#love me some thick rick™
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Ninnete’s Tectical
The new word was, that with any luck we might just stammer onto our
lovely back all and be blesseted. But that however, eventhough, wast too
much for Ninnete. She had just turned. And the nakedness of her hook
surprised even the people next to her. Without a thought she CHOKED a
burly greetin’ into the chill morn air. “Chill morn air”, she cried or sobbed,
“I love U”. Had she known that only hours earlier the air and the sun were
conspiring to her detriment it would have sounded more like, “Chill morn
heir, go and find thyself the darkest recesses of my crevice and reside
there within”. But she was very stu which lead to few discoveries of anby
real valued. While this was ahand, she went about her job basting coma
patients at St.Vegetarianus hospital in Warrington. She would smile and
say, “one day you’ll get up and leave this spotty place and forgest all
abowel me”. After applying a lemon sauce to them she would stand them
up and push them forward hoping they might tap into that hidden ability
to wake up and walk. After one too many of them tapped into their innate
ability to fall, she was fired. Dr. Lambtree who didn’t much mind followed
her propostering a nude ideal. They would start a hospital whose soul
purpose was to use Ninnete’s “walk or fall” therapy. The public greeted it
with open arms. It even inspired the latest hit by Nine Foot Tacs called
“Walk You F@#king Vegetable”. Dr Lambtree, whose first name was Not
Rick, was bespotted by love and asked for Ninette’s hand. She offered
him, instead, the hand of someone else who ran away screaming with
blood trailing behind him. He accepted. At once the two exchanged their
vows for some tiny glass statues. These as it turned out would have no later
significance in this story. It was the perfect life. They were young moist and
in love. One dave at Walk or Fall Hospice™ Ninnette was lemon basting a
patient when Dr. Not Rick came to her in tears. “Me poor awld mother ‘as
dawyd” he said in a thick southern accent. Ninette seized by compassion
and nausea offered to help. She went to the mortuary and begat to baste
Mrs. Lambtree with her lemon sauce. She took special pains to make sure
that she had followed the recipe correctly. She added one special
ingredient and to her supplies it worked. Mrs. Lambtree rose up off the
table and said, “I am alive and I love you”. With tears in her eyes Ninette,
gently, took a knife and plunged it into Mrs. Lambtree. “I’m no dyke for the
likes of you”, she said and she wasn’t.
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