#love seeing kaladin as the silly little guy he deserves to be

[preservationandruin]

Oathbringer Liveblog! Part Once, Chapters 5-9

Onward! Back to Kaladin’s perspective for the first time in the book!

(”Casper, why are these taking so long?” you may ask. First off, I have actual school to do, and also, NaNoWriMo. Also, writing these slows me down a good bit. Thirdly, I’m doing my level best not to devour this book and wake up three days later with no memory of the past few days, not having eaten or slept)

Kal Arrives, My heart hurts because of how happy I am, Kal has a Not Heterosexual Thought, Kal fucking Did That,  We get happy news about Kal’s family, and Adolin has gotten himself into some shit.

We get a nice big map of Alethkar that YET AGAIN MY PHONE REFUSES TO ZOOM IN ON oh wait it did nevermind this is a great map. 

Kal is upset because he’s too late to get to Hearthstone before the Everstorm hit it. He could only fly so far with his stormlight. 

OH NO KALADIN’S UNIFORM WAS TOO BEAT-UP AND SO HE’S WEARING A GENERIC ONE AND NOT ONE FROM BRIDGE FOUR. THAT’S JUST...WRONG

Anyway, Syl has learned how to make a havah with a safehand. And an umbrella! For when it rains. I love her. 

Anyway, Hearthstone is a mess, which isn’t good. Brandon, do not kill off Kaladin’s family, let this man have one (1) good thing happen to him, PLEASE. Syl and Kal see a gloomspren. Syl mentions that her “aunt” used to hunt them. Some part of me wants to meet this gloom-hunting honorspren aunt. She sounds cool. 

Anyway, there’s light in the manor house! And Kaladin sees a guard, who he lets “bully” him into the building. 

God, you know what i want from this scene? I want Kal to see Roshone again. And I want Roshone to see that Kaladin is a fucking Radiant now. Also I want Kaladin to hug his parents and get told he did the best he could because he deserves it but also also, I really want Roshone to get fucking owned. 

Anyway, Kaladin is recognizing people! And seeing how much he’s grown since he first came here. Nobody recognizes him--last time he was there he was a scrawny kid, but now, he’s. Well. He’s Kaladin. And the guard is taking him to see Brightlord Roshone holy fucking shit this is going to be good. 

Anyway, Kaladin glares the guard down because nobody in that room is more dangerous than Kaladin Stormblessed in that moment. Kaladin hears that people were injured and immediately makes a beeline for that area. And, of course, Lirin is there--because he’s always trying to heal the wounded. 

“What’s this?” Lirin asked, turning back to his work. “Did the highprince’s house send soldiers already? That was faster than expected. How many did you bring? We can certainly use...” Lirin hesitated, then turned back to Kaladin. 

Then his eyes opened wide. 

“Hello, Father,” Kaladin said. 

MY! BOY!

Kaladin casually dodges the guard and my heart fucking shatters: 

“It is you.” Lirin said. Then he scrambled over and caught Kaladin in an embrace. “Oh, Kal. My boy. My little boy. Hesina! HESINA!” 

[...]

“I’m sorry, Father, Mother,” he whispered. “I joined the army to protect him, but I could barely protect myself.” He found himself shaking, and he put his back to the wall, letting himself sink down until he was seated. “I let Tien die. I’m sorry. It’s my fault...” 

“Oh, Kaladin,” Hesina said, kneeling down beside him and pulling him into an embrace. “We got your letter, but over a year ago they told us you had died as well.” 

“I should have saved him,” Kaladin whispered. 

“You shouldn’t have gone in the first place,” Lirin said. “But now...Almighty, now you’re back.” Lirin stood up, tears leaking down his cheeks. “My son! My son is alive!” 

I’m just putting this here because there’s no comment that I can give to this without somehow selling it short. My heart has grown three sizes this day and I’m so happy for Kaladin. 

Anyway, cut to a soldier arguing with Lirin about Kaladin’s brands while Kaladin eats soup. 

“He almost seemed too pretty to be a soldier, but then, he was light-eyed.” 

That’s not a heterosexual thought. 

ANYWAY, Kal’s just not talking much, letting things happen around him. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some form of shock happening. Still, I do want him to own Roshone. 

“Roshone wore a lighteyes’ coat that was several seasons out of fashion--Adolin would have shaken his head at that.”

I love that Kal is imagining how Adolin would call out Roshone’s fashion if Adolin were there. And then. Holy shit. 

“So, you’re alive. They didn’t teach you to keep yourself in the army, I see. Let me have a look at those brands of yours.” He reached over and held up the hair in front of Kaladin’s forehead. “Storms, boy. What did you do? Hit a lighteyes?”  “Yes,” Kaladin said.  Then punched him. 

THIS HAS MADE MY DAY, HOLY SHIT, MY SKIN IS CLEAN, MY SLEEP SCHEDULE IS RESTORED, HOLY SHIT

And then he says that that was for Moash. 

No I do not have any regrets about using a Homestuck gif. 

Of course, then we get Lirin going KAL WHAT THE FUCK which is a fair reaction, probably. Roshone tells the guards to get him but they’re a bit more scared of Kaladin than they are of him. Good. 

For a short time, it had been nice to just be Kal again. Fortunately, he wasn’t that youth any longer. He was a new person--and for the first time in a long, long while, he was happy with that person.

I’M SO PROUD OF HIS CHARACTER GROWTH AND GETTING TO A PLACE WHERE HE’S HAPPY WITH HIMSELF I JUST. KALADIN’S STRUGGLE WITH MENTAL ILLNESS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME. 

Anyway, Kaladin immediately goes into Captain Kaladin mode, critiquing the soldiers as they decide whether or not to attack him. They, wisely, decide no. One of them calls him sir. Kaladin knows what he’s fucking doing. Roshone asks what makes him think he can order people around. 

So he summons Syl as a shardblade. Oh, but there’s something very interesting here: 

Everything grew still. Townspeople froze, gaping. Roshone’s eyes bulged. Curiously, Kaladin’s father just lowered his head and closed his eyes. 

...what does Lirin know? 

Anyway I still love Syl: 

“Syl?” Kaladin whispered. “I might need you again.”  “You sound apologetic,” she said, cocking her head.  “I am. I don’t like the idea of swinging you about, smashing you into things.”  She sniffed. “Firstly, I don’t smash into things. I am an elegant and graceful weapon, stupid. Secondly, why would you be bothered?”  “It doesn’t feel right,” Kaladin replied, still whispering. “You’re a woman, not a weapon.”  “Wait...so this is about me being a girl?”  “No,” Kaladin said immediately, then hesitated. “Maybe. It just feels strange.” 

We also get that some of the “old spren” have four genders instead of two, “because humans didn’t imagine those ones, silly.” Leaving aside that this world apparently has decided that a two-gender culture is a Universal Human Thing, I’m willing to bet those were thought of by Parshendi. 

Laral is back and matter-of-fact, and I am a little in love with her. 

Kal: I wanted to save you Laral: why the fuck did you think i needed saving Kal

Fuckin tell him off Laral. Syl likes her. Kaladin is completely unsurprised by that. Laral is a little floored by the fact that Navani Kholin and Dalinar Kholin are willing to talk instantly when they hear Kaladin is on the other line. 

WAIT A SEC KALADIN HAS A LITTLE BROTHER. KALADIN GETS TO HOLD HIS YOUNGER BROTHER AND HE STARTS CRYING. HIS NAME IS ORODEN IT MEANS CHILD OF PEACE.

And Kal’s gotta do a little Lashing to show off his Radiant abilities before he goes because GOD FORBID a Radiant go anywhere without being EXTRA AS HELL. It’s required. 

Anyway, he flies off to go Voidbringer-hunting. 

After that chapter we get a picture that almost looks like Urithiru, but the tower tilts and at the top is a massive spiralling blackness, so that’s not terrifying at all. 

Well, we just went over to Shallan, who is drawing Urithiru, so that’s probably it. Pattern is trying to talk with her, but she’s shutting him out. We get that Urithiru is a building that Shallan can’t sketch, which is. Alarming. We’ve already gotten that the hallways don’t make sense, although Dalinar can traverse them. What’s up with Urithiru? Why doesn’t it make sense? 

I don’t like it. 

Pattern is trying to understand why Shallan hates the shardblade itself but not him. Shallan herself knows it’s irrational. She also refers to Kaladin as “Brightlord Brooding-Eyes.” 

I would like to offer another short prayer for DEAR GOD NO LOVE TRIANGLE PLEASE. Also, we get that Shallan used surrealism to try to draw the tower. I feel like Shallan would be great at surrealism. She’s also gotten Dalinar to pretend she’s an elsecaller, to hide that she can make illusions. 

The scout asks if Shallan has a shardblade, Shallan clarifies that she can be feminine while still a knight, and the scout is kind of disappointed. LET! WOMEN! FIGHT!

Okay, Shallan can also find her way around Urithiru. I’m willing to bet that’s a Radiant thing, because Dalinar can too. Dalinar is trying to ask for diplomatic advice and Shallan is like, listen. I was a very sheltered child. (Technically true). I know shit about diplomacy. Also, apparently Pattern is scared of Dalinar. Adolin finds this perfectly believable. 

Somehow, Dalinar drew in Shallan’s Light and made a massive topographical map of Roshar. It’s what the Stormfather sees when he looks at Roshar--so it’s a combined effort. When Dalinar mentions the red-eyed man with nine shadows, Renarin turns to him and his jaw drops--has Renarin seen this, too? 

Nobody knows what’s going on in Kholinar, which is really not good. 

The scout from before is back--her name is Lyn. Let! Lyn! Fight!

Anyway, there’s been another murder, and at least this time we know it wasn’t Adolin. He was in the room. Anyway, the dead guy was in Sebarial’s army, and wow, Adolin seems a little perturbed about this, doesn’t he. 

The guy was killed in the exact same way Sadeas was. That’s...that’s not good. Is someone going to try to pin a series of murders on Adolin? And who’d do that? The Ghostbloods? The “Sons of Honor?” (I’ll stop putting it in air quotes when it earns the fucking name). Why are there so many conspiracies on Roshar, anyway? 

Anyway it looks identical to Sadeas’ murder and Adolin is horrified and aghast. He’s saying it was impossible. 

“But I’d assumed...I mean, I figured the death of Sadeas was an isolated crime. You know how he was. Probably got himself into trouble. Any number of people could have wanted him dead, right?”

Adolin, you’ve gotten yourself into some shit, now. Admit it now, or you’ll be dragged even deeper. Just say “I killed Sadeas but I didn’t kill this man.” ]

Between Urithiru only being navigable by Radiants, having non-euclidian proportions that can only be captured through surrealism, and now having a murderer stalking its halls, it’s looking like a place out of a cosmic horror story, not a center for heroes. 

AND DALINAR ASSIGNS ADOLIN TO LOOK INTO THE MURDERS G O D

Both Shallan and Renarin have noticed that something’s off with Adolin; Renarin in particular seems to have caught on to it. Pattern is humming--he can sense lies. 

Shallan pulls Adolin aside to ask if he knew anything about it, and when he says he knew nothing about this murder, she believes him. Adolin JUST FUCKING FESS UP. Renarin totally knows: 

Renarin remained in the room, looking down the hall after them until Shallan got far enough away that--over her shoulder--she could no longer see him. 

He knows, but does he know who killed this man? it’s a mystery. 

[nightblink]

Blink Reads Oathbringer - Chapters Five, Six, and Seven

Chapter Five – Hearthstone

FINALLY A KALADIN CHAPTER

(this being one of the other chapters I read pre-release)

Kaladin is going home, aaaaaahhhhhhh

He's already depressed over being too late, this does not bode well for his mental state, he's been whiplashed from Syl's 'death', to his realization and going to protect Elhokar, to Moash's betrayal and saying his next oath, to the battle on the Plains and saving Dalinar and battling Szeth, and now this.

Let the poor guy rest.

The description of the fields with the rising motes of lifespren is giving me a Ghibli vibe. Specifically, the forest in Princess Mononoke.

Walking from the Aladar princedom to Hearthstone in the Sadeas princedom? I am now even more miffed that we aren't. given. a distance scale. on the map of Alethkar.

I'm not asking for a full elevation DEM with datum and georeferencing I just want a scale is that so much to ask

Syl is a blessing, as she's ever been. Designing herself a little havah! Immediately forgetting it to turn into a stormcloud and then a lurg!

Awwww, he's not in his Bridge Four uniform? Drat. At least it's a Kholin uniform, but still. They should have been able to scrounge up a patch at the very least. Is it an officer's open coat, or a standard soldier's closed-coat? Sanderson, these are important details.

He's really pessimistic about this, but I'm thinking it's not going to be as bad as he fears. Fingers crossed.

Not that the destruction and lack of people when he arrives puts any lie to his worry.

Even thinking about Roshone right now is enough to make me growl. Bastard. The manor is the most likely place to be fortified and survive, though. No doubt he's still around.

...except that the parshmen were there. Right.

!!! An 'aunt'? Spren-hunts? More about spren society? Interrelationships? Syl, tell us more.

At least there are still people alive and present. That's enough to give Kaladin a flicker of hope, and he of all people needs that right now.

Chapter Six – Four Lifetimes

Nobody is going to recognise you, Kaladin, you've changed too much – you've grown, in more ways than just your outer form.

“Don't make me down you, son.” Okay, I had far too much fun cackling at this man's expense. Please sir, try. Make my day.

Oh, Kal. I know this isn't the way you wanted to return, but keep moving and keep your head held high. Please.

“There are wounded?” Yes! Go! Be a medic, Kal! And while you're there, where there are wounded there will be-

LIRIN

I'm sorry but Kaladin absentmindedly handing the guard his ass is far, far too amusing

LIRIN. WHO IMMEDIATELY KNEW. AND CALLED FOR HESINA AND RAN TO HUG KALADIN, AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH-!

“My little boy.” even though Kaladin probably towers over his father by now, he'll always be Lirin's little boy

Shockspren, those are new

You can practically hear his voice breaking with his confession, and my heart hurts for him, oh Kaladin, you tried, you tried

HUGPILE. THIS IS JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR CALLED FOR.

More on food, good, good, I want all the little cultural details

Awwww, his parents are trying to protect him in whatever way they can; they probably think he escaped enslavement, stole a uniform for ease of travel…

'She talked to him as if he were a child.' Yeah, I was picking that up – you did leave when you were a child, but it's been years since then, and they weren't there for that passage of time. You've all changed, but been apart for it.

'And four lifetimes.' Chills. But good ones.

YUP they definitely still think he's a slave

I'm psyched for the sheer glee I know I'll feel when he disproves that. He's been hanging around the Kholins for too long and their Extra™ has been rubbing off on him.

….is Syl bound close enough to Kaladin to start 'remembering' his memories?! !!!!! Oh man, my love for soulbonds is having a field day with all these Nahel bond revelations!

Syl. Syl what was that 'other song'. Syl I demand to know

Kaladin, everybody looks small because you're tall now. Not to mention you've been spending your time amongst soldiers, especially densely muscled ones like your bridgemen, built-like-a-brick-wall Dalinar, and I-beat-Shardbearers-for-a-living Adolin. Also Rock, who is a small mountain.

...hello, Roshone. Fuck off.

YES

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

“That,” Kaladin said, “was for my friend Moash.”

FUCKING EAT IT, ROSHONE. YOU DESERVE THAT AND WORSE

Chapter Seven – A Watcher at the Rim

You can just see Lirin's dropped jaw, along with everyone else in the room. And yes, Syl, thank you for agreeing.

I still want to punch something in celebration, that was glorious

“unsettled debt” HEH. And one that Roshone has no idea even exists. Doesn't matter. He still needs his teeth rearranged.

Do better.

Oh fiiiiine. Still. He deserved it.

Kal dressing those soldiers down like a drill sergeant is almost just as satisfying, as is his barking orders to Roshone.

…..he's equal rank to Roshone now, isn't he? Landed lighteyes overseeing a region are fourth dahn, as are Shardbearers. And Kaladin has far more authority. Oh, this is going to be fun.

The soldiers certainly sense it. Good for them.

SYLBLADE

“feeling his eyes bleed to blue.” He can feel that? What kind of a feeling is it? Like stormlight, ozone-mist and luminous? Is it only a faint sensation, or one that can't be missed? I must know

Brightlord. Ohhhhh, I don't know how Kal's going to feel about that title….

Kaladin, you're speaking about the king by name again. This time, in front of people who probably have no idea that you are/were his bodyguard.

Oooo, Roshone might be fifth dahn, if he doesn't actually “have stewardship over any of the highprince's lands”.

“I am an elegant and graceful weapon, stupid.” Syl, I love you. Also liking the distinction between her and Wyndle here, since Wyndle also considered himself quite the elegant Shardfork but didn't want at all to be a weapon.

Some of the old spren have four genders? @spasticcharge mentioned that to me since she got the book before I did, and mentioned that it could be male-female-malen-femalen, matching with the Parshendi, considering their changes via spren-bond. Doubly reinforced by Sly saying “Because humans didn't imagine those ones, silly.”

“As much as I hate it, we don't have time to oust Alethkar's ruling class and set up something better.” START A SOCIAL REVOLUTION, KALADIN

Laral! You're… not as I expected to see either. The whole marriage to Roshone was squicky as hell. You've changed too. Grown. Hardened, but… not in a bad way, have you? Your soldiers respect you, you're competent, and Syl likes you. That says a lot.

I didn't expect you to defend Roshone, though.

No Lirin, he hasn't hardened as much as you think. He still has that emotional core that rules him. He's just used to making do with what he has, which has usually been little to nothing.

Life before death. Said to Lirin, echoed with Dalinar. [sc r e am s]

Already calling Urithiru “home”, are you?

BROTHER

I know my dash already spoiled me for it but I DON'T CARE. BROTHER BROTHER KALADIN HAS A BROTHER

Oroden

[weeps]

Glowing Kaladin standing framed in the doorway as he rises into the air, reassuring the people of Hearthstone. It's as good a guarantee as they can get, and more importantly, he's given them a cause for hope.

[preservationandruin]

Words of Radiance Part Four Part Two

Alright, let’s keep this moving!

Kaladin Is Still In Prison, Adolin Was Also In Prison, Kaladin gets out of prison and makes a bad decision, I yell at Amaram a lot, Wit also yells at Amaram, Dalinar’s visions are leaked to the public, Shallan and Kaladin go on a Chasms Road Trip, Shallan remembers a fateful day, I yell at Amaram more, and Dalinar is ready for his big trip. 

WARNING: Shallan’s flashback includes physical and emotional abuse, as well as attempted and successful murder. 

Kaladin is still in prison. He’s noting that his thoughts are starting to distort the truth--again, That Mentally Ill Feel. He knows Dalinar will get him out, he believes Dalinar will get him out--but his mind twists it until he starts thinking Dalinar might have lied. He also starts beating himself up for being a bad guard, despite having gone toe-to-toe with the Assassin in White and lived, driving him off. 

He thinks bridge four is happy to be rid of him oh my god that is the most painful sentence I have ever read. 

Fortunately, he’s being let out. He promises that nobody will ever do this to him again, regardless of station. Aaaaaaand he runs into Adolin. Who is also in a cell. Because of course. And not only did Adolin lock himself up, he ordered that Bridge Four be there when Kaladin was released. 

Adolin Kholin is a good man. 

“Didn’t seem right, you in here,” Adolin said, eyes forward.  “I ruined your chance to duel Sadeas.”  “I’d be crippled or dead without you,” Adolin said. “So I wouldn’t have had the chance to fight Sadeas anyway.” The prince stopped in the hallway and looked at Kaladin. “Besides. You saved Renarin.”  “It’s my job,” Kaladin said. “Then we need to pay you more, bridgeboy. Because I don’t know if I’ve ever met another man who would jump, unarmored, into a fight among six Shardbearers.” 

And then they start bonding over Kaladin being incredulous about Adolin’s cologne and Adolin being mock-offended and even making fun of himself, and Adolin apologizing for ruining the plan, and Adolin pointing out that technically, Elhokar ruined it. 

Adolin also wholeheartedly believes Kaladin about Amaram--points out that you never hear about Amaram doing anything wrong, whereas even Dalinar--the best man Adolin knows--makes mistakes, loses his temper, and has a checkered history. Amaram doesn’t, which is pretty fucking suspicious. 

Yet again, Adolin’s intuition is scarily sharp. Right about Sadeas, right about Kaladin, right about Amaram. If he actually puts some more work into it, he could get really good at reading people. 

I love Adolin Kholin so much as a character like yeah, he can be a fuckup, but he is a genuinely good person. 

Also Bridge Four in unison salutes the moment that they see Kaladin and then just start cheering. Renarin is there in uniform, stimming but cheerfully talking with Adolin; Rock makes fun of Kaladin’s new beard. 

BRIDGE FOUR IS BACK TOGETHER. 

Also Adolin now apparently owns two shardblades and three sets of plate, the Kholin family owns a quarter of the Shards in all of Alethkar (actually more if Shallan marries into the family and I also know they’re not counting Jasnah, even though Ivory can become a Shardblade) and also Adolin is dueling champion now, as well he should be. 

And Adolin offers the plate to Kaladin...who gives them to Moash. Kaladin is purposely testing Adolin and actually flinches as Adolin grabs his shoulder--to ask if he’s sure. 

Because Adolin, unlike Amaram, is ACTUALLY A DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEING. Kaladin also makes the cryptic comment that he’d be more useful against the Assassin in White without Shards. 

Moash’s new shard has a heliodor in the pommel, as a note. I wonder if that’s why his eyes go tan--is it just a lightening of the original color of the person’s eyes, or is it correspondant to the color of the stone powering the Blade? Kaladin’s eyes going blue near the end there imply it’s the power of the Blade making the eyes turn, so it probably corresponds to color? Although that doesn’t answer for why Lighteyes’ eyes don’t change. 

Rambling aside, Rock decides this shardplate shit is taking way too long and that they should be having a party. GREAT CAPTAIN KALADIN, STORMBLESSED AND DWELLER IN PRISONS, YOU WILL EAT MY STEW NOW. 

God I love Bridge Four. 

Also they were debating whether or not to break Kaladin out I fucking love them so much. my BOYS. Also they’re all willing to kick the shit out of Amaram. Same. Absolute Same. 

Aaaand Kaladin says that Moash’s friends are right about Elhokar. KAL NO. 

Over to Dalinar. Dalinar also basically says Kaladin reminds him of him when he was younger--although I have to note that Kaladin had a more level head. Also Navani is being an Engineer and Dalinar is trying to follow along. Mixed success. Also, Navani has figured out that the gemstones in Shards are not what originally powered them. 

Navani is still mourning Jasnah. “What happened to my little girl, so full of questions?” Ouch. 

Navani Deserves Better. 

Also we get another implication that Navani didn’t really care for Gavilar. Something was up with their marriage. 

Anyway, Dalinar’s trying to convince people to join his attempt to do a massive attack against the Parshendi. He’s noted that the Parshendi have stopped trying to go after gemhearts--which would be because their tactics have drastically shifted in a way that the Alethi cannot possibly be prepared for.

Also, Wit’s back. And Sadeas is purposely undermining Dalinar because he’s a shithead. I fucking hate Sadeas. 

“You always assume it’s me,” Sadeas said.  “That’s because any time I think it isn’t you, I’m wrong.” 

Yeah, Sadeas, Dalinar isn’t going to be that easy to fool this time. Easy to stymie, though, because for all Dalinar’s skills he is shit at political intrigue.

AND SPEAKING OF PEOPLE I FUCKING HATE, AMARAM IS HERE!

“Why, Brightlord Amaram!” Wit cried. “I was hoping I’d be able to see you tonight. I’ve spent my life learning to make others feel miserable, and so it’s a true joy to meet someone so innately talented in that very skill as you are.”  [...] “Do I know you?” Amaram asked.  “No,” Wit said lightly, “but fortunately, you can add it to the list of many, many things of which you are ignorant.”  “But now I’ve met you,” Amaram said, holding out a hand. “So the list is one smaller.”  “Please,” Wit said, refusing the hand. “I wouldn’t want it to rub off on me.”  “It?”  “Whatever you’ve been using to make your hands look clean, Brightlord Amaram. It must be powerful stuff indeed.”  Dalinar hurried over.

THIS EXCHANGE ADDS FIVE YEARS TO MY LIFESPAN, CLEARS MY SKIN, CURES MY ANXIETY, AND REPLENISHES MY BANK ACCOUNT WIT DRAGGING AMARAM IS EVERYTHING I LOVE IN THIS WORLD.

Also how he fucking precision-hits things that Amaram would be insecure about--his knowledge, where we know he thinks he knows fucking everything and has an inflated sense of his own importance, and his image, where Wit is basically like bitch I see you and I know you’re fake as hell. 

And then Dalinar runs over to do damage control because he can’t have Amaram getting too suspicious yet, I imagine. Throughout the whole conversation, Wit keeps dissing Amaram and I remain the most alive I have been in months. 

“I mean, I wouldn’t want to call Amaram an imbecile...because then I’d have to explain to him what the word means, and I’m not certain any of us have the requisite time.” 

I know it’s petty but I’m petty and thus I take great joy in all of this. 

“Lord Amaram,” Wit called, standing to bow, his voice growing solemn. “I salute you. You are what lesser cretins like Sadeas can only aspire to be.” 

That one still gets me because it’s not even a jibe or a joke. It’s just a statement of fact and you can tell that Wit is dead-serious with that. Amaram also is like “lmao Dalinar I understand your visions better than you! The Almighty isn’t actually dead!!111!! he’s talking in metaphors u dingus!!11!!!!!!” 

Shut the fuck up Amaram, you know jack shit about Honor, don’t talk like you know Honor better than Dalinar. That’s just fucking laughable. 

He also refers to Kaladin only as “the slave.” And says he’d like to hear an apology from Kaladin. “Not for my own ego” Bull. Shit. 

Fucking asshole. 

Also Navani bitchslaps Wit with a handful of papers, and is furious that they edited the papers to make it seem like Navani is ridiculing Dalinar. She’s also ready to eviscerate whoever did this. RIP whoever the fuck leaked this. 

“As I fear not a child with a weapon he cannot lift, I will never fear the mind of a man who does not think.” 

Yeah it’s from the Way of Kings but in context it’s a sick-ass burn. 

So Dalinar just stands on a fucking table and is like “yeah these are the visions I’ve been having, come at me, you already made me a spectacle so honestly fuck you guys for thinking i’d actually be upset by this bullshit.” 

“If you must laugh, do it while looking me in the eyes.” 

Fuck yeah you tell ‘em dad. 

Also, Dalinar notes that Adolin seems very fond of Shallan, and Dalinar wants to encourage that--as long as he can get actual answers out of Jah Keved about her family. Which he won’t be able to because Jah Keved is a fucking mess. 

Dalinar asks if Wit is a Herald--he’s amused, but says no, and also denies being a Radiant. And we get Wit’s chilling line-- “If I have to watch this world crumble and burn to get what I need, I will do so. With tears, yes, but I would let it happen.” 

Also Wit basically says that he has to stop Odium from finding him in order to not die, basically. I still wonder about that WOB that says that Hoid and Rayse were once friends. That seems...quite interesting. 

Over to Kaladin. He’s still having problems inhaling Stormlight--he’s killing Syl, and with her the Nahel bond that gives him his powers. Kaladin you dingus. Syl is acting like a windspren again. 

“You want too much of me,” he snapped at her as he reached the other side of the chasm. “I’m not some glorious knight of ancient days. I’m a broken man. Do you hear me, Syl? I’m broken.”  She zipped up to him and whispered, “That’s what they all were, silly.” 

Bridge Four is still bringing their bridge on this scouting expedition, because Kaladin is a paranoid fuck (for good reason). Rock says that it’s gotten lighter because they defeated Sadeas. Nobody else understands him. 

Also, Renarin is starting to fit in with Bridge Four and joke around with them--and also that he hasn’t summoned his shardblade since the fight. 

For good reason, although neither Kaladin nor Dalinar knows that. Also, this: 

“Sir,” Kaladin said. “If I may say so, your son seems like kind of a misfit. Out of place. Awkward, alone.”  Dalinar nodded.  “Then, I can say with confidence that Bridge Four is probably the best place he could find himself.” 

I LOVE KALADIN’S RAGTAG BAND OF WEIRD MISFITS AND THAT THEY’RE ACCEPTING RENARIN AS ONE OF THEM. 

Also Adolin is now just occasionally making casual conversation with Kaladin. Kaladin also realizes that he’s made two conflicting oaths, and that’s why his powers are going away and Syl is losing sentience. She tells him to find the words, and soon. 

Shallan is geeking out over the bridge. Kaladin notices that he recognizes one of the carpenters, and is confused by it. Moash has stopped coming over for stew nights as often. 

Ouch. 

Kaladin points out that the plains are the worst place for Szeth to attack them, because they have three hundred archers with them and he just sorta. Flies. in the air. 

Adolin asks Kaladin for girl advice. Kaladin is like. my dude. you are asking the wrong person. Too busy trying not to die to date really. Kaladin is just like dude just tell her you really want this relationship to work also why the fuck are you asking me this. 

Also Adolin trying to be nonchalant about getting information about Kaladin. 

“You won’t have a Shardblade, but won’t need one, because of...you know.”  “I know?” Kaladin felt a spike of alarm.  “Yeah...you know.” Adolin glanced away and shrugged, as if trying to act nonchalant. “That thing.”  “What thing?”  “That thing...with the...um, stuff?” 

Kaladin actually manages to smile at how shitty Adolin is at this and just says “I don’t think you have any idea what you’re talking about” which is completely true. 

Also the conversation about how Adolin would pay to see Kaladin happy. That conversation is still lowkey gay and nobody can convince me otherwise. 

Neither of them get why Shallan is so excited about stuff like moss. And bugs. Adolin is trying to make jokes. Badly. 

“You’re good at military thinking, for a bridgeboy,” Adolin said. “Coincidentally,” Kaladin said, “you’re good at not being unobnoxious, for a prince.”  “Thanks,” Adolin said. “That was an insult, dear,” Shallan said. 

God I love all of these losers. 

Anyway, Shallan and Kaladin aren’t getting along well at all. High time for a bonding friendship trip into the caverns!!!! Kaladin notices, just at the right moment, that the man he recognized with the carpenters was one of Sadeas’ lumbermen. Of course, everything happens at once, and the bridge collapses--and down go Kaladin and Shallan. 

And Syl uses the last of their bond to save Kaladin. And the Stormfather fucking yells at him for killing Syl. Both Shallan and Kaladin assume they subconsciously saved the other. 

And so they try to survive. And also not kill each other. Kaladin points out that Shallan is complicit in the class inequality--which she really is, I mean, look at the boots scene--and Shallan responds with something like “oh wow big surprise people with power are abusive” which makes sense given her background but also is not the right response. 

He also does directly use the boots scene as proof she is complicit, which she admits. He also does say she’s better than most of the others. 

Aaaand then their shouting match attracts a chasmfiend and they have to bolt. BRILLIANT, GUYS. 

Also Kaladin notices that Shallan is incredibly unwinded from all this running--wow, I wonder if she’s infusing stormlight on instinct (the answer is yes). Shallan also uses her abilities to hide them and goes to try to see the chasmfiend. Kaladin notes that they look “wrong” and “almost intelligent;” Shallan notes that the spren that follow them also follow skyeels. 

I just had a bad thought. If Parshendi change when the everstorm comes, could the chasmfiends change too? If so, what the FUCK do they turn into? 

I hope I’m wrong. 

Shallan also calls Kaladin “Kaladin Longlegs.” Also she tries to throw some chull jerky at him when he’s not looking and he just catches it. 

Listen, when these two become friends, they will be the Best Sassfriends. 

And yeah, they have a sass contest, which actually amuses both of them. They’re good at it. 

God, I hope they end up as friends instead of part of some unholy twisted love triangle scenario. I fucking hate love triangles and i feel like it would only serve to drive everyone involved apart--which is awful, because I like having two male leads (Adolin and Kaladin) who actually get along half of the fucking time, and robbing me of that is just not fair, Brandon. 

Another powerfully sad moment of miscommunication: 

“All right,” Kaladin said. “Here it is. I can imagine how the world must appear to someone like you. Growing up pampered, with everything you want. To someone like you, life is wonderful and sunny and worth laughing over. That’s not your fault, and I shouldn’t blame you. You haven’t had to deal with pain or death like I have. Sorrow is not your companion.”  Silence. Shallan didn’t reply. How could she reply to that?  “What?” Kaladin finally asked.  “I’m trying to decide how to react,” Shallan said. “You see, you just said something very, very funny.”  “Then why aren’t you laughing?”  “Well, it isn’t that kind of funny.” 

They both understand so little about each other. They are seeing what they expect to see and not what’s underneath--which is two deeply broken people trying to move forward with their lives as best they can. 

Bridge Four is trying to figure out how Kaladin could have survived--Sigzil is grilling Teft about what he knows about the Radiants. Dalinar is trying to convince them not to keep watch for Kaladin, but good fucking luck with that. They’re Bridge Four. They know their captain. Dalinar is just like. You guys make sure you’re actually eating, right? 

He’s such a Dad. 

Anyway, Shallan is making a map, and Kaladin realizes how incredible her skill with drawing and memory is. Also, Shallan is talking to Pattern--and Kaladin realizes it’s like him talking to Syl. 

And Kaladin says that in a dream, he saw that the chasms were symmetrical--and Shallan realizes she can figure out where the parshendi are, and where the oathgate is. 

Shallan tries to point out that Kaladin can’t blame himself about everything. Kaladin immediately proves her wrong. And there’s another heartbreaking moment, this time of connection. 

“Oh, all people understand pain,” Kaladin said. “That’s not what I’m talking about. It’s...”  “The sorrow,” Shallan said softly, “of watching a life crumble? Of struggling to grab it and hold on, but feeling hope become stringy sinew and blood beneath your fingers as everything collapses?”  “Yes.”  “The sensation--it’s not sorrow, but something deeper--of being broken. Of being crushed so often, and so hatefully, that emotion becomes something you can only wish for. If only you could cry, because then you’d feel something. Instead, you feel nothing. Just...haze and smoke inside. Like you’re already dead.” He stopped in the chasm. She turned and looked to him. “The crushing guilt,” She said, “of being powerless. Of wishing they’d hurt you instead of those around you. Of screaming and scrambling and hating as those you love are ruined, popped like a boil. And you have to watch their joy seeping away while you can’t do anything. They break the ones you love, and not you. And you plead. Can’t you just beat me instead?”  “Yes, he whispered. Shallan nodded, holding his eyes. “Yes. It would be nice if nobody knew of those things, Kaladin Stormblessed. I agree. With everything I have.” 

God, that section rips my heart out. Shallan represses it, Kaladin has PTSD (well, they both probably do) and they both just wish they could have helped other people. 

These are good kids. 

And immediately they just start joking with each other. Aaand then the puns happen. And then a chasmfiend happens, and they get chased into a fissure. Kaladin wants to go chase it off so that they both can live, and Shallan panics at the thought of being left alone. And so she gives him her shardblade. 

Kaladin is like what the fuck. 

Also, the blade--which is Pattern--actually glows a garnet color. That’s because it’s alive. Also, it doesn’t scream--which Kaladin attributes to him having lost his bond with Syl, but that’s not right. And Kaladin also assumes two things in one sentence: 

“At least this told him one thing--Shallan wasn’t likely to be a Surgebinder. Otherwise, he suspected she’d hate this Blade as much as he did.” 

First, she is a Surgebinder.

Second, she does hate that Blade. 

Anyway, working together--with Pattern, Shallan’s illusions,and Kaladin’s fighting prowess--they kill a Chasmfiend. Also Kaladin’s leg gets Fucked Up. 

Kaladin ends up half in a chasmfiend’s mouth and the first thing he says is fucking ow. 

Anyway, they use the Blade to cut out a cubbyhole to weather the storm in. Shallan is having to train her mind not to blank at the mention or thought of the Shardblade--and she also can make it shrink. 

That’s not normal. 

Anyway, as Kaladin climbs into the cubbyhole and the stormwall hits, we get a Shallan flashback. She’s wearing her father’s necklace and a nice Vorin-style dress, and reporting that nobody has been able to find Helaran. 

For some reason, their father summoned Eylita to their house. This has got to be it--this is when Shallan kills her father to save Balat. Shallan finds Malise’s dead body--Father found out about the plan, sent for Eylita, and then murdered his own wife as a punishment. 

Shallan pours wine as her brother and father fight each other. This says a lot about how utterly Shallan had managed to subsume herself in other personas--she is outwardly calm even with this, with having seen a dead body of her own stepmother, with her brother and father trying to kill each other. 

And she pours wine and gives it to him. He drinks it, and then reaches for the poker--and severely injures Balat by slamming against his leg as Shalan screams. 

And as the rain pounds outside, her father starts to lose control of his fine motor skills. Shallan is cold--it’s her when she’s at rock-bottom. When she lost her mother, now, when she kills Tyn--when Shallan is at rock-bottom she is a stone-cold killer. 

Which is good, because it keeps her brothers and herself alive. 

But the poison only paralyzed him, and so--Shallan asks her brothers to finish the job, but none of them can. Jushu and Wikim back up. Balat isn’t conscious. So Shallan strangles him with the necklace he gave her, while singing the lullaby that he sung to her. 

Fuck, this scene is chilling and horrible. Shallan had to do it--her father would have murdered them all, one day, and probably only avoided her because he knew that she had a Shardblade and was scared--but god, that’s so brutal. 

Back to Kaladin. He gets in the cavern as Shallan uses her sphere to pull him up; they both see what looks like a screaming face in the storm. Kaladin sees something that looks like a giant, inhuman form glowing in the storm, completely alien, striding in it. 

Cool.

Anyway, Kaladin tells her his story--everything, including Amaram. Why not? They were about to die anyway. And she tells him that she killed her father, and about her own breaking; Kaladin realizes how lucky he was that his family loved him. 

Shallan was not that lucky. 

And Kaladin also realizes that he must have killed Helaran, which hurts. Anyway, Kaladin has a vision of the Stormfather in the storm and gets chewed the fuck out for killing Syl. 

Back to Dalinar. Amaram is trying to get him to make an agreement with Sadeas of some sort. Bull fucking shit. Shut the fuck up, Amaram. And then they get the message that Kaladin came out of the chasms. 

Dalinar runs the entire way there. 

He’s such a good dad. 

Aaaand he finds it hard to get through because so much of Bridge Four is already there. They know their Captain. And Kaladin fucking brought back the gemheart as well, of course. 

“Yeah, we took care of that for you, sir.” fuckin hell Kaladin. 

Shallan lies and says it was already dead, Kaladin agrees, Dalinar notes that Kaladin is a shit liar. 

And Navani has warmed up to Shallan enough to run over to her and mother hen her hardcore. I don’t think she wanted to lose another young scholar. 

Anyway, Dalinar asks if Kaladin was what he was looking for, and Kaladin denies it--he says he might have been, but not now. Dalinar also notes that Kaladin is a hero again. 

Also wow, looks like Amaram just vanished, what a surprise, looks like he can’t stand the sight of a certain slave being a hero, huge surprise there, i’m shocked

Also Pattern eavesdropped on Dalinar and Navani and offers to reproduce the sound of them kissing and Shallan is like. You know what. no. no thanks pattern. maybe not. 

Also Adolin shows up and just hugs Shallan a lot, and then she kisses him. Nice. He also said that he would protect her and not let anything bad happen to her--which causes her to freeze up. 

Last person who did that was her father. Don’t try to hide her away, Adolin, she murdered the last man who did that. 

And Shallan also convinces them not to take the parshment with them, which was A Good Call because the parshendi are calling down the everstorm and all those parshmen would go stormform. 

Aaaand that ends Part Four!