#looking hopeful about a new job so i've been preparing for that atm | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

uncloseted · 5 years ago

Note

i don't know what i'm going to do with my life, i feel like my life is a car making it's way to a dead end. i've never been to school so i don't have any qualifications to be able to work a normal job and my family can't afford to help me get a high school diploma. my mum lost her job so my uncle is the only working member in our house, he's turning 50 in a two weeks and it scares me more than it scares him. he can't keep working forever and i can tell that he doesn't enjoy it. (1)

the older i get the more i realise that the likelihood of me achieving my dreams is incredibly low. i've looked up menial jobs but all of them require a year 9 certificate, i don't even have that. next year i'll be legally responsible for my own shit because i turn 18 in may which isn't far away and i'm freaking out because i know that if god-forbid anything happened to my uncle we'd end up homeless and that petrifies me beyond words. i know its a bit "woe is me" to think like that but i (2) can't help but worry. i sit at home all day doing absolutely nothing. i just read books and go on social media trying to escape from reality. i hate the fact that everytime i think of my future, my immediate reaction is fear. i need to find a job ASAP, i can tell that bills are tight atm and i want to help but i don't know how. i've seriously considered becoming a stripper but that idea was shut down as soon as i realised i'm uncoordinated and have a flat arse. (3)

i want to try my hand in writing but i'm not sure where to start. i have a lot of ideas but often struggle to put them into words so that puts writing in the category of a pipe-dream than a possible reality. where i live jobs like working the till in a supermarket, clothing shop assistants and even bar tending all require a high school degree at least. i don't know if it's worth it to go on site and ask for an interview. sorry for flooding your inbox but I just needed vent / some advice

No worries! I’m happy to listen and help if I can. It’s a really hard situation you’ve been put in, and it’s way more than any 17 year old should have to deal with. But the good news is that there’s always a way to improve your situation, and your life really is in your control. Without knowing where you are in the world, giving specific advice on what your options are is a little bit difficult, but I’m going to try my best.... if you’re in the US, your best bet for long term success is to take the GED. It’s a high school equivalency exam and will basically let you have a high school diploma without having to go back to actual school, and that will open up more options to you. Your local library may have GED classes, and there are also a ton of resources online to help you prepare for it. From there, you can do community college to get qualifications or to learn a trade. If you’re in the UK, your best option is probably to take night classes towards a vocation.

In the meantime, there are jobs you can apply for that won’t require a high school diploma or GED. Some common ones that don’t require a degree (at least in the US) include home health aide, construction worker, food service, warehouse or stock associate, cleaner, receptionist/secretary, food delivery, and truck driving (although you will likely need an additional license for that). In the US, Indeed has a section specifically for companies that are hiring positions that don’t require a high school diploma. They have international sites as well, so I would imagine that those have the same sections. I would also go to restaurants, stores, bars, groceries, etc. in your area and see if they’re willing to hire you. A lot of companies will say that they have a policy about how much education they require, but in reality they need workers and are willing to take what they can get.

Another option is to work online. Some possibilities in that realm include freelance writing, transcribing or translating, moderating, virtual assistant, market researcher/survey taker, telephone mystery shopper, telephone interviewer, telemarketer, data entry, call reviewers, website testing, and chat agent. It will probably take a bit of applying to lots of websites and seeing what works, but there are a lot of opportunities out there and they may be worth pursuing. If you have a lot of time on your hands, there are tons of websites that will teach you tech-related skills like programming, graphic design, and UX/UI design. Those fields have a ton of remote positions available, don’t really care about your education, and can be very lucrative if you’re good at it. It may be worth working on developing those skills.

As far as writing goes, it’s really just practice. If you’re interested in creative writing, a writing prompt challenge can be a good way to start. Basically, you get a different prompt each day and have to write on that topic. It’s a good way to get practice even if you’re creatively uninspired, and it doesn’t take a ton of time or resources. If you’re interested in nonfiction and journalism, there are a lot of resources online that can teach you those skills- try here, here, here, and here for some resources.

I hope at least some of this is helpful to you. Let me know if there’s anything more I can help you figure out.

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asktheboywholived · 7 years ago

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Hi TT :), I just went on your marauders threads masterpost and none of the links worked. Honestly it might be my computer (I have a super nasty virus atm) but then it might not be. To give you an idea, every time i scroll over the links the typing cursor comes up (y'know the one with the lines that highlights stuff) I've refreshed the page quite a few times and nothing seems to be working. I will carry on refreshing and see if it will work, but for now I just thought you ought to know :)

(( OOC: Yeah, I’m not sure what’s going on there. :P I’ll try and get that fixed… but in the meantime… let’s see if this works:

MARAUDERS THREAD MASTERPOST:

THE MARAUDERS:

SCHOOL YEARS:

Yer A Witch Lily!

After receiving her letter from Hogwarts, Lily wants to tell Petunia, however the conversation quickly takes a turn for the worst.

Love At First Sight

Lily Evans is the most perfect girl James has ever seen! Maybe if he pulls some smooth moves, she’ll fall for him… and maybe not.

Love At First Sight (Baby Marauder Version)

Just A Little Crushed

Frank and Alice have a chat, and it goes south quickly.

Unwanted Attention

Alice is cornered by a persistent Gryffindor who can’t seem to take a hint… or a blatant NO.

Wanted Attention

Frank has a question for Alice… and he’s beyond nervous to ask it.

Lily’s Birthday

Severus wants this birthday to be special. Lily’s worth the effort.

Shower Encounter Part 1

The Prefects bathroom is the nicest bathroom in the school, so of course Lily wants to use it… but it looks like James Potter forgot to lock to the door.

Knock it off!

James just doesn’t know when to quite being obnoxious… but Lily is more than willing to help.

Don’t Sell Yourself Short:

Sirius finds Remus fretting over a new scar after the full moon.

Part 1

Part 2

Shower Encounter Part 2

Lily is about to get some sweet, sweet revenge.

Au-Naturel

Sirius has some female admirers, and they have a bad habit of “finding” his clothes and wearing them… but what happens when he has no clothes left?

Drunk Antics

Lily may have celebrated a little too hard after Gryffindor’s latest quidditch victory.

The Rat

Peter seems very comfortable in his rat form… until Mrs. Norris shows up.

Keep Away

James and Severus were rivals from the moment they set eyes on each other, but they both have a common interest… and that scares James.

Question for Evans

James tries to pull the moves on Lily, but her reaction is less than favorable.

Snape’s Worst Memory

Severus says something unforgivable… something he’ll forever regret.

Runaway:

Sirius’s home-life has taken a turn for the worst… and the only place he can go is his sanctuary… the Potter’s.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Sugar Rush

After getting his hands on some cupcakes… Sirius is a little hyper.

We Will Rock You

The marauders are only mild sports fans…… mild.

Bromance

James and Sirius are the bestest of bros.

Meet the Blacks

Andromeda is engaged to a muggleborn, and the only member of the Black family she trusts enough to tell is Sirius.

The Yule Ball

The night didn’t turning out how Lily had envisioned, but James has a knack of showing up when she’s feeling down.

Sass Off

Dorcus and Marlene are dating… but Dorcas can’t help but feel that maybe Marlene’s feelings still reside with her old crush.

Blood Moon

Sirius, fed up with Severus, has told him about the Whomping Willow… during a full moon. James may be the only one who can save him.

You Fool Of A Black!

After rescuing Snape, James confronts Sirius about his dangerous little “prank”.

The Werewolf In The Shack

After Sirius tells Snape about the whomping willow and everything goes to hell… Remus starts to remember what happened.

The Shunned:

Sirius made a big, big mistake, and now he’s paying for it.

Part 1

Part 2

Merry Christmas Werewolf McWerewolf:

There’s a full moon on Christmas, and the Marauders want to spend it with Remus… but after Remus uses every form of persuasion he can think of, begging his friends to enjoy Christmas with their families, they begrudgingly agree to head home for the holidays.

However, as Sirius gets ready for the Potter’s Christmas party, he can’t stop thinking about Remus.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Remus Doesn’t Know Shit About Quidditch:

Looks like something is going on between Remus and Sirius… and Lily is going to get to the bottom of it.

Part 1

Part 2

Sectumsempra

Severus hasn’t forgiven James for saving him… and he’s been working on a little something… something just for Potter.

Joining The Order 1

The war is starting to hit home, and Frank wants to make a difference.

Drunk Antics Part 2

When the boys get ahold of some “fire whiskey”… things get a little crazy.

Sore Loser

James just cost Gryffindor the match, so, of course… he’s going to bitch about it.

The Monster Under the Bed

Remus has an unexpected, and very unwelcome, late-night visitor.

Can’t Sleep

Remus and Sirius are no strangers to nightmares… and after a particularly frightening one, Remus can’t get back to sleep.

You Wish

Like father like son.

She Likes Me… She Likes Me Not

Lily has a confession to make… a confession that Severus never wanted to hear.

Smitten

James and Lily have gradually become friends… but James still can’t help but want more.

Just Friends:

James Potter has been chasing Lily Evans, the girl of his dreams, for 7 years. However, after a heart-to-heart with Sirius, James realizes that Lily may never return his affections, no matter how much he likes her. Maybe… it’s time to move on.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Wallflower 1

The Yule Ball has come again, and Lily has finally said yes to going with James… there’s just one problem… James is sick.

Wallflower 2

The Yule Ball has come again, and Remus isn’t attending… or at least, that’s what Sirius thought.

A Visit With Evans

James has never been in a real, muggle house… and even better, it’s Lily-Freakin-Evan’s house… this day could not get any better!

The Talk:

James and Lily are having some fun at Lily’s place… but what happens when the parents come home early?

Part 1

Part 2

Dirty Little Secret

Remus has always been ashamed of his scars, and done his best to hide them… but he can’t hide them from everyone.

The Black Plague:

Sirius doesn’t get sick very often… but when he does…

Extra

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Mother Dearest:

After receiving unexpected and devastating news, James and Sirius must learn how to accept their grief.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Career Counseling:

The school year is coming to an end, and it’s time for the marauders to start thinking about their futures… but with a war looming, what kind of future can they hope for?

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Check Me Out

Now that Lily sees James as more than a friend… she can’t help but notice other things too… particularly how good James Potter looks in that shirt.

Freaky Friday (NSFW):

After an terrible potion mix-up, Remus is going to have to survive a few days walking around in Sirius Black’s body…

Alright… he can handle this.

What he can’t handle is the fact that Sirius is now in his body… and embarrassing Remus seems to be his top priority.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Mirror, Mirror (Extra):

Part 1: Remus

Part 2: Sirius

FIRST WIZARDING WAR:

Put A Ring On It:

James is sweaty and nervous… Why? Because he’s about to propose to the girl of his dreams.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Joining The Order 2

Now that Frank is part of the Order, it’s his job to welcome new recruits… but he certainly wasn’t expecting to greet THESE recruits.

Four-Eyes

Desperate times call for… a really terrible good sense of humor.

Surprise, It’s A Baby!

Lily is pregnant… and… WHO IS THE FATHER!?

Surprise, It’s Another Baby!

Alice has a little secret.

The Hunted:

Sirius and Remus find themselves in a trap… and Remus isn’t prepared to face the person who set that trap… his very own monster under the bed.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Cry Wolf

After being released, Fenrir returns to the Den to find Bellatrix waiting for him… Looks like there’s no better time than the present to put his plans into action. Unfortunately, those plans revolve entirely around Remus Lupin.

Seed of Doubt

Sirius receives an unexpected and unwanted visit from his less-than-stable cousin, and what she has to say may lead to some budding doubts concerning Remus Lupin and his loyalties.

Dream A Little Dream Of Me Part 1

The fear of war is growing… and now it’s starting to seep into Sirius’s dreams.

Nothing To Lose… Everything To Lose…

The war is taking its toll, and with mortality at the front of everyone’s minds, Sirius can’t hold back anymore.

The Downward Slope

Remus crashes at the Potter’s for the night, but he didn’t know Sirius was going to be there as well. Things have… changed… since the last time they met.

Dream A Little Dream Of Me Part 2

Sirius has been cold and distant. Now he’s made his way into Remus’s dreams.

Power Play:

Crazy just got crazier. Bellatrix isn’t used to having her authority challenged… Fenrir doesn’t care.

Part 1

Don’t Shoot The Messenger

Marlene is gone, and someone has to tell Dorcas.

What Do You Want?

The war is destroying everything… including Sirius’s faith in Remus. But his feelings are still conflicted… and when Remus confronts him, which path will Sirius choose?

The Kids Are Alright Part 1

With babies on the way, Frank and James are feeling a new weight on their shoulders. This war has taken on a whole new meaning.

Having Second Thoughts:

The Marauders are in the middle of a war, and Lily is about to have a child. What were they thinking!?

Part 1

Part 2

Bed Time For Harry

James and Lily haven’t slept in what feels like weeks. Having a baby is exhausting… but Harry just went to sleep. Maybe now they can get some shut eye.

Foreplay

Harry and Sirius are asleep, so it’s time for the adults to play. But… James and Lily seem to have a hard time being “sexy”.

Super Moon:

Being a double agent is tearing Remus apart, and when he gets trapped with Fenrir during a full moon, things take a turn for the worst.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Thrice Defied:

The war is taking its toll on the marauders, and James and Lily narrowly escape Voldemort’s clutches for the third time.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Liar, Liar:

Remus’s life has spiraled out of control, and now the only thing he can do is throw himself back into the war… but spying for the Order is a dangerous job, and Fenrir knows something that Remus doesn’t know.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Little One:

Remus has been caught in Fenrir’s twisted web since he was a child… But Fenrir has finally become bored of his little pet, and Remus is about to come face-to-face with a true monster.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Dark Times Series:

James and Lily are in a deadly game of hide and seek, and the seeker just found them.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

POST DEATH:

It’s Too Late To Apologize

Severus finds the Potter’s home in ruins. Lily is gone… and she’s never coming back.

The Man Who Loses Everything:

Remus Lupin’s world has come crashing down around him. Everything has been taken away from him… everything except…

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Just When You Thought It Was Over

Frank and Alice have been captured, and Bellatrix is out for blood… or worse.

The Cursed

Frank and Alice will never be the same.

The Nightmare

Lily was the love of his life, and Severus will never see her again, except in his dreams. But this isn’t a dream… this is a nightmare.

The Depths of Hell

There is an island, where the inhabitants have been forgotten, left to a fate worse than death…

HARRY POTTER ERA:

A New Era

Remus has been trapped in Hell since the fall of his closest friends, the people he loved… and now, after years of struggle, he’s on his way back to Hogwarts.

Awkward Reunion

The Order has a new member… and Remus hasn’t seen her in years.

Potty Humor

Tonks really shouldn’t have eaten that…

Never Be The Same:

After escaping from Azkaban, Sirius goes into hiding with Remus. However, twelve years apart, twelve years of false accusations, twelve years of torture… have left gaping wounds that may never heal.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

The Veil:

What happens to the people we leave behind?

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

King’s Cross

What lies on the other side of the veil?

You Could Be Happy:

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” A story about a werewolf, a metamorphmagus, and finding happiness.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Metamorphmagus

Tonks has a little surprise for Remus.

Turntable

Tonks has spent the night with Remus for the first time… and now she has the house all to herself… so obviously a bit of “exploring” is in order.

Fatherhood

Remus is now a father… and it feels strangely familiar.

The Kids Are Alright Part 2

With the war hitting closer to home, Neville pays what may be his final visit to his father.

I Open At The Close

The Marauder’s final moments.

JILY AU’S:

James Deer

Lily can’t believe it… James Potter is an animagus?

Apologies

James thinks it might be time to make up for being an ass.

Truth or Dare (Jily)

Lily and James are stuck at Hogwarts for Christmas… but they find a fun way to pass the time.

Hormones

Lily can’t stop crying… and James is a flustered mess.

The Art Of Seduction

James pulls out his best moves… which are kind of like everyone else’s worst.

REMADORA AU’S:

What’s in My (Pockets)?

Tonks likes jackets… and stealing other people’s jackets… well, one person in particular.

The Whole Package

Remus has it.

Can’t Teach An Old Dog New Tricks

These jokes never get old.

Memories

A picture is worth a thousand words… but pictures can’t replace what Teddy lost.

Resurrection

Teddy decides to take a walk in the forbidden forest after a restless night… and he finds something on on the ground, an item long forgotten…

FENTRIX AU’S:

Power Play (CONTINUATION):

Crazy just got crazier. Bellatrix isn’t used to having her authority challenged… Fenrir doesn’t care.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

And They Called It… Puppy Lust

Fenrir and Bellatrix have an… interesting relationship.

WOLFSTAR AU’S:

MODERN AU’S:

Snap Chat

Remus receives a bizarre snap from a total stranger… turns out that stranger has a pretty face framed by some nice, black hair. He might be okay with this.

BYOB (NSFW):

Remus is working as a bartender at a Gay Club. He’s witnessed a lot of… interesting stuff… But nothing has come close to Sirius Black.

Part 1 (Video):

Youtube

Vimeo

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Bloopers (Video):

Youtube

Vimeo

God Save The Queen:

Sirius has been acting strange lately… he keeps taking off at night, and Remus could have sworn he was wearing makeup… Sirius Black is hiding something.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

HP UNIVERSE AU’S:

Truth or Dare (Wolfstar)

Sirius gets wrapped up in a game of Truth or Dare… and ends up biting off more than he can chew.

The Morning After (A continuation of “Can’t Sleep”)

Sirius has a bad habit of unconsciously stripping when it gets too hot at night… and apparently Remus does too. This may become a problem if they keep sharing each other’s beds after nightmares wake them up.

The Morning After The Morning After

Remus is starting to have a hard time falling asleep… weird things seem to happen when he falls asleep in Sirius’s bed.

The Morning After The Morning After… The Morning

It’s time for Remus to get even… maybe.

Distraction

Remus is having a hard time paying attention in class with Sirius sitting across from him.

Amortentia

Things just got a little awkward in Potions class.

Fetch:

Sirius can be such a brat… but so can Remus, especially when chocolate is involved.

Part 1

Part 2

DYAC!

Damn you auto correct…

Wrong Place, Wrong Time 1

James recalls walking in on a not-so-pleasant scene.

Wrong Place, Wrong Time 2

Remus and Sirius are having a moment… but they forgot to lock the door.

Midnight Meetings

It’s getting harder to have some alone time in the dorm… so the boys take their shenanigans to McGonagall’s classroom. Bad move.

Long Hair Don’t Care

Remus grows his hair out, and Sirius can’t handle it.

What Doesn’t Kill You, Leaves A Scar:

Remus has always found his scars ugly… but Sirius is determined to show him otherwise.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

If You Wannit Come n’ Get It:

Sirius stole Remus’s hat… and Remus is trying to get it back… creatively.

Part 1

Part 2

Freudian Slip

Uh………… Whoops!

That Awkward Moment When…

You end up accidentally comparing dick sizes with your best mate.

Never Give a Werewolf Alcohol

James is going to be a father! Sirius and Remus have stayed up to celebrate… but Remus has had one to many drinks, and Sirius is enjoying his drunken companion so much… that he might just let something slip.

Plastered

After getting very a little tipsy, Sirius receives an unexpected… and very unwelcome… visitor.

Bellybutton Ring (NSFW):

Sirius has had a little too much to drink… As a result, he may be showing off more than Remus is comfortable with.

Part 1

Part 2

Polaroid (NSFW)

Sirius just got a new camera, and Remus has become an unwitting model.

Sleepy Pups

Sirius can’t help it… he just loves to cuddle.

Candy Cane (NSFW)

It’s Christmas and Sirius is enjoying his new candy cane a little too much. That insufferable git.

Baby It’s Cold Outside:

Remus is being a grinch, so Sirius is going to get him into the Christmas Spirit… and maybe get a little sing-a-long out of him as well.

VIDEO

BLOOPERS

Up or Down? (NSFW)

Sirius revels in the fact that he can make Remus flustered… using nothing more than his hair.

Don’t Play With Fire (NSFW):

Remus always becomes more aggressive as the full moon draws closer… He has always struggled to control it. But what happens when Sirius decides to threaten that control?

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Extra

Never Be The Same (Alternative Ending):

Part 1

Part 2

Moving On 1

Remus has found someone who makes him happier than he’s ever been… someone who makes him feel safe.

Moving On 2

Sirius has been locked in a cell for 12 years… and now that he’s out maybe things can pick up where they left off… or, maybe, nothing will ever be the same.

NSFW Wolfstar

Exactly what it sounds like.

DARK SIRIUS AU’s:

After being sorted into Slytherin, Sirius Black’s life takes a complete turn. He never befriends the marauders (in fact, he becomes James Potter’s greatest rival), and he continues to grow up in an abusive home environment, with nowhere to run. Where will this path lead him?

Cornered Animal

A greasy little bird told Sirius a monstrous secret about Remus Lupin… So of course… he’s going to use this information to his advantage.

Betrothal

Sirius and Andromeda used to be close… but with years of abuse and no where to run, Sirius has become a different person. Can Andromeda get through to him, or will he continue down his self-destructive path?

Brotherly Love

Sirius has been through a lot with Regulus. He’s the only one in their crazy family that he can bring himself to care for… but caring just leads to hurt.

It’s A Trap!

Remus is sent on an Order mission to an abandoned mansion… when he arrives, he quickly realizes he’s not the only one there.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

TUMBLR PROM SERIES:

Ginny Weasley

James Potter

Sirius Black

Remus Lupin

Frank Longbottom

Part 1 (James and Sirius)

Part 2 (Sirius and Remus)

Part 3 (Sirius, Frank and Alice)

PROGRESSION SERIES:

Progression Of Fralice

Progression Of Jily

Progression Of Wolfstar

#ooc #Anonymous #masterpost

577 notes · View notes

cryinghole-blog · 8 years ago

Conversation

Xav: I'll talk to you on Steam but won't join tipchat again

Chinye: whats wrong

Xav: I dunno

Xav: I'm yelling a lot

Xav: Keep on changing what I want to do

Xav: Keep on fidgeting

Xav: So I'll talk after this shower

Chinye: ok

Chinye: i hope u feel better

Chinye: is something about tipchat bothering u?

Chinye: something i said?

Xav: No, it's me

Xav: I got upset in the shower. When I'm calmed down I'll tell you

Chinye: can i help?

Xav: I just need to unload on you

Xav: Sorry in advanced

Chinye: ok

Xav: Just here's the jist

Xav: I'm lazy

Chinye: lazy?

Chinye: i dont really get that impression with you

Chinye: did you forget to do something?

Xav: okay im back on

Xav: this might take a while

Xav: because i just have a horrible feeling in my gut

Xav: but the main reason why i am in my current life circumstance is that I'm lazy

Xav: 2010, first year of high school

Xav: everything was okay besides friend

Xav: 2011

Xav: i couldn't develop a study strategy

Xav: because I didn't feel like it

Xav: and pushed away the worries by either talking to people, playing games, watching things, etc.

Xav: this manifested

Xav: i started to not ask for help

Xav: because I didn't want to

Xav: and it was so much effort

Xav: this started spilling into everything

Xav: in life

Xav: today

Xav: i didn't eat breakfast

Xav: because i didn't want to

Xav: i didn't walk peggy

Xav: because i didn't want to

Xav: didn't do washing, the dishes, clean up

Xav: didn't go outside

Xav: it goes into video games

Xav: i can have more fun in Granblue if I looked up what I should do next and grind

Xav: but I'm lazy

Xav: and don't want to put in effort

Xav: so I just whine about my current situation

Xav: i would put more effort into trying to rebuild friendships

Xav: but I'm lazy

Xav: t would require too much effort

Xav: and make me anxious

Xav: and runin mty day

Xav: so I resort to staying inside

Xav: I was in the shwower

Xav: I was too lazy to get out

Xav: i just let the water envelop me

Xav: Like a wet and slippery cocoon

Xav: I don't try to develop new hobbies

Xav: Because that requires me to fail first to improve

Chinye: you sound like me

Xav: and I don't want to do that

Xav: I am too lazy to get up

Chinye: thats exactly how i am

Xav: too lazy to get dressed

Xav: too lazy to look for a job

Xav: too lazy to seek help from free government services

Xav: too lazy to tell mum and dad my real inner problems

Xav: too lazy to even start a conversation with my surviving friends

Xav: too lazy to become alive

Xav: too lazy to defend myself

Xav: i just take each blow

Xav: too lazy to do these stretches which will stop me feeling pain

Xav: too lazy to stop any of this happening

Xav: too lazy to believe in myself

Chinye: do you have anything that motivates you

Xav: i dunno

Xav: i just wanna go to sleep

Xav: because im too lazy to figure out what to do for the rest of the day

Xav: Too lazy to even try to find someone to fuck the pain away

Xav: I'm too lazy to find out if I even like dick

Xav: I've just masturbated to some dumb doujins online

Xav: had one boyfriend

Xav: who hadn't even transitioned yt

Xav: and i label myself as bi/pan

Xav: too lazy to get to the root of the problem

Xav: too lazy to get better at video games

Xav: doesn't that just make your skin crawl?

Xav: i want to do all these things

Xav: but this little thing in my head just makes me this walking zombie

Chinye: it doesnt really make it crawl but it makes me lock up a bit

Chinye: because i have exactly the same problem

Chinye: no motivation to do anything

Chinye: too lazy to fix my problems

Xav: i can feel my energy leak out

Chinye: I dont know what to say about it

Xav: all the positivity

Chinye: cause like im exactly the same

Xav: i want to cut off my limbs

Chinye: I wish there was a magic fix

Chinye: :(

Xav: and im too lazy to stop talking and think about your feelings

Chinye: you dont need to stop

Xav: i just keep on going

Xav: and impede negativity onto you

Chinye: negativity doesn't bother me

Chinye: I can handle it

Xav: even though i know how you feel because i've been in your spot so many times

Chinye: I just am thinking about it

Chinye: I dont know how to solve problems i have myself

Chinye: its good to know im not alone though

Xav: i'm too lazy to tell people what they say makes me feel horrible but i bottle it up and struggle to help them but all i can do is hit these plastic objects

Chinye: I thought other people just had motivation to do things

Chinye: and that things were just harder for me

Xav: which then sends an impulse to wiring then goes through all of these devices

Xav: to someone else

Chinye: Do i make you feel bad?

Chinye: with anything i say?

Chinye: I can stop dumping emotional stuff on you

Xav: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mWotngJBcc

Xav: i can't stop talking to you though

Xav: because then you will have to talk to someone else

Xav: and gothrough the same process

Chinye: I can keep it in

Chinye: and deal with it myself

Chinye: like should've done in the first place

Xav: you;'ll hurt yourself in the

Xav: process

Chinye: i'm sorry i've been dumping stuff on you

Chinye: I wont anymore

Xav: no

Chinye: thanks for all the help so far though

Xav: i want to be strong

Xav: i want to be strong for you

Xav: but i'm just so squishy

Xav: and take everything to heart

Chinye: i told you before

Chinye: i can handle it myself

Xav: i dont want you to be in pain

Chinye: i just got weak

Chinye: and let it fall on someone else

Chinye: dont worry about it anymore

Xav: i failed

Chinye: how?

Chinye: we're still gonna hang out

Chinye: and talk

Chinye: just not about sad stuff

Chinye: unless you need help

Chinye: maybe it'd be good to get some sleep though

Chinye: you said you were tired

Chinye: and i dont want you ot be upset

Xav: i donm't know

Xav: do we even have anything else to talk about?

Chinye: ofc we do

Chinye: are u joking

Chinye: i think were really good friend

Chinye: s

Chinye: we can talk about games

Chinye: and shows

Chinye: and things going on in discord

Xav: every day i just feel weaker and weaker

Xav: yesterday was fine

Xav: i don';t know why

Xav: everything felt different

Xav: but just

Xav: thinking of anything

Chinye: its my fault

Xav: makes me collapse

Chinye: you have been dealing with other peoples problems

Xav: no

Chinye: in addition to your own

Chinye: ofc its gonna be hard

Xav: please no

Chinye: ???

Xav: i don't wnat it ot be like this

Chinye: what to be like what

Chinye: im confused sorry

Xav: i dunno

Chinye: oh ok well

Chinye: if you wanna play games

Chinye: or anything

Chinye: let me know

Chinye: get some rest tho

Chinye: noob

Xav: i want to be stronger for you

Xav: for everyone

Chinye: then get there

Chinye: prepare yourself

Chinye: but that doesnt mean you gotta deal with everything at once

Xav: i want this feeling in my chest to go away

Chinye: sleep

Xav: it's 4:30 pm

Chinye: its the best way to get rid of feeling like that

Xav: it will ruin my day

Chinye: listen to music?

Chinye: im not sure

Xav: none of my music is particularly good at making me feel better

Chinye: you could finish koboyashi

Xav: i watch it with friends

Chinye: watch an anime from my list

Chinye: anything 8 and above is good

Xav: im too lazy to do anything new

Chinye: have you seen no.6?

Chinye: its shonnen ai

Chinye: but its really lite

Chinye: and good

Chinye: im thinking about going to sleep

Chinye: im really tired

Chinye: despite sleeping a bunch

Xav: okay

Chinye: not sure yet

Xav: dont ruin your sleep schedule this weekend

Xav: i want you to go to work on monday

Chinye: thanks dad

Chinye: :P

Xav: sorry, just can't think of anything funny atm

Chinye: lol you dont have to

Chinye: go eat a sanger

Chinye: or whatever u called them

Xav: i just feel frail and stale

Chinye: stale?

Chinye: you are a really nice person

Chinye: and i really think you brighten people around you

Chinye: a mood booster

Xav: it;s not enough

Chinye: its some though

Chinye: better than being someone who brings others down

Chinye: if everyone was like that

Chinye: things would be great

Xav: i;m going to be a pig and order food now

Chinye: wish i did that

Chinye: the sub i had when i woke up was gross

Chinye: lol

Xav: hoping mum won't look at the credit card bill

Xav: she was suggesting i make something for myself

Xav: but im just so weak

Xav: i didn't even make that sandwich i said i was going to make

Chinye: want me to paypal u money

Xav: no

Chinye: so u can order food

Chinye: and u just pay me back somehow

Xav: somehow will be in 2 years

Xav: maybe more

Chinye: it doesnt have to be with money n

Chinye: nerd

Xav: i've given you all i have

Chinye: what would food even cost

Chinye: like $20?

Xav: this place's minimum order is $20

Xav: the HSP was 13.50

Chinye: just let me know if u want me to

Chinye: and i'll paypal u it

Xav: i got a milkshake but it was shit

Chinye: you dont even have to give back

Xav: i can't let you do that

Chinye: i dont want you to get yelled at

Xav: Mum doesn't yell

Chinye: sorry

Chinye: shamed at

Xav: i can deal with it

Chinye: you dont have to if u let me help

Chinye: but ok

Chinye: its up to you

Xav: i just can't sorry

Chinye: ok...

#cryhole

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