#love that everyone praises how calm I am… as if this wasn't the least anxiety inducing thing going on in my life at the moment

[claudiajcregg]

if I had a nickel for every time I've gotten stuck in our building's elevator after the doors have closed, I would have two nickels. It's not a lot but it's funny that it's happened twice.

[stray-kids-react]

Shy s/o doesn't think they deserve them

Masterlist

...

Bang Chan

° He loved your shy personality, he just wanted to cuddle and praise you all day long. Even though you are a naturally soft person, that also comes with a lot of insecurities.

° Your boyfriend is a hot aussie leader with a heart of gold who fans call daddy, you can't but feel that you don't deserve such a God like boyfriend. And he can see it bothers you.

° Chan is a sweet heart who will check in on you as often as he can even with his busy schedule, he knows having an idol boyfriend can be stressful and he wants to comfort you.

° Felix was baking brownies, which you usually helped him out with even if it is just to cheer him on as he does his thing. But both of the aussies noticed your missing presence.

° Chan waltzed up to his studio, where you often hung around when you were at the dorms. Once he walked inside he noticed your figure curled up in a chair.

° You were scrolling through some messages that were sent to you via Instagram. None of the messages were pleasant, and Chan's heart broke as he read the truly gruesome ones.

"Maybe they are right. Maybe I don't deserve you." you sighed, slumping back.

"Don't say that, you are a beautiful person inside and out who I couldn't survive without." He reassured, taking your phone away as he cuddled into you.

Lee Know

° Minho always liked you since you first met during the shoot of hellevator. He was pretty obvious with his fondness of you, but you never believed that he could like you.

° Later on once you began dating, he soon realized how low your self confidence truly was. So he made a promise to himself to try and increase it as much as he can.

° Many fans would threaten you for 'taking Minho away', but Minho would shred the letters before you could see how many there truly were. He knew it would hurt you.

° Minho is very affectionate towards you and likes to show you his love through touch. Whenever you seem down, he will cover your face in small pecks until you begin to smile.

° Has seen how come fans and staff treat you, pushing you around and telling you that you aren't worth his time. Minho took it into his own hands and protected you from them.

° He doesn't like seeing you upset or feel like a burden to him, especially since you are so special to him. Minho asked Chan and JYP if he could take at least a week off, they said yes.

"You didn't have to take a week off just for me, I am okay with your schedule." You explained, ruffling his hair.

"I know you're okay with it, but I needed to get away just for a while. And I miss you everytime you're not with me." He replied, gently placing a kiss to your head.

Changbin

° Will do anything to make you see for at least a second how important you truly are to him, he usually sends you hearts and does an adorable aegyo voice when talking to you.

° When you first began to hang out, you were very distant and almost never said a word. Changbin wanted to get to know you, so he constantly made efforts to befriend you.

° Once you opened up you Changbin, he noticed how self conscious and self critical you were of yourself. His confusion as to why you hate yourself only grew stronger.

° Every morning when you both get out of the shower, he will stand you in front of the mirror and poke every feature on your body saying that it is gorgeous and perfect.

° Likes knowing that you feel comfortable around him and that you have him to go to when you are feeling down. He wants to always be there for you and support you.

° Won't admit it to you, but he once teared up while you were asleep because he picked up a hate letter that was directed at you and he was worried that you read it.

"Your eyes, stunning. Your tummy, adorable. Your ears, cute. Your lips, kiss able. Your butt, squishy. Your shoulders, gorgeous..."

"Binnie you have five minutes before dance practice, you should really get going now."

Hyunjin

° Hyunjin is known to be a visual God in all of kpop, even though he is also VERY talented. Many people have a crush on Hyunjin, and you happened to be one of the many.

° His personality was addictive to be around, his looks were God like, and his talent was insane. Thus making it harder and harder for you to see how much he truly adored you.

° You saw yourself on totally different levels, you alwere at a ten while he was in the thousands. Your thoughts always doubting a scenario where you two would date.

° Assuming Hyunjin was just being nice to you, it became very hard for Hyunjin to clue you into that fact that he liked you. Everyone knew this except for you it seemed.

° Jisung, being a close friend to both Hyunjin and yourself. Took it upon himself to try and arrange a way for you to not be so self critical and completely oblivious.

° The next afternoon, you walked into the dance practice room which was now turned into a full on romantic dining area. Shocked as you saw Hyunjin with a rose in his hand.

"Is this for me? It can't be... There must be some sort of mistake or-"

"No mistakes, I've liked you for a while and thought I was being obvious enough. But Jisung told me that I should simply confess."

Han

° You and Jisung have been dating for a while, and you watched proudly as Stray Kids gained more and more popularity as they deserved, since they are talented kings.

° The hate comments sent towards you, and the jealous fans or occasionally staff members and idols. Those never used to bother you, but they became more frequent.

° This slowly picked away at your already small amount of confidence, over thinking everything you do or ever did. And Jisung began to notice your distressed state.

° After a performance he went up to you back stage and leaned in for a kiss, when you barely responded to it and looked around the room nervously, his heart twisted sadly.

° Jisung took you to an unoccupied dressing room, and locked the door behind you. He cupped your cheeks gently as he rested his head against yours. A small sigh escaping him.

° You felt all of the built up sadness and anger rise out of you, as tears slowly sprinkled down your cheeks. Your hands clinging onto his back as he embraced you.

"Shh shh shh, it's okay. Just let it all out, it'll be okay. I'm here for you, you know that."

"I'm sorry, I just felt like I don't deserve you and I shouldn't have been so distant, their words just really hurt."

Felix

° Felix knew it was going to be a bumpy ride seeing as he is under a huge company and his band is very popular, but he was willing to go through all of that with you.

° You and Felix were best friends before you started dating, he knew you were shy and quite distant when it came to people. He started to find it cute after a couple years.

° JYP himself has criticised you for interfering with his idols's lives. Even though you didn't interfere and honestly helped Felix calm down throughout the schedules.

° Felix was disappointed by some fo the fan's toxic behavior towards you, knowing that those types of comments will stick with you for quite sometime. You made him happy and he wished others would see that.

° The other members and artists under JYP saw you as part of the big jyp family, but even their support couldn't stop the sadness that brewed as more hate letters were sent.

° You didn't want to stress your already overworked boyfriend, so you tried to find a quiet spot to cry in. But Felix knew you too well, and knew where you would hide.

"I'm okay Lix, I don't want to stress you out since your already on a hectic schedule today. I'll be fine I swear."

"I won't leave until I know for a fact that you are okay, the practice can wait. You need me right now and I'm going to be here for you."

Seungmin

(He looks so cute! I couldn't help myself lol)

° You were also a beloved idol, and many eoopel actually found your relationship with Seungmin quite adorable. You felt lucky that there wasn't so much hate directed at you.

° Even though you both seemed to have it easy compared to other idol couples, you couldn't help but feel insecure when Seungmin treated you like a queen/king.

° Many fans of yours knew that off stage you are an adorable shy bean, but no one except for Seungmin knew why you would become so shy and distant towards others.

° Your shyness came from extreme anxiety and self image issues. You never had much confidence, and Seungmin made many goals to try and bring your confidence up.

° One day after a hard performance, you sat in front of your dressing room mirror and let your tears slide down your cheeks silently. Letting your anxiety take over everything.

° Seungmin walked in with a box of celebration cupcakes, only to have hsi smile fade once he saw the tears rushing down your features. He felt his heart sink.

"I'm sorry Seungmin. It's stupid really, but I just don't feel like I deserve you."

"Y/n, we are perfect for each other. I spoil you with love and affection because you always make me feel special and loved."

Jeongin

° You knew how beloved Jeongin was, by fans, members, idols, netizens, family... Everyone. This sent a large amount of pressure towards you once you began dating.

°Jeongin loved your quiet and calm personality, it was a nice break from the loud JYP building and Stray Kids dorms. Your shyness is what attracted him to you.

° He liked cuddling with you in your apartment, talking about nothing and everything as a random movie played in the background. It was his favorite place to be.

° You both were open with anything that was bothering you and never let something stir inside of you for too long. He wanted to be your safe haven for when you need one.

° One weekend when he was staying at your place, he noticed you seemed more quiet than usual and asked you what was bothering you. Since something clearly was.

° You snuggled into his chest as you clung onto him tighter, sighing in defeat knowing you will have to admit your feelings even though you think they seem silly.

" I feel like I don't deserve you. I mean, you are Yang Jeongin a literal angel."

"You deserve the universe and everything in it, I love you and only you. Don't put yourself down, remember how much I care about you."

[jd-loves-everyone]

Chapter 1: Lee Minho

At the age of 12, the school's yearly talent contest was probably the less exciting thing about my life, unlike what most of my peers thought. Not that it was boring but, considering I didn't have anything I practiced and/or was confident enough in to show off, I just felt slightly bad for all the dreams crushed at that damned event.

I could practically smell the sweat and tears (thankfully not literally) that would be spilled on the raised wooden stage as me and my friend, Maia, entered the auditorium.

Maia, my friend since the beginning of that year (not quite my BEST friend yet, but maybe ONE of them), with what I thought was an unmatched talent for musical theatre, was sat beside me.

She was supposed to be behind those giant puke green curtains, getting ready to take the award home. But because of a twisted ankle, she was unable to (something she cried about for at least a week, unlike what I would've done).

Even in that moment I couldn't understand why she'd want to even come see the contest, considering it would only hurt her more. But I didn't question it, and instead continued to make meaningless conversation with her about our day, as parents and children began to fill the space.

The show began shortly after the (way too long) speech from the principal about how we should all enjoy the show and have fun and all that.

I somewhat space after the disappointment that was the first girl, I feel some pity for her, being the first one to perform must not be easy. I did want to comment with Maia on it but she seemed to be in her own dimension, as I could also see the thoughts going through her head at 100 miles per hour, so I zoned out.

I remember seeing a boy with an exceptionally beautiful voice, which both me and Maia nodded along to and clapped extra hard for (even if when had been politely clapping for every participant, we gave it a LITTLE more effort that time), and I can recall little less.

There apparently were a lot more students participating that year, because the show to drag on forever and move slower than a snail, which quickly got pretty boring. I returned my attention to the brightly lit stage when seeing Maia sit a little straighter in her stair out of the corner of my eye in anticipation.

The contestant announced was "Lee Minho, the Dancing Gem."

'That's a bit much.' Was what I was planning to comment to Maia, before I saw the look of admiration in her eyes and the bittersweet up turn of her lips.

"You know him?" I asked instead. Her whole demeanor changed as she energetically turned to me.

"Do I know him? Who doesn't?! He's the most talented dancer in the district, I can guarantee you. My teacher watched him dance at a competition once and said that he had the potential to win at least a few national awards at just 13. That has to count for something." She declared passionately, waving her arms about.

I hummed a quiet (and unsure) 'we'll see', before turning towards the stage once more as the spotlights focused on the centre as the thick curtains parted slightly to let the next competitor through.

Upon first glance, there was nothing too special about his appearance. He was of average height, with somewhat broad shoulders covered by a white shirt, long legs dressed in ripped blue jeans and sneakers on his feet. That plus the usual straight black hair in the usual hairstyle really didn't make him stand out much. But god, was his face enough to make him stand out.

The best way to describe it was, pretty. He was just too pretty to be real.

He had double-lidded cat like eyes, a sharp and thin nose and a not too sharp nor too soft jawline. The most curious thing about his appearance was what I like to call a 'cat smile', a smile where the corners of the lips turned upwards while the rest remained in a straight line. It all just seemed to work. I could already imagine my mother saying something like 'Either puberty came earlier for him or he's gonna be a model when it does' and at that moment, I couldn't agree more with the imaginative comment.

'The beauty of simplicity' is as close as I could get to making justice to his features.

"You seem very focused now compared to earlier." Maia commented cheekily, making me blush. I couldn't even formulate an answer (to the clear jab at my ego), too caught up in wondering about truthfulness of it. Did he catch my attention more than the others? Obviously yes (not that they could really compare to him). Do I find him undeniably attractive? Hell yes. 'Oh god. I think I just got my first crush.'

I momentarily pushed those troublesome thoughts aside, instead focusing on the performance. And thank god I did, I soon realized I would've hated to miss even a second of the stunning act.

The way he moved was captivating in its own way. It looked natural, almost effortless, but it was also easy to tell that a lot of strict planning was involved, every move was flawless and not a centimeter out of place.

It was mesmerizing to watch, the charisma radiated from him in waves from the beginning all the way to the end of the performance.

When it ended, I became aware of the flabbergasted expression I had on my face, jaw slack and eyes wide in awe. It was too much for my young brain to fully comprehend. And maybe it was my, still recovering, brain playing tricks on me, but I swore he locked eyes with me as he bowed respectfully, throwing one of those cat-like smiles in my direction before exiting the stage. Probably didn't happen.

Well, if I THOUGHT I had a crush just by looking at him, I was sure of it after seeing him dance. That and I had just discovered my new passion.

"Dude, my teacher was right. He is SO much better in person." Maia commented lightly, turning my way. She was only met with my wide eyes and flushed cheeks as I realized...

"I have a crush on Lee Minho... And I really wanna learn how to dance." Maia blinked owlishly at my declaration, before bursting out into laughter.

"Oh, you got it bad huh. Well, maybe you can talk to him after the show." She said teasingly, holding back from letting her lips spread out into a wide cheshire grin.

"Oh please. I'd just be bothering him." My blush darkened, mentally dismissing the idea immediately. Like he'd care about what I had to say.

"Come on, why not? I'm sure he'd appreciate it." Maia said, genuinely this time, as I looked at her doubtfully.

The show was over in no time, as I pondered about whether or not I should actually go and talk to my new found crush, as Maia pestered me to do so.

The awards were given out, Minho winning first place (which came as a surprise to no one), the other awards going to people who frankly weren't that great but it wasn't like the whole selection was anything extraordinary. They were the best of the worst you could say, mediocre at best. But who am I to judge, they were just kids, but I guess my standard rose a little too high after Minho's breathtaking and heart-shatteringly captivating performance.

I eventually relented, getting up and stomping with a newfound determination to the main school hall where everyone had gathered after the show, looking around.

The hall was filled to the brim with parents and students alike, chatting lively and congratulating each other (some simply for participating).

It was hard to make out anyone's face clearly in the ocean of people, but nonetheless I tried my best to look for the star of the night, despite the nerves and anxiety sizzling in my gut.

I finally caught a glimpse of him as he was leaving the hall towards the outside of the building, probably hoping to not be bothered as he probably had already been bombarded by questions and praises all night. I stood there, in a slight moment of hesitation. 'Maybe he went outside because he wanted space, I really shouldn't bother him.'

I, mentally, shook that thought out of my head, if I wanted to talk to him it had to be now or I'd never do it.

I began walking toward the door leading outside, pulling it open with probably more strength than necessary.

As I stepped outside, I saw the boy of the night, sitting on the stone stepped right outside the door, looking up at the tall buildings surrounding the school.

Upon hearing the door slam closed, Minho turned in my direction to see who had just stepped outside, a stern but subtle furrow in his eyebrows.

"Hey can I bother you for a few minutes?" I spoke with surprising confidence, that even I didn't expect.

Due to his seemingly annoyed facial expression, I thought the answer might've been a no, but his eyes widened as he carefully took in my features, what looked like recognition flashing through his eyes. It was hard to tell what it was exactly because of his calm, maybe even cold, expression. I might've missed the changes if I wasn't paying close attention to his face (which got harder and harder as I looked at how his eyes seemed to spark like stars. Which was honestly, unfairly distracting.

"You don't bother." He finally spoke, patting the stone next to him, for me to sit.

"We'll see about that in a few minutes." I said jokingly as I sat next to him. From the corner of my eye, I could see a slight, microscopical upturn in his lips. A break in his mask, perhaps.

"I... I know you've either heard this too many times already, or if not it's gonna sound really weird but... I-I... Just wanted to say that..." I tried my best to get the words out, but it got nearly impossible as I felt his curious eye on the side of my down turned face.

"You know what? Forget it. It's not even that--"

"Important? I think it is, if this hard to get it out. Come on, don't leave me hanging now." He cut me off with a light chuckle, a gentle and encouraging smile on his lips when I turned towards his voice at the interruption.

"Well... It's kind of silly but... I just wanted to say that... I sort of, fell in love with dancing because of you. Watching you perform really, ignited something in me. And I think I really just meant to say thank you for giving me something to be passionate about." As I finished I started rubbing my arms, it seemed like that temperature had dropped a few degrees. Or maybe it was just the contrast of the chilly night air with my blushing cheeks.

At his silence, I slowly lifted my head to gage his reaction. I found shock written all over his face, the last crack on his emotionless mask making it shatter completely. I also found that the expression he wore was absolutely adorable, making me unintentionally let out a small giggle, which seemed to make him snap out of whatever trance he had been under. It also seemed to ease the tense atmosphere that had built up around us due to his previous lack of reaction and my own nerves.

He looked as if he was holding back a smile of his own, but it broke through his facade as  he turned towards the buildings once again, their lights reflecting in his eyes.

"You were wrong you know? No one has ever said that to me before and it's not weird at all either. It's actually really touching. I never thought I had that effect on other people, I just thought all of them felt a sort of enjoyment at watching me. I never imagined I could move someone's emotions like that." He admitted chuckling, his eyes seeming to hold a new, beautiful shine to them.

"Well, now you know." I said awkwardly, fiddling with my sleeves. His stare was just a bit too intense for me to handle, making my blush darken (if possible).

"If you're serious about dancing, maybe you should join the dance club. I'm part of it, so I could help you out if you need it."

"Oh no, I don't know if that'd be a good idea. I would just be slowing you down." I said, furiously shaking my head in denial.

"It's no problem at all! I'm actually thinking of becoming a dance teacher when I grow up so, helping YOU helps ME." He smiled cutely.

'Why are you so damn cute?!'

"If it really isn't a problem, I guess I could try at least one class. Just to see if I like it. But I don't promise that I will!" I gave in after looking into his pleading eyes and (adorable) pouty lips. The contrast between his expression at that moment and at the beginning of our conversation was almost enough to give me whiplash. I preferred this expression much more.

We continued to talk for what seemed like an hour, though I couldn't be sure.

I did, in fact, join the school's dance club and stayed in it all the way up to high school (which wasn't covered by our school so we had to move, luckily we went to the same one, something I very anxious about).

In the dance club, I realized that it was a good idea for Minho to become a dance teacher. Under his guidance, I quickly got used to my new hobby, which soon turned into passion. He made everything seem easy and simple, and moved in a way that highlighted the precision of his moves.

I didn't think he could improve his dancing anymore, but he proved me wrong, as it had become usual, by continuing to win various awards which only got bigger and bigger.

As my love for dancing grew, so did my crush on him, as I got to see more of his 4D personality, and met his 3 adorable cats: Soon-ie, Doong-ie and Dori. I was even there when he got Dori, so I was pretty attached to the cat. (To all of them, as they were just absolutely adorable).

I've also experienced his slight... change in personality. How he became flirtier, how his compliments became bolder and how he became touchier. I tried not to think much of it, but I couldn't help but be hopeful, as those compliments weren't directed at everyone.

It only served to fuel this hope further when Hyunjin, a younger (and very handsome) dancer joined our highschool's dance club, since then we only seemed to get closer.

The moment I realised that my feelings for Minho were more than a meaningless childhood crush was actually a chain of events, not exactly one moment. Sometime after Hyunjin had joined the dance club.

It was time to go home after a long afternoon of practice, most other students had already left, bit me, Hyunjin, Minho and a few others had stayed behind to slowly pack up and tidy up the room. I was picking up my duffel bag, ready to head out, when Hyunjin called out to me. I walked over to where he, Minho and a couple other guys were gathered.

The others looked as if they were up to no good, which had me kind of curious, but I didn't dwell on it and instead turned to the one who had called me over. He also seemed odd, fiddling with his fingers nervously, his cheeks pink from something other than exertion.

"Hey. What's up?" I asked, hoping to snap the boy out of his little bubble. Seeing him like this wasn't usual, and was pretty entertaining to watch, but I didn't that snapping him out of it was the better option.

"H-Hey! Uh, well, I--" Deep breath.

"I was gonna ask you if you'd, maybe, want to go have coffee with me? Today, perhaps?" He managed after calming down, looking ready to be rejected. (Apparently. Would anyone actually reject him? No. So why was he so scared that I would?)

"O-Oh, I mean, yeah, I'd love to." I immediately felt a pang of guilt in my chest. 'What about Maia?' I thought. 'But it doesn't need to be a date, I could just try to tell him how awesome she is.' I thought, slightly bitterly, I did want a date with Hyunjin, but as my (best)friend, Maia was a priority. (Just spending time with him wouldn't hurt either).

As I accepted, Hyunjin got a small, shy smile on his face, his blush getting even darker. The boys around him laughed, patting his back. I caught a glimpse of Minho's face, his eyes were wide, jaw slack in disbelief. I brushed it off.

"Should we get going? It might get late--" I started, before being interrupted by Minho.

"Actually, she can't go today. She needs to... Help me with my cat! Yeah! I need some help with Dori!" It was clear he had made it up, but considering it was extremely out of character for him, it must have been important so I relented.

"Sorry Hyunjin, I'm gonna go with Minho. Raincheck to another day?"

Hyunjin nodded, somewhat sadly, as Minho basically dragged me out of the room by the arm as I tried to wave everyone goodbye.

Once we were out of the building, we settled into a comfortable walking pace towards the bus stop, as I texted Chan saying that he didn't need to pick me up today.

The bus ride was mostly silent (which was unusual), save for the small talk each of us tried to make. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable, but not exactly wanted either.

As we were walking down his street, nearing his house, I decided to finally ask the question that had been bugging me.

"Do you REALLY need my help with Dori? I mean, I know she likes me better, but it's still manageable right?" I said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.

He looked as if he'd been caught stealing from the cookie jar.

"She doesn't like you THAT much. But I'll admit, that wasn't my actual intention." He said sheepishly. I was finally able to put 2 and 2 together, even if it was highly unlikely.

"Wait. Were you jealous?" The question made him hesitate as he was unlocking the door to his house.

"Uh, I... You know. Uh, you know what, I don't even REALLY know why I did it anyway." He sounded sincere enough, so despite my curiosity, I dropped the subject as he seemed genuinely torn.

"Welcome. My parents won't be home until later, so we're alone for now." He walked in, taking off his jacket as I put down my duffle bag, already heading towards the living, where the cats would most likely be.

As I approached the room, I could already hear them scratching at the door and meowing loudly. I opened the door, petting Soon-ie and Doong-ie as I passed them, heading towards the window on the far end of the room, Dori's favorite spot because of the heat the sun provided when it hit.

And there she was, laying in the last remains of the already setting sun. And with no signs of injury or anything to be worried about whatsoever.

"So, what exactly was wrong with her?" I turned to Minho as he entered with a teasing look, already anticipating his answer.

"I told you already, didn't I? I lied. Not sure why though." He walked to where Dori was sat, reaching to stroke her head, making her purr in delight, as the others also got closer to their owner at the chance to get petted. In response, Minho sat down next to the newest kitten, as Soon-ie and Doong-ie tried to climb onto his lap at the same time. This made him giggle, trying his best to satisfy every one of his "children".

It was like the world froze or slowed down in that moment.

The best was to describe the way Minho looked at that moment would be angelic, but even that wouldn't cover it.

His dark hair shone in the sun, looking too soft to resist, his dark eyes gazed fondly at his pets as a beautiful, peaceful and joyful smile broke out across his face. The sun framed the scene perfectly, making look picturesque, and suddenly I wished I had my camera with me at that moment to truly capture it in all its beauty.

I realized that the difference between our first meeting and then, was humongous, in the best way possible. He had become so open to me and so... Lively and relaxed. I loved the change.

That was the moment when I realized that my crush for Lee Minho was not going away anytime soon and that it wasn't just a silly childhood crush that would disappear in 2 weeks to a month. It was there, in my heart, to stay.

"You gonna just stand there looking weird? I know you love looking at my face but..." He directed that heavenly smile toward me as he spoke.

On that day, not only did I realize the extent of my feelings for Minho, he also realized the nature of his feelings for me.

[cool-guysyndrome]

(I was gonna post this to Instagram first but the story got too long so here sees it first skkdhdh)

Title: dammit why do i always give the angst a resolution

TW: anxiety attack, heckloads of angst, swearing because virgil+stress=i get to write swearwords

Patton paced the dimly lit room, becoming more agitated with every step. He didn't know where he was, why he was there, how he got there, anything. It was awful being completely in the dark, thrown randomly into some foreign place with no forewarning or instructions. He had so many questions that it was hard to think at all. Where were his friends? Were they okay? Were they even in the same place as him? What if they were across the country or something? How would he find them? Where even was this country? Was he in a country? Why was he in a weird castle thingy on a mountain? It was scary up so high. What were these weird clothes he was wearing? What was wrong with him? Why could he suddenly create a weird green fire with his hands? Was he going crazy?

Patton sat down and leant against the cold stone wall, trying to steady his breathing. Was this how Virgil felt when he had an anxiety attack?

He looked down at his hands, scared to accidentally replicate the spectacle he had made when he went outside and set a tree on fire.

"Maybe i can control it?" He thought aloud. Worth a try.

Patton shut his eyes and tried to focus his thoughts on the tingly feeling that had spread through his fingertips when he made the fire the first time. Sure enough, he felt a soft heat begin to emanate from where his hands were outstretched, and when he opened his eyes he saw the small green flame dancing across his fingertips.

He found that he could make the flame larger or smaller by mentally compressing it, like a camera's focus lens. It was amazing, but at the same time it scared Patton more than any fear he'd ever felt before. This wasn't a kind power. This was something destructive, something dangerous. If this power was any clue to why he was in this strange place, it was not a comforting one.

Patton released his mental hold on the fire and it dissipated into nothing. He realised with a start that he had been crying while watching it, and he wiped his cheeks dry with a sleeve.

Whatever this was, it wasnt going to be easy, and how his heart ached every time he thought about the others was really not helping. Especially Virgil. Sweet, lovely Virgil, who was always kind and worried for Patton as much as his mother did, was probably hurting just as much as he was. That thought would have killed Patton, but his thoughts were mercifully interrupted by a-

---

-'CRASH!'

"Fuck. Just when i thought my day couldn't get better huh."

Virgil glared at the fallen ornament like it was personally responsible for all the wrongs in the world, which it probably was in his eyes.

He crouched down with a sigh and picked up the broken pieces of ceramic. There were far too many breakable things in this stupid palace for someone as clumsy and lazy as him to be around.

He found some servant to give the pieces to, waving off their apologies and persistent praise. It was exhausting, all this social interaction. Virgil wondered how Roman ever wished for this kind of thing, but he supposed Roman was the only person crazy enough to like it.

He kept walking, slow enough to still pass as a walk, but fast enough that he could escape to his room as quickly as possible. Finally he reached safety, locking the door behind him. He sunk to the floor, exhausted.

"This place is fucking crazy. I think im going crazy." He told the empty room.

"I dont know what they want me to do half the time, and they treat me like the fucking king of the universe more than some stupid prince. I just want to go home and not have to deal with this stupid, stressful, nonsensical place and its mad inhabitants!"

He ran a hand through his hair.

"Inhabitants? What am I saying? Fuck, i sound like Logan."

Logan. The others. Shit. "Great now thats just a whole other problem as well. Wonderful. Fucking fantastic!"

Virgil stood up and took his cape off, tired if the heavy and unnecessary clothes. He started to anxiously pace the room, caught up in a flurry of thoughts that were making it a little hard to breathe.

"Shit. Shitshitshit. The others. Are they safe? I need to go find them. Are they even here? What if theyre in trouble? Logan and Roman might be okay on their own, but Pat..."

Virgils voice trailed off as his mind thought a horrible, terrible thing. Patton. Gentle, bubbly Patton, the light of his life, could be in danger. Or worse, already hurt. Virgil fell back to the floor, every inhale more of a struggle than the last. His whole body filled up with an overwhelming sense of dread that drowned out any of his attempts to calm himself down. His heart began to pound like it wanted to escape his chest, and he pulled at his hair like he wanted to rip it out. He thought he heard a strangled scream from someone nearby. Why were they screaming? He should be the one screaming. Then he realised that it was his own voice, and he was the one emitting the heartbroken cry. He managed to stop his screams but there was no ceasing the sobs that wracked his body as he lay curled on the floor, his mind repeating a single horrible thought a million times-

---

-over Patton's head flew a tiny streak of black, and it seemed to be hurt because it wasnt flying in a very coordinated fashion. One wing was flapping a lot less than the other.

Patton waited for the little animal to settle, then he stood a few feet away from where it had landed on the table.

"Hey, hey, I'm not gonna hurt ya. You look like you need a bit of help, actually, little guy."

He started moving towards the table very slowly so he didnt startle the creature.

"Hey, its okay, im gonna help you, alright? Lets have a look at that wing."

Patton continued to talk soothingly to the little creature until he was close enough that he could reach out and touch it. He saw that the animal was a small black bat, and one of its wings had a splinter of wood in it, not enough to do bad damage, but enough to affect its flying ability.

Patton slowly outstretched his hand, and waited for the small animal to make a move first, as a kind of permission. The little bat looked up at him with big black eyes with a shine of blue in them, and if it were human Patton would have sworn it was studying his face.

Then, all of a sudden, he heard a voice say, "Help?"

He nearly fainted.

"What?! Did you- did you just speak?!"

He watched the bat carefully, but its little face didnt move an inch even though he heard the voice clear as day. "Help wing?"

Patton couldn't help staring at the little creature.

"How are you doing that?!"

"Person help wing? Yes, no?"

"Oh my goodness gracious. And i thought the fire was weird."

"Help wing, yes, no?"

"Yes, yes, sorry, yes, ill help you. May i?"

Patton held out a hand to the bat's wing. The little creature obliged and lay its wing across his hand.

"If i ever see him again, i will definitely tell Virgil about this. He'll hate me for it because he's always wanted to talk to animals."

"Vir..gil?"

"Yea, hes my boyfriend."

"Oh. Boy Friend Virgil." The little animal seemed to think for a second, then it spoke again.

"Boyfriend, Virgil. I, Jazzy. You?"

"What?" Patton took a second to realise what the little creature meant.

"Oh, is that your name? Oh! Its lovely! I'm Patton!"

"Pat..ton. Patton. Patton help Jazzy."

"Yes, thats right, im helping you! By the way, are you a boy or a-

---

-Gurl you are a mess. You're lucky i can pick locks hun."

Remy closed the door quietly and went to sit beside where Virgil still lay on the floor.

"I heard you scream. Good thing i convinced those other losers that I'd handle this." He glanced down at Virgil again, noting his fists still clenched in his hair.

His voice was a bit more firm as he continued. "Virgil. Can i touch you?"

The purple-haired boy hesitated a moment, then shakily nodded through his hands. Remy gently pried his hands down from his hair.

"Can you sit up for me?"

Virgil did.

"Okay. Can you copy my breathing? 4-7-8 yeah?"

Virgil nodded.

Once Remy was sure that Virgil was no longer in such a bad state, he got him to sit on his bed and gave him a glass of water.

"Thanks." Virgil managed as Remy handed him the glass.

"Youre fine, gurl, i get this kind of thing a lot. The staff here get stressed all the time and someones gotta help calm 'em down, y'know?"

"Yeah."

"Besides, gotta have you in top condition so i can 'scold you' as Perce puts it, or as i like to say, roast your sorry ass."

"Really? What did i fuck up this time?"

"Oooh gurl you wouldnt believe it. So much that the cat wants your hide."

"The cat?"

"The cat."

Virgil wasn't quite smiling, but his eyes werent as sad any more.

Remy lay back on his bed like he owned it.

"Nah, I'm messing with ya."

"I know." Virgil couldnt help a small smile.

"Its not the cat, hun, its the rats that cat's chasing that want your blood. Have fun arguing with rodents."

"That bad huh?"

"Nah not really. Percy wants to help you with some stuff you were struggling with today."

"Struggling?" Virgil raised an eyebrow at the other man.

Remy chuckled. "Gurl, you and i both know you aren't really the prince. Gotta have someone in on the secret to help before everyone is."

"Touché."

After Remy left, Virgil lay back on his bed, realising just how exhausted he was. This wasn't going to get any easier. But maybe it could, at the very least, be possible.