#love and light to everybody discoursing on this website about whether hip flexor jokes are homophobic but i'd KILL

[thegeminisage]

i didn’t type this story down last night so i have to do it now before i forget

so last night i had to pick up groceries from walmart, and we don’t actually have a walmart in our town it’s one town over, and anyway since the pandemic i don’t drive much anymore because the only place i go is to clean my houses (in town) or to move furniture (technically not in town but also very close). and both of those places i usually drive with other people in the car. so when i’m driving by myself ALL THE WAY TO LAURENS is when i am at my most impulsive, because i love to drive at night and be in the car by myself and not get backseat drivers and listen to whatever shitty music i want at a volume that will probably damage my hearing. which is why when i had nine dollars in my pocket and a sudden craving for mcdonalds french fries i was like sure i’m gonna do that i’ve been almost two fucking weeks without a drop of caffeine thats the longest i’ve gone w/o in years i deserve a reward

so the mcdonalds is RIGHT on my way home like i have to pass it so i just swing in there no problem and it’s fucking deserted so i’m like yo can i have some fries and they’re like no sorry we can only take cards right now and im like WHAT im totally heartbroken because i have been thinking about mcdonalds french fries for like twenty minutes. and so i leave and im like well we just so happen to be an interstate town the interstate is literally the only reason there’s even a town HERE which MEANS i could drive out to the highway and buy french fries at the trucker mcdonalds. am i the kind of person who, with cold groceries in my trunk that have already been there for half an hour, will drive down to the highway mcdonalds just for french fries?

as it turns out i am, and so i drove down there and i ordered my french fries and they were happy to take my cash but they had me pull up and WAIT because the fries were still cooking. and i was fine with that bc hello super fresh french fries. god is rewarding me for my patience and serenity during these trying times. and so i’m sitting in my van when the lady knocks on the window with my fries and i’m like oh shit! and scramble to get my mask on so i can take the bag and she’s like those masks are a pain, huh? and i’m like haha yeah and she goes but i like yours tho!

and I’M WEARING! THE GAY MASK! she liked my GAY MASK!!! 

this is the SECOND time this has happened to me because of the mask specifically and GOD i was so thrilled that was even better than fresh mcdonalds french fries it was ABSOLUTELY worth driving out to the trucker mcdonalds <3