#longlonglonglong post

[morgueghost]

ignore my ugly ass bed, and focus on the pretty cards i’m laying out to charge during this full moon :D

soooo this is gnna be a Very Long post my autistic self is soooo excited for this full moon.. i'll put it under a readmore but if you read it & wanna chat abt it pls pls pls feel free!! 

so yall probably know it’s the full moon tonight!! (if you don’t, now you do :D) and i think it being in virgo is giving me all the energy i have bc i usually,, don’t have Nearly this much energy by the end of the day (its 8.40 my time) so thank you miss moon and miss virgo i love you both

honestly? im not great at charging things under the moon. i always think to myself the night before “yes, i’ll set everything out, let it charge, it’ll be great!” and then the night of i forget, or i’m too tired to spread out all my decks so i just line them up still in their boxes, or i say screw it and go to sleep.. 

tonight i thought at the very least i need to charge my tarot of a moon garden deck, since i meant to during the super moon and forgot and still feel badly.. i mean come on, it’s a moon themed deck lol 

while i was looking for the moon to use as a second signifier in my full moon in virgo spread the ace of pentacles really caught my eye, and then so did the sun, and then i couldn’t get the queen of cups out of my head. i found the moon, set it aside, and went through the rest of the deck looking for the queen of cups. lo and behold, i’d already passed her, 3 cards into the deck lol

so i dunno, i thought there must be a reason the cards were calling me, because i’m not that kinda person.. i have great intuition, but i dont see or hear “signs” from anything really. it just doesn’t happen to me except very rarely (like with crows and bluejays, ask me abt it if you wanna :D)

and i remembered seeing a post some time ago about placing a card that you’d like to manifest on top of your deck while charging, and i thought okay, i’ll do that! but i had 3 cards.. i think it was luck that the ace of pentacles was one that i pulled, because ace’s are beginnings, and it gave me the idea to have one card as an intention i’d like to start the next moon cycle with, and one card as an intention i’d like to have by the end of it

but i still had the sun! now the tarot of a moon garden’s sun is literally happiness in a bottle, it’s like joy overflowing and cheerfulness making you grin so hard your cheeks hurt! it’s a beautiful card, but not the representation of the sun i wanted.. so i put it back, and thought of the sun from archeon tarot.. now that was what i wanted! hope, a brighter future..

so i go through the archeon deck looking for a second card, and i see temperance pretty quickly.. i have a problem with archeon’s temperance, which makes me sad because temperance is a very good card! i love it in most decks! so i’m not sure what it is about archeon’s temperance, but any time i draw it in a reading i’m stumped. 

i just don’t see much in it, and i’m an intuitive reader.. it’s a woman with wings (i don’t see her as an angel) a sheep to her left, a tiger to her right. balance, yes, but so blatantly stated that i can’t see anything else in the card

now i’ve always loved sheep, always identified with them. innocent, needing protection, and guidance. it’s just always been an animal i loved and saw myself in. but lately i’ve been feeling a connection with tigers as well. there’s a sideblog of mine that has a past life tag almost full of them, only starting a month or two ago.. i still don’t know why i have such a sudden love for them, or why i identify with them so strongly right now, but i do.. and it made me pull temperance back out and really look at it

it was like a whole different card, full of meaning about duality and fragility and strength and the way they can coexist and the way they can’t.. the way one person can bring one thing out in you and a second person another.. just all kinds of very personal meaning.. so i put the sun back and chose temperance instead

so now i’ve got two decks out, plus the two i’m using for my reading (enchanted and prisma visions), and i still want the sun! so i pull out my ludy lescot’s tarot, and as i’m going through it i’m thinking wow i might have to put intentions to avoid for this deck because it’s just so dark.. i didn’teven notice the sun in this deck.. they don’t have any names, so it’s just numbers, and if you think i have the major arcana numbers memorized you’re dead wrong lol (i know the first four, death, and the world, that’s it) 

but i get to the last few cards in the deck and i see the moon and i think okay, this is the one i want to reach.. and then i see the two of cups, and my heart aches, and i think okay, i don’t want to choose this card, but i need to choose this card. i need to start this cycle with this intention. i’m not gonna talk about it here but i really just needed to

and then i get the empress, and i think yes this is it! it has a dove, a smiling woman (one of the few in the entire deck, they’re usually crying or bleeding) and feels powerful, something to draw me into the future i want for myself

and it’s completely at odds with the two of cups, and i’m like wtf.. the empress isn’t right to end with, but the two of cups certainly isn’t! the moon has to be what i end with. so i shove my compulsion to keep things the same down and lay the two of cups, then the empress in front of it, and the moon at the end. the empress will help me through the two of cups no matter which way it falls, and i will reach the moon

so now we get to my last deck, the wild unknown, and i think ‘it’s so simplistic, this’ll be easy’ and i’m a dumbass who always forgets just how beautiful this deck is.. so beautiful one of my friends got their first tattoo of its four of swords (and i’m still jealous, years later lol) so i go through and end up with eight cards to choose from.. and i’m like fuck i shoulda knocked on wood lol

now with the other decks i went completely by intuition, but this deck has one of my absolute favorite guidebooks.. it’s so simple but specific and detailed and spot on every time, i love it.. so i went through and used the book to discard the mother of pentacles and another i’ve already forgotten oops

so i’m left with the sun, which i know i have to use both because it’s been calling me from the start and because the book’s interpretation is exactly what i wanted the card to mean, as well as the seven of wands, daughter of wands, daughter of pentacles, three of cups, and the high priestess

that’s a lot of fuckin cards guys.. but i couldn’t choose between them! i knew i wanted to start with the sun and end with the high priestess, but i didn’t want to put the other four back in the deck, mostly because i wanted them all as intentions for this moon cycle, but also because 4 is my ocd number and i’d already ignored my compulsions once so to do it again would’ve been hard

so i put them in order, and they covered the deck perfectly, and it all worked out! this moon cycle is going to be so good for me. the Dreaded Trauma Month is ending, the 11th of march is only one day, spring is coming, and the rest of the month will be good. there’s good astrology stuff happening, i have good intentions set, and i’m prepared for the possibility that i won’t make them happen, and i’m not limiting myself to just this moon cycle to fulfill them or even start them

so i’m really fuckin excited!!!!