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notoriousnewnew · 7 years ago

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Talking to myself At this point, she's given up on relationships. Maybe not forever, but for awhile. She's been trying to find love for so long, but what she actually found was she wasn't ready for love and she doesn't know when she will be ready again. It's not that she's scared of commitment, she's just scared of wasting more time being loyal to someone who isn't worth it. It's not that she's afraid of trust, she's just afraid of investing herself in someone who can't be honest with her. It's not that she's frightened of attachment, she's just frightened of getting so close to someone that she won't be able to leave if she needs to. While she's been hurt by a lot of people, she knows it's also her fault for not being able to be alone, it's her fault for catching feelings so easily, and it's her fault for not properly giving herself time to process everything she's been thru. She just figured it's time to give her heart a break. She would rather be single and lonely than to be miserable with someone who's supposed to make her happy. She would rather wait until something real comes along than to get back with someone who always makes her feel like something's wrong with her. She would rather find herself in the meantime than to find herself in another mistake. So if you're a guy who wants to be with her right now, sorry but she's closed off. She'd rather be heartless than heartbroken. You gotta understand the difference between a man who speaks to you on his free time and a man who frees his time to speak to you. You gotta understand the difference between a man who spends his time with you when he's not too busy and a man who's never too busy to spend time with you. You gotta understand the difference between a man who wants to see you because he misses you and a man who misses you enough to go actually see you. You gotta understand the difference between a man who tries to make an effort and a man who makes an effort to try. You gotta understand the difference between a man who talks to a lot of girls including you and a man who only talks to you instead of a lot of girls. You gotta understand the difference between a man who gets mad because you ask for too much and a man who gets mad because he wishes he can give you more. You gotta understand the difference between a man who loves to hurt you and a man who gets hurt because he loves you. And once you understand the difference, you'll know if you're with the right guy or not. A girl can only be mistreated for so long until she's finally had enough. Sure, if a girl loves you, she'll tolerate your bullshit because she cares about you but even a girl in love has a limit to how much she can take. Sure, if a girl loves you, she wouldn't give up on you no matter how bad it is but there's a difference between giving up and not being able to take it anymore. Sure, if a girl loves you, she'll forgive you for your mistakes no matter how many times you make the same time but eventually, a girl runs out of chances to give. Sure, if a girl loves you, she would want to work things out with you to fix things instead of leaving you and cutting off all ties between you two but once a girl's been treated like shit long enough, she begins to accept what she didn't want to in the first place; that you aren't good for her and maybe it really would be best if she leaves because you truly don't deserve her. ( Gabriel You know that I love you right? you can feel it right? I just want to make sure that you do, I hope it's obvious. I want to make you happy like always literally always. I'm so proud of you, with the things you can do, with the achievements, your humbleness, the genuine passion you have for your profession, I hope I won't mess it, I'll endure everything just for me not to mess anything about your image. I want to be there when you're sad, I want you to know that you're not alone, that I am here though sometimes I am away, but as much as possible I want you to feel that I am here for you, maybe not physically, but I swear you can always count on me. I can be your best friend when you need one, I'll be your crying shoulders when everything feels like too much. I'll hug you when you're feeling down. and at the end of each day, I'll do my best to turn things around from tears to laughter, from frown to smile and giggles. I love you and I always will. one thing I realized now, it's easier to show love to someone who appreciates the things that you do even the little efforts that you make, it's easier to break walls when you know that someone you love needs you because they love you as much as you do, or maybe even more than you do. and even when things get tough, I will still choose to love you. It is so fascinating how love can bring out the sweetest kid inside of person inside of me. I love you and I'm so happy that I met you, that you liked me, that you find me cool, if it wasn't because of that we won't start talking with each other. I'm so happy that I felt that spark. I'm so happy that I found the courage to fall in love, to be in a relationship again, to take risk. I'm so happy to have you in my life, and this happiness is one of the reasons why I want to keep you forever. I love you dearest.) You're lucky she still even cares. Most girls would have been like "Fuck this, I don't deserve this, I could do so much better, I don't have time for this, I'm done, I need to move on" and left you a long time ago. But nope, not her. Why? Because she's able to look past all of your flaws and faults and see the good in you. Because she's able to forgive you, drop everything, and move forward. Because she's able to not let the bad outweigh the good and remain positive for the relationship. You have no idea how much strength it takes for a girl to do those things for a guy, but you would be surprised. You would be surprised how many times a girl would have to put her own pride aside just so she can let things go. You would be surprised how many times a girl would have to bite her tongue just so she say something that would hurt your feelings. You would be surprised how many times her heart would be broken and yet, she still finds it in herself to look you in the eye and say "I love you, babe. Be happy you got your heart broken. That means you're the one who truly cared. That means you're the one who really tried. That means you're the one who deeply loved. It shows you that you're capable of caring about someone. It shows you that you're willing to open up and be vulnerable with someone. It shows you that you're strong enough to drop your pride for someone. To have your heart broken is to have proven that your intentions were genuine, your feelings were real, and your efforts were made. Having your heart broken can be the worst feeling, but it can also be the most gratifying feeling because your heart never comes back together the same way. When the time comes when it's ready to come back together, it comes back better than it was before because now it knows it deserves better and it's been reminded of its worth and how it's supposed to be valued. Don't let having your heart broken make you bitter when it's meant to help you grow and find yourself again. There are some people out there who can't even have their hearts broken because not only are they unable to love someone else, they're also unable to love themselves and will settle for something temporary and meaningless to be happy to an extent. Only the heartbroken can love, so be thankful that you know how to. You're the one who hurt her, and you're acting like she hurt you. You're the one who lied to her, and you're blaming her for her trust issues. You're the one who talks to other girls behind her back, and you're getting mad when she talks to her guy friends. You're the one who doesn't give her enough attention, and you're getting upset when she doesn't text you back fast enough. You're the one who doesn't make any time for her, and you trippin' when things get busy for her. You're the one who's always making mistakes, and you're saying she loves to pick fights with you. You're the one who doesn't understand her, and you're making her feel like she's crazy for feeling the way she does. You're the one who mistreats her, and you're playing the victim claiming she isn't good to you. You're the one who makes her miserable, and you're making it seem like you're unhappy because of her. You're the one who doesn't put any effort in, and you're coming off like she isn't trying her hardest. You're the one who doesn't love her, and you believe that she's the one who doesn't care. Forgive him. I know you hate him. I know you despise him. I know you can't stand the sight of him. I even know seeing his name makes you angry. Yes, you have every right to feel that towards him. He hurt you over and over, even when you've given him chance after chance. You could even say you're entitled to feel so much hatred towards him and nobody would blame you. But just think about it; what has hating him done for you? Sure, it's kept you more guarded against people. Sure, it's made you more aware of peoples' bad intentions with you. Sure, it's caused you to not trust anybody and therefore, not leaving yourself vulnerable for anybody. But hating him has also caused you to push people away. Hating him has also stopped you from being able to see potential in people who actually want to be with you. Hating him has caused you to be bitter, which led to you emotionally shutting yourself down, which led to you not caring if you hurt people in the process or not, which led to you being unable to love anyone, including yourself. Do you really want to feel this way forever? Are you sure you want to carry this with you for the rest of your life? Would you actually be willing to make the next guy pay for the last guys' mistakes? That wouldn't be fair to him or for you because how could you ever find happiness when you're the one preventing yourself from finding it? Deep down, I know you miss being loved and you even miss loving someone. Deep down, I know you're afraid to give as much of yourself to someone as you did to the last guy again. Deep down, I know you're even having trouble putting the wall you've put up down. But, you just have to let it go. Not just him, but that part of your life. I know that relationship with him took a huge toll on you and it's left you damaged, but it isn't too late for you to put yourself back together and there's also nothing wrong with having someone help you. You just have to start by forgiving him because that is the only way you'll ever move on to the next chapter of your life. Come back to being happy again because we all miss that girl. One day, if she ever does actually give up on you, just know that it took everything in her to do that. She's the type of girl who would give you endless chances, try to trust you even after it's been broken time and time again, always have your back even when you're wrong, and accept you for who you truly are even with your many flaws. She's the type of girl who would be there for you when everyone else thinks you're hopeless, be there for you when the rest of the world turns their back on you, and be there for you even when she shouldn't be. She's the type of girl who would fight for you when you don't deserve to be fought for, hold on to you when she should've let you go a long time ago, and love you when she has every reason to hate you. So if she finally reaches that point where she gives up on you, just realize how much it took for her to get to that point and how hard she had to push herself to be strong enough to give up on you because when a girl loves you, giving up is never an option, but at the same time, a girl can only allow herself to get hurt so many times until she's had enough. Her brain tells her 'Leave him. He isn't good for you. Why are you still here? He isn't going to change. You guys argue too much. You did everything you could to make him happy. You're not the wrong one here. It isn't the same as it used to be. You deserve better than this. You deserve to be happy. You can't let him hurt you anymore. Be strong. Leave.' But, her heart tells her 'We've been through too much to give up now. I'm too attached. We have too much history. I know I should leave, but I can't. I won't allow myself too. I love him too much now. Yeah, it's different now, but maybe if he sees me being good to him, he'll start being the way he was before again. & we can bring back the good times. I can't imagine him with another girl, it hurts to even think about it. I don't want to be with any other guy but him. Guess I'm stuck with him.' Honestly, girls get judged in a bad way for every little thing they do. Like if a girl wants to get high, let her be. You don't think girls that smoke are attractive? They're not smoking to look cute for you, they do it to relief stress and take their mind off of things. If a girl wants to drink, let her be. You don't like it when girls get sloppy when they're drunk? They're not drinking to be conservative for you, they do it to let loose and put themselves in a good mood. You don't like it when girls put on too much make up? They're not putting on make up to please you, they do it to deal with their insecurities and just to have fun. It's her life, her choices, whether you think it's right or wrong, let her learn on her own and stop when she wants to. You can't hurt a girl who's already damaged. So if a guy were to fuck her over, there's no need for her to cry. There's no need for her to be disappointed. There's no need for her to feel heartbroken because it's gotten so bad to the point where getting fucked up over becomes an expectation. She used to be able to tolerate mistakes but now, if a guy will talk to another girl or get caught in a lie, she'll cut you off and you'll never hear from her again. Because now there's no room for mistakes and she ain't got time for games. You either be real or be gone. Just be honest with her, cause the worst thing you can do is lie to her. Even if it'll hurt her, tell the truth about everything. There's no such thing as being 'too honest', because the truth might hurt, but a lie would hurt way more. I know you might feel the need to lie so she won't get hurt, but don't. All she can really ask from you is to be straight up & real with her. If you're talking to another girl, okay, she'll get a little jealous, but she'll get over it. If you're talking to your ex, okay, she'll be a little uncomfortable with it, but she'll brush it off. If you're chillin' with other girls, okay, she'll be a little upset, but she won't be mad at you forever. If you caught feelings for another girl, okay, she'll cry for a little, but she'll learn to accept it. At least she'll respect you for being man enough to tell her, but if you're gonna lie about any of these things, eventually, she'll find out, & there goes her respect, her trust, maybe even her love. Lie to a girl once and she'll start to think everything else you've ever told her was a lie. She'll start to not be able to see the difference between what's true and not. She'll start to question from now on if you're being sincere with her or you're just being a bullshit. She'll start to doubt anything you say to her unless you can convince her or prove to her that it's the truth because if you can't, she simply won't believe. Oh and don't tell her, 'I lied because I didn't want to hurt you', because you lied just to save your own ass from getting in trouble. See, when you break a girl's heart, she'll still be able to love you but when you break a girl's trust, that's gone forever. After a girl gets out of a toxic relationship, she's single for a long time. At first, it's lonely. In the beginning, it's hard. For a little awhile, it even hurts. But after a certain amount of time, she embraces being single and finds it empowering knowing that she doesn't need a man to be happy. But once a girl gets comfortable with being single, it's hard for her to be mentally attracted to anyone. Once a girl gets familiar with being on her own, it's hard for her to be emotionally connected to anyone. Once a girl gets used to taking caring of herself, it's hard for her to be dependent on anyone. The reason behind that is, she's not trying to go back to that dark place she was in before, she's not trying to waste her time on a guy who's gonna turn out to be undeserving, and she's not trying to end up with the wrong one. She's spent a lot of time detoxifying herself and finding herself again and the last thing she needs is for another toxic guy to come along and cause her to lose herself again. So yeah, it may require extra attention, it may require extra effort, and it may require extra time but if you somehow manage to get her to not want to be single anymore, then you're gonna get a girl who's whole again, who's secure enough, and who's ready to love and be loved again. She can get over being mad at you, but she'll remain disappointed to herself. She can get over you talking to another girl, but she'll remain jealous to herself. She can get over arguing with you, but she'll remain stubborn to herself. She can get over finding something out that's bad about you, but she'll remain curious to herself. She can get over waiting a long time for you, but she'll remain impatient to herself. She can get over not talking to you, but she'll remain clingy to herself. She can get over you not seeing you, but she'll remain lonely to herself. She can get over you, but she'll remain heart broken to herself. Some girls are just really good at holding on to things, so just because she's smiling, doesn't exactly mean she's happy. If you treat your girl wrong, who else is she gonna turn to? The nearest and closest guy friend she has. He'll make her laugh since you made her cry, he'll give her comfort since you made her feel lonely, he'll pay attention to her since you ignore her, he'll tell her she's beautiful since you made her feel ugly. What do you think is gonna happen next? He's gonna tell her she deserves better and you know what? She's going to start believing it. A girl can only take so much and wait around so long for things to get better, but if they don't, she'll eventually feel like it isn't worth trying anymore and guess who she's gonna start talking to after she figures out she's done with you? The same guy friend who's doing all the things you're no longer doing for her. No, he's not busy. No, his phone didn't die. No, he didn't forget to text you back. No, it's not that he hasn't been on his phone. No, it's not that he doesn't have service. If you're not hearing from him, that's because he has nothing to say to you. If you're not hearing from him, that's because he isn't thinking about you. If you're not hearing from him, that's because he doesn't miss you. No, it's not because he "sucks at texting back" and it's not because he doesn't call you back in 5 minutes like he says he would, but it's simply because he doesn't want to. No, it's not because he isn't receiving your texts and tells you "I never got it" when it clearly says "Delivered" right after you pressed send, but it's simply because he purposely ignores your messages and leaves you on Read or Seen. If he's not talking to you but he's able to be active on social media, that should be enough to show you that he doesn't prioritize you the way you prioritize him. Stop trying to convince yourself that you'll eventually hear from him. Stop trying to make yourself believe that there's a good reason as to why he isn't talking to you. Stop trying to force yourself to wait until he decides to make time for you. If he can't even do the little things like say good morning, ask you how your day is going, tell you about his day, and say good night to you so that you don't go to bed feeling unimportant, you need to let him go because what you deserve is consistency. He hurt you once, he'll do it again. You're denying it but he will. He disrespected you once, or cheated on you, and he'll do it again. Stop denying it. You deserve to be treated like a princess but here you are letting him take you for granted. You're gonna tell me he apologized and sounded so sweet and sincere. However, we always said actions speak louder than words and now you're thinking the other way around. Because you want everything to be better than it is, you don't want to believe he's been acting like an asshole. You don't want to accept the fact that he has power and that he is going to hurt you again. You're not his doll he can't come back whenever he wants just because he knows the door will always open. You want to believe he cares about you as much as you do. But it's not true. Don't let him do it again. Don't let him hurt you. Don't let him apologize, tell you a few words cause he'll do the same thing again. Or maybe even worse. They're so good at this so be better. You deserve someone who knows your worth and he probably doesn't. If he was capable of hurting you once you should know by now that he is not worth it at all. Second chances shouldn't be given to people who don't respect others. Don't be a fool. You are scared; you don't know how life is going to be when you leave him. It is going to be hard the first two weeks, or months just like when you quit smoking. Habits are hard to quit. He was yours. But then it gets easier. It gets better. It always does, doesn't it? You'll crave him just like you crave cigarettes the first few days but then you just get used to it. Everything gets better with time. Don't let him fool you. Don't let him do it again. Close the damn door.

AngeliqueOrtizM199911

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notoriousnewnew · 7 years ago

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Talking to myself

At this point, she's given up on relationships. Maybe not forever, but for awhile. She's been trying to find love for so long, but what she actually found was she wasn't ready for love and she doesn't know when she will be ready again. It's not that she's scared of commitment, she's just scared of wasting more time being loyal to someone who isn't worth it. It's not that she's afraid of trust, she's just afraid of investing herself in someone who can't be honest with her. It's not that she's frightened of attachment, she's just frightened of getting so close to someone that she won't be able to leave if she needs to. While she's been hurt by a lot of people, she knows it's also her fault for not being able to be alone, it's her fault for catching feelings so easily, and it's her fault for not properly giving herself time to process everything she's been thru. She just figured it's time to give her heart a break. She would rather be single and lonely than to be miserable with someone who's supposed to make her happy. She would rather wait until something real comes along than to get back with someone who always makes her feel like something's wrong with her. She would rather find herself in the meantime than to find herself in another mistake. So if you're a guy who wants to be with her right now, sorry but she's closed off. She'd rather be heartless than heartbroken. You gotta understand the difference between a man who speaks to you on his free time and a man who frees his time to speak to you. You gotta understand the difference between a man who spends his time with you when he's not too busy and a man who's never too busy to spend time with you. You gotta understand the difference between a man who wants to see you because he misses you and a man who misses you enough to go actually see you. You gotta understand the difference between a man who tries to make an effort and a man who makes an effort to try. You gotta understand the difference between a man who talks to a lot of girls including you and a man who only talks to you instead of a lot of girls. You gotta understand the difference between a man who gets mad because you ask for too much and a man who gets mad because he wishes he can give you more. You gotta understand the difference between a man who loves to hurt you and a man who gets hurt because he loves you. And once you understand the difference, you'll know if you're with the right guy or not. A girl can only be mistreated for so long until she's finally had enough. Sure, if a girl loves you, she'll tolerate your bullshit because she cares about you but even a girl in love has a limit to how much she can take. Sure, if a girl loves you, she wouldn't give up on you no matter how bad it is but there's a difference between giving up and not being able to take it anymore. Sure, if a girl loves you, she'll forgive you for your mistakes no matter how many times you make the same time but eventually, a girl runs out of chances to give. Sure, if a girl loves you, she would want to work things out with you to fix things instead of leaving you and cutting off all ties between you two but once a girl's been treated like shit long enough, she begins to accept what she didn't want to in the first place; that you aren't good for her and maybe it really would be best if she leaves because you truly don't deserve her. ( Gabriel You know that I love you right? you can feel it right? I just want to make sure that you do, I hope it's obvious. I want to make you happy like always literally always. I'm so proud of you, with the things you can do, with the achievements, your humbleness, the genuine passion you have for your profession, I hope I won't mess it, I'll endure everything just for me not to mess anything about your image. I want to be there when you're sad, I want you to know that you're not alone, that I am here though sometimes I am away, but as much as possible I want you to feel that I am here for you, maybe not physically, but I swear you can always count on me. I can be your best friend when you need one, I'll be your crying shoulders when everything feels like too much. I'll hug you when you're feeling down. and at the end of each day, I'll do my best to turn things around from tears to laughter, from frown to smile and giggles. I love you and I always will. one thing I realized now, it's easier to show love to someone who appreciates the things that you do even the little efforts that you make, it's easier to break walls when you know that someone you love needs you because they love you as much as you do, or maybe even more than you do. and even when things get tough, I will still choose to love you. It is so fascinating how love can bring out the sweetest kid inside of person inside of me. I love you and I'm so happy that I met you, that you liked me, that you find me cool, if it wasn't because of that we won't start talking with each other. I'm so happy that I felt that spark. I'm so happy that I found the courage to fall in love, to be in a relationship again, to take risk. I'm so happy to have you in my life, and this happiness is one of the reasons why I want to keep you forever. I love you dearest.) You're lucky she still even cares. Most girls would have been like "Fuck this, I don't deserve this, I could do so much better, I don't have time for this, I'm done, I need to move on" and left you a long time ago. But nope, not her. Why? Because she's able to look past all of your flaws and faults and see the good in you. Because she's able to forgive you, drop everything, and move forward. Because she's able to not let the bad outweigh the good and remain positive for the relationship. You have no idea how much strength it takes for a girl to do those things for a guy, but you would be surprised. You would be surprised how many times a girl would have to put her own pride aside just so she can let things go. You would be surprised how many times a girl would have to bite her tongue just so she say something that would hurt your feelings. You would be surprised how many times her heart would be broken and yet, she still finds it in herself to look you in the eye and say "I love you, babe. Be happy you got your heart broken. That means you're the one who truly cared. That means you're the one who really tried. That means you're the one who deeply loved. It shows you that you're capable of caring about someone. It shows you that you're willing to open up and be vulnerable with someone. It shows you that you're strong enough to drop your pride for someone. To have your heart broken is to have proven that your intentions were genuine, your feelings were real, and your efforts were made. Having your heart broken can be the worst feeling, but it can also be the most gratifying feeling because your heart never comes back together the same way. When the time comes when it's ready to come back together, it comes back better than it was before because now it knows it deserves better and it's been reminded of its worth and how it's supposed to be valued. Don't let having your heart broken make you bitter when it's meant to help you grow and find yourself again. There are some people out there who can't even have their hearts broken because not only are they unable to love someone else, they're also unable to love themselves and will settle for something temporary and meaningless to be happy to an extent. Only the heartbroken can love, so be thankful that you know how to. You're the one who hurt her, and you're acting like she hurt you. You're the one who lied to her, and you're blaming her for her trust issues. You're the one who talks to other girls behind her back, and you're getting mad when she talks to her guy friends. You're the one who doesn't give her enough attention, and you're getting upset when she doesn't text you back fast enough. You're the one who doesn't make any time for her, and you trippin' when things get busy for her. You're the one who's always making mistakes, and you're saying she loves to pick fights with you. You're the one who doesn't understand her, and you're making her feel like she's crazy for feeling the way she does. You're the one who mistreats her, and you're playing the victim claiming she isn't good to you. You're the one who makes her miserable, and you're making it seem like you're unhappy because of her. You're the one who doesn't put any effort in, and you're coming off like she isn't trying her hardest. You're the one who doesn't love her, and you believe that she's the one who doesn't care. Forgive him. I know you hate him. I know you despise him. I know you can't stand the sight of him. I even know seeing his name makes you angry. Yes, you have every right to feel that towards him. He hurt you over and over, even when you've given him chance after chance. You could even say you're entitled to feel so much hatred towards him and nobody would blame you. But just think about it; what has hating him done for you? Sure, it's kept you more guarded against people. Sure, it's made you more aware of peoples' bad intentions with you. Sure, it's caused you to not trust anybody and therefore, not leaving yourself vulnerable for anybody. But hating him has also caused you to push people away. Hating him has also stopped you from being able to see potential in people who actually want to be with you. Hating him has caused you to be bitter, which led to you emotionally shutting yourself down, which led to you not caring if you hurt people in the process or not, which led to you being unable to love anyone, including yourself. Do you really want to feel this way forever? Are you sure you want to carry this with you for the rest of your life? Would you actually be willing to make the next guy pay for the last guys' mistakes? That wouldn't be fair to him or for you because how could you ever find happiness when you're the one preventing yourself from finding it? Deep down, I know you miss being loved and you even miss loving someone. Deep down, I know you're afraid to give as much of yourself to someone as you did to the last guy again. Deep down, I know you're even having trouble putting the wall you've put up down. But, you just have to let it go. Not just him, but that part of your life. I know that relationship with him took a huge toll on you and it's left you damaged, but it isn't too late for you to put yourself back together and there's also nothing wrong with having someone help you. You just have to start by forgiving him because that is the only way you'll ever move on to the next chapter of your life. Come back to being happy again because we all miss that girl. One day, if she ever does actually give up on you, just know that it took everything in her to do that. She's the type of girl who would give you endless chances, try to trust you even after it's been broken time and time again, always have your back even when you're wrong, and accept you for who you truly are even with your many flaws. She's the type of girl who would be there for you when everyone else thinks you're hopeless, be there for you when the rest of the world turns their back on you, and be there for you even when she shouldn't be. She's the type of girl who would fight for you when you don't deserve to be fought for, hold on to you when she should've let you go a long time ago, and love you when she has every reason to hate you. So if she finally reaches that point where she gives up on you, just realize how much it took for her to get to that point and how hard she had to push herself to be strong enough to give up on you because when a girl loves you, giving up is never an option, but at the same time, a girl can only allow herself to get hurt so many times until she's had enough. Her brain tells her 'Leave him. He isn't good for you. Why are you still here? He isn't going to change. You guys argue too much. You did everything you could to make him happy. You're not the wrong one here. It isn't the same as it used to be. You deserve better than this. You deserve to be happy. You can't let him hurt you anymore. Be strong. Leave.' But, her heart tells her 'We've been through too much to give up now. I'm too attached. We have too much history. I know I should leave, but I can't. I won't allow myself too. I love him too much now. Yeah, it's different now, but maybe if he sees me being good to him, he'll start being the way he was before again. & we can bring back the good times. I can't imagine him with another girl, it hurts to even think about it. I don't want to be with any other guy but him. Guess I'm stuck with him.' Honestly, girls get judged in a bad way for every little thing they do. Like if a girl wants to get high, let her be. You don't think girls that smoke are attractive? They're not smoking to look cute for you, they do it to relief stress and take their mind off of things. If a girl wants to drink, let her be. You don't like it when girls get sloppy when they're drunk? They're not drinking to be conservative for you, they do it to let loose and put themselves in a good mood. You don't like it when girls put on too much make up? They're not putting on make up to please you, they do it to deal with their insecurities and just to have fun. It's her life, her choices, whether you think it's right or wrong, let her learn on her own and stop when she wants to. You can't hurt a girl who's already damaged. So if a guy were to fuck her over, there's no need for her to cry. There's no need for her to be disappointed. There's no need for her to feel heartbroken because it's gotten so bad to the point where getting fucked up over becomes an expectation. She used to be able to tolerate mistakes but now, if a guy will talk to another girl or get caught in a lie, she'll cut you off and you'll never hear from her again. Because now there's no room for mistakes and she ain't got time for games. You either be real or be gone. Just be honest with her, cause the worst thing you can do is lie to her. Even if it'll hurt her, tell the truth about everything. There's no such thing as being 'too honest', because the truth might hurt, but a lie would hurt way more. I know you might feel the need to lie so she won't get hurt, but don't. All she can really ask from you is to be straight up & real with her. If you're talking to another girl, okay, she'll get a little jealous, but she'll get over it. If you're talking to your ex, okay, she'll be a little uncomfortable with it, but she'll brush it off. If you're chillin' with other girls, okay, she'll be a little upset, but she won't be mad at you forever. If you caught feelings for another girl, okay, she'll cry for a little, but she'll learn to accept it. At least she'll respect you for being man enough to tell her, but if you're gonna lie about any of these things, eventually, she'll find out, & there goes her respect, her trust, maybe even her love. Lie to a girl once and she'll start to think everything else you've ever told her was a lie. She'll start to not be able to see the difference between what's true and not. She'll start to question from now on if you're being sincere with her or you're just being a bullshit. She'll start to doubt anything you say to her unless you can convince her or prove to her that it's the truth because if you can't, she simply won't believe. Oh and don't tell her, 'I lied because I didn't want to hurt you', because you lied just to save your own ass from getting in trouble. See, when you break a girl's heart, she'll still be able to love you but when you break a girl's trust, that's gone forever. After a girl gets out of a toxic relationship, she's single for a long time. At first, it's lonely. In the beginning, it's hard. For a little awhile, it even hurts. But after a certain amount of time, she embraces being single and finds it empowering knowing that she doesn't need a man to be happy. But once a girl gets comfortable with being single, it's hard for her to be mentally attracted to anyone. Once a girl gets familiar with being on her own, it's hard for her to be emotionally connected to anyone. Once a girl gets used to taking caring of herself, it's hard for her to be dependent on anyone. The reason behind that is, she's not trying to go back to that dark place she was in before, she's not trying to waste her time on a guy who's gonna turn out to be undeserving, and she's not trying to end up with the wrong one. She's spent a lot of time detoxifying herself and finding herself again and the last thing she needs is for another toxic guy to come along and cause her to lose herself again. So yeah, it may require extra attention, it may require extra effort, and it may require extra time but if you somehow manage to get her to not want to be single anymore, then you're gonna get a girl who's whole again, who's secure enough, and who's ready to love and be loved again. She can get over being mad at you, but she'll remain disappointed to herself. She can get over you talking to another girl, but she'll remain jealous to herself. She can get over arguing with you, but she'll remain stubborn to herself. She can get over finding something out that's bad about you, but she'll remain curious to herself. She can get over waiting a long time for you, but she'll remain impatient to herself. She can get over not talking to you, but she'll remain clingy to herself. She can get over you not seeing you, but she'll remain lonely to herself. She can get over you, but she'll remain heart broken to herself. Some girls are just really good at holding on to things, so just because she's smiling, doesn't exactly mean she's happy. If you treat your girl wrong, who else is she gonna turn to? The nearest and closest guy friend she has. He'll make her laugh since you made her cry, he'll give her comfort since you made her feel lonely, he'll pay attention to her since you ignore her, he'll tell her she's beautiful since you made her feel ugly. What do you think is gonna happen next? He's gonna tell her she deserves better and you know what? She's going to start believing it. A girl can only take so much and wait around so long for things to get better, but if they don't, she'll eventually feel like it isn't worth trying anymore and guess who she's gonna start talking to after she figures out she's done with you? The same guy friend who's doing all the things you're no longer doing for her. No, he's not busy. No, his phone didn't die. No, he didn't forget to text you back. No, it's not that he hasn't been on his phone. No, it's not that he doesn't have service. If you're not hearing from him, that's because he has nothing to say to you. If you're not hearing from him, that's because he isn't thinking about you. If you're not hearing from him, that's because he doesn't miss you. No, it's not because he "sucks at texting back" and it's not because he doesn't call you back in 5 minutes like he says he would, but it's simply because he doesn't want to. No, it's not because he isn't receiving your texts and tells you "I never got it" when it clearly says "Delivered" right after you pressed send, but it's simply because he purposely ignores your messages and leaves you on Read or Seen. If he's not talking to you but he's able to be active on social media, that should be enough to show you that he doesn't prioritize you the way you prioritize him. Stop trying to convince yourself that you'll eventually hear from him. Stop trying to make yourself believe that there's a good reason as to why he isn't talking to you. Stop trying to force yourself to wait until he decides to make time for you. If he can't even do the little things like say good morning, ask you how your day is going, tell you about his day, and say good night to you so that you don't go to bed feeling unimportant, you need to let him go because what you deserve is consistency. He hurt you once, he'll do it again. You're denying it but he will. He disrespected you once, or cheated on you, and he'll do it again. Stop denying it. You deserve to be treated like a princess but here you are letting him take you for granted. You're gonna tell me he apologized and sounded so sweet and sincere. However, we always said actions speak louder than words and now you're thinking the other way around. Because you want everything to be better than it is, you don't want to believe he's been acting like an asshole. You don't want to accept the fact that he has power and that he is going to hurt you again. You're not his doll he can't come back whenever he wants just because he knows the door will always open. You want to believe he cares about you as much as you do. But it's not true. Don't let him do it again. Don't let him hurt you. Don't let him apologize, tell you a few words cause he'll do the same thing again. Or maybe even worse. They're so good at this so be better. You deserve someone who knows your worth and he probably doesn't. If he was capable of hurting you once you should know by now that he is not worth it at all. Second chances shouldn't be given to people who don't respect others. Don't be a fool. You are scared; you don't know how life is going to be when you leave him. It is going to be hard the first two weeks, or months just like when you quit smoking. Habits are hard to quit. He was yours. But then it gets easier. It gets better. It always does, doesn't it? You'll crave him just like you crave cigarettes the first few days but then you just get used to it. Everything gets better with time. Don't let him fool you. Don't let him do it again. Close the damn door.

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