#look sometimes your brain latches onto a phrase at 2am and suddenly there's 650+ words on the page

[skyriderwednesday]

Mechanisms

His Lordship was talking about the mechanisms of wire cheese slicers. His Lordship had in fact been Talking about the mechanisms of wire cheese slicers for most of twenty minutes. Drumknott had not taken in almost any of it. -- Lord Vetinari is highly practiced in the art of the tangent. Mr Drumknott is equally proficient in disguising that his mind is wandering.

(G Rated, 656 words. TW: Food Mention)

His Lordship was talking about the mechanisms of wire cheese slicers. His Lordship had in fact been Talking about the mechanisms of wire cheese slicers for most of twenty minutes. Drumknott had not taken in almost any of it. As much as he was concerned, unless one were to suddenly become of use in the practice of filing and archiving, the mechanisms of wire cheese slicers were not something he needed to know much about. He rather liked cheese in moderation, but he did not slice it often enough to require a mechanical device to do so with much precision. His crackers for instance did not particularly protest if a slice was thin at the edges and thick in the middle, and his taste buds rather preferred it. He owned an old cheese plane with a horn handle that he had inherited from his mother. He had told his Lordship this over twenty minutes ago, when he had asked if he knew the correct implement for cutting a particular kind of cheese. This had led on to the current Talking. Drumknott could scarcely recall what it was they had originally been talking about. He remembered that his Lordship had been dictating a letter to the head of the Guild of Kitchenworkers, with regard to a ruling in the case of a dispute with the Guild of Bladesmiths, stating that -- as he read it over to remind himself -- from the unbiased analysis of guild documentation, it would be inappropriate for the former guild to begin manufacturing steak knives without consulting the latter. Drumknott knew that his Lordship had asked him how he would personally define a particular piece of cutlery, but he was not sure exactly how the discussion had moved on from that to cheese slicing.  “I do hope that answers your question, Mr Drumknott?” Vetinari finished, Drumknott tuning his hearing back in at just the right moment to catch him say this. He was not aware that he had actually asked a question. However, if he were to be asked, he would say that his mother’s old horn-handled cheese plane, which had belonged before her to her mother and before her to her grandfather, worked perfectly well to cut any type of cheese that was not too hard. “It does, sir, thank you,” he answered. “Although, I might question your apparent objection to the pairing of spiced cheeses with oat biscuits?”

His Lordship began Talking again, on the respective flavours of cheeses, and oat biscuits, and spices. He meandered for a moment on the imprecise nature of the word ‘spice’ and asked if Drumknott, like some others, considered salt to be a spice. Drumknott replied that he did not, sir. His Lordship swiftly returned to his initial direction. Drumknott noted to himself that the windows were due a clean, and that if the curtains were changed now then there would be ample time for them to be aired out before the air grew too damp. He made a note to discuss these notions with the house staff. Considering cheese and savoury oat biscuits, Drumknott realised that he had not done something he quite liked in some time, which was to have a nutty flavoured cheese on oat biscuits with slices of tart apple. He rather liked the thought of doing this for his supper that evening. He would have to go out and buy some. The city rang the hour, which seemed to alert his Lordship that he had been Talking for some time. He rounded off shortly, saying that was quite enough of that discussion, and asked Drumknott what they had been doing before they had gotten into it. Drumknott reminded him, and he resumed dictating with such continuity that it was as if the task had not been interrupted for nearly half an hour at all.  Drumknott would not have had it any differently, monologues about the mechanisms of wire cheese slicers aside.