#literally only 1 day before it's this blogs 1 year anniversary

[eltanin0]

wow, just wow. not once did i ever think i'd hit a big milestone like this. i am genuinely forever indebted to every one of you

large amounts of rambling below, mostly negative, sorry in advance

it's a bit unreal :/ i know i'm not deserving of even half of this, i know my stuff is pretty bad most of the time, i know i only get notes because bigger blogs take pity on me, i know many others who deserve this much much more than me. so i'm incredibly bittersweet about it. most of the people following me don't see 90% of my stuff, i have to imagine it's just people following and forgetting. most of my drawings dont pass 15 notes without large blogs reblogging my stuff. i still haven't created anything good in my eyes (i'd be a lot harsher but this is already pretty negative), but i'll continue to try and make stuff worthwhile for you all. most people don't read this stuff, maybe i shouldn't be writing it. i feel guilty for the people who followed me for the #effort pieces since they dont happen often. i'm sorry i haven't been drawing like i used to. i do not deserve the attention i've gotten, but i'll try and play catchup to become someone worthy of the kindness i've received.

sorry for all the rambling and overall negativity of this. thank you for your continued support. have a good day

[tip-top-cloud-surfer]

Left at the Altar - Hangman (Epilogue)

Pairing: Hangman / Wife!Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: Pregnancy and Kids; Suggestive Content; References to Sex; Second Person POV ("You"), Fem!Reader, No Y/N, No Defined Description of Physical Appearances of Reader; OC Baby is Referred to as Looking like “You”

This work, all of my other works, and my entire blog are 18+ Only.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Summary: About three and a half years after you visit Jake in San Diego, you take in the reality of this new stage of your life.

Links: Master List Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

You should have known that you would not be the most important girl in Jake Seresin’s life forever.

Despite the fact that you moved all the way to California for him only three months after he surprised you on your wedding day, married him three months after that, and the two of you just celebrated your three-year wedding anniversary, you were not the most important girl in Jake Seresin’s life.

Not anymore. No, you lost that position about a year and a half ago.

It didn’t matter that the other girl was somewhat bald, constantly crying and napping, unable to feed herself, and drooled constantly; she was undoubtedly the most important girl in Jake’s life. But she was also the most important girl in your life, so you couldn’t be mad at him for that.

The second that Jake saw your daughter he was absolutely enamored with her. And the second that he held her in his arms for the first time, the deal was sealed. Little Rose, or Rosie, Seresin was the most important girl in Jake Seresin’s life.

Rosie just seemed to bring out the best in him by simply being born and existing as she did. He was softer and more understanding with people, especially the personnel under his command. He was more relaxed and smiled a lot more than before. Frankly, he just became more like the Jake you always knew instead of the Hangman persona.

And Jake credited you and your daughter for his promotion because of those changes.

“Dada,” Rosie called, making grabby motions with her hands when Jake walked across the stage.

“Yes, that’s Dada, sweetheart,” you agreed, pressing a kiss to her head. “He’ll be here soon, but you have to stay quiet right now, okay?”

You leaned over and pulled out your daughter’s favorite stuffed animal from your bag to settle her for a little longer. She was so attached to the toy that you literally wrote it on any packing list that you ever made these days. And what stuffed animal was your daughter’s favorite?

A phoenix. Well, it said ‘fire bird’ on the label, but it was a phoenix. It was given to you at your baby shower by Human Phoenix, who became very smug about the fact. Especially when Jake couldn’t soothe your daughter to stop crying but her stuffed phoenix toy did in a second.

He pouted about it for at least five hours before you told him to get over it. The alternative was your daughter crying and while your husband hated losing, especially to Phoenix, he hated his daughter being upset even more. So, he got over it. Phoenix still liked to poke him about it once in a while though.

You handed your daughter her toy and brushed her hair down to soothe her so that you could listen in on the ceremony. When Jake was officially announced as Commander Jacob “Hangman” Seresin, you clapped proudly along with the rest of the crowd.

After the ceremony wrapped up, you slowly stood up and set your daughter on the ground. She happily took off as soon as she spotted her dad walking over. Letting out a squeal that caught quite a few amused looks from the other attendees, Rosie hurried towards Jake. He happily leaned down and scooped her up into his arms.

“Hey, Princess,” Jake greeted her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Placing her on his hip, he fixed the bow in her hair and smiled proudly. “Were you a good girl for Mommy?”

“Yeah,” she stated, grabbing at the bill of his dress white cap.

Jake pulled his hat off and placed it on top og Rosie’s head. It was far too big for her little head, but the giggle that she let out as she tried to see under it was absolutely adorable. You shook your head as Jake purposefully kept covering her eyes with it.

“Really setting a high standard there, Commander,” you teased, causing Jake to turn to you.

“I try, Wife.”

Jake wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you in for a quick peck. You knew that it was just a preamble to the celebrations that you would enjoy later in the safety of your own home, but Jake had to at least try and look like an upstanding commanding officer right now.

“How’s the wizzo doing?” Jake asked, spreading his fingers along your growing bump.

When you brought up the subject of having a second baby, you couldn’t even finish your little speech before Jake just simply started stripping in the middle of the living room. And the man took the job of knocking you up very seriously.

So, here you were: just a few weeks into your second trimester with your second baby.

Jake started referring to your baby as ‘the wizzo’ even though your baby wasn’t quite a backseater. And sometimes the nickname was ‘the BOB’ instead. Either way, there was no shortage of aviation-related jokes in your household.

“They’re fine,” you replied with a small smile. “But they’re not that big yet, so there’s still plenty of time for the Seresin genes to kick in.”

“You say that like Rosie isn’t your mini me,” Jake quipped, gently pulling his hat off of Rosie’s head. He placed it back on top of his own head and pressed another kiss to her cheek. “I mean, look at her. She’s all you. So beautiful.”

And well, Jake wasn’t exaggerating too much. Rosie did look a lot like you did when you were a baby. Your mom provided the evidence by sending you a bunch of old photos. There were a few bits of Jake here and there in Rosie, but the biggest evidence of her Seresin heritage was her attitude. She was a sassy little girl who was not afraid to say what was on her mind.

Jake thought that it was hilarious. You were just waiting until she got a little older.

“Is that how you got this promotion so quickly?” you cooed, cupping your husband’s cheek. “Because you’re such a good kiss up.”

“One of my many talents,” he replied with a wink, pressing a kiss to your palm. “I’d be happy to show you some of my other talents later, Mrs. Seresin.”

“You already knocked me up, Jake.”

“No harm in practicing,” he responded, smirking proudly.

The two of you moved on to greet and chat with all the different people at the ceremony. Rosie was never detached from her dad’s hip and you were rarely further than an arm’s length away from him either. It was like Jake assumed that everyone was here to celebrate how successful he was in his personal life and not his professional one.

But your daughter was only going to happily sit on her dad’s hip for so long.

It always started subtly. She would wiggle more and let out an occasional whine. Then she would get grabby if she wasn’t given attention. Rosie grabbed at Jake’s uniform, his medals, and his hat again. And when Jake patiently pulled her hand away every time, she got more frustrated. Grabbing at his ear and his nose, Rose whined again. Louder this time.

“What’s the matter, Princess?” Jake asked softly, grabbing her hand.

Rosie pouted, tired and cranky, and flopped against her dad dramatically. Burying her face into his shoulder, she whined again and curled up against him. All it took was a quick check of his watch to know that it was past Rosie’s usual nap time.

“It’s alright, sweetheart, I’ll get you home. Just give me a moment, okay?”

Jake rubbed Rose’s back and pressed a kiss to her hair before turning to the other officers that he had been talking with since the ceremony finished up.

“I’m sorry, but I have to go,” Jake apologized, trying to rock Rose a bit.

“We’ve all been there,” an older officer informed Jake with a knowing smile. “Take care.”

Excusing himself from his conversation, Jake walked a few steps over to where you were talking with a few other civilians. Gently calling your name, Jake leaned towards you to speak softly.

“I think that Rosie’s ready to go,” he stated, rubbing your daughter’s back to try and soothe her some more.

You quickly agreed and the two of you said your polite goodbyes before making your way to the car. Jake put Rosie into her car seat and placed her phoenix plushie in her lap to soothe her. Then he walked around to double check on you as you climbed into the passenger seat.

“Jake,” you sighed as he reached around to do your seat belt for you, “I would have gotten it.”

“You’re carrying precious cargo,” Jake insisted, clipping your seatbelt in place.

You gave him a kiss in thanks before he walked around and got into the driver’s seat. The drive back to your home was enough to settle Rosie to sleep, which you were very thankful for.

Jake carried her inside and put her down for her nap before heading into your bedroom. You stood in front of your mirror, wiping the makeup that you put on away.

“She stayed asleep?” you asked, glancing over at your husband.

“She’s asleep,” Jake echoed, placing the baby monitor down on the dresser. He placed his dress hat down as well before walking over to you. “Let me help you out of that.”

You shook your head with amusement as Jake started to undo your dress for you. But despite your show of pretend annoyance, you still helped Jake out with the process. Pulling your arms out of your dress and stepping out of it when it pooled on the ground, you pressed a kiss to your husband’s lips. Jake went and hung up your dress while you fixed your hair. But it wasn’t long before Jake returned and moved to unhook your bra.

“You haven’t even taken your coat off yet,” you huffed, even if you complied.

“You like it when I’m wearing my dress whites,” Jake reminded you, tossing your bra away.

He leaned over and pressed a series of kisses to your neck that quickly muddled your brain. It didn’t help that your pregnancy brain always seemed to short-circuit whenever your husband touched you. And, well, Jake was well-versed in how to get you riled up as evidenced by how confidently his hands moved to those particular spots.

“May I remind you of the night that we spent in that honeymoon suite in Texas?” he mused, nipping at the sensitive skin behind your ear

“Yes,” you breathed out, as Jake’s fingers slipped underneath the band of your underwear.

“You’re a little overdressed for a repeat of that night, Mrs. Seresin. Don’t you think?”

You lightly smacked your husband on the arm for that remark, earning a deep chuckle from your husband.

“You’re annoying, you know that?” you sighed, turning your head to lock eyes with him.

“You love me, Mrs. Seresin,” Jake insisted confidently. He pressed another soft kiss to your lips before smiling proudly. “I know you do.”

“Yeah, I guess I do,” you replied with a genuine smile. “Commander Ser—”

You didn’t even get to finish your sentence before Jake’s lips were back on yours. And that was a good thing because you probably would have risked waking your daughter up with the sound that you made when Jake’s fingers started moving just right.

Well, at least you were already pregnant.

A.N. Thank you to everyone who read this little series! I'm glad that you guys enjoyed it so much!

Master List Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Tag List (First 50 since there's a limit):

@djs8891 @avengers-fixation @dreamsofouterspace @maverick-wingman @rosiahills22 @bethabear12 @laneylovesglen @blue-aconite @mercurio23 @awildewit @caitsymichelle13 @mamaskillerqueen @emorychase @the-romanian-is-bae @novagreen04 @gigisimsonmars @olliepig @laneyspaulding19 @clancycucumber230 @eli2447 @luckyladycreator2 @marantha @ashbatz @emilyoflanternhill @riri-is-agirlie @goslytherin @phantomxoxo @imaginecrushes @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @mizzzpink @miss-i-ship-it @topaz125 @healanette @sarahsmi13s @buckysdollforlife @looneylikesbooks @fighterpilothoe @lunamoonbby @fav-fanficssss @lorilane33 @angelbabyange @swanqueens-blog @ilovewriting06 @linkpk88 @mallerz @sky0401 @lunamooncole @potterheadandsherlocked @rogersbarnesxx @iammirrorball

[panda-writes-kpop]

Happy THREE Years of Panda Writes K-pop!

editor katie here... as a professional yapper, I'm saving your feed by putting this below a read more 🤭 apologies in advance, I'm quite sentimental when it comes to these things and I almost started crying after I wrote this 😭 y'all mean so much to me, along with the blog and the friends I've made. okie I got to stop before I keep yapping on and on

tldr: a sweet thank you note for all of your support, plus a rough release date schedule for my writing along with a few ideas I've been playing with for a while 🥰

I swear, this anniversary always sneaks up on me, even though it's only a week and a couple of days after my birthday. Hard to believe that it's already been three years. 🥹 I still feel like that rising high school senior who's trying to express herself through writing about her favorite girlies. ❤️

This blog has taught me so much about myself, my writing, and the world that I live in. Along the way, I made amazing friends and memories that I will always cherish, even if I decide to stop writing (shout out to @foolish-sparrow @kingmaker-a @sanccharine @neon-city-dreams @dark-night-insomniac @ghastlybin for being the best friends a girl could have. I'm still trying to learn and be better every day, and I'm so thankful for your patience and kindness towards me).

None of this would ever be possible without you. Even if you silently follow me and read my fics on occasion, you are the reason that I enjoy writing so much. 🫶 I read every reblog and comment, even if I haven't always responded in the past. (shame on past me, I used to be really shy on the internet until I got fully acquainted to having an online platform of sorts). The likes, comments, and reblogs let me know what fics everyone likes.

And, of course, I have to give a special shout-out to anyone who has every sent me an anon ask or an ask in general. They make my day, especially if you're talking about a fic you like (I literally giggle and kick my feet at the asks, please keep sending them 💙).

Enough of the sentimental yapping (you've all encouraged my yapping habit by being here, now suffer the consequences 😌), I want to talk about some of the fics I have cooking in my brain and (DISCLAIMER: DO NOT HOLD ME TO THIS) a rough estimate of when they might come out.

This week, I would like to write and release the Sana fluff alphabet early in the week and then the Dahyun fluff alphabet later in the week or sometime next week. After that, I will be working on the last two Pirate! Aespa fics along with SuA's birthday fic (Supernatural AU, two-part fic, SuA/Siyeon as the Winchesters iykyk). That should put me nearly at my university's start time, and I do want to have some surprises up my sleeve. But, for the sake of you bearing with me and reading my blabbering, I'll give you some hints. :)

Fic #1 - The Boys AU without the more extreme elements of the show, idol has powers similar to A-Train and is a whole mess

Fic #2 - Criminal Minds AU, idol has the likeness and some attributes of Aaron Hotchner, reader and idol are angry idiots in love with lots of romantic tension that everyone but them notices

Hey, you remember this series? Cool, cool, just making sure... 😉

plus I'd like to work on the slushie prompts so they can be wrapped up this year or sometime next year!

thank you for three amazing years, and here's the to hope that there will be many more years to come.

thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for everything. For every like, comment, reblog, follow, read, anon ask - they're all so precious to me.

thank you for everything. ❤️

~ katie/panda

[usedpidemo]

Update - 2nd year anniversary! (plus a reflection, and future plans).

Hi everyone! π here.

Today, May 13th, is the day I officially opened up this blog and began writing degenerate and immoral stories! 2 fucking years have passed, how time flies. So much can change in a year, and so do some of the stats!

First work: Sandwich - Red Velvet Wendy (published 05/13/21, 4:03 a.m.)

Highest note count: Awards after-party affair - Itzy Yuna (published 10/23/22, 1167 notes)

Number of works published: 80 fics (1 fic every 9.1 days)

500 followers: June 18, 2021 (36 days or 1 month, 5 days)

1,000 followers: October 12, 2021 (152 days or 4 months, 30 days)

2,000 followers: June 18, 2022 (401 days or 1 year, 1 month, and 5 days)

3,000 followers: November 12, 2022 (548 days or 1 year, 5 months, and 30 days)

Follower count: 3,953 followers (5.4 followers a day)

I wish I had something awesome lined up to celebrate this milestone, but I don't have anything prepared XD I've been busy and lazy at the same time. (Is that even possible?)

Actually, yeah, I do have a whole week's worth of cool things lined up this week! If I can even follow through with this one...

Monday: AMA

Tuesday: Reader Poll

Wednesday: ???

Thursday: ???

Friday: ???

I don't want to make the fun section of the update elaborately long, so I just want to say thank you so much to everyone for the support! Even though I'm not as active or as productive as I used to be, your eagerness never wavered, and you guys enjoy me talking about random shit on the side, whether it be song lyrics, Pokémon, or literally posts without any context to them. I love you guys. Here's to another year 🧡

Everything else from this point is a brief reflection and introspection of what I've been feeling since then. You can ignore this if you wish to do so.

So today marks the second anniversary since I opened up this Tumblr and became a degenerate writer. The work I've been putting up is getting worse—in a sexual and filthy way, not objectively—and my mental health has been getter much, much better! When I made the same anniversary post around this time a year ago, I was at an all-time low, mentally speaking. I really felt like I had not much left to give at that point, my skill has stagnated, and I thought there wasn't much for me to improve on. If you asked me if I had any future plans for this blog, I'd say I'd be done by the end of 2022, if not sooner.

It's now 2023, and I believe I'm as good as I can be right now. Slumps happen for a reason, and you can't always win, but it's how you bounce back from the lowest of lows that you reach highest of highs. And I believe I can still get better.

Genuinely, not to sound arrogant, because Lord knows I'm not the best fanfic writer—fuck no—I'm not anywhere close, even in a theoretical top 1000 list, but I do think some of my finest work have come up in my most recent fics. I don't know, it feels more polished and there was more effort and deliberation put into it. The numbers don't lie, either; every single work I published since May 2022 has over 400+ notes, and I've even passed the 1000+ note barrier twice! It goes to show that you guys are enjoying what I'm putting out as much as I love making them, slow and difficult it may be. I can fondly smile at last year's additions to my masterlist and say, "I can't believe I did that."

I do want to apologize if my output rate has drastically slowed down, and if I'm not as active as I was before. It's unfortunately part of the sacrifice needed for better quality control, and also because I have more personal commitments to attend to. 2023 has been fantastic for me so far in almost every department, except maybe physically—I could use more exercise—but that can be worked upon.

I do believe I'm on borrowed time. Again, look at the gap between fics over the past six months ago, and it's only going to widen once I enter my third year of college. I also have to begin considering what hobbies and other things I should do to occupy my free time, so I can be more productive as a person. This isn't to say I'm definitely quitting, but I expect more responsibilities to be shouldered onto me in the future, and having time for myself is going to be pretty much a birthday gift with how rare it might be given, and I'd prefer spending my time off recharging and relaxing instead of stressing over inconsequential or 'fun' things.

There's a lot of people I want to thank specifically, because while I was struggling with my own personal battles, they've been encouraging me to continue fighting and have been absolute lads—and lasses—throughout the past year. When I needed someone to talk to that wasn't my therapist, they were there, and I took solace in their comfort and companionship. I can't tag you guys, but if you're reading this—Chunk, Raf, Peach, Aaron, Sol, V1n, Iz, Ddeun, C.o, Kaede, Frisky, Smite, Shaun, Sins, Jett, Eros, Prael, Ken, Cray, CJ, Sooya, Gray, Svn—I sincerely thank you. God bless each and every single one of you. And to Tim, I really hope you can see this, but I'm truly, truly sorry. I hope we can find a way to bury that fracture in our relationship in the past, and we can reconcile. If not, then I just want closure and peace for the both of us.

So in closing, I want to thank you so much for sticking with me through the bad times and prospering with me through the good, and I'm always humbled that you've taken a chance on me when I started, when I was a hopeful newbie, two years ago. Now here we are. I appreciate every single one of you, be it a fellow writer, a reader, or a lurker.

With grace,

Peter / π

[heybaetae]

gifmaker / cc wrapped 2023!

thanks for tagging me my angel @jkvjimin 💜

i tried really hard not to choose all comp sets, but those take the most effort and therefore are what i'm prouder of than a standard set, but regardless...

here are my top 10 fave creations of the year:

bts chapter 1 insta feed // this was an insanely taxing project and is probably the most work i've ever put into anything, but i was really inspired to do it. it took about a week (one day for each panel) and was repetitive, i literally threw out my back by day 3 from sitting working on it that my body was in SO MUCH PAIN, but i wanted to get everything right and make it make sense which is why i wrote up a detail post breaking it down and explaining every decision that went into this. i still intend to make this a series and do one dedicated to their japanese discography (i actually started on one before i published this but didn't like the concept) and for their solo work, but it doesn't feel like the right time yet as things continue to release. but i look forward to it!

cheesy bts valentine cards // this was purposely corny, but the response was unbelievable! i had fun working on it and was so happy it made people laugh and smile. the tags were a joy to read on this post and it's my fourth most popular gifset ever. thank you!

bts guide to troubled birds // yet another corny idea, but i get a kick out of making silly comps and was inspired to make this. i started with jimin's as an experiment because his poem was the easiest to choose and built the rest of it from there, carefully deciding which poem to apply to each member and recreating them from scratch. i love celebrating their chaos in fun ways, so this was nice!

jungkook's sensitive tear ducts // sometimes i get really random comp ideas and spontaneously start making something with no plan. this was one of those times and it is now my third most popular gifset since making this blog in 2020 lol. ofc i'd never gif him upset about anything serious, so i only chose moments that didn't feel inappropriate to include to keep this set lighthearted and humorous.

long live bts (10th anniversary set) // i always knew i wanted to make something with the lyrics of that song because every word of it reminds me of their story. the 10th anniversary was perfect since it literally says "it was the end of a decade". i wanted the set to just be really simple so i went with a more desaturated look and focused more on choosing a scene from each year that fit the lyric per that gif.

love me again mv // this was my first time bothering to gif a music video in 4k. i usually avoid it bc it slows my computer down and takes a lot longer (i also have to reconvert the youtube download to a different file type to get it to play in my kmplayer, it's a whole process) but i waited a few days after it came out because i originially didn't think i could color it when it premiered so i just didn't gif it. but i gave it a try anyway when i didn't feel so pressured and i really like how crisp they came out.

jungkook's bday set // i didn't have a plan for this when i started, but i searched a lot for inspo and finally found something i felt like i could make something with so i came up with this very barbie-esque rendition for jungkook that i'm still very fond of. i purposely didn't write happy birthday on it anywhere so it could be shared year-round. it's probably my fave set i made all year and everyone seemed to like it too!

jimin's bday set // this was originally just going to include songs from FACE, but i decided it didn't celebrate jimin's work as a whole if i didn't include all his solo songs/endeavors so it turned into a big monster. i like how it came out though!

standing next to you mv // this year i was introduced to HD master files, so instead of rushing to download a new mv from youtube and giffing it fast, i'd wait for a higher quality rip from apple music to show up online. the difference is quite astounding. i made gifs with master files for all three of jk's music videos this year (seven, 3D), but i like how this one turned out the best.

vmin comp // just felt like giffing my two favorite people before they left and needed to channel my sad emotions into something before seeing them seperate for so long. i included moments i've giffed before and ones i've never had the chance to gif. i could have made this post so much longer but forced myself to stop lol. i like the pink and blue colors in it a lot <3 i miss them so much

thank for all your support on my work this year! i have lots of (old) new stuff in my drafts to share in the new year so please keep your love coming x

i'm going to tag @userjiminie @userjungkook97 @btsiu and @cordiallyfuturedwight to do this if they'd like to!

[dnangelic]

UNCHANGING IDEAL DRAMA CD POST

AWRIIIIIGHT so here's the big ole translation post of what i got from the brand new drama cd. there are 3 tracks, two longer (each around 20 min) and one short, (around 10, more or less a dramatized version of this particular 4 page manga chapter short,) making up three tracks, which i won't be uploading in their entirety to this blog or anything because this came out like literal just months ago. disclaimer that a lot of this is me going by ear with my fairly basic jp knowledge and being largely hand-held by machine translations, if anyone wants to type up a more accurate translation please feel free.

on that same note and while i'm talking about it, a real quick initial translation note that i consider important/useful before anything starts: the jp term for 'admiring,' 'aspiring,' and 'longing/yearning' (憧れるよ) can all be the same and are used interchangeably throughout the tracks, (compared to english which has very different inherent connotations,) so keep that in mind for understanding's sake!

also final disclaimer that this cd uses the anime cast, whereas my portrayals use the voices from the wink series, not the ones you'll find in here. i can't stand okiayu dark i'm an onosaka dark first n foremost awoijakfjlkgj okay enough about that let's go!!!!

TRACK 1.

< starts off with a generic heist(tm) for intro flare (25 years and canon dark is still homophobic awpoiadklj 😭) then skips to a schoolday. the track takes place during daisuke's bday, one year after his very first transformation, which would in fact make him 15 compared to 14 like he was at the veeery start of the series (and also where i'm writing him). out of the whole cast riku was the only one who didn't know it was his bday because daisuke never talked about it much, and it's also considered a special anniversary day because it's also the day of dark's reappearance.

< emiko has set out a warning card, to daisuke's chagrin and dark's own obliviousness. cue this funny little exchange:

daisuke: ahh, how did this happen?! hiwatari: you always seem so busy. dark: (whose fault is it always making me busier?) daisuke: hiwatari-kun's not...! (lit: 日渡くんじゃない) hiwatari: as long as somebody doesn't do anything, i won't have to get busy.

hiwatari continues to say that tonight's target isn't a hikari, but the product of 'those who yearn and obsess' over it. daisuke goes huhwhat to which hiwatari continues saying: 'when the emotion of longing is too strong, it can sometimes become a powerful curse and eat away at people's hearts.' he also tells dai that he wants dai to be careful 🥺

daisuke's a little late for the meet-up, (and dark takes the blow) but he and riku have a talk over things like their opinions over each other and wanting to get to know each other some more little by little. riku expresses how kind and gentle daisuke is that he'd even be nice to a 'bad person' like dark, and also brings up how daisuke always seemed tired and spaced out in the mornings (thanks to having to escape his mother's traps,) but riku would've never guessed that he was actually so strong and surprisingly a little cool. daisuke gets so happy that he starts to suddenly haul ass after thanking her and riku complains that he's always leaving right in the middle of important conversations.

with daisuke now lamenting that he almost transformed right in front of her, dark laughs and wonders what riku would think if he had. daisuke says that he'd definitely, definitely be hated, and risa shows up. daisuke gets scared wondering if she saw him transform, but dark says that it doesn't seem like she had, so things should be fine. he's still in daisuke's school clothes though, and risa comments on the fact--- daisuke sobs 'i knew it, we're out, dark!' before dark asks why she thinks he's dressed like this, then goes on and plays along with her guess of it being preparations for the heist - the museum for tonight's close to the school.

risa says that today's a special day for her too since it's the first day she fell in love with dark, to which he says that he thinks every day he meets with her is special. risa goes for a kiss and daisuke freaks out, forcing dark to say just kidding and see ya before she stops him one last time - she asks about dark's birthday, says nevermind, then says that she was happy to at least be able to convey her feelings on a day that was special to her. men with secrets are more attractive to her, and she's sorry for stopping him, but she promises to come see him and wishes him the best. daisuke transforms back, to which dark tells them to get moving so they can ask why emiko was interested in idea - the target artwork for the night.

TRACK 2.

dark asks if daisuke's ready - it's already been a year since they've been together, to which daisuke says that he feels weirdly self conscious when it's brought up. a year ago, he was told that if he stole the saint tears, his transformations would be cured, but in reality, he had to somehow make his first love come true.

dark laughs, saying daisuke's surprise was a masterpiece and that he misses it, to which daisuke comments again --- dark misses a year ago, even though his life's extremely long. dark says that even if a year was like the blink of an eye and someone's been around for a long time, they don't always stay in the public eye, and from the time a niwa turned 14 to the time their love bore fruit, he'd use his time. 'for the past 40 years, from grandpa to me, dark's been sleeping, huh? ' dark says that thanks to all the things happening with daisuke, the year's felt strangely long and he's starting to get nostalgic.

dark: (besides, you're by far the clumsiest of all the niwa in history.) daisuke: what's with that?!

the two laugh together; daisuke thinks it's a little weird to be talking about the past, and he was a little happy that even risa told him it was a special day. dark tells him to shut up and hurry up and get moving so they won't be late--- daisuke rushes off.

he apologizes to riku and everyone else for being kept waiting, and takeshi chides him calling him a dumbass, (leaving dark teasing him as one too,) but it couldn't be helped and was dark's fault anyways; he was busy preparing for his encounter with inspector saehara. takeshi's been staking out the place since school ended. riku does an amazing impression of risa fawning over dark, to which she snaps that of course she'd be lovesick, today was a special day! daisuke asks about hiwatari, who pops out saying he's right here--- causing everyone to jump and scream at the top of their lungs.

inside of daisuke, dark suggests hurrying up and running away early, but daisuke doesn't want to because it'd be suspicious. dark insists it'd be suspicious anyways, and it'd be trouble if hiwatari stayed here anyways. daisuke finally relents, and takeshi asks him what's up- he's even more absent-minded than usual, so daisuke says he's a little nervous and going to the bathroom. takeshi asks if he's got diarrhea (lmao) and risa calls him gross, while hiwatari only lets out a sigh. daisuke hides in some bushes and leaves his cover to wiz, who transforms into him while he transforms into dark. dark tells wiz to come back to him as soon as hiwatari leaves the group, and the heist is officially on.

inside the museum, hiwatari has appeared in front of idea as expected, and shouts for dark not to run. krad soon appears and begins to attack and pursue dark, saying that dark must want to settle things with him today- to which dark says that he had no interest in doing so and hadn't been the one to invite him out in the first place. daisuke and him start to fret; if krad's appeared, then hiwatari must be in a desperate situation today. krad, meanwhile, has been calling the artwork a fake and says he has no interest in it or its obsession. to him, the artwork is a piece of junk that has no value and should be destroyed.

dark dares him to try something if he can, and krad starts to destroy it, promising to destroy as many 'fakes' as they liked, until hiwatari starts holding him down from within --- the artwork's dangerous, and once broken, begins emitting a strange and magical light. daisuke tells dark to let go of it, and hiwatari curses that it's too late to fix it properly now. in the end daisuke ends up pulled away from dark and gets absorbed into the artwork alongside satoshi, who asks what the hell krad must have done, but not even krad had done anything. krad disses idea some more as an ugly artwork, but the fact there are no more interruptions makes everything juuuuust right- he attacks dark, who begs for daisuke to hurry up and exit the artwork already.

inside of idea, daisuke wakes up with hiwatari. he asks where he is, saying his surroundings feel like the inside of a kaleidoscope - hiwatari deduces that due to the mysterious light of idea, they were probably inside of it by now. the two of them were in fact separated and absorbed. hiwatari remarks on how calm daisuke is to which daisuke brightly replies that there's a good thing - (hiwatari:what is there good about this situation?!) since he isn't alone and hiwatari's with him, there's still something good about their circumstances. (hiwatari: you're being awfully optimistic.)

daisuke changes the topic to recall that hiwatari had told him something about this artwork in school, and asks if hiwatari knows anything about it. hiwatari explains that it's also a 'kind of seed of light',(hikari) and brings up a woman's eyes - 'this piece, named idea, was created with a longing for light.'(hikari) daisuke recalls hiwatari's earlier description: an admiration so strong it became a curse.

hiwatari concurs and elaborates: its creator longed for the hikari (light) and idea was the only one of those works that had survived, the closest to the original. the others were destroyed by the hikari, and hiwatari wonders if it wasn't krad who had actually done that. daisuke asks why only idea was spared, but hiwatari himself doesn't know why; even if it was approved of, it still would have been such a 'distorted' work. daisuke asks if that's how hiwatari himself feels, to which hiwatari asks what daisuke means. idea doesn't feel so bad to him: admiring someone and thinking they're amazing, isn't that a positive thing? he wants to believe that the inside of idea is something similar. hiwatari acknowledges that must be how daisuke feels, but for himself, it's too dazzling for him to look at.

hiwatari: please don't make that face. it's just a difference in perception. krad: that's right. it's a despicable thing for imperfections to be forgiven, hikari. and satoshi-sama, are you also cursed by the blood of light that makes you attracted to imperfect beings?

hiwatari immediately recognizes krad's appearance as a hallucination caused by idea, but the daisuke from before must have been real.

idea: where's niwa? is it real? is it fake? who decides what is what?

having been so suddenly separated from hiwatari, daisuke calls out for him- because hiwatari had disappeared so suddenly, he can only hope that hiwatari's okay. immediately after, daisuke's confronted by dark saying: ' i don't care about him, anything's fine, isn't it?!' daisuke's relief at dark's appearance is immediate, and he says that it's an emergency, but before he can continue, dark cuts him off and says he's going to get out of here and go home. daisuke insists that they find hiwatari before they do that, and dark asks why --- he's the enemy! wouldn't it be better to keep him locked up here? daisuke says he can't be the only one to get out; hiwatari had to still be somewhere around somewhere. if dark was getting out, then he'd have to go with daisuke.

dark: what the hell do we care about that hikari brat? daisuke: hiwatari's a very important friend to me! you know that! dark: he's a dear friend to you, but maybe he doesn't think so.

cut to hiwatari and krad .

krad: satoshi-sama, you want niwa daisuke, but is that the truth? satoshi: what? krad: isn't that boy too dazzling for you? admiration is something that is so dazzling that it's painful to look at. aren't those words the real truth? satoshi: you talk a lot for a fake.

cut to dark and daisuke.

dark: you've never heard hiwatari's real feelings before. so, he might be a fake friend. daisuke: it ... can't be like that. dark: how can you say that? daisuke: because i know. dark: what's that supposed to mean? you don't know anything about the hikari. how beautiful and fascinating the hikari artworks are, attracting people to the point of being violent and demonic. daisuke: ...yeah. i don't really understand anything about the hikari. dark: see? then-- daisuke: but! i know hiwatari-kun! and --- i know dark, too. dark: what do you mean? daisuke: you ... aren't dark. dark: --- ?! daisuke: it's true that dark dislikes hiwatari-kun, but he sees him as an individual, not as part of the hikari clan... at least in front of me. to be obsessed with the hikari's art, you must be... idea, right?

the fake dark transforms into idea, who calls daisuke quick to have noticed things and pretty smart despite only being a 'human niwa.' daisuke asks why he and hiwatari were absorbed into this place, but idea vents at him for only continuing to steal hikari artworks while his only goal was the hikari clan.

idea: shut up! you have the answer! i keep reaching out, but even if i do, i can't reach it! but even so, i still feel a burning desire to reach out, so i reach out again, but i still can't reach it! daisuke: ... idea: i admire the hikari's works and want to reach that height. do you understand the pain of being possessed by a desire and losing everything?!

switch to krad!

krad: that's right. you don't know anything. you are a special being, a member of the hikari family. you... hiwatari: yeah, i don't want to understand the lamentations of those who have given up and gave up trying. krad: correct. that nobility is what makes you so attractive, but at the same time, it makes you lonely. hiwatari: shut up! krad: that's why you don't try to understand others. at the same time... you are not understood by others. here... it's lonely. hiwatari: ngh... krad: that should have been fine for you before. not attached, not possessed, your heart never ached for others... hiwatari: ... krad: even though i've done so much for you, you just look away. hiwatari: you don't see me! krad: satoshi-sama's feelings are mistaken. hiwatari: shut up! what do you know? you don't know anything either! krad: you can't understand others, and you're not understood. you are, for eternity, lonely. hiwatari: i'm ... not lonely... !!

switch to daisuke.

daisuke: it's true that i don't understand you... how much you've yearned for the hikari and how much you've despaired, but... is yearning really just such a bad feeling? idea: what? daisuke: after i spent a year with dark, i started thinking, 'i wish i could be like dark...!' i don't know what i was thinking. idea: that's what i long for. a longing that can never be fulfilled and disappears into black despair! in the end, the shape of the work is like a crack. daisuke: --- but you know, i don't want to drown in admiration. the desire to become something and to know more about it, gives me the courage to take a step forward.

cue a flashback to riku saying that she was getting to know daisuke little by little.

daisuke: this is also about moving forward. if i move forward, the person i admire is waiting for me. that's what i believe.

cue another flashback of riku remembering seeing 'daisuke as dark for a moment.'

daisuke: i want to catch up with him someday. that's what i aspire for.

switch to krad.

krad: that feeling is usually comical and not beautiful, even though i and satoshi-sama are connected by a bond of fate. hiwatari: you ... krad: you are the giver. what else can you be? hiwatari: ... krad: he is in this idea, a tether that confines him forever. and you too will continue to watch here, forever suffering the pain of what you cannot obtain. you can only look at the artworks of the hikari. daisuke: don't be fooled, hiwatari-kun! hiwatari: niwa---?! krad: impossible! from where---?! daisuke: that isn't krad! you knew that, right?!

hiwatari agrees - although the tone is just like krad's, there's a crucial difference: he'd never give up on the kokuyoku.

hiwatari: show me you would never even think of locking me up to die in a piece of art like this... idea!

glass shattering sound fx, whatever was separating daisuke from hiwatari crumbles and daisuke says he's glad hiwatari isn't hurt. idea fumes, hiwatari begins to speak.

hiwatari: it's true that there's a dazzling admiration inside of me, but not everyone is crushed by it. the answer is not to become the same as your idol. you can just hold it close to your heart and use it as a guidepost, like a brother. daisuke: hiwatari-kun... hiwatari: first of all, i can't become a niwa. he's too soft-hearted. daisuke: ...eh? i-i don't know if i'm that good-natured ... hiwatari: yes. in fact, he wants to save this artwork without destroying it. am i wrong? daisuke: mhm... you're not wrong! idea: you're just rambling on and on! daisuke: hey, idea... why don't you let me steal you? idea: wh... what? hiwatari: it's not a bad suggestion. idea: what are you on about?! hiwatari: the reason the hikari ancestors didn't destroy idea was because there was a secret in its name. 'the maiden's eyes, idea.' that means the viewer. daisuke: the viewer... always following what they admire with their gaze. hiwatari: the hikari didn't tolerate imitators, but they did forgive the gaze that was fixed on them. idea: the light that had destroyed their brothers so much... that's how it should be, i'm sure, but ---! daisuke: the creator of you gave you that name with a wish in mind. hiwatari: "i want to continue watching these light-hearted works and admire them even after i die." idea: that... i didn't understand the meaning of my birth... daisuke: then... take a look with me! hiwatari-kun's feelings... the hikari's feelings! idea: why you steal... isn't that like a hikari's work? daisuke: yeah, that's right! hiwatari: what you said didn't sound bad. daisuke: but... is it okay? you'll be helping me steal it. hiwatari: as long as it isn't a hikari artwork, then there's no problem if i step back. idea: (laughs) it can't be... being stolen by a niwa! how do you like that?

daisuke: well then, looks like the deal's done! let's go back, hiwatari-kun. hiwatari: yeah. even so... your bottomless kindness--- daisuke: hm? hiwatari (whispering): i admire it.

^ ooooh that delivery was CRAZY thank you akira ishida HOLY MOLY!!! ZOOWEE!!!

TRACK 3.

cut back to krad and dark. the real ones this time! krad tells dark they're finally going to become one. dark says he doesn't give a shit about that and some glittery magic sound fx cue daisuke and satoshi's return to their respective angels within them --- dark says he was getting tired of waiting and daisuke begs dark to steal idea. dark says he doesn't know what happened while daisuke was inside the artwork, but that (idea) is the Great His (ore-sama's...) thing.

krad also welcomes satoshi back with an extremely formal greeting, (one reserved for partners) to which satoshi says it's dangerous for him to keep his eyes off of things. krad calmly calls it a conundrum, only, too bad for sato, "it's his time."

krad starts blasting, dark flies off towards the water while saying if the whole museum's destroyed there won't even be anything for him to steal, but he also tells daisuke to leave things to dark-sama when daisuke asks where they're trying to go. inside of krad, satoshi holds krad back to give dark an opportunity to attack- dark goes all phsew!!! and krad lets out dark's name at five thousand reverbeating decibels; maiden's eyes (idea) get. krad runs out of power, but dark's completely beat too- daisuke starts falling and lands in some water, while hiwatari says he was cushioned by some trees and soil. daisuke thanks him, and hiwatari says he was only paying back what he owed. daisuke looks for idea, but hiwatari says he doesn't have it anymore and that he dropped it somewhere.

risa and riku appear, with risa guiding everyone towards the crash and riku wondering what in the world they'd do if dark was really there. the two end up surprised to see daisuke and hiwatari together. while daisuke fumbles for an excuse, hiwatari speaks up to tell them that they both came all this way after chasing dark, but he had escaped at the very last moment.

risa: awww, it's such a shame! hiwatari: that's right, such a real shame. i'll catch him next time. daisuke: i-is that so?

riku gives daisuke a loooong stare then lets everything go - it's fine as long as daisuke's safe. plus, it's his birthay so she can give him a special pardon. since dark ran off, there was nothing left for everyone but to go home, only risa wants to keep searching just in case dark turns up. riku says no, it's getting late and cold, and hiwatari asks if they aren't forgetting someone? cut to takeshi sneezing all alone - everyone's left him, but he's still hoping to stake out the scoop, so hurry up, dark, no, dark-sama, and show up to give him the chance to take a picture! pl-ea-se!!!!!

cut to daisuke flopping into his bed. dark says their birthday flew by, but daisuke suddenly asks for the time, then sits right back up and starts doing something despite dark's concerns over his sleep --- daisuke ends ups finishing a picture of dark as a present from him, because it's their anniversary, as risa called it.

dark: daisuke... daisuke: how... is it? dark: pfft. no good! daisuke: ehhh?! ⤴⤴⤴ ngh, i don't know if it's because maybe it's not all that good, but --- dark: no, that's not it.

dark explains that he just doesn't want to receive any presents from men and daisuke asks what the heck that's supposed to be. dark'd be happy to get anything from a girl, but he won't be happy in the slightest if he gets something from a guy. daisuke pouts: he thought he'd celebrate dark's birthday, but that's enough! dark instead announces he's going to steal it, and daisuke asks what happened to not accepting presents from guys? dark says as a legendary phantom thief, treasures weren't given as presents, they were stolen --- daisuke says dark's not really being honest.

dark asks what the title of portrait is, and daisuke says that there isn't one, to which dark retorts that receiving an artwork with that kind of noise is a real turn off. he tells daisuke to call it something, to which daisuke thinks to call it his aspiration: dark hesitates, and daisuke asks if it's no good. dark calls him a huuuuuge softy for giving his picture a title like that and starts to laugh, to which daisuke says he's had enough--- he hates dark and he's going to bed! he falls asleep in a solid three seconds leaving dark to himself. he starts using daisuke's body while he's asleep, telling wiz to hush so that daisuke doesn't wake in the middle of anything. before daisuke, dark had never received a gift from the niwa before- this was the first time.

dark: "my aspiration," huh? (*clocktower ringing*) dark: the date's changed. i forgot to say it, but happy birthday, daisuke. a birthday is a day that tells us that time is definitely moving forward, and you're moving forward with aspirations in your heart. just like you admire me, i've often thought i wanted to have you. so maybe we're becoming the same. hey, daisuke... ... is it alright if i can be you?

[fuck-customers]

Yesterday (2/7) I submitted something about my paycheck being late. Well, update: It is now 2/8 and I have not been paid. Usually what happens is I get my pay stub emailed to me on Monday (I get paid every other week), and my paycheck is directly deposited into my bank account by Tuesday morning.

This week, however, my pay stub did not arrive on Monday, and I kind of had a bad feeling about things already but I figured maybe my paycheck would still hit on time. Nope! Tuesday dawned and no paycheck. Which was frustrating because I had plans to go grocery shopping and get a haircut, and I couldn't do those things without my paycheck, but as I mentioned in my other ask, my paycheck is sometimes delayed by a day if the banks are closed on Monday for some kind of holiday (not that there was one this week, but I was still hopeful).

Today, Wednesday, was my anniversary with my partner, and we had plans to go shopping together, but when I woke up and checked my bank account, no paycheck. I did, however, finally have my pay stub in my email. I messaged my managers to (politely) ask what the fuck was going on, and the owner replied "There was a delay. It was my fault. It should be deposited tomorrow. I’m very sorry."

Like, it's nice that you're sorry, I guess, but a heads-up would have been appreciated! One of the other managers mentioned that she also had a delayed paycheck, so I know I'm not the only one, but no one bothered to send out any kind of text/email/message to give us a warning about the problem. 😡

This isn't the first time I've had issues getting my paycheck, which I've complained about on this blog before, and honestly if I thought I had any better job prospects I would have left ages ago. I wish I was close enough with my coworkers to start talks about unionizing, but given that I'm literally always scheduled alone (I work in a small store so one person can technically run it by themselves but imho it would be better with two) and I'm not very good at socializing to begin with, I don't see that happening anytime soon. Fuck managers, get your shit together or at least give us some warning when you fuck up.

My company did that to us a few times in the mid 90′s. And that was when they still had stores in 14 states and just bought another chain and gained 3 more states. And not one word was said. All of us just kept harassing the manager to get paid. The longest was a week and we got two checks at once. Then they pulled the BS of changing payday from Tuesday to Thursday without a word. Then Tues again then Thurs. Then Tues again and it’s been that for about 25 years solid now. But I really don’t put it past them to pull this BS again. This is the company that remodeled about 1/3 of the stores then declared bankruptcy so they didn’t have to pay for it and closed the stores that didn’t get the remodel.  

-Rodney

[bedlamsbard]

I posted 7,144 times in 2022

That's 112 more posts than 2021!

842 posts created (12%)

6,302 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@aurorawest

@cacchieressa

@bunjywunjy

@theavengers

@blackwidowhub

I tagged 7,087 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#mcu - 1,767 posts

#fandom - 596 posts

#natasha romanoff - 543 posts

#steve rogers - 459 posts

#loki - 391 posts

#daily fic snippet - 333 posts

#cats gotta cat - 318 posts

#roleswap endgame au concept - 269 posts

#mcu art - 255 posts

#it me - 220 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#and it was very clear that they had never considered that they might have a pagan student who was uncomfortable with some approaches to myth

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Caesar this, Caesar that, more importantly it’s also the anniversary of the day Theoderic the Great murdered Odoacer and, standing over the body, went, “This man has no bones!”

now that’s a Roman murder that actually accomplished something other than years of bloody civil war and the fall of the Republic because unlike SOME Romans I could name THEODERIC WAS ACTUALLY COMPETENT.

(ETA: no, no one knows what he meant by the bones comment either, it’s from a fragment of John of Antioch and that is indeed what it says Theoderic said.)

232 notes - Posted March 15, 2022

#4

the last couple years did weird things for my suspension of disbelief. you want me to believe a presidential scandal will actually have Results? nope. you want me to believe that a dinosaur amusement park where the dinosaurs have killed before and will kill again is open? yeah, that tracks.

270 notes - Posted November 23, 2022

#3

cause of death: trying to make the internal geography of Stark Tower make sense, something neither JW or the Russos attempted to do.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH EASIER THIS WOULD BE IF Y’ALL HAD JUST MADE UP A BUILDING FROM SCRATCH INSTEAD OF MAKING IT CANONICALLY THE METLIFE BUILDING WITH THE TOP WHACKED OFF

it’s fine! it’s fine! you could have at least filmed the lobby scene in the actual MetLife Building instead of in the Proscenium in Atlanta but it’s fine! I’ll make it work! I will ignore Endgame.

279 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

#2

given that Ultron learned about the Avengers from the internet I think it would be funny if the “God’s righteous man” comment is about some weird propaganda from a point while Steve was on ice and Steve has literally no idea what he’s talking about. he doesn’t respond to that because his whole brain is just ????????? about it. (the “pretending you can live without a war” bit he at least acknowledges slightly but he genuinely looks confused here.)

Steve has a whole separate list in his notebook for “ugh okay find out what someone said about me in [insert year here] because apparently it was Bad and it’s probably on the list of things I have to publicly denounce at some point.”

343 notes - Posted June 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

love to make my main couples bond by *checks notes* giving them matching panic attacks while they’re in completely separate places because one one of them has been kidnapped and the other one is frantically trying to find them

it’s possible I don’t know how to write romance

824 notes - Posted June 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[kuuyandere]

it's gonna be our 1 year anni on dec 19th! it's kind of nerve wrackin since I've never, before him, had a relationship longer than 2 months.... I actually heavily celebrated the first 3 to 4 month anniversaries cause I wasn't used to actually havin someone around that long... it makes me excited but also nervous and I have a fear of abandonment anywas hdjdhdjf

yea tbh I think the idea of a yandere for many is a hot fantasy. but its just that, a fantasy. not real. one of my exes met me in wantin a "yandere boyfriend" but once I started showin yandere tendencies and was unable to cope without talkin every single day and slowly spiraled into delusion due to it, it was too much, and he didn't even try to understand it. it's kind of funny, really. I told him day 1 I was delusional, there was signs of me gettin delusional and apologizin for it and him reassurin me once... but he suddenly couldn't grasp it in later stages when he didn't do anythin to improve upon the behaviour that made me delusional (ghostin me, basically), and he'd just argue with me all the time what I was sayin wasn't true, and that I was lyin... which hurt because I never lied to him. I only ever told him the truth... what I thought to be true and experienced. I literally have trauma of him vividly abusin me because of how far it got, despite at most all that happened in reality was some arguments and being ignored. wonder what it means when the delusional person is adamantly tellin you smth is true that you know to be false... hmmm idk what it could be! totally just a liar, right?

but yea, the yancore community is really nice and I've only received a couple hate anons, and they were really funny. just bein like. "You there. You. Stop that. what the Fuck. Stop." or makin wild assumptions of me despite literally only knowin I owned a yancore vent blog. like. no shit the vent blog js negative do u even go here. hskshdkdhd ~🎵

Congratulations, I am happy you are doing well in your relationship! I hope the two of you will be able to do something nice together this winter.

Your past relationship on the other hand was horrible, and I am sorry you were treated so poorly. It is hard when people close to you neglect and undermine your mental health issues, and I am sure that him ignoring and ghosting did not help with your fear of abandonment.

Getting hate anons suck, how do you deal with them?

[thinking-kaye]

HAPPY ANNIVERSARYYYY!

Well, belated. hehe. Yesterday, I got a notification that it's my blog's anniversary. Yeheeeey!

Now, I just finished scrolling through my past entries, and wow!! Just how long it has been. It makes me smile to see the messages I have for my future self. I also realized what a poet I was before. The words and idioms I used can be passed to our past subject "Narrative Journalism." HAHAHA.

Writing... has really changed my life. It became my best friend. Someone I can talk to when things get heavy, when my head can't handle the thoughts, and when my feelings are too much that this served as the bucket underneath catching those overflowing ones. I am truly, truly grateful to have discovered this art. It has literally changed my life. It enabled me to be able to materialize my thought and even sometimes, it serves as my reminder. Whenever I'm writing what happened about my day and I get to read it, it sometimes reminds me "You did this. What should you do? is this the person you are aiming to be? You are doing great, you should keep doing this."

It enabled me to be a better person. So I will keep doing this as much as I can. I will be doing this as long as I can. Thank you so much!!

And for my past self, Hellooooo! Kaye! I am from the future. You now love your course, No regrets. I can tell you have become a bit better, but, there's still a long way to go. I also saw the BSDC 1-A "Sign out" and now I'm in my 4th year! You did soooo well! I'm truly proud of you. However, there's still a long way to go and we will be doing the same. GROWING, IMPROVING, ADAPTING, SURVIVING, AND HOPING.

Now, for my future self. HELLO KAYE FROM THE FUTURE! I am Kaye from the past! Now in my 4th year of college but still finding my way in life. I still feel like a high school student. I still feel like I have a lot to learn. I still feel like I am bound for more. There's a famous saying now that's been popping up that would be perfect to describe what I'm talking about- "Malayo pa, Pero Malayo na." I don't know what the future holds (as we all do), but what I know is that you can do it, Kaye. It will be hard, as it should be, it's a cannon event, but just push through it. The only way is through. Just search for motivation quotes if it's too much! HAHAHA. I wonder when you'll read this? Will you be working already? do you have a boyfriend already? Have you traveled to a lot of places? How are you? please let your 21-year-old self know. Just know that I am already proud of you. I love you, Kaye.

Signing out, BSDC 4-A Kaye.

[shotorozu]

fem!reader who’s usually introverted and reserved, being an affectionate drunk

like she’ll want to give kisses to everyone but particularly katsuki/denki/shinsou (sep)

WARM HUGS!!!!!!!!!!! and more that you’d like to add <333

introverted reader being an affectionate drunk

character(s) : bakugou katsuki, kaminari denki, shinsou hitoshi

legend : [Y/N = your name] aged up because you need to be 21 to drink, f! reader at the request of anon, quirk not mentioned

note(s) : i’m sorry if i don’t write denki properly 🧎 but i tried my best here. anyways— i’ll be editing the ENTIRE blog, and i might even change up the theme. i just want to organize the blog :))

»»————-　♡　————-««

bakugou katsuki

he likes that you’re not too affectionate, well.. with pda anyway. you guys only hold hands in public

and even in private, you’re pretty tamed too

so when former class 1-A take their first drink of alcohol, celebrating their one year anniversary in the hero industry.

bakugou doesn’t really drink, because hello?? someone needs to be sober and take you home. it’s not safe to be at bars alone

he’s kinda shocked to see that when you’re intoxicated, your entire personality takes a 180

though yeah— bakugou isn’t visibly shocked when he sees you drunk

but he is surprised when he sees you starting to cling on him, in public??

yeah. you guys have been together since your second year in highschool. but that doesn’t mean he’s actually seen you like this

he’s groaning from this sudden action, gripping on your shoulders and shaking you— asking you to “get the hell off of him” but your response is to lean further into him NANDJW

katsuki’s very contradictory though, so don’t be mislead by his harsh words that easily.

while his nature is just being brass, and harsh— katsuki bringing you closer to him, enjoying the sudden affection you’re showering him in

his face only bloomed with red when you started peppering kisses on his forearm, but he decides to act smug about it until

“yeah, they’re affectionate. so what, extras?” he says that with a smirk, but his cheeks are crimson

but then you start cuddling onto yaoyorozu, rubbing your cheek against her shoulder, and he’s just there like 🧍‍♂️

that’s when he decides to take you home, because only HE can get your affection >:T

and he’s left surprised when you start kissing him

but he kisses back anyways, despite the strong alcohol in your mouth

“damn Y/N, didn’t know this side of you existed. it’s a good thing i fucking love you”

he doesn’t do anything though. he loves your affection, but he knows you’re just like this when you’re drunk

and he rather get your kisses when you’re sober anyway so 🗿

he makes sure to take off any makeup on your face with a cleansing pad (if you’re wearing any) and dress you in proper sleeping wear.

oh and he’s definitely gonna yell at you the next day, saying things like “you didn’t tell me you were like that when you’re drunk, shitty woman.”

and you’re just like ❓ not remembering anything at all.

kaminari denki

he’s over the moon

he was kinda down at first when he found out you weren’t so affectionate in public

but he gets it because not everyone has physical touch as their love language

so you guys just stick with quick touches and kisses (which is totally better than nothing.)

so you guys are drinking casually on a friday night with the bakusqud,

and you guys are talking— denki’s making you laugh, you and mina are just talking while you guys take in some beer

but then you start to get a little tipsy, which kinda lead you to do the funniest things he’s ever seen

and kaminari’s like “🤠 something to tease Y/N for!”

but he’s immediately silenced when you throw your head down on his lap— giggling as you hold onto his hand

kaminari’s like :00 but he’s also like.. omg.

we’re in public?? this is public affection

he takes this moment to accept the touch, as he’s drunk himself. but he never actually brings it to the next step because he wants you to be aware of your actions

and he doesn’t wanna take advantage of you! he may be drunk but he’s still conscious of himself

so yeah— he’s very surprised though because you’re usually collected with physical affection.

but ugh! mina and the others are teasing him about your sudden change of demeanor, and denki’s like..

“yeah! i didn’t know this side of Y/N existed!” denki says, his hand massaging your temple

but you start chasing after everyone in the bakusquad, starting with mina

and denki’s like “woah there :0” and bakugou’s just begging him to take you home

eventually he does take you home, but he’s kinda laughing his ass off because of the things you’re saying— it’s so different.

he does your skincare, because you’re nearly blacked out. and he can only laugh at your intoxicated reactions

and when you guys are finally relaxing on the bed, he’s cupping your cheeks— wondering the next time he’ll see that side

oh, and he’ll definitely teased you the day after— WITH VIDEO EVIDENCE!

shinsou hitoshi

you and hitoshi prefer staying at home more than going to bars every single weekend

but you were a little agitated from the excessive amount of hero work— so mina invited you to go out and get drinks with your friends!

and you think “hm.. why not. it might make me feel less pissy.” and you decide to go with them for drinks also.. don’t drink too much— especially when it’s a coping mechanism

hitoshi accompanies you because he wants to still be with you, and he ends up going for drinks with the rest

hitoshi drinks a bit, but i headcanon his alcohol tolerance to be VERY high. so even with 4 shots, he’s still very much sober.

so he doesn’t get drunk, not even the slightest bit of tipsy.

and he looks over at you, and he sees that you’re staring to become drunk.

so he slides over to you, asking you if you’re okay, as the good boyfriend he is.

your response was to wrap your arms around his shoulders, burying your face into his arm— hiccuping

hitoshi’s surprised at first. the usually introverted Y/N that steers away from public display of affection

is clinging onto him

he’s fine with the fact that you’re not very big on a lot of physical affection, since he’s not very into a lot of pda too

so you guys just stick to holding hands and resting a hand on your back. but HUGS?? LIKE THIS?? he’s ascending

he immediately regains his composure, grinning and admiring you that signature smile of his— holding onto you with one hand

denki’s just on the sidelines like 👁👁 “they’re hugging!” and he’s just so proud

but he gets concerned for you eventually, since you start wandering around— latching onto midoriya

midoriya’s literally red. but he’s also really apologetic, and shinsou can’t even be mad because you’re literally drunk to the point you don’t know where you’re going.

so shinsou takes you away, walking over to get a cup of water— and handing it to you, rubbing your back as he urges you to drink some water

“i know you’re agitated, kitten. but you had too much to drink.” he tells you calmly— as he assists you with walking, holding your hand as you guys walk home

he takes off your makeup (again, if you’re wearing any) and he finds himself admiring you when you cling onto him like a cute little kitten

then, he plops you on the bed, throwing the covers over you— whispering the sweetest things in your ear

“sleep well, Y/N.”

before he could walk away, you call after him— you sit up as your hand grips on his wrist. “toshiii.”

“what is it?”

“please kiss me.”

can he reject your request? no.

he walks over to you and kisses you, his hand resting on your nape— and he feels exhilrated from the sensation

but he pulls back, “you smell like alcohol still.” he teases

you frown, and go under the covers “good night.” hitoshi can only chuckle by this action.

but he sneaks into bed with you, spooning you— as he luls you to sleep

(he doesn’t go to sleep though, because he’s using this time to be thankful for having the privilege to date you.)

no shinsou, we’re lucky to date you

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing

do not plagiarize my work :))

[atlasshrugd]

Hi seeing as you seem to be the only sorta active britin blog I can find lol I wanted to ask you about some of your favourite moments for them, as I'm kinda new to the fandom whatevers around lol, and would like to hear peoples thoughts on them if you don't mind answering 😊

Hey there! Sorry I am answering so late, but WOW this is a big ask because there are SO many favorite moments.

So I have narrowed it down to my Top 5:

1. Prom (obviously)

Okay this is a no-brainer. This is literally the most romantic sequence in all of television history. I still have not found something more beautiful, moving, triumphant, loving, and groundbreaking than when Brian and Justin danced to 'Save the Last Dance for Me' at prom. Obviously barring the horrific events of what followed, this scene transcended all stereotypes and barriers and allowed us as the viewers to feel pure happiness and pride as queer people. I remember seeing it for the first time at 14 and feeling so unadulteratedly happy and validated. This was a scene of two gay people unapologetically showing the world that they did not give a shit what anyone thought of them. The only thing that mattered was this thing between them; this unspoken understanding, solace, love, and pride. I still moves me to this day whenever I watch it, no matter how many times I do.

And of course we must talk about the implications of Brian's character in this scene. Throughout season 1, he has been an emotionally stunted and cold individual who does not believe in love, relationships, or trying to make other people happy. Here, in the finale, we see Brian finally putting away all his ego bullshit ("I wouldn't be caught dead in a room full of 18 year olds"), and going out of his way to make someone he cares about happy. The fact that he even showed up at Justin's prom is a direct U-turn from the moral principles he has been reinforcing all season. And by dancing to a "ridiculously romantic" corny song, waltzing, and kissing Justin in front of everyone without giving a shit — that is pride. That is one of Brian's long-accustomed walls tumbling down.

"And don't forget whose taking you home and in whose arms you're gonna be..."

2. When they make love for the first time after the bashing

Now these scenes...how do I describe the sheer profundity? After Justin's bashing at prom, Brian is left in shambles. He blames himself for everything, and it is just further proof that Brian's love always causes further destruction. Justin has lost all memory of that night at prom, and this is one of the big tragedies. Justin had promised that he'd never forget it, and that it was the best night of his life. That proof of Brian's love that he had for so long been longing to experience — has disappeared as if it never happened. Now, Justin's confidence and surety of the world has been distorted. He is no longer sure of anything, including himself and Brian. He needs reassurance and things spelled out for him.

When Brian and Justin sleep together for the first time after the bashing, it is not like all the other times they had sex. This, in fact, is the first time they make love. Justin is telling Brian that he trusts him wholeheartedly, enough to allow him in his body again after his own agency had been ripped away from him. This is where Justin absolves Brian of his guilt. He takes the blood-stained scarf off his shoulders, lets it fall to the ground. He gives Brian the forgiveness that Brian cannot offer himself.

"Like the first time?" Brian asks, because it is the anniversary of their first meeting, but at the same time—it is nothing like the first time. Now, they are not strangers. They are more acquainted with each other than they have ever sought to be; know each other in such profound depths. They are forever linked by this thing they have both experienced, but it is not just that shared trauma. It is based off deep understanding and love. They have, somehow along the way, become more each other than themselves. They know that they have become irreplaceable and inseparable parts of each other. And Brian has been holding onto that guilt for so long that it has become rooted deeply within him. SO when Justin absolves him of it, Brian allows himself to truly feel for the first time since the bashing. He gives himself to Justin, in that moment, as Justin gives himself to Brian. It is a brilliant and tender scene of trust, devotion, acceptance, and absolution. Something they both needed to soothe their troubled souls, and a new basis for their relationship.

3. When Brian helps Justin walk down the street after the bashing

Again, this is Brian showing nurturing, care, patience, compassion, and selflessness to another person. Justin trusts him enough to rely on him, and Brian doesn't take this trust lightly. These are some of the sweetest scenes of the whole show, because this is when Brian is completely focused and devoted to Justin. He wants to help him, more than anything, to get better. And he accepts and takes up this role of carer, not because he has to, or because he is obligated or forced to. But because he will do anything to ensure that Justin will be okay, and that he gets the life he deserves.

Specifically, my favorite scene is when the song 'Grand pianos crash together, when my boy walks down the street...' is playing. Justin is walking through a crowd and Brian has his arms outstretched. When they come together, they hug deeply and easily. This scene is so simple and pure, so chaste, but it shows the true essence of their relationship, beyond all the facades and bells and whistles. At the heart of it, Brian and Justin care about each other more than they care about themselves. They have established a stable foundation of trust that they can rely on. And it also perfectly encapsulates just how far Brian has come once again. He is showing such selfless care and devotion to a boy in public daylight, kissing and hugging him and not wanting to let go of his hand. Season 1 Brian would have never even considered that. This just shows how much the events of the prom changed him, and shows how his desire for responsibility of another person has matured him. He had been forced to face his inner feelings, fears, and truths. Now, they are out in the open for the first time and Brian accepts this. This alone is a huge development.

Brian is also afraid to let go of Justin. When Justin says he can walk back himself and says 'Later,' Brian repeats it apprehensively as he holds Justin's hand until he can't anymore. Then, he watches Justin go, walking through the crowds. The look on his face is wistful, a little troubled. He hasn't wanted to face just how much he enjoys Justin's presence and how much happier and content he is when Justin is with him. He hasn't wanted to face just how afraid he is to lose Justin again. Their words of 'Later' are a direct mirror of their last words on prom night, just before Justin got bashed. Brian had watched Justin walk away, too. And a second later, he was gone.

4. Pride

This is probably one of my all-time favorite scenes in television ever. I have cried each time I've seen it. There is something so pure, essential, liberating, triumphant and tender about this scene, and the song that plays (Chiquitita by ABBA) certainly shows it. Firstly, Justin accepts Brian in his entirety and doesn't expect him to change. He knows how much Brian has been devoting to Justin in his recovery, and how strange that role is for Brian. Here, he tells Brian to 'go find a stud, ask him to dance,' — because he knows how much Brian has been sacrificing for him. This alone shows Justin's maturity and inner strength. He loves Brian, so he will not try to change him or shackle him. He wants Brian to be free to choose and live the way he wants, and that is what he fell in love with.

But when Justin shows this sacrifical and detached love for him, Brian realises that there is nothing he wants to do; no one he wants to be with more — than Justin. He is aware of the myriads of choices he has. But he chooses Justin. (Technically, for the first time, perhaps aside from prom. But even at prom, he had been running from something [turning 30]. Here, he chooses Justin without pressure for the first time.)

So, he follows him outside. He ask him "Hey, stud. Wanna dance?" Justin doesn't believe him at first, because he is not used to Brian choosing him by his own volition. He cannot imaging Brian passing up getting laid, especially after being celibate for the whole day. He also feels like a burden; like Justin's recovery has been inflicted on Brian, stopping him from living his life normally. Justin loves Brian enough to let him be free, but the biggest part? Brian loves Justin enough to choose him in that freedom.

So this marks another checkpoint in their relationship. Not only is there trust, understanding, and love — there is also desire. Sure, they have always desired each other. But this desire is not the physical kind or one born out of loneliness. This is desire for the other person as a whole. This is desiring another person's company because theirs is the only company you want. This is desiring to be with someone when there are so many other options. This is real desire — the kind that originates from the heart and not the flesh.

"I promise you won't forget this one." Brian is promising Justin that this dance will be theirs, just theirs. Not to stick it to anyone, to show anyone anything, to make some kind of point, or to make somebody happy. This dance is theirs, for the reason that Brian wants Justin to have this: this moment where Brian only wants Justin, where he dances with him simply because he wants to. And he wants Justin to have this memory, to overcome all the vague blurriness of their past. He wants this dance to be the one he remembers when he questions himself. And so they dance, and they sway, and they kiss, and they press their heads together, and the lights are bright and colored on Liberty Avenue, and everywhere people are free and joyful, and there is nothing to prove, no one to run from, nothing to hide. Their arms are wrapped around each other and the sound of 'You'll be dancing once again...and the pain will end...you will have no time for grieving...' tumbles through the air and all around them. 'But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you.' Now: there is nothing to be afraid of, and everyday life is full of reasons to be alive. To be proud.

5. Their reunification

This is one of their main checkpoints. This scene is the moment they finally become equals. Justin had left Brian for the reason that Brian could not give him what he needed to be happy, which was: reassurance. After the bashing, Justin lost all sense of who he was. There was a huge gap in his memory, therefore a huge part of himself he could not claim. He had lost partial use of his dominant hand which took away the only thing that gave him solace; his drawing ability. He was no longer sure of anything and needed things spelled out for him. He needed to talk about it. 

But Brian was not willing to do that, because he himself was struggling with trauma from the incident that he did not want to face. Where his love language is in acts of service (letting Justin live with him, paying for his tuition, helping him recover) — Justin needed to hear the words. He needed verbal affirmation to prove that he wasn't crazy and just projecting his feelings onto Brian. He could no longer trust his own perception and interpretation of things whereas in the past he could read Brian's mixed signals easily without needing confirmation. This is the part Brian failed to understand. He was not willing to concede his identified notions of 'relationships' and 'love' — no matter how far he came. He had not accepted that his feelings for Justin were love, and that scared him. So he refused to compromise with Justin, believing that his actions were enough when they weren't. But all Justin needed was to be heard, and for someone to love him enough to give hime what he needed sometimes (which was, verbal and emotional affirmation).

So their relationship ended, and Justin thought he could get what he needed from Ethan, which proved to be another big lie. So at the end, Justin still cannot trust his own perception, but — he finally knows what he wants.

He comes to the realization that while Brian could not give him the words, he gave him honesty. He learned from Ethan that words without action had no meaning. So he prioritized what mattered more to him: hearing that Brian loved him? Or, knowing that Brian loved him. So he chose honesty.

And this is when they could get back together without that imbalance and insecurity.

"And you are never to play violin music in my presence again." This single line is the only thing Brian needed to say to indicate to Justin that he was hurt by Justin leaving. Brian has been putting up a front of indifference for their entire break up, only indulging in pain management in private. Justin leaving him irrefutably hurt him more than he could have ever anticipated. But he did not show it.

So, Justin smiles — a little nod of awareness — because that is all Brian needed to say. And he says, "I promise."

"And it's time...that we...grow old and so some shit..." plays in the background (Lover's Spit) as they start to undress each other, because they are now on the same playing field. They have no illusions, misunderstandings, and misinterpretations anymore. They are starting anew; a little older and a little wiser than before. Brian knows how painful it is to lose Justin. Justin knows how skewed his perception had been, because he had been so caught up in his isolation that he could not see the truth of Brian's actions.

But they both know at least one thing: that life is better together than apart.

Tbh I could go ON and write a dissertation about each of these individual scenes, but I hope this made sense and gave a little more insight on these scenes and characters. Thank you for the great question!

[evarcana]

Taking it out on you

Ev attends the court meeting only to learn that sometimes the second impressions are just as bad as the first ones.

characters: Ev Panopolis, consul Valerius and brief appearance of Volta

words: ~3k

warnings: alcohol (as expected)

notes: On some point I gave up on the idea of Ev being the apprentice, as she just does not have this "MC energy". So this is an introduction to her story, because there is no better way to celebrate the 1 year anniversary of this blog than to remember that a very long time ago I used to write fanfiction.

It has been almost a month already. Almost a month since she came to Vesuvia, almost a month since she was told that her services were not required here. The thought makes Ev frown, but she keeps a quick pace, the sound of her impatient steps on the marble floor echoing through the palace corridor.

It is just before eleven o’clock, and the last of crisp morning sun pours over the rich mauve of lustrous silk drapes and the gold leaf of intricately carved murals, drawing out the warm scent of orange blossom and beeswax from the polished panels of precious wood. Vesuvian palace is exactly what she was promised - a great wonder, and yet Ev doubts it could give any lesser impression while the backdrop to its striking opulence is the city torn apart by disease and grief.

There are no servants or visitors in sight, and Ev’s only company in this seemingly endless corridor are paintings on the walls, depicting what she can only guess are some of the proud moments of Vesuvian history - people and places so foreign to her.

She does simple math in her head: two months and two days ago she was marching down the corridor of a very different palace, eager to be on time for the meeting with Crown Princess Nafizah despite the quite literal last minute notice, and not knowing yet that she was about to hear details of this so-called diplomatic mission.

Back then it sounded straightforward enough. Prakra couldn’t ignore the news of Count Lucio's tragic death, not least because that meant Princess Nadia, the youngest daughter of the Prakran royal family, was left widowed and with the daunting task of handling the red plague epidemic in Vesuvia all on her own. Any ruler could do with an extra pair of hands and any country could benefit from the alliance with Prakra, especially in times of crisis like this. And it would have stayed straightforward if only the discovery of Countess Nadia’s mysterious illness and the unexpected, unreasonable, outrageous hostility of Vesuvian court did not bring this crisis to the whole new, now personal, level.

In theory, Ev did not have to deal with any of that. She could use the excuse that it was only appropriate to deliver such unsettling news about Nadia in person, go back and forget everything that happened in this palace like one of those unpleasantly bizarre dreams you get after a night of drinking. But Vesuvia was still the city Prakra cared about, Nadia’s city, and as far as Ev knew none of the people who came to be in charge of it were appointed by her. Prakran diplomatic presence was perhaps the only way to look after Nadia’s interests until she woke up. Even if Ev had no actual power over the court, returning to Prakra without accomplishing at least something felt like a failure, and failure has never been an option for Ev. With that in mind, she pressed the seal with enough force to imprint Prakran royal crest on the desk and not just on the drop of red wax marking the envelope, and stayed.

Now, after a month of living in the city, she has learned to see that there is more to her new role than just misfortunes. Her relocation allowance is generous, her new place is nicer than what she had in Prakra and she is getting rather used to the convenience of the wine shop next door. Even if parts of it are foreign and unwelcoming, Ev feels at ease in Vesuvia. The tension in her body relaxes, and she thinks maybe this palace can eventually get used to her too, but the thought faints away as soon as she sees the salon door. Ev presses a pile of papers closer to her chest and tells herself that she can think about everything else another time - the court meeting is about to start.

She pushes the door open but immediately freezes on the spot stricken by the gagging wave of nausea - nails dirty with soil and blood, sickly sweet buttercream pastries and rustle of feathers covered in mud. It is no more than a faint impression but even through the fogged mind Ev recognises the feeling - it is vestige, the afterimage of magic. She has felt it before, many times and in many different forms but never has it made her feel physically sick. What is even more unusual is that such a revolting sensation is coming from the palace quarters. One would expect tingles of bubbles from the charmed fountains of never ending sparkling wine or at least the impression of whispers, premium tea, treacle and bitter ambition from the walls which have been magically given ears, and not... whatever this is. Ev draws a deep breath, pushing down into her diaphragm and looks around the room. The salon is not set up for the court meeting, instead there is a tray of food and stacks of empty plates towering on almost every flat surface. Her eyes stop on greasy remains looking terribly out of place on the delicate porcelain plate and she unconsciously covers her mouth. Maybe she is mistaken after all - it is the strange smell of food and not some kind of creepy magic, and, more importantly, maybe this is not the salon she was looking for.

Before Ev gets a chance to mentally blame the chamberlain for giving her the wrong directions, a tiny figure appears from behind the chair. The white cornette is instantly recognisable and Ev is about to ask procurator Volta whether she is here for the court meeting too when she sees that behind the commotion of dark robes Volta is frantically trying to push the whole roast rack of lamb down her mouth. Dear gods. Somewhat unsurprisingly, one of the bones appears to be stuck. Clearly having not expected to have an audience, the procurator widens her eyes at Ev in a mixture of terror and shame. Unable to speak, after a few incoherent squeaks, she throws her tiny hands in the air helplessly, spattering herself with gravy and gestures to the open French doors leading to the balcony. Without giving it too much thought, Ev gives Volta a quick nod and takes an opportunity to escape the awkwardness of the scene.

Wrapped in the soft shade of the balcony, consul Valerius is casually leaning back in the chair, with the usual glass of wine in his hand. Even before she reaches the doors, Ev sets her eyes on his face. The consul is looking away, his face carved and unmovable, the tight knot of dark eyebrows making him look ireful and disgruntled, like one of those statues of stern gods she saw growing up in Zadith. Her next step lands much quieter and then, there steps in, Ev stops and stands very still wondering what thoughts could possibly bring this storm to Valerius’s face. Sun would suit him much more, she thinks, her eyes curiously trailing down the golden glints of his hair.

A loud snort catches Ev off guard and she realises that Valerius is now facing her, looking considerably more displeased than before, no doubt because of her. That’s more like it. How could she forget that this man is the very cause of her problems.

“Could I please have some of your time, consul?” she asks, heading straight towards him. Greetings seem excessive, they didn’t necessarily part on friendly terms last time.

“I didn't expect to see you here again.”

Ev allows herself a smirk. “I know.” I am not here to do what you expect from me. She stops inches away from his chair looking down at him, apparently enjoying the close proximity which, considering their formal relationship and the consul’s well known bad temper, could be regarded as both highly inappropriate and potentially reckless. But Valerius only turns away, more interested in his drink than in her.

“I have been studying the treasury records,” she continues, searching his face for any kind of reaction. His lips curl up in a sneer as he takes a sip of wine, but his eyes are still firmly fixed on the horizon. Ev follows his gaze expecting to see some radical change to the surrounding landscape, but there is only faint outline of the city roofs behind the lush green of the palace's vast grounds, - no columns of smoke, no ominous looking storm clouds gathering in the distance, nothing that could possibly be more interesting than her. Whatever. “Your tax system - ,” she hands Valerius neatly arranged papers, which he completely ignores,“- it is not working.”

“Vesuvian tax system remained largely unchanged for the last two generations, this is how these matters are handled traditionally,” says Valerius, once again denying Ev courtesy of eye contact.

Ev’s mouth twists at the sound of the last words. Too worried the conservative mindset might be contagious, she quickly withdraws her hand and takes a step back.

“I trust you understand that sometimes one should focus on what works, and not what is traditional,” she says, doing her best to disguise the growing irritation. “You don’t attract nearly as much foreign trade as you used to.”

What comes next is a very profound, uncomfortable silence. Ev sighs.

“Consul, you had plague in the city, people died,” her voice is louder now, “lots of people died”, and the irritation is obvious. “And Vesuvia cannot exist without its people. Somebody needs to bring food from the farmlands, make clothes, teach children, attend to the sick. Yes, in the past you could always import whatever you did not have but now people are scared to come because of the plague. You -”, she pauses in anticipation noticing Valerius shifting in his seat, but he only reaches for the bottle to top up his glass, “- you need to do something to make it attractive for them again. Lower the customs, lift the taxes for people whose skills you need, sell empty real estate cheap. There is plenty all around the city!”

Deep down Ev knows that none of these is going to work long term, but she doesn't care - she wants to do something and she wants to do it now.

Yet, nothing changes. She is still standing there, and he is still looking away. Ev would prefer him to disagree, start arguing with her - anything really, as long as it breaks this silence.

“Fine! If you don’t feel like changing this traditional system of yours, even temporarily, at least fix your mistakes.” Ev starts chaotically flipping through the papers searching for the one she needs, which would be a much easier task, if she was less flurried and if Valerius offered her a seat. She wonders whether he is now watching her, sneering at her struggle. “Your approved accounts, here,” this time she brusquely puts the paper in front of Valerius’s face blocking his view, “your numbers do not even add up! ”

For a split second she sees something on his face - a twitch, a flick of rage, and thinks that she has gone too far. But his question comes out in a calm, almost disinterested tone: “What makes you think that somebody like you is even qualified to check the city’s budget approved by the esteemed procurator Volta?”

A moment passes before Ev is able to break from staring at Valerius in disbelief. She glances to the salon where, judging by the sound, Volta has freed her mouth only to move to the next dish. Seriously? Perhaps she should be impressed that he managed to say it with the straight face.

And then there is a chilling sensation at the pit of Ev’s stomach. She asks herself what is going on here? What is this city under the reign of a person who questions everything and everyone except the obvious mistake in the accounts? And what is she - ? Angry, she reminds herself, is what she is, and throws a look at Valerius, who is taking another sip from his glass as in triumph. You don’t need to be qualified, you just need to have common sense. And you, Valerius, either don’t have it or you were not even bothered to look at what your court approves.

She pictures him lazily drinking wine, legs on the desk, his shirt unbuttoned, while completely ignoring his state duties. The image is irritating and yet not entirely unpleasant.

“We both know that I come from a family of alchemists and merchants. Trust me, I know how to count,” she says with a smile. It sounded right in her head, a ridiculous answer to the ridiculous question.

“I thought that during our last meeting you said that you had nothing to do with your witchcraft family.” A perfectly raised eyebrow, and that infuriating smirk.

Ev opens her mouth in protest but gives up quickly. Those were her exact words after all, save for the witchcraft part.

She begins to pace around the balcony avoiding looking at Valerius as much as possible. The consul clearly has a way of getting on her nerves, and she needs all her concentration if she wants to explain what exactly will happen to this goddamn city if they carry on with this approved budget.

“Think about the consequences for the people if this mistake is not corrected!” she shouts, her voice much louder than she would like it to be, and quickly turns to Valerius expecting a blowback. But the pale eyes are looking down, studying something on the floor, or on the edge of the fabric of her long sleeve, she really can’t tell. Oh gods, he is not even paying attention.

***

Valerius has firmly decided that he is not going to pay any attention.

The time of plague was exhausting: the palace suddenly full of people of all kinds and intentions promising to find a cure, pleas for help on the streets which he could not escape even behind the doors of the most expensive carriages, the count who was growing more desperate everyday and the white smoke of the Lazaret carried by the sea breeze towards the city, the memory of which still haunts him. And now there is the Satrinavas’ new pet here having an audacity to talk about his city’s problems - the problems which, out of all people, he should know the most about, he is the consul after all, and a Vesuvian.

Vesuvia he inherited is haggard and sad, and on top of that an enormous responsibility. The last thing he needs is a stranger questioning his authority, as if the incompetent court and the city demanding their beloved countess back have not been tiresome enough. Valerius lets out a short, barely audible sigh. He just wants this farce to be over so he can go back to thinking.

But the witch is not planning to stop, if anything she seems to be enjoying it. Look at her. Absorbed by herself and her ludicrous ideas, she is loud and talks too much with her hands. Her dress keeps slipping down the shoulder draping around the soft curve of a half barred breast every time she does one of these unnecessary, overconfident gestures. Valerius has absolutely no idea whether this is deliberate or she is simply unaware of the indecency which keeps drawing his eyes.

He tries to distract himself by taking a drink of wine only to discover that his glass, just like the air around him, is full of this loud perfume of hers. Harsh cinnamon, incense and patchouli, very much alike their owner, have no concept of the personal space ruining the perfect balance of his red. The wine is not helping. He catches himself looking at the shoulder again. In fact, absolutely useless. He sets his unfinished glass aside on the small table. Valerius has had enough.

***

“Enough!” Valerius shouts. His voice is suddenly deep and rather forceful and Ev hates that it has the desired effect on her. She stops and looks at him. “You were not invited to the court meeting.” The consul’s face looks awfully angry now.

Ev narrows her eyes. “And what exactly are you doing at your court meeting?”

“That should not be a concern of the Prakran subject”, Valerius says, his words dripping with poison, “or whoever you are.”

“I am a diplomatic emissary -,” she does not get a chance to finish.

“Leave!”

Ev wants to scream and protest, but even she knows better than to yell at somebody who outranked her. She draws a breath. One, two, three. All right.

“I only came to give you the papers”, she says coldly, her eyes still locked on his, and leans forward to place the documents on the table. “But I am taking this away, one should work without the distraction of wine.”

With these words Ev snatches the glass from the table, turns away and heads toward the exit as fast as she can without breaking into running. She does not want to look like she is scared that Valerius will grab her by the arm. If anything she is slightly disappointed that he doesn’t.

“My regards to the court,” she raises her hand and waves the glass in the air without looking back. Behind her there is a sound of paper being torn apart.

***

Ev only slows down when she reaches the main staircase.

Suddenly feeling very tired, she leans against the handrail. Again, what is she doing here? Why did she need to turn up in person when she could send a letter? Ev closes her eyes and rubs her fingers together as if feeling for answers in the whorls of her own skin, and remembers about the glass in her hand. Another bad decision. It would have been wiser to take the bottle.

She raises the glass to her lips and breathes in the wine. It’s pleasant. Perhaps she would prefer its company to the boring palace affairs too. Ev twists the glass in her hand, eying the smooth rim before drawing one long sip. It leaves a blush mark of her lips firmly planted on the surface which she studies for a few seconds. “You better be as angry as I am now”, she says to the dark liquid at the bottom of the glass.

[tsurangaconundrum]

doctor who s13 flux spoilers under the cut 

DAWG. it is 1am and i finished watching flux and damn. im not proofreading for shit and also i’ll probably go back and redo this entire thing later

i’m starting this w the caveat that i enjoyed watching it. i think the dialogue was well done and i like bad television and this was so stupid. ooooo it was so stupid delicious. sometimes television sucks and it makes me never want to hit the bricks. 

okay anyway. my issue with flux is that it sux. the big backing of this the larger mystery was that of the doctor’s history, the division the planet time etc right. but i think it was unnecessary. like SO unnecessary. its the same as like when they brought gallifrey into the s12 finale. i think the siberium and the lone cyberman could have made a really compelling finale fight on their own and examined the doctor’s priorities very interestingly. it literally did not need the whole the doctor is the origin of timelords stuff it threw on the end for what? to undo the master’s character development? but. i digress. this post is not my bone with season 12. this is shit talking season 13 :) 

a major portion of the anti war messages of literally all eras except this one, was that the doctor was just a man. granted a man with superpowered brains and technological knowledge and the ability to regenerate, but it was just the doctor, popping in. even when he got too big in season 6, he made himself forgotten, because at the end of the day he was still just a man. the message of the oncoming storm was about his reputation as a singular person. 

thee the day of the doctor, 50th anniversary episode was at the end of it all about the choices you as a single person can make. like it was a STRONG anti war message by placing the emphasis on the choices of a person, rather than claiming genocide as an inevitability or even right, we watch the regret the doctor lives with. the regret he refuses to let pass on to the young uh whatever the red sucker-y thing. ZYGON. okay anyway young zygon disguised as clara yeah anyway. strong message. emphasis on the doctor as a singular person. interesting and not really done before. fucked hard. god that was such a good episode. 

and then (okay amybe im reading into one off lines too much but i find it doubtful because 1. im already a supernatural blog reading into lines is all there is to that and 2. i have a feeling that its gonna come up again later because we do still have 2 more episodes to go right?) the doctors mom (gardener lady, forget her name but it was like the tiktaalik) was like you’re an opposing force, about the doc and the space geode villains. sorry i forget everyones names im bad w names anyway and its 1 am. the whole arc and fight and claim to fame with the being the start of the time lords feels very the doctor is a natural force for building and creation (the geode lady’s speech to them about how they fear destruction most but she doesn’t understand why) (the doctor being pulled out as “the only one who could do anything about it) (the entire s12 finale). liek theyre building up to this idea of the doctor as a god. 

BUT THAT GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING THEYVE BUILT. it goes against all that doctor who created its very foundations are about quotes like 900 years of space and time and ive never met anyone who wasnt important. its the amy clara youre important because youre intrinsically special rather than rose martha donna youre important because you exist. if you make the doctor a god if you make the oncoming storm true rather than just the reputation of one man doing their best, youve defeated doctor who. youve eaten yourself you fuckign idiot chibnall. 

any fucking way. tldr by making the doctor cosmic larger than life force to be reckoned with rather than a guy who built himself up and is kind of a doof (+ the help of being from an advanced civilization) they’ve demolished their own messaging. they’ve rendered their political points retroactively inert. im choosing to pretend this season doesnt exist except when i want to go tee hee three doctors hi ladies

[mikrolactaki3]

I’m Back...

It’s been long since I last blogged here. I left my last post in June. Since then, I tried to focus on different aspects of life, and of course, my university life which was time we headed back to campus.

Those aspects featured summer, which was too demanding for me. I spent endless hours at work. Missed my game until I found the time to head and play. By the end of July, I came down with a cold. Wasn’t Covid by any means. Early August featured wildfires across Greece. My country was in danger. I couldn’t handle the drama we all were going through back ‘en.

September was slightly better than August, thinking I would try out something else. But yeah. It was the time when I got hooked on watching news non-stop. Don’t take me seriously. In the meantime, I was either playing both Sims 3 and 4. That “something else” phrase, is meant by trying out different techniques in terms of gameplay and/or CAS. So I did.

---

I was obsessed at one point, until the day I headed back on campus. Strange coincidence was that the day when 5th term started, for me, was my 20th birthday. October 11th. So yeah. I was caught in the hardest challenge of my entire academic years. Too many projects couldn’t let me play my games, and I didn’t like how much pressure we were put as students when we had to work on some (for different courses) at the same time.

Really demanding. This four months for me (October - January) were really challenging. Class non stop. From 9am to 9pm on some days of the week. Literally no time to focus on other subjects. So I studied few, depended on the amount of notes I had to take during the session. Resulted in being inactive from the game most of the time, and sharing only from my laptop, to continue my laptop save.

Whenever I had time, I felt like sharing creations I had ready beforehand. This does not only mean houses. But sims I had assigned perks before. No, I don’t wanna start from scratch, but play them day by day, assign them the most perks I could, resulting in a final state. Sometimes, doing outfits is a state too. On some, I did only everyday outfits, and depending on the packs I use for them, I go ahead and do their other outfits.

This frenzy brought out some interesting bugs I had never seen before in game...

---

But now, I’m on a less demanding term with one large project ahead of me. Sometimes, I am getting in game, and proceeding with my laptop save. Whenever I feel like it. Soon, I’ll be having my 1 year anniversary. On April 17th. And, in honor of that day, I will share a special creation to celebrate it. Probably a build as I have many pending.

In July, I had my laptop upgraded by having an SSD added to it. This upgrade, unfortunately, featured the same lag on both Sims 3 and 4 (TS3 not that much) and so far, 5 blue screens of death. Nothing was damaged. Nothing, absolutely nothing. This year I may get a stronger laptop, mostly a gaming one. May get it by the mid-end of the year. September to December. Not sure when. I’ll let the summer go by...

Anyways, I’m finally glad to be back into the game. Blogging and sometimes sharing some of my creations.

- Joanne

[discoclubofvenus]

Kissing headcanons w/Hinawa, Victor, & Maki

Warnings: nothing short of a little cussing

Genre: Fluff 

Gender: Neutral

A/N: I may or may not have enjoyed writing these a bit TOO much! Nonetheless I hope you enjoy these headcanons! 

╒══════════════╕

    TAKEHISA HINAWA:  

╘══════════════╛

Hinawa is the type to have those kisses that leave your mind blank, heart fluttering, and lungs breathless

Each time he kisses you, he’ll wrap his arms around your whole body and hold you so close to his body that you’ll be able to feel his heartbeat (or at least that’s the sentiment behind him holding you so tightly) then he goes in for the kill

He also knows that his kisses will leave you weak in the knees so that’s why he holds you like that lol

What makes these kisses so effective in ko’ing you in (1) move is the fact that he chooses the times you’d least expect these types of kisses!

It could be when he’s going to separate from you before going to fight fires (which he kisses you like it’s the last time he’ll see your beautiful face)

It could be whenever you’re fresh out of the shower, or right before training

Or when you’re in the middle of rambling about your day

Like I know this man keeps his lips moisturized so expect to taste a little mint on his lips

This lowkey surprised you whenever you had first kissed him (you expected them to be a lil chapped lol)

You had known Hinawa for years of working in the military and specialized force together. From co-workers to comrades to ending up as lovers (although he did reject you a few times). It was all worth the hurt and pinning as you had finally gotten together with Hinawa (once he mustered the courage to finally ask you out after rejecting you). To say you were shocked that day was an understatement but we’ll save that story for another time. Now, you were happy to be with the man but….you guys had yet to kiss and you guys were 4 months deep in the relationship (granted you still kept to your duties).

This was something you were determined to change, so while you guys were cooking for the brigade you decided to lean over and give his cheek a little smooch. Ya know, as a job well done! However, Hinawa turned to talk to you and was met with your lips (homebody was pleasantly surprised). He pulled away after like 10 seconds tho lol

He hit you with a “This is inappropriate workplace behavior.” and walked away, but then came back and gave you a kiss on the corner of your lips (what a bastard)

He won’t be up for smooches in the workplace unless you’re either about to separate for the night or he’s completed a day’s work early (But everyone has to be asleep or away from the station!)

You could probably sneak a kiss in while you guys are cooking for the rest of the brigade

Or anytime you guys are alone, although he will tease you by acting oblivious to your advances (inappropriate behavior headass)

KISS THE BACK OF HIS SHOULDER AND HIS EARS AND HIS FOREHEAD

Just to show that every part of him is appreciated and that you’re behind him every step of the way

Did I mention that even his pecks will leave your heart flipping as if it’s competing for Gold in the gymnastics Olympics? No? Well you’re gonna hear about it

He pecks to show you a little appreciation

Think of his pecks like little hearts!

If you’re ticklish, his pecks will definitely have you giggling a little

His kisses are smooth like whiskey in a way that he goes straight for the kill and you can still feel his lips on yours a while after kissing him

It would be up to you if it’s a delicate little kiss or a rough passionate makeout session

His favorite place to kiss you is the corner of your lips, your collarbone, and the palm of your hands, (you cannot tell me otherwise!)

╒═══════════╕

      VICTOR LICHT

╘═══════════╛

SOMEBODY GET THIS MAN SOME VASELINE BC HIS SHIT IS C H A P P E D  

He’s a mad scientist who only takes care of his BASIC hygiene

The type to always playfully back away whenever you try to kiss him then when you get annoyed he’ll give you smooches

“What?? Is that all you wanted (n/n)? All you had to was say so! Now look at you, all mad with no kisses”

Take away his kisses since he got a slick ass mouth

He’ll literally tail you with a list of excuses as to why he needs your kisses to get a proper hypothesis done and conduct thorough research and then he needs them as motivation to go test his theories

Like aight, damn here are your kisses you big goof

I’m not saying you should run your hands through his hair when you kiss him but that’s exactly what I’m saying

In fact, kiss his throat to let him know that he’s always welcome to speak his mind but then kiss his lips so you can shut him up

He’ll kiss your hands (as dramatically as possible), then he’ll pull you in...wrap an arm around your waist….and kiss you.

He’ll flick your forehead after kissing you as well

Another way he likes to kiss you is by keeping both hands in his pocket and leaning over to kiss you (mans be tall)

Or when you’re sitting in his lap as he rants about his research

This man loves some tongue action

Like you could give him a peck but he’ll whine about you ‘not kissing him right’ then pull you in for a makeout session

Occasionally you’ll feel him put his hand on your cheek….or the other cheeks

He’ll grab said cheeks too if the kiss gets heated

Like that’s y’all’s first kiss went lol

Observing Victor in his natural habitat of an organized mess filled with nothing but notes from his research always amused you. It was the only place you could see the brunette become so excited and display such passion towards his goal. You usually just examined him from afar, but today was different. Today he was actively discussing his research with you and the results he got from it. No longer were you in the background, this time you were at the forefront. Which incidentally was how you occupied his thoughts. It didn’t take too long (but it certainly took a while) for the both of you to connect the dots to a complicated puzzle that was related to his goal. “Do you know what this means (f/n)?” “I do, but I’m going to play dumb so I can listen to you explain it with that sexy brain of yours” and right after those words left your lips they were swallowed up by Victor’s lips. A kiss so fiery and intense had you wishing to be burned.

Victor will 100% kiss you after getting satisfactory results from either seeing his theories be correct or he finds new clues

He gets handsy with these kisses

AND HE DOESN’T CARE WHERE YOU GUYS ARE HE’S SMOOCHIN

You guys have kissed in the shower (y’all know he be thinkin HEAVY in the shower)

Depending on his mood you’ll get fiery kisses that make you think he is an ability user but for the most part, his kisses are pretty lazy

He adores lazy mornings where he can wake up to you kissing him all over his face (those feathery light kisses)

He’ll also tug on your bottom lip after a kiss and then complain about how he’s oh so hungry (take it as you will)

╒══════════╕

        MAKI OZE

╘══════════╛

Flustered baby is flustered

Anytime you lean in to give her a smooch she gets so red (omg please call her your little strawberry)

Surprise kisses will fluster her to no end!!

She’s always so hesitant to kiss you because she doesn’t wanna mess it up

Nevertheless, her kisses are filled with nothing but adoration and love

Once she gets into the kiss is whenever she gets bolder

After you guys are finished kissing she’ll hide her face in your chest and let out the cutest little whine

This is completely different from when she gets huffy or full of passion

Expect these kisses after fighting a fire, when she’s finished training, after dinner with her family, when she gets jealous, when she gets the hang of controlling her little fire sprites..

She’ll even try to surprise kiss you! (She’ll still get shy riiiight before kissing you)

Did I mention she loves kissing you? Well, she does!

Her favorite places to smooch you are definitely your neck and cheeks (That way she can easily hide her face)

YOU ARE OBLIGATED TO KISS HER CHEEKS AND HER NOSE (I made the rules and you have to follow them, you’re on my blog!!)

She’s the type to kiss your fingertips during a moment of high intensity and she doesn’t know if you guys will make it out alive. Moreover, when she can’t properly convey all of her emotions so she kisses your fingertips while closing her eyes in a moment of serenity then she looks into your eyes with such intensity and--

Thankfully your first kiss together wasn’t during such a life-threatening moment but it was definitely after training the rugra--I mean Shinra and Authur

Walking through the fire station always calmed you down, however, your mind was all over the place with worry! You couldn’t seem to find Maki, despite texting and calling her phone. You knew she had to be at the fire station or else she would’ve been with you celebrating your 2 months anniversary! Hearing the sounds of your girlfriend shouting and the grunts of pain following after gave you your answer. Well--at least you were right in some aspects. Walking towards the noise, you were met with Maki standing over the two newbies. Seeing her in all her glory made your heart go into palpitations. Once Maki noticed you she started making her way to you with a loving glow in her eyes. “Oh! (F/N)! What are you doing here?” you didn’t even have it in you to answer her as you leaped into her arms. Giving a quick peck to her cheek then one on her lips you huffed in satisfaction at her expression “Happy 2 months silly!”

Safe to say you guys had a lovely day and she kept asking for kisses  

Her lips always taste like some sort of fruit from her chapstick

She also likes kissing your cheek while you guys swing your hands back and forth

When baby is upset give her some forehead kisses (It’ll help her calm down)

She likes to have her kisses be short and sweet but sometimes she’ll let her lips ghost over yours after a makeout session (what a tease)