#literally the best thing about bateman is all the awful stuff he's done

[quinnmorgendorffer]

What’s... what the gay Jason Bateman show

OH. FUCKING. BOY.

Let me tell you about this show. This show. This fucking beautiful, awful, terrible, amazing, gay sHOW.

So, Jason Bateman did a Vanity Fair interview on YT talking about his biggest roles. Not all of them were really big or iconic, unlike the GQ one, which I highly recommend. So, anyways, he does the VF interview and he brings up this short-lived show in 2001, because his career has been like almost exclusively short lived TV shows since he first popped up in like one season of Little House on the Prairie. And this show was called Some of My Best Friends. And the conceit of the show is that a gay man and a straight man live together. Oh the hilarity!

Trust me, he was very much making the same sarcastic jokes about that, about how “apparently that was progressive back then”. And he already said it in the interview, but one look at this picture tells you who exactly the gay man is supposed to be:

That’s right, it’s Jason Bateman playing a gay man. But, like, a Will Truman gay man with a Jack best friend sort of thing. It lasted nine episodes. It’s a dumbass concept based off a film written by a straight man that based it off his own experiences I guess and he was really trying his best to be a good ally. But like…it’s not good lol.

So, the full set-up is that Jason Bateman’s character—whom we call gay Michael since it’s gay Michael Bluth—was living with his bf, got home one day and found the bf left him. He puts out an ad for a roommate and calls himself a “GWM” - gay white male. This Italian—they emphasize him being Italian so much, so I just call him Italian dude—wants to be an actor and needs to get out of his controlling mother’s house. So, he sees “GWM” and thinks it’s “guy with money”. Eventually he realizes what it really means and after at first freaking out, the pilot ends with them deciding to stay roommates. And the remaining episodes are just wacky hijinks and misunderstandings.

Now, I love sitcoms of all kinds. And I love truly awful shows, too. And so when I found out all the episodes are on YouTube, I fucking rejoiced. As did @theonewherelaurynhasablog. She gets me that way lol.

So back in February, after I got home from work one day, we sat down to rabbit them (RIP, man). We invited others btw and got no interest. Whatever, it was their loss.

And yes, it was awful. But also not awful. There were jokes that landed. Stories that I found highkey hilarious—as did Lauryn, btw. 

There was a very weirdly delightful episode where gay Michael hangs out with his very gay friend and the Italian dude’s mother and ends up, after some persuading, giving her sex tips. There’s an episode where he helps Italian dude throw his parents a big anniversary party and shit goes down. There’s an episode where Italian dude think gay Michael is into him and then vice versa. It’s all so dumb.

But weirdly funny.

And so fucking shippable. 

The last episode we ended up watching—I think we have one more left but like I had work the next day and she had uni—they find a stray dog and, after some convincing, gay Michael allows them to take it in. They become a fucking family. But Italian dude has gay panic because a girl in their building assumed he was in a relationship with gay Michael. Eventually, since it’s a sitcom, the owners find the missing ad and take the dog back and gay Michael is so sad because they were a family and he liked that!!! 

Keep in mind btw that his fucking sister is his LANDLORD! He has a family!!!

So, what does Italian dude do to make it up to him for his gay panic and all?

HE BUYS THEM A FUCKING FISH!

SO THEY CAN BE A FAMILY TOGETHER!!!!!

WHAT STRAIGHT GUY DOES THAT??????

So, yeah, we ended up loving it despite how  horrible it was. We were planning an AD fanfic around it—Blunder style, obviously, with gay Michael being Tony and Gob as the Italian dude, Lindsay as his best friend, Sally as the landlord, and Michael and Tracey were going to be the over-involved “parental” roles. IF we ever have the time, maybe we’ll make it happen. We had an over-arching plot starting anyways like it’s so easy to make this straight story into a straightbait story.

But, again, the show’s not good. It’s not horrible, but it ain’t good. And, yes, I’m glad it got cancelled or else we probably wouldn’t have gotten AD. Still, it’s really fun. And, as an added bonus, YT has both the pilot AND the unaired pilot.

Best part of the unaired pilot, you ask? Well, it’s almost exactly the same, except a different woman playing the Italian dude’s mother, bUT! BUT!!!! For whatever reason, all the transition music is “Blue (Da Ba Dee)”. For LITERALLY! NO! REASON!!!

Yes, we watched both.

Anyways, I’m sorry this got so long, but I am so fucking passionate about this show. I love dumb, awful, multi-cam sitcoms like this. I love trash TV in sitcom form. And this is as trashy yet as good as it gets. So bad it’s good to the max.

And today Lauryn brought it up in a discord server we’re in and then made that moodboard and I told her to publish it so I could have it somewhere and that’s why it’s up months after we watched it.

[domesticangel]

2 4 8 13 14 18 22 29 33/34 36 37 40 41 44 48 55 69 76 80 82 94 95 98? Sorry if that's a lot sfhsghsh there were so many to choose from!! U can skip some if u want

SDFHSJKDL NAH DUDE UR SO FINE I APPRECIATE U GIVIN ME SO MANY TO ANSWER !!! 🤠🤙🏻 I’m gonna throw this under a cut just bc. I Talk A Lot

2. is your room messy or clean?

HHHHH i’d say its more on the messy side lmao like its not too awful bad but i am rly bad about having The Chair™ that i pile all my worldly possessions on

4. do you like your name? why?

ive honestly never rly liked it lmao emily was apparently like one of the most popular baby names for girls in ‘97 so from grade school through college ive always been one of like at least 2 or 3 emily’s in each class kjhkjhfkj thats why i mostly prefer to go by emmy

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

i drive a 2002 ford taurus named tori and she’s my silver babby. she’s a very good car and i plaster her in as many bumper stickers as i can get my hands on

13. any siblings?

ye! one older brother. he’s like a cartoonishly stereotypical stoner but he’s chill so we get along

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

HMMM ive always thought colorado would be nice? i love mountains and i love cold weather and i feel like theres enough cities that id have an ok chance of getting a job in my field. somewhere in scandinavia might also be nice bc once again i like the cold and also ive heard their healthcare slaps

18. favorite tv show?

OOF idk if i could pick one fav but some I’m rly into and find myself rewatching a lot are scrubs, bojack horseman, its always sunny, archer, and dexter

22. do you go to the gym?

i do when I’m on campus just bc my school has a rly nice gym with a good running track but if I’m back home like over breaks and stuff ill just run outside. i sometimes go to the yoga/pilates classes my mom teachers at her local gym but thats about it

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?

HHHHH well. the main thing that came to mind was 3 years ago when i was driving and took a turn too fast and accidentally crashed into the front of a lady’s car….obv i didn’t mean to do it but i definitely was being reckless thinking i could make the turn. i totaled her car (i was driving a mustang at the time and those mfers are built like tanks so only our fender got dented but her entire front end was crushed) but luckily everyone was physically ok. i def learned my lesson about being a dumbass and also don’t fuck w rwd cars anymore lmao…even to this day thinking about how badly i couldve hurt her makes me shudder and i haven’t been in a wreck since

33. favorite actor?

idk if i can pick a fav but dfhjshgkjsdf i rly like samuel l. jackson, jason bateman, and paul rudd

34. favorite actress?

HHHHHHH i love so many actresses it’d probably be impossible to narrow it down but ive been rewatching ahs coven recently and it reminded me how much i love angela bassett and jessica lange 😩❤️

36. favorite movie?

kjghdsgjsk IM SRY IM PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF NARROWING ANYTHING DOWN TO ONE BUT,,, some of my consistent all times favs are the kill bill movies and the kingsman movies

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

i dont tbh i did when i was a kid but i always abandon books halfway through whenever i try nowadays,, i think the last book i read was the kite runner and its definitely one of my favs. i also like p much all of toni morrison’s books but beloved was my fav of hers

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

i think only twice??? once when i was RLY young for something i don’t even remember and again when i was still p young to get my tonsils out lmao

41. top 10 favorite songs

OOF ok favorites are so hard for me but some songs ive loved for a rly long time and always come back to are nightdrive with you (fear of tigers remix) by anoraak, countdown by beyonce, song of the sea by cake bake betty, surrender by cheap trick, bubbly by colbie caillat, ferrari by coyote kisses, that green gentleman by panic! at the disco, nightswimming by R.E.M., if it makes you happy by sheryl crow, and punk rock girl by the dead milkmen

44. what is your biggest fear?

JHDFKJLSHKJSGFK ok this is kinda morbid but like i have this specific fear of someone close to me dying and it depressing me so much that i like, am not able to finish school and pursue my career and i get like totally trapped as a result of grief that sustains itself by constantly reminding me that said dead person would be disappointed in me for quitting. Sweats Loudly

48. who is your role model?

prob my mom tbh which i know is. Cheesy but like. she’s been through so much shit and still came out the other end of it as this unconditionally compassionate and capable person and i just. thats what i wanna be

55. what is your dream job?

honestly this might sound sad but like? literally anything that doesn’t make me wanna die and pays well enough that i can pay my bills and have a little fun on the side?????? obv some kinda art career but as for what specifically I’m rly not picky tbh jfghjhf all i know is that id wanna work for a company as opposed to freelancing

69. do you play an instrument?

nope dkljhfsdjk im not musically talented in any way shape or form

76. what color looks best on you?

black or tie dye, no in between

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?

probably just like? super negative people. like people that go out of their way to find negativity and complain about other things or people and have no desire to look on the bright side or enjoy the little things. like chill dude. we’re all just here to have a good time

82. favorite ice cream flavor?

HMMM i rly love pecan praline ice cream !!!

94. favorite lyrics right now

i honestly rly like the chorus from help yourself by sad brad smith,, “I know you’ll help us when you’re feeling better, and we realize that it might not be for a long, long time, but we’re willing to wait on you, we believe in everything that you can do, if you could only lay down your mind”

it just. makes me Soft. it reminds me of the ppl in my life that believe in me unconditionally and are patient with me and how grateful i am to have them and all the people that i love and believe in too and. Yeah 😩❤️

95. summer or winter?

winter 100% i HATE heat and sweating plus like 90% of my wardrobe is cold weather clothes fdljhksjkdh

98. favorite month?

HMMM probably november? its usually like the transition from fall to winter so you get that really nice crisp fall weather that flows into the super cold hot cocoa weather that i loooooveee

[fly-pow-bye]

Ducktales 2017 - “Daytrip of Doom!”

Story by: Francisco Angones, Madison Bateman, Colleen Evanson, Christian Magalhaes, Bob Snow, Rachel Vine, Matt Youngberg

Written by: Rachel Vine

Storyboards by: Emmy Cicierega, Ben Holm, Jason Reicher

Directed by: Dana Terrace

Imported guitar games!

We start off the cold open of the first regular episode with Scrooge McDuck waking up, not really minding that Huey, Dewie and Louie are playing with foam dart guns. He even helps Dewey out by telling him not to shout when he's aiming at something, possibly training him for future missions. Mrs. Beakley doesn't exactly agree, as she alone has to prevent anything from getting broken.

Eventually, we get to see the far more adventurous and Mabel Pines-like Webby, doing what she does. Webby takes this game far more seriously, using grappling hooks, night-vision goggles, and even sets up a trap for Dewey and Louie to fall into. This contrast between the Webby and the boys sets up the main premise of the A plot.

After Scrooge McDuck finally draws the line at Donald Duck bathing in his washroom, Scrooge McDuck starts a family meeting to lay down two rules. 1. His space is his space, and 2. Refer to Mrs. Beakley for any other rules. While he had some character development with the nephews, he's still just as selfish as ever. He doesn't appear for most of this episode, giving more of the spotlight to the nephews and granddaughter.

This is not to say it's only the nephews and the granddaughter. Mrs. Beakley continues the meeting by flipping the blackboard to reveal a complicated diagram of rules. Much to Donald's chagrin, one of them is that nobody is above them, not even Donald, and he's not very happy about that. They get into a fight, telling the kids to leave. This sets up the B plot of Mrs. Beakley and Donald Duck not really getting along.

After they're forced to leave for what is probably not a kissing session, as they assumed. Webby wants to play more games, but the boys suggest a nap instead. Louie gives a better plan: going to Funso's Funzone! Dewey decides to invite Webby, because she's been sheltered all her life. Webby leaves to get her stuff by climbing up the wall. Whimsy!

Webby brings the usual kids stuff: grapping hooks, night vision goggles, the same kind of things she used in the foam dart scene. She tells herself that she's going to play it cool. She is not going to play it cool. From this scene, one can guess where this is going. She's going to be awkward, she's going to ruin the day somehow, the boys will shun her, and she's probably going to use these items to help the boys defeat whatever evil is going to capture them later in the episode.

While Webby gets super excited, we take a slight detour to the B plot, where Mrs. Beakley confronts Donald over him hooking up too many things and literally just holding a running water hose. There isn't much to say about these scenes. The episode just stops to show Donald Duck failing to get power. I've watched this episode a lot; I don't really remember what was funny about these scenes. For the record, Scrooge is nonexistent in this episode beyond the first scene, though he seems to be on Donald Duck’s side by virtue of not really caring. That's not necessarily a bad thing; he didn't need to be in this episode.

Webby gets to go on a bus for the first time in her life. Huey tries to prepare her, among other things, not to lick anything. Let's see how that works out!

Not well. She couldn't even follow the "no licking anything" rule, though thankfully on a pole. Apparently, she was so annoying, even the boys get thrown out, even though they didn't do anything. They seem fine with it, seemingly giving her quite a few chances. However, they have to walk through a seedy part of the neighborhood to get to their destination. Where people write "flatulence" on the wall, ducks play hopscotch on crime scene chalk outlines...

...and, of course, where three of the Beagle Boys are mugging some poor bird and stealing his truck. If you're familiar with the original show, they certainly have more distinct designs. One of the major differences is that Burger, the fat one that loved to eat in the original cartoon, is now a skinny guy who only speaks in grunts. It looks like they just took his admittedly "not cool nowadays" personality away, but maybe it'll get better in future episodes.

After the commercial break, they're finally at Funso's Funworld, and this episode turns out to be a "kids visit the Chuck E Cheese clone" episode. Each of the nephews seem to have their own way of having fun. By each of them, I mean just Louie and Dewey.

Louie takes her to the Pizza Pier, and he continues to be the sleaziest of the three. He clearly knows everyone in the pier, and is able to talk his way into free tokens and free drinks. Specifically, asking for water cups, and getting fruit punch. Webby is horrified, but Louie asks her to try the same thing.

Of course, her lack of social skills and inability to lie, outright telling the server what she intends to do with the water cup, only ends up getting the manager, who happens to be a pig, to kick both of them out. There is a really good joke that really plays into Webby's new character that is really subtle, but it's mostly just the expected scene otherwise.

Meanwhile, the Beagle Boys are. A man in a Funso costume tells them that no adults can come in unless they're accompanied by a minor. Big Time points backwards, and we see Bouncer in an ill-fitting outfit and holding a lollipop.

Now, how is this any different from those awful drag jokes in certain lesser cartoons? First, it's not a drag joke. The joke isn't just "look at this wacky villain in a costume", they play up now nobody would actually buy this. He actually says that line. An actual joke, if simple.

Speaking of simple jokes. Dewey introduces Webby to Uke or Puke, an obvious Guitar Hero parody. The joke is vomit.

Dewey: Behold! The best game ever created! Japanese import, there’s only one in the U.S., and I have the top ten scores...so I’m pretty much the best in the country.

Oh, so it's a GuitarFreaks parody! Despite never playing a video game before, she easily gets the hang of it. Yeah, that's definitely not accurate to real life, especially with those Japanese rhythm games. In fact, considering arcades nowadays, especially considering Chuck E Cheese, I'm surprised tickets never get involved.

We never get to see if Dewey's high scores get beaten by the utter magic of Webby, because this is all interrupted by Big Time and Bouncer in the Funso costume they stole by force in the previous scene. It ends as soon as it begins, as Webby instinctively hits the person sneaking up on her with the fake ukelele. Unforunately, not only do people see her as beating up Funso, he happens to land in a way that unhooks the game, getting rid of all the high scores.

As said before, they don't really think of a thing she could do to ruin Huey's enjoyment, so he just joins in to show that they aren't really that mad, subverting our expectations. Of course, this doesn't last long, as an acccident involving a deep part of a ball pit and the grappling hook causes Webby to accidently cause a fire. Even the boys get banned from Funso's, even if only one of them actually did anything wrong.

As for that prediction, while the boys never shun her directly, they sure think it loudly. Thankfully, as the manager calls Funso to take them away, it turns out Funso is still the Beagle Boys in disguise. Tying them up with rope, something proven on this very blog to keep superheroes from escaping, Big Shot has them call...

Ma Beagle, their boss. One of the main aspects of Ma Beagle is that Big Shot really wants her to give him praise, but Ma Beagle just isn't having it. He tells Ma Beagle all about his plan to kidnap the McDuck Brats, and have Burger throw a ransom note at Donald Duck, letting the B plot converge into the A plot for the benefit of the episode.

While the Beagle Boys are different from the original, they're still not too bright, as Ma Beagle tells them they just painted a giant target on themselves. Not only could Scrooge McDuck come in and give some a whollop rather than dollars, but possibly Mrs. Beakley as well! They don't get into too much detail, but the fact that the maid has a reputation says a lot about her.

Sure enough, Mrs. Beakley and Donald confront the Beagle Boys, and everyone's preparing for Mrs. Beakley to finally show what she'll do in an adventure situation. Unforunately, we're just going to have to wait.

Instead, it's Donald Duck that takes him down with his trademark outburst. The disappointment is most replaced by knowing how Donald Duck probably took care of things back when he was adventuring with Scrooge and Della. As for the other two, and how the nephews and Webby get out of their situation, I like being more vague when it comes to shows I actually enjoy, so I'll just spoil at least one things: Webby at least knows how to get out of rope, which was made believable by her previous actions.

Needless to say, I was mostly correct about my initial assumption, as Webby learns it's okay to be the odd one even if it caused them to be banned from a place they really loved. They seem to be okay with it, so everything turned out alright.

While this episode does a good job in building up Mrs. Beakley as this amazing person, both in how the Beagle Boys and Ma Beagle talk about her and a little joke in the end, we never actually see her do anything beyond her keeping the house safe from the nephew’s dart gun game in the beginning.

Teasing things that may happen in future episodes is happening a lot with this show, and it will happen in the next episode as well. Clearly, they want to be watching. I want to watch these potential episodes, so...mission accomplished?

How does it stack up?

Obviously, this wasn’t going to be as epic as the special that started this show. There’s still some good jokes, and one of my worries, that Webby would become this invincible can't-do-anything-wrong-unlike-those-icky-boys character in an effort to try to make her not as unmemorable as the original Webby, didn’t entirely come true. On the other hand, while not everything has to be a part of a major plotline, this is a cartoon after all, most of this episode felt like a throwaway.

According to Comcast, this episode was meant to be episode 3. Having seen The Great Dime Chase so I can have some sort of comparison for my ratings, I can probably see why they decided to swap the two. Not that this episode is bad, far from it, but let's just say, the next episode will have more of a bang than this one.

Honestly, this is the most skippable episode I've seen of the show so far, even if it's still entertaining. In the Fly Pow Bye economy, with its show-specific bell curves, Neutral Nephews are worth a little more than a Happy Buttercup.

Next, let's get to the chase!

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