#look it's like fuck o'clock ok

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

HELP I WANNA KISS THE OLD MAN

[sreppub]

I have to inflict the brainrot on you again. I'm so sorry

Red Hood goes selkie to flatten criminals like pancakes

Is it dragonpyre o'clock again?!

Ok legit seals are so dense and heavy. Powerful motherfuckers. Red Hood(ed seal) could absolutely fuck up some goons.

"wait, a seal? out here on the hard streets of gotham?" -> "aw wtf it's so cute look how he's bouncing" "it's called gallumphing" "nature is so beautiful, dude" -> "woah wait is he coming towards us--?!" -> "WHO GAVE THIS SEAL A GUN???"

[jmdbjk]

Well...

I've always harped on their "chemistry" and its no exaggeration. They fit together so naturally. They are so very in tune with each other, when you are with that person and you feel like everything is right and it doesn't matter what you are doing, where you are going or if you are doing anything or nothing at all.

This episode was completely different than any of the previous episodes.

By the end of November they both knew what was going to happen and embracing the idea that they were about to "go in" and they were doing this together. They flat out said they were making memories to take with them while they served their military obligation.

Jimin and Jungkook clearly see themselves as just ordinary people living extraordinary lives, and they want to and expect to experience ordinary things.

The convenience store visit.

They ran like kids sliding on the ice, stomped in the snow, threw snowballs at each other, even though occasionally, Jimin's pragmatism burst their cozy little bubble:

Jungkook: "When it snows during our military service I think I'll recall this moment."

Jimin: "Right now, we're watching the snow from a hotel window but soon we'll have to sweep it up."

Ever the romantic, that Jimin...

Walking on the street with the general public, getting coffee, making their way to the train station... just like everyone else...

Yes, they had a crew with them, leading them and following them through the streets of Sapporo. But everything they did was ordinary.

When they are ordering food or drinks, their attempts at reading and speaking Japanese are endearing. They just dove right in. I love them. See? Don't let language be an obstacle when traveling in a foreign country!

I don't know if that's his personal little round furry money purse or if the staff used that for this trip's spending money and just handed it to him... but it was cute as fuck.

There is nothing pretentious about them. Yes they can whip out the black card to pay for expensive whisky but Jungkook took pleasure in choosing what he wanted himself, carrying his armload of 18 year old whisky to the counter and paying the $4000 for it himself at the distillery. He could have had someone else do it for him.

We saw these purchases in his refrigerator during his live on Dec. 8:

As ordinary as it was, there were still some very WTF moments that everyone has already pointed out:

That moment from the car ride on the way from the airport to the hotel at 11 o'clock at night, no seatbelts, Jimin practically sitting in Jungkook's lap and both smushed against the door. Jungkook looking like he is about to get lucky or just did.... man, I don't know what that was all about and how it stayed in this episode instead of getting edited out. I mean... there is a cut so we are not seeing the entire thing but what they left in was... ok?... I guess?

The train ride sequence (even though it was highly manipulated in post-production to wipe out all the other people)...

That culminates in this... we hope it ends up being a selca in the photobook. The moment was so sweet.

At the distillery, cosplaying their pickup lines at a bar...

Jimin's moment of clarity when he envisioned himself a girl dad and Jungkook thinking "uhhhhh... ok, Jimin, whatever you say"...

Gotta say though, Jimin envisioning himself a father at some point in the future was very sweet.

They reminisced a lot, talking about how much they and the other members have changed over the years and still remarking to each other how young they both look when back outside in the cold air, cheeks flushed from whisky and beer and a hot meal.

Their point of view regarding their looks, "they enjoy watching us gradually get raggedy and fat."

Yet, their age difference is exactly what makes them click. Jimin being older, caring, watchful, responsible in the early years, and Jungkook, so young, still socially awkward, always watching Jimin, always sticking close by him, learning how to maneuver the situations they faced in their profession. Through the years they evolved and matured personally and professionally into the men they are today.

If they had been same-agers, the outcome may not have been the same.

Again, props to the staff for everything they did to make this happen for Jimin and Jungkook. It appeared that some of the time they remained outside in the cold while Jimin and Jungkook were indoors eating or getting coffee.

This trip was their final trip before that "rite of passage" that every Korean male is obligated to fulfill. There was a poignant edge to a lot of this episode, in what they talked about, in the imagery. Jimin has always seemed to want to hang on to his "youth" and now he was about to cross that line and he knew it.

I also keep harping on the fact Jimin and Jungkook are together as we speak and I am thankful for that every day. I firmly believe they are thankful for each other, even if they are not same age friends.

Two more episodes.

[w2soneshots]

Drunken love -W2S

words: 0.5k+

warnings: alcohol consumption.

summary: you go on a night out and get really drunk, so Harry carries you home.

notes: Harry is definitely this type of boyfriend😆. I love this request and I hope you all enjoy!!💕🫶🏼

Tonight me, Harry, Faith and Ethan are going on a night out together. We've all been super busy recently so I'm really excited to catch up with Faith and have some fun. We're meeting at seven so I hopped in the shower, styled my hair, put on some makeup then chose a cute dress and some five inch heels. By the time I was finished it was almost seven. Are apartment is only a five to ten minute walk away from the club so we didn't have to pay for a taxi.

We arrived and I quickly spotted Faith. "Hi! Oh my god, you look stunning." I beamed as I pulled her into a hug. She wore a tight black body suit with a short denim skirt and matching boots. "So do you! Where's that dress from?" She asked. "Boohoo." I replied. Ethan and Harry had been having their own little conversation so we asked if they wanted to go and get some drinks. They said yes so we all made our way over to the bar.

Harry said that he wasn't going to drink too much tonight so he had a beer while me and Faith ordered two tequila shots. It felt really good to let go a little and forget about everything other than having fun with my favourite people. Me and Faith headed to the dance floor after failing to convince the boys to join us. We jumped around and sang until we were out of breath.

As the night went on me and Faith became increasing more drunk while the boys had only had a few drinks. By the time the clock hit one o'clock Harry decided it was time to take me home. "No! I don't wanna leave yet." I wined. "Babe, you're really pissed. Come on." Harry tried to convince me. I huffed "fine. You're boring." We said goodbye to Ethan and Faith who were also about to leave, once their uber arrived.

Harry practically held me up as we made our way home. It felt like it was taking ten times longer than before and my feet were absolutely killing me. "Ugh. These fucking heels!" I groaned. "Here." Harry lent down to take them off of my feet. I lent my hands on his back as I stepped out of the uncomfortable shoes and onto the cold pavement. He held them in his hands when he stood up. "Ok, you ready?" He put his hands out as if he was going to pick me up. "Uh yea." I replied. He swiftly scoped me up, one arm under my back and the other in the crook of my legs. I wrapped my arms around his neck then rested my head on his chest.

In a few minutes we were walking down the hallway of our apartment building, approaching our apartment. He set me down then unlocked the door. I stumbled inside, he followed behind. I turned around. "You look so hot." I mumbled, my hands subconsciously reaching out to touch his muscular arms. He chuckled.

"Let's go to bed." He gently led me into the bedroom. "Well if you say so." I pulled my dress off. He rolled his eyes with an amused smile. "Here let me grab you some pyjamas." He moved over to the dresser. "Clothes? No." I sassily spat out. Harry laughed "I love you so much but you're really really drunk, get into bed." He helped me over to the neatly made bed. "Fine." I huffed. Harry smiled.

[ellebakers]

☆ Desire | Part one (+18)

Ethan landry x reader.

part II. | part III

Summary : just ethan fucking you against a wall.

Warnings : smut + language + blood. ! SPOILERS FOR SCREAM VI !

it's been a year. a year since richie and amber destroyed your life. a year of waking up every night screaming after having a nightmare. it had to stop.

when your friends asked you to come and live with them in new york a few months ago, you refused. but the more the months passed and the more you felt alone.

that's why a few weeks ago, you called each of them to ask them to put you up until you found a small apartment not far from the university.

"i would like y/n. really, but with tara and quinn, all the rooms are taken." sam told you.

"it doesn't bother me but... you might hear us a lot anika and me, well you know, you might hear us doing certain things." mindy said

there was only one person left. chad.

"no problem gorgeous , I'll arrange the third bedroom for you and you can move in with us whenever you want. ethan is nice, a little shy but nice." your best friend told you.

you were so excited. can't wait to see your friends, but above all can't wait to start a new life far away from woodsboro and especially far away from ghostface.

———☆ ★ ❀ ✿ ♡ ☆ ★ ❀ ✿ ———

it was eight o'clock in the morning, your taxi had just dropped you off in front of chad and ethan's building and you couldn't help but smile. this city is so big that no one is likely to find you. especially not the man in the white mask who haunted your nights.

after taking the elevator to the fourth floor, you took the corridor on your right as your friend had told you and stopped in front of apartment 45.

you raised your arm to knock but before you could move the door slammed open.

" y/n !"

" chad !"

you jumped at the brunette and hugged him, so happy to see your best friend. the boy did not take long to reciprocate the gesture.

"you still smell so good." he exclaimed.

you laughed "you’re still so weird."

he pulled back and lightly pinched your nose "i missed you, little head."

you smiled at him "I missed you too, big head."

he pushed aside to let you into the apartment.

once inside, he took your coat and your bag "is that all you took?" he asked you.

"yeah, i just took some change and some stuff. my parents will send me the rest."

he nodded and put your things on a small bench in the hallway.

"come, let me introduce you to ethan."

you followed him to the kitchen where a boy with curly hair was sitting at the counter. "ethan" hearing his name, the boy looked up. you can't help but notice how cute he was. "this is my best friend y/n." the boy's gaze fell on you for a moment then he quickly looked away. "y/n, this is ethan."

you waved your hand "hi"

"hi" he muttered, then he got up, got his things and walked towards what you assumed was his room.

chad turned to you pursing his lips "he's shy."

you nodded slightly, still confused by what had just happened. as a first meeting you had known better. did you scare him ? maybe he didn't like you. but you had only just met him, it was stupid.

your best friend cleared his throat, bringing you back to reality. " i forgot to tell you, but we're going to sam’s place in twenty minutes."

you widened your eyes "wait what? but i've only just arrived. and i won't be ready in twenty minutes."

he shook his head, raising his shoulders "but yes ! I installed your room, you just have to change, plus the girls don't know you're in town."

you crossed your arms "oh, so for once in your life you managed to keep your mouth shut."

a mischievous smile appeared on chad's face "oh, girls i had dated prefer when my mouth is open, especially between their-"

you cover your ears "shut up, I'm going to change."

he laughed and tickled you as you walked past him. "chad stop"

"ok"

———☆ ★ ❀ ✿ ♡ ☆ ★ ❀ ✿ ———

after putting on jeans, a tank top and a leather jacket, you tore your hair down and put on some make-up, in ten minutes you were ready.

it was not the case of chad…

you growled when you saw that your friend wasn't ready and was running around looking for a t-shirt.

"seriously chad, put something else on your back it's okay."

"nah nah and nah, it's the t-shirt tara gave me. and besides, don't pretend that you don't like seeing me shirtless."

you rolled your eyes, then what he just said hit you.

"wait. you have a crush on tara!"

chad froze and turned to you "what? nah, it's just that...she gave it to me and...it would be rude not to put it on."'

"of course, I believe you." you smirked and chad gives you the middle finger.

ethan came towards you but moved very far away from you.

okay nice… you thought.

chad yelled which startled you. seeing your reaction he apologized "sorry kitten, I just found my top. come on, let's go, I have to stop and buy some beer, Tara only likes corona."

you smiled shaking your head.

———☆ ★ ❀ ✿ ♡ ☆ ★ ❀ ✿ ———

while chad was in the store, you were in the car with ethan, who still hadn't spoken to you.

a ding caught your attention. a new notification appeared on your phone. it was that damn dating app that mindy told you to install. a certain brian came to send you a picture. you opened it. and the photo of a dick appeared. you growled and blocked him. that was the downside with this kind of app, the guys you met on it only wanted one thing. sex. after turning off your phone, you leaned your head against the glass and sighed.

"you shouldn't be on this kind of app." for the first time that evening, ethan had just spoken to you.

you didn't know what to say, but it could be a good way to strike up a conversation with him. after all, you were going to live with him for a while so you might as well be on good terms.

"yes, I know. i thought i would meet good people, but i only come across perverts."

"you're really pretty. that's what they come for. maybe you should try talking to guys who are less handsome or popular, but who really care about you."

he finds you pretty. the cutest guy you've ever seen thinks you're pretty. you must have dreamed. and his voice. lord, you could kneel before him and do anything he asked just by hearing his voice.

"yeah well. every guy, popular or not, are interested in me until they see my scars and learn who i am. thanks to richie and amber."

you expected ethan to answer you but he kills himself. at the same time, chad got into the car and drove to sam's place.

———☆ ★ ❀ ✿ ♡ ☆ ★ ❀ ✿ ———

"chad! you're late. again." grumbled mindy.

the three girls were busy in the kitchen so they didn't see you come in behind chad.

"i have a body of god, it takes time to take care of it before going out."

"of course." his twin replied.

" i feel like a wave of mockery coming from you mindy. isn't it y/n?"

you approached and saw the three girls turn sharply, shock evident on their faces.

"holy shit." exclaimed sam

tara threw herself into your arms and mindy put down the bottle she was holding so as not to drop it, still in shock. they haven't seen you in months except for facetime.

"it's good to see you." murmured the little brunette who hugged you against her without wanting to let you go.

"it's good to see you too tara."

"okay okay, let go. it's my turn now." mindy exclaimed as she pulled tara away from you.

she cupped your face in her hands "fuck. is it good to be able to touch you." chad opened his mouth to comment but mindy cut him off rolling her eyes "not sexually dumbass."

you laughed and hugged your friend.

after a while she withdrew to make way for sam.

"i missed you." the eldest carpenter told you.

"i missed you too sam."

after a while, two other girls arrived introducing themselves as anika and quinn, after greeting them, you started to eat. it's been a year since you felt so good, surrounded by those you love and safe. your friends had all changed a lot over the past year, you were so proud of them. but something bothered you, like a bad feeling. you shook your head slightly to erase the feeling. after all, you were safe, nothing could happen.

you felt eyes on you. you turned and met ethan's eyes. you smiled at him but he turned his head towards quinn, they exchanged a strange look.

maybe they are a couple.

but they don't act like one. you looked away and focused on what mindy and anika were saying. after a few hours, your eyes began to close. chad was the first to notice.

"do you want us to go home?"

"i'll go home. but you, stay here. i'll walk."

"nah, we're going home too."

you knew he wanted to stay to spend time with tara. but you also knew that he wouldn't let you go home alone. "chad. stay here, i'll be fine, i promise."

as he was going to answer you, ethan cut him off. "i will accompany her."

chad was surprised but accepted. you got up, said goodbye to everyone and left with the brunette.

———☆ ★ ❀ ✿ ♡ ☆ ★ ❀ ✿ ———

the walk to the apartment was quiet and long. why did ethan want to come with you if it was to be cold with you. after a while, you found the courage to ask him the question you were dying to ask.

"did I do something to you ?"

you keep walking, and ethan didn't bother to turn to you when answering. "no, why ?"

"since I arrived you have spoken to me very little. and I have the impression that you don't like me too much."

"i don't know you, that's all. i'm always suspicious of people i don't know."

you didn't realize it, but for a few minutes, you had been following ethan down a dark, deserted alley.

"ok if you say so."

ethan froze, which made you stop. he turned his head in all directions.

"ethan what’s going on ?" you asked him.

he didn't answer you, you were going to ask him the question again, but he threw himself on you and pinned you against the wall behind you, kissing you.

it didn't take you long to respond by sliding your arms around his neck and kissing him. usually, you'll have pushed the boy away and probably slapped him. but ethan, you were really attracted to him. and we're not going to lie to each other, it's been a few months since you've had sex, so you weren't going to say no to a bang. after a while you pull away to catch your breath, he turned his lips to your neck, biting, licking and sucking on it in order to leave some marks. you moan when he finds your sensitive spot.

"ethan, someone might see us."

"i don't give a fuck."

you were ashamed to admit it, but hearing him talk like that made you wet.

"then fuck me."

he smiled against your neck "it was planned."

he pushed himself away from you, sliding his hands down your body until he was waiting for your jeans. he unbuttoned it and slid it off you, leaving your legs exposed in an alley. he knelt in front of you, knowing what he was going to do, you held your breath. he took the strip of your panties between his fingers and tore it. you were about to complain but ethan buried his head between your legs and took your pussy in his mouth. you moaned loudly and ran your hand through his hair.

"fuck, ethan."

you had a lot of guys who had went down on you. but ethan, fuck, it's like he's been doing this his whole life. between his tongue and his lips, you thought you were dying of pleasure. the more he penetrated you with his tongue, the louder you moaned. after a few minutes, the pleasure was too intense and you cum against his lips. he stood up as you caught your breath. he licked his lips "you taste so good."

"fuck me."

he smiled at you and lowered his pants to his knees, his boxers were the second to be lowered.

his dick was big and hard you didn't think it was going to fit but ethan grabbed your jaw between his fingers and made you look at him "it'll be fine." you nodded and he kissed you again. ethan took your left leg and put it against his hip. he spat into his hand and pumped himself a little before putting his cock towards your entrance. and in one movement he penetrated you, which made you moan and close your eyes. he didn't move, he took your other leg and lifted it, which allowed him to sink even more inside you. "fuck you’re so tight." he started his movements, slowly, pressing you more against the wall. you were still sensitive, which made you cry with pleasure at each thrust. "ethan, i'm close." he put his hand around your neck and squeezed lightly. his dominating side excited you even more and made you moan pornographic. the more he squeezed and the more you moaned, after a while you felt your second orgasm coming. "ethan, I'll-" you didn't have time to finish your sentence. an orgasm washed over you, making you moan and roll your eyes. ethan kept moving, and you knew he was going to cum, you nibbled on his earlobe "go ahead, cum inside me." that's all he needed to end up in you. he leaned his forehead against yours and caught his breath.

with one hand he pulled up his boxers and his pants. he lowered you to the ground, but his other hand still remained around your neck. "ethan you can take your hand off."

suddenly he looked up and smiled at you, and his hand squeezed more and more around your neck, making you gasp for air. "ethan" you were trying to beg him to stop but he kept going. he passed his other hand behind his back, you hadn't seen what he had taken, but you felt it. it was a knife.

a knife he stuck in your stomach, you tried to scream, but ethan stopped you. he raised the knife higher and higher. you felt yourself dying little by little. he dropped you to the ground and watched you bleed out. after your last breath. he took his phone and called chad.

"chad, oh my god that's horrible. we got attacked by ghostface. y/n, she's dead."

[sanyu-thewitch05]

I keep thinking about Yandere husband fucking his cute,sexy wife while calling her his little slut/whore

A/N: So I didn't know if you were talking about an old oc or not, so I just made up a name for the husband. Also, happy holidays, and sorry this came out so late. I got caught up in holiday celebrations and sleep.

TW: Dubcon, general smut, breeding/impregnation kink, teasing

Your husband, Leroy Angelou, had kidnapped you almost a year ago. He kept you in his mansion, left hickeys to mark you, and forcibly spoiled you beyond comprehension. Of course said spoiling came with the price of having a tracker implanted into your wrist so you can't escape. But that didn't bother you much since Leroy made sure you never left the mansion's grounds. Not even to pick up mail. Now it's your wedding day and you've already arrived at your honeymoon spot in Colombia.

"Surprise, babe! I know you've always wanted to visit Colombia, so I picked out Playa Blanca so you can enjoy the beach and visit Cartagena!" Leroy exclaims, removing his hands from your eyes.

"Oh, thank you," You softly say, looking at the beef empanadas, pink alcoholic drinks, and chocolates.

"What? What is it? Do you not like the color of the rose petals on the bed?" Leroy asks frantically, holding your shoulders. "Do you not like the meat choice for the empanadas? I can get some chicken ones if you want."

"No, it's not that. It's..." You murmur looking at your wedding ring.

"Don't tell me you're mad that I married you? We said I do on the altar, and that's all. Aside from a couple of tax changes, it'll be no different than dating me," Leroy reassures, picking you up princess style. "We'll have a great honeymoon and marriage. I promise."

"Since we're married, I want changes. I want the tracker out of my arm, the ability to leave the mansion, and access my bank account again," You say, sitting on the bed.

Leroy chuckles and kisses your forehead. The feeling of absolute creepiness travels throughout your body.

"Of course, my love. I'll do everything you ask and more, on one condition. We consummate the marriage today," Leroy replies, pulling out pink lingerie with frills.

Your freedom for a few minutes of possible pain and more pleasure. You couldn't resist the deal he made. It was so easy to fulfill. But you never wanted this to be your first choice of gaining freedom again.

"Ok, but we'll do it at night. Eleven 'o'clock sharp," You recommend, caressing Leroy's face.

His face moves to your shoulders and he begins to kiss your neck. You push him away, making him sigh.

"I'll be ordering food for us in the lobby," Leroy says, getting off the bed and leaving the room.

When the door shuts, you wait fifteen minutes then make your escape. You run out of the room and go to the elevator. You press the second-floor button so you can run to the beach. When the elevator opens, you rush in not noticing your husband holding a bag of food.

"Sweetie, what are you doing out of the room?" Leroy asks, a hand snaking around your waist.

"I wanted to visit the beach," You reply, hoping Leroy doesn't notice your lie.

"Bullshit. I know when you lie," Leroy growls, spanking your ass.

"Sorry, sir," You squeak, surprising your husband.

"Sir, huh? You're so cute when you try to deny how you feel. Tell you what, I'll give you all the freedom if you take a good fucking from me."

Leroy's hand goes underneath your wedding dress and into your panties to tease your pussy. You can't bare his touch anymore and give in.

"Fine! I'll be your slutty little whore for tonight, just please make me cum!" You moan, holding Leroy's hand in place.

"Good girl," Leroy whispers, taking his hand out your panties as your floor comes up.

The two of you hurry into the hotel room, making sure to flip the little sign to do not disturb. Leroy unzips your dress and you take your panties off.

"Back on the bed, I wanna see all of you," Leroy commands, kissing your neck.

You whimper as his hands play with your clit as he positions you on the bed. He sticks his fingers in you, and you're practically riding them.

"Aw, I know my little slut was ready for me," Leroy coos, adding in more digits. "You want something bigger?"

"Please," You beg, your legs spread open.

"Aw, too bad. You'll have to wait until I'm done to get it," Leroy teases, slowing down the speed of his fingers.

"Please, please, please!" You beg, grabbing his hand.

"There you go," Leroy coos, speeding up his pace and finishing your foreplay. "Now you get your reward."

Leroy unbuckles his pants and pulls his member out of his underwear.

"Come and get it," Leroy says, letting you straddle him.

You slowly slide down on his dick as Leroy rubs your back to comfort you.

"Sh, you've almost got it. Just a slide down a bit-ah! more," Leroy encourages, kissing your neck. "There you go. You've got it."

You slowly start to ride Leroy, and your husband can't help but moan.

"I'm so glad you let yourself be a little slut for me. I can't wait to fuck you so good and have a family with you," Leroy rambles, thrusting his hips into you.

Leroy pushes you onto your back and taps your thigh for you to wrap your legs around his waist harder. He thrusts into your pussy like an animal in heat and doesn't care that his pants and underwear are down to his ankles. The sound of skin slapping together makes your mind go wild, and you beg for more.

"Leroy, fuck, I-" You moan, letting him make a hickey on your neck. "I love you!"

At those three simple words, Leroy cums inside you and collapses onto your chest. He pants as he kisses your collarbone. Shortly after that, you cum too and your body relaxes. You and your husband enjoy the feeling of each other's sweaty bodies.

"Come on, let's eat our dinner. I got us your favorite dessert too," Leroy says, pulling out of you and grabbing the bag of food. "Say ah, darling!"

"Ah!" You exclaim, gladly being fed by your husband.

"Good girl!" Leroy replies, kissing your cheek and gently rubbing your stomach.

[thebearer]

what about reader coming to the restaurant before family cause she had a bad day and carmen was pissed off about something wrong that happened but when he sees you looking up at him pouting, his demeanor switches so fast

"Fuck, Richie, can you quit fuckin' with me!" Carmen roars, slinging the bowl with a hard shove.

"Cousin, I'm not doin' shit to you, alright?" Richie seethes, rolling his eyes as the other chefs- the new hires- avoid eye contact. Carmen doesn't act erratically often, tried not to for his reputation's sake, but today was a bad day.

"Hey, cousin, you need to chill the fuck out, alright? Get it out of your fuckin' system now before dinner rush because those people," Richie pointed through the window, where there was an empty dining room- for now. It would be filled by six o'clock. "Will fuckin' see you actin' like a jagoff."

"I wouldn't act like a fuckin' jagoff if you would do what I fuckin' ask you to!" Carmen roared, eyes bulging and vein by his neck protruding.

"Hey, relax, alright." Richie grit, breathing deeply out his nose. "Go fuckin' take a break. We got it. Go see your girl or somethin'. Get that stress out, for fucksake."

"The fuck are you talkin' about-"

"Your girl has been in your office for this past twenty minutes while you were actin' like a moron." Richie snapped, Carmen's demeanor suddenly faltering. "Yeah, get embarrassed, cousin. She heard all that shit."

"Just- shut the fuck up, alright? Fuck you." Carmen huffed, stomping towards the office.

"Don't fuck me. Go fuck her. Get some of that fuckin' attitude out, holy shit." Richie snarled, rolling his eyes.

Carmen ignored him, walking through the door of the office. You sat at his desk, mindlessly scrolling though your phone, barely looking up when he walked in. "I swear to God, Richie's a fuckin' pain in my ass." Carmen started in, ignoring your solemn expression. "Fuckin' wise ass. Thinks he knows fuckin' everything, and you know what? He- What's the matter with you?" Carmen stopped his ranting and pacing, skidding to a stop to look at you. Your sad eyes and long face.

"Nothin'." You muttered, looking up at Carmen gently. "What did Richie do?"

Carmen shook his head, sitting on the desk in front of you. "Not important. Tell me what's wrong, hm? What's goin' on?"

You faltered for a moment, deciding to shake your head and ignore your emotions. "It's nothing, Carm-"

"-You're lyin' to me." Not a question, a fact. Carmen's raised brow to you that. "Why are you lyin' to me?"

"I'm not, it's just..." The shaky breath you took in, a strangled, watery gasp had Carmen's heart lurching. "I just had a really bad day." You hated the way your voice cracked, wobbling and wavering with emotions. You'd cried all the way here, the freshness of the tears coming back to you again, flooding your waterline.

"What happened, baby?" Carmen's tone dropped into a coo, a soothing balm over your teary demeanor.

"It's just... I don't know, I felt like I couldn't get anything right today, and-and I just... I'm really tired." You admitted with a small quake in your tone. "I just want this day to be over."

"Did someone say something to you?" You'd bitched a few times about a coworker making off handed remarks to you, and Carmen was more than happy to say something to him. He didn't mind at all, insisted on it, in fact.

"No, it wasn't Toby." You rolled your eyes at the mention of him. "He wasn't bad today, actually, which made it worse. I just, I don't know, my mind was all over the place today and I-I'm just stressed."

"I'm sorry, baby." Carmen rasped, hand on yours, rubbing his thumb across your knuckles.

"It's ok." You pouted, exhaling deeply. "I just want to go home and not have another fucking thought for the rest of the day.

"Wish I could help you with that." Carmen grinned, playfully, proud to see that you smirked, shaking your head at him. "'m serious. You need me to do anything?"

"No." You shook your head. "I'm starving, so I'm gonna eat and then go home. Sit in the bath until I dissolve." You grin lightly up at him.

Carmen smiled, leaning over to kiss you sweetly, hands cupping your face, tasting the saltiness of your tears still lingering on your lips. "Are you hungry now? I can get you somethin' to eat real quick, baby. What do you want?"

"No, Carmy, I'll be alright-"

"Hey, Marcus," Carmen was sticking his head out already. "You got any focaccia ready?"

"Yes, Chef, I have a few prepped-"

"-Gimme one, please. Thanks, Marcus." Carmen nodded, taking the bread, and passing it over to you.

You frowned at him. "I was fine, Carmy. Could've waited until family." You pouted, but you were already tearing the bread basket open, mouth watering at the sight.

Carmen grinned. "I know, but I don't want you to go hungry. Had to taste tonight anyways. Tell me what you think." He muttered, watching you tear off a piece.

[peacheeeliz]

016. friday. three o'clock. right here. (wc: 539)

warning ⤏ this is just a randomly named character!! not a kpop idol at all 🙏🙏 sorry for the confusion

The sight of the man's sly smirk leaves Mark's blood boiling, and the sinister glint in his eyes has him clenching his fist. He'd pounce on the man any second if it weren't for your tight grip on his arm, keeping some sort of barrier between the man and Hyuck, who stood behind the two of you. The contact between the both of you had his ears burning bright red, and thankfully, the piercing winter weather was a good excuse for his colorful ears.

“Aww, Hyuckie, I didn't know you had such a cute friend,” the man purrs, eyeing you slowly. He tilts his head, staring at you through his lashes; the sight alone sends a chill down your spine. “You guys wouldn't mind if I took her for a spin, would you?”

Your face scrunches up in disgust, but Mark is pushing you further from the man before you can say anything. “Over my dead body, Sim,” he growls.

“Oh drop the formalities, Mark,” the so-called ‘Sim’ says, placing a hand over his chest. “You guys know I prefer Changmin,” once again he turns to you and sends you a wink. “But I don’t mind babe, either, if it’s coming from you, sweetheart.”

“Alright, you can play your little games as much as you like,” Mark starts, grimacing at the look in Changmin’s eyes before he steps further in front of you. “Just leave Hyuck alone, ok? That’s all I’m asking.”

“Getting right down to business, I knew I always liked that about you,” Changmin teases, letting out a soft laugh. “But, I mean, what are you going to do? Huh? What is Mark Lee going to do to me?”

“I’ll leave you alone if you do the same to Hyuck,” Mark answers, quite curt with the man.

“And if I don’t? Are you going to hurt me? Beat the shit out of me?” Changmin continues, poking Mark in the chest as he laughed through his nostrils. “I’d like to see you try, really. I’m intrigued to know if you actually think you could.”

You pull on Mark’s arm gently, reaching up to whisper to him, “Mark, let’s just drop it.” He wants to disagree. He really does, but then he finally turns back to you. You nervously chew on the dead skin that hangs from your lips, and your eyes nervously avoid his.

“Fine, let’s go,” he whispers back to you, pulling away from the man. “Just forget it, Changmin. Stop fucking with my friends, alright?”

“Didn’t take you out to be such a pussy, Minhyung,” Changmin says blankly, rolling his eyes as he shoves his hands into his pockets. He again eyes you, “but, I guess the view of your friend is much better from back here.”

Mark turns on his heels quickly, shoving his finger into Changmin’s chest. “Friday, three o’clock, right here,” he spat, head reeling at the fact that all the man did was stand there and smirk at him. “You’re fucking done for, Sim. Done for.”

“Oh, I’m looking forward to it, Lee,” Changmin mocks, watching as you and Hyuck pull him away quickly. He lets out another laugh through his nostrils before turning around and making his way towards his class.

synopsis ⤏ mark, desperate to talk to the cute girl in his japanese class, forms a study group. who knew that other struggling college students might want to join a study group?

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[nyasiaaaaa]

Bonnie and Clyde 

Paring: JJ x fem Reader ( half-siblings) Rafe x fem Reader All the Pouges x fem Reader 

Summary: This story is about two people bonding over shared trauma, while one is learning to change for love the other struggles with having to pick between family and love; All while on the search for hidden treasure. 

Word Count: 2.6K

Warnings: Cussing ( that’s all I think lmk if I missed something)

A/N: Season 4 is not cannon in this Story, I started it before season 4 came out. This is a Rafe x reader. Y/n is JJ sister but they have different moms so you she can still be any race, ethnicity, etc there no description of Y/N ever. Y/N is older than JJ her age will be mentioned once. 

*********************

You paced back and forth in the hallway, nibbling at the skin on your thumb. 

Your nerves were bad, really bad. You can't remember if you have ever felt this scared; every time you breathed in air, bile rose with it. 

"Fuck ” you whispered to yourself as you glanced down and looked at your thumb, which was starting to bleed. 

"Ok, ok, ok," you said, taking a deep breath as you started to jump around, trying to hype yourself up to knock on the door in front of you. 

"I'm going to do it on three, yep, okay……" Your hand inched towards the door, but you pulled it away just as you were about to knock. 

You heard a door slam down the hall, causing you to snap your head in that direction. A man stood there looking at you with his head cocked to the side. You gave him a tight smile as you waved towards him. 

He didn't say anything; he just raised his eyebrows towards you in a questioning manner. 

"Oh, umm, I forgot my key", you laughed awkwardly, trying to get this man off your back. But he didn't seem pleased with your answer because he crossed his arms and continued to stare you down. 

"You know what I think? My mom's home, so let me just— "You said as you reached up, knocking on the door a couple of times. 

You stood there for what seemed like forever and was about to knock again when the door suddenly opened. In front of you stood a shaggy-looking white boy, who, from the looks of it, just woke up. He leaned against the door, rubbing the sleep off his eyes as he yawed. He had yet to look at you. When he finally did, he stared down at you, clearly confused about why you were on his doorstep. 

Sadly, you're confused, too. He's far too young to be the person you're looking for, but this is the address the man down at the police station gave you. 

"I uh- " You went to speak but then remembered the man from earlier who was still standing there, so trying to think quickly, you said the first thing that came to your mind. 

"Hey, bro, I left my key. I know I need to stop doing that. Mom's going to kill me one day",  you said to the mystery man as your eyes flicked back and forth between him and the man at the end of the hall.

You were praying that he would catch on and let you in even though you didn't know him and he didn't know you.

He squinted his eyes down at you, then looked out his door and down the hall towards where you were glancing. He nodded his head toward the stranger. 

"Sup," the guy said to the one down the hall.

The man still didn't look convinced, but it didn't matter now that you had this stranger playing along with you.

The man looked down towards you once more, then again at the man down the hall. He threw his hands up in defense as he spoke, "What? We have different moms." 

You stood there for a second, laughing awkwardly, before the man stepped back, allowing you into his home. As soon as you crossed the door, you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. 

The man shut the door and turned towards you, eyeing you for a second 

"Don't worry; he fought in World War 3, I think. He thinks he's the neighborhood watch or something", the man said to you as he walked to the kitchen. 

He opened the fridge and grabbed a beer. It was only 2 pm where you were, but you guess it was 5 o'clock somewhere. 

"Want one," he asked. He stretched his arm out towards you with a beer in his hand. 

"No, Thank you." 

He shrugged as he walked across the kitchen to the counter to pop the top off. 

You glanced around the apartment. It was nice but very, very messy. There were beer cans everywhere and takeout containers. The whole room smelled like the boys' locker room. 

Your fingers gripped the bag on your shoulder tighter as you started to second guess, knocking on his door. 

Silence fell over the two of you. You weren't sure what to say. He obviously wasn't the man you were looking for, but you didn't want to leave just yet, just in case that man was still out there. 

"So….. why are you wandering around the building? Are you lost? Are you looking for someone? I know pretty much everyone in the building. If you tell me who, I can tell you what floor and apartment." 

"Um", you were hesitant. You didn't know this man, and you didn't feel like sharing your business with every stranger who walked past. But at the same time, you were all out of leads and needed to be pointed in some direction. Honestly, you had nothing to lose. 

You dug in your backpack, looking for the paper the police officer gave you with the name and address of the person you were looking for. After a couple of minutes of digging, you found it. Folded with the paper was a picture of the man you were looking for, the only picture you had of him. You passed the paper along with the picture to the man.

"Yeah, umm, I'm looking for that man. A police officer told me I could find him here, but clearly, he's mistaken. Maybe he got the apartment number wrong, or maybe the guy hasn't updated his address yet. Do you perhaps know where I could find him?"  You rushed through words as you spoke.  You were nervous either way if he had known the guy or not. 

He didn't answer your question; instead, he gave one back to you: "Where did you get this"?  He looked up as he spoke, now meeting your eyes. 

You stepped forward and pointed to the women in the photo cuddled up next to him. 

"You see that woman right there? She's my mom." You smiled down at the photo, admiring it as if you hadn't seen it a thousand times before. 

The man's eyes shifted towards you for a second then back down to the photo, "and who that man next to her." 

"His name is Luke Maybank, and my mother said he's my father." 

The man suddenly pushed the photo into your hands and started to back away from you, as if suddenly aware of your closeness. He ran his fingers through his hair as he stared into the distance, his face scrunching up. 

You were confused by his reaction. Does he know this man after all? Could he help you find your father?

"Do you know this man? Do you know where I can find him?" You eagerly asked him, slowly walking towards him. 

The man continued to back away from you slowly. He shook his head back and forth as he spoke, "Nah, he's long gone. I don't know where he's at now, but trust me, you're better off without him. " 

Better off without him? You questioned what he meant.

"How do you know that? How do you know this man?"

"I know him because . . ." 

"Because … matter of a fact, who are you?" agitation could be heard in your voice as you spoke 

"My name is JJ Maybank." 

"May- Maybank, you tell me that you-"

"Yep, I'm his son." 

You stood there in shock. You opened and closed your mouth, unable to speak.

"Your brother." 

************************

You were now sitting on the couch, watching JJ pace back and forth in front of you. 

He pointed down at you, waving his hand around. "Okay, break it down for me again." 

Your head fell into your hands. You were exhausted. You'd been telling him the same story over and over again for over an hour. 

"My mom and I are going through old photos on her bed. She pulls out a photo from when she was younger. The photo I gave you. I asked her who the man next to her was, and she said he was your father. His name is Luke." 

"Luke, I am your father," JJ spoke in a deep voice. 

"What?" You asked, confused, which made JJ stop his frantic pacing and look at you

"You've never seen StarWars" 

"No" 

"We'll come back to that. So then your mom said that's your father; his name is Luke Maybank."

"No, I got that from the police officers down at the station, and they gave me this address."

"Cool, cool, okay. Well, all we have to do is ask your mom a couple of questions, and maybe she can clear this up for us." 

"We can't." 

"Uhh, why not." 

"She's dead, died a month ago." 

"Way to go, JJ," he whispered to himself. "Look, I-" he stared before you cut him off. 

"It's fine; there's no need to say sorry. I'm good; I just thought I would come looking for the only other family I thought I had left ….." 

"Well, I can't tell you where he's at. The last time I saw him, he was sailing away….

 in a stolen boat…..

 With stolen drugs in his pocket ......

escaping from the cops …..

After he broke out of jail."

"Wow," you said shocked 

"Yeah," he said, dragging the word out as he spoke. 

"That's a lot." 

"Yeah", he said with a slight chuckle which made you laugh too. 

A silence started to fall over the two of you, but you broke it with your question.

 "Is he really that bad? Would I be better off without him?"

JJ didn't answer you. He just nodded his head 

"Why? Because of his run-ins with the law." 

"Nahh, we've all had run-ins with the law." 

"Then what," you asked 

You know you're asking a lot of a person you just met, brother or not. But you've traveled all this way to find this man, and now you just, what, are you supposed to give up on finding him? You want an answer; you need one, but the way JJ's eyes are tearing up, you start to second-guess asking. 

"You don't have to share. I'm sorry for asking." 

JJ wiped his nose with the back of his hand. He straightened up, looking back towards you after having turned away from you when his eyes started to fill with water. 

"It's fine, yeah, it's whatever." 

"It's not whatever, but I'll stop asking", you said, giving him a small smile, which he returned. 

You got up and grabbed your bag, deciding it was time to leave. 

As you walked to the door, you heard JJ hot on heels. 

You reached down to grab the door, but JJ placed his hand on top of yours, stopping you.

"What, uh, I mean, where you going? You got a hotel you staying at?" 

"Why," you asked 

He shrugged his shoulders up and down as he started to back up from you 

"I don't know. I was thinking, uh, that maybe we could get some food or something. Talk get to know each other." 

Although the idea didn't seem crazy, you didn't want to build something just to leave. 

"I don't. . .  , JJ I only came to town to find my dad now that I know he's not here and that he isn't the best man. I think I should just move on with my life and settle down somewhere." 

"You not going back to your mom's house?" He sounded concerned as he spoke 

"No, I sold the house to pay my mom's medical bills." 

"So where you going." 

"Wherever the bus takes me."  

"Nope, that's not going to work. You're going to stay here with me", he said, leaving no room for an argument as he walked away.

"JJ, we just met. You don't know me; I don't know you." 

"I don't need to know you; you're my sister," he said, stating the obvious. 

"Yeah, but you don't know me; everything I just told you could be a lie. I could actually be here to murder you." 

"Well, were you" 

"Was I what" 

"Lying"

"No"

"Well then, problem solved" 

"I -"you tried to speak but lost the word 

You just stand there looking at him. He looks at you with the most goofy grin spread across his face. 

You don't know who's crazier, JJ for offering or you for considering. 

"Well, where would I sleep? Cause the couch can only do for so many weeks." 

"Yesss," JJ whipped out as he did a little fist bump in victory. 

He walked over to the furthest door to the left and threw the door wide open. You walked closer to get a better look. It was a bedroom. It was nice— small but nice. It had a closet, dresser, nightstand, and a twin-size bed against the wall. It was pretty clean, too. Actually, it seemed like the cleanest room in the house. 

You looked over to find JJ leaning against the door frame, smiling at you as if he had won. 

"We just met," you stated once again 

"And?" 

"You're crazy." 

"You are too", he said before leaning closer to you and whispering, "It must run in the family." 

You playfully pushed him away as you stared at him, shock written all over your face. 

"I don't have any rent money." 

"It's fine. You'll find a job. I know some people."  He spoke casually, but you could tell by his eyes that he was anxiously awaiting your final answer. 

You just met this man, literally two hours ago. Are you seriously about to live with him? He could be a serial killer, and he might not even be your brother. Millions of reasons why you shouldn't run through your head, but it didn't matter because you already made up your mind. If he really is your brother, he's all you have left, and after everything you've gone through, regardless of the fact that you barely know him, you're not willing to give that up. 

"So what's there to eat around here", you asked, genuinely smiling for the first in months.

"Hell Yeah," JJ yelled in excitement, then threw his arm around your shoulder, which you quickly shoved off. 

"Yep, sorry. We got pretty much everything and obviously fresh seafood, " he said, walking towards the fridge, which had a bunch of takeout menus on it. 

"Mmm, Maybe seafood. I've never had it," you said, looking over one of the menus. 

JJ turned to you in shock as he gasped loudly, "You've never had seafood." 

"No, is it good" 

"The best. Here, we'll order from there. I can get us a discount. I know the people who run the restaurant," he said as he passed you to a menu for The Wreck. 

You started to glance over the menu but got distracted when you caught JJ looking down at you. 

"What ?" You asked 

"Nothing. Just realizing there's a lot I have to teach you, little sis." 

"Little? What year were you born." 

"2004"

"I'm sure I have just as much to teach you, little brother,"  you said, laughing as you walked away to find your phone.

JJ quickly followed you, clearly in disbelief. "There is no way you were born in what year." 

"2003, little brother" 

"Wowww" 

"Yep, now come on. I'm hungry", you said as you began dialing the restaurant's number on your phone before handing it to JJ. 

You glance up at him, and as you watch him order your guys' food, you can't help but smile. This is crazy—you’re crazy, he's crazy. You just met this man, and yeah, he's your brother, but you don't know him. This is too soon and crazy. 

You keep saying this to yourself, but you don't seem to truly care 

Shit 

Maybe crazy does run in the family.

[gingerlee-holds]

Ok ok so and idea for a fic: Alastor broadcasts one of his frequent tikl attacks on Vox so everyone in hell knows about his weakness (any length is fine)

oh!!! thank you for the idea and request anon/lovebug!! i hope you enjoy this!! its not directly related to the series im currently writing about ler!alastor, but its related, so maybe its on the same storyline just in the future- enjoy!!

aaaa i absolutely did not proofread this so ignore the terribleness xD

Tune On In

Words: 2228 Warnings: not proofread lmao- also mentions of alastor's violent tendencies but its offhanded

Pentagram City, among the only metropolitan areas in Hell, was bustling. Cars honked in endless traffic, clubs blared out noisy music, guns were fired, and demons screamed in agony or ecstasy, often both. There were a few moments when the city was blissfully serene, though these were rare occurrences accompanied by tragedy. For instance, after the formerly annual Exterminations, the entire city held its breath for the toll of the clock tower to signal that they were spared. These minutes of agonizing silence were rarely enjoyed, though.

There was only one other time when Pentagram City was so quiet: when the Radio Demon made a broadcast. Each radio and speaker in the city played the single, agonizing transmission. The hair on the neck of every sinner rose in fear, and every overlord held their breath. The terror and respect Alastor garnered by broadcasting the suffering of his victims made him the second most feared being in Hell, second only to Adam. Now, though, the commander of the Exorcists had been disposed of, meaning Alastor now had the top spot. And when the speakers across Pentagram City suddenly became overwhelmed by static, the Radio Demon smiled to himself, knowing he had the rapt attention of every demon in the Pride ring. 

"Testing, testing~! Is this thing on?" Alastor's voice echoed through the now-silent streets. “Salutations, sinners! Thank you all for joining me on this lovely morning! The temperature today is a downright balmy eighty-six degrees, and we're getting reports of a chance of acid rain in the southside around ten o'clock, so keep those umbrellas ready, folks! Now, I'm sure you're all wondering who I have with me as today's special guest on the program, and I'm thrilled to introduce him~!" 

Alastor spun around in his chair, grinning with delight at his victim, who lay on the floor of his recording studio, bound by magic tendrils. The businessman glared up at him, mouthing, "Don't you fucking dare," to no avail.

"Yes, it is my absolute pleasure to welcome everyone's favorite wannabe, the overrated picture box himself~! Everyone give a hand to Vox, CEO of VoxTek Enterprises and peddler of the same useless trinkets and gizmos corrupting today's youth! Yes, a big hand for the pixellated prince!" Alastor pressed a button on his soundboard to play a recording of raucous applause. 

Velvette looked up from her phone, blinking with realization. She cringed and looked over at Valentino, who looked like he was about to throw another tantrum. "How was he stupid enough to get himself captured?" she mumbled as she ran to the security cameras. Alastor continued his monologuing as Velvette watched, dumbfounded, the recording of Vox reading a letter before storming into a power outlet. She looked behind her as Val grabbed the letter from the table and began to read it silently, fuming.

Alastor wanted to prolong this as much as possible. "How have your stocks been doing, old pal?" he asked innocently, extending his microphone staff for his guest. 

"Just fine." The mic was sensitive enough to pick up Vox's angry sparks and glitched voice as he spoke, struggling to seem level-headed now that he was being recorded. 

The Radio Demon giggled. "Any new products you'd like to promote?"

"No."

"Ah, but enough of business. Let's get on to business!" Alastor laughed at his pun, standing up to walk around his victim. "You're very nervous, chum!"

"Get real. This has got to be the trashiest- ACK-" Vox froze mid-sentence as Alastor pressed the tip of his cane on one of his antennae. 

"Careful. Don't forget whose guest you are~!"

Vox growled in annoyance and squirmed a bit in Alastor's magic. He hadn't even bothered to wear his suit before running over, which he regretted as he lay on the floor in a button-up shirt and slacks. Looking down, his heart sank further: he was still wearing his slippers. 

Alastor removed his cane, walking towards those slippers. "Still pissed I almost beat you that time~?" 

"Uh… fuck you!" Vox snapped. 

"Just saying~!" Alastor grinned. 

Val looked up from the letter. "He stole my line. That bitch! He stole my goddamned line! I swear, I'm gonna-" he growled before storming off, leaving the paper on the table. 

Velvette quickly ran over and skimmed, murmuring to herself. "'To whom it may concern,' blah blah, 'scheduled for a meeting,' yada yada, 'meet an associate at 6 to…'" She stopped and squinted at the page. "Hell does 'vouchsafe' mean?" Her brows furrowed as she connected the dots. Alastor must have sent this letter to lure Vox out, and Vox, thinking he was late for a meeting, ran from the tower without telling anyone. "That idiot!" she yelled, punctuated by Val throwing a wine glass against a wall two rooms down. 

Alastor let a sinister chuckle escape his lips. "I think you have some things you should share with our dear audience! For instance, what exactly did you suggest I do seven years ago?" He waited patiently for the question to sink in.

"I- what?" Vox raised an eyebrow, not seeming to understand.

"Seven years ago, you came to me with a proposition. What exactly was it?"

The question finally clicked for Vox, but he scowled at the Radio Demon. He'd die before he gave that prick the satisfaction. He stayed silent, sparks shooting around his body. 

"Suddenly, the chatter-box is quiet~! Such strange times we live in. Don't worry, folks, I know how to make our guests talkative~!" Alastor quickly used his cane to flick away Vox's slippers. 

Demons looked away from their radios, wincing preemptively at the agony they were about to hear. Overlords felt beads of sweat rolling down their faces. Velvette leaned closer to the radio, pursing her lips, nervously fiddling with the pens on the table. Vox squeezed his eyes tightly shut, expecting Alastor to break his toes any moment now.

The moment stretched on. Vox tried to hold his breath, but when he couldn't, he finally exhaled slowly, and when he did, the Radio Demon struck.

“H-heehee- n-nohow wahahait, hohOld oHon a sehhec-!” Vox shot upward, looking down to see Alastor lying on his stomach, his legs swinging behind him as he gently traced one claw up and down Vox's sock. “T-theheere’s n-noho wahahy youhuhu're- c-cuhuhut ihihit ohuhut!”

"Hm, feeling a bit bubblier, are we~?" Alastor grinned impishly, slowly adding the rest of his fingers to scribble over Vox's feet. Now realizing what the Radio Demon had in store for him, Vox clamped his mouth shut, every muscle in his body straining to contain his laughter. An electric current had formed between his two antennae with the effort he was using.

Suddenly, Alastor's voice appeared next to his ear. "Go on, you little gigglebug, let it all out~!" Vox shot a glance sideways to see Alastor's shadow whispering to him. "Besides, we both know you're far too ticklish to resist~!"

"F-FuhUhuhUCK! YoUhuHUHU oHohOLD-TihIhIMEy PRiHihiHICK!!!” Vox snorted and arched his back as much as he could. Teasing was just too much!

Velvette's shoulders relaxed a bit. It didn't seem like Vox was in trouble… However, when she double-checked her phone, she saw that social media was blowing up about the CEO of VoxTek being tickled, which had unfortunate results on the company's stocks. At least she could rest a bit easier knowing that her friend- no, business associate was in no real danger. She was shaken out of her thoughts by another staticky shriek.

"Come now, I know you wanna tell all our lovely viewers about how you-"

"NoHoHOHO!" Vox shook his head, but his eyes bugged out when he felt tendrils squeezing at his hips. 

"And now~? Let's change that channel~!"

"OKAHAHAY!! OKAhAhahAHAY! FuhUhuhUCK!!" Alastor slowed down but didn't stop the gentle tickles to keep Vox in a giggly state of embarrassment. 

"Go on~! What did you propose to me all those years ago~?"

“T-thahat… thahahat youhuhu chahahange youhuhur nahahame tohoho Vahalahastor-!” Vox’s screen turned red as he remembered the thought.

Alastor cued the laugh track again. "That's right! Since you wanted me to become a member of your polycule so much-!"

“IT’S NOT A POL- EEHEHEHEEEK!” Vox's indignant shout was cut off by a squeal he couldn't contain when he felt Alastor's claws scribbling against his shoulder blades. 

"Now, next question!" Alastor pretended not to hear the squealing mess on his recording studio floor. "When we fought those years ago, who won~?"

"NEhehHITHER!!" Vox desperately tried to weasel his way out of the question and his tickles, but with both, Alastor kept him pinned. 

"Technicalities!" Alastor smirked and added shadowy tendrils to the back of Vox's knees as punishment for his insolence. "Nobody technically won, but only because…?"

“THEHEHE VEEHEEHEES!!!” Vox bluescreened as electric shocks flew off in every direction, making Alastor step back a bit and slow down again. “Theehehe Veeheehees cahahame in ahahand sahahahved meehehehe!” 

"Right, since I was about to win~!" 

Vox growled in frustration, trying to get his composure back. "Yeah, but how about that fight with Adam? Talk about- ACK-!" Vox was again cut off by the cane on his antennae, and he looked up into the face of the radio demon, with eyes in the shape of dials and horns extended. A radio hiss filled the studio, echoing out across the city. 

Alastor waited a few moments before responding. "Many nasty rumors are going around about me, Vox, mostly thanks to you. Only one is completely and wholly true, and it's this." He bent down close to Vox's face, making him flinch away. "I do have a special appetite for the flesh of other demons. Vox, my good old friend, I need you to know I am famished at the moment."

"Y-yeah-? W-well-" Vox tried to think of something clever but came up short. "Y-you're not going to eat me, Al! I'm all wires. Wouldn't taste good!" 

Alastor hummed in thought. "Perhaps you're right. I have a refined palette, and junk food would just ruin my mood." He smirked at the insulted stammering Vox let out before continuing. "However, I just can't resist a little taste~!"

"What? WaitwaitAlasTOHOHOHOR!!!!” Of all the things Vox expected from his worst nemesis, nothing could have prepared him for when Alastor bent down and began gently nibbling his teeth over Vox's ribs through his shirt. Oh, he would never hear the end of this from anyone. 

"Final question," Alastor chuckled. "What is your biggest weakness~?"

'Oh, fuck, no, please don't make me say it!' Vox's mind raced. Was Alastor seriously going to- 

The Radio Demon let out a raspberry on the middle of his ribcage, sending him into silent hysterics. Yep, Alastor was going for the kill… metaphorically. 

"IHIHIHI'M!! IHIHIHIHIEAHAHAHAHA!!! AHAHAHAL!!!" Vox tried getting the words out, the words he knew would spare him from this hellish tickling. Alastor, mercifully, stopped and let Vox catch his breath, pointing the microphone on his staff to Vox's face. Vox sighed, feeling the built-in fans on his head whirring crazily to cool him down. He whimpered softly, defeated and made into a giggly mess, so he mumbled pathetically, "I'm deathly t-tihihicklish…"

"Yes, indeed he is, ladies and gentlemen! Thank you so much for joining us today. I hope it was as enjoyable for you as it was for me! Although, I know Vox appreciated it the most~! Tune in next time for another exclusive interview~! Vox, will you be coming back on the show?"

"N-nohohoho…" Vox tried to hide his face in the tendrils but wasn't very successful. 

"What a shame! We have so many more laughs to share, don't you think~? I'm sure we'll all hear from you again soon~!" With that, Alastor flipped a switch, and the studio's large 'ON AIR' sign turned off. Across the city, speakers began playing their regular music again, and the city's noise returned in all its chaotic, messy beauty once more. 

The radio demon released his tendrils, and the businessman slowly and wearily rose to his feet. Every muscle shook, and he leaned against the wall for support. "This… This isn't over. You won't get away with this." He turned back and glared daggers at Alastor, sparks shooting off his hands.

"I have! Now, don't dawdle! You need to address the media~!" Alastor pointed out the window, and Vox turned to see a gathering crowd of reporters and camera crews assembling around the front of the hotel. 

"F-fuck." 

"Off you go~!" With a gentle push, Alastor sent Vox on the most embarrassing walk of his life as he stumbled through the hotel, his slippers in hand. 

Charlie, face glued to the front window nervously, whirled around when she heard footsteps. "Oh! Please, come again soon!" She smiled and waved at the demon, who simply huffed.

"I won't," he said under his breath, pushing open the doors to be greeted by reporters shouting and snapping pictures. What a mess. 

When he finally got back to V Tower, he got quite the earful from both Velvette and Valentino. However, when they were alone together, Velvette grinned and scribbled a hand over Vox's ribs to make her friend giggle. It was cute, and goodness knows she needed a stress reliever now and then. Maybe she had to thank Alastor sometime for unintentionally gifting her such precious information. At least Vox didn't lose a limb in there: only every last shred of his dignity.

[amiserableseriesofevents]

I just saw this GIF of Austin and my mind immediately went to this pic of Callum, and inspiration was just around the corner like that so here's a little Drabble set in the Such Stuff universe, a few years in the future ♡

John slumps in the armchair with an annoyed sigh, checking the clock on the screen of his laptop for the umpteenth time; Buck is late, and it's getting more and more frustrating with every passing minute. They had agreed for eight o'clock where John is, seven for Gale; it's now closer to eight thirty, John is hungry, but he can't possibly leave the laptop unattended to fix himself dinner because Buck could call any minute now.

He's beginning to understand how Buck feels when he's the one away from home, jumping from one city to the other while on tour. And for the same reason he knows he can't be offended if Buck is late, because he's away for work too – some kind of training course for high school teachers, four days out of state on a full-paid trip. Buck couldn't refuse of course, he was actually pretty thrilled about it, and John told him he could hold the fort for a few days without him.

And he has, without a problem, thank you very much. He's cleaned the house, he's been out with Meatball and his other two parents, he's read his lines, he event went to the gym. But now it's the evening, and John is lonely, and Buck is fucking late to their videocall.

John almost whoops out loud when the screen finally comes to life and he sees Buck's little icon pulsating at the center – a pic of Saturn, his favorite planet.

“You're here!” John says the moment the call goes through, unable to bite back a smile.

Gale appears on the screen, a little blurry at first and then in his full splendor with a blue shirt that compliments his eyes, behind him what little John can see of the room they've put him in – a canopied bed, a cream colored wall and a few paintings. Buck looks tired, but happy. “Sorry I was so late, the last speaker really couldn't stop talking,” he says with a smile stretching to the side. “You miss me?”

“I'm coping,” John blatantly lies, and by the way Buck's smile widens he knows he doesn't believe him. “Why all the stretching? Are you ok?”

“Just stiff, been sitting on my ass all day. I could use one of your massages,” Buck tells him with a knowing smirk.

Oh, so this is how we're doing it? Ok.

John grins right back at him. “Don't worry Buck, I'll take care of ya when you come back. I'll take care of ya real good,” he tells him, lowering his voice a little in the way he knows Buck likes.

“Oh yeah? I'm probably gonna need it, I'm so stiff... so sore...” Buck trails off with the fakest sigh John has ever heard. “What do you think I'd need to feel better?”

John leans forward, arms crossed on the table, a fond smile on his lips. “I'll tell you all about it in a bit, Professor Cleven,” he says, relishing in the way Buck's breath hitches at those words even through the screen. “But first, I wanna know everything about the evolution of algebra. Tell me, how is she?”

[strawberries-and-summer-days]

NICE TO OFFICIALLY MEET YOU ‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅

| percy jackson x popstar au

| au masterlist ☽

warnings: swearing and i think thats just about it!

a/n: writers block hit so hard guys its not even funny apt. anyway hope you enjoy pt 3!! im also using show! clarisse as my description

"LIA!!!!" you screech when you storm into the apartment. when she doesn't reply you get even more pissed. who the hell wakes someone up at 2 am tell them they desperately need to come over to their house now because its an emergency and then proceed to lock them out in the cold for half a goddamn hour.

"lia i swear to god im going to kick your fucking ass back to london if you don't come out here right now," you yell not even caring at this point if you wake anyone up.

"heyyy bestie," lia says coming out of the kitchen with a smile. "so glad you could make it."

from the threatening look on your face, her smile quickly fades. "ok, ok so i know its early-"

"its two-fucking-am lia, you're so very lucky that i don't kill you for this because for some reason, i've grown attached to your need self."

"i'm irreplaceable," she says. "anyway thats not why i called you here, i met some people on the subway the other day who want to meet you."

"you called me here.... to meet fans?" you say in a deathly calm tone. "lia... ITS 2:30 IN THE MORNING COULDN'T THIS WAIT UNTIL I DUNNO LIKE TEN?" you yell launching after her.

"no it couldn't wait! because this is a secret meeting, huhhh? how cool is that?" lia says running away from you into the living room. you follow after her determined to actually kill the little shit but stop short when you see three people standing and watching the ordeal.

two girls and a boy - the boy is jumping up and down with barely restrained excitement, the blonde girl is smiling, and the final girl is just watching with barely restrained boredom.

"y/n, this is grover, clarisse and annabeth." lia motions to the three of them.

you smile as politely as one can at 2:30 am and say hi back. the boy - grover - is still practically buoyant when you look at him, and its generally concerning how much energy he has.

"soo, uh what's up?" clarisse says awkwardly.

"yeah y'know nothing much, just being dragged out of bed at 2 o'clock in the morning to meet some people- by the way does he ever stop jumping?" you point to a still jumping grover. "like dude its wayy to early to be this energetic."

"no. unfortunately he's like this all the time," the brunette - clarrise - says.

"i'm sorry," grover interrupts, "im just such a huge fan of you. and i would've gotten into trouble if i had told my friend we were meeting you so thats why its at such an awful hour."

"your friend doesn't like me?"

"... he's not your biggest fan thats for sure."

☾. ⋅

yn.official

liked by underovergrover, lia.mandel, rileywest maisiehpeters, gracieabrams and 1, 268, 941 others

yn.official life recently...

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lia.mandel girls night was fun!! @/rileywest sad ur leaving again

riley.west im afraid london calls babes i'll see you girls when i get back

yn.official can't wait 🤍

user1 OMGGG SHE'S IN THE STUDIO?? AHHH

user2 what is with the studio pic?!?!?!?

user3 grover (one of percy's friends) liked the post they're totally fucking

user4 ew can you not be so gross?? just leave percy and y/n alone

user5 im dyinggg until my show!! only 3 to go ahhh

user6 THE STUDIO PIC?? AND ON TOP OF THAT THE TOUR ENDING AND PERCYY/N RUMOURS?? my heart can't take this anymore.

☾. ⋅

percyjackson

liked by underovergrover, chris.rodriguez, lukecastellan, clarisse.la.rue, the.annabethchase, lia.mandel, rileywest and 863, 459 others

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user1 NO NO PLS NOT THE MATCHING CAPTIONS ONE MINUTE WITHIN EACH OTHER ITS SO OBVIOUS

user2 he's so hot it hurts guys

user3 THE POSTS?!?!? AT THE SAME TIME!!!!

underovergrover that was an awful party man just thought i should let you know

percyjackson thanks g man i had absolutely no idea maybe next time don't text me abt how awful it is in front of the hosts

user4 THE MATCHING CAPTIONS AND THEIR FRIEND LIKING THE OTHERS POSTS. MAKE IT MORE OBVIOUS WOULD YOU??

user5 i ship them so hard fr

user6 yeah but there is literally ANOTHER girl in the post

the.annabethchase i wonder what amazing girl is in the second photo...

☾. ⋅

"fucking y/n," percy grumbles. "i cannot do a single thing without her showing up," he scoffs throwing the phone down onto the car seat beside him. he's currently sat outside a prestigious event - for what? who knows - contemplating whether he should go in because he knows for a fact the-person-who-shall-not-be-named is in there.

sighing he picks his phone up again and gets out of the car heading towards the bustling entryway to the building. men and women in fancy dresses and suits line the hallways as and elevators as he makes his way to the rooftop.

grover and luke are already here so his first goal is to find them, avoid being sucked into any weird business deals and do not under any circumstances run into y/n.

the elevator opens and he moves out onto the rooftop, the cool breeze brushing his face, the smell of alcohol and perfume fills the air. its almost peaceful as he makes his way to the edge of building leaning on the railing to take in the view.

"quiet a view isn't it?" a voice comes from beside him.

aw fuck.

he spins around and comes face to face with the one person he was determined to avoid.

"nice to officially meet you percy jackson," you say holding out your hand.

he takes it to be polite, "right back at you y/n l/n."

☾. ⋅

☾. ⋅

TAGLIST‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅ [if you're name is white it mean i couldn't tag you]

@lauptimist, @itzmeme, @mariaaaaaahhhh, @paankhaleyaar, @maybxlle,

@lara20aral, @cxp1d, @user-3113s-blog, @pleasingregulus,

@avihashearts4lix, @inlovewithmorales, @brokecollegebitch, @user-3113s-blog, @officiallyalbino

@gloryhaddock [if you want to be added just let me know!]

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Here’s a good one, how about a one shot of Adam being a trophy husband to Lucifer

ok I think I may have a problem

That makes two of us! Trophy husband Adam 💖

At first Adam didn't understand what Angel meant when he called him a trophy husband. Yeah, he knew he was a fucking catch but he didn't know what that was.

"It means you don't do anything other than look good for your husband and get fucked by him." Angel explained as they lounged one day.

"I don't do anything else?" Adam had asked.

"Buddy, friend, best bitch of mine. You can't cook for shit, you sure as shit don't clean. Lucifers a King, he has people for that anyway. You're hot and a great lay." Angel sipped his drink. "Trophy husband."

At first Adam didn't know how to feel, cause yeah those things were true but hearing it from someone else made it sound like he was useless.

The idea of doing housework made that feeling go away.

He didn't mind it as much as he thought he would. Currently, Adam had taken to lounging around by the pool at their manor. It was actually a decent day in Hell, not too hot a small breeze in the air.

Adam was drinking a tequila sunrise as he scrolled on his phone, sunglasses on to keep Hell's light out of his eyes. He'd call it sunshine but that wasn't even close to what it was.

"There you are." Adam looked up when he heard his husband's voice and smiled as he came over. "Thought I'd find you here."

Adam set his drink down. "Someone might as well use this area, you don't."

Lucifer hummed, he placed his hand in Adam's hair at the base of his horns before dipping down to kiss him. "I'm always too busy to use the pool. Besides, you're not in it you're beside it."

"Still using the space."

Lucifer shook his head. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a credit card. "Go get yourself something nice to wear. I'm taking you out tonight."

Adam took the plastic card. "How fancy are we going?"

"Semi-formal. Nothing too crazy."

"Aww, and to think I was gonna drip diamonds." Adam joked, he laughed when Lucifer tickled his neck. "Luci stop!"

"You'll look good no matter what. Six o'clock, I'll meet you out front." Lucifer gave him one more fleeting kiss before taking off.

Adam got up, he'd call Angel to see if he'd want to tag along. Maybe get him a few things too. A shopping spree was in order.

He had to look good for his husband after all.

[w2soneshots]

Oblivious -W2S

words: 1.5k

warnings: light smut, alcohol consumption.

summary: you realise that you and Harry aren’t ‘just friends’

Liked by freyanightingale and 720,184 others

y/username: 🫶

-comments-

wrotoshaw: wow

faithlouisak: unbelievable❤️🔥

taliamar: 🥵🥵🥵

y/nfanpage21: the most beautiful woman ever

user29368103: HARRYS COMMENT!!??

Today I'm having a party to celebrate my new apartment and the entire group: Josh and Freya, Simon and Talia, Ethan and Faith, Vik, JJ, Tobi and Harry are all coming. I've already brought a load of alcohol, plastic cups and a speaker (since I accidentally left my last one at my old place). I met everyone through Talia, we've been best friends since high school so when she met Simon I began being invited to parties and eventually just became apart of the group. When Faith met Ethan around two years ago she immediately fit right in and we quickly became great friends, I was there for her during her entire pregnancy with Olive (who is staying at Faith's mum's house tonight so the couple can have fun) and always offer to look after the toddler whenever needs be.

The party begins at 7:00 o'clock so I began getting ready at around 5. I straightened my hair, applied some makeup and got dressed into a nude, lacy body suit along with some low waisted blue jeans and some matching nude heels. I then took some pics for insta and by the time I was finished it was 6:45. I dimmed the lights slightly, turned on the speaker and began playing the loud music from my phone. A few minutes later there was a knock on my door. I quickly traveled towards it and swung it open to reveal Simon, Talia and JJ. With a big smile I led them into the room "come on in!" "First here ya know!" JJ said loudly. "Ye because you came with us you're usually late." Simon stated with a chuckle. "Oi low it fam!" JJ retaliated.

Freya and Josh arrived soon after then Tobi, Ethan and Faith, Vik and finally Harry. Once everyone was here the fun really began. With the music blasting, drinks in everyone's hands (except Tobi's) all four of us girls stood in a circle dancing drunkenly. I glanced over to the boys who were all sat on and around my couch, I caught Harry's eyes. I smiled sweetly at him and he returned it.

A few minutes later I decided to go to the bathroom. Once I was in there I quickly fixed up my makeup and washed some of the sticky alcohol off my arm from where Talia had accidentally spilled her drink. As I opened the door to leave, while trying to manoeuvre one of my heels so it wasn't digging into my foot, I banged directly into Harry. "Shit, sorry!" he blurted out. I laughed "it's fine, I should have been watching when I was going!" As I looked up at him properly I noticed that he was looking at me slightly differently. I smiled "What?" I asked with furrowed brows. "Oh, nothing." he said and moved around me to enter the bathroom. "Strange?" I thought, but I just shrugged my shoulders and walked back into the living room/kitchen.

After a few hours once almost everyone was pissed we decided it'd be fun to play truth or dare. We all sat around the on the couch, floor or extra chairs brought from the kitchen area into the circle we'd created. When everyone was sat we began. "Me first!" JJ shouted throwing his hand into the air. "Go on then." Josh said. "Ok... Simon truth or dare?" JJ shouted once again. Simon rolled his eyes "for fuck sake, truth." JJ giggled mischievously "have you ever done anal?" Talia grimaced "yes." Simon said glancing over to Talia who now sat with her head in her hands, embarrassed.

The game continued and the questions and dares just got worse... "Vik, truth or dare?" Ethan asked. "Dare." Vik replied. "Umm... I dare you to do a shot of... sambuca and tomato sauce." Ethan said confidently. We all turned to stare at him "uh, what?" I said and we all burst out laughing, our drunkenness making it hilarious. "I wasn't expecting tomato sauce!" Josh said through laughter. Vik did the shot and it looked absolutely disgusting.

Once it finally became my turn Faith asked "y/n, truth or dare?". I sighed "truth." She thought for a moment "ok, have you ever had a sex dream about anyone here?" My eyes widened, I wasn't expecting Faith to ask a question like that. I looked around the room. I'm sure no one will remember this tomorrow anyway... "yes I have." I blushed and grabbed a pillow to cover my face. I heard a few gasps "no fucking way... who?" Freya questioned. "Wasn't part of the question." I mumbled into the pillow. When everyone calmed down I removed my face from the pillow and quickly moved on to someone else, "Tal your turn."

After Talia it came back to JJ "wait Harry hasn't been!" he stated. "Bog truth or dare?" Ethan asked. "Truth." he said simply. "Have you ever thought about any one here as more than a friend?" Ethan said jokingly gesturing to himself. "Yes." he said. Everyone quickly looked at him and he looked shocked at himself. "Who?" Ethan questioned even though there was realistically only person it could be... me, assuming he's not gay or has a crush on one of his friends birds, but surely not right? I mean I guess he's been a little more complementary lately and there's been a few weird looks, I've caught him staring a few times, he's been commenting on my posts, his breath hitched strangely once when I lent over him to grab my phone... oh. my. fuck.

"Who?" I said seriously, standing up. He just stared. The room fell silent and my heart sunk. I left the room and entered my bedroom. I feel really weird right now, how could I be so oblivious. I was sat on my bed with my head in my hands when there was a knock on the door, "y/n, It's us can we come in?" I heard Faith say from the other side of the door. I sighed slightly in relief "come in!" I said. The door creaked open and Talia, Freya and Faith walked into the room. Freya and Faith sat ether side of me on the bed and Tal squatted in front of me. "Surely you knew?" Talia said. "No, now I think about it I don't know how I didn't notice." I said. "Do you like him?" Faith asked putting emphasis on the "you" and "him". I inhaled "I dunno... maybe?" All three girls jumped slightly "you do!" Freya shouted. I shushed her "they'll hear you!" I said.

After a few minutes once I'd calmed down I said "I should really speak to him." They all nodded "do you want me to go get him?" Tal asked. I nodded, now nervous. They left and a few minutes later Harry stood at my door "come in." I said looking up at him from the bed. He shut the door behind him and sat next to me. "Im sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I was gonna talk to you I just couldn't find the right time-" he started. "You don't need to apologise." I said looking up to him through my eyelashes. Our eyes looked, something washed over me (probably drunk confidence) and I leaned forward connecting our lips. He froze slightly at first but quickly melted into it. My hands roamed through his hair as his stayed firmly at my waist. I removed one of my hands from his hair and placed it onto his hand, I moved his hand so it rested on my ass.

He pulled me forward slightly so I swung my leg over him so I sat on his lap. He groaned quietly when I sat. With both his hands now firmly on my ass I pulled away "Wait." He furrowed his brows "did I do something wrong?" I laughed slightly "no, just give me two seconds." I said and jumped off of him. I opened my bedroom door and walked into the living room. Everyone looked to me, I smiled lightly then leaned down so my mouth was close to Talia's ear. "Harry's gonna stay so can you get everyone to leave?" I whispered so only she could hear. She widened her eyes at me then nodded. I smiled then ran back towards the bedroom.

The smile stayed on my face as I sat back on Harry's lap "there gone." I said with my hands around his neck. He smirked then stood from the bed with me in his arms. He lay on the bed with me under him. "Just for the record, that sex dream was about you." I whispered and his eyes closed as he let out a deep sort of growl.

[youling-the-ghost]

sfth incorrect quotes pt.5 because who needs a normal hobby anyway (the generator I used)

Luke: That's a nice arguement, Sam. Why don't you back it up with a source? Sam: My source is that I made it the fuck up! Luke: How high are you? Tom: Mm, I don’t know how to say it in feet. Sam: No, he's asking what drugs are you on. Tom: Oh, antidepressants, why? AJ: Where the devil is Tom? Luke: Well, it is raining outside… Maybe he melted? Sam: Shall I look outside for a tiny, ill-fitting hat?

Sam: If bees can be fish and boys can be girls, then why can't my dad love me? Tom: I thought I was going to have to yell at you, but now I think I should hug you.

Luke walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Tom, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK. Tom, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :) Sam, after sneaking into AJ’s bedroom: Hey, wake up! AJ, half awake: Huh!? Sam: I just murdered your entire family! AJ: …But I live alone. Sam: Huh? Then who are these people in your house??? AJ: There’s people in my house? Sam: Well not anymore! Dumb bitch! You could’ve died! You’re welcome! AJ: They… well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff? Tom: Um, murder??? Sam: Adventuring! Luke: Tuesday. Luke: You can de-escalate literally any situation by asking ‘are we about to kiss?’ Luke: Doesn't work with getting out of speeding tickets, though. Luke: How do tall people people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you? Tom: Luke, it's four o'clock in the morning. Luke: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket? Tom: Sam gets offended by everything. Sam: What did you say about me?!? Tom: Tom: Case in point. Luke: wow you and Tom are home early from the movies. What happened? AJ: We got kicked out because Tom wouldn't stop yelling diving scores as people jumped off the titanic. Tom: That last guy had a solid 8, I'm telling you! Sam: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it. Tom: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side. Luke: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE! Sam: What are your three best qualities? Luke: I’m hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends. Sam: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. AJ: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel. Luke: A realist sees a freight train. Tom: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks. Tom: Luke! Have you no dignity? Luke: Of course not! How long have we known eachother? Tom: AJ? What are you doing here? AJ, wearing a hawaiian shirt, sunglasses and holding a gatorade: My best. Luke: A stake to the heart won't kill a vampire if their tits are big enough. AJ: Yeah, you just catch it. Tom: Nah nah nah, deflects it. Stake? Just bounces right off. Done. Back to doing hot girl shit. Sam: Then I just use a spear instead. Luke: You are trying so hard to kill a vampire with big bazongas, and for what? Why would you do that to the ecosystem? Tom, cowering in fear: What do you want from me?! Sam, standing in front of Tom: *bites into the whole KitKat bar like a heathen* Tom, crying: Please...stop...

Tom: Be right back, gonna hit the toilet for a quick power sob. AJ: I did it! I memorized everything in the book! I'm gonna ace this test! Sam: Ok, AJ, I'll give you one more question before you go. What ended in 1918? AJ: 1917. Sam: ...You're ready. Luke: Welcome to my very first vlog, in which I try different hair products! Luke: *sprays hairspray in his mouth* Luke: Well, right off the bat I can tell you this one is not very good. Tom: Sam just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then he reached down and untied my shoe. Luke: I'm going the fight the next person who insults Sam. Sam: I hate myself. Luke: Alright, square up. *AJ is considering cancelling plans, and Tom and Sam are advising him on what to do* Tom: Just don't go. Sam: Say you’re ill! Tom: Pretend to break your leg. Sam: Really break your leg! AJ: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset? Luke: No, I said "AJ, don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset. AJ: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon. Tom: Spear. AJ: BLOCKED. Sam: Quacking in my boobs over this Sam: QUAKING* Sam: BOOTS* FUCKER.

+ Bonus message from the programmer of the generator:

Congratulations! You've stumbled upon a secret message from me (the programmer of this generator): Remember to drink water. And also take your meds if you have those and are supposed to take them. Also, have a nice day if that's a possibility. I hope y'all are doing great, and remember: Happy pride month! Always respect eachother's pronouns! (sadly it's no longer pride month but that that doesn't mean that we shouldn't continue to respect each other's pronouns)

[billthedrake]

DAD'S HABIT

It had become a birthday tradition. Ever since my parents' divorce, Dad would treat me each year to a guys' night in the city. I was a hockey player, and my father the textbook hockey dad, and we were both big Rangers fans. So every year, Dad would drive me to New York, where we'd spend two nights and catch a home game.

I think Dad thought I'd outgrow it as I got closer to graduation, but I enjoyed the father-son bonding time as much as he did. My father is a brash, blue-collar kind of guy. Very heart on his sleeve, but also not good at talking about emotional stuff. The divorce made him even more closed off, but I knew he always looked forward to his custody weekends with me. Even at the pissiest, moodiest points of my teenage years, I got it.

I could tell Dad was surprised after I went off to college - on a hockey scholarship at a New England college - when I asked if we were still doing my birthday trip.

"You bet, buddy," he beamed with barely contained excitement in his voice. "Though I guess we'll need to wait till your season's over."

So that's what we did. A few days later he got back to me wondering if I'd want to catch an away series in Boston later that spring. That's how a new tradition got started, going to different cities each April.... Chicago, Montreal, and now that I'm 22 this year the trip is in DC.

The first night, Dad and I found a sports bar, where we watched a couple of games, but mostly caught up. About school, life, and just boring stuff. Dad seemed to be in a good mood, chattier than normal, and just happier with life. His contracting work was going well, and he promised that he'd take me out for a nice steak dinner the next night.

I asked him if he was dating any one, but he just cocked a grin and shook his head. "Nothing serious," he said with an uncharacteristic blush. "I mean, your old man gets out there for a little fun now and then, but I don't know if I'm ready to date."

"Dad!" I objected with a laugh. The man had given me the birds and bees talk and had checked in with me a couple of times. I'd admitted to him that I'd become sexually active, though I made up more experience with women than I really had. But we weren't the kind of family who talked much about sex.

"Goddamnit, Joey," he chuckled. "You're not a kid any more. I figure you know the score."

"Yeah, I guess," I said, pressing my leg against my father's next to the bar. "Guess you don't get used to the idea of your parents having a life."

"Could probably use a little more of one, to be honest," Dad chimed. God, he was really opening up this evening. "What about you, son? I thought you'd be going steady with someone by now."

"Nah," I hemmed and hawed, trying to hide my embarrassment. I'd gotten real good at bullshitting with my buddies and my teammates but for some reason had a harder time lying to Dad.

My father's hand clasped on my shoulder. "s' OK, I'm not gonna pester you like your mother does," he said. "I guess I wouldn't be a good Dad if I didn't want to know what's going on in your life."

Looking into his gruffly handsome face and his puppy dog brown eyes, I was THIS close to telling him. About the gay thing, about my doubts, about how I wanted to tell everyone but was too fucking scared. How I seemed to be putting my life off until after college.

Instead I gave a silent nod of acknowledgment and turned my head back up to the big TV screen behind the bar. Dad followed suit.

***

We were three beers in when Dad said the day was catching up with him. "It's early though, you should stay out," he urged. "Have some fun."

I almost said no, but it was barely 9 o'clock, and a part of me wanted to take advantage of some independent time. I told Dad I'd maybe stay out for a while longer.

"You got the spare room key, right?"

I told him I did. "I won't be out long," I said.

"I hope you are," he chuckled. "Seriously, enjoy yourself, Joey," he said as he got up from his bar stool. I try to not to perv on my old man but seeing him in his casual jeans and sweatshirt, it was hard not to admire his sturdy body. I mean, Dad's got a beer belly but otherwise is pretty damn solid. I felt his strength as he gave my shoulder one last squeeze before bidding me good night.

I gave it maybe five minutes after he left, then I downed my drink and found my way to the Metro to Dupont Circle. I'd only been to a gay bar twice before, and each time was nerve wracking as hell. But something about being in a different city made me feel anonymous. I felt giddy and excited as I walked the blocks to some bar I found on Google.

Maybe I picked the wrong place, or maybe it was too early, but the bar was dead. I may have been anonymous, but I stuck out in the place, the only dude under 40 in a place of older man. That would have been fine. I mean, I kind of get turned on by men in their late 30s, or 40s and 50s. But a couple of obnoxious guys made a beeline for me in turn, as soon as I got my beer. I tried to do the thanks but no thanks, thing but they wouldn't fucking let up. It brought out my whole anxiety about being in the place to begin with. I didn't even finish my beer, I just bolted out of there.

The whole way back to the hotel, I was frustrated and maybe a little mad at myself. I maybe should have tried another bar, but at this point I wasn't in the mood.

I tried to be quiet when I got back to the hotel room. There was the click of the key card, but other than that I slipped into the room silently, so I wouldn't wake Dad. It took me a second to realize that the light was on, and that Dad was hardly asleep. I was a few steps in the room, far enough to see half of the beds, when I realized what the fuck was happening.

"You like that cock, Daddy?" the voice was youthful and masculine, and it seemed to match the very attractive athletic younger guy who was boning my father doggy style.

My beefy bodied old man was bracing himself on all fours and actually bucking his meaty ass back against every hard thrust. If I wasn't hard yet, that sight alone made my cock feel more rigid than I'd ever felt.

"You know it, buddy," my father growled in that deep, loud voice of his. "Pound my fucking hole." God, Dad was being really loud and his sex talk seemed to echo off the walls. I hoped to God there was soundproofing, then realized I hadn't heard anything before stepping into the room.

The young dude just gripped Dad's waist and used the leverage to pull my father's body back and forth onto his shaft. "You wanna do the scene we talked about, man?" the guys asked, quiet in his voice now.

Dad nodded and blushed beet red. "Yeah, let's go for it."

The top's chest seemed to puff proudly. I couldn't believe they'd not noticed me. Hell, I couldn't believe I had the balls or the stupidity to just stand there and watch them. But they were so caught up in their mating. The man's hips now slowed to a slow sexy grind and he leaned forward and kissed along Dad's thick shoulder and neck. "I've wanted to do this for so long, Dad," he growled. "After every hockey practice."

"Oh god, yeah, Joey!" my father hissed, not as loud this time.

WHAT THE FUCK!?!

My heart pounded and my dick throbbed, but my mind was in a major head-fuck place now. I was actually hyperventilating, and the voyeurism had gone from a sexual turnon to a sense of invading Dad's privacy, or seeing something I shouldn't have seen. I backed out as quietly as I entered, and let the door open and shut as silently as I could.

"Fuck!" I hissed to myself as I stood in the hallway, feeling my heart race. I tried to gather my thoughts to something that would get my dick to go down. It half worked, but not fully. I thought of going somewhere else for a while, even the hotel lobby. But I had to know. Know who'd been fucking Dad. Probably not a boyfriend, cause Dad never came to DC. Maybe some dude from Grindr, I don't know.

It took ten minutes, maybe a little more. I waited down the hall, by the elevator bank, and when I heard the click of the door, I peered out. The first one was a different room, but the second, a minute later, was from ours. I pretended like I was I just coming from the elevators and walked slowly down the hall. The dude was busy with his phone as he walked, texting or something so I could get a good look at him. I'd seen his body in profile, but now that I saw him head on, wearing joggers and a zip up pullover, I could make out that he was almost a dead ringer for me! Blue eyes to my brown, and higher cheekbones, but otherwise there was so much similar. Same height, same athletic build, same dark brown hair, same jockish demeanor.

"Hey," he grunted in acknowledgement as we passed. Bro to bro.

"Hey," I said, nervously, trying to pass it off as a normal exchange. He kept on his way, and I paused at the room door, wondering if he'd look back. He never did.

I wasn't quiet this time. I wanted to give Dad time notice. I shut the door loudly and called out, "Hey Dad."

"Hey, buddy," he called out. He was lying back in bed, watching some sports news on the TV with the volume turned down. Wearing only a thin pair of gym shorts, his body was relaxed and I got a good chance to admire his muscle. Big bulging arms, rounded shoulders, and full hard pecs. Dad's surprisingly smooth for a guy his age, but there was a dusting of hair on his chest and torso... finer and lighter colored than my own body hair. Below his pecs there was some extra weight... more than middle aged spread, I guess, though his beer belly was shy of a full gut. On Dad it looked hot. The thin fabric didn't leave too much to the imagination, but my father's genitals were soft so didn't form too much of a package. And in some ways those thighs stole the show, with a rounded curve and palpable meatiness. They were hairier than his upper body but not outright furry.

I couldn't believe this man, my father, had just taken dick like a porn star.

I snapped out of my perving reverie and rifled though my bag for my own pair of shorts. No way was I sleeping in just underwear tonight. I even pulled out some compression to layer underneath, to keep any boner in check.

I ducked into the bathroom to piss, change, brush my teeth, and just collect myself. When I got out, bare chested as Dad, he was still on the other bed, absorbed in whatever boring sports talk program was on. I couldn't believe how nonchalant he was being. Then again, maybe getting laid puts you in that kind of mood.

I settled onto the other double bed and pretended to be interested in the TV. I'd sneak glanced over at my father, to get a look at his half naked body but also to imagine that forbidden spot between his legs, deep in his ass. No way did he have the chance to shower off after sex, and I just knew that cleft and hole were still wet with lube.... and if the guy didn't put on a condom, then cum as well.

I had to lift my leg and surreptitiously reach down to pinch the base of my cock to tame the hardon. Compression would only do so much.

"Have fun tonight?" Dad finally asked. "I thought you'd be out longer."

The messed up thing was that I felt guilty for coming back too early, of not giving my father enough time to hook up with a dude. "It was all right," I said. "Just wasn't feeling it."

He looked over at me, his brown eyes filled with normal fatherly concern. "Yeah, buddy? I figured a good looking dude like you would be able to score a hot girl for the night."

"Dad!" I objected.

"What?" he asked. As if his concern were just a normal dad's male bonding with his son. In another instance it might be, but I knew now that Dad got off on the idea of me fucking. That's why he was always asking me about girls.

I had every intention of playing dumb. Of just filing this evening back into my memory bank for stroke sessions. Because this was potentially explosive stuff.

Instead I picked up that stick of emotional TNT. "I, um, saw you guys... just now... earlier," I eked out through a shaky voice.

Dad's relaxed, happy go lucky face turned dead serious. "Oh," he said. "I thought I head the door click." He looked at me and I just knew what he was thinking. He was trying to figure out just how much I'd seen. "Sorry you had to see that Joey."

"Guess I should have picked up the hint you wanted some alone time," I said. Trying to pass it off like Dad was my dorm roommate needing to get laid. I even forced a chuckle to make light of the weirdness.

Dad turned off the TV and turned toward me. God, I wished he wasn't looking so hot just then. Chest and arm muscle bulging as his body pivoted toward me. "I'm serious, Joe... I didn't mean.... Damnit... I guess you know now... your old man likes to have a little fun now and then."

It was none of my business, but curiosity won out. "He wasn't your boyfriend or anything, was he?" I mean, it didn't seem likely but I had to know if I was getting a step dad my age.

He shook his head. "Nothing like that, son," he said, pausing before adding, "It's just, well, sometimes I splurge on a hustler."

It was a weird first reaction, but I was a little mad that Dad paid that dude when any number of men would be lucky to fuck him. But as the memory of that primal scene flashed in my head, I was getting rock hard again. "Dad, I'm pretty sure you don't need to pay anyone."

Dad's eyes were on me intently now. Deciding how to take my comment. "Sometimes I want someone who's not gonna pass judgment," he said quietly. Damn he was making himself vulnerable now, for sure.

I was too. Meeting his gaze, I said, less quietly now, "I'm not gonna pass judgment, Dad."

"No?" he asked. I could hear his voice catch in his throat.

"Nope. And I hope you don't pass judgment on me," I replied.

"What would I...?" Dad started to ask before he let out a surprised, "oh!"

I'd pulled my legs out and was revealing my hardon to dad. Even beneath the shorts and through the compression, my ridge of college-jock cock was visible. My heart raced nervously but I also sat up proudly in bed and spread my legs further to show my dick off to my father.

"Fuck, you're big, Joey," he gapsed, without thinking before he took his eyes off my crotch and looked back up at me. "How long?"

"I dunno, Dad," I said. "Maybe 7 and a half inches. Almost eight."

"Shit," he grunted. Then shook his head. "But I meant how long have you had a thing for me?"

"Honest, Dad?" I replied. "I don't know. Maybe longer than I realized."

He nodded, taking in the information.

I looked over at my father and could see his dick firming up to a spike again in those shorts. "How long have you had a thing for me, Dad?"

"Maybe longer than I realized, too," he shot back, now sitting up on the bed, facing me. "I swear Joey, I tried not to go there, but you grew into such a hot fucking stud."

I'd had sex with men a couple of times before, and I'd enjoyed the naughty thrill of it. But this just seemed to click, the mutual sexual attraction. The fact Dad was as boned for me as I was for him made me wish we weren't father and son.

Then again, that was the thrill of it, too.

With a playful grin, I hooked my thumbs in my shorts and pulled them up over my boner. Dad was silent and his attention fixated watching this simple, taboo act. I slid off the shorts and the compression and let my long, thick cock ride up. It was fully engorged and stood up from my treasure trail at a rigid angle.

Dad gulped again and looked up at me. "We doing this, son?"

"Yeah, Dad," I hissed, scooting off the bed and standing up. Horniness winning out over my nerves. "We're fucking doing this."

I heard a low rumble as my butch father scooted over and with one hand on my leg to guide me, he took me into his mouth.

"Holy fuck!" I gasped. At first it was just the sheer forbidden fact that my own father was licking and now sucking my bone. But quickly I was going wild at realizing how frickin' good Dad was at this. Not going for the kill, he gave slow, sensual head that seemed to be worshipful and did the trick of working me up to a boil without sending me over the edge.

I'd had guys suck my dick a couple of times, but I'd never fully gotten a blowjob, not for real. Dad was giving me my first.

"Dad," I hissed, spreading my legs to brace my body and running my fingers softly through his light-brown hair to encourage him. I rode out the incredible incestuous pleasure, then had to put on the breaks. "Dad..." I urged, using my fingers to nudge his skull back off me. "I don't wanna cum yet."

My father let out a soft, deep growl as my wet thick prick cleared his lips. And just as quickly as he'd taken me into his mouth, his face dove down to start tonguing and kissing my balls.

"You've turned into such a stud, all right," I heard him say between kisses. "Big fucking balls, too."

I'd had two hookups with older men. Men Dad's age. One was fun, the other I felt a little skeeved out by the man's lecherous fixation on my youth. But with Dad, I responded instantly to his worshipful lust for me. Something about it brought out both my loving and aggressive side. Holding the back of his head, I pulled him roughly into my crotch, then relaxed my grip and patted his head affectionately. Dad seemed to love that.

"I wanna fuck you, Dad," I let out. As I said the words, I knew they were a messed up thing to think, much less say. I was so horny, though, and after seeing Dad practically slut out earlier, my dick was doing the thinking for me.

Dad pulled back, spit on his lips and excitement in his brown eyes. "Yeah, Joey?"

If I didn't know before, I had a pretty good confirmation that Dad had thought a LOT about that very idea. His hand stroked my spit-wet prick, as if he was sizing up how much he'd feel my size.

A nagging doubt hit me. Not incest, but my inexperience. "I might not have the moves that hustler did, but I wanna bone you, Dad."

Dad leaned back, his burly body on display for me, with its hard blue-collar muscle and that extra bulk. He was beautiful and my cock twitched seeing his masculine build offered before me. "How you want me? On all fours?"

I stepped back for a better view, shaking my head. "Face to face," I growled, feeling my cock twitch. I'd had my experiences with men and a hell of a lot of self time with porn. This was better than both combined. "I wanna make out with my dad while I fuck him."

"Joey," Dad grunted, scrambling up to lie back on the bed. I was following him, already greedily tugging at the waist band of his shorts. The elastic snagged on his erection, but he helped me work it over and off his thighs, before I pulled the shorts off and tossed them aside. "This is SO fucking wrong, son," he hissed, and I knew we were on the same wavelength. Riding that taboo.

"Fuck yeah, it's wrong," I growled, the words almost catching in my throat I was so turned on. "A son shouldn't wanna fuck his father."

Dad honest to god whimpered at that. Or maybe it was the feel of my hardon nudging along his thigh as I leaned down and claimed a kiss.

This itself was a line crossed, more than the cocksucking, more than the sex talk. I was French kissing my own father and he was sucking my tongue into his mouth before battling it with his own. We grunted into our kiss, humping our heated bodies and feeling that incredible flesh-on-flesh contact.

This desire had been bottled up so deep inside me, but this evening had brought it out so quickly, I knew it was always there. Knew my father had been deep in my psyche as I masturbated all these years. Knew he was an implicit comparison for any man I went for.

I'd have to ask Dad where I fit into his fantasies, or if there were other men, young men, in his life. All I knew now was how hungrily he held me and felt up my hockey-jock body and spread his legs, inviting me in, then wrapping those feet around to guide me to enter him.

I wasn't hustler-skilled, so I had to reach down and guide my rigid cock to root around for his entrance. But that escort had left a good amount of lube there, and as I nudged my father's recently-fucked pucker, I could tell there was a good deal of cum, too. The idea excited me and made me jealous at the same time. That fucker should have been paying Dad for the privilege...

I thrust inside my old man. Between the suddenness and my size, it was a LOT for Dad to take. Turns out the man liked it that way. He growled into our kiss and used his heels against my strong ass to urge me on.

I didn't need my invitation engraved. I let my body and my hormonal need take over. I fucked Dad, maybe just shy of rough, but definitely hard. And the faster and deeper I went the more the big man's body responded beneath me.

"Fuck me, Joe," he grunted as I broke the kiss and leaned up to get a good look at the man I was shafting, the man who made me.

"You love your son's cock in you?" I prodded.

"Fuck yeah," Dad replied. "Hot fucking incest."

That alone about got me to cum. My hips were a blur of motion and I was THIS close to orgasm.

"Open your mouth, Dad," I urged. I don't know what possessed me to do this, but I think I'd seen it a porn video and something about Dad's need made me wanna try it.

My father opened his mouth and I did it. I spit right into it, hitting the back of his throat like a bullseye target.

Dad actually fucking whimpered once I did.

I hawked some more spit and let it fly once more. And that did it, I was cumming HARD. Harder than I ever had in my life. My hips were now longer thrusting madly but giving a couple of deep jerks into my dad's guts to add my seed to that hustler's.

Dad was rock hard against my abs as we made out and held each other. Holding on to each other and not wanting this father-son fuck to end.

After a couple of minutes I realized I didn't have to end. Dad hadn't gotten off, and I was still rock hard. I could probably go for another... yeah, I could definitely go for another. My hips began a soft, shallow thrust, enough for Dad to feel it inside him.

"You going for another, Joey?" he asked, surprised and excited.

I nodded, smiling down on my father. His hair was matted down with sweat and he had a vulnerable edge to his handsome looks. I felt a strange sexual domination over my old man, but a hell a lot of love, too. It was all in the mix.

"You ever been fucked all night, Dad?" I asked, putting on my deepest, sternest voice I could manage. Yeah, maybe it was a boast, but at that point I felt I had it in me. In any case, I wanted to try.

"God, Joe," Dad hissed. His hands openly massaged my arm muscle, not as big and round as his guns but still with that athletic harness from sports and working out regularly.

I grinned, feeling playful as hell. "Is that a 'God, Joe,' I can't handle that? Or a 'God, Joe, please fuck me all night, Joe'?" I teased.

I felt Dad's heels on my ass cheeks again. "God, Joe, please fuck me all night, Joe.... son."

"You got it... Dad."