#live your truth and then die ig

[disruptivevoib]

Long Ramble about CCCC and my overall feelings on what the album means and such

Something I find important about CCCC is like.

The fact that all three of them are, in some way, trying.

Heart is emotion, he is prone to himself and being reactionary, in the moment. Prone to the past of learned behavior and trauma. Reactive and rapidly changing. He isn't going to make pure sense because he isn't based in logic or in societal ideals or views. He is an instinctual response to the environment and circumstances. His manipulation is not intentional. He has very little control of himself in the end. Its why Mind talks about claiming to relish entropy yet clearly needing help. But, Heart in earnest wants them to be okay and safe. He believes that Mind's control will drain the life from them. It will make things monotonous and the same. Too much order.

Mind in turn, believes Heart is manipulative with intention. He wants to control Soul or wants to just drag them all down with him into this depressive state. Mind is logic, he is the reasoning out of your emotional instinct. Your inner critique, and when unchecked, that inner critique goes from a guiding hand for your emotion to one that debates and bullies it. Invalidating its responses. Ultimately, though. Mind just believes he is helping. He is doing what must be done and telling the "hard truths" to Heart. And that Heart is being the petty child. Which- I mean. Sort of sure. But Mind is definitely fucking petty and childish. He's stubborn! Prideful! So ofc he is. Admitting you're wrong? No.. why would he EVER do that.. nuh uh.

Which is what makes Light so crucial. Mind asking Heart for help- but also. There is Soul.

Who while ambiguous in purpose, is mostly that background voice. Your inner narration. If Mind is Logic and Reason then Heart is Emotion and Instinct,, Soul is all that lives between it. And he is constantly silenced or spoken over or around. He does not get a word in edgewise until TSE. He may show up in the background occasionally but as much as Heart and Mind claim to want to keep him alive and help him, they also fail to actually acknowledge what he says.

Which is that they both are right and wrong. That this fighting is doing directly what they both feared it would. Soul is desperate by the end. He is angry and resentful because.. well. Self hatred due to intense self awareness and reflection is rather ig. Common. Im not a professional here but from personal experience, you get so tired of rehashing the same shit with yourself over and over. It all feels pointless.

The only out, by the end of it all to Soul is that if they cannot be Whole, whats the point? He is desperate. He does not want to die but he feels theres no other solution.

And. About Whole, Soul throughout the album seems to want that. At the beginning, to be Whole or Harmonious is to be mentally healthy, maybe even "normal" by society's standards. To be able to put a mask over your problems and be, again, "normal". It takes the entire album for Soul to realize that this:

1. isnt possible

And

2. There isn't anything evil or wrong with him for that.

Mental health is a struggle. But you are not evil and should not be othered because you struggle. You also do not need to be fixed for being a little different and people's opinion of you is not what matters most so long as you are happy (and not hurting others. Lol).

Thats what Two Wuv is entirely about as a song. Its a "fuck you. Fuck this! I thought I needed to be this! But I DON'T. Stop telling me who I am! How to be! I'm gonna be me!"

His entire arc is parallel to Heart and Mind's and is crucial in the culmination of becoming yourself again and accepting yourself.

But, as mental health will always be, this period of respite and self acceptance is not always forever. And as life continues or as you lapse back into a depressive episode.. you cannot help but forget what it is like when you're not this way- and hell! Vice versa too! Some people have this disconnect between the periods. Where the things from the depressive state seem dramatic or obtuse to you while you are doing better. And from the other end, you just want to be happy again.. but you get so lost in it all you can struggle to feel like you've ever been happy.

The album is about the human experience. It is about self-sabotage, mental illness, self-hatred and reflection and it is, maybe more importantly about self-acceptance and healing. Having a bit of mercy on yourself. Accepting that you are imperfect and that this is okay. And whatever flaws you may have that need to be mended or worked on, can be. And that who you are, for example, if you are queer, is okay. And no one has the right to take that identity from you! That the internalized ideas of how someone should be are not always correct or right. Not for you, at least. Stuff like that.

[gracieeegleegal]

Chris sturniolo smau plsssssssss

Thank you love ur work ❤️

Ofc my love! 🫶🏻

STARGIRL • Chris Sturniolo

Summary : Y/n has been Chris’s best friend for years, they’re always around each other and being touchy with each other. But that’s what best friends do…right?

Note: Y/n lives with the triplets

Pairings: chris sturniolo x fem!reader, matt sturniolo x platonic!femreader, nick sturniolo x platonic!femreader

Warnings: language

Face claim: Keilani Lizbeth

@ynusername

Liked by christophersturniolo, matthew.sturniolo and 234,678 others

ynusername life lately 🌮 (the birria tacos were to die 4)

Tagged: @christophersturniolo

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@matthew.sturniolo bring me some tacos

→ @ynusername sir yes sir 🫡

@christophersturniolo why do I look so bad in that picture you did me se dirty

→@ynusername shut up no u don’t, u look adorable sleeping

→ @sturniolo.fan just kiss already

@nicolasaturniolo Offended that I wasn’t even invited to your taco night

→ @ynusername Im sorry baby, we’ll go out just us tomorrow 🫶🏻

→ @mattew.sturniolo What about me?

→ @ynusername you too matt 😚

→ @christopher.sturniolo ☹️ you’re taking her away from me

→ @nicolassturniolo shut the fuck up you’ve had her all week, let us have her for a day

@tarayummyy Gorgeous 😍😍

→ @ynusername I luv you Taraaaaa❣️

@ynchris they have got to be dating

→ @chrisssfan they are so cute together

→ @yn4hwarsr Did they go on a date?

@nathandoe8 I wanted tacos 😞

→ @ynusername Might as well just buy food for everyone ig

@sturniolo.triplets

Liked by ynusername, nathandoe8, christophersturniolo and 568,789 others

sturniolo.triplets HAPPPPPYYYY FRIDAYYYYYYYYY!!!! NEW VIDEO OUT NOW WITH SPECIAL GUEST CURLS GO WATCH!!!! REMEBER YOU ARE LOVED ❤️

tagged : @matthew.sturniolo, @nicolassturniolo, @christophersturniolo, @ynusername

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@ynusername Always a pleasure to join you three crackheads 😚 love youuuuuuuuu

→ @nicolassturniolo and we loveeee youuuuu queen

→ @mattew.sturniolo love you curlsssss

→ @christophersturniolo ❤️❤️

@christophersturniolo still shocked with the plot twist

→ @ynusername I was confident I had won 😞 I grew very attached to my egg

→ @christophersturniolo you’ll be a great mom one day petal

@username stoooooop y/n and Chris this whole video made me die

→ @ynhearts Did you see how Chris looked at her

→ @sturniolofansss they were so close the entire video

→ @user7279 did you see how y/n drew a heart on Chris’s egg 😭😭 and he smiledd

→ @user104 Or how he started sharing his fries with her????

@matthew.sturniolo Big plot twist

→ @ynusername That was mean 😢 I loved petunia

→ @mattew.sturniolo I’m sorry curls I had to 🙂

→ @nicolassturniolo Petunia??

→ @ynusername What? It’s a nice name

Texts between Matt and Nick

Real life

Nick and Matt had been super attentive to y/n and Chris for the past week. They noted that whenever y/n spoke about another guy, Chris would tense up but pretended he didn’t and tease y/n about the guy.

But Nick and Matt knew better. Chris would often go rigid at the mention of another man whenever y/n spoke to him. He was very jealous of the fact that she was talking to someone else, however he simply disregarded his jealousy as a fear of losing his best friend. But that was far from the truth, he was in love with his best friend, yes the didn’t want to admit it or else everything would get ruined.

That’s why Nick and Matt came up with a clever plan that would most likely reveal Chris’s true feelings towards a certain curly haired girl. Nick had gone off earlier to the grocery store to buy a bouquet of flowers. He would later ask Matt to write down a fake card that would say a certain admirer gifted the flowers to y/n.

When the time came, Chris and y/n were cuddling on the couch of the living room watching a movie after finishing a live stream earlier that day. Nick had pretended to go out with some of his friend when in reality he was outside the house door with the bouquet on his hands. Nick rang the doorbell and rushed out of the way and hid.

“I’ll get it!” Matt shouted from the kitchen, knowing Chris wouldn’t move from his comfortable place next to y/n. He opened the door and greeted Nick silently before picking up the bouquet. “Uh…y/n/n?”

“Yes?” She shouted from her spot in the living room. Matt had made his way up the stairs and into the living room with the bouquet of flowers. “I think these are for you.” He handed the flowers to the girl, who thanked him and looked at the card attached to the bouquet.

Chris once he saw the flowers perked up in his seat, easing his eyebrows in confusion and what looked like to be annoyance. Matt snickered at his brothers face before making his way to his room. “Who are the flowers from?” Chris asked.

Y/n smiled, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t know, it says it’s from a secret admirer.” Her smile brightened, but Chris’s face darkened. Y/n took note of his expression and frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh nothing, just the fact that you have a fucking secret admirer.”

“What’s wrong with that?” The girl asked.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe the fact that he knows where we fucking live?” Chris shouted in anger.

Chris's outburst left y/n stunned, her heart pounding in her chest. She had never seen him this upset before. The room seemed to close in around them, the tension thick and suffocating.

“Why are you so angry?” y/n asked softly, her voice layered with confusion and sadness, just a bit. “It’s just flowers…”

Chris ran a hand through his hair, standing up from his spot next to y/n, pushing her off and pacing the room like a caged animal. He knew he was overreacting, but the thought of someone else fighting for her attention, someone else possibly stealing her away, was driving him mad. He stopped abruptly, facing her, his eyes blazing with a mix of frustration and something deeper.

“It’s not just the flowers, y/n,” he said, his voice lower now, almost pleading. “It’s… it’s everything.”

“What do you mean, Chris?” Y/n stood up now to face the anxious boy.

It was all too much, and before Chris knew it he blurted out his thoughts. “The thought of you with someone else, the thought that you might care about someone else the way I—” He cut himself off, biting his lip, but the words were already out there, hanging in the air between them.

“The way you what?” y/n asked, her heart skipping a beat. She stood straight for a minute before taking a hesitant step toward him.

Chris looked at her, his eyes softening as he realized there was no turning back now. “The way I care about you,” he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. “The way I love you, y/n.”

Her breath caught in her throat as the weight of his words sank in. “Chris… you… you love me?”

He nodded, his gaze intense but vulnerable. “Yeah, I do. I’ve been in love with you for so long, but I was scared. Scared of ruining our friendship, scared that you wouldn’t feel the same way. But I can’t keep it to myself anymore.”

y/n took another step closer, her eyes never leaving his. “You idiot,” she murmured, a soft smile playing on her lips. “You really think I’d be spending all this time with you, cuddling with you, if I didn’t feel the same way?”

Chris blinked, processing her words. “Wait… you…?”

“Yes, Chris,” she said, her smile widening. “I love you too.”

Before he could fully comprehend what was happening, y/n closed the distance between them, her hands gently cupping his face as she leaned in and kissed him. The kiss was soft and tentative at first, but then Chris responded, his arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer. The kiss deepened, filled with all the unspoken emotions they had both been holding back for so long.

When they finally pulled away, both of them were breathless, their foreheads resting against each other’s.

“So,” y/n whispered with a playful smile, “still jealous of my secret admirer?”

Chris chuckled, shaking his head followed by his loud laughter.

@christophersturniolo

Liked by ynusername, mattew.sturniolo, nicolassturniolo and 1,673,789 others

christophersturniolo Can you tell I love her more than anything in this world?

Tagged: @ynusername

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@ynusername I love you so much my sweet boy 🩷

→ @christophersturniolo I love you more petal 🩷

@nicolassturniolo Stop Im crying 😭 this is everything I’ve ever wanted

→ @ynusername I love you bub thank you for everything🫶🏻

@mattew.sturniolo FINALLY THANK GOD 🙏

→ @ynusername I love you matt 🫶🏻

@tarayummyy CONGRATS GUYS!!! SO HAPPY ❤️

→ @christophersturniolo Thank you Tara ❤️

→ @ynusername Thank you baby 😘😘

@user718 IM GOING TO DIE

@ynhearts THIS IS ADORABLE 😭

@nathandoe8 He finally got the girl 💪🏻

→ @christophersturniolo Yesssirrrr

@larray No fucking way 😮 FINALLY

→ @quenblackwell The sexual tension was killinggg meeee

@ynusername

Liked by christophersturniolo, nicolassturniolo, mattew.sturniolo and 1,028,489 others

ynusername And to think all of this happened because of some bouquet of flowers. I love you my sweet boy 🩷

tagged : @christophersturniolo

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@christophersturniolo I love you my beautiful girl

→ @ynusername I love you more ❤️

@nicolassturniolo @mattew.sturniolo we did it

→ @mattew.sturniolo. We did do it indeed 💪🏻

@christophersturniolo. How did it take me so long to realize I was in love with you, you’re gorgeous

→@ynusername You may be stupid that’s why 🤭

→ @christophersturniolo Fuck you

→ @marylou Christopher Owen Sturniolo you do not speak to a woman that way! Much less to y/n

→ @christophersturniolo Sorry mom :( sorry petal

@user17 Time to act surprised

@sturniolofanss Highlight of my year

[all-purpose-dish-soap]

hi hi!! saw the list of wips and was curious about the keegan ones :3c

also pls don’t put me in the basement i have finals next week and like three pieces i gotta work on!!!! and ig the petri dishes gotta be in the right conditions

no, no finals. only basement. mine now. <3

keegan number 1 for the wip ask game: soulmate keegan-- takes place during the mission "clockwork," for the cod: ghosts enjoyers!

It burns where he's gripping you. Sears your neck at the throat. It hurts so bad you white out for a moment. The man's arm tightens across your shoulders, pinning you to his chest, and you grab his forearm. He hisses in pain. Instantly, you both know what just happened: he soulmarked you; and you, him. He burned his handprint into your throat--the first place he touched you. You burned yours into his arm--singeing him through your gloves and through his disguise. Keegan knew his soulmate probably existed in the world somewhere, but never thought much about what it would be like to know her—if he ever had the chance at all. Still, finding his soulmate here and now--a Federation soldier in a Federation base, of all things--triggers an instinct in his mind that compels him to keep her from harm. That instinct wars with the need to carry out the mission at all costs. But his grip doesn't lessen. Instead, he tightens his arm around you, trying to keep a cool head. He drags you past his teammates--Logan, Hesh, and Merrick--and into an adjacent empty room. You can barely see anything, but you hear shouting and the exchange of gunfire. You struggle against his hold. "Let go of me!" "I'm not gonna let go." He shifts his grip to pry your head back, exposing the glowing soulmark formed at the base of your neck. His breath falls over the mark, and it glows hotter. Neither of you can ignore this. You're his soulmate. But here? Now? You're supposed to be an enemy; you're part of the Federation. He's not even supposed to let you live. But he's definitely not gonna let you die.

and keegan number 2: keegan in the cold-- with medic!reader. warning: keegan is mean.

"Why would you say that?" "Because I want you to understand who you are," Keegan hisses. "You can't handle using a gun because you're scared. You can't tell Hesh how you feel because you know he'd reject you. You'd be dead if I hadn't pulled you to safety. You're nothing without me. You're pathetic." You keep your mouth shut until the sting from his words fades. What he's saying isn't true. He's pissed and looking for control wherever he can get it because that's the kind of bastard he is. You will your voice to soften from anger into condescension. "Do you want that to be true, Keegan? Would it feed your ego?" "What I want is for you to admit that I was right," Keegan retorts, his tone growing more aggressive as you refuse to rise to the bait. "Admit that you rely on me. That without me, you'd be dead. That you're weak and pathetic and need me to be your shield. It's the truth, isn't it? Say it." "It sounds like you want it to be true." ”It sounds like you're avoiding the question.” "You want me to tell you I'm worthless?" “I want you to tell me I'm right." He leans closer, invading your personal space. "I want you to show me some gratitude for saving your life. Maybe treat me better than the dirt on the bottom of your fucking shoes." That takes you genuinely by surprise. Anger still simmers in your gut. But you tamp it down. You keep your head cool and your voice even. "Thank you, Keegan, once again," you bite out, "for saving my pathetic life. Happy?"  "Thank you isn't good enough," Keegan growls, his tone dangerously low. "Keep talking."

wip ask game / more Keegan / masterlist tag

[alicerosejensen]

I love your page so much omg. I‘m literally obsessed with your work😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Also I have this imagination in my mind going on about how Leon would try to help his girlfriend from recovering from her mental health issues since she’s always helping him. I was recently thinking about how he would react finding her not moving on the bathroom floor and trying to bring her back! I rewatched American horror stories and the scene with tate and violet in the first season episode 6 (ig?) is always in my head. I‘m still recovering from my past and my unhealthy habits and tbh recovery never felt better.

If this is too much for you or triggering please ignore this.🫶🏼❤️

I had a terrible period in my life when I was a few steps away from doing something like this in my life and unfortunately this shit often comes out. I'm not sure that such texts help me work through my psychological traumas, which were, in fact, inflicted on me and continue to be inflicted by close people who do not consider me a person, but at least such works help me to vent my pain, which I cannot permanently bury in myself.

I have been postponing this request for a long time because I was probably waiting for the right moment to write this text.

There are mentions of suicide, psychological trauma, severe self-doubt and anxiety, so if this is not acceptable to you, then please just block it.

Perhaps there is a similarity with my previous texts, but I am writing this with strong emotions now that I am trying to cope with it again.

the text is chaotic, I repeat, written while I was under the influence of strong heavy emotions. Maybe I'll delete it later, when my brain gets back to normal a little bit.

If a songbird doesn't sing well, they wring its neck.

Maybe it was the costs of Leon's profession and the result of his constant missions, after which something human is gradually dying in him despite the constant struggle to save everyone. Raccoon City was supposed to teach, if not to survive, then make him begin to understand that some are doomed to die.

Leon Kennedy was taught not to offend, but to protect the weak, especially weak women. But it is difficult to calm the flow of disordered thoughts and put aside the fear that has seized him in order to clamp bloody wrists and apply something to them to stop the blood. Leon knew many strong women: Ada was perhaps the first among them, he did not know either her past or her real name, only the present that pushed their foreheads against each other; Claire, a fighting friend of misfortune that he met in that ill-fated city; Ashley, who turned from a baby eagle into a proud eagle; Angela Miller and others…

Your strength dissolves in the water, coloring it scarlet while your heart stubbornly still beats, let the rhythm noticeably shorten.

In truth, over the past few months it became clear that this was the only way out. When even your loved ones considered you an expired product and did not hesitate to remember this and remind you every time. In the end, their words turned into an obsessive worm that settled in your head, slowly day after day, month after month, devouring you and the circumstances seemed to be not in your favor. Instead of support, you somehow faced reproach, as if the universe was screaming that you were an wrong person, nature's mistake who had no right to live.

Escape attempts were doomed to failure. At first you tried to suppress it in yourself, helping Leon, because, in your opinion, he was the only one who had the right to complain about life, although he did not do this in front of you, because everyone said that you had no problems: you have everything limbs, there are no fatal diseases, all loved ones are healthy and there is a roof over your head, as if this is enough to not fall for nonsense and not walk around forever with a sad face.

This was the last time you shared your experiences. You didn’t even bother telling Leon, but everything inside was torn from constant pain. The feeling was as if you were being beaten by two extremes that led you to the edge of an abyss where you ultimately voluntarily jumped.

no, you really loved him, it was just other people’s words and your own speculation that convinced you, despite your strong relationship with him, that Leon would find someone better, someone more confident in himself, someone who would not be you because you had already missed the chance for a good life because it moved too slowly. Ultimately, a couple of sips of alcohol with sleeping pills and a sharp blade in his hands simply promised to correct the mistake in the form of you with your own hands.

You didn't have the courage to do it any other way.

But you really didn’t think that if you could try to open up to your loved one, you would meet support and not condemnation. Perhaps in a mad world he would be the only one who would heal your wounds as you healed him in your time. Leon clenched his teeth, feeling tears flowing down cheeks, seeing these crimson stains, when he pulled your body out of the bath, holding you close to him, repeating “I’m holding you. It's allright"

He so carefully laid you on his lap, managing to pull out a first aid kit and then bandages to tightly, albeit carelessly, wrap them around your wrist in order to somehow stop the bleeding. At least you were still breathing, thereby giving him hope that everything could still be fixed. the darkness and emptiness came to life, calling in a whisper to dissolve into eternal silence where there is no pain or condemnation. Your body will be in a grave under a gray stone, while the remains of your soul will float like a small grain of sand in infinity.

For Leon, everything happens in a fog; he tried more than once to save people, but he had no right to lose in this battle, even if you yourself surrendered to death. Shaking his head, brushing away the tears, he wrapped your body in a large terry towel, kissed your temple and picked you up, trying to somehow warm you, pressing you closer to him. the ability to provide first aid in the field and pull suicides out of the other world is not the same thing. Leon would have thanked God if he had believed in him, convinced that blood loss was the least of the evils that you had caused yourself, until he saw the remains of some substance at the bottom of the glass that stood on the table along with an almost full bottle of alcohol.

You really didn't give him a chance.

The ambulance took several minutes, which seemed like an eternity. In fact, Leon wasn't sure if it was worth trying to make you vomit when you'd already lost so much blood that it was already seeping through the bandages. Surely you would need a transfusion and Leon is ready to give you all his blood if only you would wake up. Holding his breath, he carefully looked at your chest, watching whether you were breathing and fortunately, your heart was still beating, slowly, but it was still fighting for life.

He stroked you on the head, kissed you, promised that he would take you somewhere else, quiet, where no one would dare to offend you, even if it was your family. You could have just asked him for help, just cuddled up to him and he would have protected you from other people’s attacks, but you preferred to remain silent. Kennedy was tired of waiting for the medical staff to let him in, although relatives should be allowed to see the patient first, but the position of a government agent sometimes had its advantages, and they concerned not only the high salary. When he was let in to you, it seemed to him that you had become half your size while you were lying on the bed, curled up under the blanket. It didn’t work out to pull off a beautiful suicide, which meant that soon angry relatives would come here with new sweat of bile especially for you. They won’t care about your feelings, but Leon sat down next to you, trying not to intrude too much into the space in which you imprisoned yourself, as if this blanket cocoon could be a separate world where you could hide. He spoke to you carefully, hating himself for not being able to understand in time what was wrong with your behavior; perhaps if he had been more attentive to you, the incident could have been avoided. You would see a psychotherapist, take a course of medication, and your environment would definitely be taken care of.

You cry, not letting him come to you, hating how you weren't just left to die and how much you hate this world. Hysteria after hysteria, nervous breakdown after nervous breakdown, in the hospital you repeatedly tried to commit suicide, but the attentive staff managed to prevent this before you inflicted fatal injuries on yourself, and if after some time Leon still managed to carefully break through your armor, then your loved ones This did not concern relatives in principle. You only allowed one person to visit you while you were undergoing psychological treatment and you behaved calmer and calmer, listening to the velvety words that soon all this would be behind you.

“We’ll go home soon,” Leon smiled, gently holding your hand and kissing your forehead, just glad that you’re alive, that you’re breathing and that your psycho-emotional state is slowly but improving. “You know, I have a surprise for you, I think you’ll like it when we get home.”

Soon what happened will become another nightmare in his life, a blessing with a good ending, but for the sake of this happy ending, Kennedy is ready to descend into hell at least every day.

You nod at him and smile a little, fearing that the gift is some kind of party on the occasion of your discharge. In fact, the last thing you want is to see someone’s faces, especially those who diligently hammered into your head how insignificant you are. Why do you even hope that the doctor will postpone your discharge, but the plans for your further treatment were completely different.

On the other hand, after taking antidepressants and psychological help in a special medical institution, how many men are ready to stay with their girlfriends who have been there for several months? For Leon, it seems this was not a significant problem, or he simply carefully did not show it. However, there were no parties, no calls, you simply returned now to his home where there were new interior items. it became somehow more comfortable... but something else surprised you.

Puppy. A small puppy of a couple of months old ran towards you and Leon to meet both of them, but stopped and began sniffing your shoes, while something thawed in your heart.

“Animals seem to help us well, They feel when we feel bad, it seems to me a good idea to get us a little companion,” Leon said quietly, stroking your back while you were busy with the puppy, rejoicing at the little living soul who will love you with the same pure and devoted love.

Ultimately it should have a happy ending too. Leon is ready to go to great lengths so that his beloved songbird starts smiling and singing happy songs again, even if it is necessary to remove other birds from her family who sleep and see how to pluck all her wings again.

You and he also have a chance for a happy ending.

[hectorthedoggo]

oh yeah so i was slightly delirious earlier and i made this on impulse. oh boy. why did god give me a writing ability

“Pick up the knife.”

Is this fuckass creature serious? They stared at the knife, which had the Milgram logo emblazoned on it. Bro that shit’s ugly, I ain’t killing myself on that.

Seriously, who the hell designed this logo? I’m finna join Amane’s cult, at least the branding looks somewhat artistic.

Damn, wait, I can’t, she’s dead. I don’t know why the hell the voices voted everyone guilty this trial.

“C’mon, Es, let’s end this.”

Bro wants this to be symbolistic. “Um… you first?”

“What?” Jackalope was surprised by their sudden resistance. “Es, I’m still the keeper of this place. This isn’t a double suicide, it’s just you who’s supposed to die.”

“Pussy.” A word that Yuno often called Futa. It was fitting for the situation.

“What. I’m a male jackalope, what-”

Es was tempted to throw the knife at him, to let the intrusive thoughts win, but they assured themself, I’ll do that later. With more planning.

Mf killed all of my prisoners, I ain’t letting him leave this alive. I’m going out with a bang, and I’m gonna take him down with me.

If I gotta die, Milgram’s gonna die with me.

Es was a bad-

Shut, you.

WIth the power of the fourth wall, they somehow bit the voice. Wanting to die really brought out another side of people.

(The person behind the voice was sent to the hospital due to the bacteria from their bites. This child might have gotten rabies, somehow.)

They grabbed the knife, which Jackalope let out a sigh of relief. “Okay… okay! Es, c’mon, if you want to be a good warden, then just end it now.”

Es stared back at him, and grinned. They started to abruptly maniacly laugh, which scared the shit out of Jackalope. “I’m already a horrible warden; my prisoners died for crimes they didn’t deserve.”

“I- but that’s what you-”

“I have different standards than the voices. Those weren’t my verdicts.” Es broke the fourth wall again, threatening to give rabies to anyone who dared question their truth.

“Es, just-”

“The people have decided.”

“Who-”

“Chat GPT Chair oomf and crab.”

“Es. what the fuck are you talking about.”

They stared directly into the camera. “T H E Y  know exactly whan I’m talking about. They have given your guilty verdict.”

His eyes widened, as he realized what they were talking about.

“Die.” Es grabbed the knife, and immediately killed the rabbit.

His hat fell off, revealing his horns to be fake. Lmao.

They stabbed him more times than necessary. Their uniform was completely bloodstained; they were essentially a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Wolf analogies… would Kotoko be proud of me? I’ll meet her in hell ig.

They giggled like a maniac, and got kidnapped by an angel like a cat being picked up by its scruff because the author is tired of making Es kts / attempt. (this is totally not foreshadowing)

Why the hell am I in heaven? Girl I swore enough to kill an army of faries.

Despite their confustion, they lived happily ever after. Not many to none of the prisoners were in heaven with them. 

I cannot disclose who wasn’t in heaven due to wishing to not be cancelled.

The End.

[shiorilizzy]

My thoughts about Wriothesley

Literally my thoughts about him, and his personality when I play the game.

He had a wonderful childhood, before he knew the truth. He thought he was the lucky child in the world, had been adopted and lived happily with silbling.

Based on his personality when we get close to him (and his sense of humor), I think he used to be a talkative child. Not the energetic one but the one who has a positive, extrovert vibe. I can image Wriothesley, in the past, giving newcomers a sweet and encouraging smile while walking them around the house.

So well-behaved *sob*

His smile used to be so pure and sweet, kind. I think in a normal life, Wriothesley could be a kind entrepreneur or a nice, helpful officer. He is easy-going and willing to help others.

So when he knew the truth, it devasted him. Imagine your dear parents, your saviors, your most loved ones, you used to swear that you would protect them when you grow up, but actually use you like livestock. He would feel like a clown. He was furious from the betrayal. I’m sure it ruins every memory, warm feeling of him about childhood. I can imagine how struggling he was (or is) to endure the thought that his dear memory was nothing but fake.

Think about a lively teenager who suddenly lost everything. He couldn’t rely on anybody or anything. He must be angry so much. Why now? Why did they lie? Why they were careless to let him know the truth? Why?

I think Wriothesley, sometimes, just sometimes, wishes that he could die without knowing the truth. So he could remain as a pure boy who had a beautiful childhood.

But nothing can undo, his memory about his childhood now was stained by the dirty truth. He may talk about his past with ease now but it still bothers him.

After all those years, he still healing and comforting his wounds. He avoids touching it or digs deeper into it. He even doesn’t connect with any of his “silblings”, knowing that helping them could hurt him more.

Living in the fortress taught him that everyone has their own story, their own reason, well most of them. So do his “parents”, but he doesn’t want to understand that, he doesn’t want to empathize with them. If he does, who will empathize with him? Who will bring back his pure childhood to him? Who will let him have a life as a “clean profile” citizen? No one. So just let him despite them.

 That’s why he went himself to the criminal house in the teaser. He wants to protect that child’s world so she can live a happy life, unlike him. When that girl gets older, she will understand her father's guilt.

Although Wriothesley is an easy and sassy guy, he will bonk whoever tells children that Santa Clause isn’t real.

Overall, Wriothesley is deeply hurt and he is trying his best to heal that trauma. I know every character in Genshin has an unforgettable past but hyv did really well at Wriothesley’s. I can feel his pain and struggle through every single line. (or maybe because I like him too much ig lmao)

Wriothesley is smart with craft things. If whoever plays Tears of Themis, you will understand what I mean. Wriothesley plays with materials just like Luke. We can bring him a broken clock and he will fix it as if his hobby. Maybe he will even add more functions to that clock lmao. (Something like an alarm when is tea-time).

Wriothesley admits that he has trust issues and most of his friends are not human. I guess they are Melusines. They may be weird a little bit and cannot understand or act like humans, but Wriothesley can trust them since they are not as greedy as humans

As a happy boy he used to be, Wriothesley loves playing =))) He enjoys his daytime with many entertainment. He will delay work till night if it’s not urgent. He is smart enough to be lazy.

One more reason is he wants to sleep faster. If he does the work at night, it will drain his energy. As soon as he flops on the bed, he falls asleep. Better if he is tired enough that he can’t even dream of anything. He doesn’t want to sleep alone in bed, thinking about his life, past life.

Omg please Wrio let me hug you. I will pamper you into sleep every night QAQ.

Lmao he has a sweet tooth. I thought he likes the bitterness of the tea when I heard that he drinks it usually until I see this. Ptff men are just bigger boys.

[one-hell-of-otaku-is-here]

If I can stop one heart from breaking.... is part of the real poem (HSR analysis)

alright so by this time we all know about famous song from HSR and ya we all cried but do you all know this title is actually verse taken from the poem by Emily Dickinson

AND I SWEAR IT WAS DONE INTENTIONALLY - SPOILER ALERT FOR HSR 2.0:

Now I am gonna share poem with yall and youll see why:

If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain;

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain.

THE FUCKING ROBIN IS MENTIONED IN THE POEM HAHAHAH (yes you can cry now. this poem IS ROBINS POEM FR FRF) oh but I am not done yet... do you want to know what is the main theme behind this short poem? I am gonna quote from litcharts:

"If I can prevent one broken heart, my life will have been worth living. If I can alleviate one person's suffering or soothe one person's pain—or even help a single helpless robin that has fallen out of its nest—my life will have been worth living."

Basically this means that if I share even a little bit of kidness to this robin, represented by Firefly (by Trailblazer) and Robin (represented by Sunday) then even if life gives me suffering and I "fall from the nest" (aka die in this POV), my life would have been worth living BECAUSE I have found one true friend in this cruel world who gave me reason enough to live. Ofc this poem reflects and relates to both characters who died in Penacony - Robin (singer of the song) and Firefly (mysterious girl). And Hoyo knew what they were doing (and now both Trailblazer and Sunday have something in common Ig, they are both speaker of the poem)

Now I leave you to sink it all in. youre welcome and happy tears.

"In any case, the poem implies that hardship is a kind of universal truth—an unavoidable part of being alive. But just because suffering is a fact of life doesn't mean there's nothing people can do about it."

Let us see what Trailblazer (and Sunday let's not forget my man) can do about this. Now they know no life is safe from harm and theyd have to learn how to accept it (and not see world in black and white as Galaxy Ranger implied) and not let revenge (if it comes and I am sure it will) consume them from inside.

[f4y3w00d5]

And to finish up for the night here is my brief description of Every Song in Danger Days: True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys, by My Chemical Romance

Okay so basically  this is their most recent album, 2014, and it follows the Killjoys as they fight against BL.IND (Better Living Industries) who seek to ELIMINATE all  individuality. (Spoiler: They die saving The Girl in the music video for SING) 

Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na) - 

Upbeat!!! Dancing!!! Fast!!! You jump around screaming about doing crime and partying and sex!!! I love it!!! (you should listen to it after Look Alive Sunshine, which is the intro to the album and its just Dr D speaking, and at the start of Na Na Na, it goes ‘THE FUTURE IS BULLETPROOF! THE AFTERMATH IS SECONDARY!! TIME TO DO IT NOW AND DO IT LOUD! KILLJOYS, MAKE SOME NOISE!!!’) 

Bulletproof Heart 

Uh so this is sorta less fast and stuff but its SO cool and idk how to describe it but its sorta jaunty? First song I listened to by the band!!! (Fav part is ‘and tho, I know, how much you hate this. Are you gonna be the one to save us? From. The black. And hope-less feelin. Will you meet ‘em when the end comes reelin? Hold, your heart, into this darkness. Will it ever be the light to shine you out? Or fail. And leave you stranded? I aint gonna be the one left standin. You aint gonna be the one left standin, and we aint gonna be the ones left standin!!!’) 

SING 

Aaaaaaaaa this ones so cool, took a bit to grow on me, its mostly slow and repetitive but the BRIDGE ‘Cleaned up corporations PROGRESS! Dyin in the PROCESS! Children that can TALK ABOUT IT livin on the WEB-WAYS, people movin SIDEWAYS, sell it til your LAST DAYS, buy yourself the motivation GENERATION NOTHIN! Nothing but a DEAD SCENE! Product of a WHITE DREAM! I am not the SINGER THAT YOU WANTED BUT A DANCER! I REFUSE TO ANSWER! TALK ABOUT THE PAST SIR! WROTE IT FOR THE ONES WHO WANNA GET AWAY! ……. Keep runnin.’ 

Planetary (GO!)  

Okay so like omg. I love this one. Everythings amazin. Starts off slightly slow, and then starts movin faster around the verses? AND THE VIBES!!! Ive got a few favs and ill save them here (I love the way theyre said too-) ‘Ladies and gentleman, truth is now acceptable! Fame! Is now injectable, PROCESS THE PROGRESS, This core is critical, faith is un-a-vail-a-ble, Lives, become incredible-‘ and also ‘Youre unbelievable, ah, so unbelievable, ah, you ruin everything, oh, you better GO HOME! Im unbelievable yeah, im undefeatable yeah, LETS RUIN EVERYTHIN, BLAST IT TO THE BACK ROW- they sell presentable, young! And so ingestible! Sterile and collectable! SAFE, and I cant STAND THAT! This is a letter, by word, is the beretta, the sound, of my vendetta against, the ones that PLANNED IT!’ So uhhhhhhhhh yeah lol 

The Only Hope For Me Is You 

Likeeeeeeeee holy SHIT this one just sorta- idkkkk- ‘Where? Where were you when, all of the embers fell? I still remember them… covered in ash. Covered in glass. Covered in all my friends, I still… think of the bombs they built- IF THERES A PLACEEE THAT I COULD BE, THEN ID BE ANOTHERR MEMORY, CAN I BE THE ONLY HOPE FOR YOU? BECAUSE YOURE THE ONLY HOPE FOR ME! AND IF WE CAN FIND WHERE  WE BELONG, WE’ll Have To make It on our own!! Face all the painnn and takeee it on, because the only hope for me, is you alone…’ its one of the slower ones tho 

Party Poison 

This one starts in Japanese for some reason??? Its hard to explain… another fast and dancy type one ig, but sorta raw-er?  Its sooooooo weird- not one of my favs but its semi popular 

Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back 

Okay so idk how to describe this really- sorta gives Only Hope type thing but faster and sorta rockier? Idk. My fav parts tho!!! ‘Get offfff the ledge, and drop the knife… Not a victim of a victims life! Because… this aint a room fullla suicides- WE’RE BELIEVERSS I BELIEVE TONIGHT-‘  OH AND ONE OF THE MORE POPULAR LINES PEOPLE KNOW ‘Ill tell you well how the story ends, where the good guys die and the bad guys win… (WHO CARES?)- THIS AINT ABOUT ALL THE FRIENDS YOU MADE, BUT THE GRAFFITII THEY WRITE ON YOUR GRAVE-‘ then the last two ‘Im the only friend that makes you cry! Youre a heart attack in black hair dye! So just save yourself, and Ill hold them back tonight….’ And ‘We can live forever if you’ve got the time- YOU MOTHERFUCKER (OHHHWHOAAAA) Youre the broken glass in the mornin light! Be a burnin’ star if it takes all night!’ 

S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W 

OHOHOH APPARENTLY THIS ONE IS TO SOOTHE THE KIDS WHEN THE NUCLEAR BOMBS HIT AND GET THEM INTO THE SHELTER!!! (yes there are nuclear bombs, its post apocalyptic lmao) I love the bridge- ‘Love, love, love wont stop this bomb, bomb, love wont stop this bomb, bomb, love wont stop this… bomb……. Run, run, bunny, run. Run, run, bunny ruuuuuuuuuuun’ One of the slowest in the album also 

Summertime 

Okay so this is prolly my fav? Idk how to describe it tbh….. I know what it describes for me buuuut you don’t wanna hear me be weird about people……. Ill just tell you my fav parts (that I relate to!!!) ‘Terrified of what I’d be, as a kid from what Ive seen… Every single day when people try and put the pieces back together, just to smash them down… turn my headphones up real loud…. I don’t think I need them now…. Cos you stop the noise!!!’ 

DESTROYA 

………………fucked up robot song where you scream and moan. What else is there to say? (the porn bots In the story worship a ‘god’ called Destroya who will supposedly come save them) 

The Kids From Yesterday 

I love this one too. Sorta slow ig. Nostalgic maybe? ‘Well now, this could be the last of all the rides we take…. So hold on tight and don’t look back……… we don’t care about the message or the rules they make…. Ill find you when the sun goes black…..’ 

Vampire Money 

Dance!!! Sex!! Upbeat!!! Fast!!! ‘Three two one, we came to FUCK-‘ and my other fav line ‘and get your finger on the trigger tap the barrel of the gun! Hair back, motherfucker, jet black, SO COOL-‘ 

@terrencetheshark14 you might be interested in my weird ass mcr related ramblings

[snifflesthemouse]

The press will never touch something that is so widely spoken about in the world and online... eventually, the voices will get so loud they'll have no choice.

I cannot deny something is wrong with the pregnancy situation in the sense of secrecy.

This author finds no fault or issue with using surrogacy; in fact, had Meghan used a surrogate, it would've been revolutionary for changing stigma surrounding adoption and surrogacy. But... they made it seem all shameful and dirty.

There is a chance she was pregnant, that she wasn't big enough as she wanted to show off, and she pulled the equivalent of stuffing her bra with her bump. But I don't buy that... here's why.

I've had 3 live births, 1 miscarriage, and yes, one abortion. It was either me or having a malformed child who would die anyway with me. That's weird... it's the first time I've said that out loud. It hurt more than I expected... but this author isn't here for that discussion...

I know personally, as do many women out there, that you CANNOT PHYSICALLY do certain things. We've all seen the pops and the photos. I swear... it's like she thought she could pull it off like Harry was that dumb. After the 4th month, anyone close would know what's up.

You don't have to be a mother or a woman even... if a corncob pipe had eyes, and Meghan Markle was literally anyone else... the press would've eaten this alive.

How crazy it must be to be sued by them while knowing that what you could really put out would literally break the cornerstone of Monarchy.

Charles, Meghan, if you read this... listen up (we all know they don't, but I like to pretend.):

One of y'all will bluff. Charles, it best come from you when the truth comes. Meghan has cut you off every announcement and even has her family working to undermine your Coronation... you're about to find out. Narcissism forces the hand... the saying "I'd rather cut off my moon bump to spite my father in law instead of continuing this charade" will be historical. Jk jk

Who is running these folks' PR teams? Because the longer the Queen is gone, the more that good will toward Monarchy dies. Charles is compliant.

This right here was taken from IG... it's right in our faces. It may not be true, these specific children may not be them. But the fact this has gone on for YEARS with no more than a peep from press... well remember Beyonce?

My eyes do not deceive me. Your eyes do not. We cannot deny there is something off. And I'm convinced it will destroy the Monarchy if not handled with care.

Yet another road trip, but I'll be getting to my messages and all this morning, no later than this evening.

[yellowymellon]

Thanks for murdering my brain hoyo now I'll proceed to revive it by talking abt last cutscene so spoilers ahead :

So now we learned that Gallagher is actually...13 years old....I think it was pretty straightforward since Sunday said that he was a combination of all the family members, and as we know with the npc Lesley, that's very much possible, especially if he was made of memories, as long as there's something keeping Gallagher's consciousness together.

Edit : I'm sure if anything Gallagher has lived for 13 years in this form not that he was born 13 years ago, cuz u know, if he was friends with Mikhail he can't actually be just 13

Ig it also makes more sense now for Gallagher to address Sunday as "big brother" whatever tf that meant, I initially thought Sunday was one of the many "children" of the watchmaker but that can't be true since he was adopted by the dream master, I'm sure he'd limit his contact with the watchmaker and even nurture his hatred towards him

Anyway...we learned that robin technically did actually die in the dream yet she's still alive, aventurine planning on doing the same as her and going to the place beyond the harmony's walls. firefly supposedly died the same way as robin, from her letter she said that she was going to meet the meme. Firefly being a stellaron hunter could posses some knowledge or well elio would know of the Truth beyond penacony, that's how she came back from death. I think all of the deaths are legit, as in, it was *real* inside the fabricated dream, but you can come back just like firefly and Robin did. I believe Sunday knew who firefly was and that she was alive but for some reason believed robin didn't escape death the same way? Maybe it was shock or grief but in any case..

all I'm saying is Sunday already knew of Gallagher's connection to the meme and allowed him to venture deep into dewlight pavilion, my dear Sunday, I trust you are smart enough to foresee the danger and not leave your back exposed, it's the situation and the circumstances you wanted after all

On a side note I'm happy aven talked to the npcs we already talked to! And that he is getting character development AS the story progresses, we don't see that in genshin much so I'm glad hsr is different.

I was just getting happy Abt IX lore n tiny elio crumbs but u did it shaoji u did it....I'm coming after u

[thegeminisage]

WELL. it is time for the final tng update (until the movies ig). last night we watched the series finale, "all good things" parts i & ii.

all good things (not differentiating parts):

my main takeaway from this episode is that they somehow managed to bring back tasha yar, only to 1. have her do absolutely nothing 2. die again?? they have killed tasha yar three times. hat trick for dead tasha yar

second takeaway: old people makeup. i couldn't find any gifs for this episode because when you go in the tag they're all just comparisons with picard the show. which IS kind of fun, admittedly. losers in the old people makeup department: riker. winners: beverly. hers was kinda hot ngl. milf.

conceptually this episode kind of fucked. like, three eras of having to be in the same place, coordinating stuff over 4D space via rapid shifting...that's cool. there was a cool episode buried in here somewhere. i think the problem was 1. it took way too long to figure out what was going on 2. the three eras in question were season 1 of tng (bad), season 7 of tng (also bad), and tng 25 bad future. i have lots to say about the bad future in a sec but let's not get distracted. because all of these eras were bad, it wasn't very exciting to be coordinating stuff across them. i TOTALLY understand the temptation to bookend the show by going back to the pilot, but the sad truth is the pilot was AWFUL. q has largely been annoying and the trial was one of his MORE annoying appearances.

on the bad future: worf and riker fighting over deanna being DEAD somehow and us not getting any more information was pretty awful, especially since they sort of seemed to be having a fight about deanna in the present-day too. i don't like them fighting over her but i REALLY thing the deanna/worf was so rushed...riker is normally so chill too, it doesn't make any sense. plus it's absolutely bonkers that picard came back and DIDNT warn deanna she had 5 years to live. come on!!!

if geordi really grew back his eyes bc of the anomaly, why are they blue in the future? they look like prosthetics or something. also can't we just give him brown eyes cmon. also, it's SICK AND DISGUSTING they married him to leah. i like geordi, but his thing w women made liking him difficult, so thanks for reminding us of his absolute WORST moment right as we're saying goodbye to him forever

someone on the aos team did not do their research. romulus was destroyed in 2387, and the last season of tng is in 2370. that means this future era took place in 2395, eight years after romulus was destroyed. it would have been such an easy thing to avoid, too. you could have simply had spock and nero travel back from 2395 instead of 2387. like it's that easy. NOTHING would have to change except a number. this isn't even tng's fault like how could they know what crimes that man would commit. this is all on him. i like the aos movies but girl what the hell

wins for the future: data crazy cat lady. and everyone gaslighting picard. and beverly being soooo hot

the problem w this future is that it doesn't say anything about anyone except "you guys drifted apart without the mission to hold you together and forgot you needed each other." actually, it didn't say that second part, though i wished it had. the episode was also a bit muddied in that respect...like, what did it episode SAY about those three eras, other than "don't stop being friends later"? what did it SAY about picard and his crew? this is the finale, and there weren't any goodbyes or big character moments for anybody except picard, who had to have his big character moment in the fucking farpoint courtroom.

we did get canon worf/deanna and picard/beverly but she TURNED HIM DOWN EARLIER and only started macking on him when she found out she might die (just in time to get herself on the will and no that's not my joke). STAY STRONG...YOU DON'T NEED HIM...beverly crusher, i could be your man.

in a final act of hilarity, at the very end, picard INVITED HIMSELF TO CARDS. while i am always thrilled for poker games, and was feeling a genuine emotion about the last scene being a poker game, the profound silence when picard showed up at the door really dragged me out of it. "you were always welcome" HE LITERALLY TRIED TO DO THIS ONCE AND YOU GUYS THOUGHT IT WAS WEIRD

oh yeah. final note. can't believe they pussied out of shearing jonathan frakes for that flashback section. they just photoshop magicked that shit. it was clever, but it was cowardly

i really wish s7 of tng had been good...we had a few good ones near the beginning but the ones near the end were ALL duds. i could have forgiven so many crimes if we had gone out on a high note. tng WAS very good sometimes. i know they had it in them. unfortunately they generally chose to be ass instead, and as a result tng went out the way it came in: in the very worst courtroom scene in the entire world. rest in pieces.

NEXT TIME: ds9's "tribunal" and "the jem'hadar."

[vibrantestvixen]

LOVE LETTER FROM THE AFTERLIFE

by Andrea Gibson (ig: @andreagibson)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Andrea Gibson (@andreagibson)

----

My love, I was so wrong. Dying is the opposite of leaving. When I left my body, I did not go away. That portal of light was not a portal to elsewhere, but a portal to here. I am more here than I ever was before. I am more with you than I ever could have imagined. So close you look past me when wondering where I am. It’s Ok. I know that to be human is to be farsighted. But feel me now, walking the chambers of your heart, pressing my palms to the soft walls of your living. Why did no one tell us that to die is to be reincarnated in those we love while they are still alive? Ask me the altitude of heaven, and I will answer, “How tall are you?” In my back pocket is a love note with every word you wish you’d said. At night I sit ecstatic at the loom weaving forgiveness into our worldly regrets. All day I listen to the radio of your memories. Yes, I know every secret you thought too dark to tell me, and love you more for everything you feared might make me love you less. When you cry I guide your tears toward the garden of kisses I once planted on your cheek, so you know they are all perennials. Forgive me, for not being able to weep with you. One day you will understand. One day you will know why I read the poetry of your grief to those waiting to be born, and they are all the more excited. There is nothing I want for now that we are so close I open the curtain of your eyelids with my own smile every morning. I wish you could see the beauty your spirit is right now making of your pain, your deep seated fears playing musical chairs, laughing about how real they are not. My love, I want to sing it through the rafters of your bones, Dying is the opposite of leaving. I want to echo it through the corridor of your temples, I am more with you than I ever was before.  Do you understand? It was me who beckoned the stranger who caught you in her arms when you forgot not to order for two at the coffee shop. It was me who was up all night gathering sunflowers into your chest the last day you feared you would never again wake up feeling lighthearted. I know it’s hard to believe, but I promise it’s the truth. I promise one day you will say it too– I can’t believe I ever thought I could lose you.

[thxnks4themrms]

Littleeee rant about a news story I found about animal abuse under the cut

tw mentions of animal abuse, animal neglect, animal harm, and mentions of animal death

Okay so like idfk if yall have seen, but recently there’s been a story going around about a girl in her early 30s neglecting a cat of 10 years

So like basically the story ig is that she got her cat when she was 24 bc she was just desperate and lonely and then when she got to 30 and met her husband or something. Her cat took a disliking to the husband and the chick didn’t like that but it gets really bad after the lady gives birth. So the lady gives birth and whatever else and because of that postpartum, shit she’s like all upset with the cat and just overall finds the cat annoying and is putting her husband and her baby first. Overtime she really really gets annoyed with it and starts neglecting. She starts like going into detail about how she’d want to kick it (or kicked it I forgot), not feed it so it’d have to find anything to eat which resulted in it eating houseplants, and literally forget to put water in its water bowl so it had to drink out of the fucking toilet. She then went into detail about how she’d want the cat to just die and that’d she’d try to do things to lead it to its death

I might’ve skipped over some parts but I kinda just wanna rant about how like that’s a highkey really selfish thing to do. First of all, at her GROWN ASS AGE OF 34 she should know better than to do that. Animals are literally living organism just like humans with hearts and brains and pretty much the same muscles/intestines/organs as us (as far as ik) so they’re not some fucking doll. I feel like most animal abuse cases are because of people wanting a pet just because they feel like it but don’t consider long term things. You can’t just treat it like a toy because it literally is not and that’s a truth that sadly a lot of people don’t understand. I understand that the girl just gave birth and all and ik that’s tiring and shit and I don’t wanna be on her ass especially after carrying a whole ass person but dude there’s your husband who can take care of it as well. I don’t understand how you forget to feed and give your pet water when they need it just as much as you do. Tbh I don’t know how she even lives with the guilt of knowing she put her baby first over her older cat. Ik I say this a lot but one of my biggest fears is death - ig for me it’s like the pain that comes from it but if I really start to think of it Ik that once I’m dead I’m not gonna feel anything so ig it’s just the pain that comes before it. Death of my pets though is such a sensitive topic for me cause I just wanna keep them for as long as I can because ik that they’re not gonna be here forever and that I’m practically their entire lives. If you can’t take care of an animal, especially a cat, then how in gods fucking name do you think you’ll be able to take care of a fucking child. If you can’t take care of an animal you don’t leave it to die or lead it to its death, you take it to a fucking shelter. I’d rather it be adopted and taken care of with a different family for however longer it has left than to be found dead all because you got tired of it

Anyways chat sorry for ranting I just got really sick thinking about this and like I just find that subject to be really upsetting and gross and I just needed to yap about it somewhere

I lowkey forgot the name of the cat and other stuff so sorry that I’m referring to it as “it” 😭

Um also there’s like a ton of articles about it but I can’t find any that are free if you don’t have a subscription to the news company but you can check on TikTok cuz there’s like a ton of ss and the full story there so I’d totally read it

[unlimitedhorsepower]

my thoughts on t&b2 cour2 summarized ngl

huge massive spoilers under the cut:

(following is half copied from me telling this to people who dont know t&b lore)

im genuinely inconsolable over yuri and what happened to him.

its not even that he could or should be saved but he truly deserved something better. killing people... who cares... on-screen his murders have notably included a serial rapist for example which isnt said ig but it was a guy who only kills women he picks up at a club etc...

killing your abusive father and then going on to kill murderers and serial killers isnt a crime he had to pay for with his own life jesus christ. he was a victim in that. and i dont care hes killed people they had it coming and deserved to fucking explode.

and he dies so miserable and alone. and the truth about mr.legend didnt even come out. i guess it might, but it wasnt shown on-screen and i dont care. he never lived to see it. i cant believe it im actually just bawling.

his last scenes gratuitously consisted of his body being controlled by someone else, and before that happened his mother was shot to death. and he hallucinated his shit dad and the hallucination was like i can never be forgiven but youve followed your own sense of justice. goodbye.

yuri begged for the hallucination to not to leave him but even a hallucination of his shit dad couldnt stay to make him feel marginally better because he just didnt want to be alone.

so, alone and miserable, he bawled on the floor on top of the bloodstain where his mother was shot by the criminals who broke into his house.

and he told about his past to kotetsu&barnaby and kotetsu even himself acknowledged he said things yuri probably didnt want to hear. AND YEAH he was kind of a huge fucking dick i dont care what you had to say about mr.legend (he didnt defend him and condemned him but he was like ill definitely never be like him etc)

then in the end yuri stood alone, bleeding to death, after having given the rest of his strength to protect the protags of course, and they half-heartedly tried to convince him to come down from there. but the narrative had no kindness left for yuri whatsoever, only a dramatic moment of him breaking his mask while blood pooled around him.

so he just said hes following his own code of justice, and he earlier acknowledged its not the voice of thanatos he follows but his own voice. and then he pressed his hand on his chest and set himself on fire and jumped down.literally it was worse than if he had just died.

he burnt himself to death and literally enacted my metaphors about him being born from ashes (awful childhood, killing his father with fire) and returning to ashes once he has burned himself up. but it was literal.

and since his mother died... and only kotetsu and barnaby know his story... its so incredibly cruel and callous. he literally disappeared, like his life didnt matter, and he didnt even leave a body behind. mr.legend still has all those mythos around him, and what yuri got was to be a footnote in the line of judicial officials of sternbild and vigilantes killed in action.

im actually devastated. he never got a single piece of happiness.

one of his last interactions as yuri was kotetsu telling him that he will never become like mr.legend because he has a partner like barnaby.

how i understand his last actions is that yuri accepted hes fully alone, and will be alone, forever. he has nobody to support him like kotetsu has, and will never have it, hes too broken, too far gone.

and so, he had to die because there was no saving him. he killed himself for that, because he had no hope left. he thought he could never be forgiven, like his father could never be forgiven, but what yuri ever did was never in any way equal to being evil. to have him equated to anything mr.legend did (within the narrative) is unimaginably horrifying.

im like genuinely just crying i WISH i was joking saying that but im not. im trying to make it into a joke but i cant im just genuinely devastated.

like i know any depth i made up for ryan in my mind is my bad because i think about him way too hard but i was a little disappointed in his actions but thats whatever, my expectations were high since hes my favourite, right?

it wasnt even that bad, im just disappointed he mostly got to interact with karina which i really enjoy as well they have a funny dynamic, but i like him so im like oh! theres sooo much more to him hehe. but again, whatever, hes out there, i can imagine him doing whatever i want. he didnt contradict anything i think of him either.

but yuri... ohhh.... taking this very personally actually. i cant believe the narrative didnt give him any mercy. it was a choice they made, to have him burn up like that.

like have i somehow thought of yuri petrov way too hard?... im just devastated. he was a sympathetic character, i never have ever considered for a single moment he could DIE. and in that sort of way?

did i somehow misinterpret the entire scenario? i dont even know what i couldve misunderstood to make this better in my mind. he didnt die?.. he just uhm... went bungee jumping

like the rest of the cour i liked, there were a lot of fun parts. but i just...this is something i cant get over. it felt so incredibly cruel to him, because to me he has always been the victim.

and i thought... i dont know... that he deserved better. that he deserved to feel happiness, not die feeling thoroughly miserable and alone. i cant even reasonably focus on the parts with ryan even if hes my favourite character. i wish he had died too, for equality, idfc.

i wish LL audun had smashed his head like an egg and this was the last shot i saw of him.

everyone else can “die” and then be fine i guess uh maybe ill just choose to believe yuri somehow is fine despite losing all of his blood and burning up and falling from a great height then thats my choice. they didnt show me anything that contradicts it.

which also just reminds me nobody even remembered him after his death. i thought the last shot would have him with “true heroes” and ill be honest i was crying incredibly hard thinking about yuri but i didnt see any indication he was remembered by anyone in any way.

again, this is a deliberate choice taken by the narrative and just remains so heartless.

does anyone else agree or have some other sort of take on this?! was i simply distracted by the huge amounts of yuri petrov lore i made up in my mind so that i misunderstood half of the season and also didnt see a huge memorial set up for him or something at least.

?????

cant even enjoy anything else in the cour because of how much this bothers me. i would be glad if i just had hit my head and somehow saw a different series in my mind than what everyone else saw

[bunnihearted]

umm no but rlly we are all so fucked. countless scientists and experts are saying that we are so so close to the point of no return regarding the climate crisis. we are extremely close to it and when we reach it we can never turn it back. we can only wait for the apocalypse to fully break out (it has already started). and what do all the men in power do? they relentlessly mock ppl like greta thunberg and decide to put more effort into nuclear power, and make thousands other choices detrimental to the environment. and what do ppl in society do? jack shit. environmental activists who are screaming and pleading for ppl to listen only get ridiculed, physically abused and assaulted, jailed and murdered. ppl dont listen. ppl dont care. ppl dont fucking do ANYTHING.

what we desperately need is eco fascism. the entire world need military rule, the state needs to make laws, forbidding for example the use of gasoline etc etc. we're at the point where fucking fascism is the only thing that can save this planet. bc ppl dont do anything. ppl dont care. they live their stupid fucking lives that are in this state completely insignificant because we dont have a future. in a real way. not like oh yeah in 30 years we will have killed the earth. no. now. we dont have more than a couple of years before everything's fucked. so their silly lives dont even matter. yet they refuse to fucking change. all of society all over the world (rich parts of the western world are the main culprits tho) need radical change. and it's sad but true that we can only do it by force and laws. because people just dont care enough. the sad thing is that the men in power find money in their pockets righ this second more important than our (immediate) future.

it makes no sense bc in all the dystopians i've read, the state always does something to save humanity and stop climate change. but in real life, they dont do anything. thats so crazy to me. also, everyone in the entire fucking world needs to go out there, be on the streets, REFUSE to partake in "normal life". we need to protest and demonstrate and be on strikes. if there are no cogs in the wheel turning the capitalist hell machine then they have to listen and take action. but another sad truth that shows me humanity is garbage is that nobody wants to do that. they wanna continue living their dumb little lives, only valuing their immediate comfort and luxury and privilege. like mention global warming to almost anyone and they'll roll their eyes and scoff and start ranting about how that are just conspiracy theories. we're all fucked.

it's all making me so angry and hopeless and dejected because even if all y'all wanna do is cover your ears and go lalallalala and pretend like nothing's happening, you will die and suffer too soon. no one will be spared if that's what y'all think. it's bad enough that the western world are living far beyond our resources and that other parts of the world such as south america and africa suffer environmental catastrophes bc of it. but nobody cares. bc watching netflix and ordering food and partaking in mass consumerism and working some boring soul sucking job and driving ur car every fkn where is waaaaaay more important than banding together, taking a stand and trying to fight to end our imminent destruction and murder of the planet. god. i think most part of humanity deserves what they get (NOT the ones who fight or who are completely powerless in this) but the thing is the animals and nature dont deserve it. it's all so fucked. why dont anyone wanna fucking do something???? ig all there is to do is to sit and wait and see what part of the armageddon is what kills you.

like im sorry but so many ppl are like lalallala peace on earth we can change this :D ppl are fundamentally good we believe in us lallallala peace and love ppl are so good hihiihihihihi we can still revert it. yet......... no one (besides actual environmental activists) wants to do smth real. no one is willing or prepared to radically and fundamentallty change society and the way we live. bc that will be uncomfortable and difficult but it is absolutely neccesessary. it's not enough to sit there and say that humans are so good and u love humans and there is a way to revert it. u actually have to be willing to do it to. because as it is looking now, most ppl just wanna fkn talk abt for five minutes then that's enough effort for them. if ppl were truly willing to fix this and to fight, we woul be out there together and organizing and doing somthing real, but nobody listens or meets the ppl who reach out halfway. if u even suggest it ppl immeditately shut u down. how the fuck do u radicalize ppl if they dont wanna listen or take u seriously? sigh

[jamiemaybeme]

every single reference to christianity i can find in bears' in trees songs because. yeah. fight me

uhhh idk why i'm doing this at 1am but enjoy ig

just five more minutes:

4am: "for god's sake it's only 4am"

fly out to alaska:

"well moses saw God in a burning bush, so i'm praying please"

bits n' pieces:

fyaaa (bandcamp exclusive): "praying to saint jude all of our lives"

i see blue:

nights like these: "stop asking st anthony"

EDITED: two of my very lovely friends, berry and jamie 1, pointed out that "mother help me, madonna and child" is a reference to mary and Jesus. thank you guys!!

i want to feel chaotic:

rust: "a broken piece/of God's great plan"

"stop me eating the sand/stop me feeling so goddamm bad"

keep me safe:

laugh/cry: "demons of the soul"

and everybody else smiled back:

heaven sent is a coffee cup: ..."heaven" (repeated throughout the song)

mossy cobblestone (kind of): "stained glass" - stained glass windows are often found in churches

"my body is a temple" - common idiom with religious connotations

"and God knows i'll live forever/or die in the attempt"

confidant: "but because you were my home/built on stone instead of sand" - reference to the wise man and foolish man, a parable Jesus told in the new testament (in the bible)

little cellist: "“even Jesus Christ himself needed help to bear his cross”"

sun machine: "i cradle God on my walk to u n i"

"she preaches gospel truth down the hall"

if i just ask politely: " you tell me you're going to church in the morning"

precipitation:

"they said the clouds opened up/and the heavens came down" (technically it's an idiom but leave me alone idc /lh)

every moonbeam every fever dream:

kind love: "set 'em in stained glass windows/build cathedrals to our flaws/the spire's crowned by galaxies"

doing this again: "oh [my] God we're doing this again"

"my mother 'cites a rosary downstairs"

"but Lord these blesséd words fail me"

how to stay shining:

bart's bike: "find heaven sent in brooklyn street" - a reference to heaven sent is a coffee cup

how to build an ocean: instructions:

i can't see anything i don't like about you: "when i'm good, good god, i'm great"

"i am everyone and everything all of the time/oh god i'll be..."

all you get is confetti: "you are magdelene, mary" - mary magdelene is a woman from the bible, who was possessed by demons until Jesus told them to leave her alone. she then became a follower of Christ and was with him until his death. in all four gospels she is cited as one of the women, or the only woman, to be the first people to see Jesus' empty tomb. she also is the first person said to see Jesus resurrected. he speaks to her and she does not recognise him until she says his name.

henry says: "but/and i'll make snow angels out of all their bad dreams"

hot chocolate: "and if it snows right now that would be heaven/i mean honestly, that would be heaven"

nothing cures melancholy like looking at maps: "praying the police won't call on us"

we don't speak anymore: "we can part any sea/that surrounds us" - in the old testament, moses leads the israelites out of egypt by parting the red sea. it is a miracle that God performs through him. moses is also mentioned in fly out to alaska (above).

unreleased songs:

tea: "whether it's the devil's water or the holy water/your essence bleeds out and you diffuse"