#look i cant stop thinking about the jokes people are making about reigen's next poll victory being the new queen of england

[phantomrose96]

So the plaques were weird.

This was about the strongest conclusion Mob had come to about the new decorations lovingly, crookedly hung behind Reigen's desk. Mob had had half a mind to google what "Twink" and "DILF" were, but he had the feeling those were better off not showing up in the family computer's search history.

He'd asked Teru, who'd burst into such an uncontrollable fit of laughter Teru couldn't breathe, let alone explain to Mob what, exactly, Reigen had won. And Mob had tried asking Ritsu. Ritsu had simply gone silent, and the expression on his face had reminded Mob that his little brother was capable of incredible violence.

So Mob just kind of let it be. He spared a few awkward glances to the kitschy hangings and mostly just tried to forget they were there.

"Yo!" The office door clicked open. Reigen sauntered in, whistling an off-key tune and fumbling to remove his jacket. "Hey Mob, guess whose Shishou has been crowned champion once again!"

Mob blinked. "Did you win the Tumblr S--"

"No no," Reigen waved it off with too much vigor. His motions sent a draft through the office until his hand got tangled in his coat. "Lost to some skeleton. Not important."

"Oh," Mob said, and did not prompt anything further. He looked down at his phone.

Loudly, with much fumbling and clattering, Reigen made his way to his seat. And despite trying his best to ignore Reigen and whatever new trophy he was going to over-explain to Mob without actually explaining anything (It had seemed Reigen himself didn't quite understand the DILF nor Twink awards either), Mob found his eyes roving once more.

He looked up.

Reigen had propped an actual crown on his desk, which he shoved beside his nametag, then behind it, then beside it again, then noticed he was scuffing the desk and stopped shoving the crown around.

Mob's blood pressure was rising.

70%.

"Shishou what's--" Actually, Mob wasn't going to ask.

Mob looked at his phone instead, which was not a smart phone, no matter how much Teru pestered him to get one. Mob didn't need one. He only needed his phone to text people, really.

All people he was, currently, ignoring.

Teru, 2 unread messages: a link to a news article Mob could not open and a single emoticon text reading ":0!" Tome, 2 unread: a link to another news article and an unread text reading "Hey what the fuck."

Ritsu, 2 unread: a screenshot of a headline reading out "Twitter Poll Crowns New Queen of England" accompanied by, perhaps, the ugliest photo of Reigen to ever exist. A text reading "I'm gonna fucking kill him."

85%.

Mob looked up. Reigen had placed the crown on his head. He was deeply engrossed in his laptop.

"Hey Mob, how much do you know about Twitter? I need you to translate some weird tweets people are mentioning me in."

95%

"I don't, actually, Shishou. Sorry. You should ask Hanazawa."

"Oh he would know, wouldn't he?"

Mob was simply not going to think about it.

He was, for his own sanity, really not going to think about it.

[poorwhayfairingstranger]

Amazing fanfic op

So the plaques were weird.

This was about the strongest conclusion Mob had come to about the new decorations lovingly, crookedly hung behind Reigen's desk. Mob had had half a mind to google what "Twink" and "DILF" were, but he had the feeling those were better off not showing up in the family computer's search history.

He'd asked Teru, who'd burst into such an uncontrollable fit of laughter Teru couldn't breathe, let alone explain to Mob what, exactly, Reigen had won. And Mob had tried asking Ritsu. Ritsu had simply gone silent, and the expression on his face had reminded Mob that his little brother was capable of incredible violence.

So Mob just kind of let it be. He spared a few awkward glances to the kitschy hangings and mostly just tried to forget they were there.

"Yo!" The office door clicked open. Reigen sauntered in, whistling an off-key tune and fumbling to remove his jacket. "Hey Mob, guess whose Shishou has been crowned champion once again!"

Mob blinked. "Did you win the Tumblr S--"

"No no," Reigen waved it off with too much vigor. His motions sent a draft through the office until his hand got tangled in his coat. "Lost to some skeleton. Not important."

"Oh," Mob said, and did not prompt anything further. He looked down at his phone.

Loudly, with much fumbling and clattering, Reigen made his way to his seat. And despite trying his best to ignore Reigen and whatever new trophy he was going to over-explain to Mob without actually explaining anything (It had seemed Reigen himself didn't quite understand the DILF nor Twink awards either), Mob found his eyes roving once more.

He looked up.

Reigen had propped an actual crown on his desk, which he shoved beside his nametag, then behind it, then beside it again, then noticed he was scuffing the desk and stopped shoving the crown around.

Mob's blood pressure was rising.

70%.

"Shishou what's--" Actually, Mob wasn't going to ask.

Mob looked at his phone instead, which was not a smart phone, no matter how much Teru pestered him to get one. Mob didn't need one. He only needed his phone to text people, really.

All people he was, currently, ignoring.

Teru, 2 unread messages: a link to a news article Mob could not open and a single emoticon text reading ":0!" Tome, 2 unread: a link to another news article and an unread text reading "Hey what the fuck."

Ritsu, 2 unread: a screenshot of a headline reading out "Twitter Poll Crowns New Queen of England" accompanied by, perhaps, the ugliest photo of Reigen to ever exist. A text reading "I'm gonna fucking kill him."

85%.

Mob looked up. Reigen had placed the crown on his head. He was deeply engrossed in his laptop.

"Hey Mob, how much do you know about Twitter? I need you to translate some weird tweets people are mentioning me in."

95%

"I don't, actually, Shishou. Sorry. You should ask Hanazawa."

"Oh he would know, wouldn't he?"

Mob was simply not going to think about it.

He was, for his own sanity, really not going to think about it.