#look dude this one's been stuck in Draft Hell for too long. i'm sorry.

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

[bonecrusher's engine is rumbling in his sleep.]

[king pops by for a visit, letting himself in... through the kitchen window, no less.]

[upon hearing the snore-like roaring of bonecrusher's engine, king cautiously approaches the couch. he peeks over at bonecrusher, relieved that he wasn't some sort of demonic engine-related creature of sorts.]

[vibemaster appears behind king, coming from the hallway for a midnight snack.]

VM: rough night?

D!BC: assuming so. do other bots' engines vocalize like his?

VM: not that i've heard personally. patchwork seems like the type of guy to know about that stuff, might wanna ask him. in any case, i'm off to bed.

D!BC: before you leave, do you have any... new faces of sorts?

VM: uhh... three, if i recall correctly. maybe two. one's a guy nicknamed 'stonehenge' - old, rusty bonecrusher lookalike. then there's... i think they nicknamed her katyusha. she's what we used to call 'autobot rocketjumper', but someone figured she needed a better name. not my business to think about.

D!BC: mmm. enjoy your slumber, sir.

VM: and you as well. [vibemaster leaves for his bedroom.]

[king peeks over at bonecrusher again, to make sure he's not fully off his rocker.]

[...still bonecrusher. good. king folds his toes up, walking on his tires down the hallway.]

[after passing various doors labeled and decorated with details referring to the rooms within, king finds a door labeled 'SPARE', with a crude drawing of what king assumes to be stonehenge and katyusha. he creaks the door open quietly, disappearing into the room and closing the door just as quietly as he opened it.]

[king takes a seat on the floor, next to two slumbering beasts of metal, one monstrous and the other humongous.]

[king sits there, staring at the beasts. slowly, surely, he falls asleep.]

...

[king awakens from his slumber, covered in a blanket and one hand positioned around a cube of tea - a cold cube, but still. he's mildly forgotten where he is, but the memory of last night immediately reminds him. he feels as if he died, yet popped back to life.]

[king gets onto his feet. the two beasts he slept next to have left. with his new cup of tea and second cape (made of a blanket), he exits the spare room and sneaks through the hallway.]

[peeking through the hall's archway, king spies bonecrusher cooking some sort of material in a frying pan. he assumes bonecrusher can't hear him sneaking about and takes a seat in the living room.]

[of course, bonecrusher hasn't heard a sound since last night, barring rocketjumper's quiet snoring. he does pick up on king's tires making contact with the floor, not reacting to it.]

[king sits there in silence, in supposed stealth. he hadn't noticed footmuncher sleeping ass-up on the couch... and his eyes wander around footmuncher's frame.]

[...eventually, bonecrusher pipes up.]

BC: ...what brings you here this morning, king?

D!BC: shelter. i hadn't been told that you have eyes in your back. bonecrusher.

BC: trust me, there ain't no eyes back there. just sound-starved systems picking up on whatever they can. now, how're you?

D!BC: i'm... rather fine, i suppose. patchwork tells me that he wants to perform an operation on me. figured i'd pop in as soon as possible.

BC: mm. any ulterior motives?

D!BC: not particularly. i could be popping by because i'm lonely for once. i might be visiting because i'm worried about my dementia. i might just be appearing because, hey, fuck it. who knows?

BC: i get that. not sure if i get it to a depth that matters to you, but i do get it. sometimes you get too lonely.

[bonecrusher sets aside the spaghetti meat, allowing his mine defusal claw to finish the spaghetti.]

D!BC: ...what's it like?

BC: ...

D!BC: the, eh... being a part of a team, working with others to obtain a common goal, the... not being alone.

BC: huh. well, after an eternity of being a lone wolf and doing damn near whatever i wanted, even though i got struck down by optimus prime... it's a breath of fresh air. i... [bonecrusher can't find any more words to explain his situation.] ...yeah. breath of fresh air. why do you ask?

D!BC: i'd like to move in, for what it's worth. my old kingdom grew tiring and empty... and lonely. i feel as if i was alone for too long. i desire something else, and what else is better than living with another version of me.

D!BC: of course, blindly hoping that you'll accept me immediately is a fool's errand. if this is simply a visit, so be it. i would prefer for it to be something more, but... [he sips his tea once it reaches a bearable temperature.] you can't have everything.

BC: you'd be surprised 'bout how many spare rooms i have. that, and you're a capable warrior; i'd be a moron to let you freeze outside. where do you want to sleep?

D!BC: ...there was a particularly comfy room down the hall. the one with the mattresses in the center. i'd like to sleep in there, if possible.

BC: not a problem. the two bots in there seem to like having you around, judging by the cube of tea and blanket cape. did you leave any sentimental objects back at your old base that you wanna go back for, or are you fine?

D!BC: [he looks himself over. sword's in its sheath. he doesn't remember having anything else.] i'm fine.

BC: nice. if you want something to chow down on later, i'm trying out a new recipe that i think the guys'll like. have fun with your second nap of the day, king.

D!BC: thank you deeply for your hospitality.

[without another word, king gets out of the seat he took earlier, hugs bonecrusher, and heads down the hall.]

[cyberwavelit]

Gamer's Debt (Short Story)

"Crap, all I wanted was the gold chest so I can buy some extra lives. If I don't get any more extra lives, I'll lose all my gold when I die. How am I supposed to win if I have to pay for every damn thing?" Joden stepped down the ramp of his Blourgan cruiser and surveyed the alien landscape. It was barren except for the remains of a small village that he had just annihilated with a two-ton necro-missile.

"That's life. People are generally selfish, impatient, and insecure. Game companies use these weaknesses to motivate players. Maybe you shouldn't have blown up the village, is all I'm saying." The pilot of the cruiser, Jershamalama, spoke through his comm.

"But how does anyone get the hell out of this game if they can never win? I've been stuck in this hell hole for thirty days! My body’s back in the real world, rotting away.”

"Hey, you wanted to play, didn't you? Maybe if we travel to a non-npc sector we can trade off some of this junk we get every time we kill an enemy.” His pilot stared at him from the cockpit.

Joden looked back, “I feel like a slave. That garbage is only worth a pinto cent. It’ll take decades to get to the end game. And besides, that's if we can take off with all that junk. It'll take us a few hours to get back into the atmosphere. It's like a Fetch-22."

"You mean a fetch quest?"

"Yeah, something like that." said Joden taking out his cent-o-meter. It consumed his health bar as it scanned the surrounding sector. His eyes darted around his visor interface, looking at all the blips and bubbles that pinged. “I wish I could afford the Super Hyper Gold Jetpack that all the booster players use.”

“They only release that on the first Wednesday of every other month with a sign-on fee, an option to buy stocks in EternaEntertinament, a monthly fee, a mental evaluation, and maintenance fees when your able to grab it from one of the random places it spawns, like the Hell planet Infernum or the planet Madness Descent. Plus, I hear they only give you like a 3 second jump.”

“What?!” He nearly tripped over a crumpled alien body. “You can’t be serious. My mom’s going to kill me. I told her I was going to school. I figured I could just sign up for a few games, try my hand at Galactic Teamslayer, and be back at the rent-a-plex by nine. That was a month ago!”

“Relax. They won’t even notice you’re gone. Most parents have been sucked into this new thing called Binge Child Raising. EternaEntertinament created it too. It’s a simulation where adults can raise children and not have them become reclusive, angst-ridden failures. They’re really gouging everyone for money, real and fake, young and old.”

Joden was too focused on the horizon where a few blips were going off. They were purple, which meant that they were low-value targets. Everything seemed to be purple. “I never asked--how long you been here?”

“You shoulda seen it when it was it first came out. The servers would never load and you had to sit there, in the darkness, watching a timer run out as they patched their simulation. It was like holding your breath under water.” The pilot sucked his teeth. “Hang on a sec. Have to rate the game again—after this ad.”

“Yeah, I hate doing this every hour.” The astronaut picked up a child’s toy from the clutched hand of a sloblarian. “Wonder what this is worth. I heard that we used to play with things like this, not just video games where you pay to win. Up, hang on a sec, got an ad playing.”

Joden’s reality changed. He was sitting on a park bench. A duck came up to him, honking and pulling at his pants. The countdown to the end of the ad appeared in his peripheral. It quaked and quaked until Joden threw down a few coins to skip it.

Back in game world he was still holding the toy. He threw it down with distain and a lack of remembrance for such physical trifles.

He was then asked to rate the game. He voted as he always had, giving it a one-star out of three. There was a chime and a message: “We’re sorry you’re not enjoying your time in our game world. Perhaps if you were more openminded and understanding of the fact that you may not always get what you want, you might have a better experience with our merchandise. Please lower your expectations. Thank you.”

Joden coughed to drown out the message he had heard a hundred times. “I’m so tired of game companies stealing from us. Don’t they realize that it’ll only make the game suffer?”

“Yeah,” responded the pilot, “let’s go steal something.”

“I’m so tired, Jersh. I just want to go somewhere where we can kill an alien race and grind their bones into dust. What’s so wrong with that?”

“If you only knew, kid. On its launch the game world wasn’t even finished. Eterna used the gamers to construct most of the planets using the build-and-play incentive. Those gamers signed a contract that said that they had to make at least four hundred ‘products’ before they could actually the game. They called it the ‘fix-it-later’ release. The products they were referring to was one galaxy. Those designer gamers are probably still waiting…”

“Four hund--?” Joden held up his fist to the pilot, who had been watching from the ship’s windshield. “That’s extortion!”

“Welcome to the world. They get away with it because it’s a game world. You can do anything in the game world like gambling, murder, blackmail, forced labor, and forced sodomy. Nothing’s real so nothing matters.”

The astronaut had disembarked about five hundred meters from the ship. Steam bellowed from its worn exhaust. “Why did you call me kid? How old are you? I mean I know you have the same avatar as me…”

“Age doesn’t matter either. Yeah, I couldn’t afford the customizations either.” Jersh tapped his helmet. “So, I guess we both have the same face.”

“And same weapons, gear, armor, boots, ships, weapon skins, and abilities.” He noticed a large oval blob on his visor’s HUD. It was moving closer behind a small series of stone pillars.

“Oh no, I have the blue-skinned Rigormortis rifle. It’s got this badass blue stripe on the side. Cost me 20,000 gold, 200 platinum, and 4 of my lifesaving’s accounts. If I didn’t have this stripe, I’d probably go insane or worse, color blind.”

“Shut up, dude. Something’s coming. I think it’s a surviving sloblarian. I hear they get angro really quick. I don’t want to die here, man. I never bought a 600-gold resurrection pack. It’ll take sixty days to load back in…”

Jersh responded, sounding distracted, “You’re fine. Just cap it in the head or something.”

The purple blob was twenty meters away. If it wanted to attack it would have to come out into the open and charge him. He could tell there was movement but it was more restless than threatening. Joden took out his rifle and fired at the rock tower. The gun exploded in his hands, sending his obliterated fingers in multiple directions.

“Ah damnit! I forgot about the maintenance fee!”

The figure bounded from the pillar and slunk slowly towards the enemy astronaut. It skulked across the yellow, Phallusian sand with its omni-dexterous flippers. Arriving to the hunched-over human its tugged at his spacesuit and motioned for him to come closer.

“Gross dude, it wants to talk to me. What should I do?” The rounded head bobbed up and down like a rubbery ball. It seemed to be injured or at least miserable.

Joden heard distinct crunching noises emanating from the pilot’s mouth. “IDK. Step on it I guess.”

The polymorphous blob at his feet opened its crevice-like mouth and appeared to gasp for air. But it wasn’t gasping. It was whispering. He leaned down and listened.

“Dunk…prrray…Donk pppreeeey.” It was saying, and gargled as its lips flapped. “Doooonnk plllaaaaay. Chooose nut to pprraaaaay. Fyind sumting essl to do wilth yourg tyhme.”

“Oh, hell no!” shouted the man, as he squashed the creature’s face with his boot. It was like stepping on a water balloon filled with pebbles. He looked at where his hands used to be and screamed into the sky. “What does it all mean? Why do I always have to be punished! I’ve been in the same place for too long!”

"It's not good to live in a dream.” More crunching came from the ship. “You sometimes forget what life is like."

Virtual blood splashed onto the dry dirt from his nubs. A few splatters mixed with the alien’s internal fluids. The reflective pool at his feet showed his avatar’s face, the same face of his pilots. He searched rapidly for any signs of wealth or material possession. There was nothing but ooze and viscera. Tattered cloth around the dead alien’s head was smushed and torn.  

He turned toward the ship with a look of bewilderment. “How many gamers are trapped here? We can’t be the only ones. This game isn’t anything like what they advertised. They lied to us! Who would want to be stuck in this perpetual nightmare of pay-to-play, pay-to-build, pay-to-live, pay-to-pay mechanics?”

“I don’t think you get it.” The pilot was still eating. “Companies do this to consumers because consumers let them. The general belief is that consumers are very smart but when’s the last time you heard someone say: ‘I won’t buy that because it goes against my code of ethics?’ None, no one’s ever said that. People like spending money. It’s in our blood. Its our nature to trust rich people. They seem to have all the right answers even when they don’t. They make the truths that we all follow. Besides, how could they get all that money if they had bad intentions.”

Joden used his character’s remaining strength to rush back towards the Blourgan cruiser. He felt a draft of air coming in the direction of the ship, and heard the engine roaring to life. “What the hell are you doing?”

The mercenary vessel hovered three feet off the ground and its nose pointed at the runner. Its pilot could be seen through the windshield, “Sorry newb, you’re becoming to be a real downer.”

“I thought you were my friend!” he whimpered, his nubs heaving back and forth.

The ship elevated to ten feet. “None of us are really friends. We’re all just trying to make a living. And I need one more kill for the Slayer Award. We’re all just numbers.”

As he came to the plateau where he had disembarked, he held up his invisible hands to shield his face. “I just want to go home! I just want to go home.”

A cybersonic laser beam burst from the cruiser’s forward cannons. He felt the hot bathing light of the beam and then felt nothing at all.

“I can’t get out…I can’t…” He awoke in darkness. A screen appeared that read the same message he received hundreds of times, “You have died. Looks like you have low gear and feeble weapons. Would you like to buy a booster pack?”

“No.” he responded.

“A looter box?”

“No!”

He said the same words over and over before. The message continued, “You have elected to refuse game-provided assistance. This is a poor decision. In order to continue gameplay without using game-provided assistance please insert thirty-seven-point-one resurrection tokens.”

He wanted to cry but said, “I don’t have any.”

The automated voice paused and spoke again after popping up a sixty-page form. “Well that sucks. In order to continue please complete the loan agreement in front of you. The loan is for $6,000. Sign here, here, and here.”

Joden lowered his shoulders and looked at his current debt. It read: “-387,000.” He breathed out, collapsing his chest, and grew red-faced. “No!” he shouted.  

There was another pause and the form disappeared. For several moments there was darkness and silence. “Very well.” The automated voice returned. “You have chosen reincarnation. Goodbye.”

“No!” he screamed defiantly. “No!”

Then, all of a sudden, he felt strange. He looked out through oddly-colored eyes. His hands had returned but they had three fingers instead of five. When he tried to speak, he could only gasp through what felt like a straw. The sand that he walked on grew hardened in his webbed feet. An alien girl danced toward him, carrying a toy. She hugged him with pencil-thin arms and turned towards the sky. Tattered robes fell along his arm and he patted the girl’s head. He looked up, to where the girl was gazing and saw a massive fireball break through the atmosphere. A necro-missile came out of the fiery plume, heading straight for their small, stony village. 

[clearcorona]

just a little support // bakugou katsuki x fem!reader

I feel like this one is really bad since my first draft got completely deleted since Tumblr was being stupid. I also made Bakugou a second year in this. Hope you enjoy!

"I could tweak some things here and there. That could work, yeah. Nothing too major, it'd ruin the whole design," you muttered to yourself, gusts of wind carrying several books around you within enough distance for you to read them all. "It has to be efficient and easy to use."

You yelped as you felt yourself bump into someone, losing concentration. The books that were being carried by the gusts of wind fell by your feet.

"Oi, watch where you're going!" you heard someone yell and looked up, seeing an ash blonde boy looking like he was about to murder you.

You rolled your eyes and stuck your nose up in the air, annoyed by his attitude.

"I was going to apologize, but you don't deserve it," you said and he clenched his fists.

"Who do you think you are, dammit?!" he growled and you looked over at him, recognizing his temper from somewhere.

"Someone who has obviously grown up with more manners than you," you replied and he clenched his fists.

"Why you little-" he started, but was cut off by a perky redhead.

"Ah, sorry about him! You're (L/N) (Y/N), right? We just came to have some touch ups to our hero costumes done," he said and you hummed, focusing on the air around you to pick the books up off of the floor. "Wow, your quirk seems so cool!"

"My quirk? Oh, it's nothing. If it was anything special, I'd probably be in the hero course, but it is what it is. I just want to help people. Follow me," you said and started to walk on the direction of the support department.

~

It had been a few weeks since Kirishima and Bakugou had stopped by to give you their hero costumes to work on. Since then, they had paid frequent visits and Bakugou sometimes came on his own.

You let out a content sigh as you finished up your work for the day, hearing footsteps by the door.

"Baku- oh," you started and then stopped yourself when you realized it wasn't him, instead being another student from the support department. "What do you want, Daichi?"

"What? Expecting someone?" he asked and you rolled your eyes, starting to clean up your work station.

"If I was, what's it to you?" you asked and he leaned against the doorframe.

"Just curious. You thought I was that angry kid, didn't you?"

"You mean Bakugou?"

"Bakugou, right. That's his name. He's been coming and going a lot recently."

"Yeah, so?"

"He's got you wrapped around your little finger. You've been doing enough for him as it is. He's so annoying, too. He's always complaining, saying he only trusts you with changes to his costume and shit like that."

"What exactly are you getting at here?"

"He obviously wants something from you. Come on, (L/N), don't be so naive." You then let out a laugh and he looked at you in confusion.

"I can finally understand why you didn't make it into the hero course!"

"I don't think I understand..."

"Not only is your quirk completely useless, you're a giant prick as well! That's definitely not hero material. Bakugou is just misunderstood."

"Misunderstood, my ass! Are you actually standing up for him?"

"Yes. Do you have a problem? As far as I'm concerned, this is my work area and I won't hesitate to kick you out."

"Trying to scare me with empty threats?"

You sighed and shook your head, letting the gusts of wind swirl around you. You then focus it in Daichi's direction, letting the strong winds carry him out of the room.

"What a nuisance...," you muttered and rolled your eyes.

"Have to admit, that was quite a damn good show you put on," you heard and you didn't even have to look up to know who was standing there.

"How long have you been standing there?" you asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Long enough," he smirked. "That was pretty badass. You sure know how to use your quirk."

"Did you need something?"

"Not exactly. Those extras at the dorms were annoying me."

"So, you decided to visit an underclassman? How sweet!"

"Shut up." You smiled in return, grabbing your bag. "You didn't have to say that."

"Say what?"

"That shit about me. I'm perfectly understood."

"Mhm... Sure, Bakugou," you said and walked over to him, placing a kiss on his cheek gently.

"I have to go. Bye!"

If you had stayed long enough, you would've seen the blush on his cheeks.

~

"Bakugou, wait up!" Kirishima called out and the ash blonde stopped, looking back at the redhead.

"What do you want?" Bakugou asked, letting Kirishima drape his arm across his shoulders.

"Are you going to see (L/N) again? You've been going there a lot recently. Dude, if you have feelings for her, just tell her!"

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"Ah, come on! I'll go with you!" Kirishima smiled widely and Bakugou rolled his eyes, making his way towards the support department.

"Wow, that's amazing! I wish I could be as cool as you!" he heard you say the closer he got to the support department.

"What are you talking about? You already are cooler than me?" someone else replied. A deeper voice.

"No way! You're in the hero course now. You deserve to be there. You have an amazing quirk," he heard you say and Bakugou hesitated at the door. "Mine just has to do with controlling stupid air."

"It's not stupid, it's-" the other person who was speaking was cut off when Bakugou opened the door.

"Oh, hey. What's up?" you asked. Standing in front of you was Shinsou Hitoshi.

"Sorry for interrupting!" Kirishima said and you smiled, shaking your head. Bakugou noticed your eyes were slightly red.

"No worries. We weren't talking about much anyway," you assured him.

"I didn't even know that you two knew each other," Kirishima said and you and Shinsou exchanged glances before looking back at him.

"No one ever really asks," you replied with a shrug.

"Oi, did that bastard make you cry?" Bakugou asked abruptly and you looked over at him.

"What? Oh, no! He didn't... I um...," you trailed off and Shinsou sighed, ruffling your hair. He then leaned in close to whisper in your ear. Bakugou felt his rage build up.

"If you need anything, just call for me. I'll be right outside if he gives you trouble," Shinsou said and you nodded, watching him walk out of the room.

"So, how exactly do you two know each other?" Kirishima asked and you ran your fingers through your hair.

"Well, that's kind of a long story, but I'm his adopted sister. Anyway, did you guys need anything?"

"Sister?" Bakugou repeated, relaxing a bit. You furrowed your eyebrows and then started to laugh.

"What? Did you think we were dating or something?"

"Why does it matter to me?"

"You tell me. You seemed on edge just until Hitoshi left. Were you jealous?"

"Shut up!"

"So you were jealous! How cute!"

"I said shut up!"

~

"If you make her cry, I won't forgive you," Shinsou said, making Bakugou roll his eyes. He knew you were a bit sensitive despite how hard you tried to hold everything in.

"I won't," he muttered. This was the first time Bakugou had gotten Shinsou's blessing to take you out on a date, which was a very awkward experience. He liked it better when he'd sneak you out to places without his knowledge, but you seemed to hate keeping secrets from him.

"Good. She's been looking forward to this, so don't screw it up." Bakugou felt like laughing. He would never dream of screwing things up.

"Bakugou!" you called out and latched onto his arm with a smile. You looked up at Shinsou and waved. "Don't give him a hard time, Hitoshi. We'll be fine. I'll be back at the dorms before sundown."

"You better be," Shinsou replied and you stuck your tongue out at him before you grabbed Bakugou's hand, leading him away.

~

"Can you believe it's been over a year since we started dating?" you asked softly. You were laying beside Bakugou with your head on his chest, running your fingers through your hair.

"It hasn't even felt like that long," Bakugou admitted, closing his eyes.

"Yeah... You're going to be graduating soon. You're gonna be a hero and I'm going to be here for another year," you frowned and Bakugou opened one of his eyes to look at you.

"Oi, you'll be fine without me. You're more than capable of protecting yourself," he assured, opening his other eye.

"No, it's not that. It's just...," you paused and let out a sigh. "What if you find someone else? A year is a long time... You could probably become the top pro hero in that time."

"I don't want to hear you talking about shit like that. Look at me, (Y/N)." You obeyed, staring up into his crimson eyes. It was only the times that you two were alone that you truly got to see the soft side of him. "I'm not going to find someone else. You're the only one that I want."

"How can you be so sure? You never know, Katsuki."

"I know because no one else can be like you. You're mine and I don't plan on losing you, got it?" You laughed softly.

"Okay, okay. Fine. I'll miss you. We wouldn't be able to go on many dates and cuddle like this once you graduate."

"I'll make it up to you then, princess. Don't worry about that. To be honest, I don't really care about how long it takes for me to be at the top anymore. As long as you're there and I know I have a little support coming from you, it's fine."

"I think you and I both know that's a lie," you teased and he smirked.

"Maybe, but I want you to be my number one fan," he said and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

"You don't even have to ask, I already am."

[sharkbaitsekki]

Cin, do you have any tips on writing? Specificaly about how to finish? I've been working on this project for years but it seems like I always stuck at the same part over and over again. I always notice the flaws, plot holes, and all of those things that I can't ignore. Like I have to do something about them before I finish the whole thing, because gosh, rewriting +80k words is hell. Thank you in advance. I'm sorry for troubling you. Your writing really inspires me.

Sorry for taking so long to answer, I’ve been thinking about this for a while!

Okay, so there’s a few things I can tell you from my point of view, as someone who is also a huge perfectionist and who cringes every time someone comments on an old fic and says it’s the best thing they’ve ever read. 

Don’t re-read when you’re done writing: At some point, I became so exhausted with editing and rewriting that I was becoming stressed and uninterested with fanfiction writing. That led me to take an indefinite hiatus, and I only got unhappier because I’d just lost my biggest hobby. When I came back to fanfic writing, I stopped re-reading and “beta”ing myself after finishing a chapter. I wrote as much as I could and posted, and if I had to re-read my work before posting, it was because I’d forgotten what happened and needed a refresher. Not because I wanted to edit stuff. 

Low-key re-read after posting: Applicable if you’re posting chapter-by-chapter rather than a whole work at once. Once you post, even before you get the first hit, go back to re-read your chapter, or at least, skim over it. It’ll help you see the finished product and decide if the mistakes you caught are worth fixing right now or not. A spelling error is fine. I spot spelling errors after my first re-read and I never fix them unless they affect comprehension of the text. Minor details are fine, too. But let’s say you realize in retrospect that you have a huge logistic error, you can fix it before anyone else catches it. Posting before re-reading helps you control the urge to nitpick because it’s kind of a tedious process to go back to the editing screen (especially if you’re on FFN lmaooo). 

Re-read and edit after a few days: I say a few days as a general rule, but I only ever re-read and edited the first 5-6 chapters of CML three years after they were posted. At that point, you’ve forgotten then tiny details, so you can take a look at your work with a fresh eye and actually overhaul it as needed. I firmly believe that overhauling your work shouldn’t even be an option, as the first draft is always the final one for me. However, I understand that a lot of people like to make several drafts before their final version. It really depends what your writing style is. 

Make a list of things to rework: List off the stuff you feel you need to rework. Ask yourself; am I being a nitpick? Are these actual plot holes or details too big to ignore? Are these things aspects of the fic that I can’t control because I’m not far off in writing it yet? Answer all these questions, and write down your answers. Visualize what you feel about your listed items. And then, don’t fix them. It might be hard, but don’t go back and retouch them, even if you’ve identified them. Keep moving on, and you’ll always have that list and your identified solutions for when you actually do go back and edit your work. But don’t do that until a few days later, at least. 

Get a second opinion: I like posting chapter-by-chapter because receiving feedback from fellow fans of the series is so important to me. Feedback, ranging from “I love it!” to “I think you could fix this” to “This fic isn’t for me” is extremely helpful because it helps me be adequately critical of my work. Praise helps soothe my self-consciousness and criticism helps me better myself. Summary-type feedback helps me get a new glance at the way my work is interpreted, and theory-type feedback helps me get inspired for chapters to come, and serves as a sort of suggestion box for things I can include in my next chapters. If you’re not getting feedback from fellow fans, then maybe get someone who can read/beta your work? I know that showing people a work in progress can be intimidating, and downright uncomfortable, but if you want to stop being nitpicky over your own writing, you absolutely need a second opinion. Publishing companies have editors for a reason. Scientific journals do the same thing, and it’s called the “peer-review” system. All types of writing rely on outsider feedback to help improve, and you shouldn’t consider yourself exempt from that rule. I don’t like betas, but I sure as hell couldn’t function without fan feedback to my writing. 

Don’t rewrite: Sounds vague, huh? The only part of your ask that actually makes me agitated is the idea of “rewriting 80k+ words”. For someone who writes 30k chapters, rewriting 80k sounds like actual hell. Spare yourself. Love yourself, my dude, don’t rewrite. Rewriting entire chapters is like enabling yourself in an unhealthy loop of “I’m not good enough and therefore should always start from scratch”. Editing is absolutely necessary, but rewriting? Rewriting is a tool, not a method. If a passage makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, rewriting is necessary. But rewriting should not be your go-to method of editing your work. 

Push forward!!!: Don’t allow yourself to dwell over what you’ve already written, and just keep writing. Consider your entire story a first draft, and don’t edit it. Just write, keep pushing forward, even if you are conscious that huge problems exist within it. Don’t censor yourself through early editing because that’s only a recipe to make you frustrated with your own writing and to keep you in a writer’s block forever. You never know what type of creative ideas you’re erasing by stopping yourself before you’ve even finished. Push forward, push forward, push forward, always. Writing is something you do with your brain, but also with your heart. Trust yourself; if you’ve written something to get this far, then surely, it must be good enough for now. 

Tl;dr: Don’t edit until you’re done. Get an outsider’s point of view on your work. Don’t re-read your work. Type until your fingers are about to fall off before you stop to go back. 

This comes from someone who’s been writing since the teeny-weeny age of 12, and who’s gone through all the steps to becoming a writer who can be proud of her own work. I’ve gone from absolute word-diarrhea-type stories to convoluted stories with plot twists I can hardly imagine myself. I’ve gone through the feeling of being on top of the world, to being ready to quit, to being frustrated with my inability to write. I’ve been accompanied through my entire process by fans of the series I adore and readers of my works, and I’ve been nurtured by their feedback and their support. Like I said earlier, writing is something done with your brain, but mostly with your heart. Creativity is not something you should keep on a leash. If you want to finish your stories, try to turn your brain off for a while and just write, write, write like your heart is about to explode unless you put your feelings on paper. I know I’ve spent too much time listening to my self-conscious brain to ever try to hold my heart back ever again.