#literally hb!nero's story

[nero-vanderwolf]

Mementos.

God, Ryuji fucking hates Mementos.

Dark and dreary and full of evil things that formed in the collective unconscious of everyone. It’s oppressive and cold and Ryuji has to fight his memories along with Shadows.

At least his friends come with him, at least he and Makoto fight together, at least Ann makes sure they don’t run themselves into the ground, at least Joker keeps a cool head when dealing with powerful Shadows and hostage situations.

Ryuji has been the bargaining chip in way too many hostage situations.

Things... shift when Akechi comes with them. Now he’s fighting alongside someone he would rant about, someone he used to despise.

It’s awkward, sure, but Ryuji is determined not to let that affect how they fight.

So when he (rather unceremoniously) pushes Akechi out of the way of an attack, he thinks nothing of it. It keeps the darling Detective Prince out of the way of danger- that’s all that matters.

Protect. Attack. Dodge.

It’s a steady rhythm, one he’s good at. One he can follow. One he can keep up with.

He’s good at attacking. He’s good at protecting. He’s... decent at dodging. He can duck out of the way of physical attacks, at least. That has to count for something.

When Akechi catches his balance, he gives Ryuji a dirty look that goes completely ignored. Ryuji is too busy blasting the Shadow to smithereens with Captain Kidd.

He knocks one down, gets a chance for a follow-up attack. He passes the opportunity to the guy he just shoved.

Akechi’s hand smacks against his, and Ryuji notices the way he almost winces. If he feels a pang of guilt for accidentally hurting a teammate, no one has to know.

Akechi summons Loki, finishes the job Ryuji started, smiles in satisfaction.

They move on, further and deeper into the place Ryuji fucking hates.

As the rest of the team moves towards the escalator down, Akechi turns to Ryuji.

“Don’t fucking push me like that again, Skull.”

Ryuji falters, hearing the venom and malice in Akechi’s voice. He turns around, trying to find some clue on Akechi’s face as to why he seems so pissed.

“Dude, I was just tryin’ to help. I took the blow for you, didn’t I? You coulda, I dunno, told me in a nicer way that you didn’t want me to do that. No need to get hostile,” he says, hiding his hurt.

His worth as a Phantom Thief hinges on how helpful he is to the team. If he can’t save his own teammates, how can he be expected to save people by changing their hearts?

He couldn’t save Shiho, he couldn’t stop her from jumping. He couldn’t save Mishima and the volleyball team, he couldn’t save them from being beaten black and blue. He couldn’t save his mom, couldn’t stop his dad from slamming her head against the wall and screaming at both of them-

“Skull? Oh my god, do you do this every time someone says something you don’t like?”

Ryuji looked up from the floor, head swimming. He was going to be sick. This place was bringing his worst memories to the surface, forcing him to remember all of the terrible things he had endured.

“...This place is going to make me throw up,” is all he says before turning on his heel and stumbling down the escalator.

He has barely enough time to warn the others about how he feels before he’s careening forward, world going darker than Mementos’s bottom level.

i love ryuji having a sort of "survivors guilt." he couldnt save people before so he deticates everything to saving his friends now. he probably feels like akechi is being an asshole to him trying to stop him from putting himself in harms way to save his friends but he really does care about him. he doesnt want him to get hurt because of other people but ryuji feels like he will only get worth from that.