#lmfao started feeling insecure in my writing

[dcwnrisen-aa]

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[ughdontbeboring]

pain relief

Austin Butler x WoC Reader (can be read by anyone)

Reader is trying to hide her chronic pain from her man

warnings: chronic pain (migraines), insecurities, smutty

THIS FOR ALL MY CHRONIC PAIN GIRLIES!!

notes: WOW even with all the Austin wips in my notes this is my first one to be posted, wow idk makes me nervous 😅 yall I hope I did our sweet boy justice.

No description of ethnicity one comment of complexion that’s it but reader when I write is always written with myself in mind. It’s soooo self indulgent.

this is SUPER self indulgent, So I first thought of this from his interview with Jimmy Kimmel when they asked about the migraines as an excuse not to have sex and of course his response was spot on he said “I don’t know what a migraine is” and Jimmy said “of cour you don’t” lmfao bc idk if I’d even turn him down if I had one!

I had a really bad period of back to back migraines for a couple months and this is what my brain rewarded me with in between one. I really don’t know what this is yall lol so don’t ask idk if I’m actually happy with it but yea lol

I put x reader but idk I guess it can tell be read that way, I don’t have the energy to re write it y’all so

now that I’m starting to feel better I will be catching up on my other wips.

if you like it, love it, fuck with it leave some love. I DO NOT give permission for my shit to be used anywhere by anyone.

🤕

Don’t focus on the pain, don’t focus on the pain she repeated over and over again in her head from under the safety of the soft cool cotton comforter as if it would keep away the pounding pain, protect her from it. 

It would not. 

Even with the house dead silent, the fan on for a little noise and all the black out curtains drawn that her boyfriend insisted he buy when he learned about her diagnosis from childhood- she knew relief would not find her. She shifted trying to readjust and find a more comfortable position to lay in, the little pocket above her head letting much needed cool air into her little bubble. 

She knew a few weeks ago she should have reached out to her neurologist but she’d just been so busy it kept slipping her mind and the aspirin had been holding her over but this? no this one was a monster and it was full peak right now. It started almost a day ago after the LA screening for The Bikeriders and had not gone away.

It didn’t help that they also just got back from the UK press tour. All the flying, the red carpets, the flashing lights and noise was starting to take its toll. Recently her boyfriend of just a little over a year revealed to her how much he enjoyed having her accompany him and how he loves sharing those moment with her. Hence all the traveling she’d done recently at his side. 

They still believed in healthy space but they truly enjoyed being together as much as they could. 

Usually she’d fly out every 2 or so weeks to wherever he was since her job was more flexible, their relationship was long distance since she was still living in New York. Which they’d also discussed changing that status but they both agreed to iron out the plans once the tour was over and he had a few weeks of down time. They figured the actual move would happen after he filmed in NY the end of summer. Knowing summer was her favorite time to be home, ever the thoughtful boyfriend. 

Though she was nervous to tell her family. They adored Austin but they’re a very close family and not seeing them everyday would take a lot of time to adjust to but it was important at this point in their relationship to actually be together. He even mentioned he’d love to look for a New York apartment which she had thought was unnecessary they could just stay with any of her family members when they visited until he reminded her she wouldn’t want her family to know she was his pretty girl who got cock drunk and loud when he fuck her stupid. Yes their own place was necessary. 

She felt a sharp pain at her temple and groaned. It was like her brain was telling her to stop thinking about all the stress and think about the pain she was in, which she didn’t want to do either honestly. She wish she could sleep it off but it was impossible. 

She flipped her pillow to the cool side and once again tried to empty her brain. Deep breaths girl deep breaths, the pain isn’t forever. 

She heard the front door slam shut up, which made her curl up even more in a fetal position and the deep smooth voice of her favorite person calling out to her. That voice was her favorite in the whole world but right now she needed silence. She had hoped the migraine would have been over by the time he got back but she wasn’t so lucky. Now she would have to face the music.

She had been telling him the past couple weeks it was just little headaches nothing serious, he knew she got migraines but hadn’t experienced any with her so far. The past 2 years she hadn’t needed to be medicated, the doctor couldn’t tell her why they suddenly stoped and why she was only getting little headaches every once in a while. This is why she was so unprepared and completely out of her medication she hadn’t needed in so long; she truly thought they had finally stopped for good. 

She couldn’t have been more wrong with the pain that was throbbing in her head. The front of her skull a constant ache and the back at the base of her skull and neck a wicked throbbing. The pain in her neck and shoulders unbearable even right between her eyes a sharp pain. She felt like she was dying. The fatigue of the attack her body was under was starting to catch up to her. She was trying to hold back the tears but the sound of boots pounding up the stairs along with the call of baby had her on the verge of a tearful melt down. 

She wanted to avoid the conversation that would surely come after this, when he would witness her in a peak migraine state. She felt horrible because she knew he’d feel like it was his fault for encouraging her to come with him to all the press events but it wasn’t his fault. 

She was an adult and she should have addressed this weeks ago with him and her doctor when the headaches started and not try to hide it to avoid worrying him. 

She should have been honest and though she has no reason to be she was scared to tell him.  She was scared he may think she wasn’t able to handle this kind of life. What if he wanted someone who didn’t need to recharge so often? Or someone who could just do anything with him at anytime not be laying in a bed sometimes for more then a day in pain and grumpy. Someone who couldn’t be touched in this state or be the prefect girlfriend. 

She also knew she sounded ridiculous that wasn’t who Austin was but it didn’t stop the insecurity she had about her migraines and how they held her back from life sometimes. Held her back from being fully emerged into his lifestyle. The guilt wrecked her. 

She knew she was mostly feeling insecure about her migraines because of those comments. She wasn’t normally insecure but recently she had read some comments which usually don’t bother her, about her and Austin’s relationship and how unhappy she looked being on press tour and if she was so unhappy why not just leave so he could be with someone who was happier with him. Those people obviously ignored the photos that were not taking at events that showed how happy they were but not knowing or they probably didn’t care she couldn’t be happier than she was, she was just suffering from more frequent migraines. 

So of course they’d focus on the bad, not all the fans but some. A lot of fans, who she felt were real fans could simply see how happy Austin seemed again. She knew how that felt, she met Austin as a fan and all his relationships and flings after Vanessa seemed lackluster and without any real connection, so she got it. But some of the comments were really getting to her at this moment. Especially the ones about how he looked happier with Kaia (which she knew was a lie from hell, she heard all about that relationship from Austin, his last ex) and then the ones about Vanessa looking happy ALL the time, which was funny because Austin spoke to her about their relationship also and if fans only knew it wasn’t always perfect, yes they loved each other but still there was a lot of hurt in that relationship for Austin. 

Then when those things would pop up she’d think what she’d say to her mans ex’s if she ever met them or if she’d just ignore them. 

Her head throbbed hard from all the unnecessary thinking and stress she was bringing onto herself, things she normal never paid any mind when the bedroom door swung open. 

Baby? He called again, steps coming to a slow stop halfway into the room when she assumed he noticed the state of the room; all the curtains drawn, the TV and lights all off, no noise but the fan she placed near the bed even though the central air was on and the pile of blankets on the bed covering her balled up body. Not a single part of her visible as she quickly stuck her hand out the air pocket at by her head careful to not let any light in and weakly waved at him. She could hardly speak let alone move her head to acknowledge him anymore. 

“Baby you still in bed? It’s 10” He asked as he walked closer, not that he cared it was just unusual for her and caused a bit of concern to form in the pit of stomach. 

He watched the head or he’s assuming area of the blanket shake in a yes motion. Even with the black out curtains there was still just enough light to make out everything in the room. 

“Baby what’s wrong” he asked in a soft voice from the edge of the bed, his hand running gently up and down some part of her body under the blanket. Her body coiled away from his touch. He tried to shake away the slight sting it caused him.

“uh migraine” she whispered weakly, if he wasn’t mistaken he could hear the underlying embarrassment in her tone. What could she be embarrassed about? 

“Oh shit baby, you need anything? Anything I can do?” He genuinely asked in gentler tone, though she couldn’t see how his eyes soften knowing she was probably in an immense amount of pain. 

He felt useless. 

“Uh no, just gotta be left alone for a while” this time there wasn’t any embarrassment in her tone just guilt. 

Austin tried to school his own face and tone of disappointment. He know he couldn’t do anything truly to make it go way but he wanted to help, wanted to be there for her like she’d been there for him on all his overwhelming days and nights from filming and traveling. His sweet girl deserved that. Then he thought back to this one thing he’d came across when he was reading online about migraines when she first told him she got them pretty frequently in the past. He quickly dismissed that idea, a slight blush creeping up his neck, he felt a little embarrassed himself for even thinking to suggest that, who says that to their partner Austin? He thought. She clearly needed to be alone. 

“Ok I’m just head downstairs then, call me if you need anything”  

He took another moment eyeing her blanket fortress before turning and slowly heading Towards their bedroom door.

“Austin?” He heard her call shyly, her voice still muffled from the layers covering her.

“Yea?” His own tone was laced with curiosity.

“Uh…there…there is one thing you could probably do for me…if you don’t mind..if you do it’s ok-“ 

He was quick to be at her side, slipping out his shoes, ready for whatever. His stomach burned a little thinking she may ask what he thought of just briefly a moment ago.

“Anything” 

He watched her baby blue fresh set of nails slip from under the blanket and her hand reaching out for his. His own large hand was in hers before he even registered it moving. She tugged him lightly, his body following gently. He was careful not to touch her as he laid next to her, his chest near where her head was, he remembered her saying how she didn’t like to be touched when she was having an episode, everything felt more intense and for some reason it usually amplified the pain. 

“Can I use your hand for a while?” She asked shyly still under the safety of the blankets, he could hear her clearer through the hole she left at the top. 

He felt guilty at the blood that rushed his cock.

“Of course” He said squeezing the right hand that held his left one. 

He allowed her to maneuver his hand so that his left hand was under her head, she placed his fingers at the base of her skull, thumb on one side and his fore finger and pointer finger on the left side.

“Can you keep your fingers like this and apply as much pressure as you can? This are some of my pain points and the right kind of pressure can ease the pain a little, usually I tie a scarf but it isn’t always helpful” she mumbled weakly. 

He was confused. 

“Oh ok..I..I thought-“ 

This wasn’t something he read, though he seen something about heat compress. He was confused because he thought she was going to ask for his hand to give her an orgasm. That was something interesting that he had came across. It said it didn’t work for everyone hence why he was slightly embarrassed to suggest it, he didn’t want her to think he was only thinking with his dick. 

He applied the pressure anyway, happy to help anyway he could.

“Is that good baby?”

“You can press a bit harder” 

He did as she said, feeling her body adjust just the tiniest bit next to him. A soft sigh leaving her lips.

She soft voice thanked him. He hummed a response, his own body adjusting slightly to get more comfortable.  He would lay here as long as she needed.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, she called his name.

“Yea?” He asked feeling more tired himself than what he thought he was when he got home.

“What were you going to say? When I asked for your hand?” She replied softly voice full of the need for sleep.

His felt that fire and a blush come back. He chuckled to himself. Now was good as anytime to confess his unconventional suggest and figure out if it was something helpful to her or if it was something she even heard of before. 

“Uh..I..I had been reading about migraines when you first told me you got them, trying to understand them better-“ He was cut off by a whimper she made, a pitiful sound of endearment. He knew what she was thinking, she was taken back by his willingness to be there for her however he could and that meant trying to understand what she would be going through. He kept going. “And I was reading how orgasms can sometimes help temporarily, but I didn’t want you to think I was just thinking with my dick” he concluded softly. Feeling better about just getting it out and in the open, it didn’t feel so dirty anymore, like he was taking advantage somehow. He knew her better than to think she would think that but it didn’t stop his insecurities about the topic. 

He felt her body stilled.

shit was she mad at him? He felt the slight unease creep into his stomach and his insecurities intensify at the thought that she would be mad at him for suggesting such a thing when he noticed her right hand slip from under the covers. 

Her soft palm facing up and open in a silent question and permission, are you still willing? And of course you can touch me. 

He let go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding and gave her his right hand, her soft fingers gently pulled his under the covers, her forearm resting ontop of his own as she slipped his hand under hers to be guided where he couldn’t see. Once his rough fingers tips ghosted over her wet pussy he didn’t need anymore guidance, he knew her too well, maybe better than she knew herself. 

She gasped at the first touch and her hand left his to grip his forearm, as he’d started to explore her wet folds.

“How are you this wet already sweet girl? Hmm? Just can’t help yourself around daddy?” Austin questioned softly from above her, awe clear in his voice. He stayed laid on his left side, careful his body other than his hands didn’t touch her. 

“Fuck” she groaned quietly from under the blankets. “Guess my body always needs you daddy” she moaned out. He groaned as his fingers applied more pressure and speed. 

He felt the twitch in cock as she coated his fingers and moaned softly and weakly. His fingers switching between slow and quick. He was so painfully hard. He had to stay focus this was about her but how could he when her tight wet warm pussy was calling him? Begging for him. Her body was hardly moving just her hips grinding slowly into him.

Even fully covered by a ton of blankets he was still completely in-tune with her body. He didn’t need to see her face though he wished he could to kiss her soft lips, to know the pleasure he was giving her, to know she was close. 

He blindly felt the warmth and wetness of her pussy driving into his hand slowly chasing the pleasure he was somehow able to provide in this state.

“Cum for me pretty girl, take it” he groaned lowly.

She moaned out, she sounded so exhausted and pitiful but he could tell she wanted this, needed it and he was more than happy to give it to her. 

She squealed softly as she rocked against his hand, her body exploding and the sweetness of her drenching his fingers, her face seeking the comfort of his embrace under the blanket, he moved over slightly as his left hand still pressed to the pain points guided her, help her her blanket covered forehead lay against his chest. Her hips kept rocking slowly chasing the feeling.

“There you go baby” his husky voice praised even with a migraine she was still his good girl. So wet and warm and tight for him.

Moments passed with his fingers still cupping her warm sticky folds and the other still applying the pressure she required, neither hand moved as he felt her drift of to sleep, her body finally relaxing from the endorphins of her orgasm. 

Austin woke to the press of a soft warm body slightly on top of his and light kisses and licks against his neck. He stirred and tried to adjust his eyesight to the darkness that had over taking the room. It must be late.

“Hey baby” her voice sounded softly, her lips suddenly near his own. She kissed his plump mouth, pecking kisses over and over. She sounded a lot better.

His arms moved to embrace her, pulling her further ontop of him and as close as he could get her. 

“Hey baby” he replied his eyes seeking hers. The dimmed light from the hallway allowed him to finally see her. Though he didn’t physically see her face earlier, he knew she looked more well rested than she had in the past day or two. Her eyes had a fatigue to them but he was sure that would clear up from the migraine once she got some more rest. All and all she almost looked back to her normal self. 

Her hand snaked up his chest to cup his face.

“Thank you, for everything” she told him a little emotionally.

He brought his lips to her for a passionate kiss, before laying his foreheads on hers.

“You don’t ever have to thank me, I’m yours, that’s what I’m here for, to take care of you” he whispered against her lips.

She pecked his again. 

“And I’m still going to say thank you” she mumbled.

He pinched her side playfully as she laughed and pushed at him.

They just gazed at one another and she had to blink to stop the tears. She had woke to Austin on his back, her body against his. She had unconsciously sought his while she slept as the tension faded from her body and to her surprise his hand was still gripping the back of her head. The pressure had loosed when he eventually fell asleep but his hand was still there nonetheless. She didn’t think she could love the man more and here she was slipping further in the ocean that was Austin and some how she was learning she could breathe underwater. He was everything to her.

“I have a surprise for you sweet boy” she said smiling at him like he hung the moon and she’d die on that hill that he did.

Austin’s chest ached in a good way. He never wanted this to end. Couldn’t imagine it being any other way. Everything that had failed for him relationship wise lead him to this moment with her. He was better for it. 

“Hmm, what’s that?” 

She nodded her head to the side of him and that’s when he noticed the en-suite bathroom door open and the soft glow of candles burning. The scent of oils and salts hitting him. He quickly turned back to her.

“Wh-“ 

“You were knocked out and I wanted to return the love” 

“You little sneak” he accused tickling her sides.

She was quick to scramble away from his hold and climb over him getting to her feet and out of his grasp when his hands followed her as she head toward the bathroom.

She stopped short of the door as she pulled her oversize graphic shirt over her head. 

“I would do that you know, sometimes, never with men though, I hated being touched during my migraines but when it was really bad and I had the energy I would do it myself to help ease the pain” she spoke from the doorway to the bathroom, the soft light surrounding her body, giving a even more beautiful glow to her brown skin. “I didn’t think it would ever work from someone else’s hand, not too sure what that means handsome” she smirked.

So she had done that before he thought but just never with man, no man had ever made her comfortable enough to try let alone achieve bringing her relief. Austin felt those butterflies in this stomach again, he felt a sense a pride swell in his chest. His cock was even stirring again. That’s exactly who he wanted to be for her, the man that gave what she needed, what others couldn’t, he wanted to be the one no other man could compare to. He wanted to be her all.

She smirked at him almost as if she could read his every thought and she could because they mirror her own and how she felt about him.

“Lets go loverboy, it’s time for the real show” 

X

X

ALSO yall don’t have to say anything abt it but i find it helps SOMETIMES but alone so I thought who could make this work for me with another person of course our boy Austin could bc he’s so perfect. He’s the only one I’d let touch me with a migraine lol

[earthtooz]

x : KISS ME ! :*+ﾟ whisper what your heart shows, all i want is you

in which: a stealth mission gone awry leads to a chain of events (or kisses) where you question your relationship with bakugou.

warnings: 8K WORDS, FLUFF WITH ANGST, so much kissing lmfao, slowburn, sfw steamy scenes + suggestive ending- starts intense and ends intense, pining idiots, lovesick idiots, soooo much swearing because it's bakugou, platonic friendships with todoroki and midoriya, all characters aged 22+, gn!pro-hero!reader, bad writing pls excuse me.

a/n: SEVENTH ATTEMPT AT POSTING THIS!!!! GOD this took six days to write, i am exhausted. if you don't like it i will cry bc this drained me, goodness, so reblogs appreciated! i'm so insecure abt this fic so pls tell me i did well, anyways. missed writing for my skrunkly boi!

# ONE ! - the first kiss. 

this was not ideal.

you listen with widened eyes and a racing heart as you’re pressed against the brick wall of a dingey alleyway, bakugou’s warm palms holding your hips tightly as his chest is pushed up against yours.

he is not looking at you, but instead, looking off to the side so he can hear a little clearer. on the other hand, all you could see was bakugou’s killer jawline, his perfectly smooth skin, and one half of his violent scowl. 

the silence is disturbing, all you can hear is your heartbeat and bakugou’s heavy breaths, anticipation weighing down the air as you both try to suppress your breathing.

then it comes. heavy footsteps. multiple of them. they’re running your way and at this rate, you’ll be caught by the enemy. what, with bakugou’s hulking figure and the hoodie that just barely covered his spikey blond hair, one glance to their left and you would be caught. 

this was no good. there’s no way to get out of this alleyway in time either without attracting attention and being caught.

having a stealth mission gone awry was really embarrassing, especially when you’re pretty sure that bakugou can feel your heartbeat reverberating against him. you hope that he chalks it up to the nervousness you were currently feeling rather than the effect his proximity had on you. or, just the general effect he had on you.

“they’re coming,” you whisper so that only bakugou can hear. he finally looks you in the eye, sneering with fury in his crimson eyes. you almost flinch from the intensity of his gaze.

“i fucking know,” he retorts. “our only options are fight or flight, i’m thinking we take them.” 

with a drawled out exhale, an idea pops into your head. he’s definitely not going to approve, however.

“i’m gonna kiss you and you’re gonna need to like it.”

the footsteps are getting closer, you can now hear mumbling of the enemies chasing after you and bakugou. their leader is shouting commands and the subordinates are obeying, responding in kind with an ‘sir!’.

“excuse me?”

he’s so beautiful up close. 

“just, trust me.” 

more shouts, more thundering footsteps, all silenced when you lean in to catch bakugou’s lips with yours. his exclamation of surprise is muffled before he promptly melts into you, hands now travelling up your waist as your arms wound around his neck. there’s an element of stiffness still as his mouth moves against yours, but you doubt you’re any better. 

this wasn’t your first mission together, and most likely won’t be your last. however, the missions he normally accompanied you on were ambush, patrol, and dealing with general threats. stealth missions were a completely different story because bakugou was the loudest hero to ever exist. 

so what was he thinking when he insisted on going along with you? for safety? he was the threat-

“jump,” his words cut through your thoughts like a warm knife through butter and with the way his hands sneak down to the back of your thighs, you can’t help but give in to his demands like a programmed machine. 

you wrap your legs around his waist, deepening the kiss whilst doing so.

bakugou presses you harder against the wall, ignoring the way his mouth smirks against yours as one of your hands go to cradle his jaw. you’re careful to not remove the hood covering his very obvious blond mop of hair.

you’re letting him lead you through the kiss and it’s intense to say the least. you’re getting increasingly light-headed, but no part of you wants this to stop, screaming with bliss as he avidly seeks your lips, even when you lean back for a short moment to catch your breath.

for an interaction purposefully orchestrated, he’s really getting into it. would he kiss all his coworkers like this when they asked?

several heavy footsteps pass by and you’re just in your right mind to hear someone say ‘get a room’ before fading away. you were safe, you could run and make your escape now- a message bakugou hasn’t yet comprehended despite how honed his senses are. with the last bit of conscious you have, you physically drag his face away from yours (otherwise you don’t think you’ll ever be able to stop him). 

there’s a moment of silence where you both just stare into the other’s eyes, lips swollen and eyes wide with the realisation of what just happened.

“they’re gone,” you whisper, tearing apart the post-kiss euphoria. “put me down.”

with a grunt, he obliges, allowing you to slip away from him and into the main road again. 

“let’s go whilst we have the chance. get ready to fly, blasty.”

bakugou is surprisingly silent for the remainder of the mission. 

# TWO ! - the fleeting kiss.

surprisingly, there hasn’t been much mention of the incident you had with bakugou ever since you returned from your stealth mission. intel was acquired, shared with the people who needed it, and nothing was discussed again. to be frank, you don’t know how to feel about it.

on one hand, you’re relieved to not be able to relive the experience again but on the other, you’re disappointed to not be able to relive the experience again.

it’s been back to normal with bakugou. the occasional middle finger in the hallways, sticking your tongue at him during meetings, going into his office to bug him and him being very irritated despite not having the heart to remove you. everything fell right back into place, with an obvious piece now awkwardly attaching itself to the puzzle. 

when you simply think about what happened, your heart begins to race uncontrollably and you’re rendered stupid for a minute as you have to collect yourself. 

which is why you were throwing your head back in frustration as the cursor of your laptop blinks back at you, a sentence half-written in mocking.

“fuck off,” you whisper to yourself, punching your head even though you knew it would do nothing to stop the replay of the memory. your eyes were beginning to feel sore, mind slowly entering a state of numbness as the idea of taking a quick nap on your desk seemed more tempting than ever. 

oh well, it wouldn’t hurt.

pushing aside your laptop, keyboard, and papers, your submission to sleep is quick and effortless, not even complaining about the roughness of your desk jabbing into your chest as you doze off. 

the door to the office opens, revealing bakugou standing in the doorway holding some files and a cup of tea- your favourite, to be precise. he furrows his eyebrows in confusion, swearing that you were in your office, except the sight of a totally barren room greeted him made him stop in his tracks. where could you have gone? 

then, he hears breathing coming from behind your desk and as the blond approaches your space, he can’t help the sigh escaping him at the sight of your figure hunched over your work, head rested on your hands. you were just hidden behind your office desk and the massive company monitors. 

if being a hero doesn’t kill him first, then how adorable you were just might.

“you have a couch in your office for a reason, dumbass,” bakugou breathes to no one in particular. 

placing the items in his hand on your desk, the pro-hero takes his time analysing the best way to smoothly pick you up without waking you. assessing the situation in record time, he slowly wounds his arms behind your legs and shoulders, effortlessly picking you up to walk the short distance to the couch.

it’s with an unmatched gentleness that he places you down on the piece of furniture, briefly observing how peaceful you seem. bakugou didn’t have it in him to be mad at you for slacking off. with how you dedicate so much of yourself to your duties, he knows first hand just how hard you work. 

he’s seen it since knowing you at u.a and he sees it now as you work at his agency.

he hopes you take care of yourself properly as well.

it hits bakugou that he still has work to be done and that he really should get back to his office to minimise some of the load. so, with a grunt, he stands up.

as a bid of farewell, bakugou places a hand on the arm of the couch before leaning in to press a kiss on your forehead, lingering there for a second before pulling away, retreating back into the hallways where his agency’s top-heroes worked. 

the domesticity of this encounter leaves him wanting more. an innate desire to care for you when times get rough settling stubbornly in his gut; and as a pro hero, times always get rough. however, bakugou knows he’s capable of holding up your load simultaneously to his, he just hopes you can understand that as well despite being relentlessly independent.

# THREE ! - the kiss to silence you. 

you meet your gaze in the full-length mirror of your office with a huff, adjusting the neckline of your attire as you turn around to check your backside in the reflection too. 

this outfit was mediocre at best and you didn’t feel stunning in it at all. there was no way it would match up to the extravagant outfits you’ve shown up to hero galas and balls in the past, but since the gala was literally tomorrow, and you’ve delayed getting a dress to this point, it was impossible to go for another fitting.

“y/n, have you got the signed files- whoa.”

you meet bakugou’s fiery gaze in the mirror, turning around to greet him with a shy smile, somewhat embarrassed that he showed up at the exact moment you were all dressed up. immediately, you try to play it cool but scolded yourself internally for ignoring the gut feeling that someone would walk in whilst you were trying on your outfit- you just did not preempt for it to be the most attractive man in the building. 

“uh yeah, i actually do have them. what do you need them for?” you ask, shyly using your hands to cover some parts of yourself despite bakugou already having seen a lot of your skin because of accidents and injuries on missions. 

“i gotta send them off to deku’s agency,” he mutters, keeping his gaze low as he treks over to your desk. if you weren’t too caught up in your own feelings of humiliation, you would’ve seen the way his ears flared red, the tint spreading to his cheeks.

then you suddenly blurt out a question for him. “do you think i look good?” 

you meet his gaze in the mirror again, subtly feeling a part of you swell in pride at the way his eyes rake over your figure.

“you look amazing. is the dress for tomorrow?” he begins to approach you, stopping when he’s right behind you. 

“yeah. i don’t really like it that much.”

“don’t be ridiculous. you’re a sight to behold.”

“thank you,” you mutter half-heartedly, lips twisting with uncertainty. giving bakugou the necklace in your hands that complimented the bracelets you adorned, he immediately understands the message. you try not to react when his warm hands come in contact with your neck. “i just don’t think this outfit is flattering though.”

with nimble fingers, he clasps the chain successfully. “why?” 

“the colour, the shape, it doesn’t feel right, and i really hate it. i would go out and try to buy another dress but there’s so little time, every appointment is booked because i was stupid enough to avoid getting-”

a kiss behind your ear silences you effortlessly and you feel your breath being stolen when notice bakugou craning his neck down to meet your height. 

“calm down, you’re beginning to ramble,” he whispers and you just stare at him with an agape mouth, something that causes him to smirk. then, his hands find their purchase on your waist and it takes a lot of your resolve to not melt into his warmth.

ever since the daring kiss you shared on the mission, bakugou’s been less and less conservative about the affection he shows you. from openly admiring you when having lunch in the agency cafeteria, to manhandling you freely, to leaving kisses, you don’t know if your heart can keep up with his sudden change in behaviour.

worst part is, you can’t tell if it means anything to him like it does to you.

bakugou is japan’s most desired bachelor. maybe apart from his attitude, there is no public figure adored more than the blond who is standing right behind you. he’s always been known to do things his own way. no rules or preconceived notions can hold him back from doing what he wants. perhaps his shamelessness is a new symbol of how comfortable he is around you, 

you just wish it could be something more; something more… intimate.

but you could never reach bakugou, could you?

“i think you look beautiful but my opinion doesn’t matter. you want a new dress?” asks the blond and you nod wordlessly. “i know a place. let me give them a call, owner won’t ever say no to me after i saved her from her. got so many last minute pieces from her store. i’ll cover the bill too, just make sure you like what you wear.” 

he walks away with new swagger in his stride and you can only stare after him, dumbfounded. 

well, at least your problems were solved. 

bakugou might become a new problem. 

# FOUR ! - the kiss of adoration. 

the nerves in the limousine were uncontainable. as your sidekicks chattered amongst themselves, trying to rid any anxieties for the long night ahead, you couldn’t help but recall your first gala a few years ago. a celebration to commemorate the heroes of japan and everything they do for the peace and safety was always a big deal.

however, having done this several times ever since graduating from U.A few years ago, there’s little for you to be nervous about.

funny that you were only a few years older than your youngest sidekick (who was 18 years old), yet you were already exhausted by all the extravaganza and decorum. 

as the limousine approaches the drop off area where all the paparazzi were waiting, it didn’t take long for a tremendous tattle of inaudible words and shouts to erupt from them given that the windows were not totally tinted, meaning they could identify who was inside. being one of the biggest hero agencies would have this effect, especially when you were representing the name of #2 himself. but, even if it wasn’t bakugou stepping out of the car himself, your rank still placed you remarkably in the greedy eyes of the public.

as your sidekicks file out one by one, with camera flashes practically every millisecond, the hype only worsens when you emerge.

the paparazzi are respectful enough to avoid the path where heroes were walking by and as you wave, smile, and bow to all of them, compliments of how stunning you looked and shouts of ‘look here!’ all faded into the crowd. then, you made it out.

“well, if it isn’t y/n,” a familiar, baritone calls out from behind you. 

at the sight of a kind, smiling face, you can’t help your grin from breaking out. “shouto. to what do i owe the honour?”

“no need to be so formal with me,” your dual-quirked friend says with open arms, ones that you rush into quite eagerly. shouto always gave such welcoming hugs, you’ve been weak to them since second year of u.a. you ignore the camera flashes in your direction. “i’m just happy to see you here tonight.”

“i’m happy to see you too.”

“knowing you, you probably want to escape from here as soon as possible through any means possible.”

“you are correct.”

“i hope you have room for another escapee.”

his questions causes you to recall fondly to the many galas and events both you and todoroki slipped out of- a feat easier said than done, especially when people are constantly on the look out for their top heroes. 

“i don’t know, i like to go solo,” you say with faux contemplation, “but you’re the only exception.”

“well, i’m honoured, especially since you look gorgeous tonight. your outfit is beautiful,” compliments todoroki before grabbing your hand to spin you around, an action you comply with readily and has you both chuckling to yourselves.

“thank you, shouto. you look irresistible as always.”

before he can reply, a familiar mop of green hair joins both yours and todoroki’s side and when you turn to see the face of the newcomer, midoriya’s smiling and bright expression greets you. he immediately forgoes all greetings. 

“y/n! you look like you came from a runway,” midoriya marvels before embracing you in a side hug, repeating the same action to the half-and-half hero in front of you. “stunning as always. you too, todoroki!”

you wave his compliment off, flattered at his honesty. “thank you, midoriya. i only managed to pull this look together yesterday if i’m being completely real,” you say with a small chuckle, “but you look very handsome tonight. love this suit, the colour fits you well!”

todoroki nods, “i agree with y/n, and, congratulations on your agency’s latest partnership.” 

“thank you! i’m excited to see what will come from it, hopefully a lot of good things because-”

“oi, cut it with the rambling, nerd!” 

ah, there he is. you never could really miss bakugou’s presence.

“you’re already beginning to soil my night,” the blond continues when he emerges from behind midoriya. they’ve grown to about the same height now, with midoriya still two centimetres or so shorter than bakugou, but it’s always funny to see how the latter acts as if he’s all big and intimidating (as if todoroki isn’t taller than him). 

“ah, kacchan!” midoriya greets, making room for the blond to fit in the circle as kirishima trails behind him. 

as soon as the red-haired notices you, he gawks, mouth and eyes wide. “y/n!” exclaims the hardening hero. “looking gorgeous, man!.”

“that’s what we all said,” todoroki deadpans and you feel a little flustered from all the eyes on you- especially with the addition of a certain crimson pair. “should we all head in now? the paparazzi is getting on my nerves.”

“sure,” agrees deku, who turns to you with an extended arm. “need any help?”

you’re about to take his offer and hold on before he’s unceremoniously pushed to the side by bakugou, who offers you his arm instead with a mean look directed to midoriya. a glance of knowing is shared amongst the rest of your former classmates as they all make their way up the stairs.

“i thought midoriya was perfectly capable of helping me himself,” you chuckle before latching on to his forearm. 

bakugou scoffs. “not as capable as me.”

“sure, because only the great, pro-hero dynamight can help me up the stairs.” 

“damn straight.” his pride is undeniably endearing, even if it’s a little pointless at times. 

as he guides you up the stairs, your heart flutters a little at the way he holds you so delicately, all of his attention directed upon you and your safety. when you reach the top, you’re about to enter the ball room and let go of bakugou to talk to more people, but it seems like the blond has other plans.

with a small tug, you’re directed back to him, about to collide with his chest until a hand on your hips stops your momentum.

“the stylist i gave you worked, huh?” he whispers lowly.

“yes she did. you really saved me,” you respond, feeling your heart skip a beat at the way his eyes rake over your body for a moment before he’s meeting your gaze again. “you think i look good?”

“i think you look fuckin’ breathtaking.”

you keen at his authentic compliment, trying not to let him see how it effected you. “well, this is all thanks to you so i owe you- money wise and everything else.” 

“you can repay me by bein’ my date for the night,” he suggests, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb before bringing it up to his lips, placing a delicate kiss there as he maintains eye contact.

you gulp, agreeing before you can even think about the magnitude of his question.

“you with me? you seem a little far away,” asks bakugou. far away was just the beginning of it.

shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you nod wordlessly before grabbing his arm to pull him towards the bustling crowd of heroes. every group if briefly silenced when you and the explosive hero pass by, eyes lingering a little too long at the arm that bakugou has around your waist.

this feels surreal. 

he stands behind you like an intimidating shadow as you both speak to a range of people from support tech ambassadors, business consultants, aspiring heroes and sponsors- a crowd that only grows with the years you’ve been working in the industry. 

surprisingly, no one is brave enough to question what is happening between you and bakugou upfront. 

eventually, everyone moves into a separate hall where dinner would be served. since you and bakugou were representing the same agency, your names were already on the same table. when realising that you were seated across from him, he scowls and shamelessly swaps the tags around, not at all remorseful when he sits down on his assigned seat and pats the vacant spot next to him. with an eye roll, you oblige dutifully. 

“hold still,” you command the blond before reaching over to fix his tie, tightening it and aligning it properly before sitting back in satisfaction at your efforts. “there. handsome and proper.”

“handsome, huh?” bakugou teases with a shit-eating grin and you scoff, pushing his face away jokingly. you mutter an unimpressed ‘whatever’, ignoring the laughter that rips from the blond. 

moving the conversation along, you sit up in your seat a little bit. “did you see who was sitting at our table when you moved everything around?”

“just a bunch of old geezers. there’s that one marketing manager of some support gear business who kept bugging me last year to consider partnering with him,” he scoffs. 

“your luck, huh?” 

“fuck off, i’m just gonna ignore him for the whole night.”

“sure, do whatever you want, big guy.”

“i will. these extras don’t matter when i’ve already hired all the best in their industries. you’re my first example of that.”

your heart flutters at his recognition, about to respond with a quip when all of a sudden, your table guests materialise in front of you. all of them take their respective seats, settling down with formal greetings as you adjust yourself as well. only bakugou was unmoving, leaning against the back of his chair whilst merely staring every down as they appeared; an attitude very in character for him.

the night goes along rather smoothly. you do majority of the talking, forcing bakugou to respond and answer questions here and there, which he begrudgingly does. at least the people that were on your table were talkative themselves and could converse amongst themselves, leaving you with enough mental space to not solely concentrate on the way the explosion hero was holding your hand under the table.

the occasional caresses he placed along the back of it was enough to slowly drive you insane. he was being really shameless about the whole physical affection ordeal. 

he acts similar to that a boyfriend should and the canniness has made you woozy. so much so that it strains your throat to breathe, hurts your heart to think about and makes your whole being itch with want.

what cemented your doom was the way he was willing to swap your plate with his if yours was a dish you didn’t like. he would offer to take the ingredients you weren’t fond of and give you the ones on his plate that you were. as if that wasn’t the most endearing thing he could do this evening, he would tell you that there’s food around your mouth before wiping it away. you owe a ‘thank you’ to mitsuki and masaru for raising him to be like this. 

when the final dish of dinner was served, many jumped from their seats with the opportunity to mingle around; something that occurred at your table too to your relief. as the representatives all place their business cards in front of you, you farewell them with a friendly smile before slipping the small slips into bakugou’s shirt pocket, something he allows you to do.

“dynamight,” an authoritative voice comes from behind and when you both turn around to see who the instigator is, you’re a little surprised to see a well-dressed man in proper business man attire. he resembled tony stark- even down to his goatee and moustache. “pleasure to meet you. my name is yuu noguchi and i am a specialist in support gear. may i have a second of your time?” 

your eyes widen in recognition at the name. the man standing in front of you was currently one of the most desired support gear directors in the industry and apparently, had the skills to benefit almost every hero, no matter how difficult their requests were. it was thanks to his quirk, something about limitless intelligence.

so it wasn’t only because of the tony stark resemblance that you recognised him. 

bakugou glances at you, inquiring for your approval which you give by ushering him out of his seat. as you watch him strut away with the yuu beside him, you can’t help but feel relieved because now your heart could have a chance to calm down and give your lungs a moment to breathe.

“am i right to assume that you and mr bakugou are an item?” comes a voice from your left.

it’s the old geezer your date was complaining about earlier. somehow he sneaked his way from across the table to right next to you, leaning over now-empty plates of food as he gives you a look that shakes you to your core. not in the good way that bakugou can do.

“only for the night,” comes your curt reply. “i am his date to this gala.” 

“fascinating.”

“what you find so interesting about that?”

“perhaps you’d rather i not say, but, to be truthful, my theory has been plaguing my mind all night.”

raising an eyebrow at him was his only indication that you wish for him to expand on his point.

he obliges. “well, you of course know about dynamite’s competitive spirit, and how he has been constantly battling deku in all realms of hero work? rankings, the amount of employees, even popularity.”

was mentioning midoriya necessary? their past history has never been the cleanest, and although you knew bakugou wished he could have a clean slate with the one for all user, sometimes their relationship brought a little awkwardness to conversations.

“i cannot help but assume that, in order to pass deku once again, he is using you to his advantage?”

you can’t help exposing your emotions through your microexpressions; something he catches onto. 

bakugou? using you? 

“right now deku is the hottest talk of the hero world with his latest partnership because of all the humanitarian advocacy he is partaking in. he’s gaining a lot of fans too. perhaps bakugou’s only way of upstaging midoriya is by using his well-liked status to the public a juicy scoop on his potential, new relationship, especially with one of japan’s favourite heroes. no doubt it will boost his name in the media, and give him a momentary push over the edge.”

you narrow your eyes at what his suggestion and although it pained you to admit, it had some credibility behind it. it even justified why bakugou has been acting weirdly attentive with you, and if you recalled properly, his sudden change in behaviour began around the news of midoriya’s initiative. 

but he’s not like that, right? your relationship can’t be reduced to simply article headlines and traction… right?

“that’s just my take as a specialist in the hero industry, specifically when it comes to brand and image,” the man ends, placing his hands on the table before standing up. “i hope the rest of the night treats you splendidly.”

when he waddles away, you’re left sitting at the same, empty tables. whilst the exterior may seem relaxed and collected, a whirlpool of thoughts erupt within, your thoughts jumbling and fumbling over one another.

without thinking, you end up at a table marked by todoroki’s agency logo, desperately searching for your dual-haired friend. in your haste, you didn’t preempt knocking into a body with hardened muscles and when you look up to see who was the glorified wall, you breathe a sigh of relief when it’s todoroki’s concerned face you see.

maybe fate was kind to you tonight.

“something wrong, y/n?” he asks in that caring tone of his.

“yes,” comes your quick and frantic reply. todoroki sees right through that frazzled expression of yours.

“is it bakugou?”

“yes- can we get out of here? i don’t care about propriety right now.”

“hold on, don’t get too ahead of yourself. the media will have a storm if they see us together after you’ve been accompanying dynamight the whole night.” 

“you’re right.” you’re could get a headache from simply imagining the repercussions you’re going to go through with your pr team if todoroki didn’t have his head on his shoulders. “do you have any solutions?”

“i could cause a fire and start an evacuation?”

“you’re ridiculous.”

“i was kidding. there is an authorised only back door escape near the bathrooms. i think it leads to the back of the building. does that sound better?”

“much. thank you, todoroki, i really appreciate it.”

“no problem. i’m looking forward to having a gossip ‘sesh’ about bakugou.”

you snort unceremoniously, amused by him and his deliberate choice of trendy language. if he was trying to cheer you up, it was working. 

following his instructions, you are more than relieved to see that the back door did indeed, lead to the back gardens of the site where gala was held. if you were correct, the parking lot for chauffeurs would be on the right side. 

minutes later, you find yourself ranting to todoroki, taking it from the whole beginning and recounting every, minute detail of the journey.

“-and then we kissed during our stealth mission which only made it worse because then i realised i was flipping in love with him!”

“only just then?” asks todoroki with a questioning look. 

“look, i had the hots for him in third year because of his growth spurt, i didn’t like him so don’t give me that look,” you justify, silencing him with a finger in his face. “anyways-”

“-is bakugou a good kisser?”

you press your lips together, unsure of how to answer without sounding ridiculous but really, your silence was the answer todoroki needed. he tilts his head to the side slightly, entertained by your sudden flustered behaviour before redirecting one hundred percent of his attention back your direction.

“find out yourself,” you finally quip. despite how delayed your comeback was, the half-and-half pro-hero still laughs. “so after that mission, bakugou’s been acting weird with me ever since. everything he’s been doing is just so unlike him. i find him staring at me from time to time and when i catch him, he doesn’t look away, just does that stupid, smug smirk of his! he’s been more handsy, and, this is the most confusing part.” 

“yesterday, i didn’t have an adequate outfit for tonight’s gala. i had something planned but it just wasn’t right and i was really down about it. well, bakugou walked in my office when i was trying it on-”

“-couldn’t you have done that at home?”

“shouto. come on. i was planning to go straight from work to the gala because the grind never stops, you know this. so i was trying it on and i was telling him that i didn’t like my outfit at all and then he kissed me on the back of my ear,” you explain, vividly using your hands to help your story. 

the way todoroki’s eyes widen a little makes you feel better that you have someone else also astounded by bakugou’s boldness. “he… kissed… your ear?”

“yes!”

“why your ear?”

“i don’t know, shouto!”

“but why did he kiss you?”

“i don’t know, shouto! that’s not something friends or coworkers do to one another.”

“right. i would never kiss your ear. or you.”

“i would never kiss you either, which confuses me so much as to why bakugou did that! and then he referred me to a personal stylist- who was amazing, i will absolutely be returning to her again- and when i showed up at the gala, he was just acting so… off!”

“like how he pulled you away from midoriya.”

“precisely! it got worse because when we arrived at the entrance, i was about to enter but then he stopped me by pulling my hand, which he then proceeded to kiss!” you exclaim animatedly, gesturing to the same hand. “then he asked me to be his date!”

“that’s odd. why not ask you in advance?”

“right?”

todoroki hums in contemplation for a second, furrowing his eyebrows as he thinks- a habit he has not rid of since u.a. “if i was going to be honest y/n, i was about to say my theory is that bakugou has a crush on you, but asking you to be his date tonight? it feels a little off to me.”

“why?”

“if he truly wanted you to accompany him to the gala, he would’ve asked beforehand. doing it tonight just feels a little… orchestrated, asking whilst you were all dressed up,” todoroki’s articulate words pierce you through the heart and you feel your chest deflate, understanding what he was saying. “i don’t want to assume anything of this because that is not in bakugou’s character, he’s never superficial about anything he does.”

you sigh, quietly muttering the next statement. “believe it or not you’re not the first person tonight telling me that bakugou has some ulterior motive with me.” 

your friend’s is taken aback, his hair jumping with his sudden movement. “who else?”

“some old, marketing guy from a support gear company that kept bothering bakugou at last year’s gala,” you huff, placing your chin on your hand as you fiddle with the bracelets adorning your wrist. “said something that really messed with my brain.”

“hm?”

now finding your nails a lot more interesting than your dual-quirk friend, you don’t think you can meet his eyes whilst repeating the embarrassing statement. 

“he said that since bakugou and midoriya have been rivals and competing against each other since they were young, bakugou was using me as a chance to one-up deku. especially because deku’s the hottest talk in the hero world right now because of that partnership. he thought that if i could stand and look pretty by bakugou’s side, it would boost his image and get him into the headlines,” you spit, sounding more aggressive with each word that leaves your mouth.

you want to punch a wall.

todoroki places a gentle hand on your shoulder, one that felt grounding and reassuring. kind.

“you’re more than just someone who can sit and look pretty,” he begins, “anyone who says otherwise is clearly stupid. you’re one of the top heroes in japan, simplifying your reputation to only benefit someone by being their date is offensive and incredibly ignorant.”

his assured words lifts your spirit a little, but there’s still that little bit of weight clasping at your ankles. “but what if bakugou doesn’t see it that way?” 

“then he’s an idiot.”

the laugh that escapes you makes your chest feel lighter; a remedy for the horrible emotions swirling in your gut. “you’re right. this is all just so frustrating,” you mutter into your palms. “i need to stop thinking about bakugou or i will obliterate him the next time i see him.”

todoroki huffs, entertained. “i don’t think you should hold any malice towards him. let the truth reveal itself, we’re both getting ahead of ourselves.”

“yeah,” you sigh before fishing for your phone. “please take photos of me, i look too good tonight to not post myself on instagram. i need a distraction from my wallowing.”

“as you wish.”

# FIVE ! - the kiss of confession. 

you did not take todoroki’s advice at all and instead, got ahead of yourself. the first day back to work since the gala, you began deliberately avoiding bakugou- as immature as that was.

it’s a task easier said than done because avoiding bakugou was really hard. like, really really hard. given that his office was literally right beside yours, it was hard to walk by his glass doors and pretend to not notice him in there, especially since he liked to weight lifts and walk around as he worked. you could probably draw bakugou’s build from heart with how many times you gawked at him as you passed by.

plus he’s the face of the wholeass agency, so. there’s that.

the only solution you fathomed was to pick up more patrols during work hours, leaving more often during the day to return exhausted and irritated at night whilst you dealt with office work. seeing your sour mood apparently was enough to turn bakugou- and everyone else, away. 

your assistant has booked you spa schedules for almost every weekend. multiple of them.

avoiding bakugou evolved from the root of two problems. the first one being the whole gala fiasco, the second one being that you genuinely don’t believe it’s good for your health if he kept acting as intimate as he had with you. however, the more you thought about it, you’re not even sure if he’d treat you the same way he did before the gala and you’re also not risking any chance of finding that out.

“you got another commission at downtown honei! join the cops in chasing down the assailant who claims to be ‘lava man’. police recommend to bring another hero,” a voice from your operator calls and you quickly reply with a ‘on it’. your first thought was ridiculing the villain name: ‘lava man’. wonder what his quirk was.

adjusting your hero gear as you walk out of your office, you run into the exact gorgeous face you’ve been avoiding. 

“y/n i need to- where are you going in such a hurry?” asks bakugou, scrunching his eyebrows upon noticing your haste. you continue walking past him and without thinking, he trails behind.

“commission. i’m going to get backup.”

“i can join-”

“-no, stay here. i’m calling kirishima on this one,” you say, sparing him a momentary glance to see a look of frustration appearing in his eyes. 

he looks like he’s bursting at the seams to say something, but the blond shoves all protests down and shouts out a ‘stay safe’ before you’re turning around the corner.

the commission is easy enough and you solved it before the clock could progress another hour. the hard part was that you kept receiving mission after mission, unable to catch a break to have some lunch or retreat to the agency when you had to keep reprimanding villains. seriously, why did they all unanimously pick today to be menaces to society?

your muscles were getting increasingly sore, your body was starting to feel the after effects of your quirk, and you were grumpy for how little time you got to rest. 

after reporting back your last commission for the day, you finally find some time to buy some food from your favourite ramen place. pathetically carrying the plastic bag all the way up to your office, you open the glass door with a grunt because of how much your body ached from one simple movement. you were going to be in even more pain tomorrow; maybe you should request a day off to see your physiotherapist. 

as you leant against the front of your desk to search for the contact of your trusted physiotherapist, you jump about 2 feet when the door to your office slams open, revealing a fuming bakugou.

blinking once, then twice in fear, you feel cornered.

“uh… can i help you?” comes your meek greeting.

“yeah you can fuckin’ help me!” he booms, crossing the floor to stand directly in front of you, face only a few inches away from yours. “mind telling me why you’ve been avoiding me ever since the gala? and why you didn’t respond to any of my texts since?”

you cringe at the mention of the texts. whilst you were complaining your heart out to todoroki, bakugou was asking where you went and why you didn’t tell him you were leaving. messed up move on your part, but it genuinely pained to even read his contact name, let alone send him a text to pretend like everything was okay.

now that he’s this close again, you realise just how much you’ve missed him.

your heart is doing laps again, and your arms suddenly itch with a desire to pull him close.

“don’t try to say something stupid like you haven’t been avoiding me, because you clearly have,” he scolds but the hurt in his eyes are very visible. it was time to just give him the truth, even if it still hurts you to think about.

with a sigh, you decide to surrender to your downfall through the form of a simple confession. 

“i like you.”

the tension in the room increases by tenfold. your lungs tighten from how suffocating his presence is, especially as he looms over you, allowing you no space to breathe.

then he does something incredibly unexpected: he kisses you. 

you feel your mind spinning and your heart picking up even more than you thought humanly possible. the way he curves himself around you is too much, the fire he ignites within your stomach, burning you from the inside out with his passion was too much, and the feeling of how desperately he was holding you against him was too much. he’s bleeding with love and need.

bakugou’s lips move against yours with a hint of urgency behind his actions, and you don’t have it in you to deny him. so, you fully give in to the unstoppable force of bakugou katsuki, allowing him to pick you up and seat you on your office desk.

somehow your hands end up tangled in his hair and his are roaming all over your body, unable to find purchase for even a millisecond as he commits learning you to memory.

you snap back to reality when a grunt of satisfaction slips past his mouth and into yours, causing you to abruptly jump back whilst simultaneously pushing him away. you miss his warmth already, grip steady on his shoulders to keep him away.

the look of hunger and yearning in bakugou’s eyes tells you that he’s not yet satisfied.

“hold on- stop- we need to discuss this-” you stammer before being cut off by the blond.

“-i have been waitin’ forever for this fucking moment. discussion over-”

“-no, bakugou-” you push his face away, even as he keeps inching forward, hands tugging your closer towards his toned body, “-katsuki.”

bakugou perks up at the mention of his given name, stopping his struggle completely. you only ever use it to capture his attention but he wishes that you would use it for more casual means rather than purposeful ones. it sounds so nice when you say it after all.

“i need a second to think,” you explain, rubbing your temples. 

“talk to me, pretty. i can only answer if you verbalise your thoughts.”

“so you genuinely like me? you’re not using me for, y’know, media rep and shit?”

the most flabbergasted, appalled, and astounded expression appears on bakugou’s face. he looks absolutely livid and you begin wondering why you ever assumed the things you did.

“the fuck?” comes his reply. “why the fuck would you think that? who the fuck made you think that?”

you feel small under his fiery gaze, unable to properly look him in the eye as you recount the conversation shared between you and the old, marketing representative of the support gear company. with each sentence bakugou’s scowl grows deeper.

one the story is over, you knew that you were in for a mouthful. in more ways than one. 

“that stinky, old geezer was why you were ignoring me? i thought i messed up or something, but this was because you actually listened to that extra? are you fuckin’ kidding me? i’ve been dyin’ because of you refused to even look at me and some asshole is the cause of that?” he asks. “i’m about to blow a bitch up-”

“-no, katsuki!”

would you look at that. he’s calm again.

“don’t do that. it’s my fault, i let him get to my head and suddenly some insecurities i didn’t even know i had started emerging. if it’s anyone that needs to apologise it’s me, i’m sorry for how i’ve been treating you after the gala, and for doubting you.”

“yeah you better be. don’t do this shit again,” the blond commands. “you really think that low of me that i’d use you to help my reputation?”

“i think it was moreso i thought really lowly of myself. to me, it didn’t make sense that you would ever be interested in me.” 

a beat passes. he flops himself against you again, letting you hold up majority of his weight. 

“you’re kiddin’, right? you’re a fuckin’ gem and i’ll kill anyone who won’t treat you like one because i just had the worst few days of my life from this bullshit,” he complains, burying himself into the juncture of your shoulder and your neck. 

the giggle of flattery escapes your lips before you can stop it, and you rub your hands soothingly along his spine before admitting a question that has plagued your mind ever since. “why’d you ask me to be your date at the gala and not beforehand?”

“i was nervous and chickened out every time i tried,” he confesses quietly, grumbling lowly into your skin. “when i saw you at the gala i swore i got a heart attack, and when that nerd almost swept you off your feet, i had to do something. i knew i’d lose you otherwise.”

“what, don’t want to lose to deku again?” you ask with a teasing tone. bakugou bites your skin. you yelp.

“watch your mouth.”

“you’ll be relieved to know that i don’t want anyone but you, katsuki.”

“ya sure?”

“i’ve been sure for a while.”

the blond laughs, murmuring a ‘you’re perfect. too good for me’ before connecting your lips again. you hum into him before muttering a ‘yeah i am’ against his mouth. it makes him smirk. 

when you part, you pat his shoulder as a sign of surrender. “i need to get to working on some files so if you don’t mind-”

as you try to shuffle off your table, bakugou stops you before your feet can even touch the ground. “are you kidding?” he challenges in an accusatory tone. “you’re not doing shit, you’ve been on commissions all day. have you even had a meal?”

“i just bought some ramen for myself,” you say whilst gesturing to the bag on your desk. 

he grumbles. “want me to warm it up?”

“no, it’s okay,” reaching around you to open the laptop sitting on your desk, bakugou’s quick to shut it close again.

“what part of ‘you’re not doing shit’ do you not understand? fuckin’ rest!”

life is a little surreal right now, especially with bakugou’s aggressively ambiguous way of nurturing people. then he grabs the noodles and rips opens the packaging, fishing for the chopsticks also provided before ripping that apart too. so shameless in everything he does, that’s a habit he’ll never lose, you suppose. 

you unknowingly smile when considering the prospect that bakugou’s shamelessness is something you have to deal with even more now.

a small cat fight erupts when you realise that the blond had full intentions of feeding you the ramen himself and your dignity refused to let him. he eventually coaxed you by saying he’ll take your commissions for the next three days and the soreness of your muscles found the deal a little too tempting. with a huff, you give in.

“ramen smells good,” he comments absentmindedly.

“it’s my favourite place. not too far away. we should go someday,” you say in between mouthfuls.

he scoffs in dismissal but the pink tint of his ears contrast his reluctant attitude. “it better not let me down.” 

you stop for a second, grabbing your phone and searching through your contacts again. “i need to book a session with my physiotherapist.” 

“why?”

“she gives the best massages and my body is so sore right now.”

“i think i can help with that.”

“really?”

“don’t underestimate me,” bakugou says, paired with a wink. you can’t help but assume there’s a not-so-innocent undertone to his intentions, especially with the way he smirks. “i could help you relax in more ways than one.”

goodness, were you in for a ride.

[soulgazingwithbucky]

First of all i LOOOOVEEE ur stories,

Can i ask a Bucky x Reader Fluff. (You can add some smut if you want to)

Where the reader has this stutter thats shes really insecure about and Bucky just adores it and that he comforts her when shes tearing up because she cant talk normally without a stutter.

Thank you girll xx

hi my love, thank you so much for your kind words!! and thanks even more for your patience - this is my first official request and i wanted to make sure i did right by you!!

pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

warnings: smut!!! minors DNI, oral (f receiving), writer's first time writing smut lmfao, Bucky's your ex (at first), reader has a stutter but writer does not so feedback is welcome

word count: 2k

“She’s where?”

Natasha bites into an apple. Her elbows rest against the granite countertop as she watches Bucky through her lashes. He’s staring at her incredulously, waiting for her to clarify. She bides her time, chewing and savoring the fruit. The lackadaisical way Nat sways on her heels ignites Bucky’s rage. It takes every ounce of willpower to not grab the apple and pitch it to the wall.

“On a date,” Nat says dismissively, rotating the apple in her hand, trying to find the next perfect bite. She waits patiently for whatever emotion is bubbling beyond the cold stare to reach the surface.

“She didn’t tell me that,” Bucky says bitterly.

She cocks an eyebrow.

“She’s supposed to tell her ex when she’s going out?”

Bucky huffs. He hates the title.

“Because we all live in the same building. Could be a safety thing,” he grumbles, though they both know he’s full of shit.

The elevator dings, drawing the two operatives’ attention. You step out, clutch held tightly in your hand.

“Tell her yourself then,” Nat tells Bucky, pushing herself off of the counter. She passes you, squeezing your forearm. “Talk later?”

You can only respond with a nod as you approach the kitchen, slamming your bag onto the countertop.

“Hi,” Bucky greets gingerly, unsure if you’re aware of his presence. You turn to him briefly, a scowl still adorning your face.

“H-Hi,” you respond before turning to glare at your fingers. The rings glint in the overhead lighting, an ornate reminder that you actually got dressed up for some asshole. You practically rip the jewelry off of you.

“Wanna tell me about it?” he says, watching the rings clatter onto the granite.

You look at him in disbelief. He was the last person you would want to tell about a failed date. But your discontentment is begging to pour out, bubbling inside you like magma in a volcano. You take a deep breath.

“I w-w-w-went on a–”

You feel your emotions impacting your speech, and you stop yourself. You take a deep breath, trying to regain your composure, and start again.

“I w-went on a d-d-d–FUCK!”

You grab the closest thing to you–a knife block set–and throw it against the wall. The impact echoes through the tower kitchen, sending blades flying in all directions. As the empty block hits the floor, you slide down against the side of the countertop. Angry tears are filling your eyes, but you stare unblinking, refusing to let them fall.

Bucky says nothing as he swiftly collects the mess you've made before moving beside you. He slides down onto the floor, his even gaze on you. Your knees are to your chest, and you have a handful of your dress gripped in your fist. Your breathing is the only sound in the room, heavy and uneven with the effort of keeping your tears inside.

Even completely silent, Bucky is still one of the most comforting people you have ever met. His stoic gaze and quiet stares can be interpreted as robotic, intimidating, unnerving; to you, it has always felt calming, unjudging, a serene haven in a world that was often too loud.

And he was definitely a much better presence than the asswipe you just spent the past couple hours with.

“I didn’t know you had a–” your date gestures at his mouth with his fork “–thing. You know, my cousin stuttered, like, her whole life. It was so fucking annoying.”

He chuckles, then continues, “Not you, though. But she went to therapy and, swear, hasn’t stuttered since. It’s crazy. But, like, you know, it’s cool for you.”

You shoot him a smile too sweet to be genuine.

“Thanks. M-Means a lot.”

“W-What if,” you tell Bucky, “I don’t want to get r-rid of it? What i-if I like it? DId he e-ever think about t-th-that?”

“I don’t think he did, love,” he tells you softly.

But you hang your head, your face obscured for a moment. When you look back up, resting your chin on your knees, your tears flow freely. Bucky wants nothing more than to pull you to his chest, to wrap his arms around you, to comfort you, but he can’t. Not anymore.

“I h-h-hate this fucking st-stutter, Bucky,” you admit through gritted teeth.

“Hey,” he says, as if he should be offended for you. “Don’t say that.” He presses his palms on the ground, pushing himself forward, planting himself in front of you.

“But I d-d-d–” You get caught repeating the sound, and you press your lips together, your nostrils flaring.

“B-But I d-do,” you complete scornfully. “I d-didn’t even want to g-go on this d-d-date. I kn-knew this would h-happen. I-I knew I would g-get judged. It always happens.”

Not with me, Bucky thinks. He can’t help himself now, and he reaches out, pressing his hands on the sides of your head. The gesture surprises you, and you look up at him with wide eyes.

“Every part of you is absolutely incredible, you know that?”

Under Bucky’s earnest gaze, you feel the heat flooding your face. He brushes away a piece of your hair before pulling away.

“You’re one of the most skilled agents to walk through this door,” he begins. You shake your head.

“No, really,” he insists, pointing his thumb behind him. “I’ll tell Steve right now.”

You shake your head again, this time with a laugh, as you wipe your tears with your fingers.

“But despite being an absolute force in the field, you’re still the kindest person I know.”

You huff in disbelief. You can’t help yourself:

“Yeah, k-kind enough to still be t-talking to my ex."

This time, it’s Bucky who hangs his head. His nonsensical babble of excuses comes back to him: You both seemed too busy. He wanted to work on himself. This was more of a break than a break-up, really, if you think about it. Oh, and don’t forget: it’s not you, it’s him.

Now is as good a time as ever to tell you the truth: “You were too good for me. You are too good for me.”

He earns another laugh from you, but this time it’s devoid of any mirth.

“Yeah. Okay, B-Bucky.”

“No, angel, I’m serious,” he says, shifting closer to you. You cock your head as he doubles down.

“R-Really?” you say dryly. “T-The new girl with t-the fucking s-sp-speech impediment is too good for Bucky B-Barnes.”

He scoots himself even closer to you, his legs now on either side of yours. Your arms are drooped across your knees, and the bottom part of your face is obscured behind your forearms. He drops his head to meet your eyes.

“Yes,” he confirms, “the new girl with a heart full of gold, talents that blew us out of the water, and a speech impediment is too good for this idiot.

“I realize it now, doll. And I can’t believe I was too fucking dense to see it before. You’re too good for me, and I won’t argue about that. But I fuckin’ let you go, instead of staying by your side, making myself better for you. I’m stupid, doll, so stupid, you mean the world to me–”

You swallow Bucky’s words with a kiss, your hands moving to caress his face. He practically melts under your touch, and you feel his body shift with your lips on his. He’s leaning, leaning, leaning, desperate to be as close to you as possible, but the countertop against your back is proving it to be an impossible feat. He pulls away for a second, smiling as you whine at the separation, and hooks his hands under your thighs, lifting you onto the granite. He chuckles at the way you yelp and wrap your hands around his neck, yet he wastes no time capturing your lips in his again.

Your hands move from his neck into his hair, giving his brunette locks a slight tug. He stifles a groan, his ears perking at a noise down the hallway. He brings your hands to his lips for a kiss before he steps away, listening intently.

“It’s t-twelve, Barnes,” you say. “S-Sam’s going to be c-c-coming out soon for his–”

“–midnight snack,” he finishes with a huff. He gathers your bag and your rings, offering a hand as you hop off of the counter. “C’mon, love. You must be tired, anyway.”

You wrap your hand around his arm as he leads you to the elevator. He presses the button to your floor.

“Everyone else says I don’t say a word,” he teases, “yet you won’t even let me finish a sentence.”

You let out an embarrassed chuckle, thinking of how you punctuated the middle of Bucky’s rant with a kiss.

“I-I just knew th-that you meant it, Bucky,” you say. “I-I know you.”

As you watch the floor numbers change above the elevator doors, Bucky keeps his half-lidded gaze on you.

“I know you do.”

In the comforts of your room, Bucky kneels in front of you to ease your shoes off of your feet. You release a relieved sigh. He steps behind you, and you feel his warm breath on your skin before he leaves slow kisses along your neck. He moves the strap of your dress before continuing his trail of kisses along your shoulder.

“B-Bucky…”

His fingers ghost over your other shoulder before gently slipping the other strap off. Your dress falls to the ground. You tilt your head back with a sigh as large hands run over your bare stomach and breasts. Your relaxed breaths turn into a sharp inhale as his fingers find your nipple, giving it a slight pinch.

“Let me take care of you, doll,” he mutters. You turn to face him, slotting your lips against his. He walks forward until you feel the bedframe behind your knees. You yelp, but his hands find your head and your back, lowering you until you feel the plush mattress underneath you. Bucky plants a kiss on your lips before moving to your neck and decolletage. His mouth takes it time on both of your breasts, swirling slow circles on your nipples, before kissing down your stomach.

Bucky murmurs a swear under his breath as he removes your underwear. He runs his thumb along your folds, nearly hypnotized by the arousal he now spreads to your clit. He listens to your soft whimpers as he draws agonizing circles.

He meant to take his time, but he can’t help himself. He missed you so damn much, and he’s more than eager to prove it. He moves his hand to his hardening cock, pumping as he licks a stripe along your folds.

Can’t waste a single drop.

His cock twitches in his hand at your gasp. You sound so needy, all for him. His mouth envelops your pearl, sucking and licking like he’ll never be satiated.

“Oh–f-fuck–Bu-Bucky.”

You lift your head to peer at Bucky, your hands moving to his hair. He releases you with a pop, meeting your eyes through the darkness.

“I’ve missed you, doll,” he murmurs, savoring your taste on his tongue.

“I m-missed–shit!”

Bucky has pushed a finger into you, curling and pressing against your g-spot. Your head falls back onto the mattress, your back arching as his mouth returns to your clit. He groans as your hands on his head push him closer. He adds another finger, quickening his pace. He feels you clenching around his fingers.

That’s it, doll.

He looks up at you, your head thrown back in pure pleasure, your breasts rising and falling with your erratic breaths.

“B-Buck, you’re–you’re gonna–”

A flurry of swears fill the air as you release. Bucky groans at the feeling of you coming around his fingers. Your fingers loosen around his locks, and he rests his head lazily on your thigh, pumping his fingers slowly as your orgasm subsides.

He brings his fingers to his mouth as he rises. He smiles as you watch him hazily.

He rests beside you, eyes closed, expecting you to nuzzle yourself into his chest like you always did. Instead, he opens an eye at the feeling of your fingers hooking into his waistband. His hands move to your hips as you shift on top of him.

“I’m n-not done with y-you, Barnes.”

[tinyboobsbignipples]

Hcs for Ellie dating someone with small boobs

N/A (Ignore if you want LMFAO): I think everyone is on board that Ellie is a boob girl, and I totally agree, but whenever I see a post about it, the writer never exactly clarifies what size they are giving the reader, but it is almost always obvious that it is targeted toward girls with a bigger chest. Some writers will even put something like ‘Ellie loves all sizes’ but will continue to only write details for bigger boobs. Which is totally fine. If big boobs are all you know how to write, then continue to do so. I still read them, and I enjoy doing so but sometimes it just feels a little invalidating..? I would also like to say that this isn't targeted at anyone, and this isn't meant to hate or call anyone out this is just something I've noticed as someone with a smaller chest.

Anyway, this is for the girls whose boobs don’t exactly drop or fall when they take their bra off.

WC: 900+

CW: Talks of NSFW at the bottom (separated from the rest of my hcs), I guess thats it?, established relationship.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Loves when you wear oversized shirts. Small boobs + oversized shirt = more room for Ellie's head to sneak her way into your shirt and listen to your heart beat. For the longest time, she would swear that this was the only way she could fall asleep but then summer came and it got too hot to do that anymore :( 

Got right back to it though when the weather started cooling down 

Ellie loves kissing the tops of your boobs when you wear a low cut shirt. If you don't wear low cut shirts often, she will give extra kisses in hopes that it will show how much she loves you and your body. If you wear them often, then you’ll be getting chest kisses just as much. 

You often tap her nose and say "Boop,” so one day when your nipples were poking through your shirt, she tapped one of them and said “Boop.” You both stared at each other in confusion until you broke and started giggling. You did the same thing to her because her nipples were also poking through her shirt

Loves hugging you. Because both of your guys boobs are small, you guys can get really really close to each other during hugs. Like nose touching close, every limb of your body is touching her, and if your noses weren't in the way, your guys would be able to give each other butterfly kisses. (When you flutter your eyelashes against someone else, in this case, ellies eyelashes.) 

Hugs every day, all day. She's so clingy, she needs to be touching you in some way or “she will die.” (her words) 

If you’re feeling really insecure about the size of your boobs, Ellie will try her best to comfort you. Shes a bit awkward and will often bring up how she has small boobs too and doesnt feel bad about them and sometimes that just makes you feel worse but it's the thought that counts. :’)

If you’re the type to wear tiny tops because your chest allows you to do so, Ellie would just have total heart eyes. She thinks you're so perfect and loves taking you out because she knows you’ll get all dressed up for her. 

Nsfw: 

On the topic of tiny tops (if you wear them), Ellie likes them because of easy access. It's so easy to just drag the fabric down or up, and bam, your chest is right there on display for her. 

The first time Ellie saw you without your top on, her pupils would just expand. She would kiss all over your boobs. Below, on top, right on, everywhere. She's so in love its embarrassing :')

On the rare occasion that you guys are away from each other, she’ll ask for a picture because “she needs to see them,” and you’ll make a joke something along the lines of ‘there's nothing to see’ and she will get so pouty because she's so needy, and you think this is an appropriate time to make jokes. 

You're sitting on Ellie's lap and riding her strap, you guys are face to face. If Ellie's hands are bigger than your chest, then I would imagine she would have her hands on your upper back or your side, right next to where your boobs are, because she likes to watch how they bounce. Even if it's not a lot, she still gets mesmerized. 

Ellie's phone background is a photo of you, holding the camera completely topless with Ellie behind you. Her head rests on your shoulder, and each of her hands is covering your boobs, acting like a bra. 

If you don't wear bras: Before you and Ellie were dating and you guys were just friends, she would try so hard not to stare. She would try focus so so hard on something else, but it was so difficult for her to look away when your nipples were just right there. Later, when she got home, she would touch herself because she practically already knew what your boobs looked like, and Ellie has a very active imagination.

Loves playing with your nipples. Before, during, after sex loves playing with them and loves hearing the little reactions you give her

Pinches your nipples during sex and can get pretty rough with it too 

After sex, when you two are just lying in bed, she will lay her head on your shoulder, put her palm over one of your boobs and just keep it there

Ellie loves sucking on your chest and your nipples. When it leaves a mark its just an added bonus.

She thinks its so hot when its just the two of you home alone and you're walking around in just a tank top proudly showing off the hickeys she gave you last night (and this morning)

[binniebakery]

🇦​​🇧​​🇴​​🇻​​🇪​ ​🇹​​🇭​​🇪​ ​🇨​​🇭​​🇮​​🇳​​🇪​​🇸​​🇪​ ​🇷​​🇪​​🇸​​🇹​​🇦​​🇺​​🇷​​🇦​​🇳​​🇹​🥡

Non Idol AU Ex!Yeonjun x Gn!Reader, Angst ♡Warnings: no happy ending, not proofread, cursing, I'm almost 90% this is gender neutral but if there is a mistake please let me know! ♡A/N: im so sorry this took forever to come out gfdgjhksd but its here! since this is my first time writing angst I'm not sure how i feel about this one but.. that's me with all my yeonjun fics... lmfao enjoy

𝗡𝗼𝘄 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴: "Above the Chinese Restaurant" By Laufey 𝗡𝗼𝘄 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴: "Don't Let Me Go" By Cigarettes After Sex

0:09 ━●────────── 3:43 ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷

——-˖⁺. ༶ ❤︎ ⋆˙⊹ 𐦍 ˖⁺. ༶ ❤︎ ⋆˙⊹——-

There you lay in the quiet solitude of your dimly lit room. The only source of light being the soft glow of your bedside lamp and a candle that smelled of sandalwood and something oddly familiar.

The outside world remained silent, a contrast to the buzzing thoughts that swarmed your mind. Your new apartment was quiet, lonely, and grey. It was nights like these that had you reminiscing those warm summer days you spent in the city.

Glancing over at the nearest window, you find yourself in a moment of deja vu. You’ve been here before– in this position looking outside as you lay in bed.

Except this time you weren’t waiting for anyone, it was just you and the sound of your ticking clock as the arms slowly moved to the next hour.

Time always seems to go by quicker than you can notice.

Your mind wanders back through the corridors of your memories as you clutch the soft fabric of your comforter. You let out a deep sigh as you find yourself reliving those memories again.

It’s cozy, you have a wonderful view of the greenery outside, it’s spacious, it’s a safe neighborhood, and your apartment is brand new. All of this and you would think ‘how could anyone ask for more?’

You realize it all fails in comparison to those distant memories. It's quite foggy really, you can’t really remember them too well leaving you pondering if so much time had really slipped away from you.

Just like he did

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅⋆｡°

July 8th, Summer.

You and Yeonjun were simply young and dumb. At least that's what your parents would always say. Two ambitious individuals who found each other at a time when it seemed like the world was against you both.

Your families were against you moving into the city, but you were both young and desperate to start a new life together. It took weeks of couch surfing but despite the financial issues, you both managed to find that small apartment right above that old, run-down Chinese restaurant.

That summer the whole neighborhood spoke of the new young couple moving in, though you two paid no mind. Yeonjun enjoyed the attention and you were willing to endure anything as long as nobody spoke ill of either of you.

You remember Yeonjun’s small car lugging your belongings up the hill, and the minute you two arrive he’s opening the passenger door and pulling you into a hug.

He’s spinning you around and you’ve never felt happier. The summer heat burned down and your skin had tanned an awful lot, causing you to feel insecure about the obscure tan lines you modeled.

Of course, Yeonjun complimented you to the moon and back, kissing every bit of skin while his own was left sunburned. He always made you feel special no matter the occasion.

This moment was no less different, that bright, toothy grin of his as he clumsily plops down to lay with you on your shared futon.

“Got a gig next week, gonna earn so much too, I’ll buy you dinner every day for the next month!” Your boyfriend exclaims with his arms in the air.

You laugh at his expressive antics, leaning towards him to pull him in for a tight embrace.

“Don’t worry about that jjunie, I don’t need fancy dinners from you.”

“But I wanna,” he pouts “I gotta do something to make up for you working so hard!”

“Alright but nothing too expensive, we should be saving up..” You raise an eyebrow as Yeonjun makes himself comfortable laying his head in your lap.

“Mm, we’ll see” he chuckles and despite him burying his face into your thighs you can see the way his grin grows ever-so wider.

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅⋆｡°

While Yeonjun chased his dream of being the biggest rockstar the world had ever known, you worked as a dishwasher just downstairs and occasionally picked up any odd jobs you could find when you had the time.

You didn’t mind being the breadwinner– after all, you were content just being by your lover's side.

Yeonjun would come home in the early hours of the morning, returning from his latest gig that his small band managed to grab.

He’d quietly push open the door to your apartment, he'd set his guitar down with care on the floor and slip off his boots as silently as he could manage, mindful not to disturb your sleep after a long day of work.

He was always a gentleman, slipping beneath the covers beside you and gently pressing a tender kiss to your forehead as a silent apology for the missed "goodnight" texts he always promised to send but always ended up being too busy with his performances.

Your life with him wasn’t perfect, but regardless you had everything you could ever need.

It didn’t matter that the water always ran cold during the winter, the lack of heat or cool air circulation, the thin walls and loud neighbors, the constant sound of sirens running through the streets at night, or even the unstoppable growing mold in the corner of your bathroom.

You two were happy regardless of the trials this life had brought you.

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅⋆｡°

September 30th, Fall

You’re clutching that same old soft comforter, except this time echoes of soft laughter and plates clinking could be heard bouncing off the thin walls of your humble apartment.

Yeonjun lights the candle he had just bought, the scent of sandalwood filling the air as he finds his way to you.

“If you listen closely you can hear Mr. Wang snoring” Yeonjun whispers as he snuggles closer to your shaking form in an attempt to warm you both.

You toss another dumpling into your mouth and grin.

“Sometimes I wish that was all we heard at night. I don’t know how much longer I can stand his bed creaking on Fridays..” You snicker and that was all it took for your boyfriend to burst into a fit of giggles.

“Shhh! My love please!” You whisper loudly as you lean over your shared futon to cover his mouth.

Yeonjun holds back tears as he attempts to regain composure. You grab a dumpling from your plate and shove it into his mouth.

Your boyfriend happily munches as you sigh, a wide smile on your face despite wanting to be annoyed. “You think the restaurant will give us more if I head back down?” He looks down at his empty plate, stomach rumbling and his eyes look back at you. His face resembled a child getting caught doing something they weren’t supposed to, guilty look on his face.

You find yourself giggling at how cute he looks, hand reaching to gently caress his cheek. Yeonjun smiles and lets the food in his mouth peek out slightly.

“Aw jjunie thats gross!” You laugh, pushing him away.

Yeonjun laughs as well, cheekbones popping out in all their glory from the way his smile extends impossibly more and you feel yourself falling even more impossibly in love.

That ends up being how the both of you spend the rest of your night, attempting to remain silent so as not to get another noise complaint. Sharing jokes and silent tickle fights, the perfect distraction against the autumn weather.

If only your nights stayed like this forever.

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅⋆｡°

February 22nd or 23rd? You could never really remember the date.

Despite winter soon making it’s leave, you stay stuck inside the restaurant building with Yeonjun as the winter storm still roars on outside.

“Jjunie! I’m home!” You chirp as you open the door to your apartment.

Yeonjun looks up from his phone, laying on the worn couch you had both found on someone’s lawn with a sign that said ‘please take’. Despite your sour look Yeonjun somehow managed to convince you both to take it “looks like it’s still in good condition to me” he awkwardly smiled as he wiped off the remaining dust. 

You shake your head smiling at the memory.

“Hey, you. How was work?” He smiles and pats the empty spot next to him for you to sit.

“Same old, but it wasn’t that busy today. I even managed to take a nap in the freezer before Mr Wang noticed me.” You grinned.

Yeonjun lets out a chuckle and you crawl into his lap, resting your head on his shoulder.

He opens the blanket he was currently wrapped in and invites you in to join him in his little burrito.

You bury your face into his neck, inhaling that familiar scent you grew to love. Yeonjun places a hand on your back and rubs small circles as he plants a kiss on your hairline.

“Hey, I know that you’ve been out a lot. You know– busy with band stuff, but do you think you could maybe get a small side gig to help us out?” You looked at him with a nervous smile.

You knew Yeonjun took his band career seriously. He did everything he could to help, taking any small gig he and his bandmates could find. But most of the time it just felt like it wasn’t enough to pay the bills.

“Baby… we talked about this before.. You know I–” 

Before Yeonjun can finish his response, your conversation gets interrupted.

Creak

“What the–”

“Is that the roof?” Yeonjun squints his eyes as he looks at the wooden planks above him. You both sit in silence staring upwards, waiting for the odd sound to play again.

Nothing.

“Huh..” You lift yourself off your boyfriend and stand in the middle of your tiny living room, eyes still concentrated on trying to figure out where the sound was coming from.

..Creak…

“Ah shit–! Y/n look out!” Yeonjun jumps off the couch and grabs your wrist, pulling you towards him as part of your roof collapses right on top of the spot you were standing on. A fresh blanket of snow pouring in.

“Holy fuck, fuck fuck fuck–”

“Y/n are you okay?! Did you get hurt?!” His hands grab your face and his eyes are scanning for any injuries.

“I- I’m fine but our roof just fucking caved in!??! Shit, I could have been crushed!” Your jaw was practically dropped at the situation.

Yeonjun pulls away and walks towards the pile of wood and snow to assess the damage.

And as if right on cue, another fresh blanket of snow falls right on top of him. “AH!” Yeonjun yells, shaking off the remaining snow sitting on his head.

“Stupid fucking roof! I hate this damn apartment, not only do we not have any heat but we don’t even have a roof!”

“Pffft–!”

Yeonjun looks over and sees your face almost red, doubled over as you tried your best to keep in your laughter and he can’t help but feel his anger dissipate at the sight.

He hadn’t seen you laugh or smile like this in a while.

“You–! you look so stupid right now– I’m sorry!” You breathe out, falling on the couch as you let out a heavy laugh.

Your boyfriend beams, seeing you like this was better than any blanket or heater. His heart skips as you pull him in to lightly dust off the remaining snow.

So what if it took half of your savings jar and Yeonjun sacrificing almost a whole night of sleep to fix the roof? Every penny and splinter was worth seeing that priceless smile of yours.

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅⋆｡°

April 3rd, Spring. After two weeks of nonstop work, you finally had a day off the same day Yeonjun was home for the day.

You took the opportunity to splurge and eat in. You put on your favorite movie as you folded both of your laundry, Yeonjun making comments every now and then, pausing to get up and check on the stew you were making.

You found yourself wishing your days were like this more often. You knew he was busy and you respected that he wanted to chase his dreams, and who were you to get in the way of that?

Unbeknownst to you, Yeonjun had been silent the last few minutes.

Suddenly, you feel his figure scoot behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “One day I’m gonna make enough money for us to get out of this dump.” He mumbles into your neck.

“Huh?” You looked up from the pile of clothing that you were attending to.

“You heard me, I’m gonna make it big. The day that I do, I’m gonna buy you brand new clothes, a cute dog, we’re gonna live in a mansion, and then get married.”

Your face flushes and you smile. This was the first time Yeonjun had ever mentioned marriage to you.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, gonna be the biggest star this world will ever know. My face is gonna be plastered on every billboard. Then, we’ll have kids.. and then when I’m too old to perform, we’re gonna be so rich you’ll never have to work another day in your life” he grins.

“Feeling a little ambitious are we?” You giggle, raising an arm to pat his head. His hair felt soft, it had been so long since you ran your fingers through it. You find yourself closing your eyes as you begin to imagine your ideal future.

“Say whatever you want. It’s gonna happen!” Yeonjun raises a fist in the air, as if giving a speech to a crowd and you feel as if you couldn’t have been more in love with him in that moment.

One day, he’s gonna be in front of a real crowd, the largest one he’s ever seen, and you swear you’ll be front row cheering him on.

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅⋆｡°

May 16th, Spring.

You throw his bag down in frustration. “So this entire fucking time you were just going out and having fun? Drinking with your bandmates while I’m here working my ass off trying to keep a roof over our heads?!”

Yeonjun sighs and grits his teeth.

“No. I’m not just going out and having fun. Yes, I admit! Sometimes we’re out of luck and Soobin can’t get us a fucking gig. We go to a place and have a few drinks to destress, but I promise you I am trying my hardest! I do everything I can to get a shitty gig, I hang out with other douchebag bands so we can get connections y/n! Con-nec-tions! You ever fucking heard of that?!”

Another argument, the 4th night in a row.

This time you were cleaning around the apartment, finding Yeonjun’s bag as he took his shower before heading out for the evening to meet with his bandmates. ‘A huge meeting talking about an upcoming event they’re going to perform at’ he claimed.

You open his bag, knowing that he’d appreciate you cleaning up the trash he had inside. He trusted that you wouldn’t toss any of his half-written lyrics or important documents anyway.

That’s when you see it, three– no four– crumble receipts inside the inner pocket. You unscramble them to see they’re all charges from bars. Not just the same one, but multiple, containing only large orders of alcoholic drinks with the occasional snack to go along.

Anger consumes you before you think rationally, and as Yeonjun walks out of the shower with just a towel around his waist shaking his wet black hair, you shove the receipts in his face.

After minutes of back and forth, the tension grows immensely thicker. And before you both even notice, it all turns into a yelling match. 

He explains that it’s due to him not being able to find proper gigs as of recently, and how drinking will destress him, going off on a rant about how it’s normal in the industry to drink with managers and other bands to get a good rep. “Do you even fucking care about us!? We live in a dump! I had to call someone to fix our dishwasher three times last month! What if I get fired or laid off? We’re just gonna live on the fucking streets?! Be realistic Yeonjun! Be fucking realistic!”

“Maybe the issue is you don’t care y/n.. You just don’t understand that I’m serious! I’m taking this shit all seriously! I’m sorry I can’t find a proper job right now, but I need just more time.. And if you can’t respect my dream then honestly.. Maybe I should just fucking go right now for good.”

You couldn’t even respond. The tears in your eyes began to drip down and Yeonjun could only watch as your eyebrows furrow more, face scrunching up in an attempt to hide the frustration you were feeling.

He knew you hated crying, especially in front of him.

Had your eye bags always been so deep?

Yeonjun’s lips part and you hear his breath hitch the second it all starts crashing down on him. 

He stares at how disheveled your hair is. The way your skin looked so pale and almost blue under the dim light of the moon from your opened blinds. He remembers the way he used to kiss up your sunkissed arm the first few months you both moved into your tiny apartment. Letting the sun shine through the windows as you both danced slowly to whatever bossanova song played through your vintage radio.

Those first few months of summer were golden. They were warm like your skin on his when he woke up in the morning to you with his arms wrapped around your waist. Now your skin looked cold, dull, and you looked stretched thin.

How could he have just noticed all this? He was living with you the whole time.

In reality, he stopped being present a long time ago.

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅⋆｡°

The following days Yeonjun was nowhere to be seen.

You cried every day, constantly looking over to the door to see if he would just waltz in, big grin as he held a golden contract to a label over your head. You glanced over at the couch often, expecting your lover to be sitting as usual on his phone or hunched over writing whatever lyrics he could muster.

You called and texted but no response was ever given. Even if you had a car, not that walking would stop you, you had no idea of his whereabouts. Where would you even begin to look?

Then finally at the end of the week, Yeonjun returns home.

You weren’t there when he arrived, you still had to work despite the fact that things were rough. So when you return that night, all that’s left is your stuff and a note.

To my dearest y/n, Sorry for everything. I hope you understand that I need to do things my way right now. This is stupid but I'm sure you can imagine where this is going. Maybe in the future we’ll find each other again, but as of right now, I have to leave. If you need me you have my number,  See you around baby -Yeonjun

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅⋆｡°

Shortly after, you find yourself moving out of that old apartment. You never texted or called Yeonjun, and he never did so to you either.

As time goes by and the seasons pass, you can’t help but wonder where he ended up.

Did he continue to seek that dream he always wanted?

Maybe being with you was his biggest dream all along,

He just didn’t know it then.

Deep down Yeonjun wished he could have shown his appreciation for you more. How much he wished to give you a better life, to be a better boyfriend. How much he wished that on those nights when he’d arrive late in the morning hours, you’d wake up to see him giving you those gentle kisses, or how he’d double check to make sure the blanket was properly covering your sleeping figure.

Oh, how Yeonjun would never know about those faded photographs you still have saved from your old polaroid camera. Both of you with wide smiles as you sat in the pile of snow in the middle of your living room. You often found yourself wishing you could go back. Go back to when things were simpler, go back to that summer you moved in that tiny apartment.

As these nights go on, so does time. Therefore the tears that you find yourself wiping away eventually dry, and you let these memories go with a sigh. They carry themselves away along with the gentle breeze that whispers through your open window. And as that sandalwood candle’s wick flickers out, you realize so does the love you once held for him.

[yinyuedijun]

hihi mao!! i am slinking into your inbox to ask how tokyo vice suo likes to spoil you.... is he a grand gestures kind of man or does he keep it more lowkey and subtle when he's feeling extra sappy? how do you know when he's feeling extra in-his-feelings about you? uwu

HI BITTI !!!! reading this ask should not have made me kick my feet and giggle, but it totally did 😔 I shall answer for hostess reader & suo because when I think about myself dating tokyo vice suo I feel like I'll combust AGLDHDKDJ

I think tokyo vice suo likes to spoil you 24/7 in very grand ways as a secondhand trauma response to your previous financial insecurity ♥️ but when he's extra in-his-feelings I do think he is very lowkey about it. he mostly goes out of his way to spend time with you because he knows you have abandonment issues enjoy that a lot. I think he particularly likes baking for you because it's something he enjoys that he never gets to do anymore, and it also makes him feel like you two are a normal married couple :')

funnily enough, in the original version of the fic, there was a scene where you visit suo in his office (to yell at him) after he's been away for a long time (killing people). he's missed you a lot and wants to make it up to you, so he starts asking what dessert you'd like to eat and says he'll take tomorrow off and spend it baking with you. bro fully pulls out a paper notebook and pencil and starts writing up a grocery list for shopping in the morning. in the meantime, his buddies are sitting around doing meth (suo does not partake due to his strict diet) and his hands are still kinda bloody from the hit so his grocery list ends up stained with it. it was too absurd of a scene so I changed it LMFAO but that's basically what suo does when he really wants to make you feel loved: takes a vacation from killing people and becomes your househusband 😭

[ggyutarist]

A Mask, Bedecked in White Crystals ✧˖°.

(Halloween Special!)

💫: Beomgyu x GN Reader

Content: Masquerade ball and you dance with Beomgyu yahay!! Strangers to ??? to enemies.

‼️: Use of knife (but no one is stabbed). Slight cursing.

WC: 2.1k (oh my god i yapped.)

A/N: hehe short (not short) halloween special!! all i ever write about is beomgyu lmfao sorry. this is lowkey cliche and lame but like…who cares..ykyk. Its fine. Idk if this counts as halloween lols. Not sure if I should tag it as fluff or angst. Well its not fluff so angst ig?? But its not rlly sad. I think?… idk you guys give the verdict. not proofread sorry😞 (bru gotta put this below here bc its too long and yall wont see the actual summary help)

The annual All Hallows’s Eve Ball has arrived once again. Hosted on the 31st of October, the lavish and fancy would be invited to come in the most extravagant gowns and suits. They would be encouraged as well to adorn their faces with masks that were dipped in saturated colors.

Too saturated, you thought. You managed to bag yourself an invite, not that it was difficult. You were always invited every year. It’s just this year, you have to attend. Let’s say…there’s a few matters that needs to be addressed. 

Though, back to the topic at hand, how do these overly bright colors not hurt anyone’s eyes? Some of them will be far too egoistic and come in the most obnoxiously fancy dresses you’ve ever seen. They act as if they’re attention-seeking harlots who constantly need eyes at them or else they’ll die. You tsk at the behavior of some people but it is what it is, unfortunately. The world was doomed from the very start so might as well get rid of those who make it worse.

Twisting the glass in your hand, you bring it up to your face to watch the drink whirl around. Well, it was certainly a better taste than last year. A bit more sweeter side but still leaving a strong taste on your tongue. Despite all this, you yawn due to your lack of interest in this ball. It’s the same thing every year, honestly. No wonder why people usually bring a plus one. The inexorable desire of humans for connections with others, you sigh at it. Let’s be real here. They’re just setting themselves up for a heartbreak. Let it be a heartbreak from the betrayal of a romantic interest—or fallouts from friendships.

You gave up on those long, long ago. Why would you or anyone for the matter, set themselves up for a relationship that’s bound to fail? That’s just blatantly stupid. You wouldn’t blame them if it were their first time, of course. How would they foresee that? A second time would be understandable because we all give second chances in life. A third is questionable but still tame. Maybe they’re just too desperate for that person. A fourth and beyond though…now that’s just wrong. They must be let go of. Before long, they’ll just do more harm than good.

But maybe, in this world where trust is lost easily, there are just some who turns out to be overly desperate. Perhaps, they lost everything to the point that this certain someone is their only reason left to live.  You made sure to never stoop down that low. You learned to live for no one else but yourself. Looking around, guess not all learns that. It was difficult, yes, considering you valued others’ worth more than your own but this world is just shit, okay? It’s just really that bad that you lost all care for the rest of them. This world is so, so big but others just make it seem so small and suffocating. It’s like they’re stealing all the air for themselves and leaving the rest to collect dust. 

Who knows? It could be the reason you ended up with a job like this. To rid this world of mistakes and burdens. No, not those who feel like a mistake and burden. We’re all insecure at some point in life, it’s okay. The only ones you shall discard of would be those who proved themselves as a hindrance to the bettering of this earth. Are you evil for this? Perhaps, depending on the person asked. If you were to answer this…it’s simple. You are merely a human getting rid of evil counterparts. 

The line between good and bad may seem to have blurred but it’s alright. Whatever brings the saving of this world, you will do. Even if it throws a few morals out the window. I mean, what’s the bad thing here? Disposing of, mind you, evil people? Without them, this place we live on will be so much better. What’s the reason to keep them? They’ll only make everyone’s lives miserable. But of course, not all sees through that. That’s why you’re here. You will so graciously lend your services and discard of them. Throw them to the fires of hell and make them repent for their sins.

You’re not Satan on earth, no. You only serve as the bridge between earth and hell. You guide these low-lives and then let the demon decide of their fate down there.

The sudden music change brings you back to this earth that you dread so much, snapping you out of your thoughts. You sigh, looks like everyone’s going for a dance. You can’t be bothered so you resort to staring down at your drink again, hidden away in some corner. Your mask slips off the bridge of your nose, prompting you to push it back up again. Once you do so, you lift up your head to find someone approaching you. Okay…that’s bad. You didn’t want to attract any form of attention on you so why is this guy going here??

He stops a few feet away from you and gracefully bows a 90 degrees. While keeping still, he holds out his hand, eyes peeking out of his masked face to yours as a silent invitation. You contemplate. Well, this is certainly random…but why the fuck not? He seems nice. Did a bow, left space between you two, and he’s pretty. Yes, there’s a mask but shhh. It’s quite obvious he’s pretty under that…thing that’s covering his face. Not like this was against the rules for you. All you had to do was do the job properly. This won’t be an inconvenience, right?

You press your fingertips against his own before sliding your hand down to his palm. He wraps his fingers around your hand and pulls you close. You take note of how warm his hand seems to be. It could just be you though. Been a while since you’ve done this so your skin could just be burning up from the close proximity. Right?…

You come back, once again, to earth as you feel your hand being lifted up to the air. You turn your head towards him and sees him give you a thin-lipped smile with whisker dimples.

Cute…

You’re seriously not falling for a stranger right now, are you? You mentally shake your head and prop your other hand on his shoulder, likewise his hand found itself on your waist. He guides you both to join the rest on the dance floor, full of dresses twirling and shoes clacking against the polished floor. 

And so…you danced. Miraculously, you haven’t stepped on each other’s shoes yet or rather you on his. He seemed experienced, decently enough that is. You managed to follow his footwork to the beat of the notes, spinning around at just the perfect time. He stretched out his arm before pulling you back to him again, trapping you both in a constant spin.

While the world was nothing more than a motion blurred, he remained the center of your vision. It’s only been a good amount of minutes, so why does it feel like you knew him since forever? The way the hands feel familiar, the way you somehow recognize his smile…why? You seem to can’t wrap your head around it. Nevertheless, you dance. The dance feels so heavy now that you get some sort of deja vu around this person. What could it possibly be? What—

You feel an elbow bump into you. Turns out you two were too absorbed in this dance that you fell behind the rhythm of the others. You watch him bow his head quickly, muttering a sorry to the other pair before turning his head to whisk you away.

It could be you. It could really be you but you just can’t seem to miss the mole that lies on his cheek. There’s no way. There’s just simply no way it’s him. You glance up to his eyes, ones that still looking away to find you both a space on this crowded dance floor. His lashes, it can’t be missed. They’re considerably longer than most people. So…could it be him?

You grip his hand tighter and start leading the dance yourself. Just trying to see something, you keep that repeating in your mind. You start taking the dance a bit too seriously, making him amused at the contortion of your face to focus. A giggle emits from his lips and your heart drops. Full on drops to the pit of your stomach. That giggle is too recognizable. You quickly look for a secluded place and led him there. Obviously, he’s extremely confused like haha…why are we going behind a random pillar at the side of the ballroom?

Each step broke a piece of your heart. How? How could’ve you fallen for him again? Is this not the same person who continuously broke your damned heart? Even as a stranger, you still managed to somehow keep a memory of him with you. Despite him leaving, you still held desperately onto that red thread that connects you and him. What you only realized far too late was that…yours was tied to your pinky in a pretty bow. While him? He held onto the other end with a loose grip. Pfft, he only needed you for his own selfish reasons.

You scoffed. You scoffed at your own stupidity. Maybe, perhaps…you weren’t as different as any other. In this world, we are all humans who are doomed to have this trivial shit called feelings. The desperation, at this point, is inevitable. The longing, as much as you hate to admit it, is rooted deep into your heart. You can’t dig it out as much as you want to. The only best thing you could do is keep piling things on it till it’s out of sight. Out of sight, out of mind. Just pray…it won’t get unearthed somehow.

Unfortunately for you, that’s what happened today. All your memories with this…bastard…got unearthed when it’s meant to be buried deep into your soul. It’s heavy to carry but whatever gets it out of the way. 

You still liked him. You still liked him.

Tears threaten to spill out of your eyes but you stop it. You cried too many times over him to the point you learned how to dry it without excessive blinking. Never again shall you show such a weak and pitiful side of yourself. It only brings hurt than comfort. A place filled with numbness…is better than a place filled with hurt and no one to provide you comfort.

You pulled him in behind the pillar along with you. All sense of love and genuine contentment from the dance are gone. No, you will not let him give you empty promises of happiness again. So to avoid that, you turn him around forcefully and shove him up against the pillar, eliciting a pained groan from him. 

He opens his mouth to retort but before that even happens…

You slowly bring out something sharp, something meticulously cleaned just for this situation that is unfolding before you. You slide the spine of the knife against his back, not sharp enough to cut skin but definitely enough to create goosebumps. You giggle at the tensing of his body and breath hitching, making you all the more tempted to slide the sharp object down his spine.

To the floor, the shadow of you two may seem like you’re still absorbed in the dance you’re sharing with him. A strange yet familiar feeling blossoming in your chest to which the dance attempted to pour out. But to the wall, the shadow consists of you trapping him with no way out with a weapon against his back. One wrong move from him and the said weapon will take his precious life. You’re certain he wouldn’t want that but just to be sure…

You lean in and whisper a moniker that maybe not all who attended this ball know. Maybe he wanted to be known by a less common appellation but that wouldn’t work on you.

“You and your cowardice. Going after a fake name still?”

You’re met with an unnerving silence. Though, you digress. This continued silence just proves all the more that you found him. You drag the knife up his back painstakingly slow. Once it reaches the back of his head where the strings lie, you slash it in one fell swoop. A mask, bedecked in white crystals, falls to the ground with a thud. That mask no longer belongs to him; just like his dignity.

“You know you’re done for once you see me, Choi Beomgyu.”

A/N: happy halloween!!😸😸 (we’ll ignore the fact that idk what i was writing). this one sucked so badly but its aight. consider it a cliffhanger so…potential part 2…if you guys want.

rushed bc gotta post on actual halloween😔

[muikitoo]

hey so how do you think the rottmnt boys would deal with having a s/o looks very happy to see them, who hugs and kisses them and says “hi handsome” as a greeting and then they quickly slide away from their boyfriend side before the boys can even react to what just happened every single time? How do they first react to such a thing? And what about when they are used to it and see it coming every time s/o is coming over?

Them with an affectionate s/o

Warnings

None, pure fluff

+ this request from the same person

"Oh forgot to add. With the greetings request, I would like it so this s/o is a sneak attack loving greeting type, but then after they slide away they don’t initiate affection for rest of the day. like they get the affection all out of their system with the greeting, kind of don’t have energy for more and the boys have to initiate for the rest of the day, s/o will happily reciprocate though?"

A/N:

Im sorry this took so long!! Ive been awfully busy lately. But this was super fun to write<3

Donnie

- Hes super surprised (and got scared shitless).

- Please warn him next time you sneak attack him with affection, this boy almost went into cardiac arrest 😭

- "Sweet Galileo, Y/N! Please warn me next time, my soul almost left my shell for a moment."

- He doesnt rlly like it at first but He'll let it slide from time to time.

- After some time, he'll get used to it.

- He doesnt mind you calling him "handsome"

- actually it boosts his ego a lot, he likes it more than he'll ever admit.

-He gets a bit confused when you suddenly slide away and immediately notices that you dont show affection for the rest of the day

-tries not to put it into much thought though.

- Eventually he does ask you and understands if u dont have energy for more after the sneak attacks.

- Since he doesnt really initiate affection, when he eventually does, s/o would most likely reciprocate. If not, he'll take note of that and make sure youre 100% comfortable next time

Leo

- He does not mind the sneak attacks

- He gets slightly shocked for a moment since he didnt expect it, but it quickly washes away and he reciprocates your affection.

- He gives u affectionate sneak attacks too!!

- Absolutely LOVESS when you call him "handsome" or when you call him anything atp, you could call him a dumbass and he'll be head over heels for you.

- it boosts his ego so so muchh, he literally will NOT stop teasing you

- "Aww you seriously cant get your hands off of me can you?" *You literally slap him lmfao"

- believe me, you wont be left alone cuz he'll act like a baby. And if u dont pay attention to him he'll start whining and bothering u until you do.

- like Donnie, he gets confused when you just randomly slide away afterwards

- He probably doesnt notice how you dont show affection after greeting him, since hes most likely always close to you.

- if someone points it out though, he'll realise it and ask you about it. (Hes honestly a bit insecure and scared in case hes annoying you or something)

- if you reassure him its just cause you dont have enough energy, he'll feel a lot better.

- But either way he loves giving u any kind of affection, so you better reciprocate or he'll pout and whine like a child who couldnt get the toy they wanted.

Mikey

- He loves your greetings, they make him feel so bubbly inside.

- He most likely greets you that way too.

- ADORES when you call him handsome, he literally melts. Will call you pretty/handsome back. (or whatever you prefer)

- "*literally melting into a puddle* you think im cute? Aww well, i think youre the prettiest person ive ever layed my eyes on."

- After the first three he does notice how you slide away and dont show affection for a while.

- Immediately asks you about it before you manage to slide away.

- He doesnt mind, but that wont stop him from giving YOU sneak attacks.

- Even if hes the one giving affection, he doesn't mind at all. He just loves being near you at all times.

- LOVES it when you reciprocate, but if you dont he'll have a talk with you about it and find out what kind of affection you like and what you dont like.

Raph

- I feel like he has reflexes and instincts so be careful when trying to sneak attack him

- when i tell you - one tail swing and youre gone, i mean it.

- if that ever happens he'll immediately apologise and literally do anything to make it up to you, probably sobbed once out of guilt

- Now he tries his best not to swing his tail so much and lower his guard around you more.

- He would love to sneak attack you back but hes insanely scared of hurting u considering the size difference.

- Melts when you call him handsome or other nicknames, literally just a giant puppy.

- "you think Raph is handsome?" *Flustered and his ginormous tail is wagging*

- At first he doesnt notice that you stop giving affection after the greetings, but eventually he FINALLY does(slow much)

- Like the rest of his brothers, he'll ask you about it but wont go much into the convo.

- He probably already had a talk abt what kind of affection you'd reciprocate and stuff, bros respectful and sets strict boundaries frfr

[ashsostrange]

"averagegirlie" is just "xxoxobree", formerly known as "breeandhermunches" on a burner. newsflash, your "fav" miles writer isn't who you think she is!

ik a lot of us must be VERY confused so let me help you out. @/averagegirlie and @/xxoxobree are the same mfkn person! why did bree make this account? i assume that it's so she could fend for herself and keep the "unbothered" act up on her main page. that's why she deletes all her reblogs after arguing w someone then comes over to this account to start bsing. not to mention she can say extremely problematic things with no repercussions, because she doesn't have a following on that page + it's not tied to her.. at least it wasn't before! bree's a very messy liar. i peeped the truth so lemme share it w y'all.

bree if you're seeing this, go take a couple shots before you read. you should've kept it cute but you didn't, so let's get nasty mf.

i have receipts! let's start right here cz i find this the funniest:

nobody but her spells "internet" like that... this is one of the many examples of the two accounts talking alike, even though bree said she wouldn't refer to "yao" as a friend when the whole rashad thing was going down. yesterday, i reminded yao of that. she said "i like bree, so what" but she deleted that and changed it to "when are y'all gonna catch on to the fact that we talk?" mhm.. bree's a lil confused, but next!

y'all see "yao's" tag? telling alexa to play some bs... then y'all see bree?? NEXT!

go look on miss average's page. she only comes online to defend and ride the hell out of bree's dick. remember ts w amani? why are you going so hard for someone who says they dk you like that LMFAO. not to mention, when the rashad shit was happening, bree said "this my girl and she never been wrong" but then she turns around and says "i wouldn't say we're friends" WHICH ONE IS IT MISS MUNCH??! 😭🤣🤣 next!

why we praising tf out of bree's oc? ts was ai bro. we got a self supafan. next...

look at this smart anon, putting tg the pieces and shit. "ash and dalia fight your battles every time" is literally.. a lie. what battles are we referring to? talia's never in drama as much as you're implying. and ima ride for my friends anyway, tf? but my entire blog will never be centered around ONE human being. it ain't that serious ever. "yao" and bree need hobbies cz writing obv ain't doing it for her. next.

bree has also said she's messy lol. she likes drama. hm!

look at how she came on her white horse when bree was battling the great war w anons over miles morales smut (which i don't fw, js to be clear.) who summoned her? BREE LMFAIOFHDGFKJAS... NEXT!!!

here's miss xxoxo munches being ableist, much like her alter ego. bro went silent and blocked lia after this. now let's get into miss average again.

look at this bs. ion even gotta say much.. this girl is black & not chinese!! y'all should know why this is weird. here's the "evidence" she gave me btw:

here's me proving her wrong! she tried! next.

y'all see the way they're tagging their posts w their usernames? mhm.. ik you do.

HMMM....

these are both bree. i don't mean to bring up maye again, but i have to for context. what happened wasn't js "drama"... the things she said to dalia were racist + that post she was lyin' about lia in. she also liked the post.. dead giveaway you silly bitch! 🥱 nd she was also instigating in honey's inbox. i know her typing style and her emoji colors lol. it's common sense atp. it's not hard to tell when an anon is bree. and from what i'm seeing not even maye is fw her.. LMFAISAIDHSAY GIRL YOU'RE DONE! 😭 feel free to go thru their accs, you'll see ts too. she's funny asf for this, i'll give her that and that only. i've never laughed so much in under 24 hours. 💓

in conclusion, bree is messy, bored, insecure, ableist & miserable! she thought nobody would ever find out but here we are today. she fronts not gaf but then switches to this acc to let off some serious steam... as miss freeman once said: "Alexa, play yikes!"

but bless bree 💗 maybe if you change now, you'll still be able to collect your tokens like dalia says.

[ashwhowrites]

i’ve had this idea for the longest time but i don’t have the time or skills to write it well>:(

bratty!eddie being jealous of reader being friends with steve. maybe they’re having a game/movie night with friends or even just baking together and steve does something particularly flirty and eddie tries to stand his ground and show that it’s upset him but it manifests in a childish sort of tantrum. (yk, as the lil mf does lmfao) and reader is a little upset with eddie until steve makes an unkind comment about eddie’s reaction, and she’s suddenly defending eddie w her life, cause no one talks about /her/ boy

tldr; i have mommy issues and i projected it onto you. i am so sorry

If there is anyone who loves someone that's got Mommy issues, it's definitely me. Don't feel sorry about projecting it on me ;)

Bratty Eddie is my baby so I'll definitely write it &lt;3

Eddie didn't mind that Y/N had friends...well he did but he wouldn't say that. He wanted to be the only focus her attention was set on. But he understood that isn't always possible. She had a job, she had coworkers, and she had a life outside of Eddie. He didn't relate to that. He breathed her and that was all he needed. He didn't care to have friends or go to work for hours at a desk job. He wanted all his hours devoted to her.

And when she said she was inviting a work friend over for dinner, he promised to be on his best behavior. She made a list of all the things she needed from the store, sending her sweet boy off to run her errand while she went to work.

Eddie didn't want to let her down, so he accepted the list and ran off to the store. Collecting every item she wrote down, blushing at the little descriptions of what the item would look like. He snuck a few candies that definitely were not on the list.

Once he returned home, he put all the groceries away. He started to get their house together, knowing the cleaning part was his to do during the days that she worked. She wanted it extra clean for the guest. Eddie didn't question the guest. He figured it was a woman she worked with and wanted to make a good impression.

He made sure to shower and tie his hair back. Staying clear of smoking any weed or cigarettes to make the house smell funky. He dug through his closet to find his fancier shirts. Grabbing a dark blue button-up and black jeans.

Eddie was putting on his rings when he heard the front door open. A huge smile on his face as he raced to the living room.

"Mommy!" He cheered excitedly, rushing to give her a kiss.

"Hi, baby. You look handsome as ever" she smiled, pecking his lips.

"Thank you," he said shyly, feeling his cheeks turn red.

"Steve is coming in two hours so I have to start dinner right away. You want to help?" She asked, walking into the kitchen to wash her hands.

But Eddie was stuck on the name. Steve sounded like a boy's name. She invited a man over for dinner?

"um, Steve?" Eddie squeaked out. He didn't want to sound as insecure as he felt. Was Steve attractive? Did he like her? How did they meet?

"Yeah! He works at my office. He's training under me for a position so I invited him over to get to know each other." She shrugged like it was no big deal. But Eddie was going off the walls.

"He's training with you? As in he'll be following you around the whole time at work?" Eddie questioned.

"Yeah, but it's no big deal. I'm all yours." She reminded him, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

~~~

Turns out Steve was gorgeous and Eddie hated that. He had a pretty boy smile and charming eyes. Eddie grew more nervous as he saw similarities between him and Steve. Dark hair to go with their dark eyes, both have a nerdy sense of humor, and both have that look of adoration in their eyes when they look at Y/N.

If Y/N was attracted to Eddie, there's a big chance she would be attracted to Steve too.

Eddie pouted all throughout dinner. Listening to Steve's countless stories, all of them making him sound like the most perfect man in the world. Eddie hated the way it made him so insecure.

He hated the way Y/N's eyes followed Steve's every move as he told a story, her attention locked in on him.

Once they finished dinner, Steve offered to help with the dishes.....suck up. Eddie always got to help with the dishes.

But Y/N welcomed the help and both worked on the dishes by the kitchen sink. Eddie watched from the table, well watching Steve more than anything.

He hated the way Steve licked his lips as he watched her. The way Steve's eyes looked like they wanted to devour her, with no care that Eddie was sitting right there.

Eddie's last straw was when Y/N accidentally lost her grip on the plate, plunging into the sink and causing the water to splash all over her white shirt. The red lace bra easily shows itself. And easily catches both of the boy's eyes in the room.

"wow Y/N, wear that just for me?" Steve smirked. Y/N assumed it was a careless joke so she laughed and brushed it off. But Eddie took it as pure disrespect. This guy was disrespecting her, their relationship, and him all at once.

"HEY!" Eddie shouted, hitting the table as he stood up.

Y/N quickly looked over her shoulder at him. Her eyes told him not to do whatever he was going to do. Steve looked at him confused and that pissed Eddie off more.

"You don't talk to her like that! She didn't wear it for you and she never will." Eddie snapped, crossing his arms to seem more intimidating.

"Just a harmless joke, man," Steve said, holding his hands up to show he meant no harm.

"It's not harmless. You are making comments about her body. That's not a body you get to admire! It's mine!" Eddie pouted, losing his intimidation immediately when he stomped his foot.

Y/N let out a big sigh, knowing exactly what an Eddie stomp let to. He was seconds away from a tantrum.

"Baby, let's relax before you get upset." She said softly. Wiping the soap off of her hands before she walked over to him.

She kissed his pouty lips, keeping her voice low as she spoke against his lips, "Head to bed and I'll be right there and we'll talk."

Eddie huffed but accepted her order. Uncrossing his arms and shuffling out of the room.

She took a deep breath when she heard the bedroom door slam hard.

"I'm sorry about that." She apologized, walking back over to Steve.

"Sorry about his little hissy fit? He's like a man-child." Steve snickered

But Y/N didn't find anything funny.

"He was upset and he had a right to be. Your comment shouldn't have been made and especially not in front of my boyfriend. You disrespected him in his own house. And now? You disrespected me by talking about him like that. You can get the hell out of my house." She snapped. Stomping over to the front door and yanking it open.

"Look, it was a joke! I didn't mean to upset anyone" Steve tried to explain.

"Well, you did. We'll talk at the office but right now, please leave" she ordered. And just like Eddie would, Steve followed her order in seconds. Grabbing his jacket as he walked himself out the door.

Before she closed the door she called his name, "And Steve?" He turned around, "If you ever talk about him like that again, I won't hesitate to get your ass fired." Then she slammed the door.

~~~

"Baby?" Eddie turned his head as he heard a soft knock on the bedroom door.

"Open, Mommy," he said, turning his head back to face the wall when she walked in.

She crawled onto the bed, grabbing his small waist as she turned him on his back. His red puppy eyes stare at the ceiling.

"You want to talk about it?" She whispered, moving her hand to undo the bottom buttons of his shirt. Exposing his tummy as she began to draw small circles against the skin.

Eddie hummed at the comfortable feeling.

"I'm sorry I embarrassed you." He whispered, eyes still on the ceiling.

"you didn't, baby. You had every right to put him in his place." She reassured him.

"Why did you send me away then?" He asked, this time looking down at her.

"I wanted you to calm yourself down, that's all," She said, giving him a small smile as she finally was able to make eye contact.

"Not embarrassed of me?" He whispered, his hand moving down to land on hers. Now causing her hand to rest against his stomach.

"Never," she said, moving up to kiss his lips. He kissed her back instantly, loving how safe he felt underneath her touch.

She pulled away and stared at him for a few seconds. Sensing something in his head as he kept looking down at her bra.

"You want to cum on it, don't you?" She laughed. Eddie blushed immediately, she could feel the hand on hers get wet with sweat.

"a little" he squeaked out, hips wiggling when her free hand moved to unbutton his black jeans.

"after all, it is your bra" she teased.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingwicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93

Bratty Eddie tags

@simping-over-boys-with-trauma @capricornrisingsstuff @somnialol @buginnettesstuff @thegemaqua @skyline4446

@bunnyweasley23 @leahhs-things

[leejenowrld]

has seoyeon continued to bother yn and jeno?

yes! the stares have continued but it doesn’t bother yn anymore. the 360 change in reaction and attitude is hot and it turns jeno on. the past yn would get so much anxiety and fear every time someone stared at her and jeno, but now, she’s gone through so much and felt so much that she doesn’t care anymore!! instead, she makes fun of the whole situation lmfao if she feels someone being a bitch and staring a bit too much, she gets extra touchy with jeno. the pda is intense!! jeno is more for public pda, his hand is always in hers, arm around her shoulder, hand in her back pocket, lips will always be on her skin whereas yn does keep it relatively controlled in public but the times when seoyeon or any other girl stares, she’ll legit just break jeno from any conversation and start making out with him :D jeno gets so confused but god he moans against her lips! my man is loving it <3 mwah

one time it got serious. don’t ask why but jeno had convinced yn to party with him. it was juyeons party, yn was happy and having fun! all her friends were there too. she stayed close to jeno all night long, they were being a young couple in love, dancing sexy and close to each other, being touchy, the kissing. for a change for a party, jeno’s lips found itself on her more so than on the glass of an alcoholic beverage or drugs !! but don’t get me wrong, he was high

anyways… here comes seoyeon. as jeno and yn look into each others eyes and hold each other close, seoyeon legit comes from nowhere and pours a glass of wine all over yns dress. it was red and it stained. funny thing is, they didn’t even know she was near or at the party. she was lurking and hiding all night long, staring at them but they were in their own worlds too involved with each other to care 😭

and wow… you’ve never seen jeno more angry. his first reaction was to check on his girl cus she was pretty startled and surprised! he kissed her, whispered something sweet to her and gave her his jacket immediately as the liquid was making her top very see through. his soft eyes turned brutal as he turned to her, my god… the anger was like no other i can’t describe it, he begins basically verbally belittling her and for good reason! and he’s about to go on and on but then suddenly heejin comes out of nowhere and throws a glass at seoyeon and then seoyeon throws hands but heejin punches her in the face:D

the thing is, jeno and heejin are literally the no 1 yn protectors cus even tho yn has grown in confidence, she still don’t defend herself! when people are mean to her she just sits there and takes it. she doesn’t fight back, she’s too scared to, her anxiety and her shock takes over. as heejin is punching her, yn is genuinely out of it, like she’s dissociated and still processing what’s happened :( that’s why jeno and heejin always fight for her :( especially those 2. if jeno is with yn and someone’s treated her unfairly, she’ll let them get away with it but he won’t!! he fights for his girl

and heejin… don’t get me started. she’s the best best friend you could ever ask for. i wish i could’ve made her a more primary character in the fic but i’m gonna write some extra pieces that include her ! so you can see how truly hot, fearless, giving and confident she is. she was watching the whole seoyeon situation from afar and buzzing with anger as the minutes went on. she just had to punch her. it angers her that seoyeon picks on yn because she knows that she won’t fight back and believes her to be an easy target, she vocalises that clearly. she says that she is more insecure than she claims yn to be. she says that her obbession with yn is incredibly sad because what is she doing wrong!? she’s at a party and having fun with her boyfriend? she genuinely offers to book seoyeon a therapy session lmfao

lowkey wanna write this as an entire scene

should i?

[nereidprinc3ss]

so um, you’ve probably have been asked this many times but how do you start writing fanfic without cringing at yourself? i already feel silly for reading it. i noticed you have gained recognition outside of tumblr which i believe to be an achievement but i can’t allow myself to go through that.

i work in the finance sector at a big american firm, i can’t have my coworkers knowing i’m writing fanfic. i already get teased for watching disney animated films (which it’s not that bad) how do you deal with this? ik you’re still at college and ofc, this doesn’t mean you’re stupid but i bet you know what i mean? do you have some advice on this?

⚠️me not shutting the fuck up and getting way too personal below the cut

honestly at first i DID cringe at myself. i cringed so much that after posting my first fic in like november i dont think i posted again til january because i was writing and would just get so humiliated despite being alone and no one knowing who i was or what i was doing LOL but honestly the way i got over that was just to do it more because i truly love writing and why would i let feeling “cringe” stop me from doing something i love and that makes me happy? that would be so heartbreaking, life is hard enough, we deserve to do things we love and are passionate about without judging ourselves so harshly

as for not letting other people know well yeah i just don’t tell my friends or anyone ik in real life that i write fanfic lol, they know i love to write and they know im obsessed with spencer reid but that’s as much as i’ve told them! i know it’s a thing that maybe most people would consider “weird” but as someone who has a crushing fear of intimacy this is kinda my outlet lmfao. and it made me feel really insecure and weird at first but then i realized like… i try to be kind and caring and thoughtful, i have a lot of good qualities and the fact that i write fanfic doesn’t actually detract from any of them. it also helped for me to accept the reason why i write fanfic which is (and we’re abt to get real personal) i’m deeply afraid of intimacy of any kind and always have been so writing fiction abt the stuff i’m too scared to do isn’t a bad thing. there are a lot of people who wouldn’t understand it but they don’t have the same experiences as me and i don’t need them to understand it because i know that they never could. like they don’t understand what it’s like to so terrified of being known by another person that you obsess over the hottest guy in your school district for six months bc you want the validation of him liking you back and you do everything in your power to make him like you and then when he actually does reciprocate you immediately start icing him out to the point where he says hi at a party and you ignore him to his face cause you’re so afraid of men😂😂😂😂😂 they don’t get those vibes!!!

anyway basically you just have to remember that you’re doing it for you and it actually doesn’t mean something is WRONG with you if you enjoy writing and the safety and control that fiction offers you. it just means you’re one of billions of people living an entirely unique experience, just like anyone else, and honestly i think it makes you interesting. having hobbies and passions is rlly sexy and cool, regardless of what they are, and you deserve to do stuff you like doing. if anyone else is giving you shit abt it it’s probably because they genuinely don’t understand what it’s like to have interests and that makes me feel bad for them lol

[sencrose]

mdni this is not my usual kinda writing.

gojo satoru x gn!reader. wc ~700. sfw, first time meetings, the start of a one-sided rivals to lovers vibe, reader is a disco pang operator lmfao. divider by @/adornedwithlight

Days and nights tend to blend together when you spend most of your waking hours indoors. You're sure your circadian rhythm was ruined months ago. No sun, just erratic strobe lights shining through all the colors of the rainbow which don’t actually do anything to light up the dim room. 

If you had control over the lights you would’ve done something about them a while ago. But for now, you hold a decent amount of power at your fingertips. Speed, power, and movement. 

It’s a normal day, and you have a normal routine. Let the patrons spill into the ride, mentally choose your victims for the next five minutes. Take in any notable appearances or insecurities you can use as a punchline. It’s all in good fun.

“Alright let’s get started everyone!” you announce into the mic, abruptly starting the machine. A few screams pierce through the air from the riders.

And your first victim of your five minute tirade is a white-haired man wearing sunglasses, sitting casually along the seat, his arms splayed over the railing. Through the controls, you spin the ride until he’s sitting at the top, spotlight shined right on to his form. 

“What the hell is with that hair?” you ask.

The man looks around, as if there’s anyone else you’d be talking to before pointing at his face. “Me?” he asks back.

“Yeah, you,” you respond, adjusting the controls to get him bouncing off his seat. He simply holds on, barely moving.

“Nothing! It’s all natural!” he yells back, grinning.

“Natural, my ass. It looks tacky,” you say, a hint of annoyance in your tone. The ride jerks and catches a couple of people by surprise, but not him. 

“Aw, you’re really hurting my feelings, sweetheart,” he says casually.

The pet name pierces through your ear drums, even with the loud pop music playing through the speakers. You don’t remember the last time anyone’s called you that, and it has you flustered. Has blood rushing to your cheeks. Of all things to get worked up over.

It takes you a moment to shake yourself out of it before redirecting your attention back to him. Study him again to find something else to poke at.

“Wearing sunglasses indoors? Got something to hide?” you ask, hoping you’ve found something worth honing in on.

“Not at all, just a force of habit!” he responds back, gleefully.

“Take ‘em off then!”

“Alright, alright, but don’t fall in love with me.” He takes one of his arms off the rail and takes his glasses off, folding them before hanging them off the collar of his shirt.

You have to slide the mic to the side to groan to yourself. Even from a distance you can see his eyes are an awe-striking blue.

“I have to say dear announcer, I was expecting something a bit more exciting!” he exclaims, slouching back into his seat.

Has anyone ever had an aneurysm from pure frustration? Because you’re sure you’re about to join the club.

“I’ll get you bouncing off your seat.”

“Promise?” he teases.

But no matter how hard you attempt to jerk him around, even though everyone else on the ride jumps and tumbles around, he doesn’t move. That pisses you off. 

You slow the ride down, aiming to give the signs of an end. With a flick of a switch, the ride jolts multiple times in succession, and you get the man off his seat. 

“Ah, looks like you finally got me!” he laughs.

Before he has the chance to get back to his seat, you make the ride move erratically. Whatever random combination of spins, stops and pulses comes to mind, you do your best to execute it.

Yet no matter what you do, he takes it with grace. He simply jumps to match the rhythm of the ride. Walks around as if he’s on flat pavement, catching the occasional body that flies out of their seat.

And before you know it, time’s up. It’s unsatisfactory, seeing him still standing by the end of it, smug grin painted on his face pointed right towards you as he exits the ride.

“Wow, that was a lot of fun! I’ll have to come more often. 'Til next time!” He waves with a goodbye.

You hope he’s lying.

tagging: @pixelcafe-network

[loquarocoeur]

Hey lovely! I’m back w another anon, at this point I’ll put an emoji so you know it’s the same person saying hi bc I’m not sending this on my blog name but ashshsjsh.

The asks and your responses on the spanking shit have me wanting to send this ask that I’ve been thinking about, but like. After the end of ‘pushing buttons’ I rlly enjoyed the bit where charles was almost insecure, and max responded the way he did so beautifully about how he loves charles the most bc he’s charles and what about it him he finds so loving and hot and how he was mentioning Charles’s pleasure too and that just. Really made me want to have a fic perhaps on the doms pleasure a bit. Not entirely but if you’d want to I’d love for you to get into charles head and thoughts a bit. It’s hard to explain what I mean because I’m being vague bc I’m embarrassed enough typing this as is lmfao but I hope you kinda get what I mean here? How you were talking about charles headspace in the other ask and everything I just got very Inchrested

I just love this verse and the way you write and maybe I die everytime I see another blog post of yours about some smutty shit! Maybe!

- 🦢 (I’ll make myself the swan emoji anon bc why the fuck not. Hi it’s me I sent the asks like max speaking Italian for maybe one line perfectly and made the suggestion about the ‘monza fic having the hotel tifosi chanting. Idk I just wanted to lyk it was me ahahshsjjs)

Okay hi, hello, I'm here with my thoughts now and absolutely YES, prepare for an essay:

Like idk, I've been meaning and trying to get into Charles' head a bit more since forever, but it is just quite hard nailing him down, he's just a very complex character nowadays with that duality between his 'dom persona' I guess and then absolute golden retriever, head over heels, bend over backwards, and jump when Max says jump sweetheart he is outside of that headspace

It's just there's just so many things from Charles' perspective to think of, you know, specifically talking about sex scenes now:

Like, okay, first of all, he's just a man, Max barely needs to take off his shirt. Like he's absolutely insatiable, he goes insane for a glimpse of Max's stomach, the only time he won't even try to start anything in the shower is if he got an orgasm five minutes ago, so obviously there's the aspect that he just thinks Max is fucking hot, just looking at Max does it for him, and also men are men, it feels good getting their dicks wet I guess

But then there's also obviously the thing that we don't talk about enough in fandom and that's that doms like being dominant just as much as subs like being submissive

And you know it's hard to nail it down and elucidate it, because we don't have enough examples for it, because (and this is also totally fine of course) fandom is just usually very focused on the perspective of more submissive people for probably many reasons which we won't get into rn, but the point is like you have to make this shit up as you go, there's not a script and an easy how-to like there is for writing submissive perspectives because we've all read thousands of those of course

Because like obviously Max technically has as much if not more control over the situation as Charles does with safewords and all, but Charles obviously LIKES being or feeling in control

There's kind of this underlying societal belief that we often get where it's just perceived as inherently bad when someone wants or likes to be in control or in a position of power, which is why I feel we hear the dom perspective waaay less than the sub one, because ironically, the doms are too shy to speak up I guess lol

But you know Charles obviously likes that he can tell Max what to do and he does it, he likes how Max, just as a person, is quite dominant in the way he behaves, he's not a follower, when someone says sit down Max asks why, and he's no different with Charles when they're just them and there's no dom/subness going on, but he likes how when they're in that space and Charles says sit down Max sits the fuck down

And then I think the thing I always emphasized most is how Charles just gets off on seeing Max feel good, like he gets off on making Max feel so good he loses all function, and that comes back to Charles having just as much of a praise kink as Max, but he doesn't need Max to tell him he's doing good, he needs to see it

And then it's just how do I fit all this in and consolidate it with the way that of course, Charles is far from quiet or reserved during sex, he won't shut up actually, but there's these times when, from Max's perspective, you have no idea what's going on in his head, because he has this talent for just turning his face blank

And don't think I as the author somehow know any more than you do when it comes to Max's perspective like guys idk either, I was just there

But yes, I do hope to elaborate on it a bit more in the future🥰❤️❤️❤️

[ohdudedhesflirting]

I love you so I let you go

Pairing: Seok matthew x gender neutral reader

Warnings: Y/N is insecure (extremely), insults

Notes : I havent written anything in over a year due to various reasons so its messy lol and globally bad. Its just to get me back on writing and get rid of my writing trauma lmfao. English is my second language. (Also darling seok02 I am not tagging you bc you deserve better this, I will do better I promise <3)

Genre: University au, Matthew fell first, friends to sweethearts, angst, break-up.

Synopsis: Y/n and Matthew are in a relationship but sometimes insecurity get the best of you..

.....Under the cut ...!

Many people had different names to qualify you. Dumb, weak, unworthy, ugly..

You were used to it by now. You knew that the words you were over-hearing on a daily basis were not real.

The insults had started when your relationship to your boyfriend, Matthew, became public.

Matthew and you were the same age, coming from the same city, friends since school and finally at university as well. You werent majoring in the same discipline but it didnt matter, Matthew always made time for you, his favorite friend to hang out, eat together. He always made sure you were never eating alone.

Something had shifted in your relationship a year ago, when you went back home and realised that Matthew wasn't only glued at your hip at university.

You were quite the insecure person and even if you had known Matthew your whole life there was this little part of you that always thought that if he was hanging out with you daily was because he had taken you on pity.

How could he not ?

You had grown up together. You played as childrens, had braces together, learned together how to tie your shoelaces. Of course he would feel pity for you. And stay by your side at univerisity were you knew no one and had not made any friends.

Matthew on his side, social butterfly he was, had quickly made friends, Kim Jiwoong an acting major a few years older, Kim Tae Rae and Zhang Hao from the composing major...

You never understood why Matthew always took them with him to have lunch with you, or simply ditching them to not leave you alone. But it was fine, you thought "well he pity me, what can I do" and thought it would stop once you went home.

But it didnt, he was even clingier then when you left your respective parent's houses at the beginning of the school year.

He was swinging by your home almost daily, taking your dog on walks with you, doing gardening with your father.

Thats when you started to question it. Why was he nice to you ? Yes you grow up together, yes he must have felt some kind of responsabilities when you were at the university but here ? In the city of your childhood..? With no one but people you knew you whole life ? Why was he staying by your side ?

Naturally you asked him, and he confessed, hands shaking and tears in his eyes. You were left with only confusion.

Matthew was the sweetest person that you could ever think of, why would he likes you?

Pleading with you he had convinced you to put him over a trial, "try being my partner for two weeks, give me two weeks, and if afterwards you are not interested, we will stay as friends"

Of course, you didn't need those two weeks to know that Matthew was the best person ever, and well, that you liked him.

Coming to your place to watch movies together, accompanying you when you had to do grocery shopping for your parents. Going on drive to see the sea together, laying on the grass together to observe the clouds and give them shapes (and mainly fighting over said shapes)

The two weeks had passed and you stayed together.

Your summer break was the best part of your life, you had enjoyed every single second of it. Enjoying each other presence. Both of your famillies were most than pleased at the way your relationship had developped.

You never told Matthew you loved him, he was always the one to do so. There was always this little voice in your head to tell you that you were not good enough for him, pretty enough, clever enough. But it was fine you managed to deal with it.

But you got back to your university, and one of his classmate found out about you two dating and quickly, like fire, the news spread out on campus. Matthew was popular, with girls, with boys. And quickly you became "Matthew's partner".

People were coming to you, asking you if you were Matthew's signifiant other, laughing in your face, belittling you, saying your relationship would never make it through, that you werent enough for him. That he pitied you.

Until one day you could not stand it anymore. You were at Matthew's place, the appartement he shared with his friends, laying together on the couch. Matthew was watching his favorite anime, completely immersed in it.

But you, their words kept coming back, again and again.

Turning your face from the tv screen to your boyfriend, you admired his feature, chocolate like hair, a big smile, sparkling eyes. He was the prettiest, kindest person you had ever met. And you loved him so much.

"Wake up Y/N, Matthew is just doing charity work you know ? One day he is gonna ditch you and then what ? You are nothing"

You felt your stomach hurts, and once again since a few weeks you ran to the bathroom, the sudden urge to vomit. Matthew stoped the movie and urged to the bathroom, putting his hand on your back, rubbing it slowly, comforting you.

Once you were done, he slowly picked you up, and laid you down on the couch. Picking up a glass of water he was getting back to your side.

"Are you alright love ?"

You stayed silent for a few seconds, looking at his face. He was worried, it wasn't the first time you were vomitting in a short time.

"I want to break up."

Matthew went further on his place and looked at you without understanding what was happening.

"What do you mean ?"

"You and I. Breaking up. I can't do it anymore. I just can't."

He was looking at you without words, the last events of the last months going back in his head. What was happening ? Why did you wanted to break up ? Since when were you feeling like this ?

"Why..? We are doing just fine..? Why do you wanna..?"

It was your turn to be without words, you had never told Matthew about what people were saying to you. Always enduring by yourself.

There was this little voice, greedy voice, that always told you that if you were to speak up about it he would just break up with you more quickly. You were just greedy, you wanted to keep him by your side just a little bit longer.

Unable to speak any words, you stand up, packing your stuff in your bag, tying your shoelaces, Matthew follows you, wordless.

"I love you, please, don't let go of me"

You looked at Matthew one last time, his tears were starting to fall on his cheeks, you took your jacket and went out.

Closing the door behind you, you feel your breath hurting your chest, you go down the stairs, and finally you make it at the bottom of the building.

Walking across your campus, head hidden in your hoodie, you make it to your dorm. Closing your door behind you. And finally letting yourself go.

You allow yourself to cry, in a place safe, where no one can see you or hear you.

Matthew last look kept coming back inside your head, and you couldn't get it out.

It was breaking your whole heart out but there was this part of yourself that kept thinking that he was just better off without you. You were stopping him from his real life, keeping him behind everything.

Seok Matthew deserved better than you. You loved him so you had to let him go.

Part 2.