#love to hear a liar get caught because he can't keep his own story straight

[airyairyaucontraire]

Today I went to the neurologist again for my follow-up appointment.  He’s going to try me on a medication called gabapentin to see if that sorts out the tremors, which would be good.  I’m just reading up on its potential side effects and one says “Gabapentin can cause feelings of excitement and exaggerated happiness (often described as a high or euphoria)” and I’m like fuck! that’d be nice, bring it on!

bet I don’t get that one though, bet I just get the drowsiness (if I do, I’m allowed to stop taking it, which is good because I just absolutely cannot be doing with drowsiness, it’s an effort to stay alert at work as it is - although that’s mostly because I am bored or the subject matter is actively unpleasant or distressing so my mind is running off in other directions as a matter of self-preservation).

He also showed me my MRI scans - there was nothing visible that would explain the tremors but that’s because of the limits of the technology.  It did show that there’s what looks like a cyst (probably benign) on my pituitary gland.  This would not be causing my symptoms, it just happened to show up while they were scanning.  Because I haven’t had an MRI before there’s no way to know if it’s been there for a while or grew recently, so I’m going to have another one in six months to see if there’s been any change, and in the meantime he’s sending me for blood tests to see if my hormones are where they should be.

[yououui]

" i'm trying so hard, but... i can't stop myself from falling in love with you. " - but it's kurogane saying it! because you know he tried to stop himself before deciding this was just his lot in life and it was time to wife that boy

I accidentally wrote a 5 page fic of Kurogane just being a lovesick idiot enjoy

They sit in silence after Tomoyo leaves them. Kurogane wants to yell at her a bit because what the hell is she playing at dressing the mage like that?! but it turns out that cutting off an arm is exhausting and he doesn’t have the energy to fight her. He does give her a glare as she exits the room and she winks back at him.

Tea is brought for them eventually and Fai carefully pours them each a warm glass. “How are you feeling?” Fai asks while handing Kurogane his cup, the first words spoken since he socked Kurogane upside the head.

Kurogane shrugs, a natural instinct that proves to be a mistake as pain shoots across his left side. Fai notices his wince and moves closer in concern, like he thinks Kurogane will need to be caught before fainting, but Kurogane waves him off. “I’m fine. Just tired.”

“And in pain,” Fai says. He almost sounds angry, but the sad look on his face betrays his tone.

“It’s not that bad,” Kurogane tells him instead. “As long as I don’t move too much.”

Fai regards the empty sleeve hanging at Kurogane’s side and the white bandages wrapped tightly around his chest. “You’re such… an idiot,” He says eventually. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“Thought I made it clear a while ago,” Kurogane responds, as easily as ever. “I’ll do anything to protect the people I love.”

Fai laughs, though it sounds more like a sob, and shakes his head. “If you love me then you’re even more of an idiot.”

“Trust me, I know,” Kurogane says. When Fai lifts his eye, Kurogane offers him a small smile just so the idiot doesn’t get the idea in his head that Kurogane is serious. Somehow, even for as upset as he is, it gets Fai to smile weakly as well. That gives Kurogane the encouragement he needs to continue. “Y’know mage, I’m trying so hard—I’ve been trying for a while, but…”

But…?

When did it start exactly? When did the annoyance towards the insufferable man sitting beside him turn into curiosity? When did he begin finding himself wanting to know more about him—when did he begin to care?

He can’t be certain but Outo springs to mind first. The moment Fai’s casual admittance that he wanted to die spiked anger in Kurogane. Anger not towards Fai, as Fai believed, but towards the mere idea of him going through with it. And the moment he saw the mage’s ribbon on the ground, no body to be seen as demons surrounded him and that anger returned like a tsunami wave engulfing him until he could barely see or breathe.

And the relief when he saw the idiot was actually alive. And the frustration at himself for feeling so relieved for someone that didn’t care about Kurogane or himself. Kurogane knew that it was pointless to let himself be interested in the mage; Fai was a liar that carefully kept them all at arms length and Kurogane had no idea who he would see when the mask finally fell.

But he didn’t want Fai to die. As grating as Fai could be, Kurogane wanted him to stick around. He didn’t care about Fai’s past, but he wanted to understand him more. He wanted to know what he liked—liquor, music, cooking, annoying Kurogane, cats, dogs?—and what he disliked—hangovers, waking up early, pickles, personal questions, green tea. He wanted to understand what had Fai so guarded, what had him so afraid, and he wanted Fai to understand that he could let the walls down every now and then, that Kurogane would protect him from whatever he was running from.

And then Yama, Piffle, Lecourt, seeing those walls break down brick by careful brick. Feeling the strength of Fai’s magic for the first time as it engulfed them, the sheer power of it suffocating and brilliant. And Kurogane felt a brief spark of hope that maybe, maybe, Fai was beginning to learn that caring wasn’t such a bad thing.

And then the fear that came with the weight of Fai’s limp body in his arms, the way his blood fell like morbid tears and stained usually flawless skin. Kurogane had felt that once before as a child, the night his life was burned to ruins but he still refused to let his mother go. Kurogane also refused to let Fai go; he needed to feel the mage’s breath and heartbeat, no matter how weak. He needed to know with certainty that Fai was still alive.

It may have began earlier, but it was then that he realized that his minor curiosity had grown into something he couldn’t control or bury or pretend not to notice. In that moment, his worldview narrowed down until he could only see Fai, the noises around them dulled except for Fai’s wavering breath and weak voice, and suddenly anything else he’d ever wanted didn’t seem to matter. He made the wish and paid the price and bound himself to Fai, a man who would keep running seemingly forever.

Well then, to hell with Nihon—he could find a new home or wander around new worlds with Fai until the day he died. He could give up his own life, tear out his own heart, anything it would take to keep that idiot alive for one more day.

It was only after it was over and the price paid that Kurogane reminisced about his parents and realized that there was a word for what he was feeling.

“But I can’t stop myself from falling in love with you.”

Fai says nothing but the breath he takes is sharp enough to cut the stillness around them. Because sure, Kurogane loved him, he cared, they were friends after all. But to fall in love…

It was something he knew he shouldn’t feel as soon as he realized it. He knew he should avoid it. If he tried to pursue someone who did not want to be chased, it would only end in disaster.

And gods did he try to stop it before it reached that point. Kurogane had heard of heartbreak of course, through others lamenting the loss of their beloved or reading about it in books, but he’d never experienced it himself. He didn’t understand how such a feeling could overwhelm someone completely and scoffed at characters in stories that threw themselves from high windows or drank poison rather than live a day without their love.

But then he felt it, that hot knife of rejection stabbing him straight through the chest. Each cold word and hostile glare twisted the blade until he was certain his heart had been crushed to a gruesome, mangled mess, and yet there were still tender bits of it left for Fai to sink his claws into. And then Kurogane understood the windows and the poison and honestly, he’d rather cut off his other arm than ever experience that again.

But at least Fai was alive. At least he was there, and Kurogane would take the bitter pain and more for Fai. Only for Fai.

Kurogane chuckles to himself now, the entire thing so miserable it’s almost humorous. If the person he was before Tomoyo cast him away could see him now, he’d probably call himself a moron, just like those characters in the stories. Kurogane never knew one person could change him so much. “Even when you hated me, I couldn’t help it.”

Fai’s head falls forward and he digs the heel of his palm into his eye as if it could shove his tears back inside. His other hand trembles and fists his kimono so tightly, Kurogane is worried he’ll tear right through the silk.

“I never—hated you,” Fai gasps, shoulders trembling. Kurogane feels bad for making Fai cry—Fai’s cried a lot recently. It comforts Kurogane to hear the truth, though, and he thinks the mage needs it. He has about five lifetimes of tears built up. “I couldn’t. So I tried to make you hate me but—gods, even after all I did... how I treated you…! You still wouldn’t...”

Kurogane turns his body a bit so that he can reach Fai with his right hand. He ruffles Fai’s hair and the indignant squeak Fai lets out as his head is pushed down feels entirely worth it. “Guess we’re both idiots then,” Kurogane tells him quietly.

Fai peers up at him through his hair that Kurogane has made a mess of. His face is shining with tears, his cheeks splotched red and his eye swollen and Kurogane marvels that such a beautiful person could ever exist in the mortal world.

Fai weakly—playfully—swats Kurogane’s hand away and wipes his sleeve against his cheeks. Kurogane snorts, humored that the outfit Tomoyo carefully picked for Fai to wear for a very specific reason has been reduced down to a rag to dry his face. “I think Kuro-sama must be on all kinds of strange medicine,” Fai says with a fragile but honest smile. “He’s in such a good mood and saying all kinds of weird things.”

“Mm. Don’t expect to hear this shit when I wake up tomorrow,” Kurogane tells him with a nod. He’s still smiling though, smiling like a lovesick idiot with hearts in his eyes but damn it he’s been through too much and has almost lost Fai too many times to care about it now. Hearing the slightly teasing tone in the mage’s voice and seeing him here, alive and at Kurogane’s side, soothes his torn up heart and begins stitching the pieces back together.

Fai’s smile grows as well, the fragile edges chipping away and leaving behind a look of pure happiness Kurogane has never seen on him before. Fai reaches over, letting go of his own kimono to grab the empty sleeve of Kurogane’s. “I’m sorry,” He says. “And thank you. But never do something like this again.”

“Don’t almost get yourself killed again and I won’t have to,” Kurogane tells him, grinning.

Fai nods, still smiling. “Fine. You’ll live a long, long life with me by your side, Kuro-sama. I hope you know what you’ve gotten yourself into.”

It’s probably the strangest proposal in the history of any world, but it’s one Kurogane is happy to accept.

[soldierallen]

Married. 6

Warnings: crying, arguing, few curse words, asking for sex?.

Featuring: Sebastian Stan, Henry Cavill, Anthony Mackie, Chris Evans, Alexandra Daddario.

A/N: thanks for all the love and support I really appreciate this and all the love that has been giving over these weeks also something funny Henry cavill is coming out with a new movie his costar...? Alexandra Daddario! We love that for us I actually really love Alexandra Daddario and she's SUCH A villain in this series but hey you have to have one

Part 5:

÷

As he got into the car and drove like a mad man he was so angry he wanted nothing more than to break her heart like she broke his fiancé he felt he couldn't take it anymore when He got there and had to walk up that flight of stairs...

○○○○○○○

"Did you have to get an apartment with stairs and also live three stories up" Sebastian said holding a box filled with books/magiznes

"Listen asshole, it's a cheap rent and I don't have a lot of money, Daddy's trustfund doesn't exist for me like it did for you" she rolled her eyes at him

"Okay listen that's absolutely not my fault my step father is loaded I'm his only son" Sebastian said with a smirk on his lips he eyed y/n up and down from behind her

"You're an asshole" Henry said right behind seb with a box in his hands

"I totally agree Seb shut up" Anthony said holding a box and it sorta falling he quickly grabbed it

"Anthony do not drop that box sebastian's mothers vase is in it" she said everyone rolled their eyes they hated that ugly vase but it symbolized "purity & forgiveness"

"Chris" she yelled out as everyone walked up the stairs not hearing Chris or seeing him

"Yeah I'm getting tired" he yelled, they finally got to the last three steps into her apartment

"I hate these damn steps, how long have you been living here" Sebastian said putting the box down in her place taking the back of his hand and wiping his forehead like a jerk.

"Its been 20 minutes you asshole" she laughed, he pulled her in them facing each other both out of breath "You're always here for me I can't deny how grateful I am for all four of you" she said trying to catch her breath from the stairs "whenever you need me, I'll be there I promise." He said with a light in his eyes.

○○○○○○○○

"Sebastian" Y/n said she wasn't prepared for him to be in her home in the first place.

"You've got some nerve" he was pulled out of his memories, not even realizing he knocked on her door

"What?" Her voice got high not excepting those words to come out his mouth he welcomed himself in being angry he didn't want to be but he was.

"You threatened her that you were going to ruin the wedding because you're in love with me" he said using his arms to get his point across he was mad in the car however He never wanted to ruin things between them.

She was flabbergasted, the words he spoke took her by such surprise she actually took a step backwards, he knew her feelings and didn't even care to talk about them to?

"Do you really-" her words not coming out properly "what did she say to you?" She closed the door to her apartment turning around and facing her

"You're not coming to the wedding because you're going to ruin the wedding! You're going to throw away our friendship because of your feelings?" He yelled getting angrier by the seconds

"Hold on you're gonna throw all of this on me that it's my fault?" She yelled loudly her apartment walls felt like they were shaking

"Since the beginning i knew you hated her I didn't know why until now...you're just a selfish little cry baby that can't take rejection" he never wanted to show her this side of him, his anger was pouring out of his ears his face turning different colors as he spoke, her heart was demolished at this point.

"I can take rejection, but I bet you can't take not being good enough because guess what your "wife" cheated on you, and she has been for months" her words steadily coming out like knives she didn't know she had it in her to be this devious keeping these lies for so long.

"She'd never do that to me you're a liar" not excepting those words to come out her mouth, his face soften trying to understand

"for months she's been leaving your HOME to cheat on you with another man how does that feel" she said feeling the heat rise in her entire body

His thoughts were racing

"No you're lying stop you're just trying to break us apart" He said his anger flooded his mind once again she handed him the check that was already in her pocket she pulled out her cellphone as well

"She gave this to me to stop talking to you, she threaten my job, our relationship" he sat down them both next to each other as he read the check, his eyes he felt were deceiving him

he insisted she was lying "No this is fake you're a lunatic!"

"Her "cousin" "Peter" is actually a man named Robbie she stood at Henry's hotel to stay with him for the night, she got caught and came home that night because of us" she said her voice not raised anymore they didn't look at each other they looked Straight ahead at a blank tv

"I have proof of all of it, I have witnesses I wasn't going to tell you if I didn't know and than yesterday I got her confession, Sebastian you can't marry her I forbid it"

"Let me hear it" he stared blankly with no emotion showing he took his leather jacket off, getting himself ready

"Sebastian take precaution before you liste-"

"Let me hear it"

She turned on her phone unlocking it going into her apps and pressing play

"Tell me one thing, why are you leading him on like this why are you... destroying him like this Sebastian could have such a full life"

"It's like playing with toys, you have the one toy you love bring it everywhere with you show it off it means the world to you without it you don't know what would happen, but then you come home and you see that one doll you bought awhile ago it's not the prettiest in the bunch, if anyone knew you liked the old doll better they would call you a hoarder you don't want to be a hoarder so you throw everything out and only have the nice pretty thing in front of you but right behind your closet door sits the doll you've loved your entire life"

His head spinned he wasn't sure how to take this, he felt his chest closing in on him she put her hand on his bicep "seb please" she begged for him to let out his thoughts he stood up quickly

"do you realize what's going to happen to me" He said she sat still looking up at him as he freaked out

"I bought a house with this women, i-i spent thousands of dollars on a wedding I still am in love with her I came here to stop you...not to stop my own marriage" he felt like he was going to be sick.

"And you're still going to marry her..." She stood in silence awaiting his reply.

"Do I have another choice" he said, he felt the blood in his vains run cold.

"Yes Sebastian you do have a choice! you can't marry her you can't do this to yourself and to me" she was going to cry she felt that ball in her throat it was going to happen soon

"I can't stop now, too much time money and sweat went into this I can't just give up" His words were final. he felt like he was going to cry as he put back his jacket

"If you marry her Sebastian, I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you... after all this time and you still haven't seen what she is I showed you so much evidence and its STILL NOT GOOD ENOUGH I'm never good enough for you" she was crying, and he tried so hard not to but a few tears landed on his shirt

"I don't wanna lose you you're a part of me; you're good enough you're best women I've ever met in my life" he said he felt like he was losing a piece of his personality, his life. Her

"Than don't marry her, we'll figure it out we'll fix this seb" she cried wiping her tears "we can't fix it" he cried "something broken can always be fixed" her words came out, he nodded his head he turned around and walked out the door shutting behind him she threw the pillow that was in her arms length at the door tears poured out of her eyes she was so mad and angry she didn't know what to do with it she laid on her floor in a ball crying for hours, her thoughts in her mind was only

Why doesn't he love me? Why am I not good enough? He knows she's a cheater and he's still going to marry her?, more questions and what if's sat in her mind making her cry that night she cried herself, that night Sebastian screamed and yelled at the top of his lungs crying out all of his frustration on the hill he fell in love with y/n at, no other person would ever compare to her he thought why am I still going through with this? What is wrong with Me? He cried and cried trying to figure out why he was like this he texted his friends telling them everything that happened.

-

Today had made 2 days until the wedding, her friendship with Sebastian no longer existed, it was 12pm she woke up in tears once again she hated everything wanted to see nobody, "why am I not good enough for him"

"Y/n open the door" Henry said knocking loudly she laid on her floor still from the night before crying

"I am here to so is Chris" Anthony said he let out a breath ready to talk to his best friend about his other best friend who is a fucking jerk.

"I don't wanna see anyone please go home to your families and leave me alone" she said muffled in a pillow as her crying made her face swollen, her eyes throb & body weak.. it's never been like this before heartbreak as never felt like this before.

"I don't have anyone you're my family, you know that sweetheart we love you please open the door" Henry said in his sweetest voice, Henry knew her weakspots

"I hate you for making me feel bad when I already feel bad" her face was squished up against her pillow on the carpeted floor fully clothed from the night before shoes and everything

"Open the door" Chris said she got up and unlocked the door the three men walking in her body shaking as she made her way back into her positioned

them three always made themselves at home at her place

Chris turned on the tv and sat next to her Anthony went to the bathroom and Henry fixed himself a bowl of cereal

she laid her face into the carpet instead of the pillow from previously, her body curled into a ball she's never felt like this she started crying again "Downey wants to see me at the office tonight but I have absolutely no strength to get up or be a human" she cries her breathing not catching up with her cries

"Hey" Chris said rubbing her back "I can't breathe I feel like I can't breath" she said "I know" he said Anthony came out the bathroom and sat next to her as well she put her head in his lap

"Anthony, what am I gonna do" he pushed the hair out of her face she sniffles looking up at him "What we always do Get through it, We love you he chose to marry her and ruin your friendship he's an asshole who doesn't deserve you" he said Henry and Chris nodding along to what Anthony said

"You deserve friends who are going to be there for you through thick and thin we'll always be here for you no matter what"

"Henry you had that date" she realized getting up half way "I cancelled" "and Chris you had the wedding arrangements with jen" "pushed it back" "Anthony the game" "over early"

"You didn't have to-" Henry put his finger on his lips for her to be quiet she rolled her eyes at him still tears falling rapidly she couldn't stop crying

"We're always going to come, you introduced me to my wife she knows Jennie knows you and whoever Henry gets married to in the future is going to have to deal with you too, you're a part of us our sister always" Anthony said

"don't give up on us" Chris patted her leg for reassurance "I'm sorry" she apologized for crying

"Hey you haven't had a good breakdown in a while" Chris laughed she tried to smile through the tears she sat upwards not laying on Anthony, Henry finally done with his food he came in the living room, sitting on the floor with us "I have a meeting with Downey at 5"

"I'll help you get ready later like old times, seven hours until than relax okay" Henry said kissing her temple trying to soothe her as much as he could

"I love you guys" she sniffles making Henry give the softest smile he put his head on her shoulder "we love you" Chris said rubbing her back still

They all sat together for one hour not one word spoken watching episodes of friends not saying a word to each other Henry ordered Chinese and everyone mostly ate in silence except for a small debate about football coming in contact for a few minutes, she just watched them she knew nothing about sports not because nobody would teach her she just wasn't into it, she sat and realized to herself this is my family I wouldn't be in this place this life without them and the influence they've brought in my life

She got up and cleaned whatever mess was made taking a shower and got ready for a meeting with Downey Henry helping her guiding her along the way he sa outside the door waiting for her "hurry up" he knocked on the door knowing if she stayed any longer she'd start thinking about him

"You're all welcome to stay as long as you want" she put a key on the coffee table "lock my door" she hugged the men they hugged back "watch yourself pay attention to the road no texting and text me when you get there so I know you're okay" Henry said letting go of his hug shoving his hands in his pockets

"Of course, don't buy porn on my cable" the boys laughed at her joke walking out

Maybe she wasn't going to be a mess anymore he was finally out of her life, no more arguing or being a shoulder to cry on, however her feelings were never gonna go away she's never been in tremendous love before she looks at him she gets butterflies when she touches his hand she feels sparks. Why couldn't it be her.

She got into her car, she sat there crying.. why do men treat me like this? Am I just a pawn in their games or what?

'

Sebastian woke up in his bed next to the women he was marrying in two days he wanted nothing from her or her anymore, he knew the truth she was cheater a liar

"Why are you staring at me" she said with her eyes closed

"Just admiring what a manipulative person you are" were the words he wanted so badly to come out his mouth but the real words were "just admiring your beauty that's all" he fake smiled and she opened her eyes kissing his lips he didn't recopcaite

"Seb is there something..wrong?" She paused

"No everything's great just.. fine" he got up to go to the bathroom when she pulled him back "come on let's break in this new bed" she snuggled into his arm "I'm really not in the mood for that"

"Oh come on seb please"

"I said no" he gently took her hand off his arm and went into the bathroom, he wanted nothing to do with her why is continuing to do this to himself??

Tagged: @hiddlestonstansworld @lovely-geek @imcalledflorence @misz-adrii @escapistdreamer-wishfulthinker @someplxce @cuddlesforlashton @coffeebooksandfandom @weasley16 @ilovethewayyourheartbeats @vogueworthy-barnes @xeniarocks @thisismysecrethappyplace @racheo91