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Hi K! I have a request if you fancy it... 👀
❛ i could keep you safe. they’re all afraid of me. ❜ with Tommy or John. 🙏🏻🫶🏻
Thanks so much for sending this in, Daisy! I’m sorry it took me a little bit to get it written — I decided to write this for John. I hope you like what I did with the prompt! ☺️
People Know Better | John Shelby x Reader
Pairing: John Shelby x fem!Reader
Summary: (Y/N) meets a rather charming man at a party who seems to have no worries towards dealing with the group of men who were giving her a hard time.
Warnings: drinking
Word Count: 1089
COMMENTS, REBLOGS & ANONS ARE APPRECIATED — I’D LOVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF THE STORY!
A smile formed on (Y/N)’s as she looked around the club. She was happy she decided to come to this place. The energy coming off of the clubgoers was so poignant that she could practically feel it.
She had been sitting at the bar, occupying a single seat in hopes that she could have a drink or two and do some people watching. She was able to get that wish for most of the evening…but then two men showed up.
They sat in the two open seats next to (Y/N). Those seats had been previously occupied by an older couple, and they’d been a lovely pair to conversate with. (Y/N) had the immediate feeling that this new pair wasn’t going to follow suit in that same manner.
At first they kept to themselves, ordering a few drinks and then talking with each other. But then she caught their eye.
It started with a few glances coming from the man that was facing her direction. She was able to see him grinning at her from the corner of her eye, and she tried her best to ignore and keep her eyes trained on the dance floor. But then the first guy nudged the second; the man that was sitting closer to her. The hand that brushed her arm made her finally look in their direction.
“Not gonna give us anything attention, sweetheart?” the first man questioned, a grin on his face.
“Why should I?” she asked in a curt tone, raising her eyebrows at them. She hoped that her uninterested nature would make the conversation short and sweet. Both men looked at each other upon hearing her response. They seemed surprised that she offered push back instead of going along with with they’d said. “That’s what I thought,” she said, more so to herself then anything, before turning back to look out at the sea of people again.
That wasn’t the end of the interaction though. “Who do you think you are speaking to us like that?” one of them quipped, incredulousness present in his tone.
(Y/N) kept her eyes trained straight ahead. Maybe if I ignore them, they’ll stop, she thought to herself, silently hoping for that to be the truth.
“Hey, we’re talking to you, doll,” the other man chimed in, his tone holding more frustration than anything.
(Y/N)’s head didn’t turn.
They still didn’t get the message. Thinking of a new plan, they both stood from their stools and moved so that they were now standing in front of her. “Whatcha gonna do now, huh?” one of them questioned her, a grin forming on his face.
“The lady doesn’t want to speak to the two of you,” another voice entered the conversation before (Y/N) could say anything. “Give it up before either of you do something stupid,” the new man then gave a suggestion.
“We’re in the middle of some…”
“Let’s get outta here, mate,” the second man stopped the first before he could finish his sentence. His eyes were trained on the new man, and the smirk he was previously wearing was nowhere to be seen now.
This interjection made the first man turn and look to see who this new person was. His demeanor flipped on a dime. “Let’s go,” he muttered to his friend, tugging on the lapels of his suit jacket in attempts to save face before he nodded his head to his friend, a silent gesture for them to leave the bar.
(Y/N) finally got to look at the man who’d made the others leave. He was tall, wearing a long, black coat and a peaked cap covered his head. He watched the two men leave before finally turning and meeting (Y/N)’s gaze. A grin formed on his features as his blue eyes met hers.
“Thank you,” (Y/N) smiled at him, appreciative of his sudden company, “those two were insufferable.”
“It’s my pleasure,” the man grinned at her. He motioned to one of the empty barstools and (Y/N) nodded her head, knowing that he was asking if her could join her.
“You’re not planning on trying the same thing, are you?” she questioned him, a light-hearted tone laced into her words.
“No,” the man shook his head. “I could keep you safe though. They’re all afraid of me.”
His second statement made (Y/N)’s eyebrows furrow. “How can you be sure of that?” She didn’t quite need help being kept ‘safe’, but she’d happily accept his offer of keeping those men, and any others like them for that matter, away from her.
“People know better than to speak against a Shelby, love,” he responded in a confident manner.
“Ahh, and you’d be a Shelby?” she questioned, tilting her head slightly to show her intrigue.
“John Shelby,” he introduced himself, holding his hand out between them to extend a formal greeting.
“It’s nice to meet you, John,” she smiled at him, “my name’s (Y/N).”
She then accepted his hand, her eyes widening and lips curving upwards slightly in surprise as he suavely lifted it to his lips and kissed the top of it. Not a single thing about him was making her feel like she should be cautious around him. If anything, his confidence was making her more intrigued by him. It was refreshing, and a complete 180 from how the other two men had attempted to get her attention.
He winked at her as he lowered her hand, and all she could do was grin as she tried not to let her cheeks heat up too much. The last thing she wanted to do was freeze up in this moment. So she put on a confident face and maintained eye contact with him until he looked away to call the bartender over.
John asked for another round for the two of them, waiting until the man left to begin making their drinks before he turned to look at (Y/N) again. He didn’t expect doing a routine check of one of the Shelby-owned clubs would turn into this, but he wasn’t complaining in the slightest.
(Y/N) also didn’t expect to meet this handsome stranger when she entered the club to do some people watching. But as John handed her a glass and flashed one of the grins that she was so quickly falling for, she realized that her night had turned into something that was ten times better than anything she could have planned out.
MASTERLIST
Tagged: @succubaby @mystcldydrms @look-at-the-soul @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing
@evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @theshelbyslimited @peakyswritings @watercolorskyy
@strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @stevie75 @dark-academia-slut
@zablife @cillmequick @depxiety @shelundeadxxxx @padfootdaredmetoo
@crabat-the-queen @sebastianstangirl01 @everythingelseisextra @kmc1989 @papichulo120627
@brummiereader @adaydreamaway08 @justrainandcoffee @peakyltd @johannelis2302nely
@ce1iat @wildheartsalwaysburn @dragons-are-my-favorite @jessimay89 @slaymybreathaway
@mysticalfuncollectorus @sleepyycatt @novashelby @wonderlanddreamer
#john shelby#john shelby x reader#john shelby x you#john shelby x y/n#john shelby blurb#john shelby imagine#john shelby fanfic#john shelby fic#john shelby fanfiction#peaky blinders#peaky blinders x reader#peaky blinders x y/n#peaky blinders x you#peaky blinders blurb#peaky blinders imagine#peaky blinders fanfic#peaky blinders fic#peaky blinders fanfiction#fanfiction#fanfic
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a/n: honestly, bless this man for being such a dick (and having such a dick, holy fuck i’m gonna pass out)
summary: cock throbbing in his grasp, he stared down at your pussy as he swept his intimidating girth against it, “you know, you have been such a fucking tease for way too long… only giving me handjobs or rubbing that little cunt on me, basically taunting me, while the rest of these assholes get to have you, all of you, anyway they want,” he stopped nudging your buzzing pearl and instead dragged through your petals till he found your opening, quivering and dripping as he nuzzled against it, “I’m fucking tired…” he groaned slowly, “…so I’m done waiting… I’ll finally feel this fucking pussy wrapped around me whether you like it or not.”
warnings: innocent!reader x frat!bucky barnes, stepbro!steve rogers, frat!ari levinson, marc spector, ransom drysdale, curtis everett, lloyd hansen, andy barber, thor odinson, scott lang, miguel o'hara, frank castle, billy russo, smut, dark content, dubcon halfway through, college au, polyamory, kissing, corruption kink, shower sex, bondage, exhibitionism, voyeurism, crying, dacryphilia, dirty talk, size kink, gaping, belly bulge, manhandling, overstimulation, orgasm denial, edging, multiple orgasms, squirting, impact play, pain kink, spit kink, choking, masturbation, oral, fingering, anal, pussyjob, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, bukkake
word count: 6770
∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽
take her under your wing au masterlist | 101, intro to the au
masterlist | join my taglist

“Ah, not yet,” your stepbrother groaned over the booming music, that rocked the frat house, as he cut the sip of his beer short, “if you really don’t wanna be here anymore, can’t you just like go up to my room and wait?”
“Seriously?” a long sigh flowed from your lungs, “then I’d rather just walk back to my dorm alone, I don’t even know why you insist on escorting me like I’m a child.”
“Because you shouldn’t walk alone at night,” Steve shot back as his gaze continued to keep his focus on the party around him, “don’t be a brat, just go wait upstairs.”
“Well, can’t someone else do it then if you’re so busy, your majesty,” your comment earned you a glare.
“You’re my responsibility,” he stated, the bridge of his nose twitching heatedly as he glowered down at you, “I’m not just gonna dump my problems on my friends for them to deal with.”
“Wow, okay,” you nearly choked on the lump that promptly formed in your throat, “I’m sorry for being such a burden then,” you muttered before spinning around and storming up the stairs.
The door to Steve’s room slammed shut like a crack of thunder behind your spine.
Chest still heaving, you stared down at the ground for a long moment before you finally managed to force your feet to move once again and peel you away from the door. You flopped down onto the bed with a heated huff, blinking up at the ceiling before your gaze flickered to the night sky twinkling on the other side of the windows.
Though as you laid there, your stepbrother's last words nearly swallowing you whole as they played on a loop in your brain like a plague, a different sound suddenly caught your ears and caused your cheeks to instantly heat up with something other than fury.
Reverberating through the thin wall, shrill moans were tangled with deep ones, some that were familiar, though you didn’t place them till the female whines started screaming out his name.
“Bucky, Bucky, Bucky–,” the cries rang out each time the thud of a headboard thumped against the wall.
And though you couldn’t make out every word, you still thought that you could hear Bucky’s low timbre crackle in dirty soliloquies, fractured sentences that soon persuaded your hands to subconsciously drift down along your frame.
Though by the time that your fingers had found their way down your pants and stuffed up your hole, rocking them to the same rhythm of the pounding that nearly cracked through the wall, the door to Steve’s room was suddenly ripped open and you tore your hand away from your cunt.
“I am only gonna say this once, so you better fucking listen up,” he grumbled as he kicked the door shut behind him, “I–… am sorry…” he struggled to huff, “there, you happy now?”
The lewd noises that echoed through the wall didn’t faze him at all as he apparently was so used to such background noise in the house that he barely registered it at all.
“So, you don’t think I’m a burden?” you uttered, propping yourself up on your elbows as doubt stiffened your words.
“…no…” resisting a roll of his eye, he instead faintly shook his head as he began to walk closer, “you’re not a burden… a brat? Yes,” he stated, “but I guess you’re not that bad…” a slight smirk twitched at his lip before he then bent down over you and kissed you.
Though as it turned out to not just be a swift peck he’d sought after as he layed down at top of you, one of your palms pressed against the centre of his burly chest before you twisted your lips out of the way, “wait, wait,” your head faintly shook as you tried not to succumb to his intoxicating kiss, “no, if we do this, then we’ll both just fall asleep here.”
“Would that really be so bad?” a soft scoff crackled in his throat.
“I wanna sleep in my own bed tonight,” you tilted your head as you blinked up at him, your brows gently knitting together at the plea, “I didn’t even wanna come tonight.”
“Oh, come on,” he leaned back down till his nose ghosted against your own, “I’m too tired to walk across campus right now, and if I’m tired, then I can only imagine how you must feel. Come on, just crash here tonight, do it for me,” he croaked, “and you’ve been so boring all evening, barely had a sip of anything, so at the very least you owe me this.”
“But–”
“You can pop in some earplugs, then you won’t even know the difference,” his lips began to flutter across your cheekbone till his voice tickled your ear, all the while the party right downstairs still boomed above his manipulative murmurs.
And though you knew that it wasn’t true, that even if you could somehow block out the noise, you still couldn’t stop the base from rocking the entire house and make you dizzy as you laid in your stepbrother’s bed. So, as fear arose inside of you at the thought of telling him no, you instead heard yourself timidly whispering, “…alright…”
You’d managed to slip out of Steve’s bed without waking him up before you then sneaked down the long hallway to borrow the upstairs shower.
Though once the water was drizzling down upon you, in the relaxing steam that floated around your form, your thoughts couldn’t help but drift back to the night before, though not of the manner that your stepbrother had put you to sleep, but instead to the sinful sounds of his best friend that you’d overheard.
Swiftly, the pads of your fingers began to draw needy circles over your clit to try and dull the scandalously intruding thoughts, though even when you detached the showerhead to spray the gush of water directly against your pussy, a dire problem continued to stand in your way, like you were peeping over the edge of a cliff, too petrified to jump by yourself.
However, as time began to slip away from you, the door suddenly barged open.
Your stifled whimpers promptly ceased echoing in the shower as your eyes snapped to the figure now standing in the doorway.
“B-Bucky!” you dropped the showerhead in your humiliated scramble to twist your nude frame out of his sight. Picking it up as it began to spray up into your face, you swiftly spun around and splayed your hands across your frame in a feeble attempt at covering yourself up.
“You do know that this door locks, right?” he chuckled as he gently pushed the door closed behind him, the one that you had apparently still been half-asleep when you forgot to bolt, “that’s twice now,” he pointed out with a grin as his stare pierced through the fogged up glass, deja vu smacking you in the face as well, as he reminded you of the incident that had happened over the summer break, “I think if it ever happens a third, then I should win a prize or something.”
“Get out!” you screeched, embarrassment eating you alive.
“Why? So that you can go back to getting yourself off?”
“I–,” your head swiftly soared to catch sight of him over your shoulder, “I wasn’t–…” before you squeezed your eyes shut and huffed, “oh my god, I hate you…”
“I know,” he simply smiled at your groan before he shifted to go grab his toothbrush from the cabinet.
But before he could be on his way and slip back out, your head started spinning as your gaze traced him on the other side of the glass, going about his business as if you weren’t standing stark naked one single meter away from him.
“W-wait!” you then heard yourself squeak right as his fingers reached for the door handle. Glancing back over his shoulder at you, the words that then slipped out of your lungs were accompanied by a shiver that trickled down your spine, “…could you–…”
Blinking back at you, his eyes faintly squinted as a smirk plagued his lips, “could I what?”
“Well, I just–,” your breathing was ragged as you averted your gaze, “I’m having a bit of trouble making myself–, uhm…”
“Aw,” his broad shoulders gently shook in a laugh as he then began to mock, “what’s the matter? Can you not make your little pussy cum? Have you still not learned how to do it on your own?”
“I–, n-no!” you hastily lied, “I’ve totally done it myself, loads of times, what are you talking about?” even though the truth actually was that the sought-after high was still too overwhelming to reach on your own, “I just right now when I tried that it won’t happen… I–… I don’t know what’s wrong with me…”
“Well, maybe you’re doing it wrong,” he shrugged, “or school’s just got you crazy stressed out or something, so it can’t snap into place.”
“Yeah?” a small drop of assurance settled within your belly, “…so would you maybe–, I mean, I know that you’ve done it for me before, but still, could you maybe help me out a tiny bit?”
A big huff flowed from his lungs as Bucky then pretended that your request was something he wished to be no part of, “alright,” he teasingly grumbled, “I guess I could lend you a hand, but just saying, it’ll cost you.”
“Cost me?”
“Yeah,” he tried to keep a straight face, “I don’t give out favours free of charge.”
“Fine,” a short giggle bubbled out of you as you assumed his dramatic terms were but a joke, “I promise I’ll be your getaway driver on your next diamond heist or whatever.”
His tongue briefly flickered out to wet his lips before he simply chuckled condescendingly in return, “you’re cute,” before he then began to strip out of his sleepwear.
Though you probably shouldn’t have been surprised, in your mind, you had merely pictured that he would stay on the other glass a moment longer to give you the guidance that you needed, only explaining what you should do and nothing more before he then left you to carry it out on your own.
“What are you doing?” your eyes instinctively grew wide as his clothing hit the tile floor.
“Sweetheart,” his head swiftly cocked, “you literally just begged all pathetically for my help,” he pushed his underwear down, revealing his beast of a cock, already half-hard and heavy, resting like a freaking baseball bat against the top of his thigh, “so that���s what I’m doing,” he brashly stated before he then joined you in the shower.
Grabbing your face with both of his hands, he then held you in a kiss until the tension in your body gradually began to fade away. When you started to suck in deep breaths through your nose, truly landing in the devilish deal you’d just agreed to, one of his fiendishly, inked hands then began to wander. Skimming down over your wet skin, his palm first caught your tits, briefly giving one of your nipples a teasing tug, before his touch strayed down to knead your ass and draw you that much closer to his frame.
With the showerhead still clutched in your hands, hugged closely to your body, and gushing onto the both of you, the drawn-out kiss then broke when Bucky’s hand snuck down between your legs. Swiftly, he sought out your clit, already puffy and throbbing from the way you had bullied it mere moments earlier.
However, then, as you blinked up at him, mouth falling open in a gasp, he suddenly spun you around for your spine to be pressed up against his brawny chest, before stealing the showerhead from your grasp.
Extending his thumb, he dexterously switched the settings and changed the flow of water from several small and gentle streams to one thicker, and much stronger, jet.
A whimper rolled off your tongue as he then held the gush down to spray its firm pressure directly against your little pearl, and as you had already been so worked up when he found you, it didn’t take very long at all before you finally tasted that sweet high that you still weren’t yet brave enough to catch on your own, his expert touch instead guiding you there. Your eyes squeezed shut as, not only your head fell back against his broad shoulder, but your knees also threatened to give out, lending him to snake a swift arm around your waist to keep you from collapsing entirely.
“Oh my god,” you panted, completely melted back against his bulky physique, “how did you do that so fast?”
And as the muffled grunt, that had vibrated in his chest at your unravelling, morphed into a cocky chuckle that tickled your ear, he simply murmured, “you’re welcome,” before he then pressed a peck to the top of your head and began to tilt your body back away from his.
But at the loss of contact, one of your hands suddenly shot out in desperation before he could disappear completely, “wait, please I–,” you gasped foggily, “more–, I want more–, please don’t stop–”
And as you peeked over your shoulder to meet his eye, a glimmer flickered in his blue ones, “oh, looks like someone’s getting greedy,” he smirked, “you finally developing a taste for all of this? Becoming the little slut we’ve been telling you all along that you actually are?”
“No, I’m not a–,” you couldn’t even echo the same word out loud, “…Bucky, please? I just–, I can’t do it on my own–, I mean, not like you or any of the others can…”
“Well, you’ve just not had enough practice yet,” his palm swept up to find your jaw as he took a step back in your proximity, “you’ll get there if you just listen to Steve and stick with all of us,” he uttered as he turned your head for his lips to capture your own.
As he kissed you over your shoulder, his now raging hard-on digging into the softness of your bottom, he then blindly slotted the showerhead back into place on the wall, lending the water to drizzle down over the both of you as he swept his tongue ravenously against your own.
His feet then began to shift on the wet floor, and steered your own to move slightly as well, till your tits smooshed up against the cool tile wall of the shower. When his lips then faded and began to migrate down and past your neck, you continued to peek back at him as he then sank down onto his knees behind you. Grabbing your hips, he yanked your butt closer to his head till your back was arched and your arms were folded up against the wall for support. Burying his face in between your thighs, he then spent the next chunk of time eating you out till he once again had you tumbling over the edge.
Though after you’d cum this second time, he feverishly reached up and shut off the water before he plucked up your dazed form and dragged you out of the shower, planting you instead on the counter beside the sink.
Still all dizzy, you swayed slightly as Bucky then took a few steps away from you, enough to be out of your reach.
“I wanna see how many of your fingers you can fit inside that pretty little pussy of yours,” he demanded as his stare coasted down to your core, utterly on display as your limp legs hadn’t drifted closed yet.
“W-what?” you breathed, still too hazy to keep your heavy eyelids from temporarily blinding your vision.
“You heard what I said,” he briefly let a dollop of spit drop down into his open palm before he then grasped his thick girth and initiated a silky stroke, “show me.”
Though try as you might, the max you managed to cram inside of your drooling cunt was three of your digits as your stare stayed glued on his fist working over his big cock.
However as he watched you reach your capacity, he then stepped back up and, with his free hand, joined your own touch between your thighs. At first, as his gaze found your own and held it captive, the tips of his fingers traced your hole, all stretched out by your comparatively thin digits. But then, gradually, he traded your own touch out with his. To begin with, his finger hooked under one of your knuckles to pull one of your fingers out of your pussy, barely waiting any time at all before he then swapped places with it and slid his own digit in beside the two of yours that remained.
The stretch sent a shiver trickling down your spine and you swiftly tilted closer to crash your lips messily against his own.
And soon, none of your own fingers remained as he instead stuffed you full. Though you thought that two of his thick digits were a struggle, he somehow managed to work himself up and double it to four after he had coaxed your own touch away, his thumb being the only one he couldn’t cram inside, instead stretching it up to sweep against your swollen clit and roll it under the broad pad. His other hand stayed on his dick as your pussy began to stain his fingers with your cream, leaking needily into his palm.
Though just before you could cum once more, his zealous touch suddenly disappeared, denying you of the luxurious sensation once again. As you desperately reached down to take care of it yourself, he swiftly swatted your hand out of the way.
Both of his palms, still sticky from your essence as well as his own spit, then floated up to grasp the sides of your face before he then uttered, “grab my cock,” and frantically, you fulfilled his command as you shared his hot breath, “both hands, that’s it, good girl,” a gravelly groan rumbled in his throat as you wrapped your fingers around his fat girth and attempted a gentle stroke, “rub it against you,” he murmured as the tip of him was already mere inches away from your throbbing clit, “rub that big cock against your pussy, go on.”
And as you then tilted your hips and began to drag his hardness through your folds, parting your petals for his girth, a pout found your lips as you peeked down at his size as your juices soaked him, “why do you have to be so fucking big…” you heard yourself whine, “it’s not fair…”
“Aw, what’s wrong, huh?” he huffed out a cocky grin as he promptly leaned in a bit closer, “are you tired of not being able to take me? I thought you liked all the fun ways we make it work since you won’t let me even try to stick it in, how scaredlittle you think I’m too huge for it to ever work.”
“You are, that hasn’t changed, I’ve accepted that,” you puffed as you continued to tickle the bulbous tip of him against your core and drive yourself closer to the edge once again, “but I can just still, simultaneously, be a little sad about how I can’t do that with you, even with how crazy you make me, which is a mystery in itself, I don’t get it, frankly I think you’re a complete and utter asshole, but–, fuck… it’s like I lose my mind when I’m around you… all of you… I can’t even enter this house without forgetting my own name…”
But then, just before you could catch another orgasm, a low growl crackled in Bucky’s throat as your words caused him to finally snap, grasping your frame and tossing you over his shoulder before he nearly ripped the door off its hinges from how feverishly he yanked it open.
Stalking down the long hallways that slithered throughout the upper floor of the fraternity, fear arose in you at the thought that someone might spot you, though as you squeaked about it through your billowing laughter, Bucky only smacked your ass in return, lending you not to notice the handful of doors that clicked open behind you.
As you reached his room, your giggle still remained as he dropped you down upon his bed. You were too focused on him as he sank down over you to notice how he hadn’t bothered to shut the door.
Messily making out, his fingertips tickled your sides as he wrestled you lightly, grasping both of your wrists and pinning them above your head before his hips then grinded down against your own. Though your legs didn’t manage to tangle around him before he then flipped you around to lay on your stomach beneath him.
It continued to be all fun and game as he twisted your squirming hands down to the small of your back, even as he reached for a pair of handcuffs that rested on his nightstand before swiftly clicking them around your wrists, as you merely thought that it was something new and exciting, not him on the verge of crossing a line.
Though as he then yanked your hips up off of the mattress, your knees curling beneath you as your face and shoulder smooshed further into the bed, you playfully wiggled your ass back at him as you fully expected to feel the touch of his fingers or his tongue once again. But to your surprise, when you did feel something brush against your weepy cunt, your giggle finally ceased, gradually fizzling out as you realised what exactly it was that you were feeling caress against you.
“Wait, what are you–,” your neck twisted further as you tried to catch a glimpse of what he was doing, though only managed to spot his silhouette looming behind you.
Cock throbbing in his grasp, he stared down at your pussy as he swept his intimidating girth against it, “you know, you have been such a fucking tease for way too long… only giving me handjobs or rubbing that little cunt on me, basically taunting me, while the rest of these assholes get to have you, all of you, anyway they want,” he stopped nudging your buzzing pearl and instead dragged through your petals till he found your opening, quivering and dripping as he nuzzled against it, “I’m fucking tired…” he groaned slowly, “…so I’m done waiting… I’ll finally feel this fucking pussy wrapped around me whether you like it or not.”
“But I’m not ready–, Bucky, wait!” you tried to wiggle away from him, but he only grasped your ass and brought you back flush against him, “let’s just talk about this for a second–”
“What’s there to talk about, huh?”
“It won’t fit!” you yelped into the sheets.
“Yeah, probably not,” he smirked from behind you, “but I don’t care… I’ll just make it fit,” he uttered before then attempting to sink it in, though without success, his massive cock instead slipped through your slick folds and dragged roughly across your clit.
“Bucky, please! I’m scared!” you whimpered as his fat tip continued to nudge at your hole, smearing the mess leaking out of you further against your core, “you’re gonna break me in half!”
“I know, fuck, I know,” he chuckled darkly as he kept up his efforts, “your little pussy is just too goddamn tiny for this,” he pointed out before continuing anyway and trying once again to bury himself in your warmth, though this time failing as well, “fucking shit!” he exclaimed as rage began to bubble within him, making him huff like a bull behind you.
With a smack against your propped-up ass, he then took a step back before making his way around the bed to the nightstand. Once he’d grabbed a bottle of lube, he briefly dipped down to smother your frown with a peck.
“Please, Bucky,” you tried to plea once again, “you can stop now. You tried and it didn’t work, so just–, we can do something else, whatever you want, just please don’t try again.”
“But this is the only thing I want,” he murmured before kissing your nose and disappearing back behind you once more.
As he settled back into the same position as before, he liberally glazed his cock with some of the lube, as well as smearing some on your already slick pussy too, even pushing some inside of you with one of his long fingers.
And as he then attempted a third time, snapping his hips with all of his might, the very tip of him finally popped inside and an actual scream erupted from your lungs, partly from the severe stretch as he split you open with his monstrous girth, but also just from the pure shock of it miraculously working.
“Ah!” your vision blurred up with tears and you could barely breathe as your poor pussy ached around his obscene size he tried to wreck you with, “Buck! It’s too big! It’s too big!” your mind began to grow fuzzy as you’d never experienced such an intense sensation before, “o-oh, fuck, please take it out, it hurts!”
“Oh yeah, does it?” his palm swept up the goosebump-ridden skin on your back before he caught the cuffs that linked your wrists together, crudely tugging on them to drag you further down onto his cock, cramming even more of him inside of you, “it sure fucking looks like it, goddamn… I should take a picture of this shit, you’re so fucking stretched out right now, it looks like you might actually break on me,” his other hand drifted to your core to trace the way you struggled to take him.
“Oh fuck, too much–, too much!” you began to sob as he began to buck his hips and bury himself further inside of you, “t-that’s too deep, Bucky!”
“No, it’s not,” he chuckled breathlessly through a groan as he continued to stretch you to fit him, “I’m barely halfway.”
“Half–,” you gasped as it already felt as if he was so deep that you could feel him everywhere. From your toes that curled to all the way up in your fucking throat, there wasn’t a single part of you that didn’t flicker and spark for him like a bomb about to go off.
And as he huffed behind you with every laboured thrust, his hips snapping to crave his way deeper into your sweetness, his hands on you got rougher as they began to come down upon the curve of your bottom, smacking it and making you clench achingly around him at each blow.
The sniffles that filtered through your strangled moans then found Bucky’s ears, and he briefly tore his stare away from where he split you apart, to glance to your face and spot the tears that rolled down your cheeks.
“Are you fucking crying right now?” he couldn’t help but huff out a faint and amazed laugh, “aw, that’s okay, baby,” your mouth then fell open as one of his thumbs moved to plug up your tiny asshole, “you can cry if you need to…”
But through the piercing stretch that terrorised your soul, like shocks of electricity flicking through your nerves, you began to notice the euphoria slowly overpowering the pain, confusing you from how the two mixed and mingled. And then suddenly, Bucky’s greedy thrusts started to sound wetter and wetter with each sloppy slam into your soaked pussy, soon coming to a crescendo when your walls promptly squeezed down around him so tight that it forced his huge cock back out as your cunt achingly gushed around nothing and your wobbly knees collapsed beneath you.
Though as you came crashing down upon the bed, he wasted no time at all sinking down with you, “fuck… you’re doing so good for me, you know that?” your eyes rolled as he hummed directly in your ear, “just a little bit more, okay? Just relax around me, let me in,” he groaned as he struggled a moment to stuff himself back inside, pushing past your trembling sensitivity to make room for his length once again.
Though when he sank in, a low and blissful groan rumbling in his chest, it vibrated against your spine as he nearly crushed you as his hips began to roll and rut down into you, burying himself even deeper than before.
“Be a good girl, just lay right there and take it while I finally get to use this tiny little hole of yours,” he grunted as his efforts overstimulated you so fiercely that your legs trembled violently beneath him and drool began to trickle out of the corner of your mouth, soaking the sheets below, “mould you so good around me, make you take me, fit me perfectly, just the way you should, make you a pretty little fuckdoll for me…”
Though your face was twisted to face the door, it was a struggle to keep your eyes open, lending you only to notice the figures that filled up the exit when one of them took a step to the side and spoke up as he knocked on the neighbouring door.
“Yo, Steve!” Thor slammed his fist against the door till it creaked open, “bro, come out here.”
“Yeah, you gotta see this, man,” Ransom called out as well, his feet remaining in the threshold so his stare could stay glued on your cockdrunk visage.
And when your stepbrother stepped out to spot what was happening just in the next room, he swiftly leaned his form against the doorframe as a wide grin bloomed on his features.
“Holy shit,” Steve chuckled breathlessly as he stared at the pair of you in amazement, “well fucking done, Buck!”
“Thank you,” the man that squished you further into the mattress chuckled smugly as he tangled a burly arm under your chin and let his inked bicep flex against your pulse and choke you lightly, “thank you very much.”
“I mean, I for sure thought you’d have to hold out even longer,” Steve tilted his head slightly to catch a glimpse of how your cream stained Bucky’s cock as it helplessly leaked out of you, forming a messy ring around his fat girth.
“Well, sometimes patience doesn’t get you what you want. Sometimes you just gotta stop playing by the rules and make life your bitch,” Bucky grunted before his lips began to nibble at your ear, “right, Y/n?”
Scarcely registering their sinful words through your fucked out fog, all you could reply with was a slurred, “mmngmphh…” your mumbled moan only triggering Bucky to grow even more cocky than before.
“That’s right, baby, I knew you could fucking take it. You didn’t, but I sure did,” he panted against your neck, “see, if you weren’t such a little prude, then you would have gotten this big dick so much earlier, wouldn’t you have liked that? Instead of being such a brat and making me wait till everyone else had gotten to use you as their own personal little fucktoy to get off with.”
And though you tried to answer, you instead heard your stepbrother chuckle over your pathetic moans, “fucking hell, look at how wrecked she is. Buddy, I think you might have actually broken her,” before he glanced over his shoulder at Thor, “hey, go get the other. Wake them up if you have to, they shouldn’t miss another second of this shit.”
You barely noticed as the rest of the fraternity slowly filtered into the room as your eyes soon fluttered shut and yet another orgasm rocked your sense, your cunt creaming all over Bucky’s excruciatingly thick cock. When he then suddenly flipped you around onto your back, you dizzily discovered the audience that had formed as you hazily blinked around the crowd. Some were lined up behind Bucky, others off to the side of where you laid melted against the sheets, and a few remained staring in the doorway, though over half of them had already freed their own dicks, while the remaining few that hadn’t yet still only palmed their palpable tents as they watched intently.
A shrill yelp bubbled up your lungs as Bucky then tapped the hefty weight of his length against your overly sensitive pussy. Your legs were folded and crumbled on either side of your frame as he sloppily rubbed himself against your mess, letting the rest see just how much he had ruined you.
“You guys wanna see how pretty I can make her gape for me?” Bucky asked the others as his gaze stayed glued to your little hole, nuzzling against it as it looked as if it had snapped back into place, almost like he’d never been in there at all.
And with the cheers that promptly rumbled behind him, he then repeatedly rammed his cock inside your cunt before retreating completely with the lewd pop of your poor pussy letting go of his monstrous girth. Each time he slid inside, he gradually ventured further, burying himself deeper before pulling back out and watching as your hole steadily relaxed for him, moulding to his size. At first, your leaky entrance only winked back at them all a brief moment before snapping back into place, till you eventually gaped properly enough for them all to applaud in awe as Bucky paused a moment to grasp you with both of his broad palms and spread you wide, holding you open for everyone a moment longer before your hole quivered back into place.
Struggling to keep your eyes open, you then forced them to blink as you felt Frank momentarily step up beside you and swiftly free your hands from the cuffs that still kept them bound behind your back, seeing as you couldn’t possibly escape now that you were so cockdrunk you could barely stay awake.
All of their deep voices and lewd comments washed over you like a stormy sea, crashing into you and making you even more lightheaded than before.
Ari then shifted to kneel down next to you and scoop his palm under your head, tilting it up for your hazy vision to flicker down to the unobscured crude view of how your pretty pussy got impaled by Bucky’s obscene size, stretching you apart way beyond your limits.
And as he mercilessly drove his cock into you, his balls managed to smack against your slick skin as he finally buried himself completely inside of your warmth, the tip of him not only diving deep enough to kiss your cervix, but to bump and bully against it with such force that it caused you to repeatedly lose your breath.
You had never felt so full before in your life, surely too full, as even though you were blinking down at the hard evidence before you, you still didn’t fully believe that you were capable of such feats, of taking him the way that he made you.
“O-oh, fuck…” you shakily whimpered when you caught sight of the way his monstrous size bulged through your belly, making it seem as though he was fucking straight through your pussy and into your guts.
Your teary eyes then flickered to find Steve in the crowd before one of your hands weakly grabbed for him. Seeing as it was the very least he could do, he granted you the comfort and closed the short distance, trading places with the frat’s president, before he grasped your trembling palm in his own.
“Damn,” you faintly heard Curtis mutter as he stared, his girth ever throbbing in his fist, mirroring the rest of them, “maybe you should just make her cockwarm you for the rest of the day, just as a precaution to make it easier for you next time.”
“Oh, you’re right, she might need that princess treatment,” Steve murmured as he raised the back of your palm up to his lips for a brief peck, “you’d let him do that, wouldn’t you, sis? For me? Be good for my best friend?”
“Uh-huh,” you found yourself panting as their words flew straight over your dazed head as it jostled on the mattress each time Bucky’s hips snapped against your ass, your zealous slickness being so messy at this point that it clung to his skin as well and kept you both connected in glossy strings, like spiderwebs, each time his efforts retreated.
“Shit,” Marc groaned as his fingers, tightly wrapped around his own dick, began to speed up, “this is so hot… I think I might blow my load.”
“Me too, fuck,” Scott harmonized.
“Cum in her mouth,” Bucky uttered, “go on, be a good girl, open up for them,” before you then felt your stepbrother beside you pry your lips apart mid-moan.
And as the pair stepped up and, one by one, painted your breathless tongue with their essence, you heard Lloyd rumble firmly, “you better swallow every single drop they give you, sweetheart.”
“Yeah, doesn’t it taste good what you do to them, to all of us?” Billy purred before he let a dollop of spit drop from his lips into his palm as he paused momentarily before silkily stroking his length one more to you.
“Maybe if you beg real pretty, it could become your dessert after every one of your meals,” Miguel suggested with a smirk, “but only if you’re good, then maybe you can have the privilege of being our little cumdump.”
“Is that what you want?” Andy uttered huskily, his fevered efforts stealing some of his breath, “you wanna be Kappa Alpha Nu’s official little toy? Just be all fucking adorable and help us get off?”
But then Bucky let out a low chuckle as he shifted your feet to rest up upon his broad shoulders, “you’re saying that like she isn’t already…” he grinned proudly before sinking down closer and folding your body in half.
Your free hand clawed at his bicep as both of them flexed to keep him from crushing you as he tilted down to kiss you ravenously. His rhythm picked up till it reached a desperate pace, pumping his fat cock into you as he groaned against your lips. Though even after you felt his big dick twitch inside of you and pump your pussy full of his cum, his efforts didn’t cease, only degraded slightly as he shivered above you, stubbornly fucking you till you unravelled as well.
With a ragged moan, he finally withdrew from your haven and reached down to messily rub his touch against your poor pussy, all swollen and puffy as it squirted once again for him, your juices weakly gushing all over the bed as his load too trickled out.
It was all a blur after that.
At first, as you still laid there, panting and twitching at Bucky’s overstimulating touch that he hadn’t yet freed you from, the three frat guys who were looming right beside you, Thor, Curtis and Andy, decorated your heaving tits and stomach with their hot cum.
After that, one by one, Miguel, Billy, Frank, Ransom, Lloyd and Ari stepped up and came wherever their heart desired. Some chose your exhausted face, all cute and breathless, blinking up at them, while others elected to finish on the soft peaks of your boobs, making you flash them your soft tongue, or even just paint your puffy pussy white and add to the mess already sticky and sore between your limp thighs.
And lastly, having clearly edged in order to grant himself the honour, your stepbrother let go of your shaky hand and slotted himself in between your legs. Wasting no time teasing you, he plugged the very tip of him into your wrecked hole, making your whole frame briefly jump and quiver on the mattress before your soreness clenched around him and milked him dry as he swiftly emptied his balls inside of you.
“Well, I think it’s official,” Steve exhaled when he finally pulled his dick back out to admire his cum slowly leaking out of you, “she is finally ready and broken in enough for us to start having some real fun…” his eyes then briefly flickered around to his friends beside him as he uttered, “gentlemen?” before his gaze once again returned to you, “let’s begin.”

© 2025 thyme-in-a-bubble
#lea’s writing#take her under your wing au#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x reader#steve rogers smut#steve rogers x reader#bucky barnes au#stucky x reader smut#stucky smut#ari levinson smut#marc spector smut#miguel o'hara smut#billy russo smut#ransom drysdale smut#frank castle smut#curtis everett smut#lloyd hansen smut#andy barber smut#thor odinson smut#scott lang smut
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staring problem
pairing: avenger! bucky barnes x physical therapist! reader summary: you’ve been working with sam, joaquin, and bucky for the past few months, and you couldn’t help but notice how bucky just… stares. (based off of dialogue from the falcon and the winter soldier: “does he always just stare like that?” “you get used to it.” and “you’re doing the staring thing again.” + more)
a/n: hello and welcome to my first one shot! i saw captain america: brave new world last week and it was tremendous! i went back and watched the falcon and the winter soldier and it inspired me to write this fic. i've been pretty excited to share this, so i hope you enjoy! likes and reblogs are always appreciated forehead kiss
comments/tags: ca:bnw (spoilers!), fluff, bucky barnes is a 106 year old grumpy ass, bucky has a staring problem (quite severely), physical therapist/trainer f! reader, sam wilson, joaquin torres, bucky doesn’t hate joaquin here but he has a youthful energy that old man barnes finds mildly exhausting (sometimes), there’s technically a girthy age gap between bucky and reader (probably 60-80 years) but bucky can’t help that so we will collectively ignore it, strangers-to-lovers except bucky is just Confused, no y/n use
cw: mentions of alcohol (drinking, reader getting drunk), sebastian stan’s intense glare (swoon), kissing, language (bucky has a potty mouth)
wc: 3.9k | masterlist | ao3 ────୨ৎ────
In his 106 or so years, you were the first person who Bucky Barnes met that genuinely perplexed him. And he couldn’t exactly put his finger on why.
During his over-extended life, he prided himself on his ability to read people and understand their intentions almost immediately. Maybe he’s a cynic, but he finds it to be much easier to organize the recurring figures of his life into different areas of his mind. Of course, there’s the rare individual that Bucky genuinely likes, such as Sam. And with others he tolerates, like Joaquín. But you? He wasn’t exactly sure how he felt. And if Bucky was being honest with himself, it scares him.
Considering he already knows almost everything about you, it’s almost frustrating how little Bucky truly knows you. Sure, Joaquín sat you all down as a group to discuss their new physical therapist. Similar to Joaquín in age, graduated from college not too long ago,, has significant experience with working with service men. You’ve been working with them for nearly six months already, and Bucky has yet to properly assess where you sit in his brain.
Whenever you entered the room -- any room, you had a certain energy. Maybe it’s the way you carry yourself, but you seem to have this natural ability to alter the space around you in some way. Your teeth and eyes seemed to sparkle, the way they open up so wide to greet him and the others at the beginning of each training session.
“Does he always just stare like that?” you inquire quietly, leaning over to Sam as you create a hamstring out of a roll of kinesiology tape. You subtly nudge your arm in the general direction where Bucky stood next to the weight rack.
Sam chuckles, “You get used to it.” You shrug in response, putting your head down and continuing to wrap the tape around his calf. “He might be a bionic staring machine, but he’s been through a lot. It’s just how he is, I wouldn’t take it personally,” he smiles down at you. Making a quick glance in his direction, Bucky continues to stare pointedly, brows furrowed and jaw clenched. Intimidating. You suppose any regular person would be skeeved out under such intense pressure, but it makes you rather demure. Even though you’re looking in his direction, he continues to look at you with his intense eyes. You’d think that most people would stop after being noticed, especially since you’ve caught him staring at you more than twice, but he continues with his piercing gaze anyways.
Since Sam had decided to rebuild the Avengers, you had been brought in as their physical therapist. If you were honest, you weren’t exactly sure why superheroes of all people needed physical therapy, with what cutting edge technology and medicine they have at their disposal, but it pays well and you can’t complain about that in this economy.. Since starting, you’ve already become relatively close with Sam and Joaquín. But Bucky…
…Well, judging by the way he’s practically staring through you, you’d be safe in assuming that he hates you or something. You’ve not really had a chance to have a full fledged conversation with him. You helped him stretch, applied kinesio tape when asked. Within your first few days here, you surmised that he was just a private person. But, you’ve seen the quick smiles he flashed at Sam and the occasional short conversation with Joaquín. You normally don’t take these things too personally, but the people pleaser side of you tends to rear its ugly head. Aside from that, there was something about Bucky that made you want him to like you at least a little bit. You’ve tried your best to be friendly to him during your brief interactions, but he didn’t seem to have much of an interest in conversing with you past exchanging pleasantries. Even though it hurts a little, it’s just how some of these jobs go, after all, you can’t expect to be friends with all your clients. But his nearly constant staring at you is… menacing.
“I just don’t think he’s taken to me that well,” you breathe, finishing the wrap on his quad and cutting away the excess tape with scissors. “He doesn’t seem to like talking to me… or like me, at all.”
“It’s not you,” Sam reassures gently. “Give him some time to open up.”
--
“Y’know, you probably scare her with how much you stare at her like that.”
Bucky re-racked the weights with much more force than he wanted, causing the weights to make a heavy clunk sound against the metal, making her and Sam’s heads snap over in their direction. Shit.
Bucky looks at Joaquín and frowns. “Don’t sneak up on me like that. And I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Dude, you have something of a staring problem,” says Joaquín. “Do you know that? It’s important to us that you know that. You have zero tact.”
Bucky grumbles under his breath in response, turning back to the weight rack to select a heavier dumbbell. “At least say something to her when we go out later? You can tell it bothers her,” Joaquín offers with a smile. Bucky steps back from the rack, preparing for his next set. “Stay out of my business, Torres.”
“This seems like a very unnatural problem for someone like you to have. Maybe we should call Wakanda, tell them that our cyborg puppet has stopped working and is in urgent need of recalibration.”
“Fuck off.”
--
The bar is loud. Far too loud for Bucky’s taste as he enters the establishment with Sam. Had it been up to him, he would have picked his usual quiet spot near his apartment. But, it is her six month anniversary of working with the guys, and Bucky wasn’t going to miss a chance to drink for free on Sam’s tab. Bucky stuffs his hands deeper into the pockets of his leather jacket, scanning the many faces around the room. Keep an eye out for any potential threats…
“Well?” Sam asks, turning to Bucky and breaking him out of his concentration. Bucky’s jaw tightens, “Don’t you and Torres know better than to be in my business?” he says, crabbily. Sam shrugs his shoulders, hands out in defense. “Hey! I just want you to be happy, man. Just think about what Torres said, maybe?” He steps back from Bucky with a smile, clapping his hand against Bucky’s shoulder before approaching Joaquín at the bar. And there you are, sitting next to Joaquín, shining like the stars and moon… yet unsteady. Your warm expression grows upon seeing Sam, pulling him into a tight hug. What the hell, sure, Bucky ponders briefly before stalking up to the only open space in the bar and ordering a beer.
“Sam!” you answer excitedly, throwing your arms around him in a warm hug. He reciprocates in kind, saying a quick greeting during the embrace. “Wo-oah there!” Sam teases, “Has Joaquín here been filling you up with drinks here?” He gestures to the glassware that you and Joaquín collected, lightly crowding the bar surface.
“Hey, look, it’s a cheat night for all of us, and more importantly, her six month work anniversary!” Joaquín reminds Sam with a laugh. “Yes, tonight is all about me, guys,” you tease, smiling lazily at them. You generally don’t make it a habit to engage with clients outside of the gym, but Sam and Joaquín had truly welcomed you to the team with open arms these last few months. It was truly kind of Sam to pick up the tab tonight, and you’d feel rude refusing.
You settle back into your barstool as Sam and Joaquín begin a conversation. You scan the many faces around the U-shaped bar until you notice Bucky standing there, waiting on his drink. He’s of average height, about six feet tall or so, yet he stands out among the others around him. He wears his infamous scowl as he toys with his leather gloves. You took care in noticing how the light of the bar catches his upper cheek bone and the top of his jawline by his ear. His brooding blue eyes as they scan the area round him. So intimidating… yet..
He glances up at you quickly, incidentally locking eyes with you across the bar. Your eyes grow wide, feeling smaller than you’ve ever felt before. It’s almost eerie the way he studies you, as if he is trying to memorize every atom and particle of your facial structure. You almost freeze under his watch, sobering up a little as you sit up straighter. Properly. You cast out your usual friendly gestures, an invitation -- a small smile and a shy wave of your finger tips. Maybe it’s your alcohol-muddled brain playing tricks on you, but you could’ve sworn that the corner of his lips turned ever so slightly upwards.
It felt like time stopped when Bucky noticed you. The small wisps of your hair caught by the lowlights above the bar, reaching to the bow of the lips that once held a grin. Your wide eyes holding a sparkle of light. How he can see the way your skin flushes due to your alcohol consumption. Bucky finds it adorable the way you lightly smile at him, waving your hand gently. He sees the way you’re a bit wobbly, having to lean against the bar to keep things steady. He couldn’t help but be amused. His attention is torn away by the bartender setting down the beer bottle in front of him. Bucky fishes for cash in his pocket, setting it in the man’s hand and finally approaching the group.
He stuffs his beer-less hand deep into his jacket pocket as he stops next to Sam. He claps his hand on Bucky’s shoulder in greeting, Bucky acknowledges him with a slight nod of his head. “Bucky!” Sam exclaims, gesturing to the group. “Welcome. We were wondering when you’d show up!” Bucky looks at him with a tired expression. “Lost track of time at the gym,” he mumbles. “Likely story,” Joaquín laughs, before being cut short by Bucky nudging him sharply with his flesh elbow, using a bit more force than necessary.
--
Minutes pass. Then an hour. Two hours. Rounds of drinks later, you all lapse into steady conversation telling lively stories of the past, previous jobs, missions, interactions with other superheroes. You and Joaquín chortle together loudly at Sam’s seemingly endless stream of stories and jokes, while Bucky resigns himself to polite nods as he sips on his beer. The initial lively crowd of the bar had died down to the regular crowd, who’d delegated themselves to chatting amongst themselves, playing darts and shooting pool.
Several vodka cranberries in, your face and hands feel oddly numb, and the room spins more than usual. Shame on you for thinking you can match Joaquín drink for drink. Sam and Joaquín throw back the last of their drinks before heading off to the pool tables. Bucky stares off at them as they apply blue chalk to the tips of their cue sticks, ready to begin a match.
Turning towards Bucky, you prop yourself up against the bar, cheek in hand. You attempt to mock the way he stares at you, to make him feel how you’ve felt all these months.
“So,” you hiccup, interrupting yourself with a shy giggle. “What’s your deal?” You mockingly raise an eyebrow. “What’s your damage, Bucky? What is it about me you don’t like?” It slips out so easily. You should be embarrassed, but you’re far too gone.
Bucky sits up straight, giving you an unsure glance. That’s new. “I’m not sure what you--.”
“And you’re doing that staring thing again, that thing you do with me,” you comment, words slurring slightly as you gesturing unsteadily in Sam and Joaquín’s direction. “When you look at me like that, I can’t tell if ‘ya like or hate me!”
“Y’know, maybe I’m a people pleaser or sumthin’, but I-I really want you to like me, I think,” you sigh. Shrugging comically, you throw back the rest of your drink sitting on the bar. Leaning over, you clap your hand over his large gloved one. Bucky freezes, suddenly being hyper aware of what you’re doing and how small your hand feels compared to his. “And y’know what else? I don’t even mind when you stare at me like that. It’s almost as hot as it is intimidating.”
Bucky was warm -- not from the alcohol. He knows he can’t really get drunk anymore due to the serum, but he still feels the sweat from his palms against the smooth leather interior of his padded globes. And again, he states. Wide eyed at the flushness that cascaded down her cheeks to her collar bones. She fully lost herself in a fit of uncontrollable giggles, leaning against the bar again, not even knowing what you’re doing to him.
He wants to look everywhere all at once, eyes darting. Your bright, round lips stained with cranberry juice and the remnants of your lip gloss. The small beads of sweat by your temples and the crown of your hair. Your smooth thighs, sparkling in certain spots from the cold of your glass. Bucky was truly rendered speechless. Not that he usually speaks much. Not that he was able to get much of a word in with you beforehand. But this time, he feels truly stumped. So, naturally, he did what any former brainwashed assassin turned semi-normal guy would do. With every ounce of charisma and bravado that a man like him could gather, he took one last look at her and drank the last bit of his beer. “Excuse me,” he said with a voice he was unfamiliar with, and turned around to walk out of the bar. And kept walking. All the way home.
--
Sleep is elusive to Bucky, who had spent the previous night drifting in and out of light sleep. He usually takes this as a sign to get an early start of the day, maybe go for a long run or walk outside.
He rises, making his way to the bathroom.. Squeezing out toothpaste, Bucky couldn’t help but reflect upon the event of the previous night. The sound of your gleeful, drunken laugh. How the warmth radiated off of your body. He can just barely recall the ghostly weight of your hand on the back of his. Even through his thick gloves, you may as well have burned him.
As Bucky splashes water on his face, he concludes that maybe a run wasn’t what he needed. The subway station was right outside of the bar on East Houston Street, yet he elected to walk two hours back home to his apartment in Brooklyn instead. He’d hoped that walking over the Manhattan Bridge in the middle of the night would turn out to be somewhat therapeutic, yet he was still unable to shake the memory of you at the bar.
Letting out a deep breath, he takes a moment to sit on the couch and put his boots on. Standing, he shrugs on his leather jacket and reaches for the gloves in his pocket. Gloves you touched, he recalls, feeling uncharacteristically giddy about it. Heading out the door, he hopes that this early morning workout will help him clear his head.
--
It is far too early to wake up today, especially after having a night out like that. You awake with a raging headache, an unsettled stomach, and an aggressive thought of what the fuck did you do. As you lie there, gazing at your slowly spinning ceiling fan, you start to feel each and every one of the drinks. Groaning, you sit up, clutching your stomach in an attempt to settle yourself and you are quickly reminded of the conversation you had with Bucky. At that, you shoot up far quicker than you should, running to the toilet to rid yourself of the contents of your stomach and regrets from last night. Sigh.
You couldn’t believe that you had said that, feeling waves of embarrassment. You normally wouldn’t push yourself that far with the drinks, much less with the boundaries of a client. Grimacing, you reach up to the counter, feeling for a towel to wipe your face of sweat and residual make-up. Turning on the faucet, you cup water into your hands to drink and splash your face with cold water. Approaching your closet, you preemptively mourn one of the best jobs you’ve ever had. Every fiber of your being begs you to return to bed and wallow in self pity, but you think it’s best that you get to the gym early for a quick workout. Sweat out the hangover, you think bitterly. Your head lightly pounds when you make a sudden movement. Bringing your hand to your forehead, you realize this is going to be one long day.
Entering the compound, you hear the sound of a treadmill running and rhythmic steps in accompaniment. It would be good to see Sam or Joaquín, figuring that one of them decided to work off the alcohol consumed last night. But since you are, evidently, not God’s favorite, running on the treadmill is someone you’d rather avoid right now. And there’s Bucky Barnes, shirtless and sweating as he jogs on the machine. Your eyes follow his dog tags dangling from his neck, bouncing rhythmically against his skin. He heaves gently, hair flopping with each step.
Even though you stopped in your tracks, he had already felt your presence and began slowing down. Bucky steps off the treadmill, collecting his water and patting his forehead with a small towel he brought. You figure it’s best to just talk and not dance around the topic. He didn’t seem like the type to beat around the bush. You breathe shakily before approaching him.
“Hi, Bucky,” you say, tone laced with nerves.. “Look, about last night—”
“Hey, it’s fine.” he interjects accidentally, cutting you off. He raises a gentle hand of reassurance. “You don’t need to apologize for anything.”
Your shoulders relax a bit, knowing that there was maybe a small chance that he wouldn’t tell Sam or Joaquín about your interaction. “Thank you, it’s just that I rarely go out with clients like that, nor do I drink that heavily.” You shift lightly on your feet, fumbling with your water bottle. “I didn’t mean to be unprofessional or cross any boundaries. I just hope that we could maybe move past this, pretend like it didn’t happen?” Smiling, you look up at the taller man, eyes filled with hope. He himself shifts on his feet, “Oh, I didn’t realize we were just clients to you.” You look down with embarrassment, searching for a response. “Uh, I didn’t mean any offense—”
“I’m just teasin’, sweetheart,” the nickname rolling smoothly off his tongue with a smile. A smile. “Did you really mean what you said, though? About me staring?” Drunk words are sober thoughts, he recalls to himself, having learned the phrase from Torres. You flush, suddenly taking interest in the top of your water bottle rather than the man in front of you. Him speaking with you, much less jokingly is more than foreign territory for you. “I-I mean,” you sputter out, self consciousness taking charge. “I wouldn’t mind being friends with you, of course, I try my best to be friendly with the people I work with.” He takes a step closer. “Now, you and I both know that that’s not the part we are talking about.” Your breath hitches. You take in how you feel crowded by him. He’s not exactly within your personal space. Yet.
“Really, I’m the one that should be apologizing.” Bucky says, loosening up. With a sigh, he starts: “I’m sorry to have kept you at arms length all this time. It’s rather difficult for ‘someone like me,’” he dramatically emphasizes with air quotes, “to ‘nurture friendships.’” So says my therapist, he thinks with an internal eye roll. “What’s wrong with me isn’t your fault. I’m just old and cynical.” He pats the outside of your arm in reassurance. You smile, feeling the spot grow warm under his touch. “For the record, I don’t exactly mind that you called me hot, either,” he casually notes. “It’s certainly better than the other reactions I tend to get.” You didn’t think it was possible to blush harder, feeling the warmth creep down your chest. Fuck, you were hoping he wouldn’t mention that part specifically, but you can roll with it. “Well, I do pride myself on being honest, I guess,” you chuckle nervously trying to play it off as cool.
“Y’know, since I had met you, I had been so confused on what to think of you. In all my life, I had never met anyone that was able to do that to me.” His voice darkens. “Care to clue me in as to why?” You feel stuck again, just how you felt last night when he was staring you down at the bar. You attempt to nervously mutter out a response, which instead leaves your mouth gaping open. He closes in on your space, you can feel his body heat radiating off of him. He glances down at your curved lips, light pink and glistening, then back into your doe eyes. “Please, sweetheart, it drives me crazy when you look at me like that,” he uses the nickname again, making your mind spin and your knees a bit weak. “You have no idea what you do to me, do you?”
His eyes drop to your lips again as you stand there, stupefied. His eyes drift downwards to your lips and you almost feel like crumbling under the sudden pressure. He closes in again, sneaking his hands around your waist to pull you in closer. You’re both suspended in silence for a beat, and you think your heart would stop until he continues. “I don’t mean to make things weird, but maybe I like the way you fluster when I look at you. I’ve been alive for a long, long time, and you’re the first person I’ve met that’s made me feel this way.”
Before you were aware of his movements, he closed the distance. Your eyes flutter shut as you take in the softness of Bucky’s lips, moving slowly and calculating over your own. His grip tightens on your waist, and you feel how the tips of his fingers press into your skin, making your mind go white. You press your body closer to him, breathing heavily as you press your lips against his. He pulls away when he feels your knees buckle gently, chuckling. “Careful, doll. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.” You shake your head in an effort to come to and give him a response. “N-no, It’s fine, you didn’t make me feel uncomfortable.”
“Good,” he replies, voice darkening. He laughs again, causing you to giggle with him and lean in again.
“You do have a staring problem, though,” Sam chides through the speaker of Red Wing. Thecombat drone floats into your line of sight, hovering menacingly over Bucky’s shoulder. You jump back away from Bucky as if you were burned, feeling embarrassed. Bucky sighs exasperatedly, leaning against the treadmill and shaking his head. “By the way, thanks for finally taking our advice! I have all of that on camera, you know that, right?”
Bucky rolls his eyes with a huff. “Get out of my face, Sam, or I’ll break it.”
#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes x reader#the falcon and the winter soldier#tfatws#captain america brave new world#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#mcu fic#bucky barnes / you#bucky barnes / reader#bucky barnes x you#the winter soldier#tfatws fic#cabnw spoilers#joaquin torres#sam wilson#bucky x reader#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes fanfiction
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SINCE YOU'VE BEEN LIKE THIS ♡
pairing: light yagami x fem!reader x l lawliet
summary: you and light have been a pair for as long as you can remember, but lately he's been pulling away. in your time of uncertainty, you end up getting close to l, maybe a little too close. now light's back to normal though, and you're left to figure out how you want to fix the mess you've made.
cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, double penetration, fingering, handjob, threesome, voyeurism/exhibitionism, praise/degradation, infidelity, messy behavior in general, light angst here and there
wc: 19.6k
a/n: finally it is here <3 sorry for the delay, it has been a rough couple weeks. reblogs, comments, and asks are always appreciated <3 also i just have to put out there that my main in mario kart is waluigi till the day i perish 🙏
kinktober slot: day 27 - double penetration
"Light, can you slow down a little? Or at least tell me where we're going?" you called out to your boyfriend walking three paces ahead of you. Three paces he seemed hellbent on keeping between you and him.
He didn't answer your plea. Didn't even spare you a glance. On the contrary, you were pretty sure he sped up ever so slightly.
With a petulant huff, you tried to follow him along the crowded street as best you could. It was just difficult when you didn't really know why you were here or what you were supposed to be looking for. He never kept you well-informed when it came to his plans. Most of the time, you were shocked he even let you tag along at all.
His eyes constantly darted around between groups of people lining the path in the most subtle way. His head didn't move at all, but his pupils bounced around in every direction. Yours remained on his figure. At first, you'd tried glancing around too, but you couldn't figure out for the life of you who or what he was trying to find. You decided to just focus on not getting lost instead.
Bounding up closer to him, your fingers brushed his own. His hands had always been so smooth and soft. No calluses, no blemishes. No mileage at all. You went to intertwine your fingers together. That was when he finally acknowledged you.
He pulled his hand away.
You frowned, choosing to believe it was accidental. That your boyfriend wouldn't reject you so purposefully. You tried again with more intention, clasping with your whole palm rather than hooking pinkies.
His response matched your increased effort. He bent his arm at the elbow and pulled his hand out of your reach, fully removing the opportunity for physical contact. Then, he scowled at you, and his lips curled into that sneer you were becoming more familiar with these days.
"What are you doing? We're here to work," he said, talking to you the same way he talks to anyone else who inconveniences him, "This isn't a date. Try to focus."
"Light, I-" you went to defend yourself. But he cut you off before you got the chance.
"If you're not interested in helping, then stay out of my way," he directed before turning away.
Your lips closed up again, any words wilting away in your throat like a bouquet of old roses. You swallowed the petals down hard. You couldn't get emotional, let alone cry. If you did that, your lover would never let you hear the end of his disappointment.
Your lover. You didn't even know if it was accurate to call him that anymore. More like you were the lover, and he was your beloved. Your Light.
The two of you had been together in a way for as long as you could remember. Friends as children, crushes in your teens, and now as adults, officially boyfriend and girlfriend. You'd wanted this for so long - to say he belonged to you, that you were the ones who owned each other's hearts. But now that you had that, it didn't feel how you imagined it would.
You looked down as you traversed through the crowd.
The relationship between you and Light didn't feel like a fairy tale. It didn't resemble the romantic movies he used to tease you for liking. You could never imagine him kissing you in the rain or singing some love song or whatever else the guys in those movies did to win back the girls after hurting them.
When Light hurt you, either by brushing you off or saying words cold enough to freeze your pumping heart, he barely even said sorry. He'd give you the look, mutter a "I didn't mean it like that," and if you were lucky, half-hug you and kiss the crown of your head.
He hadn't always been so uncaring. A cloud had cast over him at some point during your teenage years, worse than any usual case of angst. His mental storm seemed to block out any rays of sunlight permanently. In recent months, it had gotten worse. Ever since the start of this investigation.
The two of you were supposed to be entering the primes of your lives. Enrolled in university, beginning everything together. But he just grew darker by the day, and you didn't know how to stop it. You could feel him dissolving into ash between your fingers. Slipping away while you desperately tried to hold onto whatever you could.
Barbs started to form in your throat and clearing it didn't help any. Reflecting on your crumbling relationship always reduced you to a state of silence or tears.
You counted the cracks in the street as you walked. It didn't matter to you if you lagged behind and got separated from Light at this point. He made it clear you weren't needed nor wanted. Getting lost wouldn't really mean anything. You could just make your way back to the task force earlier than you'd anticipated. He probably wouldn't even notice your absence.
A few steps ahead, you bumped into his back, earning another glare. He seemed to have come to a dead end in his search. Groaning in frustration, his eyes landed upon you, even harsher than before.
"Don't just stare at me!" he snapped, "Call back to the task force. Let them know we'll be returning soon."
The words struck you as if they were physical arrows. You turned away and pulled out your phone, flipping it open and dialing the number. The tone rang over the painful silence between you two. You tried to choke down any scratchiness your emotions could cause in your voice before someone answered the phone.
Suddenly, a calm voice echoed into your ear.
"Yes?"
L.
"Hi... me and Light will be back soon," you said. The less words you used, the less likely you were to crack.
There was a pause. You wondered if he could tell if something was wrong. You almost hoped that was the case.
"Alright. I take it you two didn't see our target?" he asked.
"No," you answered in the same quiet voice, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I didn't expect the two of you would be successful," he said. His voice was soft, like he truly didn't mind. The exact opposite of your boyfriend's. "We'll talk when the both of you return to the hotel."
He hung up first, and you flipped your phone shut seconds after. Turning to face Light, you found him already staring at you.
"He says he'll talk to us when we come back," you informed him.
All you got in response was a nod. He brushed past you in the direction of the hotel everyone was at for the day. Following along behind him, you didn't say anything. You folded your arms over your chest, not in defiance or anger. It felt defensive.
As you trailed him, the thoughts swirling through your mind consumed most of your attention. Why did you even continue doing this? You were just as much a member of the task force as Light, but he treated you like you were a secretary at best.
In the past, your father had worked with Mr. Yagami as a detective. You'd grown up in the world of suspects and investigations, taught to solve puzzles since you were old enough to keep yourself upright on your dad's lap at his desk.
L himself had approved you to work on the Kira investigation independent of that fact. He saw that you could keep up. But still, it felt like everyone treated you as Light's sidekick. You were cute! Smart for a girl. So sweet to dedicate all this time to helping your boyfriend.
By the time you reached the elevator, you were talking yourself up to quitting. You wanted to catch Kira. You believed in this job. But maybe if you cut your losses now, you could still salvage a relationship with Light. Or at least your perception of him. You wouldn't come to resent him if he wasn't yelling at you day in and day out.
You stayed behind him as the two of you walked down the hallway to the room. The lamps lining the walls flickered, making the already dim lighting worse. Your eyes stayed down on your shoes through the entryway and into the room. Light briefly caught up his dad on the day's events, and then you heard that same voice that talked to you over the phone.
You looked up. And suddenly, quitting didn't seem like such a perfect plan.
The syllables of your name rolled off his tongue like smooth billows of smoke. Something fluttered in your belly that you hadn't felt in a while. You used to feel it for Light until every time he spoke your name, it came out with disdain.
L talked, but you only half-registered the words. He was more focused on the points your boyfriend was firing at him anyway. You watched how his dark eyes focused as he absorbed everything about the conversation happening between them.
Your own gaze on him held nothing but admiration. You felt things about L that you wouldn't be able to articulate if asked. At first, you had the same reaction to him that everyone did. You thought he was strange. From the way he sat to his eating habits, you didn't understand him. But over the course of the investigation, you dedicated yourself to trying.
In a way, you looked to him as an aspiration. The pinnacle in the field of investigation. Quite possibly the smartest man in the world (though you'd bet Light would roll his eyes if he heard you say that out loud).
As you watched him now, his crooked posture and jaw rotating while he chewed on some saccharine treat, you began to mentally revise some of your earlier thoughts.
He was the only one who didn't view you as an extension of Light. When you were working with him, you weren't the feminine version of someone else. You were just you.
The only time you believed you deserved to be here just as much as Light was when you were sitting near L. You'd propose an idea or question something, and the way he would look at you made you feel like you weren't just a little kid everyone allowed to play dress up among adults. He'd give you a simple praise. "Nice work," or "Could be. Interesting." And you'd beam like you'd been given a trophy.
Right now though, even his proximity didn't help to brighten your mood. The clouds from your boyfriend snapping at you hadn't cleared just yet.
The conversation occurring in front of you came to a close. Light gave a quick goodbye and then turned to head out after his father. He clearly expected you to follow, but before you could, something else drew your focus. L, saying your name again.
"If you could, may I ask you to stay for a few moments?" he said, expression unchanging.
"What do you need to talk to her for?" Light interjected before you had the chance to answer.
Your head swiveled between the two of them. On one side was L, calm and unbothered by the clipped nature of your boyfriend's voice. On the other was the latter, his mouth twitching with the urge to scowl.
If you didn't know Light as well as you do, you might have thought this was a bout of jealousy. With the current state of things between you two, that might have even made you happy. A sign that he was still invested in you. But you did know him, so you knew that if anything, he was jealous of the fact that L had deemed information suitable for only you.
"It's nothing serious. Just a few questions about some files she brought to my attention last week," L further explained.
You stood there unmoving, as if you needed Light's permission to talk to your teammate. Looking back at him, you waited for some sign of approval.
He glanced at you and then back at the man behind you before shrugging.
"Fine. I'll see you later," he told you, barely saying goodbye as he exited.
The rest of the task force had also cleared the room for the day, leaving you and L in the cool hotel room alone. Your eyes glanced around to distract your mind from the awkwardness of the situation. The tacky pink wallpaper plastered all around you felt like it was closing in at the moment. The only sound between the four walls was the hum of the air conditioner. That was until he waved you over to the sitting area.
"Come here for a second. I wanted to talk to you." His voice sounded as though he didn't feel any of the tension you did.
You followed him as you had followed Light earlier, quiet and lagging behind a few steps. You took a seat on the ivory loveseat against the wall. He slid around the table. You expected him to sit in the chair at the end of the coffee table like he usually did, but instead, he landed next to you on the chiffon cushions. Your heart skipped a beat. You wondered if he was about to give you some sort of bad news. Maybe you'd made a mistake in your work. Maybe you were now a suspect too.
Regardless of what it was, he bent his legs up so his feet rested on the material. His normal crouching position put you at ease.
"Is something wrong?" he asked.
You blinked at the question. "Um... no?" you said.
He hummed in acknowledgement. His process of studying one's features was slightly less endearing when you were the target.
"You seem upset. Are you sure you're alright?" he tried again.
"Yeah," you nodded. Your eyes cast down to your lap. "I'm ok, really. I'm sorry if I seem a little off. Just not a great day, I guess."
"Did something happen earlier when you were out?" he said, seeing right through the excuses.
You looked up again, bringing him back into your field of vision. "Not really..." you opted for, though you knew you sounded unconvincing.
"Nothing out of the ordinary?"
"Definitely not out of the ordinary," you sighed before you could stop yourself. Realizing you probably shouldn't have said that, you sunk back against the stiff backing of the sofa.
"What does that mean?" he asked from beside you.
You weren't totally sure why he was going down this line of questioning, but you answered anyway. L had never given you a reason not to trust him.
"It's just stupid stuff. Between me and Light. Nothing you'd want me to bother you with," you shrugged.
"Try me," he said.
You looked at him tentatively.
"Both of you are key members on this task force," he continued, "If something is affecting your ability to work with other members of this team, then I think it's in my best interest to know about it."
A moment of further hesitation passed before you sighed. Your hand rose to your eyes, stretching your fingers over your brow and rubbing at your frustration.
"He just doesn't seem like himself lately," you said, "Or he does, I guess. But he just... he's different with me."
You found your legs pulling closer to your body and your feet perching at the edge of your seat too. Maybe sitting like this did help you think.
"Distant?" L asked from his side of the furniture.
"Sort of... it's like he wants to be distant, but we work together so he can't be. I don't know," you said. You cut yourself short because you could feel your throat beginning to tighten, and you refused to let yourself cry in front of your teammate whose respect you so badly crave.
"Well. The stress of this whole case is probably weighing on Light, especially with him being a suspect..." he said, trailing off in the way he tended to do.
"I guess. It just feels like he can't even stand the sight of me anymore," you said. Your voice cracked the tiniest bit, but you knew he heard it. A shaky breath left you, and you tilted your head back, as if gravity could keep your tears at bay. "Not that long after we started dating, things just got different between us. It's just... disappointing."
The man beside you nodded as if trying to contemplate what to say next. "Have you talked to him about this?"
"Light doesn't do talks like this," you said, barely louder than a whisper.
Another plume of silence rose between the two of you. You swallowed hard, neck still against the back of the couch. Vaguely, you felt the pressure of the seats shifting, the weight on it redistributing.
You took your hand away from your brow and turned your head to find L much closer. His wide eyes stared at you from less than a foot away.
"Someone who cares about you shouldn't be making you so upset," he mused.
To stop your lip from wobbling, you held it between your teeth for a moment. Even though nothing audible came from you, a small drop of water rolled from the outer corner of your eye. Without missing a beat, his thumb came up to wipe it away. If you weren't yearning for someone to care about how you felt, maybe you would have been confused by it. But right then, it felt good.
"He's just so mean now. He was always sharp before but now... he looks at me like he hates me," you whispered.
He seemed to be the one hesitating now. His eyes rested on your features.
"You're an intelligent girl. Light is smart too, of course, but he has no right to order you around or insult you," he said, "I hope you don't feel like you have to put up with that because you work together."
The others had noticed it too then. You hadn't given any specific instances of how he treated you, but he still knew.
"I know I don't have to. I just... I don't know how to be without him," you said, feeling pathetic. You shouldn't need this guy you've only known for such a short amount of time to tell you this stuff. But as he spoke to you with such tenderness, you found yourself wishing he did it more often.
"You know you're a pretty girl. You're sweet and thoughtful. I'm sure there's a lot of people who would feel lucky if you gave them the time of day," he said. The words came out slow, as though he was traversing a field of landmines. "I'm only saying that because staying with someone out of obligation rarely pans out."
You simply nodded in response. What he was saying was the truth. Part of you already knew it. The other part just didn't want to quit yet. It was as if Light was another puzzle, and if you could just put the pieces together right, the picture would form in the end. But the part of you that had already been thinking what you just heard, that was the part that wanted to squirm when you heard the words pretty girl fall from L's lips.
"I know it's not really my place to comment on your relationship," he continued as though he could read your mind, "I just don't want to see you quit this. You're a valuable member of this task force. I would hate to see you run off by petty drama."
You nodded, his words steeling your resolve. "I won't quit this," you confirmed. You wouldn't let Light ruin this for you, but more than that, L wanted you here. And you wanted to be here with him.
"Good," he said while staring back at you. He leaned away from your body and brought his legs down to the floor like he was about to stand. "I don't have anything else to discuss with you. The files thing was just an excuse for Light. You're free to-"
And before you knew what you were really doing, you pushed yourself across the loveseat and crashed your lips against his. To your shock and relief, he didn't push you away. You heard a muffled noise burst out against your mouth, but then you felt him sink into it too. His hand cupped your cheek, and he reciprocated.
A breath you'd been holding since joining this case seeped from your lungs. His lips were so soft, his palm just as delicate. You scooted a little closer to him, feeling the rigidness of his side against your leg. You couldn't remember the last time Light had kissed you like this.
And as that thought crossed your mind, guilt washed over you in a tidal wave.
You pulled back, eyes heavy with the weight of your actions and lips parted so hot puffs of air could flow in and out.
"I'm sorry," you said immediately, "I shouldn't have done that."
He stared back at you, completely motionless for the moment. You started to get up, but he reached out and grabbed your forearm, stopping you.
"Don't be sorry," was all he said at first.
The both of you were trapped here together, locked in the haze of feelings and morals clashing. You wanted to go back in so badly. You wanted to taste him, to feel every detail of his mouth long enough to commit to memory. By the way he was keeping you here, it seemed that he too had some of the same desires.
"I'm sorry because it was unprofessional, not because I don't want to," you clarified softly.
"It was," he agreed, not unhanding you, "I know you're right. It's not a good idea. We should be focused on the case. I shouldn't have involved myself to this degree at all."
The words came out like they're meant to convince himself rather than you.
"Just tell me," he continued, "Did you mean it, or was it a mistake because you're upset?"
"It wasn't a mistake. I meant it. But I can't," you said. But fuck, you wanted to.
He looked so pretty sitting there. His shaggy black hair hung in his eyes which were just as wide and uncertain as yours.
You knew that even though Light could be a huge dick, this was wrong. This wasn't justified, and you should not continue. What you should've done was get up and walk out the door.
But something held you there across from L.
"I understand," he said simply. He wasn't going to force you to do anything. If you strayed from Light, that would be your decision.
'Get up. Get up. Get up,' repeated in your head over and over. But you didn't follow your own mental advice.
"Did you want it? Or was it just the heat of the moment?" you asked softly.
You could see the indecision written all over his face. To make things more complicated with the truth or let them return to normal under the guise of a lie? The conversation lulled with the delay, but then his silken voice spoke the answer you'd been waiting for.
"I wanted it. I've been wanting it," he told you, "Everyday I see you, it gets harder to stand that I don't have you to myself."
And you knew you shouldn't, but now, you needed to. You pushed yourself forward and closed the gap. His thin arms encircled you to pull you toward him.
"Just this once, we can. Just for tonight, you can. Please," you whispered.
And who was he to deny you?
The problem with that night was that it hadn't turned out to be just once.
In the moment that you spoke those words, you meant them. You truly intended for it to be a one time thing. A small slice of pleasure you allowed yourself to indulge in. A secret that would weigh on your heart for the rest of your life. A brief lapse in judgment. A mistake.
But after the fact, what transpired between you and L felt like anything but.
One small kiss turned into several which whisked the two of you into a breathless makeout session on that loveseat. After a while, you'd crawled into his lap, and he'd slipped inside you. It was all a blur when you looked back on it now. A night of passion you'd never come close to experiencing before.
Quite honestly before that evening, you never imagined L to be capable of such romantic fervor. You imagined him as a much more distant lover. Similar to Light with the idea that his affection would be subtle. Different in that it wouldn't feel cold.
But for those hours, the word subtle hadn't crossed your mind once. Intense. Dedicated. All-consuming. Those seemed like more appropriate descriptors.
He'd been so good that you basically passed out next to him in the hotel bed afterwards. The two of you slept as if any of what had taken place was normal. Your limbs tangled with one another's while your dreams danced together overhead.
The next morning you came to slowly. You sat up and yawned, your hand lazily rubbing some of the sleep off your face. It took a few seconds of consciousness for panic to shoot through your body as you realized you needed to get up and go home.
Members of the task force would be there within the hour. You couldn't just be here before everyone else, wearing the same outfit as yesterday. It wouldn't take someone with Light's IQ to figure out what that meant.
You scrambled to put on your clothes and gather any belongings you'd need to make your re-arrival look fresh. L began to wake up from the sounds of your scuffling. He boosted himself up on the mattress and watched you for a moment. You'd never seen him so unfocused. It was beautiful in a way, his eyes lidded and tired, hazy with the remnants of a dream.
As quickly as you could without being rude, you explained what you were doing. To your pleasure, he didn't put up a fight. He helped you gather what you needed so you could go freshen up before coming back.
Before you left though, he brought you into a lingering kiss. He held your jaw tenderly and pulled away without any urgency, looking in your eyes while stroking your lip.
"I'll see you when you get back," he murmured.
And that was the beginning of many transgressions that shattered the illusion of 'just this once.'
You rushed home and hopped in the shower. The hot water washed away the rest of your drowsiness. The rising fog of steam enveloped you in warmth, bringing flashes of him back to your mind. How soft his dark locks had felt feathering against your neck. How tight his hands had gripped yours as he thrust into you. How sweet he'd sounded moaning in your ear.
Sighing, you leaned against the cool tile wall. You had to forget all that. It'd been nice, but it had to remain contained. Your work came first, and you would never hurt Light with the knowledge of any of that. It had happened and you didn't regret it. But it was over now.
At least that was what you told yourself.
On that day when you returned to the hotel in a new outfit, everything went as normal. There were no sly remarks from L. No tantalizing looks or teasing touches meant to operate under Light's nose. The both of you acted normal, went about your jobs and performed your duties as you're supposed to.
You weren't really sure what happened, but somewhere between then and now, your intentions to cut it off got muddled and faded away.
A few nights later, you had to stay late to review some aspects of the case with L. It started off professional but took no time to devolve. His fingers that had been so careful flipping through paperwork, eventually ended up beneath your skirt, toying with your clit as he had you continue to read off lines from the files before you.
After that, your entire relationship took on that tone. Your time together became filled with holding hands under the table, stolen kisses before others entered the room, and hushed moans as if one decibel too loud would result in you being found out.
But despite how good it all felt, you weren't heartless.
Every time you were alone with Light, the guilt crushed you. You began to act more like him, withdrawn and inattentive. If he noticed, he didn't complain, but that didn't alleviate your shame any.
You knew you had to end it with him. That was the only right way to go about this now.
And you planned to, you honestly did. You set a deadline in your head for when you would do it by. You stood in front of your mirror for nearly an hour, practicing what you were going to say. You imagined his reactions and tried to brace yourself in advance.
Every last detail was penciled into place. You even told L about it beforehand. As if it were another task for your job, he offered support. His reaction and the way he went about giving you subtle comfort helped you feel like this was the right decision.
In a way, you still loved Light. You probably always would hold a sliver of affection for him. The forever fondness that comes with being your first love. But you were becoming increasingly certain that you loved L too.
The day you planned to cut Light loose, you woke up extra early. The lining of your stomach felt as though it was webbed with live wires. Anxiety coursed through you with every beat of your heart. You got ready for the day like you always did and then went about your routine as normal. You'd meet up with him at the hotel, and then you could do it afterwards when the two of you were alone.
But that day that you had so meticulously planned didn't end with the two of you in some secluded alcove in the lobby. You didn't get to explain anything. He didn't get to yell at you for betraying him or tell you to never speak to him again. None of that happened because instead, that day he came into the room, he didn't leave with you. He didn't go home afterwards.
He offered himself up for confinement. He ended the day in a cell before you ever got to tell him anything.
You sat near L with your head resting on your hands, glaring at the monitor with the image of Light on it. He was looking back at the camera. Even though there was no way for him to have known your plan, you felt like his coppery eyes gleamed with mockery.
L watched your expression, taking in your dire look. Only the two of you occupied the room right now. Everyone else had gone home for the night. He reached across the desk to take your hand. His thumb swiped over your knuckles tenderly.
You glanced at him in return. "Do you really think he could be Kira?" you asked weakly.
The answer you wanted wasn't so much to do with the exact question you asked. No matter how L explained it or whatever evidence he laid out, you could never bring yourself to fully commit to the idea that your boyfriend was this prolific serial killer. Instead, all you really needed in this moment was some reassurance that this stint in confinement wasn't for no reason.
He met your eyes, pausing before he spoke to consider his words.
"Yes. There's a chance he could be, one I'm partial to believe," he said, "But even if he isn't, that will show in time."
You nodded, pouting without realizing it and turning back to the screen. He was looking ahead now, not staring into your soul through the computer screen. You still felt stuck though.
You couldn't launch into a relationship with L now because Light was gone. The others were already pretty up in arms about Light and Mr. Yagami being held. It was doubtful that seeing you and L use the time as an opportunity for your own benefit would lessen those feelings any.
But on the other hand, you figured it would be cruel and unusual to dump Light through the speaker that blasted into his cell.
You sighed and shook your head, casting your vision over to the screen that featured Misa Amane. Your eyes briefly scanned her features. She was pretty; though, it was hard to tell with the large shield they had her face covered in.
"Do you think she's the second Kira?" you asked with disinterest.
He nodded, much more invested in the stakes of these two pieces of the puzzle than you were at the moment.
"Yes. It's just a matter of getting her to admit it," he said.
You nodded again, inclined to agree with him on that. You didn't know Misa all that well, having only crossed paths with her once or twice. From what you could tell, she had a huge crush on your boyfriend. He didn't seem to reciprocate it necessarily, but he did act strange on the few occasions she came up in conversation.
At certain points, you wondered if he was cheating on you with her, but you figured that was your mind projecting.
"We'll figure it out, darling," L said from beside you, drawing you back to reality with his soft tone, "We just have to be patient."
You turned your head to look at him. Some of the tension in your neck and back eased up as you gazed into his eyes. The sight of him sitting there, scrunched up like usual, softened your pessimistic outlook ever so slightly. He made you believe that you could endure all of this simply because he was worth it.
Leaning over the armrest of your office chair, you pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. The images of Light and Misa glowed behind your heads as he furthered it, rolling your seat in his direction.
L had been right about one thing. The past couple months required intense patience.
Light's confinement stretched longer than you would have imagined. You predicted a month at most, and even then, you believed that was kind of a stretch. It shouldn't take that long to determine if he was Kira.
But the one month marker passed and it seemed there was still no end in sight.
You and L continued your affair, still in secret. It was odd having to hide when the main person you were shielding from your feelings sat in a cell under your surveillance twenty four hours a day.
Seeing him like that got to you some days. When he started begging and pleading to be set free, it killed you inside. You could barely stand to look at L when it happened. It felt like you were watching the version of Light you'd fallen in love with come back only to be put in agony. Your chest would ache as you watched the video feed, your lip between your teeth and your eyes brimming with a sheen of salty tears.
L understood as best he could. He had known when this all started that things with you wouldn't be so cut and dry. It still gnawed at him a bit to see you torn up, but he gave you space when you needed it and held you when you didn't.
Just as you were beginning to lose hope that this would ever end, the day came that L informed you he would be releasing Light.
A strange mixture of relief and dread flooded your mind. You hadn't gone this long without speaking to Light since the two of you met back when you were both missing your front teeth and taking notes in crayon. You'd be happy to see him free of course, and it was one step closer to untangling yourself from this twisted web you'd created. But the other part of you filled with uneasiness stemming from your guilt. That combined with the expectation that he wouldn't care one way or the other about being reunited with you.
But when the two of you met again in the new hotel, your predictions couldn't have been more wrong.
You reluctantly glanced up at him when you heard him enter the room. But it was when your eyes met that something felt different. Your racing thoughts came screeching to a halt, a head on collision of guilt and nostalgia.
He strode across the room, lacking the normal weight he seemed to constantly carry on his shoulders these days. You rose to your feet on impulse. His arms reached out, and you felt them wrapping around your body. He pulled you to his chest, holding you there as his nose brushed the crown of your head. He said your name against your scalp with more softness than you'd heard from him in months.
You returned the embrace. Your hands splayed across his back, feeling the lean muscles beneath his shirt. Before you knew what was happening, your eyes felt misty.
"I missed you," you choked out as a whisper, "I've missed you so much."
You'd been missing him longer than fifty days. The version of Light in your arms was the one you loved since you were old enough to really understand the concept. This was the one you thought you'd lost forever because of this investigation.
"I missed you too," he said in return. Even his voice sounded like it used to. He didn't speak with inherent disdain for your very being. The words came out with a soft lilt meant for a lover.
"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I didn't do more to help you," you whimpered. The apology was meant for more than the crime you confessed to.
"It's alright. There was nothing you could do," he said, his hand rubbing the expanse between your shoulder blades.
You ran your fingers up his neck and threaded them in his sandy locks. Pulling back a few inches, you kissed his cheek a couple times. You felt the skin flush red with embarrassment, which brought a smile to your lips. He didn't scowl or push you off. He got flustered.
"I missed you a lot. Don't leave me like that again," you whispered, pulling him back in for one more tight hug.
Your heart ached with the knowledge that you had planned to break up with him soon. You didn't think you could go through with it anymore. Not when he was himself again. Your Light.
The two of you pulled away from each other, and then your eyes landed on L sitting on the couch. Either he was much more understanding than you ever thought possible for a human being, or he had a phenomenal poker face. He looked completely unaffected, faring much better than you would be if the roles were reversed.
In contrast to his unbothered appearance, your stomach turned. You felt more guilt building in the pit of your belly, each brick being laid there reminding you of the fact that you were a horrible person. It was the only truth you would accept about this situation. You were a horrible person whose selfishness had created this mess. Truly, the solution you probably needed was swearing off men. You should devote yourself solely to finding Kira because you didn't deserve anyone. Certainly not the two people in this room with you.
The two of them began to speak, but you could barely hear the words coming out. Each of them sat on one end of the orangey, vintage couch while you took your seat in the chair on the opposite side of the pale rug beneath you. All your mind could focus on were the questions swirling within. How could you have done this? How could you have been so self-centered and stupid?
Neither of them deserved this. They didn't deserve to be caught in the carnage of your emotional state. You should've broken up with Light when you fell for L, plain and simple. That would have been the cleanest exit strategy possible here. Now there was no clean option left. Anything you did was going to leave animosity and tension in its wake.
You didn't zone back into the conversation until the words that had been popping out every so often started to piece together. The arrangement they were planning began becoming clear to you.
"You're going to handcuff yourselves together?" you asked with disbelief.
They both took a break from conversing with each other to look at you. L nodded while Light verbalized an explanation.
"If this gets us closer to catching Kira, it will be worth it."
"But come on, do you really think this is necessary? Wasn't almost two months in confinement enough to prove your innocence? All this will do is drive each of you crazy," you argued. The part you left unsaid was that it would drive you crazy as well.
"I believe it's necessary," L told you, "I also believe it will increase our efficiency."
He stared into your eyes, trying to convince you without words. If he was anyone else, you would believe this was intentional. A strike to get back at you for your loving reunion with Light. But you didn't think L would do that. He'd never taint the integrity of his case with personal feelings, and he'd never hurt you like that. He'd never hurt you like you hurt him.
Before you know it, a long, silver chain with two shiny cuffs attached had been pulled out. Each of your lovers got one locked around his wrist. You glanced between them, your eyes following the links that connected them.
You had a bad feeling this would require even more patience than the last couple months did.
Though it wasn't his intention, L couldn't help but feel that this handcuff idea had turned into a punishment for him. His consequence for sleeping with a girl in a relationship, and then continuing the affair and allowing himself to grow attached.
When he came up with the plan, he thought he could handle it. He had put up with watching you and Light together for months when he believed his feelings were unrequited. But now that he had his own taste of you, it felt nearly unbearable.
Living in the task force building with the two of you and watching you lavish all your affection on Light felt like torture. Every stroke of the other man's soft hair from your loving fingers felt like a blade slicing his skin. Each kiss to his pale temple was a bullet piercing his own flesh. Every time he had to hear you speak to Light in a sappy tone of voice or pay him a compliment, he'd rather rip his own ear drums out.
It was brutal. He didn't even get the reprieve of your nights alone together anymore. Your contact with him had been reduced to emotional looks, double-edged words, or soft touches on the rare occasions that Light fell asleep first.
Those nights were few and far in between. The last time it had happened had been weeks ago. All of three of you had been watching a movie, some horror flick none of you had seen. You sat on the couch together, like this was a hang out and not a date. On the right side, Light leaned back into the cushions. L took up the left side while you were in the middle between them.
Light had you tucked to his side as the movie played in front of you three. It was a possessive gesture and that was obvious to L. The movie wasn't scary and you weren't cold. The other man wanted his relationship with you on display. If L was going to sit in on your dates, at least he would know he was the third wheel.
He tried to act casual about it, tried keeping his eyes solely on the screen showing the carved up victims of the film's killer. But he couldn't stop himself from noticing how you played with Light's fingers. You shuffled them between your own, bending his digits and stroking the smooth skin. You fidgeted with them thoughtlessly like it was the most natural thing in the world. And he realized for both of you, it probably was. He'd never felt so out of place.
The urge to get away from it coursed through him with such intensity that he considered popping his thumb out of place just to slip out of the cuffs and get some space. The air in here felt suffocating, weighing down heavier on him every second. He ran his hand through his sleek hair. This night couldn't be over soon enough.
It was about two-thirds of the way through the movie that he felt your hand on his instead. You inched across the cushions and looped your fingers over his. He turned to look at you and saw Light's head slumped over onto your shoulder.
Unease swirled in your eyes. You seemed almost apologetic, and that was confirmed when you spoke, keeping your voice quiet enough not to wake your sleeping boyfriend.
"I'm sorry," you whispered.
He blinked at you. "For what?"
A little sigh puffed from between your lips. "For this," you said, "I'm sorry for dragging you into this and stringing you along and not just breaking things off one way or the other."
"I was hardly unwilling," he responded. His hand flipped over and returned the hold you had on him.
His words made you smile a little, but sorrow still riddled your features. "You know what I mean. I just... I don't wanna make you feel like I'm leading you on. I don't regret being with you. I still care about you. A lot," you said. The L word stayed on the tip of your tongue. You were too mixed up to expel it.
He shook his head. "Don't apologize," he commanded gently, "If I expected something easy, I wouldn't have let this go as far as it did. I'm just as much to blame."
"But still," you replied, unconvinced, "I know I should just end things or leave you alone. It's just that he finally seems to like me again, and I don't know. It's hard to throw that away."
Sadness pervaded your words, and he hated it. It made sense. The tangled knots between the three of you didn't leave much room to feel happy.
"If Light is what you need right now, then that's ok. You don't need to feel an obligation to me-"
"I don't!" you interjected, almost forgetting to keep your volume down, "I don't. It's not like that. I love Light, but you're important to me too. I don't feel like I owe you anything. I feel attached to you because you're special. You mean so much to me. You're not like anyone I've ever known."
You were killing him, truly. He didn't want to let you go, but he figured giving you a way out would be easier. You just wouldn't take it. He didn't really know what to say. It wasn't like he could just join you and Light... the other man would never go for that.
"I love you too," he whispered, saying the words you wanted to without mincing them, "But feeling so torn isn't good for you. And it's not fair to Light."
Internally, your heart soared from the soft declaration. It would've been one of the most romantic moments of your life if it wasn't for the fact that you had made it so messy. But you had, so all you could do was nod because you knew he was right.
"Figure out what exactly you want, what will make you happy, and what will be best for you," he finished.
He then leaned in and gave you the smallest, softest kiss you'd ever received. Despite its fleeting nature, it struck you like a truck crashing into your body. It was the first time you'd kissed him in weeks, a reminder of how good he felt.
You stared into his eyes once the two of you had separated, running the tip of your tongue over your upper lip. Your heart fluttered in your chest for him. Your breaths came in and out with a little more effort.
Then, interrupting the exchange between you two, Light snuck his other arm around your waist and pulled you closer to his body like you were a beloved stuffed animal. The sudden reminder of his presence nearly caused you to jump out of your skin.
You ripped your eyes away from L and settled back in next to your boyfriend. Cuddling him closer, one of your hands ran through his hair and ensured he didn't wake himself up by moving.
And just like that the moment was over. Things went back to how they had been every other second the three of you spent in this arrangement. But L had gotten his fill and it was enough to keep him going for a while more.
Over the next couple days, he watched the two of you more closely. Part of him did it for selfish reasons. He wanted to find more time he could have you to himself. More moments he could steal from Light. But there was another part of him that was purely curious. It was the part of him always looking for a logical solution.
Through his observations, it became increasingly obvious to him that Light wasn't happy about this handcuffing arrangement in regards to his time with you either. He just seemed able to tolerate it much better than L could. Probably because he was the one with the official claim on you. He didn't have to hide his feelings.
Light could openly sit with his arm around your shoulders or your ass parked on his lap. He was the one that could stroke your head or kiss your cheek. He got to call you 'sweetheart' and be the recipient of your bright smiles.
At first he didn't take advantage of any of those things too often, but lately, the detective had noticed an uptick in all of those behaviors. The others had caught onto it too and found his rejuvenated affection for you slightly odd, but they chalked it up to almost two months apart. Two months without any form of physical contact would drive anyone to feel needy. And L agreed with that for the most part, though like with everything else, he had some theories of his own.
He also believed that Light's increase in attentiveness towards you stemmed from jealousy beginning to fester inside him. Maybe jealousy wasn't exactly the right word, but his actions toward you weren't purely romantic. They felt like warnings sometimes, reminders that you belonged to him.
He didn't think you had told your boyfriend about your affair. It was doubtful that he would've just let that slide and carried on with things as if they were totally fine. And he didn't think he was catching on either. As much as it pained him, you had been so inconspicuous. If he was anyone but himself, he didn't think he would paint you as attracted to anyone other than Light.
There was only one real instance he could identify that would qualify as Light catching scent of the truth.
The three of you had been working on the case in the evening, sitting side by side at the table in the main room of HQ. Your bodies lined up in their normal arrangement, Light on one side, you in the middle, and L on the other.
Over the crown of your boyfriend's brown hair, sat the band on a pair of headphones. The audio of last week's news coverage droned in his ears. Meanwhile you worked on taking notes on dates of killings and potential patterns and connections between them. L was scribbling some points down about names of victims.
It had been small, and he'd barely noticed it. But when his eyes drifted to the left side of his page, he caught a little marking on the right edge of yours.
A small pair of dots with a curved line beneath stared up at him. The little smiley face gave him the look you couldn't, spoke the words he didn't hear from you anymore.
He ended up drawing his own tiny ":)" on his paper. It rested right next to yours, only separated by the thin space between the two sheets.
It only took you a minute or so to notice. He acted like he was focused on his work, but he subtly watched in his peripheral for the smile that spread across your lips.
Continuing the game, you brought your pen back to the sight of your doodle and drew a little tongue sticking out of the mouth. He laughed under his breath. Thoughts of adding onto his filled his brain, but before he could, the third person in the room interjected.
"Are you guys passing notes now?" Light asked before nudging the headphones off one of his ears, both visibly and audibly unamused.
Your head whipped to face him. "Sorry. I just got a little distracted," you explained. You leaned in and placated him with a kiss to his cheek. Then your attention returned to the task in front of you.
L continued to watch as the interaction played out. Before he could refocus his own intentions, he caught Light giving him a look. It was only for a few seconds, but the suspicion shot across the back of your shoulders directly into L's skull.
But as far as he knew, that had been it. Neither of you had talked about it in front of him, so unless you discussed it while he slept, Light must have just let it go.
So the only other option left that could explain this shift in his level of affection was natural possessiveness. Whether he was conscious of it or not, Light had to share you with someone else 24/7 now. The two of you were never alone anymore. Even if L stayed quiet, forgetting his presence entirely was not an easy task with the way he stared. Private conversations and truly intimate moments were a thing of the past in your shared life. He supposed that would grate on anyone.
He still wasn't decided on that line of reasoning though, so he filed it away with the rest of the ways Light had changed during his confinement. He could figure out the source later. For now, he just needed to focus on you.
Quite honestly, he couldn't believe he had let any of this happen. He found himself wishing that he stopped on that first night. That part of his mind yearned for some way to go back in time and tell you the kiss was unprofessional and leave the tension to fizzle out. Everything would be so much easier in the universe where that actually happened.
But then again, in that universe, that version of himself would never get to experience you, and he didn't envy that in the slightest. Even with all the drama and secrets and heartache, he didn't regret you at all. It was the mess he hated, not the person at the center of it. No matter how hopeless things between the two of you seemed, he found himself unable to let go. You could trample his heart as much as you wanted and drag it through countless fields of broken glass, but at the end of the day, he'd still be there waiting for you to pick him from the carnage.
He knew it was pathetic. Childish even, believing in some sort of modern fairytale with you. But being aware of those things didn't curtail his feelings any.
If anything, it made them worse. Not having you to himself like he did for the time Light was gone created a bitter taste in the back of his mouth. Acidic resentment ready to spew at any moment toward the man toting you around as his possession.
The worst it felt was when you two did try to have a private moment while he slept.
Normally, you spent the nights in your own room in the task force building, but on occasion, you'd fall asleep before you could retire to your own space. In those cases, you'd sleep pressed to Light's side on one of the two beds in his and L's shared bedroom.
That night when the jealousy burned so hot inside him it felt like it would bubble over, it was because he woke up to the sound of the chain rustling. It dangled across the space between the two twin mattresses, the links clanking against each other and the floor. The sounds weren't erratic but just noisy enough to pull him from the comforts of unconsciousness.
His mind stayed hazy at first, ready to be lured back under. But then he heard a soft moan. Light's voice tenderly bursting into the otherwise quiet space. Then came you shushing him.
"I'm only gonna keep going if you stay quiet," you whispered.
That brought L to his senses a little more. He had been facing away from the two of you, so he couldn't see what was going on exactly. He blinked away his sleepiness and tried to focus on deducing that though.
From there, he could hear the rhythmic strokes of your hand. The wet sound of you spitting onto your palm. Light's grunts as he presumably bit his lip and kept his face against your neck.
"You're so good at that," he choked out while gritting his teeth.
A quiet giggle trickled from your lips, and a part of L died inside. It felt kind of stupid. He knew you and Light were intimate. But knowing and bearing witness were two separate things.
"You still have to be quiet. If you wake him up, I'm never doing this for you again. If you get hard in the middle of the night, you'll have to rely on your own hand," you teased before connecting your lips with his.
L lied in bed as the rest of that played out. The delicate smooches and creaks of the bed. Light's strained whines and labored breaths.
Even after you'd finished him off and the two of you fell asleep again, he rested on the bed, moving as much as a stone. His eyes stared at the wall while his limbs felt like cement. Thoughts tangled up in his mind. The feelings of betrayal and envy and disgust and longing all muddled together.
Humiliating as it was, none of them killed his need for you. If you came to him tomorrow and informed him you and Light had split, he'd be as ready to embrace you as he was a few hours ago.
The desperate yearning for you was a disease, but as of now, it wasn't terminal. He could still function, could still even coexist with the subject of his hatred. That's what he was doing right now as the three of you played Mario Kart on the Wii hooked up to the tv in their shared room.
You and Light were curled up in the corner of the couch again while L sat a few feet away on the floor with his back against the structure. His shoulders tilted side to side as he maneuvered the controller in his hands.
Three of the small split screens showed your chosen characters weaving through Coconut Mall. You had a shitty race so far, lagging behind in fifth place. Light was up ahead in first with Toad while L trailed close behind in third as Dry Bones.
You already resigned to losing given that it was the third lap and you didn't have any good power ups. After winning the last cup, that was fine with you. One of them could have this one.
The two men on either side of you didn't share your nonchalance. Both were dead silent, completely focused on the tv screen. They zipped their cars through the virtual parking lot, dodging the mini obstacles in the way. Glancing over at his corner of the screen, you could see Light basically had it in the bag. But then L jammed his thumb down on one of the wiimote buttons.
A blue shell flew out of the little skeleton turtle's hand and zipped up ahead to Toad. It slammed down with all the pettiness L felt inside, and Dry Bones passed by, smug with success.
"Damn!" Light huffed, dropping the controller in his lap.
He glared at the screen as you finished up the race. You came in fourth place rather than fifth. The feeling of slight achievement wasn't long lived though. You could tell out of the corner of your eye that your boyfriend had just barely resisted the urge to fling the plastic remote towards the wall.
L turned his head to look up at the both of you. His gossamer lashes kissed his cheeks as he blinked a few times. You looked at him awkwardly, hoping he could say something to cut through the tension.
"You know, Light. If you used the mushroom in your inventory, you could've avoided the blue shell. There's a trick you can do with the timing, but also, you would've been over the finish line if you sped up so it wouldn't have mattered if it hit you anyw-"
Light's head snapped in his direction, his stare even more agitated than before. Your eyes flitted between them like a scolded puppy even though you weren't on the receiving end of the icy look. If there was one thing about Light you knew, it was that he hated being shown up. And even more, he loathed being corrected afterwards.
"What happened to you pretending like you're not even here?" he said with a tight jaw, "This is supposed to be time for me and my girlfriend. And last I checked, that isn't you."
L shrugged in response, not reciprocating the annoyance. "It was your girlfriend who asked me to play. Maybe you should have checked with her about that," he said coolly.
You cringed a little, hearing the subtle assertion in his voice. He said your girlfriend, but you could sense the challenge. The unspoken dare to Light to make that more apparent so he could prove otherwise. You really really didn't want that to happen though, so you interrupt the exchange with forced laughter.
"Guys, chill out. It's just Mario Kart. No need to get all upset," you said.
L took your advice and turned his eyes back towards the television. Coconut Mall was only the second track in the cup after all. There were two more to go.
You looked up at Light who was relaxing now too and sinking back into the plush cushions of the couch. He still hadn't picked up the blue wiimote in his lap, and you weren't confident he was going to in the next few seconds.
As a preemptive strike, you leaned in and kissed his cheek. "You don't have to play anymore if you don't want to, baby," you murmured.
Baby.
The word stabbed at L. He peered back at your shared corner of the couch.
"Don't be a sore loser, Light. You know you don't have to be good at everything," he taunted.
In an instant, your boyfriend's face morphed into his previous harsh expression. You grabbed the controller from his lap, preventing him from lobbing it at L before the thought to do so could form in his mind.
"I actually have a lot of other games. We could all just play something else. There's Wii Sports, Just Dance. I even have this one where you're like a detective, so maybe you guys would like that..." you chattered.
"Can we just watch a movie instead? Something that involves less input from him," Light responded with a pointed gaze in L's direction.
"Sure!" you chirped, all too eager for another distraction.
You hopped up from the sofa, nearly tripping over the chain that connected their wrists. Your feet got their balance though and narrowly avoided an embarrassing fall. Once stable, you headed over to the little binder of disks you'd brought to HQ when you all moved in here and rifled through it to find something that could please both men.
L chewed the inside of his cheek. He had nothing to really be irritated about in this moment, but this whole situation wore on him. As a result, he felt like being a little pushy.
"Your girlfriend was excited to play that game, wasn't she?" L asked, still keeping the facade of casualness, "We really have to stop because you're not winning?"
The way Light gritted his teeth was nearly audible. "She's the one who suggested we do something else," he defended, "If she still wanted to play, she would tell me. She doesn't need you speaking on her behalf."
"Yeah, really. It's no big deal. I can play later," you said, trying your best to smooth things out.
L's pupils lingered on you, assessing and judging. He knew you were trying to defuse the situation above all else. He understood the motivation, but that didn't mean he liked it. Why couldn't you let the fuse burn down to the blow up? The explosion that could set everything straight. Let it clear this mess and leave nothing but rubble that the two of you could rise from to be together.
As of now though, that was nothing more than a wild pipe dream. He let go of it. It was probably best for the case anyway.
You popped a DVD into the player before standing and prancing back to the sofa. Taking your seat, you slotted yourself right under Light's arm, pressed against his side. L scooted up onto the couch too but maintained the distance of a single cushion. It was weird sharing the space with the two of you, yet he figured it was better than staying on the floor and feeling like a kid being babysat by a negligent couple.
Only a few moments passed before the menu screen appeared. The cheesy looped music sounded for a couple seconds before you tapped the button to play your selection. It was some 90s movie. One that despite its star-studded cast, was still filled to the brim with atrocious acting.
All three of you were silent through the beginning even though none of you held much interest in the film. The plot panned out predictably; the characters fighting over petty qualms and falling in love at the drop of the hat while the end of the world decorated the background of their lives.
L let out a quiet sigh, a section of his dark tresses swaying with the force of his breath. The heel of his palm squished against his cheek while boredom swirled in his eyes and spread across his other features.
Meanwhile on your side of the couch, you remained relieved you'd avoided imminent catastrophe. Your head leaned against Light's shoulder while his fingers twirled absent-mindedly on your bicep. About forty-five minutes into the film, he turned and kissed your forehead.
You peeked up at him. The act would've been unusual for the Light you'd become accustomed to months ago, but for this updated version, it was fairly in line. You gave him a tiny smile and snuggled further into his side. Relaxation permeated the both of you as you sat there and watched the stupid movie in front of you. To you, it was the end of conflict. This acted as a time killer to fill the rest of the night before you could go to sleep.
But your boyfriend seemed to view the situation through a different lens.
His fingers continued to massage your upper arm in light ministrations. They were barely noticeable. So casual they almost felt inherent.
But that was only until they dragged upward to your neck and collar. The smooth pads of his fingertips trailed over the little bump of your clavicle. They dusted over you with the most gentle care you'd ever seen from the man holding you close. His digits traced with intention, with subtle desire. They delved downward and teased the top of your breasts, bringing heat creeping up from the pit of your belly into your cheeks.
Carefully, you readjusted your position, brushing him off in the most inadvertent way possible. In contrast to the way he pulled away from your hand all those months ago, this could truly appear to be accidental. It didn't matter though because it didn't deter him any.
His head ducked in, and he kissed the skin beneath your earlobe. He pulled you a little closer to his body, allowing you to feel the definition of his form. An involuntary shudder swept over you. You tried to fight it, but the provocative touches had an effect whether you wanted them to or not.
He moved his lips down, licking and nipping from your earlobe onto your throat. That was when you almost lost it, nearly letting a moan escape you. It would have been soft and quiet, but at any volume, it wasn't a sound you wanted getting out right now.
Your eyes fluttered. All his touches felt so good. Light knew your body. Even though he was a dick for most of the beginning of your relationship, he was still observant. He knew all the spots that made you melt. He knew the area below your pulse point caused you to squirm and whimper while grazing the divot in your hips made them buck as a chill overtook you.
He kept his kisses quiet. Not quiet enough for someone attempting to hide them, but to the point that he wasn't slobbering all over your neck.
Either way, L noticed what the two of you were up to. He felt jealousy taking root inside of him. Ugly, brutal, all-consuming envy. He hated it, didn't want it at all, but it still made itself known.
He kept his eyes locked on the screen. He could feel you two shifting around in your corner. He could hear your breath hitch like it did for him. He could see in his peripheral how Light held you, in the way he wished he could.
"Light, quit it," you whispered.
You really tried to keep this between you and him, but he kept going. One set of his fingers swept down over your curves and gripped the dip in your waist. They squeezed the soft flesh, keeping you close.
"Shhh," he hushed you before nipping at the sensitive skin of your throat, "Relax, baby. This is supposed to be a date, yeah?"
Suppressing a whimper in your throat, you nodded weakly. You decide to just let him mess around a little more. Maybe he could work out his frustration and then mellow out.
At first, you thought that worked. He eased his efforts, laying some tender pecks on your neck. His kisses hit your skin with alluring care. You felt lulled into a sense of security. Your body calmed itself and cooled the fires of arousal beginning to burn. But then his lips parted and his tongue snuck out, licking a stripe up your neck before his mouth engulfed the wet area.
Simultaneously, his hand coasted back up and landed on your breast. This time the touch wasn't teasing. He grabbed the mound of flesh with intention. He kneaded it with unmistakable desire. Heat blossomed between your legs like it would when the two of you were alone. But instead of sinking into that feeling and spreading your thighs for him, you squeaked and tried to sit up.
"Stop," you whined. You were still trying to keep quiet, but you had to raise your volume somewhat to be forceful.
You grabbed his hand on your chest and pushed it back down onto your stomach. Though all that did was give him the leverage to pull you onto his lap entirely. The chain connecting him to L rattled as your body scraped across it.
Finally, L turned his head and looked at the two of you straight on. He observed the way Light held you to his chest and continued ravishing your throat. His eyes scanned over the way you squirmed and tried shutting him down without making a scene. The thing that stood out the most though was Light's eyes staring back at him. They gleamed with self-satisfaction, smugness to a level that dared L to try something. The glow of the tv hit his copper irises in a way that made them look closer to a deep shade of red.
L swallowed hard, taking a few more moments to watch. He could see from your expression you were embarrassed but not entirely displeased with the affection. It felt like a swarm of insects tearing him apart from the inside, the knowledge you could still enjoy touches that came from someone else. He didn't think he had that ability anymore.
"She told you to stop," he cut in, bitterness dripping from each word.
Pulling his mouth away from your neck for a few moments, your boyfriend's attention zeroed in entirely on the other man in the room.
"And was she talking to you when she said it?" he asked pointedly.
A pause filled the gap in conversation after those words. Both men stared one another down, contemplating the next move in the verbal chess match. Light's arms remained firm around you. He didn't let you scoot back to the neutral position between the both of them.
"I thought you said we could do whatever we wanted in front of you. That we shouldn't pay you any mind. Act 'like you're not even here,'" Light continued.
"Maybe it's better that I am here if you don't know what the word 'stop' means," he fired back.
You finally found the courage to cut in after watching the two of them go back and forth.
"It's fine, Ryuzaki. We were just messing around. I'm sorry if we made you uncomfortable," you said, diplomatic as ever.
"It's not fine," he challenged you. For the first time ever, you saw L lose his cool. His eyes blazed with ire for both you and Light. He stood from the couch, maintaining his glare. "You never stand up to him and then wonder why he never changes!"
Your eyes widened at the outburst, but your expression quickly melted into that of an ashamed child. On the other hand, your boyfriend lost his sense of superiority and now just looked confused.
"What is he talking about?" he asked.
"I- It's not-" you started to stammer, but you're unsure of who to even address, let alone what to say.
L could see you were struggling. A small part of him felt some guilt for lashing out, but the whole of him knew he needed to. This game between the three of you had grown tiresome. All he did to help was stay quiet and give you the room to collect your thoughts.
Light didn't offer that courtesy though and spoke again. "What is he talking about? You wonder why I never change?" he echoed.
"It's not like that," you defended with urgency, "I don't wish you would change."
Disgust crept into L's eyes. Before, he'd always found your timidity endearing. It was like an extension of your intelligence. Modesty that you projected because you wrongfully believed you didn't fit in with everyone else.
Though this exposed the truth of that characteristic. It wasn't inherently precious or just some part of you that came from the desire not to hurt others.
Right now, it was cowardice.
"Maybe not anymore. His confinement must have changed you too," L said.
His words hollowed out your insides, leaving the cavern of your chest bare, spare the remaining shards of your heart. The room around you felt like a sinking ship. Everything you knew would soon be lost underwater.
"I haven't changed," you said, your initial defensiveness fizzling out, "You don't understand."
"My confinement?" Light repeated, ignoring your words to the other man, "Did something happen between you two while I was locked up?"
It was hard to keep up when accusations were flying at you from both sides.
"No! Just let me explain," you denied, "When you were gone, me and Ryuzaki got kind of close because there's no one else around here to really talk to, you know?"
"Talk," L choked out, "That's all we did, huh? Talk?"
"I didn't mean- I just... It's not-" you tried to continue. You could feel your throat closing up as your eyes began stinging with tears.
There was no way you were going to let yourself cry. Not when you knew you were so undisputedly in the wrong. It would probably just make this situation worse. The pain you caused wasn't hypothetical anymore, but there were still salvageable pieces of the shattered whole.
You took a deep breath before scooting off of Light's lap. His arms had long gone limp around your waist. Sitting between them on the sofa, you stared down at your thighs for a few moments. When you finally felt some semblance of courage, you brought your head back up.
Both of them were watching you in anticipation. L still had broken hearts gleaming in his eyes while angry confusion dominated Light's features.
"While you were in confinement, Ryuzaki and I..." you started softly. Even though trailing off left your crimes unspoken, you knew the implication was obvious to Light. You forced yourself to continue anyways, needing to take responsibility. "It started a little before that actually. We got close. And we did a lot more than talk."
You sucked in a shaky breath, conjuring the will to expel the next set of words.
"I was unfaithful. And I'm so sorry."
Your head hung in shame. The room fell silent, spare for the quiet dialogue coming from the characters on the television.
"You... you cheated?" Light finally sputtered, "You cheated on me?"
Turning your head, you looked at him before nodding. "I'm so sorry, Light. I know it sounds like a cliche, but I never meant to hurt either of you."
The words came out like a broken record as your eyes watered to the point of overflow. With stiff fingers, you brushed away the stray tear.
"Why?" he asked, his tone settling into anger.
"I felt alone. And you were so distant. And I didn't know how to talk to you. But I didn't even try," you explained. It felt cheap to try and provide an excuse.
"How the hell am I distant? We're with each other every single day!" he snapped.
"Yeah, but before... you were different before. You were so mean all the time!" you responded.
He didn't have anything to say back to that because part of him knew it was true. And as shitty as it felt trying to justify yourself, he still had never offered up a reason as to why that was. He left you to wonder what you had done even now that he acted like he actually wanted to be in a relationship with you.
"It just started as advice. That was it, I swear. He just offered to help me because he saw how I was feeling. Then it became something more, and I was wrong for letting it while we were still together. But then you went away and I couldn't do anything about it and we just got even closer. And I'm just so sorry," you whispered, "I don't expect you to forgive me."
L shifted back and forth on his feet before lowering himself onto the sofa again. He still said nothing. He just observed, waiting to see what Light would say next.
"Do you still... have feelings for him?" he asked, "Do you still love me?"
"Yeah, I still love you," you said and looked back up at him, "I know I did a shitty job of showing it, but I never wanted to lose you. I... I couldn't just let you go. We've always been each other's."
He diverted his focus when you whispered out your words of endearment for him. "You didn't answer both questions," he muttered.
Sighing, you paused. You mentally tried to decide how to answer. Speaking as if only you and Light were in the room would hurt L, but addressing him rather than your boyfriend probably wouldn't bode well for you either.
"What do you guys want me to say?" you whispered.
"Tell the truth. Be honest. Say what it is you want," L finally joined in.
"Say it instead of just taking it," Light added.
Even though their directions were clear, it still took a few moments to find the words you wanted to use.
"I want both of you," you answered, "I don't want to pick. I don't want to hurt either of you any more than I already have."
The room stayed quiet after your declaration. You could feel the weight of Light's stare, but L simply seemed resigned. Reaching out on both sides of yourself, you took their hands.
You wrapped your fingers around their palms. Your digits could feel the subtle differences in each appendage. Both were smooth and slender, though L's knuckles protruded more than Light's. Luckily, neither one of them made the move to pull away.
"I know it's stupid and childish and selfish, and you can call me all that stuff. Just please don't leave," you begged softly.
The lone tear from before was no longer a stray. More followed its path and trailed down the smooth curves of your cheeks.
After a few moments, you felt L's thumb begin to swipe back and forth over your knuckles. Always the more lenient of the two, he was already caving a little bit to the sight of you weeping.
"I can't leave," Light grumbled and raised his hand, reminding you of the binds that kept him here.
He wasn't as swayed by your display of emotion. His jaw remained clenched with his eyes set in a harsh glare. You could hear the process of his thoughts piecing together in his head, you just couldn't decipher what exactly they were.
"So what?" he said when he finally spoke again, "I'm not good enough for you anymore. I have to share you with him?"
"No. You are good enough for me. That's not why," you reassured. Squeezing his hand, you continued, "You don't have to share. If you want to dump me, I would understand. I just... I can't just pretend me and Ryuzaki never happened."
Blinking at you, he took in each word and let it float through his mind. He mostly understood your point despite the murderous anger flowing through him in that moment. And on top of that, the small piece of him that knew the smart thing would be to break up with you was dominated by the larger part of his psyche that refused to let L win.
If he broke up with you, there was no doubt in his mind that L would accept you with ease. Why should he get to have that? Why should Light be the one who ended up alone in this situation? You were his first, and you still wanted him. You'd strayed for a moment, but your heart still belonged to him. He was sure that in time he could erase any remnants of your infidelity. He just had to be patient.
"What does Ryuzaki think?" he asked before looking at the other man, "He's been so quiet. Does he think we should have you choose? Does he want you all to himself?"
L returned his stare past you. "I said what I think. I want her to have what she wants," he replied.
"Don't give me that," Light sneered, "This isn't a case. There's nothing you have to put together before coming up with a conclusion. Do you still want her? Do you still want her even if she can't make up her mind and thinks she deserves you and me?"
You cringed at the wording of his questions but decided not to interject. Instead, you waited for L's response.
"Yes. I still want her. Even under those circumstances," he admitted.
The revelation made Light both smug and bitter. Knowing someone else coveted what was his felt good, but realizing that same person had some success obtaining it ate away at him. He wouldn't make that apparent though.
"I just think it would be easier if we worked on solving the case first," you added, "If I pick one way or the other, someone will end up hurt and that would only cut into our chances of catching Kira."
"So what do you suggest we do instead then?" Light asked, "Do we all pretend like everything is normal? That neither of us feel anything for you, and you don't feel for us?"
"No, Light-" you tried to defend, but he kept going.
"Or is it that you really want us to share? You wanna sleep between us at night? Want us both to tell you how proud we are when you do something good? Want both of our attention focused on you?" he mocked.
"No, I just think we should talk about it," you offered. You felt your cheeks starting to burn.
"Talk about what? What plan did you have in mind?" he carried on, grabbing your jaw and making you look into his eyes.
"I don't know..." you acquiesced.
From your other side, L hardened his gaze a bit. "She already apologized and offered to come up with a solution, Light. Don't just try making her feel worse," he warned.
"I'm not. I'm just trying to get some clarity on the situation," he said, "I just want to know what she means."
You didn't have an answer for him because in all honesty, you didn't really know what you meant. This wasn't a daydream. It wasn't realistic to expect both men to just magically forgive your betrayals. This wasn't a fantasy world in which their love for you would overpower all other negatives. But you didn't want to contend with a reality that wasn't that way, so you remained silent.
That didn't deter Light from coming after you some more though.
"Just say what you were thinking," he encouraged, "Is it that you want both of us to call you baby and pretty girl and all those other sweet names I know you like? Or maybe it's less innocent. Do you have a thing for two guys at once that you never told me about?"
The warmth of embarrassment flooded your face in full force. You could barely think with the hot air swirling around inside your skull.
"No, Light-" you asserted. But again, he keeps going.
"No? Maybe you like being watched then? I know you love almost being caught. But do you want someone actually watching you?" he taunted.
"Light, this isn't doing anything to-" L tried to intervene on your behalf. But your boyfriend didn't want to hear it.
"Do you wanna show Ryuzaki how you like to be touched? Or is it that you wanna show me what I'm missing out on now?" he asked.
"That's not why!" you said and yanked your hand away.
He laughed in response. He had no problem continuing to stare you down either.
"Maybe not entirely, but I know you. I know there's a small part of you that gets off on being caught." he accused.
And that was true. Having known you for so long, he knew what revved your engine. You'd told him all your dirty little secrets and darkest desires. Now that he was openly using them against you, you weren't sure how to refute him.
"Yeah, but this is more..." you said.
"I know it is, but you don't want it to be more right now, do you? That was your point. That we should save deeper discussion until after the case."
You nodded, hoping he would maybe ease up now.
But his grin only grew more severe. He mimicked your nod.
"Alright. I think I could come around to accept that idea," he told you, "I just need some more convincing. Maybe you and Ryuzaki could persuade me."
You eyed him nervously, wondering what exactly it was he planned on as methods of temptation. Turning your head, you found that L was just as lost as you.
"How?" you asked.
"Show me. Show me what I missed out on when I was off proving my innocence. Show me what you can't just throw away. Show me what was worth risking everything for," he commanded.
Your lips parted as the thunder of your heart pounding boomed through your ears. His request was pretty obvious, but you just couldn't believe it. It didn't sound like anything Light would have ever asked for. But then again, he probably would have marked cheating down as something you'd never do.
You moved your eyes to L in an attempt to gauge his reaction. He seemed just as stunned and uncertain as you though.
"C'mon. Don't act all shy now. I doubt you two had any problems when you were doing it behind my back," Light said.
"Light," you pleaded, your lip jutting out a bit.
"What?" he asked, colder than before.
"Are you sure you want us to... do that?" you checked.
"You're only going to hurt yourself more," L added.
"I don't need you speaking on my wellbeing," he said to the other man before redirecting to you, "I'm sure. I want to see what I'll be getting out of sharing you. So go ahead. I'm sure you've been missing him since I came back."
A pit formed in your stomach. Your vision shifted from one guy to the other. It was true that you'd missed L a lot as of late, but this was not how you'd envisioned your reunion at all. You didn't want to lose either of them though, and if this is how you went about that, then so be it.
"You want me to..."
"Kiss him," he directed.
A spasm overtook your heart, but you suppressed it with a deep breath. You then turned to L. He was right there, seemingly waiting for you to take that step. With one last look at Light, you refocused completely on him.
You scooted a little closer to his side of the couch and started to lean in.
"Are you sure?" he murmured before your arrival.
You only nodded in response before pressing your lips to his.
Your eyes fluttered shut and then so did his. You melted into the exchange with no real issue. You hadn't really kissed L in what felt like forever. Even under the awkward circumstances, you wouldn't let a chance to have him like this slip through your fingers.
He cupped one of your cheeks with his hand, the other slid around your waist. His lips moved in tandem with yours. In no time, your mouths found a perfect rhythm to share. He guided you into his lap now, situating you between his thighs.
Your quiet moan spilled into the air. You ran your hands up his chest, fingers caressing his lean figure through his clothing. His hand on your back squeezed your flesh and pulled you closer.
"She has a spot on her back that makes her go crazy," Light offered from the sidelines.
"I know," L said back before locking you into another kiss.
You glanced over at Light with shyness clouding your eyes. He had leaned back into the corner of the couch and openly watched you make out with L. His legs were spread while his arms draped over the backing and arm rest.
Butterflies erupted in a constant stream in your belly. Being observed by one while being kissed by the other felt like nothing you'd ever experienced before.
If L minded as much as you, he didn't show it. He kept himself focused entirely on kissing you. His tongue traced the seam of your lips before sliding into your mouth and dancing with your own. The hand that had been massaging your back moved to grope your hips.
You whimpered for him before leaning into his body more. He took your eagerness for him in stride and cradled you in the perfect position to make out.
For a while, it felt just like before. Like it was just you and him. You wrapped your arms over his shoulders and reciprocated his movements like it was the most natural thing in the world.
After a while of kissing, his right set of fingers trailed down your body. They delved beneath the waistband of your sweatpants, finding their place between your thighs. Over your panties, they stroked your cunt. The sudden burst of stimulation made you gasp against his lips.
With another little whine, you parted your legs a few inches for him. His digits took advantage and worked with more skill to stroke your clit and tease your slit.
"Is this how it started?" Light asked, reminding you of his presence again.
Reluctantly, you pulled away from L and turned to look at him. With droopy eyes and puffy lips, you tried to register the question.
"Kinda," you mumbled.
Even though you were talking, L didn't stop petting your pussy. He only seemed more dedicated to the task. He hooked his chin over your shoulder and laid some kisses along your jawline.
More little noises of pleasure seeped out of you, but Light continued with his questions.
"Kind of? Did you just kiss the first time? Or did you let him touch you like this too? Maybe even more?" Light mocked.
"I didn't-" you started to defend, but L nipped at your throat, making you stutter. You whined before continuing, "It was just different."
"I'm sure," Light mocked.
You wanted to argue more, but L tugged the damp cloth of your underwear aside and slotted his fingers against your folds. He swirled them around your little bundle of nerves as his mouth worked on your neck. You arched your back, pressing your ass against his thigh.
"No more lying," he whispered near your ear, "Be honest about how good I make you feel."
Your eyes fluttered at the command while his fingertips continued toying with the most sensitive part of you. They rubbed a little more before sliding down and dipping into your entrance.
"It feels so good," you whimpered, sinking further into his embrace.
"That's right," he purred.
His fingers worked into your dripping hole with ease. He pumped two in and out, stroking your inner walls as they scissored inside you.
From the other end of the sofa, Light watched the outline of L's hand move beneath your pants. He studied the way your head fell back and how your shoulders relaxed. It was like being able to watch your shared intimate moments from another perspective. Anger and betrayal still brewed inside him, but they were becoming less volatile with every little squeak you made.
"I missed feeling this perfect pussy. So soft and wet for me," L whispered. He nosed at your neck for a moment before licking up to your earlobe.
You shuddered in response. "I missed you more," you breathed.
Your hips bucked against his wrist when his fingers curled within and brushed up against a sweet spot. You mewled without any regard for volume. The sensations he brought you were your only concern.
Light bit the inside of his bottom lip. His breathing became a little heavier. He had never been with anyone but you. And you'd never been with anyone but him until L. Seeing someone else explore you like this made him feel something he couldn't articulate.
While watching, he imagined a few months ago when your relationship wasn't in the best place. He envisioned the days his words left you with tears in your eyes and a broken heart thumping between your ribs. Those were the days that brought you to L. He tried picturing it now, you after work, finding comfort in the other man. Finding refuge from the one who was supposed to love you more than anyone in this world.
But Light did love you. Even after all of this, he was sure of it. And more than that, he still believed he was the best person for you. He'd known you forever after all. Longer than anyone else in his life or yours besides parents. When he looked at you these days, sometimes he still saw the girl who used to write her initials on the tips of his sneakers during recess. You'd get the same look in your eyes working on the case now that you used to get filling out study guides in school. When you laughed, it rang out the same, and when you cried, your lip quivered like it did the time you skinned your knee on the way to his house.
He couldn't forget any of that even if this did hurt him worse than anything else he'd ever felt before, and he wouldn't let this thing with L take you away from him. He'd just have to hold out until you all caught Kira, and the two of you could move on.
The only thing he felt a little alarmed by right now was that holding out didn't seem like such a chore any more. Despite his pain, he couldn't deny the way his cock was filling out in his pants as he watched you get felt up and pleasured by someone else.
"My turn," he mumbled as he forced himself to return to his senses, "I want a turn with her before we share."
You blinked yourself back to reality as you felt his voice wedging between you and L. The man who'd been kneading your breasts while fingering you reluctantly pulled his digits out of your cunt and then removed his hand from your sweatpants. He gave you a few more gentle pecks to your throat before giving you a nudge back to your boyfriend.
Crawling towards Light, you didn't make it all the way there before his arms came out and dragged you close. His lips crashed against yours in an instant. Your noses bumped and his hands squeezed you tight. Despite the haste of it all, you had no problem matching his movements. You knew Light's body as well as you knew your own.
Your hand slid up into his hair, giving it a soft tug in the way you knew he liked. He moaned against your lips and kissed harder. Everything he was doing felt familiar, just at an increased volume.
"You're still mine," he whispered against your lips before making out with you in full again. He didn't give you a chance to respond before his mouth was back on yours.
You whined into the kisses, sinking into the cushions below you as he laid you out across them. His lips worked down over your neck in a similar pattern to L. He worked on marking the side of your throat the other man hadn't touched while his hands roamed your torso.
Squirming a little beneath him, your head tilted back against the couch, and you found yourself looking up at L. When your eyes met, his hand came out and stroked your cheek. He swiped his thumb back and forth over the curve of it.
"Can't have you forgetting about me," Light muttered between pecks to your neck.
"I didn't," you breathed. You wrapped your legs around his waist and tightened them.
He hummed in acknowledgement before rolling his hips against you, allowing you to feel his bulge grind between your thighs.
"Since you want us both, I'm gonna let you have us both," he whispered.
You turned your head and kissed along his cheek and temple. It didn't feel right saying 'thank you' to something like that, so you could only hope your touches would fill their place.
"Go sit in his lap. With your back against his chest," he commanded.
He then pulled off of you and allowed you to get up. Slowly, you rose off of your back and scooted in L's direction. He was ready to take you into his arms again. He positioned himself against the armrest of the couch and sat you on his lap like Light wanted. You could feel his stiff length poking against your ass as you did.
Once you were in place, Light leaned forward again and hooked his index fingers over the waistband of your pants. He pulled them down with your panties, leaving you exposed on top of L.
"Spread your legs, baby. I wanna see if you're ready," he said softly.
You obeyed and opened your thighs for him. L's hands dipped in and stroked the smooth skin on your inner legs, causing your cheeks to fill with heat again. Even though both men had seen you naked and felt every part of your body before, both of them doing it together was different.
Light's eyes trailed down your figure before landing on your center. They stared at the wetness gathered there, trying to judge if you could take them.
"Who knew you were so greedy? Almost soaked through your panties at the thought of two cocks at the same time," he mocked.
"At the same time?" you repeated. You knew you asked to be shared, but you didn't think he'd take it so literally.
"Mhm. You want us both, don't you? How else did you think this would work?" he smirked.
"I don't know. I thought you guys would like take turns or be on different sides or something..." you explained.
"No. If you want both, you're gonna really take both," he responded.
Shaking his head, he stood up and pulled his shirt off. L did the same behind you, letting it fall to the flood next to the couch. From there, Light unbuttoned his pants and let them crumple to the floor. He didn't show any awkwardness about revealing his body in front of another guy.
"Do you want your shirt off?" L asked, kissing the space behind your ear.
You nodded, and the both of you peeled it off your upper body before discarding it with his.
Light palmed himself over his boxers before sliding those down as well and letting his dick spring free. He gave his shaft a few lazy strokes while gazing at you. Below your body, L worked on pushing his jeans off and freeing himself from the confines of his pants.
"Think I'll let Ryuzaki have you first, and then I'll slide in too. I wanna see if you take him like you take me," he said.
L's dark eyes stared up at the other man. He didn't want to take orders from him, but then again, he couldn't really complain about the sentiment.
"Are you good with that?" Light asked, cocking his head while looking down at the man behind you.
"Why wouldn't I be?" he responded.
His arm wrapped around your waist, reaching down between your legs to rub at your clit a few more times.
"Are you ready, sweetheart?" he murmured to you in a much softer tone.
With nervous eyes, you nodded. You pressed your lips to his for a few more soft kisses. While you were occupied, he took the chance to adjust his position and line himself up between your legs. You felt the swollen head brush your entrance. The tip slid up through your folds, feeling your wetness before dragging back down.
Your heart pounded in your chest. This was really going to happen.
And then it did. He boosted his hips the slightest bit and popped it in. You whined as your walls fluttered, embracing his familiar length with ease.
He grunted and pushed forward. Slowly, his shaft entered you, sliding forward until he bottomed out. You let your head fall back onto his shoulder where you could nuzzle into his neck. His hands swept up over your curves and kneaded your malleable flesh.
Light watched from the same position, stroking himself as he watched someone else have you in a way he thought would forever only be for him.
"Does that feel good?" he breathed, "Does he know how to do it right? Just how you like it?"
A soft whimper puffed from your lips before you gave him a shy nod. L did know all the things you liked by now. He knew the perfect angle to rock his hips at and what speed you preferred. He knew how to make your mind melt out your ears by suckling on your pulse point. He knew all the dirty things to whisper in your ear that made you tighten up on him like a vise.
Light continued to observe. His eyes scanned over how L's hips began pumping into you. How his hands cradled your legs behind the knees. He listened for every wet squelch his cock brought out of you. Every hitched breath and whiny crack in your voice.
His length throbbed at the sight. It was the most fucked-up, perverse sense of pleasure he'd ever felt. It made him sick with lust. His hands trembled with the urge to reach out and interrupt, but he made himself wait.
He let L have a little more time with you. The other man sighed, nestling his face in the crook of your neck as he enjoyed the hot, tight euphoria wrapped around his cock.
Your eyes had fluttered shut after a few good nudges to your sweet spot. You lay against his chest, held up by his arms, totally pliable. Though even in your hazy state, you could feel Light's eyes bearing down on you, examining your every move.
But despite feeling his presence, it still sent a shockwave through you when he brushed the tip of his cock against your clit.
Your back arched off of the man beneath you as a sharp whine burst from your mouth. Smearing his sticky precum over your pulsing bud, he dragged the flushed end of his length back and forth. He moved at a slower pace than L. His movements only intended to tease you, not cause any true pleasure.
"L-Light," you moaned. You squirmed your hips, trying to entice him into giving you more.
His lips curled into a small smirk. "Hold still, babe," he chided, "I know patience isn't your strong suit, but you can wait a little more."
Whining again, you gyrated your hips a few more times. L groaned at the added stimulation; the motions worked your walls around him just right. He rutted up into you with more force, which only drew more noises from you.
Light took a deep breath, working himself up. He reached forward and grabbed your calves with precise fingers. His touch was gentle but calculated like it always was. Even in what was supposed to be the heat of passion, he made sure things played out according to his plans.
One of his hands dropped to guide his cock down to your entrance. A quiet moan escaped him as L's shaft brushed his sensitive ridge. He shuddered, but he didn't back away. He pushed with more intention and watched as you started to split open around him too.
A gasp tore through you. Your pussy burned as it struggled to take both of them. You writhed desperately, trying to find a position of reprieve. L came to a stop inside you and adjusted to hold onto your hips to keep you in place.
"Shhh, you're doing so good," he cooed while his digits rubbed small circles into your skin, "You can take it."
Light's jaw clenched as he ground his teeth. His breaths became more labored as he worked himself in all the way. It was so fucking tight. The feeling of L's dick pressed up against his own was also something he'd never felt before, but something he found himself really really liking.
"You wanted us to share," he grunted, "This is how it feels."
After a few moments, you started to settle again. Four sets of fingers coasted across your body, leaving little chills in their wake. The stretch between your thighs still stung, but pleasure began overriding it as L started moving again.
He thrust a few times, letting you get used to the sensation again. Then Light worked his hips back and forth. Your toes curled, and your breaths puffed out with broken whines in between.
Both of them found a rhythm that worked in tandem with the other. Grunts, groans, and sighs echoed all around you. Every inch of your body was in contact with one of them. Your head spun from the total overstimulation along with the ecstasy burning in the pit of your belly.
"Fuck... so much... feels like so much..." you babbled.
"Yeah? A little whore like you was made for it though," Light mocked.
Your eyes rolled back and you gushed around him. The words shot through with flaring sparks of bliss. In the past, Light could get a little bold with you sometimes, but never like that. He could see the effect his tone had on you, but he didn't make any move to lessen it. He only fucked into you harder.
"You're so pretty," L added from behind your ear, "You're being such a good girl for us."
With Light now holding your legs, he moved his hands to toy with your breasts again. He pinches and tweaks your nipples, getting you to recreate those cute little squirms from before.
"So fucking needy," Light taunted, "Can't even hold still."
"It's not my fault," you pouted.
L chuckled and kissed your ear, continuing to play with the tender nubs on your chest.
"It's alright, sweetheart. Feels good when you move like that," he soothed.
Another whiny sound of need flowed from your lips before you melted back against the man behind you. Coherent thoughts could no longer form in your head. Not when you felt so full. So fucking stretched to the limit.
Light could see you fading. He pumped himself in harder, his balls swinging and brushing against the base of L's cock. His rich eyes watched the man below you. He took in his slight changes in expression when you clamped around them. He noted how his eyes softened when you let out a little squeak.
After a few moments of his staring, L finally looked up at Light. He could tell he had something to say from the intensity in his gaze
"I thought you said we were friends," Light grunted, "Do friends fuck their friend's girlfriend behind his back?"
"I didn't lie. If I didn't consider you my friend, I wouldn't have hesitated to take her all for myself," L answered, calm in spite of the situation.
Your boyfriend's glare hardened, but a fire burned within him. He wasn't sure what it was. The carelessness? The challenge? He couldn't pinpoint it, yet something about what L said worked him closer to the edge. He felt the coils of release constricting within him.
His focus shifted to you. He saw the way your head bobbled around as though you weren't even conscious. Reaching out, he grabbed your face. Your cheeks squished under the pressure of his fingertips, and your glossy eyes opened again.
"Sluts don't get to pass out, baby. Keep those pretty eyes open. Want you looking at me when you lose it," he said.
"Sorry..." you hummed as you came back to reality.
L's hands hadn't stopped groping at your tits. After Light finished talking, he swooped in with his gentler voice.
"Are you getting close? You gonna cum all over both of us?"
You mewled and nodded, harsh breaths leaving you. Seeing how eager you are, Light's hand released your jaw and found your cunt instead. His fingers roughly rubbed at your clit, ripping more cries out of you. He spit down onto your already soaked folds.
"Let go then," he directed, "Cum for us. Let's see you finish."
His commanding words struck you and spurred you onward towards the finish line. Your hips bucked as your body quivered with the need to explode.
You finally found release when both of them thrust in unison, striking the right spots to throw you over the edge. Your body rolled with the waves of pleasure crashing over you. You could feel their hands still on you. Their palms rubbed while their fingers caressed and teased you through it. Both of their breathing became stilted as you squeezed around them impossibly tight.
L was the first to let go and allow himself to ride out the high with you. He spilled himself inside you with a few jerks of his hips and a whine erupting from his mouth. Burying his face against your throat, his arms encircled you tight.
Light kept thrusting, working you both through it. He hit his own high as you both began to come down from yours. A strangled groan fell from his lips. He tilted his head back before leaning forward and collapsing into your chest. His hips rutted forward, pumping the last of his spend into you.
It was a little difficult with Light's added weight on top of you, but L managed to wriggle his hips and pull himself out. As soon as his length popped out, you felt the stinging subside almost instantly. A dull ache replaced it. You didn't imagine walking anywhere far for at least the next twenty-four hours. Their shared loads leaked from you, seeping out around your boyfriend's softening length.
L was the most lucid of the three of you. With care, he shifted his position and held you against his chest from the side. Light still lied with his head over your pounding heart. Eventually, he eased his cock out of you. He didn't worry about the mess right now. You all could clean up in a little bit.
He turned his head to look up at you. His eyes met yours, and for the first time since he found out, he looked more hurt than anything else. You studied the expression before stroking his cheek and planting a tender peck on his lips.
"I'm sorry," you whispered.
He didn't say anything back. Instead, he closed the centimeter gap again and kissed you once more. The few seconds your lips were connected could feel like none of this mess was real. When your skin was on his, it was just you and him.
Your fingers threaded into his soft hair as L's digits rubbed your back. He sighed at the gentle touch, allowing himself to enjoy it for a few moments before he rose and leaned back.
Rubbing a hand over his face, he looked at the two of you.
"So... you really want to try and just... do this? Until we find Kira?" he asked.
"If it's ok with you..." you replied. You half expected him to laugh in your face before walking out. But he doesn't do anything so bitter.
He nodded. Worse than anything else, you could see on his face he really did intend on trying. He was going to try his hardest at this for you.
You reached forward and took his hand, guiding him closer to you again. "We can figure it out as we go. And then when we're done, we can all decide what to do together," you offered. You glanced up at L to make sure he was ok with that too, but the quick nod he gave you told you he was.
"Alright," Light agreed.
As a seal, you gave them each a soft kiss before smiling a little. Once you began to settle back in and grabbed the remote to change what played on the tv, both men's eyes found each other's in a silent, temporary truce.
Then Light looked to you again.
"Maybe you'd wanna play that game again?" he suggested, trying not to seem too soft about it.
Your eyes lit up, and you straightened out a little. "That would be so fun. Maybe you guys will be more relaxed about it this time," you teased.
He rolled his eyes and shook his head but didn't protest too much.
"You could try out that thing I told you with the shell. Maybe you'll win this time around," L added to Light as you got up to fix your clothes and start up the game.
"Maybe. You can't finish first every time, you know," he responded.
They both settled back into the couch after readjusting their own clothing. The familiar music started up on the tv as you handed them both controllers. Even though the situation between the three of you wasn't completely resolved, for the first time in months, you didn't feel the weight of secrecy across your shoulders.
#divider by cafekitsune#light yagami x reader#light yagami smut#light yagami x you#l lawliet x reader#l lawliet x you#l lawliet smut#death note smut#death note x reader#death note x you#ch: l lawliet 💌#ch: light yagami 💌
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Hold You Tight: Part 22

Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.
Part 21 | Series Masterlist | Part 23
Chapter Word Count: Over 3.8k
Chapter Summary: Bucky decides to take you to the club where you have a chat with Natasha.
Chapter Warnings: Aftermath of physical assault, tension, mention of violence and threats, inner turmoil, crying, kissing, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.
A/N: More Hold You Tight. Thank you again for sticking with me! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-in-darkness . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Silence stretched on as Bucky glared at his phone, and you felt uncomfortable with each second that passed. You managed to steal a glance at Curtis who gave a quick shake of the head in response. You sensed he wasn’t about to interrupt whatever thoughts were going through his boss’s mind, but you couldn’t take it.
“What are you going to do?” you asked.
He considered your question with a barely there smile. “I’m going to ignore him.”
You exchanged another look with Curtis who only shook his head again. “Is that a good idea?” you asked.
“I need to talk with the bastard who touched you before I talk to him,” he said. He was out for blood, but he was still thinking somewhat logically. If he spoke to him now, who knew how that would go? “I also want him to squirm.”
Of course, he did. “Should we call Natasha? Because I know you don’t want me to be alone while you… deal with that.”
“No, I don’t,” he confirmed, dialing and putting it on speakerphone.
It didn’t take long for her to answer. “Wasn’t expecting to hear from you, Barnes. Did you upset your girl again? Because whatever happened, I’m likely going to be on her side.”
Curtis snorted before Bucky shot him a glare. “My girl was attacked,” he growled.
You put a hand on his arm. The last thing he needed to do was get worked up. “Is she okay? What the hell happened?” Natasha asked, all traces of her previous sarcasm gone. Her concern was touching. “And who the hell did it?”
“I’m okay,” you assured her. “Well, I’m as okay as I can be,” you added because you weren’t completely okay. No one in your position would be.
“I’ve got the bastard at my club, and I’m going to have a very long talk with him,” he said, fire in his eyes when he looked at you. “No one touches you and gets away with it.”
Except for Bucky himself.
“If she’s okay and you have the guy, why are you calling me? I can’t imagine it’s because you want me to get a hit in, though I wouldn’t mind.”
Bucky smirked. “I know you wouldn’t, but I need you to come to the club and keep an eye on my girl while I handle it,” he said. You knew an order when you heard one. You also figured Bucky didn’t want Natasha alone with you in the penthouse. There was trust between them, but only to an extent.
“You’re really bringing her there?” she asked, muttering something under her breath that you couldn’t catch. “Jesus, you’re not going to make her watch are you?”
You shuddered. A very small fraction of you wanted to witness it and maybe hurt Clark yourself for what he did, but the core of who you were held you back. You weren’t holding Bucky though, were you? You knew whatever happened to Clark wasn’t going to end well, and were you any better than Bucky by letting him dispense his own brand of justice?
Guilt was going to stain your soul and you wanted to desperately wash it away.
“No, she’s going to rest in my office, but I’d rather she not be alone given the circumstances and she suggested that you stay with her,” he said.
“Please,” you said.
“Kotyonok, you don’t have to say please,” Bucky said.
“No, but you should. She isn’t a soldier for you to order around, so use your manners,” you argued, seeing a smile tug at Curtis’s lips. “I understand if you can’t, Natasha,” you said to her. She couldn’t drop everything to watch over you.
“I need to wrap up one thing and I’ll head over if Bucky says ‘please’,” she said after a moment.
Bucky exhaled through his nose when you sweetly smiled. “Will you please watch over my girl?”
“Of course,” she answered easily.
You visibly relaxed. “Thanks.” You weren’t sure how many of the details you’d give her about what happened, but you could ask her about the self-defense lessons.
“Us girls have to stick together,” she said. You suspected she was smiling. “And so you’re aware, Barnes, I’m doing this for her, not you.”
“I know. Just be there,” Bucky said, hanging up without another word.
Curtis assessed you with a cool gaze before he smiled. “You’re sweet, but you’re a little badass, too,” he commented, crossing his arms and turning that cool gaze toward his boss. “I’m really going to enjoy those brownies.”
An arm snaked around your waist before you could respond that you were anything but a badass. “Those brownies are the only thing of hers you’re going to taste because she’s mine,” Bucky said in a low voice.
Heat shot up your neck to your cheeks. “Oh, my god. You’re like a well-dressed caveman, I swear,” you said, pulling away. You hoped Bucky wouldn’t fire Curtis after tonight. “Do you have something I can change into before we go?”
The amusement faded from Curtis’s eyes when he looked at the tear in your cardigan. He looked almost as upset as Bucky. “Yeah, I have a few things,” Bucky answered, leading you down the hall. “Get the car started, and bring her water and a snack with you,” he said over his shoulder.
“Please,” you added, rubbing your temple. “Manners cost nothing.”
“I use manners with you, don’t I?” he teased before he stopped you at the bedroom door. “How’s your head?”
“Hurts a little,” you admitted, seeing his lips set in a grim line. He kissed your forehead a heartbeat later, his lips tenderly brushing your skin. “I wish that took the pain away.”
You weren’t just talking about the headache. You wished he could really be your knight in shining armor who made the hurt stop. He caused so much of this pain, but he still showed up when you were in need. Was he going to help you heal or tear the wounds back open?
“I wish it did, too,” he whispered, letting you go ahead of him. “Closet’s on the right. I can have you take something for your head once we’re in the car.”
You searched for the light and gasped once you turned it on. It was one of the biggest closets you had ever seen, complete with built in shelves and a seating area. The left side was filled with suits, shoes, and more for Bucky. The right side was only half full with dresses and various outfits. There were a few pairs of shoes and handbags, too. You didn’t have to look to know that everything was in your size.
“When did you do this?” you asked, turning around to face him. You expected him to breathe down your neck, but he kept a respectable distance.
“Early on,” he said, tilting his head. “You look surprised.”
“I knew you had pajamas here for me, but I didn't expect more. Thank you,” you said. You weren't sure why you were surprised. He told you countless times you’d be moving in. “If you had clothes for me, why ask if I wanted a whole new wardrobe?”
“Because there's still lots of space to fill up,” he pointed out.
“You said part of the fun of gift giving is surprising the receiver.”
“And you said part of the fun of shopping is picking out your own stuff. You specifically said the next time we went shopping that you wanted to pick everything yourself.”
You ran your fingers along one of the dresses, wanting to be angry as you remembered the incident at the shop. You couldn't find the anger within. There was… something else there instead. “So you listened to me?”
“I always listen to you,” he replied.
“No, you don't, but I do believe you hear every word I say,” you said. There was a big difference between hearing and listening.
He sighed and took your hand. “I’m trying, Kotyonok.”
“I know, Bucky,” you smiled sadly. Bucky was used to being in charge, used to everyone following his orders. You pushed back, challenged him. It had to be foreign territory for him, as much as he said he liked your fire. “And I appreciate it.”
He took a few steps closer when you went to pick a new outfit for yourself. “This really isn’t how I wanted you to be here.”
“What was your plan if I refused to move in?” you asked, not looking at him as you went through the drawers. There was more jewelry for you, too. Between the library and this, he wasn’t kidding about spoiling you.
“I’m sure you remember that Thor and Sam invest in real estate,” he said. You hummed in acknowledgement. “I would’ve had the building bought and forced you out of your place.”
You laughed, a small and sad sound. It wasn’t a shock since it was implied that they were aware of your neighborhood and were interested in a possible investment. Hearing Bucky admit it though, not even bothering to lie or sound ashamed... “You would’ve forced me out of there just to get what you want?”
“What we want. Love and happiness. Together,” he said with fierce determination that bordered on his usual obsession.
Your nails dug into your palms, but only for a moment. “Turn around or leave, please, so I can change,” you said, too emotionally exhausted to deny or argue since love and happiness were things you wanted and he knew it.
“Do you think I’m going to try something?” he asked, sounding hurt.
“I think we're both feeling a lot of emotions, you desperately want me, and your control is hanging on by a thread,” you replied, daring to look at him. There was so much longing in his eyes and his fingers twitched like he wanted to touch you, whether it was to leave his mark or erase Clark’s touch. “And we know that line shouldn’t be crossed tonight.”
He was going to take you to bed eventually. Coaxing you or wearing you down, it was inevitable. He wouldn’t do it tonight though. Not when he wanted revenge on Clark and still needed answers.
It didn't stop him from looking conflicted when he nodded. “I’ll be right outside,” he said, leaving you alone.
Once you determined he wasn’t going to walk back in, you stripped down. The urge to scream rose up when you stared at the discarded cardigan. It was meant to keep you warm, but all you could do was shiver when you thought of your friends at the winery and Clark putting his hands on you. Wiping at your eyes, you threw something simple and comfortable on. You couldn’t keep Bucky waiting.
Bucky stood right beside the door as you walked out, his jaw tight. He must’ve noticed you had gotten teary-eyed again. “You’re breaking my heart,” he whispered, reaching for your hand. “I know what happened isn’t going to fade overnight, but I’ll make you feel safe again. I’ll make you smile, too.”
“You’re a determined man,” you said. In some ways, you felt a little safer. Your library and panic room were safe. He was going to get you a panic button. Ray and Curtis had an eye on you. You had a feeling Bucky wouldn't let you stray too far away from him for a while.
As far as him making you smile, you wondered how he planned to do that.
You didn’t speak when Bucky took you to the car, silently drinking and eating while he stayed tense beside you. Curtis didn't say a word either. Your stomach turned, but it had nothing to do with your head. There was tension in the vehicle, each passing second bringing Bucky closer to unleashing his rage on someone who dared to hurt you.
“What would your mom have done if someone put a hand on you?” you finally asked to break the silence.
“She would've been compassionate but firm. Protective but encourage me to speak up and defend myself. And she would've made sure that person never laid a finger on me ever again,” he said proudly.
Your heart ached as you thought of your parents. They’d never know what happened to you because they’d never bother to ask how you were doing and you’d never bother to tell them because they wouldn't fight for you. Brick by brick it was another wall you put up. Bucky continued to hand you the tools to build it, all while tearing down the wall you tried to put between you and him.
“I want to do something normal tomorrow,” you said, voluntarily resting your head on Bucky’s shoulder. The gesture helped him relax. You, too. “Something besides resting.”
“How about that pizza and a movie date night we talked about?” he suggested, tenderly rubbing your arm. “That’s normal.”
“Can I pick the movie?”
“You can pick whatever movie you want,” he promised.
You lifted your head to gaze at him. “I know I can’t stop you from doing whatever it is you’re going to do,” you began. There would be no reasoning with him in that matter. “But how can I help you after?”
He tried not to give anything away, but his eyes filled with shock. “You… want to help me?”
“I don’t know what kind of mood you’ll be in once you’re done. I don’t know if you’ll want attention and be clingy or if you’ll want to be alone so you can cool off. So when it’s said and done, please, tell me what you need so I can give it to you to the best of my ability,” you answered.
You were tired of walking on eggshells. You wouldn't do it in your new home. If you were going to be with him, you had to know how to handle him after something of this magnitude.
You heard him sigh before his lips touched yours. “I just need you,” he whispered, your heart fluttering when he kissed you again, deeper. It wasn’t forceful though. It was slow and deliberate without pushing or taking too much. He didn’t try to pull you back in either when you pulled away. That was progress.
“We’re here,” Curtis said.
“I’m going to help you after this, too, however I can,” he promised, brushing a soft kiss against your lips and helping you out of the car.
Who knew this incident was something that would bring you closer together?
You spotted Natasha leaning against a sleek black car with a bored look on her face. “How did I beat you here?” she asked before locking eyes with you. There was sympathy and concern there. “This wasn’t how I wanted to see you again.”
“The feeling’s mutual,” you said, glancing at the sign for the club. It was strange not seeing it lit up.
“Let’s get inside,” Bucky ordered, giving you a slight smile. “Please.”
Natasha brushed by Curtis. “Everett.”
“Romanoff,” he acknowledged.
There was no bass reverberating through the walls, no signs of patrons drinking and dancing. No Hal at the bar or Jax or Ari keeping watch. The usual energy of nightlife and sex and fun were nowhere to be found. Minus the footsteps across the floor, there was no other sound.
“Ray,” you whispered when he came through a door. He looked as pristine as always, but the hard blinks gave away his agitation.
“Everyone’s downstairs, boss,” he said, pushing his glasses up. “Are you alright?” he asked you, his voice much softer.
Bucky’s hold tightened on you once again. You were really going to have to work on his possessive streak, especially when it came to his own men. “I’m as okay as I can be,” you said, giving him a small smile.
“Let me take her up to the office and I’ll be right down,” Bucky said.
When you imagined the look of a killer, you imagined something lifeless and empty. Bucky’s eyes were always full of fire and passion when it came to you. But the cold look that crossed his face when he walked you to his office, you saw a glimpse of the danger he spoke about. Clark wasn’t going to get any mercy or care from Bucky.
“The couch is pretty comfortable to sleep on and there’s a fridge and some food, too, if you’re still hungry,” he said, grabbing a pillow and blanket that he had stashed away. “If you need me, push the red button on the right side of my desk.”
“I think I'll be okay,” you said, taking a seat on the couch while Natasha took one of the chairs.
Bucky tipped your chin up. “I don’t know how long I’ll be, but try to get some rest,” he said, leaning down. You expected a kiss, but he just brushed his nose against yours. “And I know you can’t say you love me yet, but just know that I love you and this is all for you.”
You exhaled when he straightened up. Was it all for you? “Please, be careful and don’t lose yourself,” you said. Whatever demon was going to surface within Bucky tonight couldn’t permanently stay because it would destroy you both if it did.
“I won’t lose myself.” The smile he gave you could’ve melted hearts. “I have you to come back to.”
With that, Bucky left the office and shut the door behind him.
“Well,” Natasha said, leaning forward in her chair. “I have a feeling you won’t be going to sleep right away.”
“No, I won’t,” you agreed. You couldn’t since your mind was racing with too many thoughts of what happened and what would happen.
“You don’t have to say a word,” she assured you. “If you do want to talk about what happened though, I’ll listen.”
You told her everything. How Clark used to come into the shop for roses for Lois. How he tried to give you flowers and showed up when you weren’t at the shop. How upset he was when you turned down his offer for coffee and how he was waiting for you tonight. The hatred he seemed to have for Bucky, the mention of a powerful friend, that he didn’t confirm or deny that it was Zemo. What he did once he was in your apartment, Bucky and some of his men saving you. All of it. And by the time you finished, you were sniffling and exhausted.
Natasha, looking as cool and calm as always, handed you a tissue. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. You don’t deserve it.”
You blew your nose. “No one deserves it,” you said. It wasn’t something you’d wish on anyone.
“If you need a place a stay-”
“I’m in the penthouse now, which is exactly what Bucky wanted all along,” you said, and you believed Bucky when he said it wasn’t how you were supposed to eventually be there. “I appreciate the offer though.”
“Okay. I’ll back off for now.” She tapped a finger against the chair arm. “May I say something else?”
“I won’t stop you.”
“The powerful friend of Clark’s may be Zemo, but I don’t think he would’ve ordered him to attack you the way he did. If you had resisted going with Clark and it was really on Zemo’s orders, he should’ve backed off instead of laying a hand on you.”
“But Zemo lost his wife and kid. Maybe he wouldn’t care if I got hurt,” you said. Losing loved ones like that could drive people to do extreme things.
“He’s more strategic than that and he knows someone hurting you could start a war,” she said, shaking her head. If that was true and Clark took matters into his own hands, what did that mean for Zemo? “Something isn’t adding up here. We have to talk to Barnes when he’s done.”
Your fingers twisted in the blanket. The entire situation was so much to take in. “Am I a bad person for not stopping Bucky?” you asked suddenly.
“What? No. No.” She straightened up and shook her head. “Don't do that to yourself.”
“But I know he’s going to hurt Clark. Maybe kill him. And I-”
“You’re not a bad person, do you hear me?” Natasha left her chair to sit near you, but kept a distance and made sure she didn’t touch you. “Listen to me. Clark crossed boundaries and attacked you. Barnes crossed boundaries, too, but he never once went to that level. Even if a part of you does want revenge it doesn't make you a bad person. Wanting justice makes you human.”
“But Bucky’s making his own brand of justice.”
“They have their own rules when it comes to what's theirs and someone put their hands on the top dog’s girl. He can't let that slide. None of those men can,” she said.
That was the world you lived in now. “So, even though you believe I have power over Bucky, I couldn't have stopped him if I tried?” you asked.
“As powerful as you are, even if you got down on your knees and begged, it wouldn't stop him from doing what he thinks he has to do in this situation,” the redhead answered. You were afraid of that. “But you don't have to carry that guilt. Their actions, Clark’s, Bucky’s, any of them, they chose those paths. Not you.”
“Thank you,” you whispered, dabbing at your eyes with a fresh tissue. “Sorry for crying.”
“After everything you’ve been through, it would worry me if you didn’t cry.”
You had to laugh since she had a point. “I told Bucky I want to be able to defend myself in case anything happens again. I’d really like it if you could teach me.”
You didn’t have to tell her that you didn’t want a man teaching you. She was smart, intuitive. “I’d love to teach you. Just tell me when you want to start and I’ll make it happen,” she said, sighing when her phone went off. “I’m sorry. It’s my sister.”
“Take it,” you said. She had already done enough by listening to you and agreeing to the self-defense lessons.
“Yelena, I’m kind of busy at the moment,” she answered, gripping her phone tighter. “He’s what?”
“What’s the matter?” you asked, though it was none of your business.
Natasha pulled the phone away from her ear. “My sister’s a block away from the club. Want to take a guess who she’s following?”
“Zemo?” you guessed, your stomach sinking again. Was he coming here because Bucky ignored his message?
“Yep, but don’t worry. She’ll make sure he doesn’t make it inside.”
Whether Zemo got into the club or not, you were going to get answers. It was the least you deserved. Because this was your life, and you were tired of people playing with it like you were a doll.
I'm so glad Natasha is there for our girl. Is she onto something with Zemo? And we may get a surprise in the next update. 😏 Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
#navybrat writes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes#club owner!bucky barnes#club owner!bucky barnes x reader#soft!dark bucky barnes#dark!bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes au#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#bucky x you#the winter soldier#bucky fanfic#bucky imagine#x reader#hold you tight#hyt#turn it up au
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the intern | pjs



synopsis: in which your constant belittling finally pushes your obedient intern too far and he decides it's time someone puts you in your place.
genre: office au
pairing: intern!jay x boss!reader
warnings: bossy!reader, bratty!reader, mean dom! jay, dubcon/noncon, forced submission, spanking, fingering, slapping, hair pulling, oral (m.rec), light breath play, rough and unprotected p in v, light choking? (i think that's it...) this fic is filthy, like so fucking filthy.
wc: 6.7k
a/n: ikik intern didn’t win the poll but i still wanted to write it as a little thank you for 1000 followers!! smth about mean dom jay and bratty reader just tickles my goddamn pickle. anyways, i am officially done with school!! that means more updates ayeeee!!! i start school early may tho so what am i rlly celebrating for.. anyways! notes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated. enjoy reading!!
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jay could feel his self restraint falling thin, his eyes glaring holes into the stack of papers in front of him.
he began to question if the internship was even worth it after the way you had been treating him for the last few months.
at first you were just cold, never acknowledging his presence and treating him like a nuisance rather than a human being. but then things took a turn for the worse, you had made him into your very own stress relief dummy.
taking out your frustration and anger on him whenever someone had pissed you off. someone mess up the reports that day? jay took the fall. presentations not prepared? jay took the fall. traffic on the way to work? jay took the fall.
you embarrassed him consistently, degrading and belittling him whenever you could. just take this morning for example.
the office buzzed with low conversations as the team gathered in the glass-walled conference room for the weekly status meeting.
jay sat near the front, his pulse quickening as he arranged his notes in an effort to keep his composure. today, the stakes felt even higher—he needed to impress, to prove that his dedication was more than just blind obedience. in a few weeks from now you'd be deciding who stays and gets the permanent position and who doesn't—he needed to impress you.
you swept into the room with an air of undeniable authority. clad in a sharply tailored blazer and high heels that echoed on the polished floor, you commanded every gaze without uttering a word. even before the meeting began, your presence shifted the atmosphere, the tension around you palpable.
jay swallowed harshly, his gaze scanning over your form as you step into the room. you were gorgeous, he'd give you that—but your attitude was foul. his eyes dropping to his files as he begins to mentally prepare himself for the presentation to commence.
he feels his heart drop when he realizes that the one file he so desperately needed, wasn't on the pile he had brought. jay's hands begin to shake, shuffling through the pile of files again as he hopes that it would magically appear in front of him.
he scans the large conference room table, turning to the person next to him to ask if they had seen the file.
as you took your seat at the head of the table, your eyes briefly scanned the room before landing on jay. a slow, knowing smile curled on your lips, as if you had been waiting for this moment. the meeting kicked off with a routine overview, but it wasn't long before you steered the conversation to the pending report—the one that jay was responsible for.
you fixed your gaze on jay, your tone unexpectedly sweet yet laced with a biting edge. "intern park," you began, deliberately using his given name for effect, "what exactly about 'don't speak unless spoken to' is confusing you? or do you just enjoy hearing your own voice?"
a collective murmur rippled through the room. jay's face turned a shade of crimson. he tightened his grip on his folder, his thoughts jumbling as his cheeks burned with humiliation. every eye was now on him, and he felt the weight of public scrutiny crushing his usual determination.
he stammered, his voice barely above a whisper, "i—i'm sorry, i thought i had the data compiled..."
your eyes hardened, and you leaned forward, relishing the control. "thought? no, mr.park. you should have it. if you want to be useful here, you need to step up and stop hovering like a lost puppy around every minor detail." your words sliced through the silence, leaving no room for rebuttal.
the room was silent apart from the steady hum of the air conditioner and the clatter of pens against paper. jay's pulse pounded in his ears as he felt his confidence slip further with each of your calculated remarks. he could hear his internal monologue screaming for an escape, a defiant retort—but the fear of tarnishing his only shot at this internship kept his words locked away.
you weren't done. with a casual yet deliberate gesture, you waved a hand toward the clock on the wall. "i expected that report on my desk an hour ago. now, if you've managed to forget the basics of professional competence, perhaps it's time you rethink your priorities and career choices."
the finality in your tone silenced any remaining murmurs. jay's stomach churned with a mix of humiliation and a rising spark of anger—an emotion so raw that it blurred the line between submission and rebellion. the embarrassment stung, yet something deep within him shifted. in that charged moment, surrounded by his colleagues and under your steely gaze, jay realized that this wasn't just about a report or an internship. it was about reclaiming his dignity.
even as he forced a meek nod of submission to placate your immediate anger, a quiet promise echoed through his thoughts: one day, he would stand tall and show you that he was more than a pawn in your relentless pursuit of power.
as the meeting continued, the memory of your cutting words and his silent, seething response—hung in the air.
he clenches his fists as he holds in the urge to pull push the stacks of files off of his desk, his chest heaving heavily as he closed his eyes in attempt to soothe himself.
jay had been sorting through files for the remainder of the day after the meeting, per your orders.
the afternoon was unusually quiet in the office as you strolled into the small workspace where jay was already at his desk, meticulously organizing a stack of papers. he glanced up nervously as you passed, well aware that your mood this afternoon was as crisp as your tailored suit. all because of him, of course.
you held a cup of coffee in your hand, the same cup that he had left on your desk just a few minutes earlier.
leaning over his cubicle, you tilted your head slightly and said in a tone that angered him to his core, "did i stutter, jay? i said triple shot, not double. i expect my coffee precise, or should i send you to a barista school?" your words dripped with condescension, making it clear that he was the reason that your morning was ruined.
jay immediately got up from his seat, rushing to the break room with you trailing closely behind.
you scoff, pathetic.
jay's cheeks flushed as he fumbled with the coffee machine, trying to follow your instructions to the letter. he hurriedly adjusted the settings, his fingers trembling just a bit. you crossed your arms and eyed his work like a hawk. when the machine finally hissed to a stop with the coffee ready, you took a sip and pursed your lips in disdain.
"this is unacceptable," you snapped, your voice low but sharp. "i expect perfection every single time. if you can't handle the basics, perhaps you need a refresher on how to follow orders." the words hung in the air as jay's eyes flickered with a mixture of fear and determination.
you turn away, walking back to his desk with jay following behind you like a lost puppy.
not stopping there, you swept past his desk and reached for a stack of files on a nearby table. with deliberate precision, you began rearranging them into neat, color-coded piles. every so often you'd glance back at jay, as if to remind him that even the simplest task had to meet your impossible standards.
"watch closely, jay," you ordered, turning back to him. "i want these files not only sorted but aligned perfectly. each folder must be exactly centered—no, better than that, flush against the left margin. can you manage that, or is that too much to ask?" your tone was both patronizing and commanding, a mix that left no room for negotiation.
jay nodded, swallowing hard. he scrambled to adjust the folders, his hands moving with a jittery urgency that mirrored the pounding of his heart. every minor hesitation was met with your sharp retort, your authority was over powering in this small corner of the office.
"if you think today's just another day to clock in and float through tasks, think again," you continued, your eyes narrowing as you circled back to his workstation. "i'm watching every move you make. understand that every detail matters, jay. perfection is not just expected, it's demanded."
the air in the workspace grew thick with tension as jay worked to correct his mistakes, each precise movement a testament to his desperate need to earn your approval. while other interns might have been emboldened or defiant, jay's focus remained solely on survival—on not letting you see even a hint of weakness.
as you finally stepped away, satisfied that the files were in proper order for now, you delivered one last cold remark over your shoulder, "good. now, i expect you to handle the rest of today without any more room for error." your voice trailed off, leaving jay alone with the echo of your words and the heavy burden of your expectations.
just as you begin to leave, you pause in your tracks—a smirk gracing your painted lips. "oh, and i want all my files sorted. you're not leaving till it's all done."
and that's how jay found himself sorting and organizing files, greeting his fellow colleges goodbye as he stayed back to finish his work. it was well past the end of his shift, the clock reading 11:04pm as he continued to sort endlessly.
only jay and you remained on the office, with you tucked away in your office typing away who knows what on your computer and jay outside getting paper cut after paper cut.
he could still hear your voice from earlier looming in his head—sweet, sharp, venom-laced in a way only you could pull off. mocking him, embarrassing him in front of the entire team. and now here you were again, heels echoing through the empty office as you strutted out of your office like you hadn't just made him stay hours past his shift for a task that could've waited until tomorrow.
"still here?" your tone was laced with faux innocence—leaning against his desk, arms crossed under your chest. "wow. and here i thought even you would've figured out how to sort a couple files by now. guess i gave you too much credit."
jay didn't look up. didn't speak. his jaw flexed once, twice, like he was chewing on his own patience.
you smiled, pleased with the reaction. "what exactly are you good at, jay? because it sure as hell isn't multitasking. or presenting. or getting coffee. i'm starting to wonder if your daddy pulled strings just to get you here. must be nice, huh? riding in on privilege and still failing."
that was it.
jay stood, slowly, the chair scraping harshly behind him as he pushed it back. his hands were planted on the desk, knuckles white, head still lowered. when he finally looked at you, there was something in his eyes that hadn't been there before. something dangerous. something done.
you opened your mouth to say something else, some cruel remark—but it never made it out.
"shut up," jay muttered, voice low and rough.
your brows lifted, stunned at his words" excuse me?"
jay had never dared talk back to you, taking every word, every complaint, every diss, wordlessly. jay stepped around the desk and you instinctively backed up. the smirk that had been on your face seconds ago beginning to falter.
"you've been treating me like shit for months," he said, walking you backward with each slow, measured step. "and i took it. every order. every insult. every little power trip of yours. because i thought i needed this job. i thought i needed you."
your back hit the edge of his desk and he didn't stop moving. didn't flinch when your eyes widened as he closed in. your hands gripped the edge of the table, your hands getting sweaty as you feel jay's nose brush against your cheek.
"but now?" his hands gripped the sides of the desk, caging you in as his breath fanned against your cheek. "now i think you need to be reminded of what happens when you push too hard."
your eyes widen momentarily when you see the wild look on his eyes, his nose flared slightly almost as if he was holding himself back. you scan his face, smooth and clean shaven with a small scar on his nose—his eyebrows maintained and his gaze sharp. it hurt to admit that he was in fact an attractive man, it was a shame that he was garbage at his job.
you scoffed, trying to sound unimpressed, but your body betrayed you—your breath caught, knees subtly pressed together.
"you forget your place, intern," you snapped, your voice weaker than you intended.
jay let out a humorless laugh. "no. you've just gotten way too comfortable in yours."
then, in one swift motion, he spun you around and bent you over the desk, your palms bracing the surface as you gasped. papers scattered in every direction, your heart hammering as the cold wood met your skin through your thin skirt.
you attempted to push yourself back up only for a hand to be secured at the back of your neck, pushing you back down so your cheek was planted firmly against the cool wood or the desk.
"jay—"
"quiet," he snapped, pressing down on your lower back as his hand slid up your thigh. "you love to give orders, huh? let's see how well you take them."
his voice was low, dark, threatening—but it wasn't just anger that drove him now. it was hunger. months of tension. resentment. control finally slipping from your grasp and into his.
"you want to act like i'm good for nothing?" he leaned in close, lips brushing your ear. "then let me show you exactly what i'm good for."
your breath hitched as jay's hands ran slowly up your thighs, his touch rough with frustration, but precise—like he knew exactly how far to push you before you'd break. he yanked your skirt up without hesitation, the sharp sound of fabric dragging across your skin sending a jolt straight through your spine.
a low whistle cut the air, "who knew the boss wore such scandalous items to work, hm? a black lace thong? who are you trying to impress? me?" his hands fondling your butt, a whimper escaping you when he squeezes a little to hard.
you let out a scoff, "why the fuck would i want to impress a good for not—" jay's hand comes down to land on one cheek, a loud squeal leaving your mouth at the sudden sting.
"—you act so high and mighty," he muttered, fingers digging into your hips as he pulled you back into him. "always barking orders, always so smug. but just wait, i'll be having you—" his palm presses firmly between your shoulder blades, keeping you pinned to the desk. "—quiet. obedient. and right where you belong."
"yeah ri—" you don't make it far when you feel his hands tangle into your hair, yanking roughly so the top of your head was touching his chest—your back curved almost painfully as jay held you in place.
you bit your lip hard, trying to swallow down the whimper that built in your throat. but he heard it. felt the way your body twitched beneath him.
"don't get shy now," jay growled, his mouth brushing the shell of your ear as he leaned down for you. "you wanted to push me. you loved watching me squirm while you humiliated me in front of everyone. so now you're going to take it."
your hands gripped the edge of the desk as he pressed his hips against you—hard. the heat between you two was suffocating, filthy. his restraint was hanging by a thread, and you could feel the power shift in real time. you weren't in charge anymore. not here. not like this.
"jay," you gasped, your voice suddenly softer, breathier than you meant.
"say it again," he demanded, one hand sliding under your blouse and gripping your side possessively. "say my name like that again and maybe i'll be gentle."
"fuck you," you hissed, defiant till the end.
he chuckled low in his throat, dark and dangerous. "wrong answer."
his hand came down hard on your ass—once, twice—each slap sharp and biting, making you jolt. the sting blended with the burn of desire, making your head spin.
"i've had to listen to you tear me down every damn day," he snarled, grabbing your hair tighter and forcing you to arch your back painfully, exposing the curve of your neck. "now you're gonna listen to me. no interruptions. no smug comebacks. just moaning my name like a good girl."
you whimpered, the sound involuntary. your thighs squeezed together, desperate for friction.
jay noticed. oh, he noticed.
"look at you," he muttered. "so fucking wet for the same intern you said wasn't good for anything. guess you were wrong."
you didn't respond, your pride caught somewhere between your teeth and your rapidly crumbling composure.
jay's hand slid lower again, teasing you through your underwear, slow and maddening. "what's the matter, boss? cat got your tongue?" he pushed the fabric aside and let his fingers slide through your slick folds, groaning at how ready you already were.
he lets your back relax, pushing you face down against the table again making you whine. you could feel his thick cock push against you as he continued to run his fingers down your slit.
"god, you're soaked," he breathed. "you've been wanting this, haven't you? you wanted someone to finally shut you up. tame you."
you gasped when he pushed two fingers into you without warning, curling them just right. your knees buckled, but his other arm was already gripping into your hips, holding you steady, refusing to let you escape. you shook in his hold, attempting to claw your way off the table as jay begins to push into your walls with more strength.
"you don't get to run now," he whispered, voice low and deadly in your ear. "you're going to take everything i give you. every inch. every word. every second."
he pressed his fingers deeper, curling them slow and hard while his mouth traced hot kisses down your neck.
"get away from me," you try to seethe out, attempting to turn around—your arms flailing.
jay only smirks, his fingers now pushing into you in a punishing pace. "we both know you don't want me away, __. look at how wet you are, you're dripping down your legs you filthy slut."
"fuck you," you spit, still thrashing weakly in his grip, even as your hips betrayed you and rolled back into his hand. "this doesn't mean anything—i still think you're pathetic."
jay chuckled darkly, the sound low and smug against your ear as he shoved his fingers in deeper, harder. "you think i care what you say with that mouth?" he growled, biting down gently on your shoulder. "when your cunt's already begging me to keep going?"
you let out a shaky moan, biting down hard on your lip to keep it in, but he noticed. he always noticed.
"so fucking bratty," he muttered, thrusting his fingers deep and curling them until your legs trembled. "running that smart mouth like you're still in charge. but look at you now—folding just like i knew you would."
"you're just some intern," you hissed, your voice breathless. "i could fire you right now."
"do it," he dared, slowing his thrusts until your body writhed for more. "fire me. but you're still gonna cum on my fingers first, aren't you?"
"i won't," you lied through clenched teeth, even as your thighs trembled around his hand.
"yeah?" he leaned in, dragging his tongue up the column of your throat. "then why are you clenching around me like you want me to fuck the attitude out of you?"
you hated him—hated how good he was with his hands, hated the smirk on his face, hated the way your body was betraying you, melting under his touch.
but most of all, you hated how badly you wanted to be ruined by him.
jay could feel it—you were close. your body gave you away more than your mouth ever could, the way your thighs shook, how your breathing hitched with every curl of his fingers. you were right there, teetering on the edge, your pride dangling by a thread.
"fuck, fuck—don't stop," you finally breathed out, voice cracking as your head dropped forward, hands scrambling to find something to grip.
jay froze.
his fingers stayed buried inside you, but they didn't move. not an inch. just deep enough to make your walls flutter, but not enough to push you over.
you let out a strangled noise, turning your head to glare over your shoulder. "what the fuck are you doing?"
"oh, now you want something from me?" he asked, voice full of mock innocence as he slowly pulled his fingers out of you, watching your body twitch at the loss. "that's cute."
"don't be a fucking asshole," you snapped, grinding back toward him in desperation. "i said don't stop—"
"yeah, you did," jay cut in smoothly, wiping his soaked fingers on your thigh with a smug smirk. "but you've spent the last three months treating me like shit. barking at me like some entitled princess, calling me pathetic, useless—i'm just an intern, right?"
you seethed, still panting, but he was already stepping back. "you're such a fucking prick."
he let out a low chuckle, grabbing a fistful of your hair and tugging you upright so your back arched and your breath caught. "and you're such a fucking brat."
he yanked you away from the desk and spun you around, his grip on your hair keeping you dizzy and breathless as he forced you to your knees. the floor was cold beneath you, your chest heaving, your thighs slick and trembling—but you looked up at him with the same defiance in your eyes.
"still think you're in charge?" he asked, thumb dragging over your bottom lip. "because from where i'm standing, you're just a desperate little slut on her knees."
you tried to say something—maybe another insult, maybe a curse—but all that came out was a shaky breath, lips parting as two of his fingers pushed into your mouth.
you breathe heavily as he pushes down on your tongue, essentially tasting yourself.
"you could've cum," he murmured, looking down at you like you were something fragile and fucked up all at once. "but you don't get to cum with that mouth."
he slid his fingers out of your mouth, rubbing your saliva messily over your lips before cupping your jaw—tilting your face up to him. "you'll learn how to ask nicely," he whispered. "you'll learn how to beg."
"now open that bratty little mouth," he said, undoing his belt with slow, deliberate hands. "and maybe i'll show you what happens when you finally stop talking back."
"as if i'm going to let y—" you began, a cry escaping you when your head flys to the side. your hand coming up to cradle your red cheek as you look up at him in shock.
jay's palm was still in the air, his expression dark, unrelenting. his chest heaved once—twice—as he loomed over you, the sharp crack of his slap still ringing in your ears.
"you will," he said lowly, voice like steel wrapped in velvet. "because i'm done listening to that fucking mouth."
you stared up at him, wide-eyed, lips parted—shock clouding your mind even as the heat on your cheek throbbed. you would've never thought, in a million years, that jay would have slapped you. it made your blood rush straight between your legs, the sting blooming into something twisted and hot.
jay crouched in front of you slowly, one hand gripping your chin—tight enough to make your jaw ache, tight enough to make you feel how serious he was.
"you think you're in control?" he sneered, thumb brushing over your trembling bottom lip. "you think just because you've spent months treating me like shit, i'd always let you get away with it?"
you swallowed thickly, trying to hold onto whatever attitude you had left, but it was slipping—fast.
"you think you can call me useless, boss me around, make me beg for scraps of respect—and then what? act like you're above me when you're soaking through your panties just from a slap and a few words?"
his thumb pressed into your mouth, forceful, making you part your lips around it as he leaned in.
"go ahead," he whispered. "say something bratty again. give me a reason to make you beg for the orgasm i'm not gonna let you have."
you whimpered, eyes fluttering as your mouth opened wider around his thumb, heat blooming in your stomach despite the sharpness in his tone.
"look at you," he murmured, dragging the pad of his thumb across your tongue slowly. "i haven't even fucked you yet and already, you're falling apart."
he pulled his thumb out and let it trail down your chin, slick with your spit, before gripping your hair again and yanking your head back to look up at him.
"on your knees. mouth open. hands behind your back," he ordered, belt now unfastened, hanging from one hand like a warning. "maybe if you're good now, i'll consider using your throat the way it was meant to be used."
"and if you dare bite," he added, eyes glinting with menace, "i'll remind you exactly who you belong to."
you should've hated him.
but instead, you opened your mouth—tongue out.
jay grins menacingly at your sudden obedience, his cock springing out—hitting your cheek.
"you're gonna be good f''me, yeah?" he drawls, tracing your lips with his tip slowly—teasing you.
when you don't respond he slaps his heavy dick onto your tongue, "i asked you something, sweetheart."
you mewl at the pet name, "y-yes i'll be good."
"good." and with that he pushes into your mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat before hes pulling out and bottoming back in again.
jay does this a few times, watching his dick disappear into your mouth before hes pulling out fully—snickering when he sees you chase for it.
he stroked himself slowly, deliberately, eyes locked on you as he took his time. he wasn't teasing himself—he was teasing you. dragging it out just to watch you squirm on your knees like the desperate little thing you pretended not to be.
"you've been walking around all fucking day like you run the world," he muttered, voice dripping with disdain. "snapping at me. barking orders. treating me like i'm beneath you."
he stepped closer, and your breath caught as the tip of his cock brushed your lips.
"so what are you now, huh?" he whispered. "my boss? or my personal fucktoy?"
your tongue darted out instinctively, trying to taste him—but he pulled back with a dark chuckle.
"ah, ah. not yet. beg."
your eyes narrowed, pride still flickering behind the haze, but your body betrayed you. your thighs clenched. your breath hitched. your mouth stayed open, waiting, even as your words choked out.
"...please."
jay raised a brow, pretending not to hear.
"louder."
"please," you tried again, cheeks flushed in humiliation. "i want it."
he grinned—cruel, smug, victorious.
"you want what, baby?"
your fingers curled behind your back as you bit your cheek, hating how your voice trembled. "i want your cock."
jay hummed in approval, finally guiding himself forward and pressing into your mouth. not gently. not patiently. he gave you no time to adjust, groaning low as he slid past your lips and hit the back of your throat in one brutal thrust.
you gagged, tears instantly springing to your eyes, but he didn't pull away—just groaned again and cradled the back of your head.
"fuck, that's it," he hissed. "look at you. so fucking obedient now."
he started moving—slow at first, then rougher with each thrust, using your mouth like it belonged to him. and maybe it did. maybe it always had.
your knees ached, eyes blurred, throat burning—but you didn't stop. not once.
he didn't let you.
because this was your punishment. for every eye roll. every insult. every time you called him incompetent.
and now, with spit dripping down your chin and your throat stuffed full of the intern you used to humiliate—now you were finally silent.
and jay? jay was just getting started.
his pace was ruthless and unforgiving, taking out his frustration and anger that has accumulated over the course of 3 months out on you and your mouth. his hands had created two makeshift ponytails, steering you.
your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you slowly began to struggle for air, unable to breath out of your nose.
"aw c'mon now, sweetheart. giving up on me so easily?" jay grunts, the squelching sounds of your wet mouth and his thick cock filling the room.
you hum, eyes opening as you stare up at him with a dazed expression.
your lips stretched around him, drool spilling from the corners of your mouth, chin soaked and glistening. jay growled low in his throat, his grip tightening in your hair as he snapped his hips forward, burying himself deep down your throat.
"fuck," he hissed, sweat beading along his brow as he watched your glassy eyes blink up at him. "look at you. not so mouthy now, huh?"
you gagged again, throat convulsing around him as your lungs burned, but the look on your face only turned more desperate—more ruined. there was no point pretending anymore. not when you were on your knees, completely at his mercy, submitting to him with every choke and gasp.
"this is what you needed, isn't it?" he sneered, pulling out just enough to let you inhale sharply before ramming back in. "some discipline. someone to shut that smart mouth up."
you whimpered around him, eyelids fluttering as the ache between your legs grew unbearable. your hands itched to reach for him—for anything—but you kept them laced behind your back, like he told you.
his thrusts didn't falter. if anything, they got rougher, angrier. you were his outlet now—3 months of humiliation and quiet rage spilling out with every brutal thrust into your throat.
"you use me. treat me like shit. act like i'm beneath you," he snarled, voice breaking on a groan as your throat clenched around him. "but look at you now. fucking begging for it with your eyes." jay could feel the pit in his stomach tighten, his thrusts getting deeper.
with a deep moan, jay's spilling inside your mouth—his cum painting your throat white as he forces you to stay still.
you coughed, a mixture of his cum and your spit cascading down your chest, when jay finally pulled out. your chest rose and fell rapidly, eyes wild and teary, mouth hanging open and glistening.
"swallow it." you do as your told, tongue reaching out to lick away whatever was left around your mouth.
but before you could even speak, his hand cracked across your cheek again, not hard—but sharp enough to make your head snap to the side.
"you don't get to cum," he said coldly, gripping your face and forcing you to look up at him again. "not tonight."
your heart dropped, a soft, broken sound catching in your throat.
"you don't get to cum until i say so. and you definitely don't get to act like a brat and expect a reward."
you blinked at him, trembling, body aching for any kind of release, but jay just stared down at you—cock hard again and glistening, jaw tight, breathing heavy.
"i want you bent over," he muttered. "you're not done being used."
and with that, he grabbed you by the jaw and dragged you into position—because this time you weren't in charge. and he was going to make damn sure you remembered it.
you held yourself up by your forearms, sticking your ass out just the way you knew he wanted. your breath was shallow, heart racing, skin prickling with anticipation as you waited—head spinning from the shift in power you were still adjusting to.
jay stood behind you, silent for a moment. just watching. letting the tension build. letting you squirm.
"look at you now," he muttered, voice dark and low as he ran his hand slowly down your spine. "all quiet. all obedient. where'd all that attitude go, huh?"
you tried to lift your head, to say something smart, something that might tip the balance back in your favor—but all that came out was a whimper as his palm came down hard across your ass.
"that's what i thought," he growled, gripping your hips and pulling you back until you felt the heat of him against you. "you only know how to run that mouth when no one's around to shut it for you."
his hand slid down your thigh, fingers trailing dangerously close before pulling back again, teasing. denying.
"say it," he said. "say you're sorry for being a brat."
you hesitated, biting your lip, heat blooming in your chest from the humiliation—until his hand cracked across your ass again, this time harder.
"say it."
you gasped, trembling under his touch, voice barely a whisper.
"i'm sorry."
"for what?"
"...for being a brat."
he hummed, satisfied, thumbs pressing into your hips as he leaned down to murmur right into your ear, "good. now hold still. and maybe, maybe—if you behave—I'll let you finish."
and with one sharp thrust, he filled you—setting a punishing pace that left no room for doubt. this time, you weren't in control.
he was.
and he wasn't letting go until you remembered exactly who you belonged to.
his grip was bruising as he held your hips in place, each thrust deep and deliberate, his pace merciless from the start. your forearms trembled beneath you, struggling to keep you upright as your body jolted forward with every snap of his hips.
you mewled at the stretch, feeling his thick and heavy cock fill you to the brim as you struggle briefly to accommodate him.
"you wanted control so bad," he grunted, his breath hot against your spine as he leaned over you, still moving inside you without pause. "thought you could treat me like a joke, make me crawl for you. who's the one crawling now?"
you whimpered, back arching instinctively when his hand slid around to your throat, pulling you up just enough so your back was flush to his chest. your head dropped against his shoulder, lips parted in silent moans as he tightened his fingers around your neck—not enough to hurt, just enough to remind you who was in charge now.
"you like this, don't you?" he whispered into your ear, biting down on the lobe. "being put in your place. being used." you nodded, helpless.
"words," he demanded, his thrusts slowing just enough to drive you crazy.
"yes—" you gasped out, voice hoarse, "yes, i like it."
his low chuckle rumbled against your back. "not so cocky now, are you?"
he pushed you back down, pressing a hand between your shoulder blades as his other reached around and rubbed slow, teasing circles around your clit.
your legs shook, body coiling tight, right on the edge of release. you could feel it. jay could feel it too, your walls fluttered around his girth almost painfully—squeezing him deliciously, so he did what only made sense.
he stopped.
you choked on a gasp, hips twitching back toward him. "w-what...? why—?"
jay pulled out completely, and the sudden emptiness made your breath hitch. your walls clenched around nothing, your body screaming for friction.
"you think brats get to cum?" he asked, his voice dark with amusement, chest rising and falling as he stared down at your ruined, trembling form. "not after the way you've treated me."
"p-please," you whined, all self-respect gone, your voice cracking as you rocked your hips back pathetically, desperate for even the faintest touch. "i'll be good, i swear i'll be good..."
he cocked his head, one brow arching as his fingers traced a slow line up your spine. "yeah? you'll be good?" he echoed, mocking you.
"yes—please, i need it," you gasped, pressing your thighs together for any kind of relief.
he leaned down, lips brushing your ear as he whispered, "then give me what i want."
you froze, shivering at the implication. "w-what?"
his hand grabbed your jaw again, turning your head until you had no choice but to look at him.
"you want to cum?" he asked, deadly calm. "then give me the permanent position. say it. right now. say i've earned it."
you blinked, heart pounding—half from humiliation, half from how shamefully turned on you were. "y-you're serious?"
he gave you one sharp thrust, just enough to make you moan, then pulled back again. "dead serious. i'll fuck you until you can't remember your own name—but you don't get to cum until i hear it from that bratty little mouth."
you hesitated, lips trembling. it was reckless. inappropriate. insane. but your body was burning.
"fine," you breathed, eyes glossy, your voice barely audible. "you can have it. the permanent spot. it's yours."
he grinned.
"that's more like it."
then he slammed back into you, deep and unforgiving—and this time, he wasn't holding back.
you cried out when you felt him grip your ass with two hands, making you fuck yourself back onto his cock.
"fuck, look at you. so desperate for my dick, so cock hungry," he sneers softly, relishing in the feeling of your gummy walls engulfing him and the fat of your ass pushing against his pelvis.
"s'good, j-jay," you slur out, desperate for release.
"yeah? so good? first time i've heard something good come out of your filthy fucking mouth," he snickers, fucking into you at a punishing pace.
he could feel you tighten around him, grunting when he realizes that he was just as close as you were.
"m'gonna cum," you slur. "please, let me come."
jay pants, his hands planting onto your lower back to hold you down as he fucks into you deeper—his hips snapping violently.
"yeah? you wanna cum, sweetheart? go ahead then, milk my cock."
just like that you shatter, a high pitched moan leaving your parted lips as your body convulses violently.
jay's high is just around the corner, his pace unforgiving before he himself unravels—unloading himself in you. he lets out a deep guttural moan, spilling his cum deep in you as your body twitches at the sensation.
"fuck—look at that," he murmurs, pulling out of you leaving you empty. you mewl at the feeling, body twitching as you drop your head onto the desk—no longer able to hold yourself up.
jay looks down in awe, watching his cum dribble out of your used cunt before he's swiping his digits through the mess—plugging his fingers in you to make sure you keep his seed in from spilling out.
you shudder at the feeling, to fucked out to realize what jay was doing. jay on the other hand admires the mess he has created, your behind was all shades of pink and red as his cum was spilling out of your hole like a faucet.
he leans down, his lips brushing against your ear, "pleasure doing business with you, boss."
— enjoy this fic? check out my other ones right here!
#jaysbaefie#enhypen#enha imagines#smut#enha x reader#enhypen smut#enha scenarios#kpop#kpop bg#park jongseong smut#park jongseong#jay enhypen#jay smut#jay scenarios#enhypen jay#jay park#jongseong x reader#enhypen jongseong#enha jongseong#enhypen x reader#ff#enhypen fanfiction#fanfic#office au#enhypen fic#au#enhypen scenarios#enhypen x female reader
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IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU - CH.4
Chapter Four: Everybody Wonders What It Would Be Like To Love You
Summary: You find yourself sharing a hotel suite with Pedro Pascal while working on the set of Fantastic Four: First Steps. Despite your different roles—he’s the star, and you’re behind the scenes. Nothing could ever happen between you two… right?
Paring: Pedro Pascal x F!Reader
Warnings: Age-Gap Romance (Not Specified), Eventual SMUT, Crush, FLUFF, Slight Angst, Trope(s), Swearing, Anxiety, Lots of Cliches, Cheesy Dialogue, Romance, Kissing, Real People Fiction, Cameras, Paparazzi, Social Media, Swoonworthy, One-Room Trope, They were roommates, Strangers-to-Lovers, Actors, Hallmark Tropes, the reader can sing and play guitar, the reader is shorter than Pedro, the reader has hair, Alternate Universe, Awkward!Reader, Shy!Reader, Fan Girl!Reader, Cringe, Embarrassment, Starstruck, Bullying, Physicological Bullying, Mean Girls,
Word Count: 6.4k
A/N: Heads up, there’s a bully in this chapter but dw, you got Pedro on your side hehe. Again, this is all fictional. To any Cecilia’s out there irl, no hate to you girl, I don’t even know you LOL.
Side note: I’m dyslexic and English isn’t my first language! So I apologize in advance for the spelling and/or grammatical errors. As always, reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated. Thank you and happy reading!
Song: gold rush by Taylor Swift
Previous Chapter → Next Chapter | Series Masterlist |Main Masterlist|
PINEWOOD STUDIOS — MORNING
The hum of set life surrounded you like a familiar melody—the rhythmic chatter of crew members, the distant clatter of equipment being adjusted, the occasional burst of laughter from someone off-camera. You moved through it all with ease, exchanging quick words with a fellow PA as you double-checked the last-minute details before call time.
You didn’t notice him watching you.
Pedro sat in the makeup chair, already in costume, his eyes drifting away from the mirror as Coco worked her hands through his hair. His body was still, but his mind was somewhere else. Or rather—on someone else.
It was the way you tilted your head as someone from production rattled off instructions, your brows furrowing slightly in concentration. The way you shifted your weight from one foot to the other, nodding once before offering a soft, assured smile. You weren’t just hearing what they were saying—you were listening, absorbing every detail like you belonged here. Like you had always belonged.
He felt something tighten in his chest.
God, you made him feel strange.
It was the words that stuck in his throat when you were near, the way his pulse stuttered for no damn reason. The way his thoughts—usually so steady, so controlled—felt unruly around you. It was dizzying. Unsettling.
It had been a long time since he’d felt like this. Since he’d been caught so completely off guard by someone.
And yet, he couldn’t stop himself from looking for you.
In the crowd. In the moments between takes. In the quiet spaces where he thought maybe—just maybe—you were looking for him, too.
PINEWOOD STUDIOS — AFTERNOON
Lunch break rolled around, bringing a much-needed lull in the day’s chaos. The crew scattered—some retreating to their trailers, others grabbing quick bites from catering, the energy shifting into something looser, more relaxed.
Your phone buzzed just as you were sitting down at one of the outdoor tables, the screen lighting up with a message.
Pedro: Wanna grab a bite later?
You smiled to yourself, thumbs already moving across the screen.
You: I do, but I kinda wanna hang with my friends for a bit too.
His response came almost immediately.
Pedro: Oh yeah, of course. Mind if I tag along?
You hesitated for half a second. Not because you didn’t want him there—but because you weren’t sure if he really wanted to be there.
You: Are you sure?
Pedro: Obviously.
So that’s how Pedro Pascal ended up at lunch with you and your friends, settling into the group like he had always belonged there.
He was easy to talk to, of course. He charmed his way through introductions, seamlessly jumping into conversations, laughing in all the right places, making everyone feel like they were the most interesting person in the room. But his attention always had a way of drifting back to you.
The way you scrunched your nose as you tried to pick apart a joke someone had made. The way your eyes lit up as you talked about some old inside story with your friends. The way you were currently demolishing a cookie like it was the best thing you’d ever tasted.
Pedro noticed.
He didn’t say anything, but he noticed.
His lips twitched as you took another enthusiastic bite, completely unaware of his amusement.
There were other things, too—subtle things. The brush of his knee against yours under the table, lingering just a second longer than necessary. The way his fingers would graze your wrist when he leaned in to say something, as if testing the waters. The way his eyes would flick to your lips when you spoke before quickly darting away, as if he hadn’t meant to.
And then, of course, there was the teasing.
"Did you even taste that cookie, or did you just inhale it?" Pedro mused, finally breaking his silence, amusement lacing his voice.
You swallowed the last bite, leveling him with a mock glare. "It’s really good."
He smirked. "Clearly."
"Don’t judge me."
"Never." The word came softer than expected, a little too sincere for just teasing. His gaze held yours for a beat longer than necessary, something unreadable flickering behind his eyes.
Your heart stuttered.
He looked away first, but not before you caught the slightest hint of pink creeping up the tips of his ears. It was such a small thing—barely there, really—but you noticed. And it made something warm unfurl in your chest.
The conversation around the table carried on, your friends swapping stories and teasing each other between bites of food. Pedro chimed in here and there, laughing along, but every now and then, you felt his gaze flick back to you.
You were hyper-aware of him now. The way his arm rested casually on the back of your chair, not quite touching but close enough that you could feel his warmth. The way his fingers absentmindedly drummed against the table, his other hand occasionally brushing against yours as he reached for his drink.
Then, he sighed, pulling his phone from his pocket, frowning slightly at the screen.
"Ugh, my phone’s about to die."
Without hesitation, you reached into your bag, pulling out your power bank and a charging cord. "Oh, no worries, here—use this."
Pedro blinked, momentarily caught off guard.
You handed it over without a second thought, already turning back to your food. But he didn’t move to plug his phone in right away. Instead, he just looked at you, something unreadable in his expression.
His fingers brushed against yours as he took the charger, his touch lingering just a fraction longer than necessary.
“You just carry this around with you?” he asked, his voice quieter now, something softer beneath the teasing edge.
You shrugged, popping another bite of food into your mouth. “Yeah, of course. Never know when you might need it.”
His lips quirked, but he didn’t say anything right away.
Instead, he plugged in his phone, then glanced back at you, shaking his head slightly like he couldn’t quite believe you.
"What?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.
Pedro exhaled a small laugh, tucking the power bank into his lap like it was something precious. "Nothing. You’re just—" He paused, searching for the right word, before finally settling on, "—thoughtful."
Something about the way he said it made your stomach flip.
You swallowed, suddenly feeling self-conscious under his gaze. "It’s just a charger, Pedro."
"Yeah," he murmured, still watching you. "I know."
But his expression said something else entirely.
You weren’t sure what to do with that look—the quiet weight of his gaze, the way he seemed to be memorizing you like you were something worth studying. So, instead of dwelling on it, you reached into your bag and pulled out your notepad and pen.
Doodling had always been second nature to you. Something to keep your hands busy while your mind wandered. While your friends continued chatting, their voices washing over you in waves, you let your pen glide over the paper in absentminded strokes.
Pedro, however, wasn’t nearly as distracted.
From the corner of his eye, he watched, his attention flicking between you and the small spirals and shapes forming beneath your fingers. It was mesmerizing in a way he didn’t expect. The way your brow furrowed ever so slightly when you concentrated. The way your pen tapped softly against the pad before committing to a new line.
He shifted in his seat, subtly angling himself so he could get a better look.
It wasn’t just mindless scribbles.
You were sketching. Really sketching.
A rough outline of the restaurant table, the glasses, the crumpled napkins. And just beside that, the faint beginnings of a face—strong jaw, slightly furrowed brows, lips curved at the edges as if they were on the verge of a smirk.
His lips.
Pedro’s throat tightened.
"That me?" he asked, voice pitched just low enough for only you to hear.
Your pen paused mid-stroke, and you glanced up at him, caught. He wasn’t teasing, not really. If anything, there was something almost—fond—about the way he was looking at you.
You shrugged, offering a sheepish smile. "Maybe."
Pedro huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. "I didn’t know you could draw."
"It’s just something I do when I’m listening," you admitted, flipping the page like it was nothing.
But he didn’t think it was nothing.
He wanted to say something else, something lighthearted to keep you from looking so shy about it, but before he could, one of your friends called your name, pulling your attention away.
Pedro exhaled, leaning back in his seat, but his gaze lingered on you for a moment longer.
Thoughtful. Talented.
Yeah. He was absolutely in trouble.
PINEWOOD STUDIOS — AFTERNOON
The shift in the air was subtle at first, almost imperceptible.
But you felt it.
It was the way certain conversations would quiet just as you approached. The way people who had once been warm and welcoming now exchanged knowing glances when they thought you weren’t looking. The way whispers followed in your wake, hushed giggles that felt anything but good-natured.
And at the center of it all was Cecilia.
She was the kind of woman people noticed when she walked into a room—stunning, sharp-witted, and utterly ruthless when it came to getting what she wanted.
And for whatever reason, she had decided that you were a problem.
At first, it was small things. A pointed look. A lingering smirk. A brush of her shoulder against yours as she passed by.
But then, it escalated.
"Did you hear?" one of her friends whispered just loud enough as you walked by. "She totally forced her way onto this project. Some kind of nepotism thing, I bet."
"Ugh, so cringe," another voice giggled. "She acts all sweet, but like, we know the truth."
You gritted your teeth, kept your head down, and moved along.
You weren’t stupid. You knew exactly what this was. Psychological warfare disguised as petty gossip. You’d seen it before, and you'd see it again.
The worst part?
You refused to let it get to you.
At least, that’s what you told yourself.
Pedro noticed.
It started with the way you brushed things off too quickly, like you were trying not to care. The way your usual smiles didn’t quite reach your eyes. The way your laugh—one of his new favorite sounds—had dulled just a fraction, too forced, too polite.
And Pedro wasn’t an idiot.
He saw the way Cecilia and her group slinked around set like vipers, the way their eyes always seemed to flick toward you before whispering behind manicured hands.
It pissed him off.
But when he asked about it, you just waved it away.
“Nothing’s wrong.” You shrugged, reaching for a prop clipboard. “Just tired. Long day.”
Pedro arched a brow. “Really? That’s it?”
“Yep.”
He studied you for a moment, then exhaled through his nose. “You’re a terrible liar.”
That made you scoff. “I am fine.”
“Uh-huh.” He crossed his arms, tilting his head slightly. “So, you’re totally cool with the whole… weird vibe around here lately?”
You hesitated. Just for a second.
It was enough.
“Pedro,” you sighed, shaking your head. “It’s not a big deal. I don’t care what they think, okay? It’s just… you know how some people are. They get bored.”
“They get mean,” he corrected.
You frowned, looking away.
He softened, tilting his head to meet your gaze. “You don’t have to pretend it doesn’t suck.”
You swallowed, fingers tightening around the clipboard.
“It doesn’t suck,” you insisted. “Because I don’t care.”
Pedro’s stare was unwavering, but you held your ground.
Because if you admitted it did hurt—if you let yourself feel it—you weren’t sure you’d be able to stop.
And you weren’t going to let them win.
Pedro sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Fine. You don’t care," he murmured. "But if you ever do care… you’ll tell me, right?"
Something in your chest tightened at that.
You forced a small, teasing smile. “Wow, Pedro. That almost sounded like a serious conversation.”
He rolled his eyes but smirked. "Yeah, yeah. Don’t get used to it."
And just like that, the tension cracked, relief flickering behind his gaze.
For now, he’d let you pretend you were fine.
But he’d also be watching.
TWO DAYS BEFORE THE WEEKEND…
PINEWOOD STUDIOS — MORNING
The next two days were a slow, grating kind of miserable.
It started with small things—so small that if you weren’t paying attention, you might have convinced yourself they were nothing. The way conversations would quiet just as you walked past, the barely-concealed laughter from across the room, the occasional, suspiciously misplaced item that had definitely been right where you left it.
It was the kind of thing that chipped away at you in small, insidious ways.
Like the way Cecilia and her friends would conveniently stand right where you needed to go, their backs turned but their voices just loud enough.
“I swear, some people just don’t belong here.”
You’d walk past without reacting, even as the words burrowed under your skin.
Or the way your neatly organized stack of call sheets had been mysteriously scattered all over the breakroom counter when you came back from a coffee run. No one claimed responsibility, but Cecilia had walked by, tossing you a slow, syrupy-sweet, “Oops, was that important?” before sauntering off.
You clenched your jaw. Breathed through it.
Not worth it.
But then there were the more deliberate moments.
Like the wardrobe rack incident.
You had been helping move costumes between trailers when Cecilia and one of her friends conveniently brushed past, sending a precariously hung dress tumbling to the ground.
“Oh no,” Cecilia pouted, pressing a hand to her chest with mock concern. “You should really be more careful.”
You bent to pick it up, biting back the sharp retort on the tip of your tongue. The last thing you needed was to give her the satisfaction of a reaction.
Still, your fingers trembled slightly as you smoothed out the fabric and rehung it.
Then, there was lunch.
You had been balancing a plate of food in one hand, your phone in the other, when one of Cecilia’s friends accidentally knocked your elbow in passing.
It was a tiny movement. Just enough to send your fork clattering to the floor, just enough to make you hesitate—because was it intentional? Or were you just being paranoid?
“Careful,” the girl sing-songed over her shoulder, giggling as she caught up with Cecilia.
You let out a slow breath. Swallowed back the lump in your throat.
Not worth it.
So you kept your head up, kept moving, kept going. You told yourself that if you didn’t acknowledge it, if you pretended it didn’t exist, then it couldn’t touch you.
Right?
But it did.
Because by the time you got back to your trailer that night, you had to sit on the edge of your bed and press the heels of your hands into your eyes, breathing slow, measured breaths to keep yourself from crying.
Because it was working.
Because no matter how much you told yourself you were fine, no matter how much you smiled and laughed and acted unbothered, the cracks were starting to show.
You barely had a moment to yourself.
Between running last-minute errands for production, keeping up with the crew’s rapid-fire instructions, and dodging the subtle but constant hostility radiating from Cecilia and her group, you were stretched thin.
The exhaustion was creeping in—settling in the space between your ribs, behind your eyes, in the way your shoulders sat just a little tighter than usual.
But you wouldn’t give them the satisfaction.
So you pushed through, past the carefully calculated inconveniences. The way they always seemed to cut in front of you when you were in a hurry, the stolen side-eyes and smirks exchanged whenever you spoke in a group, the way your things somehow always ended up in different places than you’d left them.
You pretended not to notice when Cecilia’s voice turned just a little too loud whenever she spoke to someone near you.
"Oh my god, you know what I hate? When people think just anyone can belong in this industry. Like… babe, you’re only here because they needed extra hands. It’s cute, though."
You told yourself not to react.
Even when Daisy—who had been standing beside you, her grip tightening on her clipboard—made a noise that sounded a lot like she was about to launch herself across the room.
“It’s whatever,” you had muttered, tugging her back before she could make a scene.
Daisy had narrowed her eyes. “It’s not whatever. She’s being a bitch.”
You had only sighed. “I know.”
Omar wasn’t as easily convinced.
The next morning, when you found him loitering near Cecilia’s usual coffee spot, arms crossed and expression unreadable, you had to physically drag him away before he did something stupid.
“Do not get yourself in trouble over this.”
“She’s messing with you,” he seethed. “I hate people like her.”
“She’s not worth it,” you said, but even to your own ears, your voice sounded too thin, too tight.
Omar wasn’t buying it. “Okay, but are you okay?”
You hesitated. The truth was, you weren’t sure anymore.
The worst part wasn’t the pettiness or the whispered insults—it was the fact that it was working. That somehow, in all the noise and nonsense, they had managed to make you feel small.
But admitting that felt too much like defeat.
So you forced a smile. “I’m fine.”
Omar gave you a long, knowing look before muttering something under his breath and stalking off.
That afternoon, as you sat on a bench outside the studio, your notebook balanced on your lap, you felt a shadow fall over you.
“Hey,” Pedro’s voice was soft.
You glanced up, startled. “Oh. Hey.”
His brows knit together. “You okay?”
You blinked. “What?”
“You’ve been… different.” His voice was measured, careful. “Quieter.”
You tried to play it off, shaking your head with a small laugh. “I’m just tired. Long shoot days, you know how it is.”
Pedro didn’t look convinced.
For a moment, he just stood there, watching you with that steady, unreadable gaze of his. Like he was sifting through the words you weren’t saying, trying to make sense of them.
Then, without another word, he sat down beside you.
Close enough that his arm brushed against yours.
You tensed, just slightly, before exhaling.
Neither of you spoke for a moment.
Then—
“Can I see?” he asked, nodding toward your notebook.
You hesitated.
It was just mindless doodles—tiny flowers curling around the corners of the pages, half-finished sketches of set pieces, a rough outline of something that might have been Pedro’s profile if you hadn’t abandoned it halfway through.
You felt a little embarrassed, but you handed it to him anyway.
Pedro flipped through the pages, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “These are really good.”
You rolled your eyes. “They’re just sketches.”
“Still,” he murmured, fingers skimming over the paper. “They’re yours.”
There was something about the way he said it—soft, sincere—that made your stomach tighten.
For the first time in two days, something in you eased.
You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.
And when Pedro leaned in, just slightly, warmth radiating from his shoulder where it rested against yours, you didn’t move away.
Pedro was still flipping through your sketches when a sharp, saccharine voice cut through the air.
“Oh wow, there you are, Pedro. I was wondering when you’d finally come up for air.”
Cecilia.
You felt your whole body go rigid.
Pedro barely glanced up, his fingers still tracing one of your sketches absentmindedly. “Hey.” His voice was flat, distracted.
She took a step closer, her presence invasive in a way that made your skin prickle. “I was just telling the others how dedicated you are to your work. You know, always finding ways to get into character.” Her gaze flicked toward you, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. “Even off set.”
You swallowed hard.
Your chest felt tight, exhaustion pressing against your ribs, making it harder to keep your expression neutral. You were already hanging by a thread, stretched too thin over the last two days, and Cecilia knew it.
Pedro, still looking down at your notebook, gave a vague hum of acknowledgment, barely engaging. It wasn’t the reaction Cecilia had been hoping for, and you could see it. The way her expression twitched for half a second before smoothing over again.
She tilted her head, the corners of her mouth curling. “It’s sweet, though. That you take the time to entertain people. I mean, it’s not like everyone gets that kind of attention from you.” She let out a light, airy laugh that made your stomach turn. “Guess it pays to be in the right place at the right time, huh?”
The implication was clear.
You clenched your jaw, willing yourself not to react.
But then—
“Cecilia,” Pedro’s voice was calm, but there was an edge to it now. His fingers tapped against the notebook, his expression unreadable. “What are you doing?”
Cecilia blinked, all faux innocence. “What do you mean?”
Pedro finally lifted his head, and when he met her gaze, something in his expression shifted—something sharp, something distinctly unimpressed.
“I mean, what are you doing?” His voice was just as smooth as before, but there was weight behind it now. “Because if you’re here to talk about the shoot, you should probably be talking to the crew.”
Cecilia’s smile faltered.
It was subtle, but you caught it.
She opened her mouth, probably to smooth things over, but Pedro was already looking back at you, tilting the notebook toward you slightly, as if she weren’t even standing there.
“You should finish this one,” he murmured, tapping his finger against the half-finished sketch of his profile. “It’s really good.”
You could feel Cecilia’s eyes burning into you, but Pedro wasn’t giving her anything to work with.
Her lips parted, like she might try again, but then she seemed to think better of it. Instead, she let out a small, sharp exhale through her nose, rolling her eyes as she turned on her heel and stalked off.
The moment she was gone, you let out a slow, shaky breath, your hands gripping your notebook a little tighter.
Pedro glanced over, brow furrowed. “You okay?”
You nodded, even though your throat was tight. “I just…” A deep inhale. “I think I need a break.”
Pedro studied you for a long moment. Then, without a word, he reached out, resting his hand over yours where it lay against the bench.
Warm. Steady.
Grounding.
“Let’s take one, then,” he murmured.
And for the first time in days, you let yourself lean into it.
The evening air was crisp, carrying the lingering scent of rain on the pavement as the last of the crew wrapped up for the day. You were exhausted, your body aching from hours on set, but when Pedro leaned in—voice low and warm—you felt something in you unwind.
“Wanna grab dinner before heading back?”
You blinked up at him, a little caught off guard. “Like… out-out?”
His lips quirked into a small smile, hands slipping into the pockets of his jeans. “Yeah. Out-out.”
You hesitated, glancing around as crew members bustled past, some already heading toward the shuttle van waiting to take everyone back to the hotel. “But, like… what if people see me with you?”
Pedro gave you a look. “So?”
“So… you’re you,” you gestured vaguely at him, “and I’m just—”
He cut you off with a quiet scoff, shaking his head. “Nope. We’re not doing that again. You’re you. And I wanna have dinner with you. End of discussion.”
The finality in his tone made your stomach flip.
You bit your lip, then nodded. “…Okay.”
Pedro’s face softened, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he bumped your shoulder lightly. “Good.”
By the time you both made it to the shuttle van, most of the cast and crew were already piling in.
Vanessa was the first to notice. She raised an eyebrow, a slow grin spreading across her face. “Ohhh, where are you two off to?”
Before you could answer, Joseph leaned forward from his seat. “Are we witnessing a secret rendezvous?”
Ebon chuckled, shaking his head. “A little late-night dinner date?”
Coco, already buckled in, smirked knowingly. “Have funnnn,” she teased, dragging out the last syllable.
You rolled your eyes, heat creeping up your neck. Pedro, for his part, was completely unfazed, flashing them an easy smile as he opened the door for you. “Don’t wait up,” he called, earning a chorus of laughter and whistles from the others as he shut it behind you.
The restaurant wasn’t far—a quiet little spot tucked away from the main streets. The walk there was peaceful, the city buzzing around you but never pressing in too close.
Pedro, dressed down in a hoodie, jeans, a baseball cap, and his glasses, was trying his best to blend in. But even like this, effortlessly casual, he still had a presence. He still walked like he took up space, like the world had to move around him.
The height difference was almost comical. You felt it every time he turned his head down to look at you, every time his arm brushed against yours.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asked suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence.
You glanced up at him, caught off guard. “What?”
Pedro gave you a look, one that made it clear he wasn’t buying whatever act you thought you were pulling. “Cecilia.”
Your stomach twisted.
You exhaled slowly, shaking your head. “It’s not a big deal.”
Pedro stopped walking.
You took two more steps before realizing, turning back to find him standing there, arms crossed, brows drawn together in frustration.
He looked at you, really looked at you. “Of course, it’s a big deal,” he said, voice quieter now but firm. “If it’s hurting you, it’s a big deal.”
You swallowed.
The weight of his concern settled over you, warm and heavy. No one had ever really said that before. That what you were feeling mattered. That you weren’t just overreacting.
Something in your chest cracked open, just a little.
“…I just don’t want to make a thing out of it,” you admitted, voice small.
Pedro’s features softened. He stepped closer, dipping his head slightly to meet your eyes. “You don’t have to,” he murmured. “But you don’t have to pretend it doesn’t bother you, either.”
A lump formed in your throat.
And then, just as easily as he had turned serious, he pulled back, tilting his head toward the restaurant. “C’mon. Food first, then we plot Cecilia’s demise.”
A laugh bubbled out of you before you could stop it.
Pedro grinned, pleased with himself, before nudging your shoulder with his own.
And as you walked the rest of the way, some of the weight on your chest didn’t feel quite so heavy anymore.
The restaurant was dimly lit, warm and intimate in a way that made the rest of the world feel far away. Soft jazz hummed through the air, mixing with the quiet murmur of conversation and the occasional clinking of glasses. The hostess greeted you both with a polite smile, barely sparing a glance at Pedro—either because she didn’t recognize him or, more likely, was being professional about it.
Pedro let you choose the table, and you picked one near the window, a cozy little booth that felt tucked away from the rest of the diners. As you slid into your seat, Pedro pulled off his cap, running a hand through his messy curls before setting it down on the table.
He looked… comfortable. Relaxed. And yet, there was still something unreadable in his expression as he watched you settle in.
“You know,” he started, leaning forward on his elbows, “I’m kind of mad at you.”
You blinked, caught off guard. “What? Why?”
“Because,” he huffed, “I’ve been trying to get you alone for days, and the first time it actually happens, it’s because some Mean Girls knockoff has been making your life miserable.”
You snorted. “So dramatic.”
“I am dramatic,” he agreed, eyes crinkling at the corners. “But seriously. I don’t like that it took this for me to get to steal you away.”
There was something in the way he said it—lighthearted, sure, but laced with something else. Something quieter. More honest.
Your stomach flipped.
Before you could figure out how to respond, the waiter appeared, handing over menus. Pedro thanked him with a charming smile before glancing back at you. “What are you in the mood for?”
You shrugged, scanning the options. “Something warm.”
Pedro hummed. “Soup?”
“Maybe.”
“Or,” he wiggled his eyebrows, “we get a huge plate of pasta and reenact Lady and the Tramp.”
You rolled your eyes, laughing. “Absolutely not.”
Pedro placed a hand over his heart in mock offense. “Wow. That was a little too fast. Like you’ve thought about rejecting me before.”
You bit your lip, trying to fight the smile threatening to break free. He made it so easy to forget the exhaustion pressing down on you, the weight of the last few days.
The waiter came back, and you both placed your orders—him getting some kind of hearty stew, you settling on a creamy pasta dish. The conversation flowed as effortlessly as ever, touching on everything and nothing all at once.
At some point, Pedro leaned back in his seat, stretching his legs out beneath the table. His knee brushed against yours, but he didn’t move away. Neither did you.
“So.” His voice was softer now, less teasing. “Cecilia.”
You sighed, slumping slightly. “Can we not?”
“We can,” Pedro allowed. “But I still hate it.”
You fiddled with the hem of your sleeve, tracing the fabric between your fingers. “It’s not like she’s saying anything outright cruel. Just little things. Looks. Comments. Stuff that doesn’t sound like much but still…”
Pedro’s jaw ticked. His fingers drummed absently against the table. “That’s how people like her work. They know how to make you feel like you’re imagining it.”
You swallowed, looking down. “Yeah.”
A beat of silence stretched between you. Then—
“Do you want me to talk to her?”
Your head snapped up. “What? No.”
Pedro tilted his head, eyeing you. “Why not?”
“Because,” you exhaled sharply, “I don’t need you to fight my battles.”
His gaze softened, a flicker of something fond in his eyes. “I know you don’t. But I also know that you’re tired. And I hate seeing you like this.”
Something in you wavered.
Pedro sighed, rubbing a hand over his jaw. “I just—God, I don’t get it. How could anyone not adore you?”
Your breath hitched.
The words were so sincere, so effortless, like he wasn’t even trying to be charming—just saying what was in his heart.
Heat crept up your neck. You looked away, focusing on the flickering candle in the middle of the table. “You’re biased.”
“Maybe,” he admitted. “But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”
You let out a breathy laugh, shaking your head. “You’re ridiculous.”
Pedro grinned. “And yet, here you are. Having dinner with me.”
“Unfortunately.”
He clutched his chest in mock agony. “You wound me.”
The waiter arrived with your food, and Pedro’s dramatic antics were temporarily forgotten as the delicious aroma filled the air. As you picked up your fork, he reached across the table, his fingers brushing against the back of your hand—just for a second, just long enough to send a small shiver up your spine.
“Hey,” he murmured.
You glanced up, and for the first time all day, you felt seen.
“Don’t let her get to you,” Pedro said, voice gentle but firm. “You’re worth so much more than whatever bullshit she’s trying to pull.”
Something tightened in your chest.
You swallowed, nodding. “Okay.”
Pedro studied you for a moment, then smiled. “Good.”
The weight on your shoulders didn’t disappear entirely, but it softened, melted into something manageable under the glow of candlelight and Pedro’s unwavering attention. You let yourself relax, let yourself exist in this small, intimate moment where it was just the two of you, where the laughter was easy and the warmth between you was something real, something steady.
Pedro caught your gaze mid-conversation, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he leaned in just slightly. “There she is.”
You blinked, tilting your head. “What?”
“That smile,” he said simply. “Haven’t seen it in a while.”
Heat bloomed in your chest, warm and unfamiliar, something delicate but deep. You rolled your eyes, but it lacked any real bite. “You’re ridiculous.”
“And yet,” Pedro teased, mirroring your words from earlier, “here you are.”
You shook your head, lips twitching. “Unfortunate, really.”
Pedro pressed a dramatic hand to his chest. “Wow. First, I get turned down for Lady and the Tramp, and now this? My ego is in shambles.”
You laughed, a real, unguarded sound, and he grinned like that was exactly what he was hoping for.
The conversation stretched long into the night, ebbing and flowing between playful teasing and quiet sincerity. The kind of talk that felt effortless, that felt safe.
Somewhere between the last bites of food and the soft hum of the restaurant around you, Pedro reached across the table, his fingers skimming yours. The touch was featherlight, a quiet question rather than a demand. You could have pulled away.
But you didn’t.
Instead, you let your fingers curl around his, grounding, steady.
Pedro didn’t say anything—he just squeezed your hand, a silent promise, and you squeezed back.
Outside, the night air was crisp, carrying the distant sounds of the city with it. The restaurant door shut softly behind you, leaving you and Pedro standing beneath the glow of streetlights, his cap pulled low, his glasses perched on his nose.
It should have felt different—stepping back into reality after the small bubble of warmth inside the restaurant. But somehow, it didn’t.
Pedro rocked back on his heels, hands tucked into his pockets. “Still okay?”
You exhaled, watching as your breath curled into the night air. “Yeah,” you admitted, surprising yourself. “I think I am.”
Pedro studied you for a beat, then nodded, satisfied.
It turns out Vanessa, Coco, Joseph and Ebon got dinner somewhere else in town away from the two of you and they were waiting already in the shuttle and as soon as you both stepped inside, the teasing started. “Ohhh, look who finally decided to show up,” Vanessa sang, kicking her feet up on the seat in front of her, eyes sparkling with mischief.
Joseph smirked from his spot by the window, arms crossed over his chest. “How romantic was it, really? Scale of one to ten?”
Coco grinned. “I’m betting solid eight.” Ebon scoffed. “Nah, Pedro’s smooth—at least a nine.” Pedro sighed dramatically, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You guys seriously have nothing better to do?” Vanessa waved a hand. “Nope. Now spill.” You rolled your eyes, buckling your seatbelt as the van pulled away from the curb. “We ate dinner. Like normal people. And then we walked outside. Like normal people.” Coco squinted. “That’s exactly what someone who did kiss would say.” Pedro groaned, leaning his head back against the seat, while you fought the smile tugging at your lips. Joseph held out his hands. “Okay, okay, let’s be serious for a second. Was it cute at least?” You blinked at him. “Was what cute?” “The date—” “It wasn’t a date,” you and Pedro said at the same time. A pause.
Then Vanessa gasped, clutching her chest. “You’re already finishing each other’s sentences?” “Oh my God,” Pedro mumbled under his breath. The laughter rolled through the van, easy and infectious, and despite the relentless teasing, despite the way your face burned under their knowing looks, you couldn’t help but feel… good.
The knot in your chest—the one that had been coiled so tight these past few days—had loosened. Maybe not completely, but enough that breathing didn’t feel so hard. Pedro shifted beside you, turning his head so only you could hear him. “They’re never gonna let this go.” You sighed. “Yeah. I figured.” His shoulder brushed yours, a quiet reassurance, and when he spoke again, there was something soft in his voice. “You sure you’re okay?” You hesitated. Because truthfully, the weight of the past few days still sat heavy on your shoulders. Cecilia had made sure of that. The quiet digs, the passive-aggressive comments, the knowing smirks—it was a kind of exhaustion that seeped into your bones. But right now, in the warmth of this moment, with Pedro looking at you like he actually cared about the answer, you found yourself saying— “I think I will be.” Pedro studied you for a beat, then nodded, satisfied. It was a small thing—just a simple gesture, barely more than a shift of his head. But somehow, it carried more weight than it should have, like he was silently saying I see you. I hear you. You swallowed. It was nice to have a friend. But then—was that all this was? You glanced at him again, at the way he was sat with you so easily, like he’d always been meant to be there. At the way he felt beside you, like a quiet anchor in the storm of the last few days.
End Notes:
I told you there would be drama O_O
Again, no hate to any girlie named Cecilia, everyone calm.
Don’t worry girlies�� it will turn out fine, mostly… I think… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
YA'LL SEEN THE TEASER TRAILER!?!?!? IM UNWELL AND DYING AND SO EXCITED AND I WANT TO MELT AND DIE VANESSA KIRBY YOU LUCKY WOMAN I WANNA KISS HIM TOO T^T
TAGLIST: @comfortzonequeen @christinamadsen @liciafonseca @greenwitchfromthewoods @iqr-x @southernbe @maryfanson @brittmb115 @klajmekk @taytay0403 @whimsiwitchy @zymiii @sarahhxx03 @leilanixx @lilasskicker-23 @https-murdock @barnescamboy
#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fan fiction#pedro pascal gifs#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x f!reader#pedro pascal x reader masterlist#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x ofc#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal x plus size reader#pedro pascal x female reader#pedro pascal x fem!reader#pedro pascal series masterlist
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Seeing Stars 1
Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes
Summary: You struggle to be star struck by the world's most famous super soldiers. (grumpy!short!reader)
Note: Guess this is happening.
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
The lights, the noise, the crowd, it's all a bit much. You move out of the way of another Red, or, Black Widow cosplayer only to nearly bump into a rather short but broad Thor. At least, you think you have those right. You don't know. Bonita is more into this stuff. You're more here for moral support, or more realistically, to carry her bags.
Didn't she tell you she was trying to cut down her spending? You've already tallied up more than you'd spend on groceries on a single poster and a bobblehead hero. Which one was that? The one with the metal arm…
You jostle against Bonita to keep from brushing against a stranger. You're not much for human contact as it is, but you'd rather it be here than that guy in the Spiderboy outfit doing twirls. You can respect the passion but it's all over the top. Someone's going to get hurt.
"Alright, signature time!" Bonita claps her hands and leads you over to a long queue behind a velvet cord. A man in black asks for her VIP pass. She shows it and you see the not so subtle total on the receipt; $500! That's robbery. These Stark Industries-issued heroes don't need all that.
You keep your grumbles to yourself and cross your arms to follow her. The man stops you too. You reel back and give him a glower.
"Relax, I'm carrying milady's things," you raise the bag and bobblehead. "I'm not interested in having a class photo."
"Please, sir, she's not really into any of this," Bonita adds with a cute smile. He considers her and drops his shoulders. He waves you through.
You shuffle along with the line of bodies. You lean to the side as you try to see the front. It zigzags back and forth. You're going to be here forever.
"Why couldn't Mo come with again?" You drone.
"Because he's a butthead," she whines. "Couldn't even pay me back for getting the tickets on pre-sale so he can miss out!"
"I didn't pay either," you mutter.
"Yes, but you're more fun. My brother's spoiled. He deserves it."
You nod and move with her as the queue shifts again. It's easy for her to come out and spend all this money. She still lives at home. You're not judging her but she also doesn't seem ashamed of it either. As happy as you'd been when you got out on your own, you sometimes wonder what it'd be like to have people to fall back on.
"It's going to be so cool. I got a photo with both of them! EEEEE!" Her squeal has you touching your earlobes.
"Both of them," you nod dully.
"Captain America and the Winter Soldier," she exclaims and claps her hands. "Do you think they'll like my outfit?"
You look her up and down. She wears a star-spangled corset and a red and white striped skirt. She's like an excitable flag. You shrug. "It's cute, but you must be cold in here," you peer up at the high-ceilings and the fans swirling the air around.
"Nope! Too excited," she assures you.
"Cool."
You might not be into any of this but you try to be a supportive friend. Bonita's a bit flighty but she's not a bad person. Really, you admire how into things she gets. You have your things but she's about as interested in those as you are in super soldiers.
She chatters on about the photo. Do you think they'll sign it too? Oh, she needs to put it right above her desk. Obviously, it's going to be her phone background. You nod and peer around vaguely.
She thrives in place likes these. Bright, loud, and chaotic. You'll take something warm to drink and a book. She'll join you if you throw in some face masks and the like.
It's more than hour before you're in sight of the front table. Your feet hurt from standing mostly in one spot. You stretch your neck one-way than the other as you near the head of the line. You stand right by the stanchion where the cord opens.
Someone emerges from behind the curtain and you have to quickly step out the bouncing soldier's way. Is it considered stolen valour or an homage? As you move, your elbow hits someone else and you spin to face the unexpected figure.
"Oh," the man catches your elbow as you look up at him. Dark beard, dark hair past his chin, wide shoulders, and straight posture. His blue eyes seem familiar. "Sorry, miss. I'm just trying to get back to my station."
You sidle closer to Bonita as she gasps. The man brushes his fingertips down your sleeve as he passes and heads for the table. He stops to speak with the person handing out merch then proceeds behind the curtain where the flashes have been steadily flickering behind.
"Gosh, can you believe that?"
"Believe what?" You stare after him.
"That was him. Bucky Barnes. The Winter Soldier," she exclaims. You blink at her and she scoffs.
"God, you're so lame. I can't believe you had no idea."
"I dunno," you pop your shoulders up and down. "Not my thing but that's cool."
"Oop!" She hops on her toes as the person at the table calls for the next in line, "that's me."
"Have fun," you say as you move aside with her haul.
She skips up to the table and shows her phone again. She takes the SWAG they offer her as they explain the next step and point behind the curtain. As she disappears behind it, you hear her squeal. You wonder if super soldiers have super hearing. That must've hurt.
You sway as you wait. Your name cuts through the air as you space out staring at a banner and you look over as Bonita waves from behind the curtain. You hesitantly cross the floor, expecting to be stopped.
"They want you to join!" She says.
"What?" You stop a foot away from her head as it appears to float between the curtains.
"Sure. They said why not? Since you waited in line."
"Oh, no that's… fine. I'll stay out here."
"Come on," she huffs and grabs your wrist, dragging you through. "Here she is!"
You step through and scan the space. There's the photographer patiently waiting behind the camera. Across from the lens, two large men stand with smiles that you can tell are all for show. This is a paid appearance for them.
"Hey, how about it?" The blond asks and beckons you over.
"I guess if you want me too, Bonnie," you say to your friend without acknowledge the man you know to be Captain America.
She brings you over with her and stands you between her and the brown-haired sidekick. Bucky steps closer and you wince as his hand goes to your lower back. You suppose it's normal given that you're getting photos but you want nothing more than to growl at him.
"Alright, everyone set?" The photographer looks at the camera and adjusts the lens. "Smile."
The flash goes as you refuse to follow orders. You're not much on smiling. You stand there like a mannequin as your vision speckles from the light.
"Oh, Steve, um, will you pick me up for the next one?" Bonita asks. You cringe and step away from Bucky's hand. He looms close as you squirm.
"Sure," Steve accepts breezily. He lifts her with no effort at all as you give a skeptical look.
"How about you?" Bucky touches your arm again and you draw away reflexively.
"No thanks," you curl your shoulders inward as you try to shrink down. "I'm good."
"Alright," the photographer says, "everyone together."
"Um, I think I'm going to step out, actually--"
Too late. Bucky puts his arm over your shoulders and crowds you as Bonita poses in Steve's arms. Your eyes round in horror and the camera blinds you again. She's really going to owe you for this one.
#steve rogers#dark steve rogers#dark!steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#series#drabble#bucky barnes#dark bucky barnes#dark!bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#mcu#marvel#captain america#winter soldier#avengers
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Back For More | J.WW



+ summary: while adjusting to your new life in college, you couldn't help but attract the attention of wonwoo, someone who you happen to have a history with.
+ pairing: badboy!wonwoo x fem!reader
+ word count: 2.7k
+ content: badboy!wonwoo, college au, mature language, flirting (wonwoo is a menace), jealousy. [pls let me know if i missed anything!]
HC | Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV
[ᝰ.ᐟ] i hope you guys enjoy this! it's most likely going to be a two-parter so definitely let me know if you want to be added to my taglist! i would greatly appreciate it if you guys reblogged (maybe with comments too ^^) since i thrive on your guys' validation :)

You were tired, very tired.
Granted, this was your own doing. Maybe if you hadn't pushed your responsibilities to the side last night you wouldn't have had to wake up so early to study for an exam, but what's done is done. This whole college thing was not going so well, to say the least. Sure, it's only the beginning of the second semester, but you already feel exhausted by all of your class workloads.
Just ten more minutes of this boring lecture and you could finally go home and crawl into bed. But… that's only if you avoid him today. Which now that you’re thinking about it, you hope he isn’t waiting for you outside, again. That would be the last thing you needed today.
With that being said, things have felt a little weird if you were being honest. Of course, this was your first year of university, so things were bound to feel new and different. But there was something, or rather someone that was making you feel strange.
Around two weeks ago you noticed that Wonwoo, an old classmate of yours, had recently started to become a bit friendly towards you. While that normally wouldn’t be considered weird, you couldn’t help but feel skeptical about his intentions. You knew the kind of people he surrounded himself with, and especially the girls he would go after; which was the exact opposite of you. So what exactly did he want from you?
What also makes this situation more odd is that you’ve basically known Wonwoo for your whole life. Of course, you don’t actually know him, you just happened to go to the same elementary, middle, and high school (which is insane if you think about it). Acquaintance is a perfect word to describe your relationship with him, nothing more nothing less. So yeah… it’s a little weird when the guy you have been around for (almost) your whole life is suddenly trying to befriend you, there definitely had to be something wrong with him.
All you knew about Wonwoo was that he was on the more reserved and quiet side; mainly keeping to himself most of the time. His group of friends was quite the opposite of him, which always made you wonder how he even became friends with them in the first place.
Seeing how the lecture was ending soon, you started to pack your stuff; you were more than ready to dash straight out of the classroom. Having finished all of your assignments for today, you had nothing left to worry about. So once the professor had made her goodbyes, you made a straight beeline to the door, nothing was going to hold you back from your long-awaited nap. Your pace was brisk, attempting to avoid the backed-up main exit, you decided to go to the opposite door. The walk back to your apartment wasn’t too bad either, most of the time you saw it as a way to daydream and listen to music. So while you scrolled through your various playlists, you happened to miss the (very obvious) figure following you.
Wonwoo called out your name a few times until it finally dawned on him that you had your headphones on. He took a few long strides to catch up to you; he was very adamant on getting your attention this morning. With ease, he quickly plucked your headphones off of your head.
“What are we listening to today?” He said while adjusting the headphones on his head. It took you a second to fully process what he was doing. You knew he was doing it to provoke you, but you were determined to not let that happen today. So to his surprise, you simply kept walking. You figured that he would continue with his antics if you gave him the reaction that he wanted so you did the opposite, you ignored him.
What shocked him the most was seeing you pull out an old pair of earbuds and plugging them into your phone. He was dumbfounded to say the least, how were you so prepared and why were you ignoring him?
And again, he quickly caught up with a few simple steps. He took your headphones off of his head and tapped them against your shoulder.
With a tired sigh, you turned around to face him but couldn’t help but admire his face. You really didn't want to lose that ‘expressionless’ look you were going for (to help you ignore him of course), but that small smile of his was enough to crack you down. It's like he knew that it was your one weakness when it came to him. This was the most annoying part of it all. Anytime he smiled or looked at you, a tiny part inside you secretly liked it, making you crave his attention at times.
Objectively speaking, Wonwoo was very handsome. That was something you could never deny, you would even go as far as to say that he was your type but you didn't particularly like the people he called his ‘friends’ so you were stuck in a weird limbo.
“Is there something on my face, birdy?”
You scoffed at the nickname. “I told you not to call me that.”
Wonwoo’s eyes were looking straight into yours, a smirk slowly creeping up to his lips. It didn't help that he was looking really good today either, his messy hair combined with the whole biker fit did wonders for your eyes. He was about to say something before you heard your ringtone go off, evidently cutting him off.
Oh.
It was Hyunwoo. That's odd... you finished your shared project with him rather early, what could he be calling you about? Either way, you answered the random call in front of a rather annoyed Wonwoo.
"Hello?"
"Heyyy yn, I was wondering if you wanted to get lunch later today?" You couldn't help but feel your eyes widen at his sudden question. Since when did he want to hang out with you? Last time you checked he had a plethora of girls that he was talking to... maybe he was interested in you? No, you shouldn't get too ahead of yourself...
"Um... let me check if I have anything to do first. Can I call you back?" You knew that you sounded nervous but how else were you supposed to feel when the cute guy from your physics class was literally asking you to eat lunch with him?
As soon as you ended the call, you felt Wonwoo's arm snake its way down to your waist. You couldn’t help but yelp at the sudden intimate contact. Chuckling at your reaction, he leaned down, closer to your ear. “Who was that?”
"No one." You stated simply, it wasn't his business anyway.
"Hm, okay," Wonwoo rested his head on your shoulder, continuing to speak lowly in your ear. "I'll remember that birdy."
Before you could even come up with something to counter him, he decided to speak up once again.
"Well, I do have something rather important to tell you." His voice was so calm and soothing, you could honestly listen to it for hours on end if you had the chance.
"What is it?" You hoped he couldn't sense your rather, embarrassing, curiosity.
"Heard you used to have a little crush on me," his voice was evidently smug, knowing that this would surely get a rise out of you.
Which it did.
Your face burned at the memories of when you used to have a crush on Wonwoo. But, that had to be in fourth grade… so how could he have known about that? Nonetheless, you scoffed at his statement, not wanting to know that you were a little embarrassed by the sudden reminder.
“Key word, had,” you rolled your eyes at him. This did make you curious though, who could have possibly told him that? So you asked him exactly that.
“How do you even know about that?” His smile never faltered even as you lightly pushed his hand away from your waist. If anything, this made him want to touch you even more.
“I have my ways,” he stated simply. Of course, he does. You hated when he would shrug things off, now this was going to bother you for the entire week!
One thing about Wonwoo was that he has always been curious about you, this interest stemming back all the way to your elementary days. This curiosity eventually intensified in junior year of high school when you began to show your blatant distaste towards him. He just had to get to know you.
He looked down at you, his face was unreadable like always. You never knew what was going on in that mind of his.
"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be hanging out with your actual friends?" Sometimes you couldn't help but blurt out your thoughts to him even if they sounded a bit rude. His face faltered for a split second, probably caught off guard by the random question. Shoot, you really didn’t mean to say that out loud. Although, it looks like Wonwoo didn’t take any offense to your sudden question. If anything, it made him... smile?
“I am hanging out with my friend,” he stopped you to face him, “which is you.” You rolled your eyes at him. That had to be the corniest thing he has ever said to you if you were being honest. You just hated that giddy feeling he would give you any time he said something remotely cheesy.
"Ugh, you're so dumb," you groaned while checking the time on your phone. It was getting close to noon and you hadn't responded to Hyunwoo's question from earlier. Maybe it was best if you didn't go... who knows what he wanted from you. If you were being completely honest, you didn't know if you had it in you to see other people at the moment, aside from Wonwoo of course.
"Have somewhere to be?" Wonwoo asked, a hint of concern peeking through his voice.
"No, thank god, but I do have a scheduled nap to get to so if you don't mind-" you were cut off by the sound of an engine revving, making your body jump at the unexpected noise. You turned to see where the source of the commotion was coming from but then realized it was coming from a group of bikers nearby; most likely Wonwoo's friends.
Or so you thought?
Wonwoo didn't seem too pleased with the group that was getting closer to where the two of you were. On the contrary, Wonwoo looked pissed. His jaw was visibly clenched, the gentle grip he had on your waist tightened, and his eyes lost that playful spark he had earlier. You couldn't help but feel guilty for thinking about how hot Wonwoo looked when he was angry. Of course, you would never want to be on the receiving end of his anger but seeing it on the sidelines was quite... interesting.
Wait. This might actually be serious, so it's best if you leave before anything crazy happens.
"I think I'm going to head out now..." you said quietly as you tried to slip away from Wonwoo's (awfully) strong grasp.
He turned to look at you, his eyes softening once they landed on your figure. Why did they have to come and bother him at this exact moment? He knew that whatever was going to happen was not going to be pretty, but he found himself reluctant to let you go.
Before truly letting you go, he quietly asked, "Are you sure? I can take you home if you want me to." As soft as his voice was, he still managed to sound composed which was comforting considering the situation.
You nodded in response, "I don't live that far from here so it's fine, thank you for the offer though." You managed to flash him a small, awkward smile before turning away from him and heading toward the direction of your apartment. You didn't know what exactly was going on between those guys and Wonwoo but it for sure wasn't friendly. Although it wasn't exactly your issue, you couldn't help but feel worried about Wonwoo, even if he was a pain in the ass sometimes.
Much to your dismay, that scheduled nap never came your way that day.
You blame Wonwoo, how were you supposed to sleep peacefully knowing he was probably getting jumped? Okay, you might be jumping to conclusions but what else were you supposed to think about when he was visibly angry at the mere sight of those guys?
Realistically speaking, it's only been two days since that whole incident happened. Granted, you haven't seen Wonwoo since then but that could mean a lot of things.
[...]
While you were in line to get a smoothie from one of the pop-up shops near the campus, you felt a sudden tap on your shoulder.
"Did my little birdy miss me?" You felt Wonwoo say right next to your ear, his breath fanning across your earlobe. It sent a wave of tingles down your spine, making you shudder in turn. Though you weren't a fan of his spontaneous appearance.
"God, you need to stop doing that! I almost slapped you I swear-" You stopped mid-way once you turned around and saw his face. He had a few cuts on his lips and eyebrows and one big bruise across his cheek. Those guys really did a number on him.
Your eyebrows furrowed in concern, "are you okay?"
He tried to wave it off but you could tell he was bothered by your question, "It's fine, really, don't worry about it." Was he insane? How were you not going to worry when he was visibly injured?
"Were these from the guys on Tuesday?" You couldn't help but ask, where else would he get these cuts and bruises if it didn't come from them?
His demeanor immediately switched and he pushed himself away from you.
"It's none of your business so stay out of it."
"Okay." That was the only thing you said before grabbing your smoothie from the worker and quickly walking away from the shop. If he wanted to be like that then so be it. You most definitely were not going to wait for him to 'open up' by all means, he could throw himself a pity party for all you care.
"Wait-" He tried reaching for your arm but you were too quick for him. Your steps were swift, helping you create a reasonable distance between you and Wonwoo. He called out your name a few times before giving up, he didn't want to gather any unwanted attention from the people nearby. Reaching your pace, Wonwoo was finally close enough to grab your wrist and make you look at him.
"Are you seriously ignoring me?" His voice was a bit jagged, no doubt coming from the unexpected cardio you made him do to catch up to you.
Unfortunately for him, you were petty. "You said it wasn't my business, so please do not talk to me because I really do not care." You brushed past him once again this time making sure he could not grab your arms or wrists.
He exhaled in annoyance, "Look I'm sorry-" Wonwoo was mid-apology before being abruptly cut off by the voice of a guy yelling your name out loud.
Speaking of the devil, what immaculate timing.
"Hey yn! Did you still want to get food after class?" Hyunwoo jogged to where you were standing but saw how Wonwoo was still trying to talk to you.
"Sorry, were you busy with him?"
You instantly responded to Hyunwoo, "No, he was just asking for directions, but yeah I'm down for food." Like before, you made your way towards Hyunwoo, making sure to bump into Wonwoo. He couldn't help but stay frozen in place as he watched you walk to class with some random guy, jealousy slowly invading his mind.
Directions? Did she really...?
As much as Wonwoo wanted to be mad at you, he really had no one to blame but himself. The whole situation with his old group of 'friends' was really getting to him so once you popped that question it just seemed to send him over the edge. He just didn't know how far you would go to express your annoyance towards him. Now all he had to do was find a way to properly apologize to you before that Hyunwoo guy got to you first.
The only thing stopping him? He didn't have your number or any of your socials...
[Part Two: II]
#wonwoo x reader#wonwoo fanfic#wonwoo imagines#wonwoo scenarios#svt x reader#svt fanfic#svt fic#svt scenarios#svt imagines#seventeen fanfiction#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#seventeen#svt#jeon wonwoo#jeon wonwoo x reader#jeon wonwoo imagines#wonwoo fic#wonwoo smut#svt smut#luv!writes#kyeomofhearts
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『♡』 Losing Game

♡ featuring: ajax x f!reader
♡ summary: simmering feelings boil over as you're confronted by the man you hate the most; tartaglia, your boss. wc: 3.1k+
♡ cw/tw: afab, degradation, humiliation, creampie, squirting, light choking, sadism, throat-fucking, cum play, fingering, overstimulation, brat taming, mind break, pet names (doll, baby)
notes: hiii, the positive response from the last one motivated me to get this done just in time for Fontaine. kinda long this time so sorry abt that. ajax my beloved <3 art by sonomi_rap5 on twitter comments and reblogs are appreciated!

Working for the fatui wasn’t easy in the slightest, especially when you aren’t on harbinger status. You were sent on long, grueling tasks only to be met with loose interpretations of gratitude and sometimes silence from the higher-ups, in which most wouldn’t even glance in your direction. Pleasant beginnings became a sour afterthought, and your perception of the fatui changed drastically. Your grievances, however, weren’t helped by your quick-witted snappy attitude and competitiveness; Presumably why you ended up under the division of Tartaglia. You assumed a binding contract from the capricious redhead wouldn’t mean much, but that was quickly proven false.
You'd rather climb every mountain in Snezhnaya than spend a minute talking to that airhead. He was instructed to keep a watchful eye on you during missions despite the competence you demonstrated. It was insulting. Anything he did you could do better. It’d been proven multiple times from the petty challenges you created. How much water you could drink, how long you can stay up. You won every time. How could you not hate him? His feigned ignorance and careless flirtations were enough to drive you mad. “Please, call me Ajax” he’d say, winking. The simpering smile he gave you after every comeback shot daggers in your pride. What made you particularly furious was the incessant drum of your heart whenever he was near you. The warm autumn morning that was his hair. The cool still waves his eyes sent to your core. You couldn’t fall for him, or else he’d have one up on you. You had to be stronger than that. You quelled your stress in a tattered journal gifted years ago.
“Hey, comrade!” His bubbly tone makes knots in your stomach, and you choose to stay silent. You’re hoping this mission will go without a hitch, as long as he doesn’t get in your way. Ajax lets out a teasing whistle.
“Yeesh, tough crowd.” As you’re collecting the items needed for the deal, he rocks back and forth on his heels directly in front of you, absent-mindedly watching.
You whip your head to face him, “You can’t see I’m doing something right now?”
“Oh, I see what you’re doing. But this isn’t entertaining.”
“Unlike you, your majesty, I have no choice but to be perfect. I apologize if that’s not exciting enough for you.” You retort with sarcastic curtsy.
“Haha! You’re always a pleasure to be around, (Y/N). My faithful, kind-hearted companion.” he said with a taunting wink. You're beyond flustered, haphazardly stuffing the remains in your bag and lugging it over your shoulder.
“Let's go.” You say lazily. He follows closely, arms crossed behind his head. “Calling me like a dog, how romantic.”
“If you don’t want to be called like a dog stop acting like one.”
“You could at least give me a treat if I'm gonna be your dog.” He looks at you, making his best impression of puppy-eyes. You bite back a few choice words, and glare at him instead. He isn’t fazed by this and flashes a beguiling smile that makes your ears warm. Glancing at the weight you’re shouldering, he comments, “You sure you don’t need any help with that?”
“No. The last person I need help from is you.”
You and Ajax regroup in an alleyway deep in Fontaine’s bustling city. You are assigned to retrieve a rare gem for one of Pantalone’s elaborate schemes, and you quickly prepare yourself for this interaction. Ajax studies you, leaning against one of the walls.
“Can’t you be a little nicer to your superior? If it wasn’t for me, you’d be in a lot of trouble half the time. You’re welcome.” You scoff. “I don’t know why you’re here in the first place, I have no problem doing this on my own.”
“I’m sure. Don’t mind me, Ms. Independent.” A sly smirk crawled up his face. “Fucking asshole” you mumble under your breath. “I didn’t catch that. Can you repeat it?”
“I said you’re a fucking asshole.” After a few moments of silence, Ajax grips his chest in feigned agony. “Ouch. I’m gutted!”
Just as you're about to leave, he snatches your wrist, now only mere inches away from your face. His hand gently brushes away the strays of hair on your forehead. “There you go, doll. Gotta be perfect for your debut.” A whirlwind of emotions strangles your ability to think clearly, you pull your wrist away and start speed walking, attempting to gather yourself before you get to the jewelry store.
You enter the empty store and are immediately confronted by the jeweler.
“Good afternoon, ma’am. Do you have an appointment?” You proclaim your business and appointment under a fake identity, posturing yourself as wealthy. “May I see identification please.” Of course, you say. As you’re looking through your purse you notice something: there’s no identification here. Surely you weren’t that negligent over something so simple. You rummaged through the other compartments, trying to stay calm in front of an increasingly concerned jeweler. But it’s not there. How is this possible. Your nerves are heightened and the anxiety of failing the mission starts to creep in. “I made an appointment with Lottie; she’ll be able to provide reference. I believe I left my passport at home.” The jeweler seems slightly disappointed. “Unfortunately, ma’am, I am not allowed to present any gems without identification.” Your heart beats faster. “Well, sir, I’m very busy and I’m afraid this is my only chance to close on this item. You wouldn’t want to push away a well-paying customer.”
“I have no choice in the matter. If you have no proof of identification, I must ask you to leave.” Should I take it by force? You thought, thinking about the next possible option. As you’re about to handle the rest physically, the door swings open. Ajax comes up to you, placing his arm around your waist.
“My love, were you able to get the gem we were discussing?” You’re annoyed, but you improvise and look at him as if he’s the love of your life. “Not yet, dear.” Suddenly, he places a plush kiss on your lips. You’re stunned and speechless, filled with anger and wanting.
The jeweler interjects. “And are you the husband? Would you happen to have any identification.”
“Yes, sir.” Ajax pulls out a passport and fake birth certificate unbeknownst to you and begins to close the deal. The rest of the meeting you sit speechless.
“Thank you for your patronage.” are the last words you hear as you leave the store, Ajax guiding you with his hand. You’re silent the whole way back to your room.
You turn your bag upside down and begin looking for the mismatched documents. All while Ajax stares at you expectingly. You ignore his presence.
“So... how about a ‘you’re welcome?’”
“For what.”
He lets out a mocking laugh. “For what? I don’t know, maybe saving your ass back there? You froze, and you were unprepared, Ms. Independent.”
“I wouldn’t have forgotten it if it wasn’t for the obnoxious bullshit you did this morning.”
“That’s dishonest, I wasn’t even talking!” he pretends to be hurt. “Admit that you need me.”
“Fuck off.”
“No.” His light-hearted inflection vexes you and makes it hard for you to focus as you read through the mountains of pages in your folder.
While your head is down, Ajax comes across the tattered notebook just peeking out from under the bed. Storing the months—no years—of feelings you had regarding the fatui. Regarding him. Some time passes and you finally raise your head, met with the horrifying reveal of him skimming through the journal, mischief coating the deep void in his eyes. You spring up and reach for the book but he’s faster, grabbing your arms and pinning them above your head.
“This is really good stuff... really good.” You shout profanities over and over, anything to get his attention away from the book. But he continues to read as if you’re not there. When he’s done reading, he lets you go, and you instantly try to swing at him. Before you can land a hit, he grabs you by the throat and stares into your soul, almost as if he’s trying to swallow your being.
“You’ve been acting like a little fucking brat all over a crush? Not very big girl of you.”
“I know you think you’re beyond charming, but I promise you don’t have that effect on me.”
“Really? Let’s play a game then.” He knew you’d accept just to beat him at anything.
“If you don’t cum by the end of this journal, I’ll apologize for everything. I’ll do whatever you want. But if I win-” he steps closer to you, “You have to do everything I say.”
You almost burst out laughing. Such an easy challenge, how hard could it be?
You're panting, trying your hardest to focus on the words that seemed to melt off the page. Your back lays comfortably against his chest, with his legs keeping yours spread.
“Next page, baby.”
“Don’t call me that.” Your words are lenient and breathy. Your underwear is still on, but Ajax’s fingers are covered in your slick, playing with the erect nub just enough to make you fuzzy. “You look like you’re tapping out.”
“This? This is nothing” You respond meekly, continuing the reading.
“I can’t help but have fe-elings for himph.”
“There’s some nice things about me in here, why aren’t you always like this?” He says, circling and dipping into your gushy folds, smearing the glossy mess all over your vulva. You try so hard to read the letters, squirming from his touch. The sensation pulsing from your clit to your brain made you incoherent; the more you move, the more he moves. The contents of the journal are humiliating, detailing your romantic and sexual attraction towards Ajax, and your attempts to stifle these feelings. He was getting a kick out of seeing your flustered face stammer over his appearance. He plays with the precum glazing his fingers, widening them to watch the trail it left. Only two more pages left.
“I-I-” You couldn’t get through the first sentence on the last page. Your thighs are trembling, and your pussy began to twitch. “Uh, s-shit. Ajax, wai-.” He trails his fingers over your clit spelling his name, then pushes two inside, fighting back an amused grin. “You’re almost done” Teasing in your ear. You bite back the moans threatening to escape; at the very least you couldn’t give him that satisfaction. He watches you fall apart, shaking more aggressively before your body gives in and you cum on his fingers.
“Uh oh, that’s unfortunate.” You try your best to catch your breath, but he rides out your orgasm, making you subconsciously grind yourself into his palm. Then you’re struck with the reality of losing. He licks his fingers clean, eyes rolling back from the taste. “So fucking good, does being a bitch make you taste better?” You were too embarrassed from the loss to retort. “You won.”
“I did.” He lifts you off the bed and onto the floor, your legs still recovering. He hikes your shirt up, trailing kisses up your stomach until he gets to your nipples. He flicks and sucks one while kneading the other one, occasionally biting the slightly bruising flesh. “Not gonna moan for me, huh baby?”
“Not in the slightest.” You rasped. He smiles and blows cool air on your tits, sending a rippling feeling down your back. “That’s okay, you’ll give in.”
Ajax unbuttons his pants, and they drop in front of you. Unsheathing his thick throbbing length, drooling with desire. His balls are full and heavy, and as you look up at him his eyes are clouded with lust. The pretty freckles that dotted his arms and chest are much more visible now, and so are his battle scars. He breathed in deep, "take care of this for me, yeah?” You wanted to say no and say fuck this; but there was another side that wanted him desperately, that needed this.
You force your jaw open to accommodate his size and push yourself halfway on his girth, feeling his cockhead hit the back of your throat. Once you feel like you got it in, you slobber all over his cock, dampening his balls and begin to bob your head. You stroke with one hand and massage his sack with the other, leading to a breathy whimper from him. “Ah fuck, feels good. Suck it slow, slut.” You begin to move faster while cupping his balls, obscene noises leaving your sopping mouth. You have tears running down your sweating face trying to keep up with the vigorous movement of your tongue. You feel him throb a few times, his moans and grunting getting progressively louder.
“Need more” is all he says, putting one of his legs on the bed and grabbing both sides of your head. Before you can register what’s happening. Ajax pushes your head onto his cock until your nose reaches his pubes. He lets out a breathy sigh and starts throat fucking you with an animalistic grip. The gagging and spit noises echo off the walls, along with his continuous whimpering. You wanted to hate him, but your blood was buzzing, and your panties were drenched. “Shut up and take it” followed by broken fuck’s and yes’s. He threw his head back, hair slicked and torso gleaming with sweat, “look at me.” You reluctantly look up, addicted to his passionate expression. “I want you looking at me when I cum.” You grip his thighs, and he twitches a few times before spurting white, thick cum down your throat. He pulls out slightly to drag his semen over your lips and then taps it on your face, holding you in place.
“What are you doing? Clean me up.” he husked. You clean him up without complaint and lick your lips, forced to maintain eye contact with him the entire way.
In one swoop, Ajax picks you up and throws you on the bed, eager to get your underwear off. “You proved your point, stop being an ass" you slurred out. The room was intoxicating, all you could smell and feel was him. He takes your panties off, spreading your pussy to watch the slippery puddle dribble down your thighs. He shoves your panties in your mouth, “Fucking liar, I know you like it. Can’t taste how wet you are?” He aligns himself with your aching hole, keeping your arch steady with you bent over. Shoving his cock in, moaning from the feeling of your body perfectly molding for him. Ajax starts moving at a rapid pace quickly, his big slender hands tightly gripping your ass. The sound of wet sticky skin slapping together and the squelching from your core made you shudder. It was all too much; you have been teetering on an orgasm since you went down on him, and the way his balls thump your clit make you quiver.
“Whiny brat. Just needed to be fucked good to shut up, yeah?” he groaned through his words. Tears were coming down your eyes now, you can’t tell if he’s edging you by accident or on purpose. But right now, you’d do anything. He turns your head to face him, gazing at your tear-stricken face. “Aww, you cryin’ for me?” He stops to kiss and lick your tears, delighted by your tenderness. Taking the panties out your mouth, he brings your body flush with his and continues to pump inside with you looking at him.
“So sweet all of a sudden, where’d that attitude go?” The morals you had for moaning went missing and mewls and soft whimpers began to leave you. “Let it out, baby.” You’re suddenly babbling please’s begging for him to let you have it. “Pathetic, can’t even get off on your own. You need me that bad?” You nod repeatedly, dangerously close to your release. He had a dark look in his eyes and a sinful smirk. “Yeah? Okay, you’ve been so good.” He reaches down and starts to rub your clit ceaselessly, kissing your cheek. Your whimpers become loud shaky moans and he finally lets you have it, shockwaves going through your body as you’re dissolved into pleasure. You pulsate through the explosion, jello-brain and boneless as your cum leaks down his thighs. Just as he pulls out and flips you over. You’re dizzy and drunk off him, legs shaking indefinitely from the intensity. Then he puts it back in. “You can take one more, yeah baby?” Your overstimulated and violent shaking wasn’t enough for him to stop. He wanted you ruined. He keeps going, grabbing your face to kiss you deeply, tongues intertwining with each other. He feeds you deep strokes, tip prodding your spot every time and watching as your tits bounce. You throw your head back, eyes rolling to the back of your skull. You have no thoughts, only his name rings in your head. You can feel the coil inside you winding up, pleasure beyond the searing pain of your swollen pussy. He looks down at you and smiles.
“Look at me." You can’t hear anything at this point, not even the sound of your own voice. So, it’s a pleasant surprise when your voice carries his name, “Ajax, Ajax”, chanting as if he’s your god. “Fuck. Gonna cum. Let it out. baby” he says grinning. You’re clamping him so tight and throbbing until you ultimately shatter with him, releasing a stream of squirt onto him and the sheets. He bucks into you, letting out thick spurts, panting heavily as he watches you in disarray. You instinctively hold on to his arms, trembling uncontrollably as you try to search for breath and ride it out. You’re completely hysterical and sobbing from the emotion it ripped into you. You were in shambles and Ajax couldn’t help but smile out of happiness for what he caused. “I’m so sorry.” you say repeatedly, eyes shut and lined with tears. He got closer to wrap you in his arms, and you cling to him for stability. “It’s okay, I’m here for you.”
You didn’t want to talk about it when you woke up. You were hoping he’d be gone, and therefore wouldn’t have to deal with the humiliation. But there he was, watching you sleep just as the sun rose. His ginger hair danced with golden flecks of light, and he looked at you like you were the only person on Teyvat.
“Creep.”
“Good morning to you too, baby~.”
#childe tartaglia ajax#ajax x reader#genshin ajax#genshin smut#childe smut#tartaglia smut#childe x reader#tartaglia x reader#genshin impact#genshin x reader#ajax smut
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Look Away
You say Bucky has a staring problem. He says you shouldn’t share back.
a/n: i’m baaaack! i hope you enjoy it!
warnings: n/a
note: I do not own the character Bucky Barnes or any other Marvel affiliated characters.
You do not have permission to copy, repost, or translate my work; however, feel free to like, comment, and/or reblog.
»»———-———-———-———-———-———-———-««
The room’s bustling with activity as you stand at the bar with your friend. When Sam had invited you to this party meant to honor him and his efforts as Captain America, you didn’t really know what to expect. You might have guessed there would be an open bar, but the rest of it? A posh parlor in The White House? Live music? Countless senators and generals around to clap Sam on the back and thank him for his work? Total surprise. However, despite the surprise of the luxurious and high profile venue, you found that you felt rather at ease amongst your couple of friends in attendance. No matter where you are, joking around with your boys has always stayed a safe and entertaining activity.
“He’s staring again,” Sam says with a smirk, lifting his glass in right hand to point at the brooding man sat across the room.
You grin, take a languid sip from your own drink, and shrug.
“Good,” you say lightly. “I like when he looks at me.”
Sam barks out a laugh at the comment, patting your shoulder with his free hand.
“Well, that’s good because he stares a lot,” Sam responds. “Not just at you, though,” he adds as an afterthought.
“Are you trying to make him watching my every move less romantic, Samuel?” You ask, placing your free hand on your chest and faking a gasp in mock offense.
“Not at all,” he says teasingly.
You look over your shoulder again to watch the object of your conversation, and, sure enough, his icy blue eyes are still trained on you. You might expect someone to turn away when caught staring, but the man across the room doesn’t. He never does. You turn back to Sam, shaking your head.
“I’m going to go talk to him,” you say. “Besides, I think Joaquin was wanting to talk to you.” You nod in the general direction that you think you’d seen Sam’s protégé.
Sam nods, places a chaste and friendly kiss on your forehead, and leaves to find his other friend. You smile fondly as you turn to cross the room towards your super soldier.
Bucky Barnes is sat in the corner of the room on what appears to be a rather uncomfortable couch. Comfortability aside, the furniture is rather luxurious and fits right in with the rest of the room. It’s Bucky who appears out of place, sitting in the corner, glaring at the people wandering about the party, clenching his fist uncomfortably, and taking angry sips from his whiskey glass.
You saunter over and sit down right next to him, grabbing his arm and wrapping it around you as you lean your head on his shoulder. The two of you, while not together, are best friends and more than comfortable with each other. You’re vaguely aware that you likely look like a couple to any passerby, but you can’t bring yourself to care. In fact, it makes you happy to think that anyone might think you and Bucky are together—it’s all you’ve wanted for an embarrassingly long time.
“Hi,” you say cheerfully.
“Hi,” he replied, voice gruff from disuse. You don’t think he’s spoken to anyone since you got here and wandered off to talk to your other friends.
“You look so angry over here,” you tease. “Somethin’ happen?”
He sighs, pinching your shoulder in response to the teasing. You let out a little squeak and halfheartedly swat at him, earning a chuckle out of the man.
“You look nice,” you tell him, moving the conversation away from his attitude. If you really think about it, you can’t blame him for being in a bad mood around all of the politicians and generals: they had tried to detain him, spouting all sorts of derogatory rhetoric towards him only a couple of years ago. You’d be in a bad mood yourself, if you were in his shoes. Besides, he really does look good in his fitted suit. “The black on black monochrome look is nice.”
Bucky smiles softly at the compliment. “Thanks, Doll,” he says. “You clean up nice yourself.” His eyes do a once over of your outfit: a deep blue satin gown, white evening gloves, and a tasteful diamond necklace and matching earrings. You’d fretted over your outfit, hair, and makeup for a week leading up to this party, and Bucky’s compliment—his attention—makes all the fretting feel worth it.
You blush, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
The two of you sit in silence for a moment, reveling in each other’s company as you people-watch. You fiddle with the wine glass in your hand, absentmindedly swirling the wine around, as you try your best to control your breathing (which had grown ever so slightly erratic from Bucky’s compliments). Beside you, Bucky downs the rest of his own drink before setting the glass on the end table beside him. You’re still looking forward, focusing on the party in front of you, when you feel his steely gaze on you again.
“You know,” you muse, tone teasing, “people say you’ve got a staring problem.”
“So I’ve been told,” he replied dryly, but you can practically hear the smirk he is sporting.
“Some people would call it rude.”
He shrugs, “Who? Sam?”
You giggle, “Maybe.”
You turn to study his face, arching an eyebrow. He’s still staring at you, eyes carefully tracking every detail of your face. He wears a content smile on his face as he watches you, letting his fingers gently tap against your shoulder. You smile softly at him as you feel your heartbeat pick up.
“Stop looking at me like that,” you breathe out.
“Like what, Doll?”
“Like… Hell, like you love me.”
His fingers still against your shoulder and he doesn’t seem to fight the grin spreading across his lips.
“No,” he says.
“No?”
“No. If you don’t want me looking at you like I love you, then just don’t look back.”
You feel your mouth drop open ever so slightly in surprise as you look back. You can’t bring yourself to look away. He’s teasing—you know he’s got to be teasing you—but maybe, just maybe, he might love you back. Maybe you don’t need to keep pretending you’re just friends. Maybe your love and adoration for the man beside you had never been unrequited like you thought. Maybe you’ve wasted so much time by not just talking about your feelings.
“What,” you start, nerves fraying your voice. “What do you mean by that, James?” You whisper the question, so incredibly anxious about what he is going to say.
He raises an eyebrow, still smirking, and says your name. “You’re smart. Figure it out. What do you think I mean by that?”
“I know what I think you mean,” you breathe. “I just…” You swallow anxiously. “I just don’t want to voice it and be wrong.”
Bucky fixes you with a sympathetic smile, “Sweetheart, I’ll bet money you’re not wrong.”
“How can you be sure? I might be way off base. I might think you mean to throw me off balance—to make me put my guard down—by playing ball with my feelings so that you can kill me and dump my body under a bridge.”
Bucky barks out a laugh. “Now why would I do all that?”
“I don’t know. I’m just saying you can’t be sure that I’m actually picking up what you’re putting down because I’m actually insane for thinking what I’m actually thinking.”
“I promise you I’m not going to kill you. I’d be heartbroken without you,” he says, voice dripping with sincerity. You think his breathing has picked up, too, but you’re unsure. After all, your mind is swirling trying to figure out if he’s trying to tell you that he genuinely loves you back.
“Bucky,” you say, a warning in your voice. “Please don’t play with my feelings like this.” You begin to chew on your lip in an attempt to ease your worried mind.
He says your name again in the most patient tone you’ve ever heard from him. You feel him wrap his arm more tightly around you, and his free hand comes to cup your face. With the gentlest touch, he swipes his thumb over your lip, pulling it out from between your teeth.
“You worry too much,” he breathes.
When did his face get so close to yours?
He kisses you. Sweetly, softly. He kisses you in the softest, most patient way in which someone kisses a person they’ve been dreaming of kissing for years. He kisses you like he’s trying to convince you that he wants you just as much as you want him. He kisses you like he’d die happy if it were the last thing he ever does.
His hand is gently grasping your face. His other arm is holding you safely against him. His lips move against yours. You freeze for a mere moment while you do what you can to let your brain catch up with what is happening. The moment passes you quickly, though, and you’re kissing him back. You move the wine glass to your left hand as you angle your body into him. You let your right hand reach up to his face, holding him close as you kiss him back fervently—desperate to never let this moment end.
When neither of you can breathe, you pull away, resting your foreheads against one another’s.
“Bucky,” you breathe, a smile pulling across your face.
“Hmm?” He hums. You shiver when you feel his breath against your face.
“I think you were saying you might love me back.”
“I wasn’t saying that,” he says.
You pull away to look him in the eyes, opening your mouth to question him. He sees the panic in your eyes, but he just smiles, pulling you back in for another kiss. When he pulls back again, he speaks.
“I was saying I absolutely love you back. No ‘might.’ I do. I love you. With everything in me, I love you.”
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes angst#bucky fic#bucky#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky angst#bucky barnes x y/n#marvel x reader#marvel fluff#marvel fanfiction#marvel x you#bucky barns fanfiction#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fic#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes x reader fluff#bucky x reader#bucky x reader fluff
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𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 | lh44

— one shot.
pairing: lewis hamilton x black fem!oc; nadia hamilton
summary: a very very special day for the hamiltons in tuscany.
warnings: cussing, a bit of social media
saint’s team radio 💌: happy valentine’s day my angels! wanted to give a little something (very small btw) and what better day than the day of love. hope you guys enjoy! ❤️
pls like, comment and reblog!
tags down below!
fc: @/unclewaffles_ on ig!
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TUSCANY, ITALY
august ‘24
“I like this. I like that I’ll get used to this life for a while, you know? It’s definitely a breath of fresh air from gloomy weather in Silverstone, no offence.” Nadia spoke, watching the sun slowly rise above the hills of Tuscany, the smell of fresh flowers wafting through the air of the master bedroom of their airbnb.
The mood in the house has been very good since they landed, the celebrations still lingering from lewis’ last win in Spa two weeks ago. It had just been the two of them before he takes a trip with his crew and Nadia having work commitments before ultimately joining them in Mozambique.
She lifted her head from his bare chest, looking into the man’s eyes, lightly swollen after waking up 20 minutes before. All he could do was hum in response, bringing his hand to rub her arm as she cuddled into him further under the sheets. “You’re right, wouldn’t mind moving here but it’d be quite the trip to Maranello.” He grumbled, lifting his upper body to lean against the headboard.
Glancing at the small clock on his bedside table, Lewis calmed himself down, knowing he’d spend the entire day just being close to his wife.
-
The pints of ice cream they held were nearly frozen in their hands but the two enjoyed it nonetheless. Sitting outside on the patio overlooking the massive pool that showcased the afternoon sun, Nadia took in the feeling of a vacation, finally after a long season of constant work.
“I never knew what to expect from this place,” Nadia started. “I always thought it was filled with young people and clubs and everything but it’s so…peaceful here. I feel like a puppy in a sunflower field.” She spoke, digging into her caramel flavoured ice cream.
Lewis snorted at her last sentence. “A puppy? Your descriptions are always so…interesting to listen to.” He teased, brushing his foot by her leg.
“Don’t laugh. I feel like a golden retriever just running through the hills having the time of my life.” I smile, ducking her head in laughter and slight shyness at her words.
Lewis felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter around as he watched her giggle to herself at her jokes as time passed by. He was eternally grateful that he convinced her to go into the town center for some ice cream, giving enough time for the people he hired to set up and leave in just the nick of time.
“Baby…baby!” Lewis snapped out of it once he heard the snap of Nadia’s fingers. “Thought I lost you there. I’m just gonna go change my shoes, okay? Don’t know what the hell I was thinkin’ breaking in new shoes.” She sighed, already taking them off and standing up from her seat.
Lewis nodded, swiftly moving the pint of ice cream to his lap to hide the bouncing of his leg. “That’s fine, Nads. You’ll catch me in the sun room, yeah?” He looked up at her, his nerves moving at a speedy rate.
“Sun room? It’s basically the patio with glass.” Nadia chuckled, holding her shoes in one hand and her phone in the other.
“Yeah, but the views are better.” Lewis shrugged, trying his best to stay normal.
Her eyebrows furrowed then relaxed. “Alright, gramps. Whatever you say. Hey, can we roll some in there?” Her voice going soft at her last sentence, not wanting anyone to hear even if the nearest neighbours were far down the road.
Lewis shook his head in amusement. He rather enjoyed seeing Nadia high and flimsy, much more animated than she actually is. “Sure, we can smoke. Just one though, Nads.” He said, seeing her smile widen.
Squealing, she leaned down to give him a kiss on the cheek and forehead. “Thank youuuu. I’ll be right back!” And with that, she hopped into the house and up the grand stairs.
Leaving Lewis to hype himself up and feel his pocket one last time before standing up and heading to the sun room, decorated in the most perfect flowers and sparkles just for the love of his life.
Nadia’s sandals snapped against the tiles as she headed to her next destination, her phone and small tin of joints in her hand as she hummed to herself. Getting closer and closer, she could smell her favourite incense scent of strawberry vanilla but thought that she was probably homesick.
The thing that did scare her a bit was that she began hearing the exact song that she was just humming - freudian by daniel caesar.
With her hands suddenly clammy, she reached for the door handle, opening it to what she thought was a dream.
There Lewis was, standing at the end of the white Persian rug with huge bouquets of lilies and white roses surrounding him. A small table of her favourite pastries on a tower with a few drinks on there with a few little trinkets. Just above him were strings of polaroid and printed pictures of the two of them, their favourite photos.
It was as if she was at the altar and the love of her life was at the end waiting for her.
Nadia first instinct? She screamed before covering her mouth.
“Lewis! Lewis! Lewiiiiiis!” She exclaimed, dragging out his name as she stepped into the sun room. “Lewis, what the fuck! How the hell did you do this, oh my god!” She squeezed her eyes shut before opening them again.
And just like that, the water works began.
Her legs gave up on her as she was now kneeling on the rug, covering her face as tears rose in her eyes. “I didn’t even dress all nice.” She sniffled, wiping her bare face. “Lewis, what the fuck?!” She sobbed while laughing simultaneously.
As she dropped to the ground, he immediately joined her, holding her as she cried tears of joy. “Baby, can I make my speech now before I forget it?” He chuckled, moving his thumbs to wipe her tears.
“No! I’m not ready!” She giggled to herself, quickly pulling herself together and standing up, leaving Lewis to kneel on one knee. “Okay okay, now I am.” She smiled at him, wiping the mini tears.
“Alright,” Lewis took a deep breath in. “Nadia Thandeka Hamilton. You are the air to my lungs, the sun beams that shine through the clouds when it’s raining and you are the flower that first blooms in spring.” He began, his tears pricking his eyes.
“Holy shit, this is…” He chuckled. “You and I are married legally however I hadn’t thought of the fact that I was ever going to fall in love with you the way I did in such a short period. You accepted my life, my family and friends like your own and you changed your life around for me. I’m eternally grateful for you and eternally thankful for our parents pairing us together.”
Nadia giggled, caressing his cheek as she waited for him to finish. “I am in love with you and I always will be in this life and the next. You already held my last name but now you hold my heart and soul with it too.” Lewis smiled softly up at her.
He reached into his pocket to take out a blue velvet box, opening to show the most beautiful diamond ring Nadia had ever seen in her life. “And with that I ask….Nadia, will you marry me?….Again?” Lewis held the box up to her and he just felt her hug in a millisecond.
Nadia tightly hugged him, breathing in the scent she found home in. “A million time yes. Always.” She whispered, pulling back to look him in the eye.
The two crashed their lips together, delving into each other’s mouths with a sensual touch to him, pouring their love into the kiss. After a moment of passion, he pulled back to reach for the precious ring.
“It’s perfect…” She muttered, watching it glitter in the sunset of the Tuscan countryside. “Thank you….” Nadia sniffled, the ring fitting snug around her finger.
“And…and I have another surprise. So, I know how important your culture is to you and how much you value it. I’m more than okay with having a traditional Zulu wedding and a white wedding.” He revealed, watching her eyes widen.
Nadia’s jaw dropped. “You….Oh my god. But how? Where? My family home is not in the best…..” She trailed off, watching his smile grow bigger.
“I may have sorta kinda built you a house. Back home. In South Africa.”
And just like that, it was lights out as she fainted in excitement.
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nadiahamilton

liked by victoriamonet, roscoelovescoco and 1,577,378 others
nadiahamilton he loves meeee (ladadadadada or wtv jill scott said)
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saint’s notes!: Hope you guys enjoyed! 🥹
taglist: (if it doesn’t show, tumblr can’t find you!) @motheroffae @perfecttrashface @myescapefromthislife @slytherinjimin3nthusiast @jamie2305 @cocobutterqwueen @like-fire-love-blog @sugardontbesweet @simpfortoomanymen @mauvecherie-writes @queenshikongo3 @eugene-emt-roe @deepgothfiremuffin @18754389 @cherry2stems @anubisnoir @littlelizzies-world @httpsserene @apenasumlug4r @eddiesbitch83 @arshiyuh @alika-4466 @peyiswriting @sunfairyy @vsfavs @louvrepool @mistruscity @tian-monique @hopefulromantic1 @exotic-iris13 @yeea-nah @nichmeddar @gg-trini @lifeless-firefly @vellicora @takeoffz-tookoff9876 @serpenttines-library @emjayewrites @lewisroscoelove @purplelewlew @xoscar03 @kidsol-ar @nothaqks @tremendousstarlighttragedy @ggaslyp1 @henneseyhoe @saturnville
#☆ ‧₊˚ saint’s media pen#saint writes#saintslewis#lewis hamilton x oc#lewis hamilton imagines#lewis hamilton fanfics#lewdia#lewis hamilton x black!oc#lewis hamilton x black reader#f1 x oc#f1 x black!oc#f1 x black!reader#Spotify
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hi hi! may i please request the housewardens with a reader who is exactly like robin (hsr) or sua (alnst)? if you could make reader have robins little wings too ^_^
𐔌 . ⋮ cosmic celebrity .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱
☓┆Housewardens x Robin/Sua gn! reader
𓏵 2196 words
ᝰ.ᐟ headcanons, no pronouns used, fluff
I'm in both the hsr and alnst fandom so this was a great delight to write!! feel free to like, reblog, or comment!
ᝰ.ᐟ masterlist
At first, Riddle doesn’t quite know what to make of you. You’re polite, refined, and carry yourself with an air of grace that even the nobility of his world would envy. Yet, there’s something about you that unsettles him—something he can’t place. It isn’t fear, but rather a quiet awe, as if he’s standing before something larger than life.
Your voice is unlike anything he’s ever heard before. When you sing, it isn’t just a melody—it’s a force, a presence that fills the air and lingers long after the last note fades. Even the roses in Heartslabyul’s garden seem to sway in time with your voice, as if nature itself is listening.
You remind him of a fairytale figure: enchanting, mysterious, and somehow just out of reach. He watches how others react to you—how they’re drawn in, how they lean closer, how even the most unruly of students fall silent in your presence. He tells himself that it’s simply your talent, your charisma, that compels them. But deep down, he wonders—do you ever long for something outside of this attention?
He notices the way you slip away when the crowds get too overwhelming, the way you seek quiet corners, away from prying eyes. It’s in those moments that he sees the real you—unburdened, free from expectations. He never tries to keep you from disappearing when you wish to, but if you ever linger a moment longer beside him, he considers it a victory he will never voice aloud.
Despite your cosmic fame, you never make him feel small. If anything, you listen to him, truly listen, in a way few ever do. And when you sing for him—not for a performance, not for an audience, but simply because he is there—he feels something in his heart shift, something he doesn’t yet have the words for.
And when your wings give a small flutter, as if content to be beside him, he dares to think that maybe, just maybe, you don’t mind lingering near him either.
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Leona isn’t easily impressed. He’s seen talented people come and go, each believing themselves to be special. But you? You’re different. Not just because of your voice—though he won’t deny it has an effect even on him—but because you exist in a space all your own, untouchable by the world’s expectations.
You remind him of the savanna winds—unpredictable, fleeting, impossible to catch. One moment you’re right beside him, and the next, you’re gone, leaving only the echo of your presence behind. He finds himself watching, waiting, wondering when you’ll slip away again. It annoys him more than he’ll admit.
He doesn’t understand why you’d waste your time with him, lounging in the shade while the rest of the world clamors for your attention. But you do. And when you sing—not on stage, not for a crowd, but just absentmindedly beside him—he feels something deep in his chest, a resonance that lingers long after the sound has faded.
Your little wings shift slightly when you stretch, ruffling just a bit when you let out a sigh of contentment. He watches them, lazily flicking his ear in response. He calls you a show-off, but he knows better. You don’t sing to impress. You sing because it’s simply a part of you, as natural as breathing. And that is what unnerves him most—how effortlessly you weave yourself into the lives of others, how even he isn’t immune to your presence.
He won’t ask you to stay when you vanish, but if you ever return to his side, slipping into the shade like you never left, he won’t say a word about it either.
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Azul thrives on control, on knowing exactly how to sway people in his favor. Yet, when it comes to you, he finds himself at a loss. You’re an enigma—someone who should, by all logic, be easy to manipulate. After all, you’re a performer, a star, someone who relies on the admiration of others. But the more he observes you, the more he realizes—attention doesn’t hold power over you.
You accept it, yes, but you are not bound by it. You exist above it, outside of it. And that unsettles him.
Your voice—your ability—fascinates him in a way he can’t quite explain. It isn’t just about business, though he tells himself it is. The way your music resonates, how it lingers even in the water, how it affects even the merfolk… it’s unlike anything he’s ever encountered. He wants to understand it, to study it, to figure out what makes it so powerful.
But then you turn that gaze on him—calm, knowing, like you see through every carefully crafted façade—and he wonders if, for once, he’s the one being studied. His eyes dart briefly to your small wings, which shift slightly, responding to something unseen. He wonders if they’re attuned to more than just the music—if they sense lies, deceptions, things he keeps hidden behind his careful smile.
When you disappear, he pretends not to care. But when you return, slipping into the lounge as if you never left, he finds himself relaxing just a fraction. He doesn’t need to own your song—some things, he realizes, are far more valuable when left free.
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Kalim adores you. From the moment he meets you, he’s utterly captivated—not just by your talent, but by you. You’re like a shooting star, brilliant and fleeting, and he wants nothing more than to keep up with you, to chase that light no matter where it leads.
He doesn’t question your elusiveness, nor does he try to keep you from disappearing. Instead, he cherishes every moment you choose to stay, celebrating your presence as if it’s a festival all on its own.
He asks you to sing, not because he wants a performance, but because he genuinely enjoys your voice. And when you do, he listens—not just to the melody, but to the emotion beneath it, to the way it resonates even in the stillest of nights. Sometimes, he watches how your wings react to your own music, perking up at certain notes, quivering with feeling, as if they too are carried away by the sound.
You surprise him often—not with grand gestures, but with the little things. The way you remember the smallest details, the way you can disappear into a crowd yet always seem to know exactly where to find him. It’s those moments, more than anything, that make him realize just how special you are.
He never asks where you go when you vanish, nor does he try to hold you back. He only hopes that, wherever you wander, you’ll always find your way back to him.
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Vil understands fame. He understands the weight of being watched, the expectations, the pressure. And so, in you, he sees a kindred spirit—someone who walks the same stage yet does so with a grace that seems almost effortless.
He admires your composure, your ability to captivate with a single note, a single glance. Yet, what intrigues him most is your unpredictability. You are refined, elegant, the picture of poise—until you choose not to be. Until you surprise him with a boldness that catches even him off guard.
Your little wings fascinate him. They move with you as naturally as your breath, fluttering in response to your emotions, betraying what you don’t say aloud. He finds them exquisite—another layer of your beauty, another piece of your ethereal presence. Sometimes, he watches them out of the corner of his eye, noting how they react to praise, to exhaustion, to excitement. They make you all the more mesmerizing, a performer even when you do not intend to be.
You are not a puppet to your audience, nor do you seek validation in their praise. You are simply you, untouched by the world’s expectations. And that, more than anything, is what makes you truly beautiful.
He won’t stop you when you disappear—he, more than anyone, understands the need to step away from the spotlight. But when you return, when you stand beside him once more, he will welcome you with open arms, knowing that true stars are not bound by any stage.
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Idia isn’t easily drawn to people. He’s more comfortable behind a screen, away from prying eyes and social expectations. Yet, when it comes to you, he finds himself unable to look away.
At first, he assumes you’re just another celebrity, another untouchable figure meant to be admired from afar. But you don’t fit into any neat category. You’re famous—cosmically famous—but you carry yourself like someone who doesn’t care for the spotlight. You let people worship your voice, yet remain untouched by their devotion.
It unsettles him. Because he understands idols, performers, people who thrive on attention. But you? You exist outside of it, separate from it, as if the universe itself bends to your whims. And maybe it does.
The first time he hears your song, it’s through his tablet. Someone must have been playing a recording in the dorm, and the sound carried through the halls like an echo from another world. He nearly dismissed it—until he realized that it wasn’t a recording. It was you.
The sound seeped into every shadow, resonated with every circuit and wire. Even Ortho noticed, his sensors picking up strange energy fluctuations. Your voice wasn’t just heard—it was felt, like an unseen force brushing against the very core of his being.
He doesn’t know how to approach you, not at first. You’re unpredictable. Not in the chaotic, overwhelming way that extroverts tend to be, but in the quiet, calculated way that unnerves him. You’re graceful, elusive—but then you do something bold, something completely unexpected, and he has no idea how to react.
Like the time you appeared in front of him, eyes sharp and knowing, before casually inviting him to a game you knew he liked. No expectations, no pressure—just an invitation. And just like that, he was drawn in before he even realized it. Even now, he wonders if you noticed the way his gaze lingered, not just on your expression, but on the way your wings fluttered ever so slightly, as if encouraging him to follow.
He won’t try to keep you from disappearing. But if you ever return, sitting beside him in the dim glow of his monitors, your wings shifting with each quiet movement, he won’t pretend he’s not watching. Because for the first time in a long time, he realizes that maybe, just maybe, some people are worth looking up from the screen for.
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Malleus has lived for centuries. He has seen the rise and fall of civilizations, watched as stars burned bright before fading into nothingness. And yet, in you, he finds something truly remarkable.
You are not of his world. That much, he knows. There is something about you—something otherworldly—that sets you apart. Not just in the way you carry yourself, but in the way the very air shifts when you speak, when you sing.
Your voice is unlike any magic he has ever encountered. It resonates with everything around you, weaving into the fabric of reality itself. Even the gargoyles seem to react, as if they, too, can hear the echoes of something far greater than what mortal ears can comprehend.
And then, there are your wings.
They are small, yet they move with a grace that intrigues him. They twitch when you’re amused, flutter when you laugh, still completely when you are deep in thought. He has never seen wings like yours before. They are not like a fae’s, nor are they like those of any creature he has encountered.
He longs to ask about them, to reach out and trace the delicate feathers with his fingertips. But he does not.
You are elegant, refined, a performer in every sense of the word. But then, just when he believes he understands you, you do something unexpected. Something bold. Something uncharacteristically human. And it fascinates him to no end.
You are like a dream, fleeting and untouchable, appearing and disappearing without warning. But he never feels as if you are truly gone. No, your presence lingers—in the wind that carries your song, in the silence that follows.
He does not ask where you go when you vanish, nor does he demand that you stay. He simply watches, waiting, wondering if you will return. And when you do—when your voice fills the air once more, like the whisper of forgotten legends—he listens, entranced, knowing that some songs are meant to be heard only for a moment, yet remembered for a lifetime.
#۶ৎ qka daydreams!#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#riddle rosehearts#riddle rosehearts x reader#riddle rosehearts x you#leona kingscholar#leona kingscholar x you#leona kingscholar x reader#azul ashengrotto#azul ashengrotto x you#azul ashengrotto x reader#kalim al asim#kalim al asim x reader#kalim al asim x you#vil schoenheit#vil schoenheit x reader#vil schoenheit x you#idia shroud#idia shroud x you#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia#malleus draconia x reader#malleus draconia x you#fluff
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Drunk words, sober thoughts
A/N: Another entry for the amazing @elixirfromthestars ‘s Writing Challenge. Leave a heart, comment or reblog if you’ve enjoyed reading this!
Pairing: Logan x F! Reader
Warning: 18+ fluff. Drink responsibly kids.
Prompts used: 🥪 ✩。⋆⸜ "Do I need to remind you that we're not actually married?"
Hugh Jackman/Logan Masterlist
Haze.
That was all your brain could comprehend. How you’d gotten yourself to this point was still obscure. But a rapidly diminishing rational part of your brain was sure your drink had been spiked.
It wasn't how the evening was supposed to go. Not at all. You were on a mission, albeit it was your first official one, it couldn't have gone any worse. The team carried out their respective tasks flawlessly while you - the rookie, were going to be in big trouble once they'd realized you had screwed up.
Deep down you were hoping Logan - your pretend husband for the evening would come and find you, rather rescue you. As you were cornered by a few men that were way too tall and burly to escape, you vaguely felt the comms from your ear been taken off, your limbs felt like jelly.
Were you being kidnapped? Where were your teammates? More importantly, where was Logan?
Any attempt to protest was silenced when they taped your mouth, taking you away from the banquet hall and towards a deserted alley. Before the men could shove you in their car, you felt their grip on you loosen, the familiar chink of metal claws being unleashed and a fight ensued.
It must've ended pretty quickly, or you were experiencing time gaps thanks to the drugs coursing through your bloodstream, but you felt a light but persistent tap against your cheek and a concerned looking Logan Howlett in your line of vision.
"Are you alright, bub? Y/N? Can you hear me?" he called, worry clear in his baritone.
"Mm?" You shook your head in a violent no, quickly realizing it was a bad move as your world shifted, making you dizzy.
You closed your eyes tight and tried to pull yourself together, failing to do so while Logan caught up with the rest of the team. They deciphered you'd had more than your fair share of alcohol given your state, and decided it was best to get you home. Logan had also picked up a smell that was definitely not your regular alcohol, probably the reason why you were so out of it, he'd realized. The team was concerned but probably not as much as the man before you.
A comforting mix of steady hands and a scent that was distinctly Logan enveloped you and lifted you off the ground and into a car.
"Ay! Look it's my husband!" You exclaimed loud enough to make Logan pull a face as he helped fasten your seatbelt.
“How are drunk are you?” He gave you a glance as the car pulled away from the venue, his brows furrowing when he saw you lean over to his side with a lazy grin on your face.
“Can I kiss you?”
“A lot, okay.”
With a firm grip on your shoulders, he made you lay back against the car, letting the back of his hand against your forehead that was slightly warm to touch. He was relieved to have found you before anything worse could happen, especially when your powers were compromised. Unbeknownst to you, Logan had developed some what of a soft spot for you. Not that he'd ever admit, but he found himself drawn to you more and more each passing day. For someone so seemingly fearless, he was terrified of confessing his feelings towards you.
It wasn't long until you found yourself in Logan's arms once again, this time with him carrying you up the school stairs towards your bedroom.
"I mean you could've carried us all the way across the threshold. Wait through the main door, did you—" You giggled mostly to yourself but with Logan and his sharp hearing, it was hard to ignore.
“Do I need to remind you that we're not actually married?" He mused with a faint hint of a smile on his rugged features. Unable to stop his chuckle at your adorable little pout, he gently set you down to your bed, hovering above you for a minute too long.
“We can’t leave the bed now. The pillows have accepted us.” You sighed dreamily, patting the place next to you for Logan to join.
Under any other circumstances, it would’ve been impossible to resist your offer, but you weren’t the right state of mind, and Logan was nothing if not a perfect gentleman.
“Get some rest, kid. You’re in for one hell of a hangover tomorrow.” Logan let his thumb caress the soft skin of your cheek, his eyes mapping your beautiful features.
He’d already made a mental note to get proper meds for you to help get the drugs out of your system. Just as he was about to close the door behind him and leave, he heard you mumble something else. He would’ve let it go, but the words that came out of your mouth nearly made his heart stop.
“What was that, bub?”
“Love you, Logan..” you mumbled against your pillow, clutching one tightly to your chest as sleep took over finally.
“Love you too. More than you’d ever know.” He smiled, finally saying it out loud, albeit not to you directly, felt good. He walked happy knowing you probably shared the sentiment.
Like they said, drunk words, sober thoughts.
#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett fluff#logan x reader#james logan howlett#wolverine imagine#wolverine x reader#wolverine#logan xmen#logan howlett oneshot#logan howlett x you#marvel fanfiction#writing challenge#mostly marvel musings#elixircinema
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CRY IF I WANT TO ♡
pairing: negan x fem!reader
summary: life has been different since you've been taken to the sanctuary. you're not sure how you fit in here. some may call you one of the wives, but you don't think that's accurate. maybe his pet? his doll? as the days pass, you're not sure it really matters. the distinction doesn't get you any closer to escape.
cw: nsfw (18+), dark fic, smut, dubcon, p in v, oral sex (f receiving), kidnapping/captivity, stockholm syndrome, coercion, forced ddlg/daddy kink, humiliation kink, dacryphilia, violence (from negan, simon, and reader), hurt/comfort sorta
wc: 10.9k (oops lol)
a/n: ermmm... hehe yeah. i've been wanting to write this so i hope someone likes it. reblogs, comments, and asks are appreciated <3
kinktober slot: day 13 - mindbreak (i think)
"Rise and shine, little lady. We got a lot of things to do today."
Your eyes flutter open, the bright light from the window in front of you broken up by the silhouette of the man at your bedside. The sight of him, even just the outline of his body, sends a nauseating crackle of dread through your bones. It's a feeling you can't verbalize of course - not if you want this day to resemble any sort of pleasant.
"There she is," Negan says, speaking with his signature cadence that made you want to rip out your hair, "How'd you sleep, babydoll?"
"Fine," you rasp as you slowly sit up. The mornings were the only time you could get away with dull answers like that. Any small bit of attitude could be blamed on you being 'cranky' rather than feelings of hatred that hadn't been broken down by this point.
He smiles at you, his rough hand cupping your jaw.
"You're so pretty in the mornings," he mumbles, sweeping a thumb over your pouty bottom lip.
You pause for a second, but so does he. Like he expects a reply. Unfortunately, you know the words he wants to hear. Swallowing the last sliver of dignity you have, you force out the response you'd been trained to say over the last however-long.
"Thank you, daddy."
He grins even wider if that's possible and pats your head. "You're welcome. Now let's get you dressed. Like I said, daddy's got a lot to do today."
You get out of bed and follow him over to the dresser that held your outfit for the day. The chill of cold air bites at your legs as the lack of blankets leaves them exposed. The generator had been out for the past day or so, leaving the Sanctuary victim to the harsh Winter raging outside. You were hoping he'd take that into account when picking your clothes, but you didn't hold out too much hope.
The two of you shuffle around the gray furniture of Negan's room. Even though you'd been in here more times than you could count now, you still marveled at the quality of the chairs and sofa. Items like these seemed luxurious with how the world was outside these walls.
When you reach the dresser, you follow the routine you'd become used to. You peel the small shirt you're permitted to sleep in off and drop it in the basket nearby. Your panties are next to go. You pull the dainty garment down and toss it to the same place as your top.
You can feel his eyes on you with every move you make. They watch how your breasts bounce when freed from their confines. They admire the curve of your ass when you bend over. They glimmer with smug satisfaction as you stand there nude before him.
"I'll tell you what. I never get sick of seeing this," he teases.
You offer a weak smile in return. The lack of energy almost seems to please him more.
He walks around to stand behind you, giving you a light pat on the ass as he does. His hands land on your hips first and then slide up to cup your breasts. He pulls you back, positioning you flush against his chest.
"You know I'd keep you like this all the time if I could," he murmurs in your ear, "Sweet and ready for me. Ripe for the pickin' whenever I felt the need."
The deep, gravelly rumble of it seems to trigger a flicker of heat in your lower belly on instinct, and you despise yourself for it. Shame burns so hot in your heart, it threatens to take the nausea you felt earlier into a full on dry heave. You're glad there's not a mirror in front of you. It's easier to keep a docile look plastered on your face when you don't have to stare yourself in the eyes.
The rough pads of his fingertips pinch and tweak your nipples, causing you to squirm a bit where you're standing, but you refuse to give him the satisfaction of a noise. You can feel the warmth of his breath fanning across your neck.
You choose not to say anything to his last statement. There's no guarantee that he hasn't actually considered that, and you don't want to find out. Displaying you in that way in front of everyone doesn't seem like his style, but back when he had you lined up on your knees with the rest of your group, you wouldn't have imagined yourself ever calling him daddy either.
As you'd quickly learned in regards to most things around here, the risk just isn't worth it.
"I'd never do that to you though. Don't think anyone could keep their hands off if they saw all of you, and I just can't have that," he whispers, calming your fears for you. He pulls his hands away from your breasts and steps back to grab the pieces he'd be putting you in today.
He starts with panties. This pair is pink and ruffly just like the last. You step into it with rehearsed timing. One foot then the next. He slides them up to your hips and lets the elastic snap into place against your skin.
You had no clue where he got this shit. You didn't want to believe that his hold on his men was so strong that they'd waste an entire supply run raiding a Victoria's Secret, especially for women they never even got to touch.
It wasn't worth thinking about though. It's not like discovering the origins would spare you from wearing the damn things every day.
Next, Negan shakes the wrinkles out of your dress. You step into that too, just like you did with the underwear. Looking down, you catch a glimpse of the garment.
It's just as humiliating as all the rest he makes you wear. The fabric is bright white and baby pink. Like everything else, you have no idea how it was kept so pristine. The waist is accentuated with a pretty pink ribbon wrapped around it, tied into a large bow at the front. It's extra tight up top and melts into a puffy skirt down below.
He shimmies it over your body and yanks the zipper up in back. The dress conforms to the shape of your figure, leaving little to the imagination in terms of how much the neckline shows and how high the hem of the skirt sits.
Spinning you around, he whistles when he gets the full picture.
"Good God Almighty. Pretty as a picture," he praises, reaching out to pinch your cheek.
Again, you force yourself to smile.
He'd already dressed himself for the day before getting you up, so the rest of the time before you leave the room is spent working through the remnants of your morning routine. He takes you into the bathroom connected to his room to brush your teeth and do your hair.
"Say ah, sweetheart," he smirks before jamming the brush into your mouth.
He's not careful or attentive. He only does it long enough to let the weight of humiliation settle in your stomach. It's always obvious when it kicks in. You get this look on your face like that of an abandoned puppy. Only then does he let you spit and move on to the next task.
He styles your hair into something cute, though you hate it anyway. Like the dress, it's only intended to make you stick out. To draw attention to your status as his possession.
The last thing he does is put your socks and shoes on. Your feet get covered in a pair of frilly ankle socks before he slips a pair of chunky sneakers on you. At least if this place got overrun and you had to bolt, you wouldn't be totally fucked.
"You ready to go, honey?" he asks you when the first part of your torture has finally come to a conclusion.
Again, you nod while looking up at him.
He grins at you. "You're quiet today," he says.
"Sorry, daddy," you respond. The way he said it sounded like teasing, but you could never be too careful.
"Don't be. I like it," he says.
You don't know how he does it, how he deflates you so easily without even trying.
He turns and grabs that stupid bat he carries everywhere, swinging it to his side before facing you again and sticking out his hand.
"Got my two favorite girls, now we're really ready to go," he says. He gestures with his fingers. A small impatient reminder. "You know the rules."
Of course you know what he's referring to. Always hold daddy's hand when you leave the bedroom. One of the rules he'd prattled off to you when he first brought you here.
You reach out and take his outstretched hand, earning a kiss to your head.
The way he'd been holding his arm caused the leather sleeve of his jacket to ride up a bit. Beneath the stiff fabric, you could see the fading scar you'd given him around the same time you'd been informed of the rules. Two crescent shaped marks in the pattern of your teeth.
You can barely stand to look at it now. All it does is bring back memories of when you still held hope for escape or rescue. Back then, you'd thought it'd only be a matter of days until Rick or Michonne burst into the small bedroom they were keeping you in.
The day you'd sunk your teeth into him, he'd just finished giving you one of his speeches about your new life at the Sanctuary. According to him, you'd be so much happier here. Sure you couldn't see your family, but now you had someone better than them. You had him. And he would spoil and take care of a pretty thing like you in the way you deserved. Show off to the rest of your old group how generous he could be.
He'd reached forward to pinch your cheek just like he'd done earlier today. You wanted to smack him away, but he had your hands bound. So you did the next thing you could think of and bit him. Hard.
His eyes burned with fury you hadn't seen since. You can still hear in your mind the way he yelled, shouting "Goddamn it" so loud that the walkers out at the fence probably heard.
After that was a bit hazy. He'd snatched that limb away from you before bringing it back and striking you hard across the cheek. You'd nearly fallen off the bed from the force.
"You little bitch, you try some shit like that again, and I'll knock your fucking jaw loose," he growled before yanking you up right and forcing you to look at him.
Involuntary tears leaked from your eyes as you glared up at his face. Blood oozed from the stinging wound you could feel inside your mouth.
That cut had healed by now though.
You squeeze his hand harder while walking down the hall out of his room. Even though it was the hand that struck you, it was the only thing you had to hold onto now.
Your brain tries to compartmentalize him nowadays. There's Negan, and there's daddy. Negan is the one who gets mean. Negan is the one who yells. Negan is the one who killed your friends. Daddy is the one who cares for you. He keeps you safe and healthy. He'd never hurt you like that. You didn't think you'd survive with a shred of sanity without that distinction.
He feels your little grip and squeezes your hand in return. That's what daddy does.
You stay close to his side as he guides you on the walkway that looks down on the commotion of the main room. Even after what you guessed had been a couple months, if not more, you still didn't like this place. Everything was so transactional. No one cared about each other. It was all about what everyone had to offer. That was by design of course, but it didn't make you any less critical of it.
Your eyes scan the clusters of people below. Although you weren't allowed to socialize on your own, you were starting to get a grasp on the cliques here. Negan's closest advisors all seemed to amalgamate in one area, spare the guy with the burnt face. The table closest to the window was where most of the soldiers ate while the one by the door seated the workers.
You weren't completely sure what class you fit into here.
The most obvious guess would be the group you're about to encounter, Negan's wives. But there are stark differences between you and them that prevent you from feeling camaraderie.
The two of you approach the room where he keeps this group of women. He maintains a tight grip on your hand as you slip through the doors. The disparities between you and the others become obvious as soon as you're within a few feet of them.
All of these women get to dress in black. They stand tall in heels, have earrings dangling next to their faces, and for some, a red tint painting their lips. All of them get to openly glare at him. They don't have to hide their hatred behind a feigned smile or soft laugh.
You know it isn't right to be jealous of them. They're suffering too. This isn't a happy situation for them either. But god, you can't help it. Envy nearly sears a hole through your heart every time you come into this room. What you wouldn't give to be one of them. To be allowed to drink and talk with other people. To not be under the constant threat of punishment.
Despite all these thoughts swirling through your head, you manage to keep your mask on. A simple, thoughtless look on your features as you stand next to him like an oversized accessory.
He looks down at you before dropping your hand.
"Stay right here for me, sweet thing. Daddy's only gonna take a minute," he says.
He stalks off to the back corner of the room with a woman you'd come to learn is named Sherry. They speak in hushed tones, so you can't make out what they're saying. You figure it's about one of the girls sneaking around with some other guy. That's what it's usually about when he makes a stop here with you in tow. Even with their status elevated above yours, they don't get to escape the wrath of his possessiveness.
You stand there awkwardly, arms crossed over your midsection while your weight shifts between your feet. No one tries to talk to you. You can feel their eyes on your pastel form, but their gazes don't hold curiosity or interest. It's pity.
In the beginning, you thought they were looking at you with jealousy. After all, you got your own cell and then graduated to Negan's bedroom while they had to share amenities.
But they weren't naive like you had been. None of them wanted Negan's attention. They didn't want to be his pet or his dolly or whatever the fuck he would classify you as. They had each other, and they got to share the load between all of them.
You sigh quietly and look down at the sparkly trim of your white sneakers.
He finishes his conversation with Sherry and then migrates across the room towards a blonde, crying girl. They speak at the same volume as him and Sherry. It's not worth trying to eavesdrop on.
Instead, you patiently wait the couple minutes it takes for them to finish up and for him to return to you. When he walks back over, you can tell the discussion hadn't been a positive one. His shoulders seem weighed down by whatever information he'd gathered from them.
But the dark cloud above him fades away as his hand slips back into yours. He leads you out of the room just as you'd come in and continues walking with you.
You hesitate but decide to try. "Are you ok?" you ask softly.
His head turns slightly to cast you a look. For a moment, it seems the daddy act has fallen away. He looks at you like he would any other woman who asked him that. Cold. Analytical. But the persona makes its reappearance seconds later as he pulls on a smirk for you.
"Just fine, honey. You don't gotta worry about me," he answers.
You know you should just nod and shut up, but it drives you crazy being led around like a child expected to be seen and not heard. So you decide to try again.
"Did they do something bad?" you ask. You hate how weak your voice comes out. There's no spark to it, no bite or sharp edge. All of that, he'd extinguished in you.
He drops your hand and drapes his arm over your shoulders, pulling you to his side.
"What are you so curious for, huh? You know something about it?" he responds.
You shake your head. Your arm rises and wraps around his torso.
"No. I just don't like when you're upset," you say. You lean your head into his chest to really sell it.
"Oh-ho, look at you. Turning on the charm," he chuckles, "I am just fine, sugar. I swear it. Sometimes those girls give me trouble, but it's nothing I can't handle."
You decide to just take it and nod this time.
He looks at you with satisfaction. "They can't all be like you, y'know? So well-behaved," he praises.
The compliment makes your blood curdle. You couldn't stand that he would act like obedience was your defining trait.
When you were with your group - your family more like - you would never have been described as obedient. Whether at the prison or Alexandria, it felt like every other day you were sneaking off to try something. You were always quick to spring into action, never the type to let someone belittle you. Rick got on your ass about deviating from plans in spurs of emotion more than anyone else. Maybe that's how you wound up here.
You had tried to stop them from taking Daryl. On that dark night in the woods, surrounded by the ring of headlights, you had tried. You didn't rush at Negan like your friend. Not wanting someone else to get their head bashed in, you were more subtle than that. But you attempted to get in the way of the guys carting him off. That's what landed you here. Tucked under his arm, the very weapon that took away two people you love swinging a foot away from you.
But you swallow down all of this rage and nod again. You nuzzle into his chest, a way to conceal the tightening sensation in your throat and the sting of tears at your waterline.
This is the worst part about Negan, you decide. The way he makes you act like you want it.
From your first day here, he made sure to tell you over and over how he's staunchly against rape. He's not a monster. He's not that kind of guy. No, no. You are a prisoner, so yes, technically here against your will, but never in a million years would he violate you in that way.
And he'd stuck true to that. Whenever you screamed or cried or yelled "no" on a loop until he shook you around like a bobble head, he always backed off of his advances. He never copped a feel or slid a wandering hand in your panties while you slept, never held you down or physically forced himself on you.
Instead, he broke you down until saying yes seemed like the only sane option.
You didn't want his affection? That meant you must not want to talk to anyone at all. For days. You didn't want to sit in his lap? Maybe you'd prefer kneeling by his feet for a week, in private and around everyone else. You didn't want to sleep in his bed? Fine. You could sleep on the concrete floor without a pillow or blanket while the heat was out.
You reflect on all of this as the two of you trot through the boxy halls. He takes you around on all his errands for the day. You stop by the doctor's office, inventory, and Dwight's room. All over the place. You stay quiet the whole time. busying yourself with your thoughts as you stay attached to him.
Everyday the line between survival and free will becomes blurrier. You tell yourself that you have to be like this with him. You'll be worse off if you don't act the part of the sweet, adoring girl he wants. But then sometimes you wonder if you truly are becoming obedient. Like a wildcat tamed into a lazy house pet. You almost never resist his touch anymore. You even go to him for comfort sometimes.
The idea kills you, so you deem it best not to think about for now.
Rather, you focus on guessing what the rest of the day would hold. It's already the afternoon by now. The sun hangs low by the tree line, shimmering into the Sanctuary through the rectangular windows across the walls. He wouldn't have a meeting with the lieutenants today. Those were almost always around lunch time. You didn't think he'd spend it with one of his wives either. If that was the case, he usually gave you a heads up in the morning.
The most likely possibility you come up with is the dilemma from earlier. You had never been invited to see the culmination of those though. Normally, he kept you safe and sound in his room while he tended to matters like that, ready to provide him some stress relief when he finished.
But things can always change, and now it seems like that's the case.
He guides you back into the main room. A crowd has gathered down below. You can't see the center point of their conglomeration. All you can sense are the nerves vibrating between everyone.
Their feet shuffle around on the hard concrete flooring. They look between each other with anxious eyes. Hushed chatter clouds the area until you and Negan begin to descend the stairs. That's when they all go quiet. Mouths close and pupils snap to the position of their leader.
You look down to lessen the ache of humiliation that came with accompanying the center of attention. The few times you had scanned the crowd for others' reactions, seeing if you could find a sympathetic gaze or outraged expression, all you found was animosity. The male workers and soldiers leered at you. They smiled and smirked, visibly amused by your girly outfits and docile disposition. On the other side of the aisle, the women glared, taking in the details of your appearance with disgust, like somehow it was your fault you got toted around like this.
His voice booms out to his audience as he takes step after step towards them.
"You all know what we're here for today," he starts, "We got simple rules 'round here, but some people still seem to have trouble following 'em."
Your hand stays linked with his as the two of you reach the landing.
"Watch your step, babydoll," he murmurs to you before continuing his speech. Your cheeks burn with shame.
"It feels like I'm doing this every other month. It's getting ridiculous," he lectures, "I don't like having to be so harsh. Truly, I don't. But rules are rules, and I don't know how I can make myself any clearer. They are not optional."
He walks further into the room with you. Being level with everyone else, you can see more of what's happening. They're gathered around a furnace. Dwight stands near the opening to the flames, clearly preparing something. Another man sits a few feet away. Over in the corner, the woman from earlier is looking at him and crying.
Looks like your guess was correct.
"So we're gonna do this again. Hopefully it's the last time," he concludes.
The crowd parts as you and him head towards the center of the room. He leads you over to an empty spot near the wall. Dropping your hand, he cups your jaw and makes you look him in the eyes.
"Stay right here for me. Daddy'll be right back," he says.
You nod and then watch as he turns away, waltzing over to where Dwight stands.
While your eyes are up, they can't help but catch on somebody familiar standing at the front of the crowd.
Daryl.
Your heart stutters, and you can see on his face that his does too. He looks worn down. Eyes dimmed and face hollowed. His clothes, dirty and ill-fitting. You start to feel tears pricking at your waterline from the sight. You weren't the only one they'd broken down.
In him, you find the compassion you'd been searching for. The look that told you at least one person here didn't take enjoyment from your suffering. But it comes from someone who truly can't help you. Who's in a situation as bad as your own.
You sniffle and try to wipe away any beginning tears before Negan or someone who would tell him notices.
The loud creak of a metal door opening drags your attention to the furnace though. You watch as Dwight pulls out the item he'd been preparing. A burning, metal iron becomes the new focus of everyone in the room.
Upon seeing the small object, so many things connect in your head. You know what's going to happen. You realize why Dwight's face is scarred. You understand why that woman is crying. And you know no one is going to stop any of this now or in the future.
Your heart pounds harder, and your breaths become shaky. Tears blur your vision further. You dig your nails into your palm to try and ground yourself, but it doesn't help. The scene in front of you has whipped your mind into a frenzy. You haven't felt this bad since the early weeks of being in this place.
This stupid fucking place. You hate it. You hate how cruel it is here. How disconnected and lifeless everything feels. You hate him for being the only one allowed to really live. You hate everyone else here for letting him get this powerful.
It's a complete spiral whirlpooling in your mind, only made worse by the fact that you have to keep it contained. You try to tell yourself you just have to wait it out. This couldn't take more than five minutes and then you could go back to the bedroom. You'd be ok. You could take off this itchy dress and put your hair back to how you like it. You could kick off these shoes and hide yourself beneath the warm blankets. None of these people would be around, all you'd have is the quiet between those walls where daddy could make it all better.
As you're in the process of mentally talking yourself down, Negan takes hold of the iron. To free up his hands, he offers Lucille off to someone nearby. Your eyes follow his leather-clad limb to the neck of the bat and then up to its new handler. You see Simon.
You have to look down now. If you don't, everyone here will see the look of pure terror on your face. You close your eyes and rein in whimpers that threaten to spill from your lips. Everything feels fuzzy around you, intangible and like your hands would drift right through them. Your head heats up, the sensation making you dizzy. You try to steady yourself by leaning back against the wall, but the cool, flat surface does little to ease your nerves.
It does even less when you hear his voice closing in on you.
"Hey there, princess," he starts, voice laced with mockery, "You feeling alright?"
You're not looking at him, but the image of his stupid face projects with HD clarity in your mind. You swallow hard and nod.
Laughing lowly, he comes to stand beside you. "You sure about that? You're looking kind of lightheaded," he taunts.
"I'm fine," you choke out.
His hand darts up and grabs your jaw. He doesn't gently guide your eyes where he wants them to look. He yanks your face in his direction like an unruly child with a doll.
"I don't know about that. You're looking kind of rough," he says while glaring down at you with those ruthless eyes, "Maybe I should take you over to the doctor's. We both know Negan wants his favorite toy kept in good condition."
Your entire body vibrates with hatred for this creature. Every breath you take acts as an effort of restraint, a way to lull yourself into not ripping out what hair he has left.
You didn't just despise Simon because he's an asshole or because he was the person harassing your group leading up to that horrible night you were taken. Your aversion for him stems from experiences entirely your own.
A few days after the biting incident, you had tried getting physical with Negan one more time. You'd managed to worm one of your wrists out of your restraints, and instead of aiming for escape, you decided revenge held a higher priority. You waited for him to come check on you, keeping your arm tucked to your body as if it was still bound.
When he finally came in, you sat there and took the speech, took the condescension, and took the promises that you would conform. And then he leaned a bit closer. That's when you backhanded him as hard as he had you the few days prior.
After the hit landed, you lunged forward and tried to wrap the rope connected to you around his neck. You pulled as hard as you could, and for a moment, you thought you had won.
But wrangling you off was easier than you anticipated. They hadn't been allowing you much food or sleep, so the strike took most of your energy. It only took him a handful of seconds to snake his hand under the rope and then pry your arms away.
He stood up and slammed you into the wall with his hand around your throat. In that moment, he didn't look at you with the same fury he had before. This time around, frustration dominated his gaze.
"Was that fun for you?" he asked.
You didn't answer. Your chest puffed with exertion while your eyes stared daggers into him.
"What did I tell you last time? What did I fucking tell you?" he asked. Despite the look in his eye being less volatile, his tone of voice was dangerous as ever. "I told you I would knock that jaw of yours loose. That's what I said, and I meant it. I don't want you thinking I didn't. But I'm not gonna do that right now because I don't think it would work, and I'm not one to waste my own time."
Internally, pride swelled in your chest, thinking you had called his bluff. But then he kept speaking.
"I have a bad feeling that if I struck some sense into you that you'd just try to strike it into me right back, and I can't have that. That's just not gonna fly around here," he said, "So I'll tell you what: I have a better idea. You don't wanna play with daddy? Then you can spend a weekend with your Uncle Simon. See how much fun he can be."
Back then, you didn't know Simon as the right hand man. You didn't have his name and face connected yet. Now, you wished you could go back to that state of mind.
You were with him for three days while Negan did a tour of the outposts and subjugated communities. Only 72 hours. But an hour of him would have been enough to scare you for a lifetime.
When he first came into the room, you didn't get the feeling that him and Negan would handle you so differently. You could tell from the way he looked at you that, like his boss, he looked at you as something to toy with. A source of amusement. The difference, you soon found out, was how they played with their toys.
Unlike daddy, Simon didn't talk just to talk. He didn't warn you of future spankings or timeouts. He hit. And he kicked. And he shoved you down and tossed you around. He didn't offer the same condolences daddy did, there was no "this hurts me more than it hurts you." Nothing he did even bothered Simon. He watched you hurt, and he enjoyed it.
You didn't even get a reward once you'd settled down. Your attitude had disappeared almost instantly. Having the wind knocked out of you once was enough for you to become more amicable, but your change in demeanor didn't phase him. It wasn't his goal.
The only rules Negan left him with were the basic ones for the Sanctuary along with no killing you or causing permanent damage. But that didn't mean he couldn't threaten you with breaking them. He went on and on during the down periods where you cowered in the corner or huddled against the wall of your bedroom cell, telling you stories of how he went rogue before. Any horrible thing he could think of, he dangled in front of you as a potential fate.
When Negan finally came back, you eagerly awaited him. Despite your sleep deprived and bruised condition, your eyes stayed locked on the door like a puppy expecting their master. For the next week, you latched onto him. Didn't want to leave his side. He had made his point. You could hate him as much as you wanted but leave you alone with Simon for a little while, and you'd beg for him back.
That's how you feel right now, staring up into Simon's eyes while he holds your jaw. The pressure his fingers put on your cheeks serve as a reminder of the pain he can inflict while his other hand holding the bat twirls the weapon near your calf. As much as you had been internally preaching your hatred for everything to do with Negan minutes ago, all you want to do now is run into his arms.
You feel more tears wanting to slip down your cheeks, but you try your best to hold them in. The more you cry, the more I like it. That's what he'd told you more than once over those three days.
"Just leave me alone," you tell him. You try to sound as firm as possible, but even your own ears catch the way your voice quivers. "Negan wouldn't like you talking over him."
Your attempt at taking a stand falls flat. He doesn't back off any, rather, he leans in closer.
"Negan, huh? Are you even allowed to call him that?" he mocks and feigns a pout.
"Just shut up!" you say. You mean it as a threat; though, it hits his ears like a plea. More hot panic rushes down your spine from the stress of having to remain quiet while also trying to be assertive.
His lips flatten into a line before he continues speaking. "Your head's getting too big for those shoulders, little girl. You better watch your attitude, or I might have to suggest you're due for some more correction," he mutters.
A loud scream rips the two of you from your conversation. He drops his hand from your face, and you both straighten up against the wall. Negan stands in the center of the room, pressing the blazing iron to the side of the man's face.
He wails until he passes out, and that's when his leader peels away the device of torture. Sticky skin goes with it before snapping back against his face like a rubber band. You grimace, your stomach twisting at the sight. You'd seen so much blood and guts over the years of living out on the road and fighting with other groups, but melted skin was a new one.
Negan turns to Dwight and gives him the iron back. You breathe an involuntary sigh of relief, subconsciously soothed by the thought of him returning to your side.
The reprieve ends suddenly though when a small, sharp pain slices along the meat of your calf. You whimper and lift your leg away on instinct. Looking for the source, you see the bat twirling from the motion of Simon's wrist. One of the barbs had caught your skin. Your eyes flit up to him.
"Watch out!" you say. The old you would have been seething. She would have pulled out her pocket knife and given him a little receipt for the cut. But now, you watch him with fearful eyes, trying to gauge whether or not you would get in trouble for calling him an asshole.
"Remember what I said," he tells you quietly as a trickle of red runs down to the lacy frills of your sock.
Before you can respond, a warm hand lands on the small of your back. Your head turns to find Negan smiling down at you.
"What's with the long face, sugar? Simon bothering you?" he asks, clearly not meaning it seriously even though to you it is exactly that.
You part your lips to answer, but Simon beats you to it.
"Bothering her? C'mon. I'm just checking up on her. She looked a little dizzy, so I offered to take her to the doctor's," he says, light as ever, "I'm just watching out for her, y'know? Sweet thing like her will get eaten alive here if she's not careful."
Negan raises his eyebrows, and for a second, you think he's about to take your side. But then he just chuckles and shakes his head.
"She's doing just fine. That was her first time seeing one of those, so she's probably a little shaken up," he says, rubbing your arm.
"Hm... Sounds about right," Simon replies, "I know that's not how her little group did things."
"Yeah. So I'll get her back to the room. Think you can handle shit down here?" he says, gesturing around to the dispersing crowd.
"Always," Simon says with a mock salute. He then hands Lucille back.
Finally, you find some relief, some true sanctuary as Simon walks away. Your body physically relaxes. Negan feels it underneath his arm and spares you a glance as the two of you walk back up the stairs.
"Is something wrong?" he asks.
You want to just take the easy route and say no, to play along with this sadistic charade and not cause any trouble. But you can't get the single syllable out. It feels impossible to even shake your head. Even though Simon's gone, the weight of everything that happened still remains along with the stinging in your leg.
Your throat feels tight, and your eyes feel like they're two seconds from overflowing. The lights suddenly seem too bright, and everyone here is too loud. You can't show him that though. You don't want more correction. You don't want someone to like it when you cry. But you can't ignore him either. That would be the worst thing to do.
All you manage in response is a shaky shrug. You let out a broken sigh with it and lean into his chest. The tension in your shoulders returns as you fight to keep the tears from leaking out against the worn leather.
At first, he doesn't say anything, and the two of you keep walking. Your steps remain in time with his as you traverse the walkway and around the corner. Then the two of you come to a stop when you're out of sight. He turns you by your shoulders, holding you in front of him so that you can't shy away.
"I got one more thing to attend to out by the fence. Think you can handle that?" he asks.
Your heart pulses to an uneven rhythm, trying to decide what to do without devolving into pure panic. You bite your lip as you mull your options over. Say yes and go with him. Then inevitably fail to contain yourself and get in trouble. Or, say no now and risk punishment for being defiant. You're not sure which one will end up worse.
"Can... can we just go back to the room?" you ask. Your voice comes out weak as if every word siphons a drop of energy from you.
He eyes you with uncertainty of his own; though, there's no fear in his look. His gaze is careful, an attempt to decipher if this is some kind of deception. You'd been pretty well-behaved as of late, but one bad day could take even the most obedient pet to a rabid dog, jaws primed to gnash.
But you didn't really have a reason to lie. The bedroom with him would provide the least likely chance at escape, and in the condition you were in now, you didn't seem to be planning an attack.
Slowly, he nods. "Sure, honey. I'll have Arat handle the other shit," he tells you before leading you in the direction of his bedroom.
The words he mumbles through his radio sound distant to you. You watch your legs switch between one and the other as you walk. On your right, you see the small red splotch staining the pristine cloth of your sock.
Before you know it, he's pushing open the bedroom door and bringing you inside. It then closes behind you, creating a barrier between you and everything else out there. It gets a little easier to breathe.
He guides you the few steps over to the edge of the bed and sits down, pulling you onto his lap. You feel his eyes scanning over you in an attempt to figure out the problem without asking. His hand rubs up and down your back over the crinkly fabric of your dress. His other palm focuses on your legs, coasting over your knees and the area of your thighs the skirt doesn't cover.
The code is harder for him to crack than usual. Normally when you got upset, it resulted from something he said. And he knows that because, usually, that's his intention. It was always either that or you'd just generally be feeling down, missing your home. But that doesn't seem to be the case right now. You seem more antsy than your normal bouts of sadness. He doesn't think it was from watching the spectacle downstairs. He knows you hate the saviors indiscriminately. Watching some random guy's face melt off wouldn't have you this upset. Finally, he relents.
"What's wrong?" he asks. He actually makes an effort not to sound like he'll make fun of whatever your answer may be.
"I just don't feel good," you choke out and bite your lip.
He feels you shudder on his lap, and he knows it's not the full truth. Pulling you a little closer on his thighs, he continues to look down at you.
"C'mon, baby. Tell daddy what hurts," he coaxes.
Your face tenses, but you know he won't drop this. "Just... just... I don't know. A lotta stuff," you say. You couldn't decide on a lie to commit to.
He sighs and bounces his leg with you on it a few times. "Did someone say something to you? Was someone bothering you?" he asks as his scope of potential causes narrow.
You're in the middle of trying to think of a cover story when his hand glides down to remove your shoes. He knocks one off. Then the other. The foamy white sneakers clatter to the ground next to his foot.
He goes to bring his hand back up, dragging it over the fine threading of your socks, but his eyes catch on the bloody splotches near the edge. Grabbing your ankle, he tugs your limb upward. It puts you at an awkward angle and nearly knocks you from your perch on his thigh. He stares the small wound down, assessing every detail of the tiny scrape.
"How'd you get this?" he asks. He looks over to you.
In reality, it may have been the most standard question in the world. But it hits your ears like an accusation and brings a fresh wave of tears that you can't control. Your lip quivers as your lids blink a few droplets over your water line.
"Simon did it," you weep.
You're scared he won't believe you, but after a few seconds, he drops your foot and pulls you close. His arms wrap around you tight and keep you flush against his chest. The warmth of the embrace encompasses you. You let the dam burst and cry into him, pouring all your sadness out against his body.
His hand sweeps up and down your back in comforting strokes. "Shh, shh, shh, sweetheart. Daddy's got you," he murmurs.
You feel him shrug off his jacket and push it aside, leaving the plain material of his t-shirt to soak up your anguish. He keeps you as close as possible. One of his hands cradles the back of your head to ensure you don't pull away.
"Does Simon bother you a lot?" he asks.
You nod. "Whenever I'm not with you," you choke out.
He hums in acknowledgement. "I'll talk to him. He's not supposed to hurt you when you're being such a good girl for daddy."
"I was trying really hard," you sob, your voice cracking, "I've been trying to be good. But he just hates me anyway. He's so mean to me."
Your arms snake around him as tight as a pair of snakes aiming to kill. You cling to him with everything you have, as if he's your one true savior from this living hell and not the cause of it.
In your head, you feel like you're annoying him. He's probably waiting for you to calm down, so he can nip this blossom of resentment in the bud. Good girls don't have tantrums or meltdowns, right? And all he cares about is that you act the part of a good girl.
But you only think all of that because you can't see the smile on his face right now.
He's grinning more than any of the times he got you to say something humiliating or cooperate with a punishment. The look he displays now reaches a new level of smugness, higher than the night he killed two of your people and traumatized the rest of them. His satisfaction runs deeper this time because right now, you're truly broken.
This isn't something you agreed to because the other option was worse. It's not something he had to coach you into or manipulate a situation into becoming. You did this all on your own. You came to him. Sure, he had to coax it out of you a little bit, but once he got his foot in the door, you let him right in. You're clinging to him for comfort, looking to him for a solution. He couldn't be more pleased. This is exactly what he wanted - to break you down. Now he just had to reel you back in the slightest bit, get you in that perfect middle ground between too independent and non-functioning.
"You have been doing really good for me, y'know? I'm proud of you, baby," he tells you in the most earnest tone he can manage, "Don't worry about Simon for right now, ok? Daddy's gonna set him straight. He won't bother you again."
You nod, but the reassurance doesn't stop the flow of tears from your eyes. Your fingers stay clenched around the fabric of his shirt.
"No more tears, honey, c'mon," he coos. He pries your limbs from around him and boosts you to your feet, standing you between his thighs. "I'll take care of it just like I take care of you. Let's just worry about what my little baby needs to feel better right now."
You take a few seconds to think about it, but the answer comes with relative ease. The most agitating thing about this situation right now is wrapped all around you, scratching at your sides and digging in under your arms.
"Can you take my dress off?" you sniffle.
His eyes fall from your face over your body. "What? You don't like this pretty little number?" he teases.
For once, you don't feel like you're two seconds away from punishment. You feel like it's a joke, and you don't have to awkwardly straddle the line between playing along with the humor and submitting to the literal interpretation.
"It's ok... it's just kinda scratchy," you say and wipe away your tears with the back of your hand.
"Spin around for me then. We'll get it off you. Can't have it irritatin' that soft skin while you're tryin' to relax."
You take the few steps to turn around. His fingers grasp the zipper and undo the baby pink prison you'd been trapped in for the day. Feeling the chafing fabric pulled away from you lets you take a real breath for the first time in hours. Already a small bit of relief. It only compounds when the garment hits the floor and pools at your feet.
He tugs you back by the waist and lays you across the bed, body on full display for him. Right now, you don't mind his gaze tracking your curves. He leans over you, his hands coasting from the sides of your breasts down to your hips.
"You're prettier like this anyways, princess," he praises.
"Thank you, daddy." It spills out as naturally as water from a faucet.
He rewards you with his lips on your stomach instead of words. Kissing the smooth, warm skin, his lips travel from just above your navel to the divot between your breasts. Your nipples rise to attention automatically.
His hands slide up to cup your mounds of flesh. He fondles and gropes them as his lips migrate up the curves to the hardening little peaks. They don't latch on just yet. He teases them with kisses instead, letting the anticipation of blissful suction build.
You take your lip between your teeth as you watch him. Chills break out across the rest of your body. You know you should be fighting. You know you should kick and scream and cry. You should try to take advantage of his closeness and get towards your revenge. But in your hellish life, are you not allowed one moment of pleasure? You haven't let those plans of escape and vengeance go, but you want this right now. You want to feel good, and he gives you that.
This isn't Negan. This is daddy. And you don't wanna hurt daddy.
His tongue peeks out from between his lips to trace wet circles around your nipple. The sensation draws a whine from you. Your body squirms beneath him with an eagerness to feel more.
"I think I know how to make you feel better. Take your mind off all that stuff from before," he whispers.
He takes one of your nipples between his lips, flicking the bud with the tip of his tongue and scraping his teeth against the sensitive area. You reward the choice with a mewl and squirm your legs. He chuckles and then switches to the other one.
"That feel good?" he asks.
You nod, your head tilting back and your eyes fluttering.
Grinning, he continues his work on your chest. You whine and squirm for him, giving him all the reactions he craves. Soon, his hand ghosts up your inner thigh. His fingertips drag over the flesh and land on your clothed center. Through the thin pink cloth, he rubs at your clit. That garners a breathy moan and a full body shudder.
"Goddamn, you are so cute," he chuckles, "Just a few little touches and you squirm around like a virgin for me."
Heat floods your cheeks, but you don't bother disputing the claim. It was the truth. You weren't sure what it was about him that got you so amped up and needy.
The pad of his middle finger swirls around the little nub in your panties. He can already feel the fabric getting sticky from the wetness between your thighs.
"Poor baby. You're so easy to play with," he says.
His mouth leaves your breasts now and begins to retrace its path down your stomach. It glides over your skin with open-mouthed kisses all the way down to the hem of your underwear. His fingers fall away from your center to your dismay.
Your disappointment is short lived though. You feel him position your thighs on his shoulders. When you look down, his eyes are staring right back up at you, gleaming like that of a panther ready to pounce.
"You want daddy's mouth on you? Will that help you feel better?" he rasps.
You nod quickly. "Please, daddy," you whimper.
"So polite. You didn't even need me to remind you of your manners," he smirks.
You don't even care about that remark. It washes right over you. All your mind is concerned with right now is getting more of his touch.
He brings his index finger back between your legs. He hooks it beneath the soaked seat of your panties, pulling it to the side and revealing your slick folds to him. The thumb on his opposite hand comes up to rub over the length of your slit up to your clit. Back and forth, nice and slow, just to tease you.
Your hips writhe the slightest bit, and he nips the skin of your inner thigh.
"Tsk. You know good girls are patient. They don't wriggle around. I've taught you better than that," he chides.
"Sorry," you say, backing down quickly.
"It's alright. I know you're having a rough day, so I'll let it slide this time," he says. He then leans in to lay some kisses on your clit.
Your eyes roll back and your toes curl. He never let things slide. This must have been a miracle. The same man who always toted that the rules weren't optional, letting you bypass one? Maybe you were his favorite. That's what you took it as anyways.
He makes out with your cunt like it's the prettiest thing he's ever seen. His lips engulf it, spreading his affection from your little bundle of nerves all the way down, nearly reaching your puckered entrance below. You whine and clutch at the bedsheets. You were still too scared to grab his hair. You weren't sure if he'd like it and groan or glare at you in a way that said you'd pay for it later.
It doesn't matter to you right now though. What you hold isn't important when you feel this good. It feels like a firework show is erupting in your belly, bright bursts of all different colors. Your heels dig into his back, subconsciously keeping him buried between your thighs.
He's tempted to tear your panties off and fling them aside. He would if not for the limited number in his possession. If this was normal life, he'd rip a pair to shreds on a weekly basis. These things were so cute when he put them on, but when he wanted at you, he despised them. If this was normal life, he'd just buy you new ones whenever a tattered one had to be tossed. But then again, if this was normal life, he wouldn't have you at all, so it isn't really worth thinking about.
Refocusing his mind on your pleasure, he dives further into your cunt. His nose bumps your clit as his tongue fucks into you. He pushes it in a few times before pulling back and just lapping at your pussy in broad strokes, getting every drop of you he can. Two of his fingers prod at your entrance before slipping in. They fuck deeper than his tongue, but don't stretch you out like his cock. A happy medium to walk the steps of preparation.
He maneuvers his digits with expert precision, scissoring and curling them at the perfect intervals. You can't help the way your hips buck in response. He doesn't get on you about it though. He just wraps your arms around his hips and holds you in place.
Your thighs squeeze around his head too. Luckily, that wasn't against the rules. He loved feeling the heat of your plush legs wrapped around his skull, keeping him close.
He pumps his fingers faster, curling them right against that spot that got you to squeal and cry out his name.
"Cum for me, babydoll. All over my face. I wanna feel it," he rasps.
It's a fortunate coincidence he gives you that command because you were about two swipes of his tongue away from doing it on your own. You melt against the bed, eyes fluttering and body jerking and quivering as rushes of pleasure sweep through you.
Your fingers grip the blankets so tight they threaten to tear into them, but then they loosen completely and go lax next to your hips. He licks your cunt through the entire thing, not letting you come down until the euphoria has thoroughly washed through you.
While you're lying there, dazed and blissed out, he untangles himself from your legs and stands at the edge of the bed. He wipes your nectar from his facial hair before pulling his shirt over his head and unzipping his pants.
"I think daddy deserves a little reward for making you feel so good, pretty girl. What do you say?" he asks.
Of course, you nod. There was no way you would reject him while still so close to the high of your last release. He grins at your hazy movement and shoves down his pants, jerking his cock a few times and crawling on the bed to hover over you.
"You're such a good girl for me. Better than I ever thought you'd be," he says while looking down at your face.
"Wanna be good for you, daddy," you say softly, blinking at him with your misty doe eyes.
His grin spreads even wider. In your sane mind, you probably would have thought it looked like some creature out of hell. But right now, the look just makes you giggle and squirm.
Down below, he lines up at your entrance. He slides his tip through your arousal a few times, getting it nice and wet before he sinks in. A smile of your own rises on your face, and he groans at the deep satisfaction of having your cunt embrace him so readily.
"Perfect little pussy, fuck," he grunts, "Think it's the best I've ever had."
You preen at that compliment. He balances his forearms on each side of your head as he begins to thrust. Your legs rise up and lazily wrap around his waist, which he loves. He can't get enough of the fact that you want him, that you're pushing him deeper and not letting him pull out too much.
His head falls beside yours, letting you hear every pant and grunt that falls from his lips. Your walls squeeze around him every so often. The noises make your tummy flutter for him. It drives you wild to know you brought him to such a state of lust.
"Christ, you're so fucking tight," he mumbles.
You giggle again and drape your arms around his shoulders. Your eyes flutter shut. You just get lost in the feeling of him inside you, his cock battering all your sweet spots just right. He leans in and kisses at your neck. His hips pump deeper, ramming his shaft further into the warm depth of you.
In this moment, everything feels so good and pure. You can't even imagine any of the pain he inflicted on you before. It all feels like a distant dream. Memories that belonged to someone else, not you. At this second, it feels as though this bliss will last forever. Just you and him tangled in the throes of passion without a concern for anything else happening beyond the privacy of his room.
When you open your eyes, they're a little watery from all the stimulation and how good it feels mixed with your saccharine thoughts. You arch off the bed a few inches, pushing your pert breasts against the warmth of his chest. He pushes you back down with ease, keeping you angled exactly where he wants you.
Pulling back a little to look at your face, he smiles when he sees the water gathering in your eyes.
"Oh, those are the tears I like to see," he croons.
You moan, a little shiver coursing through you. It only encourages him to pound his hips harder against you, in and out, in and out, until you're both approaching the edge.
"You gonna cum again for me, sweetheart? Show daddy how good he's making you feel?" he murmurs.
"Yeah, mhm, ah-" you whimper, "I wanna cum daddy, wanna cum for you."
"I know you do," he chuckles, "I can feel it."
Your cunt contracts and releases around him with increased frequency now. He knows you're moments away from reaching the peak. Swiveling his hips, he tries to strike that chord and bring you crashing down.
You whimper, the pitch getting higher as the glass gets closer to shattering. Finally, with one good jerk of his pelvis, you tense up and cry out. A couple tears trickle from your eyes. Your nails dig into his shoulder blades.
Your body trembles and rolls with the feeling. He fucks you through it, savoring every delicious squeeze of your cunt around him. A few breathless groans rumble out of him. He gets every last second in your hole he can before he has to pull out.
He snaps his hips back, replacing the tightness of your pussy with his hand. It's not the same, but it will do. He gives it a few quick strokes before he explodes and spills on your belly. You lift your head and watch as the ropes of hot, sticky cum land on your skin.
His hips jerk with each surge of release firing from him. When he finishes, his head hangs, and he takes a moment to catch his breath. He scoots off of you and cools down beside your body on the bed. It's quiet for a few moments; though, he's never one to be vulnerable, so he doesn't let the silence linger for too long.
"You feeling better?" he asks and rotates his head to look at you.
You nod, visibly more relaxed than before.
"Thank you, daddy," you say, sweet as can be, before leaning in and pecking his lips.
He stares at you for a few moments in fond satisfaction. Then he gets up, and pulls you to your feet with him.
"C'mon. Let's get you cleaned up," he says.
You follow obediently to the bathroom where he wipes you off with a damp rag and makes sure you're all set to get some rest after. Both of you make your way to the dresser next. He pulls another set of those panties out and slips you into them. They don't feel so horrible this time around, but in the back of your mind, you're sure that won't be the case tomorrow morning. A soft, thin shirt covers your upper body next. It's the same baby pink color as the dress, but you don't mind since it's much more comfortable.
On your own, you tuck yourself to his side for the short walk back to the bed. He climbs in first and then tugs you into your spot next to him.
"I want you to try and get some rest," he tells you, stroking down the side of your face, "When you wake up, I'll get you something to eat, but for now, I want you to take a nap, ok?"
You aren't particularly tired, but while living here, sleep has become your greatest method of escape. You never reject a chance at it. The only thing is, right now, you don't really want to escape. You don't feel a horrible gnawing sensation from being so close to him.
However, you agree anyways because daddy knows best for you, and you don't want to make him upset.
You lie your head on his chest and snuggle up to him. He holds you close, rewarding the compliance by rubbing your back.
"Sweet dreams, babydoll," he murmurs.
You shut your eyes, allowing your mind to recede into visions of the life and people you had before this. The life you still hoped one day you would get back, even as it became more and more like a fantasy rather than a realistic future.
#negan x reader#negan smut#negan x you#negan smith x reader#negan smith x you#negan smith smut#twd x reader#twd smut#twd imagine#twd x you#twd x y/n#ch: negan ���
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❅・WHISPER OF THE HEART
SYNOPSIS — The three times he tries to tell you, and the one time he actually does.
WC — (9k)
CONTENT: SFW, mentions of alcohol, smoking, slight PDA, mild language warning, smooch!.
a/n: hey chat! this is a longgggg chapter heh... thank u sooo much for all the support on woth! this is the first fic ive ever actually finished and it means so much to me, so i hope you enjoy! reblogs, likes, and comments are much appreciated ^*^
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New York City, New York, USA
2016
"Thanks," you murmur to the taxi driver, slipping him a few crumpled bills from your purse before pushing open the door. The city air clings to your skin as you step onto the sidewalk, exhaustion settling deep in your bones.
You make your way into your apartment building, the familiar hum of late-night quiet wrapping around you. The concierge greets you with a polite nod, and you return it with a tired smile before heading toward the elevator, already thinking about the comfort of your bed.
As you step into the elevator, you sigh, slipping off your heels with a quiet exhale. The cold tile on the floor sends a brief shiver up your spine, a contrast to the warmth lingering on your skin from the long night. Exhaustion seeps into your bones, settling heavy in your limbs as you lean back against the wall, letting your eyes flutter shut for just a moment, the soft hum of the elevator lulling you into a haze.
Just as you step out, your phone rings. You can never escape work.
With a sigh, you fish around in your purse for the keys to your tiny studio apartment, balancing the phone between your shoulder and ear. The strap of your bag slips down your arm, your heels dangle from your fingers, and exhaustion tugs at every muscle, but you still pick up.
On the other end, your coworker’s high-pitched voice rings out, too loud for this late at night.
“Did you hear?” she asks in English, excitement threading through her words. “Our firm is looking for a new partner. There’s no way it won’t be you.”
You pause, keys clenched in your hand, your tired mind struggling to process what she just said. The weight of the night lingers in your bones, but suddenly, sleep is the last thing on your mind.
You swallow, shifting your phone back into your hand. “What?”
Your coworker laughs, the sound bubbling through the speaker like this news isn’t the most important thing you’ve heard all week. “You heard me! The firm’s adding another partner. They’ll probably announce it by the end of the quarter. And let’s be real—who else would it be?”
Your fingers tighten around your keys. You should be thrilled. This is what you’ve been working toward, every late night, every weekend sacrificed, every case you carried on your back. Yet, standing here, barefoot in the hallway of your apartment building, the weight of exhaustion pressing into your skull, you just feel… drained.
“You think so?” you ask, voice steady, but there’s something unreadable in your own tone.
“I know so,” she says, completely certain. “Everyone does. You deserve it.”
You deserve it.
You let out a breath, pushing the key into the lock. The door creaks open, the dim glow of your apartment welcoming you back. Dropping your bag on the floor just inside, you switch the phone to your other ear, stepping in and shutting the door behind you.
“Guess we’ll see,” you say, because it’s easier than admitting the thought of another promotion—of more responsibilities, more sleepless nights—feels exhausting rather than exciting.
Your coworker rambles on, but you barely hear her, your eyes drifting toward the city lights outside your window. You should be proud. You should be excited.
So why does it feel like you’re suffocating? “Hey, listen,” you mumble as you walk into the kitchen, flicking on the dim overhead light. The glow casts long shadows against the countertops, the quiet hum of your fridge the only background noise. “I’d love to chat, but I had a long day. Give me a call if anyone at the office needs anything, okay?”
Your coworker lets out a dramatic sigh. “Fine, fine. But you better celebrate when they announce it. No excuses.”
You force a chuckle, already reaching for a glass to pour yourself some water. “Yeah, yeah. We’ll see.”
She hums in approval before hanging up, leaving you alone in the quiet of your apartment.
Setting your phone down on the counter, you press your palms against the cool surface, exhaling slowly. The weight of the day clings to you, heavier now that the conversation is over. The apartment feels smaller than usual, the air thick with something you can’t name.
Just as you start the stove for dinner, reheating the leftover takeout from two nights ago, your phone rings again.
You don’t even glance at the screen. It’s work. It’s always work.
“I left twenty minutes ago,” you sigh, tucking the phone between your shoulder and ear as you poke at the takeout container with a pair of chopsticks. “What could you possibly need now?”
Silence.
Your brows knit together as you lower the heat on the stove. “Hello?”
Then, a voice which is smooth, familiar, and entirely unexpected rings out in Japanese.
“You really need to check whose calls you answer.”
Your stomach flips. It’s been ages since you last spoke your first language, but that’s not what makes your breath hitch. It’s the voice itself, one you haven’t heard in far too long.
“Shoko?” you ask, disbelief creeping into your tone.
She exhales, the sound half amusement, half something else. “It’s been a while.”
You pinch the bridge of your nose, staring at the steam rising from your half-heated leftovers. “I don’t know,” you say again, the words heavy on your tongue. “I should be thrilled. This is what I’ve been working toward, right? But I just… I don’t feel it.”
Shoko exhales, the faint crackle of her cigarette audible through the receiver. “Sounds like burnout.”
You scoff, rubbing slow circles into your temple. “More like I don’t even know if I want it anymore.”
Shoko stays quiet for a moment, letting the weight of your words settle between you. “You sound miserable,” she finally says, blunt as ever.
You huff out something between a laugh and a sigh. “Thanks.”
“I’m serious,” she says. “You’re running yourself into the ground for something that’s not even making you happy. I hate to break it to you, babe, but that’s not exactly sustainable.”
You bite your lip, glancing at the clock. 11:17 PM. You’re exhausted, starving, and yet you feel no closer to an answer.
“Sho,” you say softly, barely above a whisper.
She hums in response, exhaling a slow breath.
“What time is it in Japan?”
“Noon,” she answers easily. “Why?”
You stare at the steam curling from your half-forgotten dinner, at the way the city lights flicker against your kitchen window, casting reflections that feel distant—like they belong to someone else’s life.
“I think…” You pause, pressing your lips together before forcing the words out. “I think if I don’t make partner, I’m going to come home.”
Shoko doesn’t react right away, the silence stretching between you, filled only by the faint sound of her lighter flicking open. “Yeah,” she finally says, voice unreadable. “You’ve been overdue for a visit.”
You swallow, shifting your grip on the phone. “No,” you say, steady this time. “I think I’m going to move back.”
There’s another pause, and then Shoko exhales again. This time, not from her cigarette. “Well, shit.”
You let out a breath, somewhere between a laugh and a sigh. “Yeah.”
She’s quiet for a long moment before she speaks again, softer now. “You’re serious?”
You glance around your apartment, at the cold, impersonal space that never really felt like home. You think about the endless cases, the long nights, the exhaustion that never seems to lift.
And then you think about Japan.
The familiar streets. The people you left behind. The life that maybe, just maybe, you were meant to return to.
“Yeah,” you whisper. “I think I am.”
“Well, we all miss you, so,” she says, a teasing lilt in her voice. “That’s a win for us.”
You huff a quiet laugh, transferring your dinner onto a plate. “Yeah, I miss you guys too.”
There’s a comfortable pause, the sound of Shoko taking a drag filling the silence. Then, casually, she says, “Speaking of home… you’ll have to be back in four months.”
Your hands still. “Four months?”
“Mhm.”
You frown, setting your plate down on the counter. “Why?”
Shoko exhales, like she’s debating how to phrase whatever she’s about to say next.
“Remember that girl I introduced you to?” she asks. “Before you left.”
You hum in response, setting your fork down. “Yeah, of course. The one from karaoke, right?”
A pause. Then, casually, like she’s talking about the weather, Shoko says, “I proposed.”
You blink.
Your brain stalls for a second, the words not fully clicking. “You… wait. You proposed?”
“Mhm.”
“To her?”
“No, to my other girlfriend,” she deadpans.
You gape, still trying to catch up. “Shoko. That’s huge. That’s…why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
Shoko exhales, and you hear the flick of her lighter again. “Dunno,” she says. “I guess I figured you were busy. And I didn’t want to just drop it on you over text.”
You run a hand through your hair, shaking your head with a disbelieving laugh. “Holy shit. You’re getting married?”
“Seems like it.”
A warmth spreads in your chest, pushing past the exhaustion, past the weight of everything else. “Sho,” you say, softer this time. “That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you.”
She chuckles, and even through the phone, you can hear the rare, genuine happiness in it. “Yeah,” she murmurs. “Me too.”
You lean against the counter, the corners of your lips tugging up. “So, what’s the plan? When’s the wedding?”
“I just told you… four months,” she says, and you can hear the smirk in her voice. “So, like I said, you have to be back.”
"Yeah, Sho," you say, forcing a small smile. "Of course. It works perfectly, the quarter will end then, so I can take time off."
"Thanks, babe," she says, voice light, but then she adds, "Satoru will be there too."
Your stomach twists.
You sigh, leaning against the counter, rubbing your temple. "Of course he will."
You haven't spoken to him in months. Something you swore wouldn’t happen, something you both promised wouldn’t happen. But it did. Because no matter how much you wanted to keep him close, it hurt too much to be away from him.
So you let the distance grow.
And now, after all this time, you’re going to have to face him again. “How is he?” you ask, trying to keep your voice steady.
Shoko exhales, the sound crackling through the receiver. “He’s in Shanghai, managing the office there.”
You blink. “Shanghai?”
“Yeah,” she says. “Took the position a few months back. He’ll be back next month, probably.”
You grip the edge of the counter, the news settling in a way you weren’t prepared for. “I didn’t know he left.”
There’s a beat of silence. Then, softer, Shoko says, “Yeah. He asks about you a lot.”
Your heart stumbles.
Shoko sighs. “None of us really know what you’re up to, though. You just kind of… disappeared.”
You press your lips together, staring at the city lights flickering outside your window. You did disappear. You left, and you stayed gone.
And now you’re realizing he was looking for you anyway.
You swallow, shifting your grip on the phone. “Yeah, well… I guess that was the point.”
Shoko hums, not pushing, but she doesn’t let it drop either. “You gonna talk to him?”
You let out a quiet laugh, shaking your head. “I don’t know.”
“You should.”
“Should I?”
Shoko sighs. “He still cares about you, you know.”
You close your eyes for a second, inhaling slowly. “Yeah,” you murmur. “That’s the problem.”
The line is quiet for a moment. Then, a long exhale. “Well,” she says, her tone shifting back to something lighter. “You have four months to figure it out. In the meantime, I’ll send you details about the wedding.”
You nod, even though she can’t see it. “Yeah. Do that.”
“And take care of yourself, okay?”
A small smile tugs at your lips. “You too, Sho.”
“Always.”
There’s a click, and just like that, the call ends.
You stare at your phone for a moment before setting it down on the counter. The weight of the conversation lingers, heavy in your chest.
Four months.
Four months until you go home. Four months until you see everyone again.
Four months until you see him.

Okinawa, Japan
4 months later
Gojo stares at his reflection in the mirror, running a hand through his gelled hair before sighing and ruffling it slightly. Too stiff. He always hated when it felt unnatural.
The wedding was in a few hours, and for the first time in years, he was nervous. Not for Shoko. She was the least likely person to get cold feet.
No, Gojo Satoru was nervous because of you.
It had been nearly four years since he’d last seen you. And a year since you disappeared, since you stopped answering calls, since you let the distance settle between you like an unspoken agreement neither of you were brave enough to break.
But now, you were here. Back in Japan. And if the lump forming in his throat was any indication, he wasn’t ready to see you again.
He adjusts his tie, staring at himself in the mirror, willing his nerves to settle.
It’s just you, he tells himself. The same you he’s known forever.
Except it isn’t. It’s been too long. And if he lets himself think about it too much, he knows he’ll start wondering…
What if you’ve changed? What if he has? What if you see him tonight and realize that whatever was between you two before is gone?
He exhales sharply, shaking his head. No. He’s not doing this.
Grabbing his sunglasses off the counter, he throws them on, smirks at his reflection, and turns on his heel.
If he was going to see you again tonight, he’d do it the way he knew best: pretending like this wasn’t killing him inside.

The drive to the wedding venue is short, the coastal roads of Okinawa stretching lazily under the late afternoon sun. Gojo has the windows down, the warm sea breeze ruffling his suit jacket, but it does nothing to ease the restless energy simmering under his skin.
By the time he pulls up to the beachside resort, guests are already arriving, weaving through the sand in elegant summer suits and breezy dresses. The sky is soft with fading sunlight, hues of pink and orange painting the horizon, the waves crashing gently in the background.
He spots familiar faces instantly. Nanami (ever punctual) standing near the open air bar, already nursing a glass of whiskey. Utahime, fussing over the flower arrangements like she’s personally invested in their placement.
And then there’s Shoko, standing off to the side, cigarette between her fingers, her usual lazy smirk in place.
Gojo steps out of his car, making his way over, hands shoved into his pockets.
“Look who decided to show up,” Shoko greets, exhaling a slow stream of smoke.
Gojo grins. “You think I’d miss your big day? I live to watch people make terrible decisions.”
She snorts, shaking her head. “Still the same asshole.”
“Don’t sound so surprised,” he teases, plucking the cigarette from her fingers and taking a slow drag.
She watches him for a moment, her smirk shifting into something knowing. “She’s here, you know.”
Gojo inhales, the cigarette smoke burning slightly in his lungs. He lets it out in one slow exhale.
“Yeah,” he says, voice even. “I know.”
Shoko tilts her head, watching him carefully. “You gonna talk to her?”
Gojo huffs a laugh, flicking the cigarette into the sand. “Dunno. Guess that depends.”
“On?”
He slides his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose, eyes flickering toward the crowd gathering by the ceremony arch, scanning, searching.
He sees you.
Standing near the water, dress flowing with the breeze, head tilted back in laughter at something someone just said. The glow of the sunset kisses your skin, highlighting every familiar curve, every detail he swore he wouldn’t forget.
His stomach tightens.
Shoko follows his gaze, chuckling. “Yeah,” she says, amused. “You’re so fucked.”
Gojo pushes his sunglasses back up, forcing a smirk. “Please,” he scoffs. “I invented unfazed.”
He doesn't react at first. At least, not outwardly. But Shoko knows him too well. She catches the way his jaw shifts ever so slightly, the way his fingers twitch in his pockets.
“She’s single,” she repeats, watching him closely. “She and that med student she was dating broke up nearly a year ago.”
Gojo hums, tilting his head slightly. “Med student?”
Shoko rolls her eyes. “Don’t play dumb. You knew about him.”
He did. He just didn’t like to think about it. Not that it mattered now.
“So what happened?” he asks, feigning nonchalance.
Shoko smirks. “She never told me the details, just that it wasn’t working out.” She pauses, letting the weight of her words settle. “She’s been back in Japan for a few weeks now, settling in. Didn’t tell anyone until she landed.”
Gojo exhales slowly through his nose, shifting his weight. He wants to ask why you came back, but he doesn’t. He figures if he wants answers, he’ll have to get them from you himself.
And that? That’s the part he’s not sure he’s ready for.
Shoko eyes him, amused. “You’re really not gonna say anything to her?”
Gojo shrugs, plastering on a lazy grin. “Dunno. Guess that depends.”
Shoko snorts. “On what?”
“On if she wants to say something to me first.”
Shoko gives him an unimpressed look. “God, you’re impossible.”
But Gojo’s already scanning the crowd again, sunglasses sliding down just enough to catch another glimpse of you.
Still laughing. Still glowing. Still you.
And now, there’s nothing stopping him from walking over. Except, of course, himself. Gojo exhales slowly, rolling his shoulders back like he’s trying to shake something off.
Shoko watches him, unimpressed. “Look, Satoru,” she says, voice steady. “You haven’t talked to her in a year. You haven’t seen her in four. And yet, you still love her.”
His eyes cast down to the ground.
“She’s here now,” Shoko continues. “Don’t let her slip away.”
Gojo forces a grin, tilting his head. “Who says I still love her?”
Shoko snorts. “Oh, please.” She flicks her cigarette into the sand, crossing her arms. “I have known you for a long time. You might be a world-class idiot, but even you can’t lie to yourself that well.”
His smirk falters for half a second, but it’s enough for Shoko to know she’s struck a nerve.
Gojo lets out a sharp breath, shoving his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know, Shoko,” he says, voice lighter than he actually feels. “Maybe she doesn’t want me to talk to her.”
Shoko raises a brow. “And if she does?”
Gojo says nothing.
She sighs, shaking her head. “You always do this.”
“Do what?”
“Talk like you don’t care when you clearly do.”
Gojo chuckles, but there’s no humor in it. “What do you want me to do, Shoko? Walk up to her like nothing happened? Like I didn’t let her leave without a fight? Like I didn’t spend years wondering if I should’ve chased after her?”
Shoko watches him for a moment, then says simply, “Yes.”
Gojo turns his head slightly, looking at her from the corner of his eye.
Shoko sighs, her voice softer now. “You loved her, Satoru.” A pause. “You still love her.”
He clenches his jaw. “Yeah,” he mutters. “I know.”
She nudges his arm, nodding toward you. “So what are you waiting for?”
Gojo inhales sharply, looking over at you again. You’re standing near the water, toes buried in the sand, looking out at the horizon like you don’t have a single worry in the world.
He swallows. God, you still look the same.
Shoko flicks his forehead. “Go.”
Gojo sighs dramatically, rubbing the spot she just hit. “Fine,” he mutters. “But if she yells at me, I’m blaming you.”
Shoko smirks. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”
He rolls his shoulders, squares his jaw, and starts walking.
Every step feels heavier than it should, but he’s done waiting.
Gojo approaches slowly, heart thrumming against his ribs, fingers twitching at his sides. He isn’t sure what he expects. Hesitation, maybe, or the kind of polite distance that says we’re different people now.
But when he finally gets close enough, when he clears his throat and murmurs, “Hey, princess,”—
You turn so fast that the hem of your dress catches in the breeze, eyes going wide before lighting up with something familiar, something warm.
“Satoru!”
And then you’re in his arms, wrapping around him without hesitation, holding him tight like no time has passed at all.
His breath catches.
For a moment, he forgets everything: all the distance, all the unanswered calls, all the nights spent wondering if you ever thought of him the way he thought of you.
Because right now, in this second, you feel the same.
And that? That’s enough to ruin him all over again. Gojo exhales slowly, steadying himself as you pull away, though your hands still rest lightly on his arms.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” you say, eyes scanning his face like you’re trying to memorize him all over again.
He smirks, slipping his hands into his pockets. “Where else would I be? Shoko would’ve hunted me down if I missed this.”
You laugh, shaking your head. “That sounds about right.”
There’s a brief pause, the waves crashing gently in the background, the warm sea breeze tugging at the edges of your dress.
“You look good,” you say, tilting your head slightly. “The hair’s still ridiculous, though.”
Gojo scoffs, feigning offense. “Excuse you, this is a luxury cut from only the finest stylists.”
You snort. “You mean yourself and a pair of kitchen scissors?”
His grin widens. “Hey, a man’s gotta have talents outside of being devastatingly handsome.”
You roll your eyes, but the smile tugging at your lips is unmistakable. “Same old Satoru.”
“Same old me,” he agrees. “And you—you’re still glowing. New York must’ve treated you well.”
You hesitate for just a second before nodding. “It was… an experience.”
Gojo raises a brow. “That bad?”
“No,” you say quickly. “Not bad. Just… different.”
He hums, studying you. There’s something unspoken in your words, something just beneath the surface that he’s tempted to pry at. But instead, he tilts his head toward the view of the ocean behind you.
“And now you’re back?” he asks.
You inhale, glancing out toward the horizon. “Yeah,” you murmur. “For good.”
Gojo watches you carefully. “Does that mean I get to bother you again on a regular basis?”
You let out a soft laugh, finally looking back at him. “Have you ever needed permission for that?”
His lips curve into something softer, something real. “No,” he admits. “Guess not.”
And just like that, for the first time in years, things feel easy again. “So,” Gojo drawls, shifting his weight as he watches you carefully. “Why’re you leaving New York?”
You exhale through your nose, looking down at the sand for a moment before meeting his gaze again. “I worked my ass off there,” you say, voice even but laced with something sharp, something tired. “Late nights, impossible deadlines, carrying cases that should’ve never been my responsibility. I did everything right.” You pause, your fingers curling slightly at your sides. “And after all of that, they gave partner to some guy they pulled from another firm. Someone who never spent a single year proving himself the way I did.”
Gojo whistles low, shaking his head. “Damn. And here I thought I had no loyalty.”
You huff out a laugh, though there’s no humor in it. “Yeah, well. Turns out, no matter how good you are, there’s always someone else they’d rather bet on.”
He watches you, taking in the slight furrow of your brows, the tension in your shoulders, the way your fingers twitch like you’re holding back the urge to do something.
Gojo tilts his head. “So, what now?”
You shrug. “I figured if I was going to start over, I might as well do it somewhere that actually feels like home.”
Something shifts in his expression, something small but impossible to miss. He nods slowly, rocking back on his heels. “Guess that makes sense.”
You glance at him, lips quirking. “Don’t sound too relieved.”
Gojo smirks, tilting his head down slightly so his sunglasses slip just low enough for you to see his eyes. Sharp. Knowing.
“I’m devastated,” he says, deadpan. “Truly. How will New York survive without you?”
You roll your eyes, nudging him lightly with your shoulder. “Right. Because that’s what matters here.”
Gojo grins, but there’s something softer in it now, something unguarded. The weight of years unspoken lingers between you, but for once, it doesn’t feel suffocating.
Just as you’re about to say something, a familiar voice cuts in.
“Hey guys,” Haibara calls, jogging over with an easy smile. “They’re starting.”
You glance toward the ceremony setup, where guests are beginning to take their seats, the sun now dipping lower toward the horizon.
You mumble a quick, Be right there, as you bend down to grab your purse, smoothing out your dress as you stand.
Gojo watches you for a moment, then tilts his head slightly. “Sit with me?”
There’s something in his voice, not quite hesitant, but not as cocky as you expect either. It’s a small ask, an opening, a bridge.
You meet his gaze, searching for something, before finally nodding. “Yeah.”

The ceremony went beautifully. The sun cast golden hues over the waves, the breeze carried soft laughter through the air, and for a moment, everything felt perfect. Shoko, effortlessly elegant, stood at the altar with that rare, genuine smile of hers, looking at her bride like she was the only person in the world. The reception as well was lively, the air buzzing with laughter, music, and the clinking of glasses. The sun had fully dipped below the horizon, leaving only the warm glow of lanterns strung along the beach, casting golden hues over the crowd.
You were in the middle of sipping your champagne when the DJ’s voice boomed through the speakers.
“Alright, ladies and gentlemen, you know what time it is! All the single folks, get up here. It’s bouquet toss time!”
A mix of cheers and groans rippled through the crowd. You chuckled, about to sit this one out when a familiar hand gently nudged your lower back.
“Go on,” Gojo murmured beside you, a smirk playing on his lips.
You gave him a look. “Oh, please. I am not fighting anyone over some flowers.”
Gojo grinned, leaning in just slightly. “Oh, I know that. But imagine if you did win? Might be a sign, princess.”
You rolled your eyes but allowed yourself to be herded toward the small crowd forming behind Shoko. The bride stood at the front, bouquet in hand, looking entirely too pleased as she eyed the group gathering behind her.
“You ready?” she called over her shoulder.
A few cheers. Some laughter. Someone muttering, God, I hate this part.
Shoko smirked, lifting the bouquet into the air. “Alright, one… two… three!”
She tossed it high, the bundle of flowers arching perfectly through the air. You had no intention of actually catching it, barely reaching, but then—
It landed right in your hands.
The crowd erupted into cheers and laughter as you blinked down at the bouquet, momentarily stunned.
“Oh, shit,” Geto cackled from somewhere in the back. “That’s fate right there.”
You groaned, holding the flowers up like evidence against you. “I swear, I wasn’t even trying.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Utahime teased, elbowing you lightly. “Sure you weren’t.”
You shook your head, turning to head back to your table. only to find Gojo standing there, arms crossed, the most insufferable grin stretched across his face.
“Well, well, well,” he mused, tilting his head. “Would you look at that?”
You sighed, marching past him. “Don’t start.”
“Oh, I’m absolutely starting,” he said, falling into step beside you. “First, you move back home. Now, you’re catching bouquets? You’re really making it easy for me, sweetheart.”
You whacked his arm lightly with the bouquet, shaking your head as he laughed.
But despite your protests, you didn’t let go of the flowers.
The reception carried on, laughter and music spilling into the warm night air as drinks flowed freely. The smell of grilled seafood and sweet sake mixed with the salty breeze, and for the first time in a long time, you felt present. Not trapped in your own head, not weighed down by endless work or stress. Just here, surrounded by people you loved.
And Gojo.
Who, you soon discovered, had taken full advantage of the open bar.
By the time the speeches had wrapped up and the dance floor was in full swing, he was leaning back in his seat, tie loosened, two top buttons undone, a half empty glass of whiskey dangling lazily from his fingers.
You raised a brow as you sat back down beside him. “You’re drinking whiskey?”
Gojo hummed, swirling the liquid in his glass. “What?”
You smirked, crossing one leg over the other. “I think you usually stick to cocktails with stupid names and too much sugar.”
He grinned, lifting his glass in a mock toast. “Gotta keep you on your toes, princess.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the way your gaze lingered on him.
He looked… relaxed. Really relaxed. A little too relaxed.
“You’re drunk,” you accused.
Gojo scoffed. “Please, it takes more than a few drinks to take me down.”
As if to betray him, he swayed slightly as he leaned forward, resting an elbow on the table. His shades were long gone, probably tucked into his pocket or abandoned somewhere on the beach, but without them, his eyes were slightly hazy, a shade softer than usual.
You huffed, shaking your head. “Uh-huh. And how many drinks have you had?”
Gojo counted on his fingers before frowning, then trying again. After the third attempt, he gave up. “Enough,” he said finally, grinning. “Enough to know I really missed you.”
Your breath hitched.
For a second, neither of you spoke, the words hanging between you like an unspoken truth.
Gojo was watching you, still playful, but there was something deeper beneath it, something raw, something unguarded, something he probably wouldn’t say if he were sober.
“God,” he exhaled, running a hand through his already-messy hair. “It’s been so long. You just up and left me.”
You blinked. “I—”
“Like poof—gone. One day we’re fine, and the next, you’re halfway across the world, working insane hours, ignoring my texts—”
“I did not ignore your texts,” you interrupted, frowning.
Gojo huffed, slumping forward onto the table, resting his chin in his palm. “Maybe not at first,” he admitted. “But eventually.”
You sighed, guilt twisting in your stomach. He wasn’t wrong. Somewhere along the way, between late nights at the office and the growing ache of missing home, you had started responding less. Not because you wanted to, but because every conversation with him made it harder to be so far away.
“You could have reached out too, you know,” you said quietly.
Gojo scoffed, pushing his glass toward you. “Drink with me.”
You gave him a look. “You are drunk.”
“Not drunk enough.”
You hesitated, but after a moment, you picked up the glass, taking a small sip. The warmth of the whiskey burned on the way down, and Gojo grinned, watching as you set it back down.
“Atta girl.”
You shook your head, but there was a small smile tugging at your lips.
Gojo sighed dramatically, stretching his arms over his head. “You know, you could have called me,” he mused. “Instead of suffering alone in your fancy New York apartment.”
“I wasn’t suffering,” you argued.
Gojo arched a brow. “Oh yeah? Then why’d you come back?”
You opened your mouth, then shut it again.
Because you’d lost. Because the city had drained you. Because you had worked yourself to the bone, only to realize too late that it wasn’t worth it.
But instead, you rolled your eyes, playing along. “Because I missed your company, obviously.”
He grinned, slow and easy, and for a second, just a second, the years between you didn’t feel so distant.
You sighed, stretching your arms over your head. “C’mon,” you said, standing up. “You need some air.”
Gojo pouted but let you pull him up, stumbling just slightly as you led him away from the bar, away from the noise, the music, the people.
The night air was cool as you stepped onto the quieter part of the beach, the only sounds now the waves lapping against the shore and the faint hum of the reception in the background.
Gojo sighed, tipping his head back to stare at the sky. “Damn. I forgot how nice it is here.”
You nodded, crossing your arms as you stared at the water. “Yeah. Me too.”
A pause.
“I meant it, you know,” Gojo said, voice softer now. “I really did miss you.”
You swallowed, turning to look at him. His usual bravado was still there, but his eyes—his stupid, stupid pretty eyes—were unreadable.
“Yeah,” you said. “I know.”
He smiled, small and knowing. “Good.”
Gojo rocks back on his heels, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he stares out at the waves. The night air is thick with the scent of salt and the distant echo of laughter from the reception, but here, away from everyone else, it feels like it’s just the two of you.
It’s quiet for a moment, too quiet, and you can tell he’s thinking about something. His fingers twitch at his sides, a small tell you used to pick up on back when you saw him every day.
Then, he sighs. “You really weren’t going to call me, were you?”
You blink, caught off guard. “What?”
“When you moved back,” he clarifies, finally turning to look at you. “If Shoko hadn’t told me, if she hadn’t invited you here, were you ever going to tell me?”
You hesitate, the answer caught in your throat.
Because no, you weren’t. Not at first, at least. You had spent years convincing yourself that space was the best thing for both of you. That Gojo Satoru, your best friend, your stupid first love, was better left in the past.
But standing here now, with him looking at you like this, you wonder if you had only been trying to save yourself from the pain of seeing him move on without you.
“I don’t know,” you admit, voice quieter now.
Gojo lets out a breath, shaking his head. “Yeah. That’s what I thought.”
Something about the way he says it makes your stomach twist. You frown. “Satoru—”
“No, it’s fine,” he cuts in, though his voice lacks its usual carelessness. “I get it. You were busy, you were stressed, life happened, I’ve heard it all before.”
You scowl at him. “That’s not fair.”
He scoffs, running a hand through his hair. “Oh, I’m the unfair one? You left, you stopped answering, you decided that whatever we had wasn’t worth keeping.” He exhales sharply, shaking his head. “And I let you.”
Your chest tightens. “What was I supposed to do, Satoru?”
He laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “I don’t know! Call me? Text me? Maybe not disappear without a trace?”
You shake your head, frustration bubbling under your skin. “It wasn’t that simple.”
“Wasn’t it?” he challenges, his voice rising just slightly.
You stare at him, heat crawling up your spine. “You don’t get to be mad at me for moving on, Satoru. You had your own life here. You had—” You pause, inhaling sharply. “You had everything.”
Gojo goes eerily still, his jaw tightening. “Everything?”
You press your lips together, regret blooming before you can stop it.
His eyes darken. “You think I had everything?” He takes a step closer, and suddenly, the space between you feels impossibly small. “God, you really don’t get it, do you?”
Your breath catches. “Satoru…”
He shakes his head, laughing under his breath, but it sounds bitter, almost resigned. “You left, and you just assumed I was fine. Like I was supposed to just move on,” He exhales, dragging a hand down his face. “I—”
He cuts himself off, fingers curling into a fist at his side.
And you realize he was about to say something else. Something dangerous. Something real.
But he doesn’t.
Instead, he steps back, sucking in a breath like he’s trying to reel himself in. “Forget it.”
You blink, still reeling. “What?”
“Just forget it,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair again. His jaw is tight, his shoulders tense. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
Your chest tightens. “Satoru…”
“You don’t get to do that,” he says, voice raw.
You blink. “What?”
“You don’t get to come back after years and act like we’re fine,” he continues, stepping closer. His voice isn’t raised, but there’s something sharp in it, something frayed at the edges. “Like we’re just—just friends who lost touch.”
You inhale, your pulse thrumming against your ribs. “Satoru, I—”
“You left,” he cuts in, and there it is again, that hurt he’s been swallowing all night. “You left, and you didn’t look back. And I… I let you. I let you go because I thought it was what you wanted.”
You stare at him, speechless.
He exhales, running a hand through his hair, eyes flicking to the ocean like he’s trying to keep himself together. “I told myself it didn’t matter,” he continues, quieter now. “That you’d be better off. That I’d be fine. But then tonight, when I saw you…”
He stops. Laughs.
It’s hollow.
Like he already knows there’s no going back from this.
“God,” he mutters, shaking his head. “I can’t do this anymore.”
Your breath catches. “Do what?”
He turns back to you.
“I love you.”
The words hit like a tidal wave. Your stomach drops. Your breath hitches.
Gojo lets out a sharp exhale, as if saying it physically took something from him. His eyes don’t leave yours, his chest rising and falling too fast, his hands clenched into fists at his sides.
“I love you,” he says again, steadier this time. “And I have for years.”
You can’t breathe.
“I thought I could move on. I thought I had moved on,” he continues, voice thick with something you don’t recognize. “But then you show up, and suddenly it’s four years ago again, and I’m right back where I started, standing in front of you, knowing I’m in love with you, and not knowing what the hell to do about it.”
Silence stretches between you, heavy and endless.
Your heart aches.
He laughs under his breath, but it’s wrecked.
“Say something,” he pleads, voice barely above a whisper.
You open your mouth. Then close it. Because what do you say to that?
That you had spent years convincing yourself you could live without him? That every text you ignored, every call you let go unanswered was just you trying to bury the part of you that always belonged to him?
That even now, after all this time, you still don’t know how to be in a world where Gojo Satoru isn’t the center of it?
You inhale, hands trembling.
“Satoru,” you whisper.
His expression flickers—hope, fear, everything all at once.
And you realize this time he’s not running.
So neither do you.
Your breath stutters, chest tightening as you stare at him, at the raw, unfiltered emotion carved into every inch of his face.
Gojo Satoru, who has always had the world in his palm. Who has never had to ask for anything, never had to wait, never had to wonder.
But now, he’s standing in front of you, vulnerable, waiting.
For you. For an answer. And it’s terrifying.
You lick your lips, voice barely above a whisper. “Why now?”
Gojo exhales sharply, like the question physically hurts.
“I don’t know,” he admits, voice thick, desperate. “Maybe because I thought I had more time. Maybe because I spent years convincing myself I was better off letting you go.” His hand lifts, fingers twitching like he wants to reach for you but doesn’t. “Maybe because I thought you’d be happy. That you’d find someone who could give you everything.”
Your chest tightens. “And you think you couldn’t?”
Gojo scoffs, shaking his head. “You know me. You know me.” His voice is low, cracking at the edges. “I ruin everything I touch.”
You take a step closer. “That’s not true.”
He lets out a sharp laugh. “Isn’t it?”
You frown. “Satoru—”
“I should have said it then,” he interrupts, voice raw. “I should have told you before you left. I should have, fuck, I should have fought for you.” His eyes burn into yours, piercing, relentless. “But I didn’t. I let you go. And now, now you’re standing here and I…”
His voice falters.
And you realize, he’s scared.
Gojo Satoru is scared.
Of what? That it’s too late? That you’ll turn him away? That you’ll tell him that the years between you were enough to erase whatever it was you once felt?
Or is he scared that they weren’t?
That despite everything, despite the time, despite the distance, you still love him too.
The thought shakes you. Because the truth is, you don’t know what you’re supposed to say. You don’t know how to put into words the years of silence, the ache of missing him so deeply it felt like something had been carved out of your chest.
You don’t know how to tell him that even now, after all this time, a part of you still wants to run straight into his arms.
So instead, you say:
“You’re drunk.”
Gojo stills, blinking at you.
“What?”
“You’re drunk,” you repeat, voice steadier now.
He scoffs, stepping back like you’ve just physically hit him. “Oh, that’s what we’re doing?”
You swallow hard. “I’m just saying—”
“No, I get it,” he says, voice laced with something bitter. He nods once, jaw clenching. “You don’t believe me.”
“Satoru—”
He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair before turning away.
And you realize he’s leaving.
Panic surges in your chest.
Because if he leaves now, if he walks away, you don’t think you’ll ever get him back.
Then, before you can stop yourself, before you can think too hard about it, you reach for him.
“Satoru, stop,” you say, voice barely above a whisper, but it’s enough.
He freezes.
You exhale, fingers tightening around his wrist. “Just… wait.”
For a long moment, he doesn’t move. Then, slowly, he turns to face you.
And the look in his eyes nearly knocks the breath from your lungs.
Because it’s hope. It’s waiting.
For you.
Gojo doesn’t move. He doesn’t pull away.
He just waits. Your fingers are still wrapped around his wrist, your grip firm, like you’re afraid that if you let go, he’ll disappear. He doesn’t try to shake you off, doesn’t say anything at all. He just watches you.
You inhale slowly, the weight of the moment pressing down on your ribs.
Because you know, if you say the wrong thing, if you hesitate for too long, he’ll take it as an answer. And he’ll walk away. For real this time.
“I do believe you,” you finally whisper.
His breath catches, his eyes flickering with something unreadable.
You swallow, your fingers still curled around his wrist. “But I also know you, Satoru. And I know that you say a lot of things when you’ve been drinking.”
His jaw tightens, his expression darkening. “You think this is just drunk talk?”
You shake your head. “I think you’ve been holding onto this for so long that you don’t know what to do with it.”
His lips part slightly, as if he wants to argue, but he doesn’t.
Gojo Satoru, the strongest, the untouchable, the one who never says what he really means until it’s too late.
The one who only ever lets himself feel when he knows there’s nothing left to lose. And you’ve been the only exception.
“I need you to say it tomorrow,” you say, voice quieter now. “Not tonight. Not like this.”
Gojo exhales sharply, eyes scanning your face like he’s trying to figure out if this is just another way of pushing him away.
It’s not.
You know that.
And deep down, he knows it too.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, he steps closer, so close you can feel the warmth of him, smell the faint trace of whiskey on his breath.
Then, slowly, deliberately, he lifts a hand, his fingers grazing along your jaw before cupping the side of your face.
“Tomorrow,” he murmurs, his voice lower, softer.
Your heart hammers against your ribs.
“Yes,” you whisper.
Gojo studies you for another second, then, he lets out a breath. A real one. One that makes his shoulders loosen, his grip relax.
“Okay,” he says, nodding once. “Tomorrow.”
But neither of you move. His fingers are still on your skin, his eyes still searching yours. And for a split second, you think he’s going to kiss you.
You want him to.
But instead, Gojo does something else. Something far worse.
He presses his forehead against yours. And lingers.
Your breath catches, fingers trembling slightly where they’re still wrapped around his wrist.
This is something he’s never done before. This is intimate. This is closer than anything else has ever been.
You feel everything; his breath against your lips, the way his fingers twitch against your jaw, the way he wants to move, but holds himself back.
And for the first time in four years, you don’t feel like he’s slipping away.
You close your eyes.
Tomorrow.

The morning sun filters through the sheer curtains of your hotel room, casting soft, golden light onto the sheets. The waves outside are calmer than they were last night, their rhythm slower, gentler—like they, too, are waiting.
Your fingers curl slightly against the sheets, your heartbeat drumming in your ears as you stare at the ceiling.
Today.
Gojo Satoru is going to tell you he loves you today.
You take a slow breath, steadying yourself. Last night, you’d been certain that this was what you wanted, certain that this was what he wanted. But now, in the quiet of the morning, the weight of it sits heavier on your chest.
You turn onto your side, your fingers grazing the edge of your phone. The screen lights up as you tap it. No new messages.
You frown.
Gojo isn’t exactly known for his patience. He should have texted by now. Instead, silence.
You push yourself up, rubbing your temples. The reception dinner lasted late into the night… maybe he’s still asleep?
You refuse to entertain the possibility that he’s backing out.
Swinging your legs over the side of the bed, you grab your phone and quickly text him.
[You]: You alive?
A minute passes. Then another.
[Satoru]: Barely. Meet me downstairs for breakfast?
You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.
[You]: Give me 10.
When you step into the hotel restaurant, you spot him immediately.
He’s sitting at a small table near the window, his sunglasses perched on his nose, one arm draped over the back of his chair. Even from a distance, you can tell he looks tired—his hair is slightly mussed, his shirt wrinkled like he just threw it on without thinking.
But he’s here.
And when he sees you, he grins.
That stupid, lazy, lopsided grin that makes your stomach flip.
You make your way over, slipping into the seat across from him. He watches you for a second before pushing a cup of coffee in your direction.
“Figured you’d need it,” he says.
You raise a brow, taking a sip. “Is this a peace offering?”
His smirk softens. “More like an apology in advance.”
Your stomach tightens.
“Apology for what?”
Gojo exhales, leaning forward slightly, his forearms resting against the table. His sunglasses hide his eyes, but you know they’re fixed on you.
“Last night.”
The air between you shifts.
You grip the coffee cup a little tighter. “You said you’d say it today.”
“I know,” he murmurs. “And I will.”
You don’t speak. Just wait.
Gojo lets out a slow breath, reaching up to slide his sunglasses off, placing them on the table between you.
His eyes meet yours. No masks. No jokes. No teasing.
“I love you,” he says, just like that.
Your breath catches.
Gojo watches you, his expression unreadable.
“I don’t just mean now,” he continues, voice quieter. “I mean always.”
Your fingers tighten around your cup, the warmth of the coffee grounding you as your heart pounds against your ribs.
“I loved you when we were kids,” he admits, his voice steady but thick with something deeper. “I loved you when you left. I loved you when I tried to forget you. And I sure as hell love you now.”
The words land between you like a weight, like a truth too big to ignore.
Your throat tightens. “Then why—”
“Why didn’t I say it sooner?” he cuts in, shaking his head with a wry smile. “Because I was a coward. Because I thought I could live without you.” He exhales. “Because I thought if I let you go, I wouldn’t have to find out what it felt like to lose you.”
Your vision blurs slightly, your grip loosening on the cup.
“But I lost you anyway,” he murmurs, tilting his head slightly. “Didn’t I?”
You press your lips together, forcing the lump in your throat down. Gojo reaches across the table, his fingers brushing against yours.
“But I can’t do it again,” he says, and this time, there’s no playfulness in his voice. Just raw, aching honesty. “So if you’ll have me, if you’ll still have me, I won’t waste another goddamn second pretending that you’re not everything I’ve ever wanted.”
Your breath stutters.
Because thi is everything you never let yourself hope for. And it terrifies you. Because if you say yes, if you let yourself have this, there’s no turning back.
You inhale shakily, blinking up at him.
“Satoru,” you whisper.
His fingers tighten against yours. And then you nod. His shoulders sag with relief.
And before you can second guess yourself, he’s standing, pulling you up with him, wrapping his arms around you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear again.
But you won’t.
Not this time.
Because you’re done running.
You bury your face in his chest, your fingers curling into his shirt.
“I love you too,” you breathe.
Gojo holds you tighter, his breath shuddering against your hair. For the first time in years, he feels like he can breathe, like the weight he’s been carrying for so long has finally, finally been lifted.
Your arms wrap around him, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, and he wonders if you can feel it too, the way everything just settled. Like this was the only way it was ever meant to end.
“Say it again,” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, desperate.
You exhale against his chest, tilting your head slightly. “You’re so needy.”
“Yeah,” he admits without shame, burying his face in your shoulder. “So say it again.”
You laugh softly, warm and familiar. You pull back just enough to look at him, your hands still resting against his chest. His arms remain locked around you, refusing to let go.
“I love you,” you say, voice steadier this time.
Gojo lets out a breath, his grip tightening like he’s afraid the words will slip through his fingers. “God, I should’ve made you say that years ago.”
You roll your eyes, but your smile betrays you. “Maybe if you weren’t such a coward.”
His lips twitch. “Guess I deserve that.”
You hum in agreement. “Yeah, you do.”
He doesn’t argue, just tilts his head slightly, his nose brushing against yours.
For a second, everything slows. You can feel his breath against your lips, his arms caging you in like he’s never letting you slip away again. The tension between you crackles like static, familiar yet overwhelming.
You know what’s coming next. “Let me kiss you.”
You raise a brow. “Satoru, we’re in public.”
He shrugs, completely unbothered. “I don’t care.”
“Well, I do,” you deadpan, glancing around at the handful of early risers scattered across the hotel restaurant. Some are eating, some are talking, and a few are definitely stealing glances at the two of you.
Gojo sighs dramatically, leaning in just a little closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Please? Just a small one.”
You roll your eyes, but he looks so stupidly earnest that you sigh, relenting. “Okay, fine. A small one.”
The second the words leave your mouth, he wastes no time, dipping down and pressing a quick, chaste kiss to your lips. It’s soft, barely more than a brush, but it still sends warmth curling in your stomach.
You barely have time to process it before he pulls away with a smug grin. “See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“You taste like coffee.”
He grins, eyes half-lidded, thumb brushing over your cheek. “You taste like forever.”
You cringe. “That was terrible.”
“Yeah, but you love me, so now you’re stuck with it.”
You shake your head, but there’s no hiding the way your heart pounds against your ribs, the way you can’t stop smiling.
And in that moment, with the morning sun streaming through the windows, your coffee growing cold, and his hand holding yours like it’s meant to be there. You realize you never stood a chance against him in the first place.
Satoru loves you.
And you love him back. This time, neither of you are running.
This time, you’re home.
pls do not copy, repost, or claim my work as your own :) if you have any issues with what i wrote or noticed any mistakes, let me know privately. thank you for reading <3 taglist: @suki91 @mikkmmmii @zeunys @lastbreathtaken @perqbeth @maximumuzuamy @etsuniiru @minascasket @qsidrea @april-in-the-city
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