#literally followed by 'this is the most brilliant game ive ever played and it will shape me as a person for decades to come' 5 minutes late
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On a scale from 1 to 'has been listening to Violent Ceasefire from the MGS4 OST on a loop for the last hour and sobbing haltlessly whilst baking gingerbread' how well did you cope with that cutscene at the end of MGS4 ACT III?
#bro the more often i rewatch it the worse it GETS#the way Eva searches for just the smallest hint of Ocelot of ADAM#the man she's known for half a century and probably one of her closest friends now#the way you can see that sth else lurks below that cuntycampy facade of Liquid Ocelot#those miniature moments of grief and rage and a glimpses of a brilliant mind slowly unravelling behind the facade#the way the only thing that Snake knows to do when in blinding crippling pain is to call out for Otacon his one light in the darkness#'the only choice left to us is death' bro that line...u cant tell me there wasn't some ocelot peeking through there#i can literally feel my brain breaking i am not going to survive the end of this game#i hate mgs. i love mgs. i could not live without it.#this game really makes you go 'what the fuck is this bullshit why am i playing this kojima no'#literally followed by 'this is the most brilliant game ive ever played and it will shape me as a person for decades to come' 5 minutes late#blob plays mgs4
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spoilers for episode 2 of the fall of the house of usher
the end of episode two is just a masterpiece kinda
before i get into the meat and potatoes, this show is very interesting just in the way its formulated. we have a plotline in 1980, when madeline and robert are young, a plotline in the recent past, following all of our tragic bisexual kids' deaths, and a plotline following dupin and robert's conversation. theres so many layers to every conflict in this show so far, and i love it.
we're told from the start of the show that roberts kids will all die. this is already interesting, instead of it being a twist, we're told from the get-go. instead of being surprised at a bomb going off, the writers tell us the bomb is there, making it all the more interesting seeing it go off.
towards the final moments of episode 2, perry is having a conversation with verna, and she warns him that its not too late to stop. this isn't perry's last warning, it's ours. more media-savy viewers couldve guessed perry would die at the end of the episode, but this is our confirmation.
perry's death is ultimately a tragedy. throughout the episode, we see his brilliance. he's smart enough to manipulate his peers into whatever he sees fit, clever enough to rewire a "watering" system, and cunning enough to get some of the most influential people ever into a single one-night orgy. his smarts, his intelligence could've gone towards anything. he could do anything he wants, napoleon says so. but he focuses his time into something this meaningless and inconsequential. but everything has consequences, thats something verna says.
after our warning, our premonition, we're pulled back into the party. wicked game by the newton brothers begins to play, and that is when shit goes nuts. the camera movement is fast, eccentric, making damien chazelle's camera quake in its boots. and on screen, hundreds of people fucking. its a moment without thought, people are consumed purely by carnal desire, and its simultaneously beautiful and disgusting. then the rain starts to fall, but its acid.
the people, previously connected by sex, are forced together as their skin melts together. their screams are unheard, they are simultaneously together and more alone than they ever were. perry's brilliance, consumed by desire for sex, is melted and conjoined with the other bodies in the room. its the scariest thing ive ever seen flannigan make. ive never felt this uncomfortable since a similar scene in nope.
its brilliant, poetic, tragic, and gory and fleshy.
sorry for my rudimentary pointless pretentious essay i literally couldn't sleep until i wrote this stuff down.
#rudimentary pretentious essay#the fall of the house of usher#fall of the house of usher#fannigan#flannigan#mike flannigan#wtf
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2023 completions
welcome to the 2023 edition of my ramblings about video games i completed this year!! including even more unwanted opinions and even less coherency
total games: 37
09/01 - Sam & Max Save the World - 8/10
sam and max, freelance police, begin a long string of investigations involving hypnotised celebrities, sentient computers, and conspiracies that go all the way to the TOP, baby
startin the year off good game wise then!! tbh i started this one in 2022 but it didnt make that list cause i just.. wasnt in a game playin mood towards the end i guess fghj but anyway!! really liked this one, ive seen a few mutuals who like this series so i was excited to play it and it was a lot of fun :] defo an old school point and click game and i rly liked the main characters themselves and the supporting cast!! glad theres another remaster i can jump into right after this one
11/01 - Dark Pictures Anthology: The Devil In Me - 8/10
the crew of lonnit entertainment are invited to a recreation of the infamous murder house, the stomping grounds of americans first serial killer, h h holmes. they are hoping the location will help save their documentary, but will you be able to save... THEIR LIVES??
i feel like every dark pictures game becomes my fave dark pictures game as they come out, but this one really was Very Good. i can confidently say this is probably the most scared ive been while playing a supermassive game Ever. the characters, while dysfunctional, grew on me a lot over the course of the game which made keeping them alive even more nailbiting :’] speaking of, the deaths in this one were Particularly gruesome imo, just from a concept standpoint, so big kudos for that too!! my only gripe is that i think the new “features” such as puzzle solving and traversal mechanics just artificially prolonged the runtime without actually adding anything to the experience
15/01 - Sam and Max Beyond Time and Space - 7/10
even more weird shit is afoot in the second sam and max game, this time our duo facing off against T-H-E-M, the bermuda triangle, and satan himself!! ... or was it santa??
2 sam and max games in one month, this may have detrimental effects on my brain :’] but really, i liked this one too!! not as much as the first, but i still liked the characters and overall story, i liked how it all connected to both the previous game and the events through this one. i found some of the puzzles a bit more difficult and obtuse, but they were still fun. another fun point and click game (tho somewhat dated in some cases fghjk)
18/01 - Sherlock Holmes: Crimes and Punishments - 5/10
the game preceeding sherlock holmes: the devils daughter, which i completed last year, follows the titular character once more, solving 6 of his cases along with his partner dr john watson
eh, not much to say about this one. i certainly prefered the devils daughter, but that one was also kinda meh fghjk. with this one being an older game, the graphics and gameplay were a bit more janky, and i guess theyd changed voice actors for sherlock since this game cause i didnt like his voice in this one tbh. that being said, mystery wise id say its abt on par with the devils daughter. yeah, again, not much to say really :’]
24/01 - Psychonauts 2 - 10/10
a mole in headquarters, an evil from the past is rising again, and even MORE figments hidden in really obscure places... another day at the psychonauts office :V raz once again must delve into various brains to figure out what the Fuck is goin on
okay this game was literally so fkn good in every aspect. visually stunning, amazing story, brilliant characters both new and returning... GOD!!! what the first game did well, this one blew it CLEAN out of the water, i loved it a lot!! like idk what else to even say, it was just such a solid game i cant think of much to critisise :’]
04/02 - AI: The Somnium Files - 3/10
kaname date works for the police force for a department unknown to the general public, using groundbreaking technology, he delves into the minds of suspects and uncovers clues using their own memories. when a body shows up resembling a victim of a serial killer from a cold case, he begins his investigation
... man... spike chunsoft rly just know how to make characters that grate on me fghjk for starters ill praise the original concept and interesting story (when it finally got around to being revealed), but i disliked/was uninterested in most of the characters and thought the tropes they kept using were annoying and just plain weird. im not fully sure Why this game was a branching path type game since it never really plays into the plot and the main story could have easily been told with a single storyline. overall, didnt rly enjoy this one, but what can ya do they cant all be winners :’]
13/02 - Sly Cooper and the Thievious Raccoonus - 5/10
sly cooper, youngest descendent of the illustrious cooper thief clan, had his familys secrets stolen when he was just a lad. now he sets out to retrive what was taken from him and beat up some bad guys as he does
i gotta commend this game for the humour and the creativity with it, and im defo lookin forward to playing the rest of these games based off this one, but i think this first entry suffers from a lot of Jank that made it quite frustrating to play :’] also, there wasnt any way to mute anything except the music or adjust the volume so it would routinely blow the FUCK out of my eardrums. that bein said tho, still fun, very quick game, but im keepin it a low rating cause im expecting to like the later ones better :’]
26/02 - Hidden Agenda - 2/10
the infamous “trapper” killer makes a final confession while counting down the days on death row, claims he never killed anyone and he can help lead the police to exactly who did. detective becky marney must investige this case one more time and decide if hes lying, or if the killer is still afoot
im so so SO sorry to my friends who like this game but besties.... why fghj for starters i was locked out of playing it for almost 2 years when the app you are REQUIRED to use in order to play this thing just stopped working, and when i finally did start playing the jank didnt stop with just the app. the whole game seems to be a broken mess with textures flickering in and out, characters walking thru solid objects, its MADNESS. the story and characters are so.... not interesting :[ it takes only 2 hours to do a full runthru of the story so i never rly grew to care abt them and theyre so flat anyway that i didnt Want to. if it wasnt so clearly rushed i think itd be good, and some of the acting is actually rly stellar, but overall...... its a no from me
04/03 - Minecraft - minecraft/10
its minecraft
technically i already got the plat ages ago but this year i finally got the coveted 100% so.... yeah ;w; i mean we all know what minecraft is so like...... idk what to say abt it guys, u already know how good it is (tho the console version is Vasty inferior to pc)
05/03 - Death Stranding - 8/10
after a world ending catastrophe dubbed the death stranding wiped out modern life as we know it, humanity is scattered across america. its up to sam porter bridges, post apocalyptic delivery man, to travel across the country and unite those that remain
depsite how confusing this game was, and how slow it was paced, and how fkn damn weird it was half the time, i still had a lot of fun playing it :’] i enjoyed the characters, tho wish certain ones had more limelight, i enjoyed the actual gameplay, tho by the end game i was finding it a bit Too repetetive, and i found the story rly interesting, when i could understand what was going on fghj so basically for every good thing i liked, it was countered by something, tho they are fairly small things. also the ending cutscene is an hour n a half long and i was fkn 3 am when i was finally allowed to exit the damn game so, u know, beware of that
10/03 - Ratchet & Clank - 7/10
young mechanic ratchet, with his new buddy clank, join the galactic rangers in stopping the blargs from destroying countless planets in order to build their own
another game thats been on my backlog for ages, im glad to have this one done and dusted :’] i certainly had fun playing it, but i feel like it was a bit Too kiddy in some places for my personal taste (dialogue and humour wise that is, but since this was also made by insomniac of spiderman fame, it makes sense) and after a certain point the game becomes piss easy with all the upgrades u get, but i still enjoyed it
03/04 - Sly Cooper 2: Band of Thieves - 5/10
sly and his pals return to their thieving ways after learning that the infamous klaw gang have begun reassembling parts for slys arch nemesis; clockwork. they travel across the globe to stop them
man my descriptions are getting worse fghj but anyway, as with the first game, i rly enjoyed the characters!! and the music, and... thats pretty much it. i really dont know what it is about these sly games that i just cant seem to enjoy the gameplay but i Really Really dont have fun while playing them :[ which is a shame cause, like i say, great characters that id like to spend more time with. if this was supposed to be the best in the series, i think im gonna give the 3rd and 4th games a miss for now, but maybe ill come back to them in the future
29/04 - Last Day of June - 7/10
a short game depicting a young couple named carl and june, and the tragedy surrounding their relationship
this game doesnt actually have a plat, which is something im trying not to be too picky about going forward in terms of playing games, but even tho this game was super short i really liked it!! the story is rly simple but incredibly sad, and even though theres a lack of “voice acting” in the traditional sense, there was still a lot of great emotive acting in this. that being said, the fact some of the voices sounded so odd detracted from the seriousness of the plot sometimes, and the actual gameplay was kinda boring, but still a solid short game :]
29/04 - Predator Hunting Grounds - 1/10
DO NOT PLAY THIS GAME
OH THE AGONY OH THE PAIN OH THE HOURS OH THE WASTED YEARS THE WASTED YOUTH THE PRETTY LIES THE UGLY TRUTH
and i dont like it >:[
03/05 - Linger in Shadows - 1/10
this... isnt even a game apparently
i had it on my list of things to check out while i had the ps plus premium thinking it Was a game, but its not. its a strange kind of “art” thing according to the guide i used. i didnt rly know what was going on fghj. certainly a unique experience i suppose but nothing id recommend u go out of ur way to do, even if it takes literally 10 minutes to get all the trophies (no plat either)
08/05 - Kurushi - 2/10
ps1 puzzle game, another one from the ps plus catalogue
not much to say abt this one again fghj seems like these last few games have been kinda duds huh :’] ah well, theres certainly better games on the horizon i suppose. as said, this is just some puzzle game from the ps1, janky controls and all. the music is surprisingly good, sounds almost like disney instrumentals :’] not that fun without assisstance tbh
09/05 - The Gardens Between - 6/10
a very short puzzle game following 2 friends exploring a strange series of islands that tell the story of their friendship
when i say short i Mean short. like even without a guide i got this completely done in 2 1/2 hours, and that included me leaving the game on while i went to get something to eat from the kitchen. that being said, its a very cute game!! i enjoyed the puzzles, the style is nice and Capital-I-Indie, the musics nice and relaxing. the story was also nice, if sad, (can i say nice a few more times??? nice nice nice nice) but i just think this game is Wayyyy too short dfghj i think a lot more could have been done with it :’] glad i didnt pay the full £15 for this as it would have been a bit of a rip off
09/05 - Nelson Tethers: Puzzle Agent - 8/10
fbi agent tethers is sent out to the minnesotan town of scoggins to investigate the local eraser factory shutting down
damn we’re just flying thru em now huh! ive actually played and 100%’d this game before on steam, as well as its sequel so i suppose im a little biased :’] but i rly like this game!! another short one, and another puzzle one, but i rly love the art style and story, as well as the puzzles being fairly simple but still fun!! its a shame the second game never made it to ps or id complete that one too but yeah, fun and simple puzzle game, defo recommend :] like most games like this tho, i wish it were longer
11/05 - ABZU - 6/10
you are a diver on a journey through the ocean, discovering the creatures that inhabit the waters
short n sweet indie game (anotha one) and this one was pleasant!! i rly liked the style and music, the story was simple but told fairly well, and just overall a nice game :] beyond that, not much to say tho fghj defo a very pretty game, and id recommend if you have an interest in marine life n such, but beyond that its pretty bog standard indie game
11/05 - The Pedestrian - 5/10
a short puzzle game where you traverse various signs as the tiny person within them
pretty straight forward puzzle game with a Weird ending that i dont quite understand fghj but overall it was enjoyable :’] most of these quicker games ive been playing lately have been super quick puzzle games so i might be getting burnt out on them, but even then i can appreciate the creativity of this one. its also another game with no plat which, considering it came out not 3 years ago, is kind of annoying
14/05 - Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons - 4/10
two brothers venture on a quest to find medicine for their sick father
another short puzzle game, with a pretty interesting feature!! you control each brother with an analogue stick each, which can make coordination in some parts quite tricky if ur me fghj overall a pretty decent game, the story was kinda meh for me but i thought the gameplay was interesting, not much else tho
20/05 - Bloodborne - 6/10
the town of yharnam is crawling with beasts and hunters alike. fight through the corrupted streets and discover the fetid depths of this city and all the inhabitants trying super duper hard to kill you
im editing this from when i first wrote it after immediately finishing the game because i was cranky and frustrated because i cant in good faith give this game a score lower than 5 (mainly because i know the fromsoft fans would dox and kill me). this game is visually very nice, in the sense that it looks Horrible, which fits the vibe. the gothic style along with the monsters are really unique and detailed to the point where some of them are hard to look at. that being said, i personally didnt like this game. at all. i know on a “technical” level its very good, but i struggled for a Long Time to “git gud” as it were and surprisingly, dying a million times because you cant dodge within a 1/2 second window before being stun locked to death GREATLY decreased my enjoyment of this game. and thats all im gonna say about it :V
21/05 - Black Mirror - 4/10
following the suicide of his father, david gordon returns to scotland from india to inherit his familys estate. however, there are strange mysteries surrounding this house and the family who occupy it
pretty short horror/puzzle game that was pretty light on both the horror and puzzles fghj tho this game had a surprising amount of animation that looks fairly good which was a nice surprise. the characters were fine, and the story started out quite interesting but just felt a bit... weird. especially the ending, the final climax is basically just a bunch of qtes that ends really abruptly with little push back from the villain :’] for a free game i guess i cant complain too much
23/05 - Vampyr - 8/10
dr johnathan reid, recently turned vampire, has just returned home to london after serving as a field medic during the war. the streets are crawling with rogue vampires, and an epidemic is spreading quickly through the city, all while johnathan is searching for his maker
FINALLY A GAME I ENJOYED. GOD. okay so this was surprising because ive heard a lot of people call this game p mid, and maybe id think the same if it wasnt preceded by a whole bunch of Crap ive recently played, but here we are!! i really loved the chracters, i thought they were all fun and interesting, even the ones we dont meet for too long, and i also found the story super compelling!! the game Does have a bit of jank to it, with weirdly long loading times (even on the ps5) and the occassional graphical error, but otherwise i rly enjoyed this one :]
31/05 - Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart - 9/10
seperated after dr nefarious begins ripping holes into other dimensions, ratchet and clank must team up with another lombax named rivet and stop the universes from collapsing altogether
man this game was so fun!! i got the whole thing done and dusted over the course of 2 days :’] the writing was still a bit cheesy for me, and as implied the play time is Outrageously low for the steep price (which i thankfully avoided cause ps plus), but the gameplay itselt was Incredibly fun and engaging!! defo a huge step up from the first game in this reboot series. i also rly loved rivet so that certainly helped :’]
02/06 - Lake - 5/10
meredith weiss, a successful programmer, moves back to her childhood town of providence oaks to fill in her her dad at his post office job. deliver mail to the residents of this lakeside town and decide how meredith wants to end her 2 week stint
pretty cute indie game i got through ps plus, i kinda wish the whole thing Was just a post delivery simulator :’] the characters are okay, the storys okay if a little eh.... i wanna say Loose?? like the plot beats (if u can call them that) feel kinda boring n half arsed. theres also a random romance option in this which feels?? out of place and doesnt actully impact anything that much. overall its an okay game, like i say the thing i found the most fun was driving around delivering post but maybe thats just my autism showing :V
13/06 - PowerWash Simulator - 10/10
i mean... kinda does what it says on the tin guys
is a 10 a bit generous?? maybe. do i particularly care?? absolutely not. this game is a 10 if ever there was one. i truly dont know how else to sell this if the idea of cleaning stuff with a powerwasher isnt immeditely appealing to you like, maybe You’re the problem :V this game also has a weird amount of lore?? which is also v fun fghj so do with that info what you will
19/06 - LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean - 7/10
a lego retelling of all 4 pirate movies, with all the usual lego bells and whistles
pretty typical lego game, so the gameplay and stuff is p fun!! ive actually never seen these movies so i didnt rly know what was goin on half the time, especially because this is an Older lego game so theres zero voice acting in this. i also had quite a few crashes and bugs while playing where i had to restart either the level or the whole game, which got annoying during the cleanup grind. overall tho, cant go wrong with a lego game tbh
17/08 - Chicory: A Colorful Tale - 9/10
after all the colour in the world disappears out of nowhere, you must go on a quest across the picnic province to restore it using a magic paintbrush
you may notice the significant time gap between the last game and this one and uhhhh ngl folks i was Not Gamin dfghj i was Tired n a lil Sad but eh what can ya do, but this was a great game to come back with!! absolutely loved this one, super adorable art style and gameplay that reminded me a LOT of toem, very similar vibes but this game is much longer imo. id give it a perfect 10 if the collectibles weren’t so horrid to find fghjk but other than that cant recommend this one enough!!
29/08 - Observation - 7/10
dr emma fisher wakes up after the space station on which she resides undergos a catastrophic failure. take control ships ai, S.A.M., and attempt to reboot the systems and find the crew, who have all mysteriously disappeared...
rly quite liked this one!! the fact u control the ships ai is a pretty interesting feature and made the interface really cool and sci-fi lookin, defo alien inspired on that front. i liked the story, even if it Did get a bit confusing, and the voice acting was also pretty stellar!! gotta dock points for some classic indie game Jank, and the fact that there isnt a whole lot goin on gameplay wise (p much entirely minigames that arent that well explained to you that u only end up doing once) but the story and overall eerie atmosphere rly saved it for me
31/08 - OMNO - 5/10
short indie game where u travel through a mystical world, solve puzzles, and meet extraordinary animals
theres indie games and then theres Indie Games, u know?? this is the latter. and thats not a bad thing!! it just means its kinda... predictable. usual fare of no voice acting, gorgeous music, simple but stylised graphics etc etc. it was pretty cute and the puzzles were fun, but some of the controls felt a bit clunky and like i say, a little boring story wise imo (but maybe ive just played too many of these types of games). perfectly middle of the road :’]
03/09 - Tacoma - 7/10
you have been sent on a mission to retrieve the ai from a ship where all the crew have seemingly vanished (sounds a bit familiar huh?? all sci fi is the same (affectionately)). explore the ship and piece together what happened to everyone
anotha one, anotha sci fi indie game :’] rly liked the story of this one!! and it was an interesting mechanic to be able to view scenes of the crew via an AR system, and then also view their files and such. despite their limited appearances, all the crew members were interesting and unique, and no spoilers but it made the ending and its lead up a lot more exciting and intense. gotta dock points for how Glitchy this game was, it crashed at one point and started stuttering so bad i had to restart it manually, and also for how short it is. still, good story, good characters
06/09 - Chicken Police: Paint it RED! - 8/10
a gritty noir point and click detective game where u play as the infamous sonny featherland, one half of the crime fighting duo, chicken police. after a nervous dame shows up on his doorstep about her mistress recieving vague threats, he realises hes gotta take just one last case
anthropamorphic detective chickens..... played TOTALLY straight, mind you. like i was actually totally blown away by this game fghjk its Completely voice acted for one, and its Pretty Fuckin Good voice acting too, the story and mystery is Really interesting, the world its set in is super gritty and deep despite how little its kinda touched on through the story, i was very surprised!! i think the ending and reveal were a bit uhh.... abelist, not to get too into spoilers, but for a noir story i guess its par for the course. still, enjoyed this one!!
08/09 - The Testament of Sherlock Holmes - 5/10
a mutilated bishop, a deadly poison, and some other shady bullshit, its another sherlock holmes game
this is actually the oldest game in the series thats avilable on ps, ive kinda gone about playing these in the exact wrong order :’] that being said, i do think this is my Least favourite of the 3 ive played thus far. like crimes & punishment, this game also has plenty of jank, and the voice acting is a lil ehhh stiff for my taste. the puzzles were fine, the story was fine, overall just Fine. this game follows 1 case rather than multiple like its sequels do
10/09 - Garfield Kart: Furious Racing - 4/10
basically a mario kart clone but with garfield :]
now i am not one who loves racing games. in fact i suck quite badly at them. so u may wonder why i have a racing game in this list and well?? im ngl i bought this game as a meme and it ended up being so hard i had to put it down for a while dfghj BUT i came back to it and after hours of sweatin and gamer rage i DID IT!!! but at what cost. the game is fun, it looks nice, tho the only real garfield references it Has are its racers, the courses are kinda bland and generic. also the trophies...... my GOD the trophies..... not even a plat btw hhhh anyway if u like racing games check it out but if u Dont then DONT
17/09 - The Last of Us: Part 1 - 8/10
in the fungusy zombie apocalypse, smuggler joel is tasked with taking an immune girl, ellie, to a group of freedom fighters to create a cure. a remake of a remake :’]
obviously its good. i mean cmon. i remember watching a playthru of the OG og game wayyy back when so i kinda knew all the plot beats, but playing it myself in this beautiful 4k ps5 remake was Glorious (dont get me wrong, i think it was totally unnessesary to remake it AGAIN but it do look pretty). i can certaily see why this game has such a cult following and got the reception it did. maybe a Tad overhyped?? maybe a tad. but still good!! gameplay is solid, story is solid, characters are solid, whats not to like?? docking points for the frankly OBSCENE price point (luckily i got mine Mega cheap but go-LLY)
03/10 - The Last of Us: Part 2 - 10/10
after a devastating loss, ellie begins a gruelling quest for revenge and runs the risk of not only losing the ones she loves, but herself as well
i mean. fuck me guys. fuck ME. if the first game is good then this one is straight up glorious. the story is Vastly improved, so much tension and grey morality and Bone Deep Agony, emotionally and physically. its just such a hugely better game, both story and gameplay wise with a Bunch of new features and they arent afraid to take you to Extremely dark places with characters we already love and brand new ones too. this games going to be sitting with me for a long time i feel
and thats it for 2023!!
kinda fell off the gaming wagon in the final few months of this year due to a variety of reasons, but lets hope i can keep gettin games off the ol’ backlog in the new year :]
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12 ‘Unpopular’ Viddy Game Opinions
I’ve seen this topic floating around a lot, but didn’t think I had enough ‘unpopular but maybe not’ opinions about games to make a post. Turns out I do! So if you see this and I say something blasphemous, remember it’s just my opinion and my personal experiences with the games I list. Hope you enjoy or hey, maybe even agree with some of this!
Note: Can’t stress enough. This is just me. Also, spoilers under the cut!
12. The opening of Kingdom Hearts II isn’t as terrible as everyone says
Okay, so it’s not brilliant, but at the same time, I don’t think it’s the worst. For those not in the know, KH2′s opening is a basically a massive slog where you play as a character you don’t know or care about with seemingly no real link to the events of the previous game. The general consensus is that there’s some interesting stuff in here, but it’s buried among endless dialogue that really doesn’t mean much. And they’re right, but I really think there’s some great stuff here that people tend to gloss over. The music and the motif of Twilight Town is atmospheric, there’s some genuinely intriguing plot elements that are woven into Roxas’ story and believe it or not, the stuff that happens here is intrinsic to the rest of the game. So yeah, it drags on a little, but I don’t think KH2 would be miles better without this opening.
11. I loved Breath of the Wild’s final boss
One of the problems I see talked about with Breath of the Wild is that the boss fights are fairly mediocre, especially the very last one, Dark Beast Ganon. And I couldn’t disagree more. I think every boss in the game is wonderfully crafted, intense, challenging and great for testing you on what you’ve learned throughout the game by encouraging you to make creative use of your slate powers and the flurry rush technique. And while Mr. Pig Man at the end here is sort of easy and short, it serves as a brilliantly epic finale to damn near perfect game. While the difficulty is mostly gone after the mammoth fight with Calamity Ganon, it’s still just as intense as you frantically fire off arrows into the massive beast in front of you. Plus, the design of this thing is one of the best looking monsters in the game, so I really don’t understand the dislike for this ending.
10. I really like Crash of the Titans
Okay, so maybe childhood nostalgia has something to do with this pick, but every Crash fan I’m aware of seems to hate this game. But I don’t really know where the hate comes from! I played the PS2 version of this and I thought it was a genuinely fun 3D platformer with a variety of locations, good visuals, well-designed boss battles and even a vague story you can sort of follow! The game’s main gameplay feature is also brilliantly integrated, as using Aku Aku to possess various monsters throughout the game keeps everything interesting. One thing I will say though, that tiger dude you have to fight about halfway through is the most annoying thing I’ve ever had to endure in a game.
9. Life Is Strange: Before the Storm is BAD
I loved Life Is Strange when it first dropped, so I was beyond excited when they announced a prequel from Chloe’s perspective. But I really think they dropped the ball and they dropped it hard. But everyone else seems to adore this game! For me, this wasn’t a touch on the original. For a start, they dropped out one of the main mechanics of the first game, the time travel, which they then replaced with a much less interesting ‘Backtalk’ feature, which was then only used about twice throughout the game. Instead of interesting, developed characters reacting to genuinely dangerous or heartfelt situations, it felt to me like a bunch of one-dimensional teenagers who are edgy for the sake of being edgy. Chloe spends the majority of the game being a dick to her mother and bunking off class to spend time with Rachel, who she has literally known for like a day and their sudden relationship drops out of nowhere. Not that I didn’t enjoy the emotional moments of their relationship, it just didn’t feel like it stemmed from anywhere, unlike Max and Chloe from the first game. And the game’s attempts at villains were also rubbish compared to the first, with Damien (random scary knife guy who doesn’t really tie into the plot that much) and Eliot (who doesn’t appear for the whole game and suddenly goes full incel on Chloe when she breaks into Rachel’s house). Yeah I think you can tell I had some problems with this one.
8. Dishonored: Death of the Outsider was also a hot mess
I LOVE the Dishonored series. The first game and its DLCs are amazing, the second game was arguably even better. And then this happened. In this one, you play as Billie Lurk, a character I love, and Daud comes back, a character I also love. But both of them are incredibly badly written and it doesn’t feel like there’s any development to them or even much reason for them to do what they’re doing. This entry took the mystery surrounding the Outsider and basically did a big poo on it, giving us the revelation that he was apparently HUMAN this whole time. I think that was the nail in the coffin that made me sort of think this was a bit rubbish. While the combat and side missions were as brilliant as ever, the level designs felt less creative than other entries in the series and lacked variety or colour, all the side characters were entirely forgettable and to wrap it all up, they killed Daud offscreen. Out of nowhere, they just killed him, mentioned it offhand in a cutscene and that was that. If you like this game, fair enough, but it kind of baffles me that more people don’t see this in the game.
7. Mario Galaxy 2 is good. It’s just sort of good
Some people cite this as being one of the best 3D platformers of all time, and that’s fair enough, but I just kind of see this one as ‘good’. Sure, it has a good, satisfying control scheme for the most part, the level design is creative and the bosses and puzzles are pretty standard for a Mario title, but still enjoyable. However, sometimes, the floaty physics and weird knockback effect from jumping into walls led to quite a lot of unfair deaths, especially if I’d been punished for messing up already by losing a life, only to then immediately be punished again by falling into the void. Plus, I found Yoshi near impossible to control at some points with the motion controls. So yeah, this one is genuinely enjoyable, but I don’t think I’d personally put it with the best of all time.
6. I LOVE Dragon Quest IX TO DEATH
This is a game in a legendary franchise that consistently almost always see ranked at the very bottom of the pile in the series. But I really don’t understand how or why. Okay so your protagonist and party are basically silent and don’t have a lot of character, but I don’t see this as a reason to totally write off the game! The side characters, villains and story are all amazing and well-developed, the world is huge, colourful and interesting, the monsters are brilliantly creative and Dragon Quest’s signature lame sense of humour is gratefully carried through the whole game. The music is always brilliant and atmospheric and the bosses are just as memorable as each character you meet. What was everyone’s problem?? This is genuinely one of the best RPGs I’ve ever played and if you haven’t had a chance to pick it up, it is so, so worth it.
5. Sonic Adventure is a broken mess
So before I kick this one off, I’m not someone who hates Sonic and I’m not here to slate the whole franchise, but considering this game is often considered to be one of the best in the series, I thought it was definitely worth addressing. When I first played this, I literally couldn’t believe this was made in 1998, AFTER Mario 64 and yet it’s so broken! The physics and control scheme are totally wonky and hard to control, the unending amount of glitches make a fair amount of the stages almost unplayable, the voice acting and facial animation is cringey and oddly broken and yet, this was all on the Dreamcast. The most powerful console of the time. And I don’t think I even need to mention how boring some of the later stages get, with Big the Cat’s fishing section being the main offender. I can’t vouch for Adventure 2 as I haven’t had a chance to play yet, but I really hope it isn’t like this.
4. Dragon Age Origins is the best Dragon Age
Dragon Age has always been a popular RPG series, but I think it properly shot to fame once Inquisition dropped in 2014. And don’t get me wrong, I liked Inquisition! The world was colourful and expansive and the characters were fairly memorable, but I still think the best experience you can get is in the series’ first entry, Origins. While it’s pretty easy to see that it’s slightly dated considering it’s ten years old now, the best characters and story in the series I think is here. Each companion you recruit is varied and developed and the story wraps up brilliantly in the end with each companion and army you meet playing a different role in the final battle. Plus, I kind of can’t forgive Inquisition for making Leliana lose her sense of humour and making her kinda boring.
3. Oblivion is better than Skyrim
Okay so I’m not sure exactly how unpopular this is, but I just thought Oblivion was miles better than Skyrim ended up being. Just to clear it up, I still love Skyrim and I thought it built on the series’ combat system and variety of enemies really well and still provided an enjoyable experience. But Oblivion feels like more of an adventure you feel at home in. The story is dense and full of twists and turns. The soundtrack has some of the most atmospheric music I’ve ever heard, the world is full of bright colours, each city is vastly different and has its own lore and I found some of this to be absent from Skyrim. I’d go into more detail, but I think the simple fact is that Oblivion had so much more I liked than Skyrim.
2. I don’t think The Witcher III is all that amazing (in some regards)
This by no means says that I don’t like the game, because I do, but I think it has more flaws than people let on. Now, don’t get me wrong, a lot of the stuff people praise about this game is true, the quests are in-depth and masterfully crafted, the characters, especially Geralt, are extremely memorable. In fact, Geralt is one of my favourite game protagonists. But most of the problems I had were in terms of the gameplay. The combat, while fast-paced and satisfying, can sometimes feel a little finicky, so a lot of precision is needed. However, I felt that the world itself didn’t particularly interest me and the music is often ambient but outside of combat, isn’t anything special. Mostly though, the leveling system I found to be a bit wonky. I did absolutely everything I could in the first area of the game; all the side quests, treasure hunts, killed a whole bunch of monsters etc. And then I arrive in the second area and find I’m too underleveled to do literally anything. The majority of the quests have too high a level cap, a lot of the monsters kill me very quickly. And because the bulk of EXP farming is in the quests, I’m sort of stuck in an endless loop of constantly not being strong enough to do anything. On top of that, all my equipment keeps breaking and I’m finding that repair kits are extremely few and far between and that makes me even WEAKER. It’s something I’m gonna need to persevere with I think, but hey, this is just my experience with it.
1. Ocarina of Time, as amazing as it is, may have overstayed its welcome as best game of all time
I reckon this might be the most controversial, so it’s number 1. Let me preface this by saying I really like Ocarina and I agree that it was innovative for the RPG genre at the time. There’s a hell of a lot in this game that we have to thank for the games we have today. But considering how far the gaming industry has come since then and the sheer amount of high quality games we’ve been getting year after year, is still fair to call this the best game ever? When more recent games have taken what Ocarina started and built upon it? Games like Breath of the Wild, Horizon Zero Dawn, Red Dead Redemption II, God of War all gave us expansive, beautiful worlds and a story you can really get stuck into. And all the time, more and more games of this caliber are coming out. So yes, of course Ocarina of Time deserves a place in the hall of fame, it was revolutionary and still holds up really well today! I just can’t help but think there have been plenty of games since then, as flawed as some of them may be, that have improved upon the formula tenfold since Ocarina’s release.
Thanks for reading if you got this far! Just to reiterate, these are all just my opinions and my experiences with the games I mentioned, so pls don’t attack me. Got any viddy game opinions you think are sort of not popular? Drop them down below if you feel like it!
#zelda#loz#nintendo#nintendo switch#kingdom hearts#ocarina of time#botw#breath of the wild#oblivion#skyrim#dragon age#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#dragon quest#mario#Super Mario#Dishonored#life is strange#gaming
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Let’s Play Fire Emblem IV: Genealogy of the Holy War, Part 16: The World’s Last Hope, Maybe, Sorta
Part 15
Welcome back to Fire Emblem IV, as we begin the second generation in earnest. Unlike in real life, this new generation may actually succeed in making the world a better place, though in fairness that’s partially because the last one left it in such a state there’s nowhere to go but up.
When we signed off, we had just met a pair of idiots and I allowed you to choose between them, because I’m a great guy like that. You picked Johan, unanimously, for reasons varying from his superior speed growths, to his greater range of movement, to just hating Johalvier’s stupid face. All valid reasons! So I’ll be picking him up ASAP, to prevent him from accidentally getting his dumb ass killed. But first, as our turn begins, we have a new arrival to the battlefield…
And she’s blue, so I like her already.
(A green-haired pegasus knight whose mount is named after Erin’s sister. I wonder who her mom is.)
(Arthur is a little less obvious since weird white hair is pretty common in this game, as Julia reminded us last week, but he’s Taillte and Lewyn’s son.)
Arthur: Er, right. Sorry about that. Say, Fee, I don’t have too far to go. If you want, I can just walk from here.
Fee: Where are you off to, anyway?
Arthur: Oh, just Alster.
Fee: A-Alster?! Geez, you’re dumber than I thought! Alster’s waaaay south of here. There’s an entire sea in the way, for crying out loud! I dunno what you’re thinking, but you haven���t a hope in heck of walking the rest of the way there!
Arthur: Eh, it’s fine. I’m hardly in a hurry.
Fee: So, er, why do you need to go to Alster?
Arthur: Oh, see, I’ve got a sister I haven’t seen in years who might be there.
(… And yet, not in a hurry.)
Arthur: She and my mom were taken away when I was just a kid. I was sort of left alone in some far corner of Silesse or another. I just heard a rumor, but at this point even a rumor’s enough if it means I might find her.
Fee: Huh, really? You know, I know just what that’s like. My big brother’s been missing for ages.
Arthur: Did you get separated from him as well?
Fee: Oh, no, nothing that bad. We’ve always lived together in Silesse, but awhile back he ran off to try and find our dad.
Arthur: Your father, huh?
Fee: Yeah, he’s been missing for years. Mom spent the rest of her life waiting for him to come back, but he never did…
Arthur: What happened to her?
(Was the use of ‘the rest of her life’ too subtle for you, Captain Tact?)
Fee: She… she’s dead. Illness…
Arthur: Oh… sorry about that. I shouldn’t have brought it up…
Fee: It’s okay! I mean, you’ve already brought up lots of things that you shouldn’t have.
(I think Fee and I will get along just fine.)
Fee: … Heh, kidding. You’re actually not that bad.
Arthur: Heh heh, thanks. And thanks for giving me a chance and letting me come along with you.
Fee: No problem! So was the sister thing real? Is that actually why you’re travelling?
Arthur: Yeah, it’s real. But what about you? What’s your deal?
Fee: Actually, I kinda want to join that Isaachian rebel army.
(And I want more flying units, so we’re both in a good place. Welcome to the team, Fee! Don’t stand too close to Larcei if you don’t want to get coated in the blood of her victims.)
Fee: When I was little, mom told me stories about the paladin Sigurd and his brave allies, and those have always meant a lot to me. Lately I’ve been hearing about how Sigurd’s son is somewhere in Isaach, raising a revolution. And it all just sort of clicked, y’know? I knew that’s where I need to be, s oI just ran right out of home to try and find him.
Arthur: Wow… that’s pretty great of you. Y’know, I think I’ll help you out here for a while. It’s the least I can do for you putting up with me.
Fee: Okay! Partners it is, then. Good luck out there… partner!
Arthur: Heh! Upbeat as ever, aren’t you?
And with that, we round out our team for the second generation’s first chapter, except for Johan, who isn’t recruited yet and also doesn’t count. Let’s take a look at what we got.
First, Julia, the mysterious priestess whose identity could be anyone. She might be a random person from anywhere in the entire world. There’s no way to tell who she is. It’s a total, unabashed, impossible mystery to sol-
Oh, she has Major Naga and Minor Vala Holy Blood, so she’s Deirdre and Arvis’s kid. Yeah, honestly, it’s kind of like the developers forgot you can just look at the stat screens to find out a general idea of these character’s parents. They really try to play up Julia’s identity as a mystery, but there’s literally only one person she could be. Notice, however, that she doesn’t have Loptyr blood. Now there’s a mystery for ya…
In terms of her utility as a character, meanwhile, Julia is excellent. Blows her mom out of the water, thanks to inheriting Adept and Pursuit from her shitty father and having a generally better base stats and superior growths; in particular, thanks to her two Holy Bloods adding to her already naturally huge Magic growth from Deirdre, she actually comes to a magic growth of 100%. She will always get a magic point when leveling up, so by the end of the game she will be a goddamn magic cannon. Her weak points will be her Defense and Speed, the former of which is partially offset by the fact she actually has a remarkably high HP growth as well.
However, none of this matters right now because she starts off without any weapons. Don’t worry, that will change soon enough. Oh, and while we’re here…
Lana: You know, Lord Seliph’s actually really been worrying about you.
(PLATONICALLY! He has been PLATONICALLY worrying about his HALF-SISTER.)
Lana: If there’s anything I can do to help you, just let me know and I’ll get right on it.
Julia: Mm. Thank you…
Lana: Oh, and I’ve got a little something for you.
Julia: This is… a Mend staff?
Lana: You can use these, right?
Julia: For me? Thank you, Lana. With this… I know I can help everyone.
Lana: You’re welcome, Julia. Let’s give this our all, together!
D’aaaaaaaaaw. Shame this game was released like twenty years before it was socially acceptable to admit lesbians existed, because I ship Lana/Julia now. And not just because I want to make absolutely sure the latter cannot ever accidentally marry her brother.
Next up, Fee.
Like her mom before her, Fee is just generally solid. Her base stats mark her as a speedster, but her defense, resistance, and strength are all set at 8 when she’s only level 2, so she isn’t fragile or weak by any means; if she follows in Erin’s footsteps and gets lucky on the Defense growths, only archers will ever really be a threat to her. My hope is that by giving her Azel as a dad means she’ll also get a solid Magic growth (+30% from his Minor Vala Blood!) and will become sort of a flying artillery piece wielding all our magic swords to rain death on the enemy from above. This is kind of experimental, I admit. But on the plus side, even if that doesn’t work out, just ‘a second Erin’ is still plenty fine by me. Erin was cool beans.
And finally, Arthur.
Hehehehehe…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…
HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…
*deep breath*
Arthur is invincible. He has Forseti and he’s invincible. I mean his growths and all that shit are great too, he’s essentially Lewyn 2.0 with all the latest upgrade software, but really, that’s the summary. He’s got Forseti, and for the purposes of this map he is invincible. It’s going to be two more chapters before we fight anything that can lay a finger on him while he’s wielding that monster.
This isn’t the only reason I married Lewyn and Taillte. But it certainly is a big one.
Now then. Like a moron, I accidentally moved Lana and Julia too far forward to have them chat with each other. They’re in the range of Johan’s army. So I have the rest of the team form a perimeter while Larcei and Seliph run their butts off to join in. Arthur starts moving toward the castle to remove the current owner, and Fee moves to the village nearest her starting point to take a swing at the bandit there…
Did you just get hit on a 21% chance? And I was just talking up how good you are! *sigh* End turn. Johan’s army takes their swing at us…
…. That was pathetic! Only Ulster dodged any of that, and not nearly enough for my tastes considering he almost died anyway. What happened, kids?! You were rocking last week! Sigh. Okay. Okay. Let’s try and salvage this…
…. Yes, that’s a good start.
FEE! WHAT THE SHIT, LADY?!
Oh, that doesn’t count, Arthur. You’re holding a universal cheat code.
Now, I have the remaining characters form a line that will force Johan’s axe men to take a long, weird path to get to anyone who can’t fight back. With luck this means nobody will get attacked more than once. Honestly, at this point, I’m mostly afraid Johan will hit someone who can really fight back and get his dumb ass killed; that would be embarrassing to get a reset over someone who technically isn’t even my ally. Larcei is in his range, though… hopefully he will talk to her, rather than try to axe her. End turn…
Oh, and Johalvier’s douches have been moving toward us too, because I can’t have nice things .
Oifey can’t actually one-shot these guys normally. He procced Critical on this one because he’s a killstealing old bastard.
…. Why have you people decided to stop dodging…?
This may… go badly.
… And of course we’re in a situation where I need Oifey to both dodge (it’s only a 30% chance to hit but he hasn’t been performing lately) and not hit back too hard. Fucking grand.
OIFEY YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD, I LOVE YOU.
Now. NOW. First, Julia heals Oifey and I send him a space up to let Larcei run in.
(No, he’s just an idiot.)
Johan: Larcei… oh Larcei! Your words are as the sweetest birdsong! Your eyes are as the most brilliant stars! Oh, without you at my side, what purpose is there in life? What joy could possibly be?
Larcei: Stop it! How revolting! This is a battlefield! Are you out of your mind?!
Johan: I can deny my heart no longer, Larcei. Believe me when I say I’ve tried! Alas, love is a maddening beast at times…. What else can I do but be at your side? Men, we are joining the liberation army! From this day on, we are men of honor! Fight on in the name of justice, love, and Larcei!
Well. At least he’s enthusiastic.
At this, Johan joins the army and his units all become neutral, friendly to us and hostile to Johalvier’s army. They’re also all heavily wounded, so they’re mostly just going to die, but at least they’ll take some fire off us for one turn.
(… Did he, though?)
Johalvier: Bet he’s gone and sided with her army ,too. That weak-willed fool…
(Okay, that he definitely did.)
Johalvier: Hmph… fine by me! Men, attack! Johan’s unit is now the enemy!
And seeing this declaration of war by his brother and rival, Johan runs away to Lana for healing so he doesn’t get totally destroyed.
End turn!
(I’m actually going for the other one, thanks.)
*sniff* Oh, milord Seliph, you are truly on the path to surpass your father. Seriously. I don’t think he got a level that good in his entire half of the game, and it’s like your third so far in just your first map. I’ve never seen Seliph get off to a start this strong, and if he keeps it up he’ll be a walking nuclear war when he promotes.
I’m a little nervous now. What if he’s building me up so he can let me down later? I’ve been hurt before.
Dannan: Schmidt! Get out there! Take back my castles, now!
Schmidt: Yes, sir! You can depend on me!
(“No way I’m just a one-chapter flunky boss! No way, not ol’ Schmidty! Schmidt, that’s the name of a Big Bad right there! I bet I’m really Super-Loptyr in disguise!”)
Anyhow, when Johan joined his castle became neutral to us, and Schmidt is gonna go take it. That’s actually a very good thing, so I’m going to let him do that while we finish off Johalvier’s goons.
… Or they finish us off. 4% chance to hit and he popped ya one right in the jaw, Larcei? Seriously? You’re lucky I have two healers now.
And of course, what’s life without a little bit of killing your brother?
That’s the end of the interesting; Arthur is still walking toward a village, and Fee takes a distance shot at a bandit with her Bolt Sword but doesn’t kill him. End turn.
I should be happy that Johan dodged on an 87% chance to be hit, but frankly I’m just more angry at the others now.
Awesome. With that, there’s only one member of the Sophara army left. First, I have Fee and Arthur clear out the villages they’re near;
And Fee liberates hers.
Neat. Now it’s just a matter of wiping out the last of Johalvier’s soldiers:
And the army begins to move south. There’s one more village to clear out, and we have to be ready to take back Isaach after Schmidt takes it.
Again: We want this to happen. There are two castles, and we want Isaach. You want Isaach to fall so you can take it back, or you want to recruit Johalvier so it’s hostile from the start. You do not want to take Sophara. DO NOT.
I’m not joking.
This is super important.
Pick it up, you losers.
The team just spends another turn moving south, while Arthur liberates a village.
Isn’t This the Same Guy From the Last Village: Well, those imperial sods won’t stand a chance at all! Every last one of them will be run right out of our great land!
Sure thing. End turn!
*sigh* They all have hand axes, so this is actually going to take them awhile. It’s okay, that gives us time to set up a defensive line. Lester, meanwhile, clears and liberates a village.
Best Girl: I bet we’d all have a much better time with him on the throne if that were true, huh? Here, take this here skill ring. Go on, do your best! We’re all behind you!
Sweet. Bows are one of the more inaccurate weapons in the game, so more skill for Lester is quite welcome. Plus, Fee gets close enough to chat with Seliph finally.
Fee: Call me Fee! I’m from Silesse.
Seliph: Silesse, you say? Are you a pegasus knight, then?
(She’s literally riding a pegasus and holding a sword, man.)
Fee: Er, not just yet. I’m kinda still in training. My mom was one, though! Actually, in the big war years ago, she helped Lord Sigurd out in his army.
Seliph: Is that so? She has my utmost gratitude on my father’s behalf. Now, what brings you here, Fee?
Fee: See, what happened was I was looking for my brother, who ran away ages ago. But then I heard about you, sir, and how you’re taking on the Empire! And I just knew I had to be here too. Can I join your army, sir? Please?
Seliph: Certainly! Thank you. What of your brother, though?
Fee: It’s silly, sir, but I have this feeling we’ll run into him somewhere down the line.
(“Foreshadowing, sir.”)
Not much to show other than that. Arthur starts slooooowly moving toward the rest of the team, and Julia gains her first level from healing.
…. Remember when I said Deirdre wasn’t very good and then she got a bunch of great levels to spite me? I’m kind of scared Julia’s decided to do the opposite as some teenage rebellion against her mom’s legacy.
To the south, the Schmidtmeister finally takes Isaach, and his army starts moving north toward us, which suits me just fine. I ain’t in no rush, yo. In fact, I’ll just wait a few turns in my fine defensive formation while Arthur runs toward us. Come at us when you’re ready, losers.
Four turns later, the first of them arrives, alone, and misses.
Fear the wrath of the Schmidtritter.
Now, these guys totally suck with one exception. Schmidt himself is fairly badass, and there’s a reason for that:
BITCH HAS LEX’S BRAVE AXE! Remember when I said the items from people who didn’t pass them on to kids will show up later? Well, it’s later. I think we can all agree this cannot stand, out of honor to Lex and also I want that axe back. But, of course, that means killing him with an axe dude. And we only have one of those. So for Johan to not disappoint us, I think we need to soften him up first. Lester?
(Well, looks like somebody thinks he’s hot Schmidt.)
Hm. Okay performance, and an average level. At least it was better than his first level. But seriously, man, your dad was beating you out by this point. That’s sad. And I’m not entirely sure Schmidt will die to a single hit from Johan, so I send in another helper to soften him up further.
Not bad! Defense is definitely great for her, and her Luck is pretty abysmal too, so combined I’m not displeased with this showing. Johan?
…. Oh hey, Johan missed on an 80% chance to hit, and died to the counterattack.
If I hadn’t promised to do a no-death run I would leave his corpse rotting in the sunny plains of Isaach. Reset.
Luckily this was the start of our turn, so I can screw around the RNG a little by moving people in different orders. This even has the benefit of changing the levels we gain:
And hey, not terrible. Fee’s is actually unambiguously better, and Lester’s is about equal. And I also, because I’m not a total moron, remember to park Dermott near the front lines where his Charisma skill can amp up Johan’s accuracy. Okay, big guy, care to give it another go?
Much better. The Brave Axe alone turns him from the worst unit in the army to the like, second or third worst. And now, with the enemy exposed and bereft of their leader, His Lordship takes the front lines.
… Okay, I mean, not very dramatic, woulda been cooler if you’d slain your enemy, but you didn’t get hit. I’ll take it. End turn!
Fortunately, Hand Axes are not super accurate. And in this chokepoint, most of them can’t even reach us. A few errant swings later, we are up to bat again.
You know, it’s kind of telling that they’re all getting levels I would have been perfectly happy to see in their parents, and yet I’m still somehow disappointed. We’ve barely started this generation and I’m already spoiled.
End turn. I suppose. The enemy… erm…
Well, they all go after Oifey, and they cannot hit him. Note their chance to hit. It’s zero. So… I’m not sure what’s up there. Let’s… let’s just finish this up.
See? You can do it if you try, Lester! Now, the map is basically over. I basically just hang out awhile, letting Arthur finally catch up for his own talk with Seliph.
Arthur: The name’s Arthur. I came here from Silesse.
Seliph: Wait, so you are that Arthur fellow? I’ve heard of how you have been aiding us so far. Thank you so much!
(“I heard you defeated two enemies and then spent the rest of the map slowly walking. My deepest gratitude!”)
Arthur: Eh, it was no big deal.
Seliph: You are capable of wielding magic, yes? That’s truly impressive. I’m almost envious!
Arthur: My mother was a talented war-mage…but I’ve still got a lot to learn, myself.
Seliph: We all do, do we not? So long as we all fight together, though, perhaps we still truly can change our world. After all, that’s what brought us here today.
Arthur: Yeah… you’re right. My power’s at your disposal, sir. I’ll give my all to aid the cause. I’m glad we could finally meet, Lord Seliph.
And then have Seliph finally run up and re-take Isaach.
Info Master: Indeed, and ecstatic to see you to boot! Thanks to you, Lord Seliphk we know that at long last, Isaach shall have its freedom!
Seliph: Thank you, sir, but the effort isn’t mine along. I could never have come so far without the support of the common man.
(If you call them ‘the common man’, you may be a bit of a classist. Maybe try to work on that, Selly.)
Seliph: You’ve all supported me from the beginning. I likely wouldn’t be here if not for you!
Info Master: Fate is a funny thing, isn’t it, sir? Just twenty years ago, our late king had the utmost trust in your grandfather’s wisdom. Then your father came to protect Prince Shanan, and now the prince has guided you to adulthood. Perhaps fate has bound Isaach and Chalphy as one…
Seliph: Isaach is the only home I’ve ever known, and Prince Shanan is like a brother to me. I pray our friendship lasts the rest of our lives.
Info Master: Lord Seliph, you are the rightful heir to House Belhalla and the throne of Grannvale. Not a soul alive in Isaach, nor in the rest of the world, can doubt this. We beg of you! Raise the banner of justice high, march on Belhalla, and reclaim your true throne!
(“Well, sort of. I don’t think you actually have the right magic blood. But it’s not like you’re going to run into any waifs who should be doing the job instead!”)
Now. You may be wondering why I was so adamant we take Isaach when there was another castle off to the west we could have been going after. And the answer is: Julia can now have a conversation with Seliph. Let’s see that.
Seliph: Actually, I have something for you. I found this in Isaach castle.
Julia: What is…?
Seliph: It’s a light magic tome called Nosferatu. You can wield these, yes?
Julia: Yes… I’m able to use light magic.
Seliph: Excellent! Hopefully you’ll now have an easier time protecting yourself in combat.
Julia: Thank you, Lord Seliph… thank you so much…
And with that, Julia gets a weapon! The only one she will ever need, even! See (and of course the game doesn’t tell you this), which castle you take alters what weapon she gets. If you take Johalvier’s castle, Sophara, you get her Deirdre’s old Aura tome. You might remember Aura as being very powerful, but also very heavy and largely useless. As for Nosferatu, it isn’t as strong, but it’s considerably lighter and with Julia’s excellent magic and (unlike Deirdre) access to Pursuit for double attacking, she’ll still be doing enough damage to take out most anything she fights.
Oh, and any damage it does to an enemy, she absorbs to heal herself.
That’s right: the mysterious waif just became a tank.
Now, all that’s left to do is kill Dannan. And he, like Chagall before him, forgot to bring a ranged weapon to the party. So I take a little time, liberate a village, and wait to feed him to the suddenly unstoppable Julia. Village?
Grim Gritty Girl: Thanks to you lot, Isaach’s free from the Empire at last, but the rest of the world’s still in a very dark place… all across Jugdral, they’re waiting for you to rise up and defeat the Empire! Please, I’m begging you… you’ve gotta make it to Grannvale soon!
Neat. Lana gains a level, too!
Well, not up to her mom’s exacting standards, but she’s already gotten more magic than Ethlyn ever did. I’ll allow it. And now, time for Julia’s first murder and the end of the map.
(Bitch, she’s your princess. The game hasn’t said it yet, but we know she is. Show some respect.)
And in one round of combat, she almost completely destroys him (she did proc Adept, so she hit him three times instead of two), and gains a big-person level. So far, so good. One more turn should do it!
Welcome to the team, Julia. You’re not really one of us until you’ve killed a sentient being. (I know that Lana hasn’t killed anyone on screen, but we all know what she gets up to at night.) Seliph drops in on Rivough Castle, and we’re all set.
(You can go home, Lewyn. We have your book, and that’s all we need from you.)
Lewyn: Yeah… I only just got back now. Look, Seliph, are you aware that right now, the world’s at a critical turning point?
Seliph: Hm? No… I’m afraid not.
(Teenagers don’t follow the news, Lewyn.)
Lewyn: It’s been fifteen years since Arvis conquered Jugdral and united it as the Grannvale Empire. Honestly, for awhile at first it wasn’t all that bad. In the empire’s dawn, Emperor Arvis sought to bind his nation using only the strictures of law. It was strict and constraining, but we got a few good years of peace out of it. But obviously he changed his mind. A few years back, as if by magic, the Empire turned into that oppressive force we all know and love today. Even worse… the ancient heretics of the Loptyr Order have arisen from the shadows once more and raised influence across the land. Their murderous rituals have returned with them, and all across Jugdral they abduct children to sacrifice in droves to resurrect their fell god. All attempts to resist are crushed and met with brutal executions or enslavement. It couldn’t be more plain that they seek to return Jugdral to the days of that ancient abomination, the Loptyr Empire.
Seliph: This cannot be happening! I’ve heard rumors saying the same, but… never did I think they could be more than mere rumor…
Lewyn: By the look of it, Isaach hasn’t had it quite as bad as most. Dannan’s two sons, at least, refused to follow through on the child hunts. And of course there’s been people trying to rebel against the Empire left, right, and center, but they were all scattered and disorganized. Before you, none have ever posed a proper threat. They were all swiftly crushed before they could so much as blink. Jugdral needs a savior. It needs a man to unite behind. And I’m sure that man is you, Seliph. You’re the only one who stands a chance.
Seliph: Hold on a moment! Are you sure of this? A savior would require power that I sorely lack…
Lewyn: Chalk it up to duty, Seliph. You’re the eldest child of Empress Deirdre. That makes you the elder brother to Crown Prince Julius.
(“And the fact that the prince is named Julius should not suggest in any way that Julia is connected to the royal family. Er, you haven’t checked her stat screens, right?”)
Lewyn: You’re the one true heir to Saint Heim. Your destiny is to unite the power of the Crusaders of this era and free the world from evil’s grip.
Seliph: But I...
Lewyn: Trust me, you really do have what it takes. Your true power and potential sleeps within you. That is, the sacred blood of the Crusader Baldur. Once you get your holy blade, Tyrfing, not even the heavens will be able to stand in your way!
Seliph: But I-
Lewyn: Sorry, Seliph, but that’s how the gods will it.
(I hate to take Lewyn’s side on this, Seliph, but if you really didn’t want to free the world, you shouldn’t have let him talk over you so much.)
Lewyn: You’re Sigurd’s son. The son of a man who fate led to a brutal end. The fulfillment of his dying wishes and his final quest falls to you.
(Pretty sure his final wish was to just not be burned to death.)
Lewyn: You can’t afford to doubt yourself now. You understand, Seliph?
Seliph: Y-yes… yes. I do. If this is fate and the will of the gods, then so be it. I will do my duty.
Lewyn: There actually isn’t a single absolute fate, nor is there just one person it all hinges upon.
(THEN WHY’D YOU GO ON ABOUT IT FOR TWENTY MINUTES JUST NOW?!)
Lewyn: As obtuse as that sounds, trust me, one day it’ll make sense.
(LIAR.)
Lewyn: Sigurd left behind so much to help you on your quest.
(“Though not the really good sword.”)
Lewyn: Most importantly, the many friendships he forged in his life. Me, for instance.
(GO AWAY.)
Lewyn: Brave youths from all over are already lining up to join your cause, all guided by Sigurd’s kindness.
Seliph: My father won the love and trust of so many people, from all walks of life. I can only pray that in time I’ll prove worthy of his legacy.
Lewyn: You’ll be fine. Anyway, to business. Our immediate goal is to reach Leonster. The son of Quan, your father’s closest friend, raised his own rebellion only to suffer severe losses. He’s in pretty urgent need of backup. I know you’ve had no time to rest, but we need to get going as soon as possible.
(Wait, weren’t you just there? You… you didn’t help? You ran down, explicitly didn’t help, and then ran back here to make me do it for you? Dick.)
Lewyn: For now, at least, we can leave Isaach in the care of its citizens. Odds are we’ll run into Prince Shanan on our way.
(Wait, I thought Shanan was off in the middle of the Yied Desert…… fuck it’s going to be a sand map, isn’t it. We’re going to a sand map.)
Seliph: Understood!
And that’s that. First map done, and now we’re off to Leonster to meet Quan’s son Leif (you may recall him being mentioned by name a few times back when he was an infant. He’s beefed up somewhat since then, thankfully) for what is definitely going to feel like an eternity.
See you next week in… *sigh* in the Yied Desert. Again.
Resets: Up to an even 20. Johan’s intro to our army has not been the best.
Part 17
#Let's play fire emblem#let's play fire emblem four#Genealogy of the Holy War#Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War#lp#my writing#let's play#FE4#Seliph is rocking out
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I was tagged by @lionheartedghost!
List 5 TV shows and answer the following questions, then tag 10 people to do the same.
i. Shadowhunters ii. Game of Thrones iii. Fullmetal Alchemist iv. The 100 v. Law and Order SVU
Who is your favourite character in 2?
Jamie Lannister, colossal dumbass. I’m obsessed with his redemption arc (or the arc as it should’ve been, and yes, I still have faith in GRRM to correct the wrongs of 8x04 and 8x05). For me, he is the embodiment of a classic Greek tragedy and there’s something incredibly compelling about that - the tragedy, the familial trauma, the knightly values, the battle between right and wrong, between love and duty ... all the good stuff.
My other favourite character is Sansa Stark because she is beautiful and intelligent and powerful and kind and a Survivor.
Who is your favourite character in 1?
Alec Lightwood. I love characters whose personal journeys involve chasing their own happiness and coming into their own as a leader, especially when they show their detractors wrong. Seeing Alec grow in confidence is special to me. And I love a powerful coming-out story.
What is your favourite episode of 4?
This implies that I can differentiate between any episodes of this God forsaken show. I did enjoy the season finale of season 2, with Bellamy and Clarke forced to make the impossible choice to save their people, together, but at the expense of so many others. I also really liked the episode in season 5 where they reunited after the 6 years apart ... my heart is weak.
What is your favourite season of 5?
Season 17. The eye contact. The shrewd and crooked smiles. The holy grail of Barisi episodes. The overflowing potential for more that was then cruelly dashed upon the rocks in seasons 18 and 19.
Who is your favourite couple in 3?
Royai is the og pairing for me. Doesn’t get better than “I will follow you, even into Hell”. Doesn’t get better than “Can I trust my back to that?”. Doesn’t get better than “Don’t go where I can’t follow”. The trust they share is Profound.™
Who is your favourite couple in 2?
Romantically, I’m a sucker for Braime, but we all know this. I love two people who bring out the best in each other, especially when that best is seen and understood by so few others. Jamie’s redemption arc is superb, and it’s because of Brienne that he is able to see his own self-worth and finally reacquaint himself with that vision of knighthood he sacrificed at age 17 in order to save King’s Landing. The respect they have for each other is paramount to why I enjoy them together.
Theonsa is my other favourite ship because I love a pairing built on shared tragedy, and who manage to overcome trauma together - that’s very beautiful and powerful to me, and Sophie and Alfie have brilliant yet subtle chemistry, all spoken in the eyes. I also enjoy the Jon/Sansa dynamic a lot, but then Jon’s characterisation was shot in the head in season 8.
What is your favourite episode of 1?
2x06 - Malec’s first date. The tentative flirting and the nervous energy and the Superior Kiss. 2x18 - the breakup episode because the flashbacks are gorgeous and the angst is THE GOOD STUFF. 2x10 is also a favourite because it’s very well acted and has more gravitas and consequence than a lot of episodes on this show. Honorary mentions to the end of 3x20 (spectacular), the Edom sequence in 3x21 (the hug! the surprise Jace/Meliorn! Izzy saving the day!), and the wedding scene in 1x12 (iconic).
What is your favourite episode of 5?
Heartfelt Passages (17x23) is probably my fave because (a) I love some pain and Dodds’ death on his very last day on the job hurts like a mf and (b) it has that 2 second scene of Barba and Carisi at the bar after the funeral, toasting their drinks, and the look in Barba’s eyes is ... something else, okay? It’s so soft and curious and you can feel how safe he feels with Carisi and ... it should’ve been a stepping stone for something more in season 18.
Some other episodes I like are Manhattan Transfer/Unholiest Alliance (good Carisi character development), 911 (first time I watched it, I was on the edge of my seat), and literally any episode that is Benson-focused, like the William Lewis arc (Liv seems to get kidnapped or caught in hostage situations so often but they’re always SO GOOD).
What is your favourite season of 2?
Season 6 was some good stuff (especially coming out of the shithole of season 5). It had a lot of fan service (the R+L=J reveal, Bran’s time travelling, Hodor, Jamie and Brienne reuniting, Sansa finally escaping and finding Jon, Cersei pulling out all the stops to get rid of the Tyrells at fucking last, Yara flirting with Dany, and the entire BOTB sequence), but the writing still made sense and I still had hope for some clever twists hahahahaha
How long have you watched 1?
I binge watched season 1 in May 2016 when I was living abroad and feeling a little lonely. The show really came into my life at the perfect time.
How did you become interested in 3?
I watched the ‘03 series way back when (around 2007, I think?) and then got heavily invested in the manga, followed by Brotherhood. Honestly, it is without a doubt the best and most pitch-perfect story that has ever been told. I was immediately absorbed in Team Mustang and their dynamic, and who doesn’t love some political subterfuge with a large splash of religious symbolism that ends with a fist fight against God?
Who is your favourite actor in 4?
Bob Morley. He’s so endearing in real life and he is such a good role model in terms of mental health activism and surviving depression/anxiety.
Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?
Ask me three years ago, and it would’ve been GOT. Sadly, season 8 happened.
Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3?
Purely because there are more FMA episodes in existence ...
If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?
I feel like I connect most with Clarke, but if I could be anyone, I’d be Raven because she’s hot and smart and is played by Lindsey Morgan and what more is there tbh
But also, all the characters have fucking terrible lives, so I don’t really want to be any of them.
Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?
I can’t really imagine it, but that’s because I always find it hard to make AUs and crossovers with FMA because the story is absolutely perfect the way it is and any way you change it detracts from its perfection. If you put other characters into the FMA universe, it loses some of its meaning, yknow? Same with taking the FMA characters out of their universe, because who they are is so inherently tied to their in-universe experiences and their development with the story.
Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple?
Unlikely but strangely okay ... I mean, I’m a sucker for Jimon, but that’s not all that unusual. I like Izzy with literally any of the girls (Clary and Aline, especially). But I feel like Magnus and Izzy would fit “unlikely but strangely okay” - I can imagine them flirting if Malec was never a thing, and they would look hot together, let’s be honest. A power dressing couple. Very intimidating. I’m into it.
Overall, which show has the better story line, 3 or 5?#
Clearly FMA because (a) it’s FMA and its narrative themes and characterisation are Absolute Perfection, and (b) FMA actually *has* a story line. SVU does not have a story line. SVU barely has coherent writing.
Which has better theme music, 2 or 4?
The GOT soundtrack is iconic, so there’s no question here. The use of leitmotifs for individual characters, and hearing how those are combined and overlapped and developed with the story? Spectacular.
Tags: if you see this and want to do it, please go ahead (and you can tag me too, if you like)!
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ah i almsot forgot: warning, the following has mainly snarky opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.
and we’re back to our scheduled programming
time to be rendered unconscious against your will you lil shit
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“i hardly think anyone could pass out from eating something like this”
clearly you dont know what world youre living in, Sadmad.
...also he... might be allergic, guys. ever thought of that?
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yes, EAT! EAT OR WE WILL HARASS YOU, POSSIBLY INNOCENT BYSTANDER!!! YOU THINK YOU HAVE RIGHTS???? CRAM THAT SHIT DOWN YOUR THROAT BEFORE I DO!!!!
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...uh;
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FIVE IS NOT AN OCCUPATION!!! EAT ANOTHER BUN AS PUNISHMENT!!!! REGRESS FURTHER!!!! HFKJGU;SUUSRSO
coping jokes aside holy shit
don’t hurt this tiny boy!!!
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i hope you all feel guilty for being such pricks.
look at him. he's curled up under his jacket like a traumatized baby
at least this personality... sort of aligns with how DID is supposed to work? But now i just feel even worse. Someone get that kid a teddy and a juice-box, stat!
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“Its clear that none of his personalities could be the killer!”
A) one of the three could still be lying
B) there’s four so far, what’s to discount a fifth? triggered by... i dunno, a reefer brownie.
C) I'm actually glad he's not the killer anyway just wanted to point out the possibilities youre discounting there
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i love that theyre playing the goofy X people music for a traumatized five year old who witnessed a horrific murder of a loved one.
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“I believe the person who laid the cards out is the very person who killed the victim” WELL.... DOY.
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“How quickly you move onto a new theory when your old theory proves false!”
WELL.......... DOY
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I love that theyre all just yelling and screaming about murder while the tiny child cowers behind the bench
hello??? anybody with compassion anywhere? maybe in the gallery? a bailiff? anybody???
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“his emotions are spiralling out of control! something must have really frightening him”
maybe
THE FUCKING MURDER????
athena youre a psychologist; dont you know anything about calming people down or at least putting them at ease? youre gonna put scars on this kid’s scars!
i mean at least Cody Hackins was fairly fearless and defiant about what happened to him and only really broke down once it dawned on him what he’d actually seen. Owen is clearly very, very upset.
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i passed out *image promptly closes eyes*
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“poor kid, he's absolutely terrified of something”
KDJFKLDGDGL
“whatever it is, it might be the root of his out of control emotions!”
DSHFA;SLGHOHSO GIRSHG’
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“see, all we got out of this boy is a tale he dreamt up”
fuck off sadmad
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(sigh) Owen’s on his side, Shisho’s laying down, just get to it already
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“rotating your thinking about?”
“oh! you mean turning your thinking around!”
“yeah, whatever...”
(SNERK)
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“like the forehead, perhaps”
is that... just a random location or is it actually going to come true
also, back at the office, Apollo winces and he can’t figure out why
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oh yeah its definitely gonna come back.
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WHOA; OK, MANHANDLING
MANHANDLING, NOT GOOD
STEP AWAY FROM THE ATTORNEY, BLACKQUILL
yeah just fucking manhandle the stressed out anxious girl. you piece of shit. i knew me being your friend wouldn’t fuckin last.
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“MOTIVE, OPPORTUNITY, EVIDENCE??? IS THAT ALL IT TAKES TO MAKE YOU STOP BELIEVING IT YOUR CLIENT?!”
to be fuckin fair, cuckoo, thats usually what loses most cases.
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would phoenix manhandle athena?? would he berate her and shake her into doing her best?? i highly doubt it.
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“prosecutor blackquill was just giving me a pep talk, thats all!”
athena thats unhealthy
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legitimately simon’s been nothing but unpleasant this entire time. its fun to watch him wreck sadmad’s shit but he needs to keep the hell away from athena. whatever protective, elder-brotherly instincts he had for her in DD seem to have stayed in DD.
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man I'm looking back at my previous commentary and i was. i was just so optimistic. how foolish. franziska, bring down your lash upon this foolishly foolish fool.
atcuall dont i bruise like a peach
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jeez now I'm imagining Super Dad™ Phoenix Wright cross examining Owen with Athena instead and it’s melting my cold, hard heart
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“unfortunately, i spy nothing of the sort”
again Sadmad acts like if he doesn't see the answer, then it’s nonexistent
not very monk-y of you, Sadmad.
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gotta admit, i love this unique murder weapon
ive actually nearly suffocated under soft, cold, gloopy stuff and lemme tell you, its not fun.
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...i love that simon took that logic-attack for us
maybe the animators just wanted to play his OH SHIT animation again
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i know it looks like i pick on everything but in fact i edit these down. sometimes i take out whole statements because i rationalize them and realize that theyre actually plausible and i let them slide. so just, y’know. if you think I'm just blindly going at it, i am actually giving this game the benefit of the doubt. you just dont see it.
...if you read these
...uh
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they used the pre-prepped noodles in the fridge. c’mon guys, as athena would say: Andale!
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“perhaps the victim was simply playing with the cards, and they hold no other meaning”
oh NOW THEY COULD BE UNRELATED TO THE CASE
OF COURSE, NOW THAT IT’S CONVENIENT TO YOU
you sack’a shit
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nice cliffhanger, kid.
Oh well; I’m partially glad that the poor lil guy can get a rest, and partially upset that his last two surfaces put him through intense anguish. maybe get Uendo drunk and go to the theatre or something, guys. poor baby could use a pick-me-up.
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n no–– rise from the ashes flashbacks–– RISE FROM THE ASHES FLASHBACKS
THE LUNCHBOXES
SO MANY LUNCHBOXES
AAAAAHHHHhhhhi gotta give bucky a hand; being drunk and riding a skateboard while supporting a tower of bentos isn’t an easy feat
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ew slurping
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and simon extends his douchiness to the guys he's even shafting Athena for.
just, fuckin, lighten the fuck UP simon, CHRIST
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TIDDIES
seriously tho; we haven’t had a proper boob joke in ages. actually Geiru kinda reminds me of April May...
Meanwhile we’ve had several testicle references, a drunk guy, and the bloodiest overarching plot the series has ever had. I think we’ve left Ace behind and graduated to Edge Attorney
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to be fair the judge could totally be talking about her actual rubber balloons, considering his childlike personality at times. so maybe ITS YOU, SADMAD, WHO’S THE VULGAR ONE!
GET YOUR MIND OUTTA THE GUTTER!!
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bloooon. i think Drifloon says that, too. Is that a japenese onomatopoeia or something?
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ooh he sadMad
heh
i guess its up to simon’s brilliant mind tricks to save us again..?
...yehhhh i knew it
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...huh. didnt expect that. impressive use of air...sword... skill.
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IM NOT A KOORAHEENIST, SHE’S NOT GONNA HEAR ME ANYWAY.
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i know what theyre building up and yes, i am super excited to see all those balloons pop
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...i gotta ask tho, why does Athena think those balloon animals are bad?? theyre extremely intricate and they look a lot more like the thing she promised than most of the ones ive seen.
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aw no the cake disappeared. i want a huge explosion at the end!!
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“I’ma cut ya, witch!”
...
.....
........
i uh, i have to um,,,,,,, go now
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SHES GONNA CUT OFF A TIT
GIRD YERSELF ATHENA
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me, into my DS mic: HOLD IT. Hold IT. Hold it. hold it... hold it... bold it
athena; HOLD IT
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simon: athena youre stupid do something. I'm not helping you.
simon: this time I'm going to do something, but god forbid you dont run with it
i dont think we’ve ever had a co counsel add something to the testimony for us before. we’ve had them hint at answers and interrupt trials to get us out of tight spots, but never directly ordering something like that. Guess that proves just how highly BK thinks of Athena’s abilities......
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ooh the cakes back and there was a pop
im super ready for this
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shit thats a strong balloon. i wouldn’t advice biting very thing plastic...
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............
the... fuck???
sadmad: here is what will prove that Geiru IS NOT the murderer!
(geiru reveals buckwheat allergy and ACUAL RED HAND)
how the fuck does that help your case, Sadmad?? We know that the killer used the dough to kill the master by suffocating him with it. Pointing out that she came into contact with the dough, WITH HER HANDS, IS PROVING SHE DID IT.
YOU JUST GOT HER CAUGHT LITERALLY RED-HANDED.
HOW DOES THIS HELP YOUR CASE??????
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ok well apparently she could die just by being in the room but if we look at how badly her hand has reacted, and is still reacting, Geiru should probably have at least some difficulty talking if “breathing in the flour” was dangerous. If her hand reacted that badly from minor contact, her throat should be shut like a steel trap. what I'm saying is, she’s probably lying about the severity.
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“As if I would do anything so underhanded”
oh sad-‘trigger my enemies into yielding’-mad, youre hilarious
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y’know i just realized, it is a little insensitive of Taifu to make/buy/keep soba around the place. if Geiru is this deadly allergic, he’s risking killing her simply because he can’t give up his precious noodles. thats like living with someone with a deadly peanut allergy and being all “can’t get enough of my PBnJ!!”
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its time for
Off!
Brand!
Logic!!!!
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oh. its not. ...ok
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hang on didnt she say the dough was udon already, or am i misremembering? if she did and everyone just forgot, thats a little sad.
anyway, i guess thats... an alright twist. i still say that saying your witness is allergic to something and showing a reaction on the body part associated with the murder is stupid thing to do.
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“dont lose your nerve now. keep charging forward or you'll feel my blade at your back”
I'm just gonna let that speak for itself.
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ah THERES the off brand logic. and we’re finally gonna talk about those fucking noodles in the fridge. its been a long time coming.
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i like that ‘ramen’ is a third choice every time
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that was a pretty involved murder. “alright, kill the old man, hmm hmm... make a dish that i’m deathly allergic to to throw of the scent; just gotta get the cooking! make sure Uendo doesn’t wake up and catch me in the act~~ get rid of the dough in a way that is probably time consuming, lalala~ and there! Blooooon, the perfect crime!”
how much time did she have??
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also how much blood did she lose form that knick on her forehead? if its enough to permeate an entire clump of dough, she should probably need a transfusion.
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simon: dog pun. have you figured out the twist yet???? DOG PUN, BY THE WAY. JUST SO YOU KNOW.
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all the balloons are there. its time.
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seriously, thats gotta be a lot of blood. I'm getting Gingerdead Man flashbacks.
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“i wanna thank you, simon. without your constant abuse, i wouldn’t have been scared enough to succeed for fear of what would happen if i failed!”
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...its a bit premature for breakdown animations; the police haven't gotten back to us about the dough...
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...i didnt like this balloon explosion as much as i thought i was going to. this is kinda just... uncomfortable.
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you know, she shouldn’t have resorted to murder or blaming the crime on an innocent, but I feel like Taifu should’ve.... I dunno, either Trained her properly or let her down easy instead of forcing her to be a sexy balloon clown.
It’s clear she really, really wanted to succeed her father’s name, (which I'm a little confused about; was he one of Taifu’s students? What is Uendo’s real name then? what is any of their real names...) so I’m sure that if she just practiced enough, she’d probably be able to do what she needed to get to that level of entertainment. And if she couldn’t, letting her down easy and encouraging her to find something she actually liked instead of making her do... um... balloons would probably be a whole lot less nasty.
also wtf uendo; what did whet ever do to you
man all of these people were kind of dicks. except bucky. the guy who came to his trial drunk.
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Sadmad: Hmm.... upon further deliberation... seeing as you won... I believe I shall afford you a basic sense of human respect..................
Athena: thats all I ask, prosecutor sadmahdi!
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heyy he’s sobered up! or should I say... SOBA’D UP AAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH but seriously i don’t think they’ve said drunk or hungover once in this entire case what the fu
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“no way... i almost got convicted out of convenience?” you, larry butz, maggey byrde and a shit tonne of other characters in the series. its actually a fairly common occurrence.
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“he didn’t give her the name because he wanted geiru to find her own calling in life...”
...you know. after foisting a sexy balloon routine on her. to encourage her to quite entertainment.
obviously Taifu was using the Simon Blackquill approach to encouragement.
“making udon was his way of showing his support of her in her new endeavour”
...what does that... mean
“oh, i’ll make safe dough instead of the stuff THAT KILLS HER to prove that i support her!”
genius
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“So this entire situation happened because of a misunderstanding? How sad...”
i think you mean,,, hhhh
i hate misunderstanding plots so so much
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this entire case is just “he was being an asshole to ENCOURAGE you, see!! now you HAVE to forgive him!!”
newsflash: no i dont. you know what works better than fear tactics, threats and coercion?
BEING ACTUALLY SUPPORTIVE
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“he probably used some tough love on you so that the shop wouldn’t just go belly up”
I SAID SUPPORTIVE. ARE YOU DEAF???
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see? athena is being a little misguided but at least she's using a positive -food- to try to accomplish something.
“i’ll make sure its got all the TLC Master Toneido would’ve packed in it, too!”
you got it! one ice-cold, bitter, al-dente bowl with a side of vinegar, comin’ right up!
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no athena!! brand loyalty!! mr eldoon will never forgive you!!!
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“do us all proud, bucky”
or else
(flashes air sword)
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Athena: I wonder if this gave me any experience as a lawyer...
Simon: HAHA WRONG, IF I HADN’T BEEN THERE YOU’D HAVE HAD THE SHIT KICKED OUT OF YOU. YOU SUCK, ATHENA, AND YOU DO EVERYTHING WRONG. FUCK YOU~!
see what annoys me about this is that when I first played Athena, I had some issues with her being too inexperienced to be a proper lawyer, especially with her court-related PTSD which could seriously endanger her clients.
However... Why are they bringing up her lack of experience in the one case (it’s not even a full case) in a game that isn’t even about her? And ignoring all the progress she made in Dual Destinies?
The way they’re talking about it is as if theyre setting up some kind of sequel; ‘you need to improve athena, you need to practice’. Which would have been all well and good for one of the cases in the first run of her own game... but Athena has been and continues to be a side character to Apollo and Phoenix. Rather than this moment coming at a crucial moment in her own game, it comes out of nowhere during a case she got last minute, couldn’t have prepared for, and is abused throughout.
what I'm saying is, the ghosts of DD past has come to haunt us. They introduced Athena too early and are bungling up her character development. Lawyers need a full set of games to let them grow. Just make an actual Apollo Justice 2 or Athena Cykes 1, but don’t insult us by pretending that this five minute shit actually did either of them justice.
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Simon: I hope you stay shitty so that I can always win
brilliant.
you know, usually when a character is jerk with a heart of gold, that ‘heart of gold’ thing is supposed to show up at the end.
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i was going to ignore the horrible joke but then Widget said “ROTFL”
what a... great way to end this....... great case
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and so we close this one off, and for a case about tasty food, it sure left a bitter taste in my mouth.
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Top 10 pas in envision books
Dads often get a raw deal in image volumes – often absent or else caricatured as the not-very-smart or the fix-it-all-with-my-toolbox papa. Here Sean Taylor picks the best well-rounded daddies in a selection of fabulous image volumes for papas day
You get more mums than dads in visualize journals. Perhaps thats intelligible. Mums still tower largest in the living conditions of numerous picture-book-aged juveniles. But perhaps it shows our world, in which absent-minded father-gods are ever more common. One route or the other, it would be good to have more papas present in the lives of children, and it would be good to have more papas in word-painting journals.
Sean Taylor with his son Rafa.
And theres something else. The pas who do appear in stories for young children can be quite restricted references. Theres the above-it-all daddy, speaking the newspaper. Theres the not-very-smart father, whos simply a pun. Theres the fix-it , daddy with his toolbox. Theres the about-to-be-absentdad , off to employment. Even the all-loving , Guess-How-Much-I-Love-You kind of dad can feel one-dimensional.
So for my top 10, Ive chosen works peculiarity father-gods who are both at the center of the tale and more alive than the caricatures. The notebooks are ordered approximately by age of reader: younger firstly, older last-place. I hope theres something new for you to find and enjoy.
1. Some Dogs Do by Jez Alborough
A special tale told( as Jez Alborough brilliantly does) in few words and with verses that read just right. A young hound announced Sid is so filled with happiness that he moves! But he cant persuade anyone that this has happened. Hes tittered at. bird-dogs dont fly it cant be done, says his teach. Dogs dont fly! reproduce his friends. This leaves Sid alone and lamentable. But his father comes by. He asks whats wrong, and it saves the day. Sids dad believes in him. He understands Sids free spirit because he shares it. And these two things( literally) lift Sid up again. Its a wonderful image of the magical a father-son alliance can do.
2. The Parent Who Had 10 Children by Bndicte Guettier
A whimsical fable, first are presented in France. The papa in question does everything for his 10 brats. He takes them to institution. He cooks their snacks. He tells them storeys. He caresses them good night. Then, requiring a crack, he constructs a secret ship. He says hell leave the children with their grandma, and sail away for a long vacation. But he cant live without his minors. Hes back soon. The ten babes connect him in the ship. Its an engaging depiction of what it is to have( or be) a affectionate mother. The ludicrous realism outline you in like a nursery rhyme. Precisely right for younger painting volume readers.
3. Petes a Pizza by William Steig
Its raining. Pete cant go out to play ball with the guys. So hes in a bad humor. His father thinks it might clap Pete up to be made into a pizza. Hes right, of course! Dad kneads him and twirls him up in the air. He disperses on cheese( actually torn up fragments of paper) and applies him in the oven( actually the sofa ). This is a celebration of the parents ruse of distracting a grouchy brat with a little bit of zany comedy.( Good maneuver in the book, as far as Im concerned .) And what a wonderfully affection, inventive, energetic father William Steig has created! Pete titters like crazy. And the sunshine comes out at the end.
4. Oscars Half Birthday by Bob Graham
One of many memorable situation volumes from a master of creating papa, mums, children and all human being.( Too fairies, in fact .) A household become strolling to a green slope in the city to celebrate newborn Oscars six-month birthday. Bob Graham covers “the worlds” as a jumble of various types of lives, done beautiful by the excitement that can come between them. And in this story, theres special attention paid to minutes of prayer that children and mothers can conjure up, if they require. I enjoy the dirty-old-town give, with its colourful graffiti. And I like the spiky-haired daddy. He realise the sandwiches. He goes on with the stuff of the family daytime. He does it with love. And hes concerned one of my favourite of all situation work completes. When the kids are asleep, he pushes back the furniture and dances with Mum
5. At the Crossroads by Rachel Isadora
A brilliant volume( who are able dare publish this today ?) by the author of the evenly brilliant Bens Trumpet. In a South African township, some infants expect their migrant-labourer parents to arrive home after 10 months “. They wait, in celebratory mood at first, but with increasing tiredness and uncertainty as the day and the night go by. They tell legends to stay awake. But a very young drops-off asleep. A truck plucks up. Its not their fathers. Then the working day sunups. And, with it, the parents arrive. Theres hardly any characterisation of the pas. They come to life through most children excitement and perseverance. So does the deep emotion of an absent-minded father returning. My boys have often choice this volume at bedtime. And they know it well enough to look up curiously when the papas arrive – to check if there are snaps of joy in my eyes. There typically are.
6. Were Off to Ogle For Aliens by Colin McNaughton
Colin McNaughton was once a prolific word-painting notebook manufacturer. His perky, colorful contact is much missed. I ever feel that there are conventional filaments in it – from pantomime, or music hall even. And you dont get those working in some cool, sharper contemporary drawing journals. Were Off to Appear For Aliens is a lovely yarn. The daddy is McNaughton, himself. The legend starts with his newly published book being delivered. He demo it to his family. And here, the second largest journal is glued into the first. The book-inside-the-book is a catchy verse anecdote about a room passage McNaughton once reached. After a cord of accidents, he fell in love with a exquisite alien girlfriend and she tripped back with him. Its another original dad: irrepressibly playful, eccentric and warm. And theres a amaze. The final spread uncovers McNaughtons wife and kids have big-hearted, overhead eyeballs and additional arms…so the whole story is genuine!
7. Dont Let Go by Jeanne Willis, is borne out by Tony Ross
A story about a father-daughter relationship told in tempo and verse. Megan wants to visit her daddy. But her father is too busy to take her. Megan recommends memorizing to go her bicycle so she knows how shape the expedition alone. Dad schools her. Hes patient and promoting. I wont “lets get going” ,/ Not until “theyre saying”. So Megan overcomes her anxieties. She announces out, Okay, you can let go now! Then shes off into the delight of a first bike go( illustrated by Tony Ross, with a magical style, as a passage past a tiger, into jungle .) Meanwhile Dad is left behind, knowing hes “lets get going” of his daughter in more ways than one. Prepare in the big-hearted, wide world of a windswept park. Lovely writing, as always, from Jeanne Willis. And another human-hearted pa, alive on the page.
8. Ted by Tony Di Terlizzi
This one is for older paint work readers. The narrator is a six- or seven-year-old boy who lives with his rather serious papa. Ted is a large, pink imaginary sidekick who shows up one day, talking about birthdays and raspberries. Antics follow, which get the narrator into deeper and deeper trouble with his father. They develop a barmy game called monopoly twister. Ted causes the boy a bad haircut. They paint the walls. Then they spate the house. Dad cant take it. NO MORE TED! Ever! he speaks. But theres a good twist. Ted tells the boy not to worry. He says he was once “his fathers” imaginary sidekick. They used to play infinite plagiarists. He even remembers where Dads atomic blaster doll is lay. When Dad visualizes his old plaything, remembrances wake up in him. The tale is about to change. And the three of them end up playing cavity pirates monopoly twister.
9. The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey by Susan Wojciechowski, illustrated by PJ Lynch
A longer narration, more for 5-8 year-olds. It is illustrated with great skill and thought, by PJ Lynch.( And its another one that produces tears to my sees most ages I read it !) Jonathan Toomey is a wood-carver who has moved to a village, far from where his wife and baby succumbed. So this is not a usual situation work pa. He is solitary and suffering. The widow McDowell and her son, Thomas, are newcomers to the hamlet. In their move, they have lost a treasured nativity defined. So they expect Jonathan Toomey if he will carve them a new one. The carpenter reluctantly concurs. His middle warms to both Thomas and Thomass mother. He carves a beautiful replacement nativity defined. In the realise, he faces his terrible loss. And the final, beautiful, image is of the three of them walking side by side on Christmas day with laughter in their eyes.
10. My Dads a Birdman by David Almond, is borne out by Polly Dunbar
Lizzies mum has died and her leader cant cope. In fact, hes decided hes a bird. He thinks that if he was able to make a good duo of backstages, hell fly across the River Tyne and triumph the Great Human Bird Competition. David Almonds eye for whats treasured in the human drama “were living in” stirs this a profoundly enjoyable storey. Its junior myth rather than a portrait notebook. But it does have wonderful artwork by one of best available scene book illustrators at work these days: Polly Dunbar. So Ill objective my list with this. Lizzies father is just the sort of rounded, hiring daddy Im pointing to. Hes wounded and inarticulate. But he brims with stuffs that they are able make a good leader: desire, fun, devotion, intensity. And the floor has a positive outcome, as he and Lizzie try the impossible.
Photograph: PR
Sean Taylor is the author of numerous notebooks for children of many different ages. He is also the father-god of two young sons. His new picture book, A Brave Bear( is borne out by Emily Hughes, is issued by Walker Books) is a fib of a father and a son on a red-hot day.
Read more: www.theguardian.com
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The Top 5 Must Play RPGs for Every Video Game Console
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The Top 5 Must Play RPGs for Every Video Game Console
The gaming market is monstrous. Right now there are six consoles, three handhelds, and the ever present PC you can buy games for. That’s 10 different ways you can get your game on, so if you’re someone who doesn’t have the ways or means to buy all 10 platforms and every halfway decent game that arrives for any of them, you’re probably wondering which way you should go to get the most bang for your buck. I’m a bit of a gamer nerd, and so for you, I’ve collected the top five available games (in the stores now) for each console for each particular genre. Based on reviews, user comments, and my personal experience, these are the best ways to go.
This round: RPGs. The Japanese RPG market exploded in the 32-64 bit days, blowing out with a new game seemingly every week. You can blame Square for that one, bringing to the stores amazing game after amazing game, which immediately spurned every other company to release whatever dreck they could muster to keep you pumping money into their pockets. Nowadays there are hundreds of options out there, and the Japanese market isn’t the only one around. North American companies have their own answers to the RPG boom and now it’s a veritable flood of options. Here are the top five for each option you’ve got.
PlayStation 2 – The PlayStation brand name has been the home of quality RPGs since PS1 first rolled out with Suikoden and Final Fantasy games in the mid- the 90s. This list was hard because there are so many left off. Dark Cloud 2, Final Fantasy X, the Shin Megami Tensei games and much more deserve recognition, but alas these are also long as hell, so if you had more than 5, when would you ever finish them. You may notice I exclude the PS3, but I can’t really offer any PS3 RPGs for you until they’ve actually been created. We’re waiting.
1. Shadow Hearts Covenant – The Shadow Hearts series took on a serious following after this entry, one of the greatest RPG releases of the generation. It’s taken on the fantasy RPG genre blended into the realms of reality, bleeding over in church and demonology lore. Taking place in the 19th Century and following the legend of a young woman and her unfortunate destiny, it can be enjoyed alone or along with its predecessors Koudelka and Shadow Hearts (I).
2. Disgaea – This is probably the best strategy RPG released for any console ever. Released by Atlus, a brand name that has grown in and of itself of recent years to the respectability that names like Square and Level 5 now carry with their games, Disgaea is about the young prince of hell and his quest to regain his domain after being awoken. With more than 200 hours of gameplay here, count on playing for days on days. And it’s funnier than hell. These are great characters.
3. Suikoden III – The Suikoden series is the cult series. Of course, it’s slowly sliding out of cult status and into the mainstream with releases occurring every couple of years since this one. The best in the series with the possible exception of Suikoden II, Suikoden III tells the story of a huge cast of characters, all intricately entwined with one another. You play through the tale of their war, but as seen through the eyes of each character. Truly epic.
4. Final Fantasy XII – The newest release, released only two weeks before the PlayStation 3’s release, this game redefines the epic scope of prior Final Fantasies, literally reaching for the stars. Each character is fully realized and a part of the action, their story an intricate part of the game. There’s no fluff here, and the rebuild of the decades-old RPG formula was all for the better, working for the complete and total betterment of the game and hopefully the series.
5. DragonQuest VIII – Dragon Quest has always been huge in Japan, but only now did it find the same success here in the US. Dragon Quest VIII is the huge (extremely huge) result of Square Enix’s jump to full 3D glory in their series. The graphics are incredible, the characters hilarious and deeply involving, and the story arresting. The battles aren’t half bad either. And the usual monster catching glory is intact. A long game, it will keep you busy for days.
Gamecube (and Wii) – The Gamecube got shorted on the RPG options, much like its big brother the N64. Nintendo lost a lot of their clout with the RPG crowd when Squaresoft jumped ship in the 90s and they’re still trying to earn it back…so far to little success. But, the future looks bright, as Square Enix is finally producing games for the Big N, and Nintendo’s own work includes more forays into the RPG market. Here’s hoping for more, because the Wii is perfect for the format.
1. Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess – The newest Zelda adventure, Twilight Princess, is by far the best reason to own a Nintendo Wii. The game is a masterpiece on almost every level, to the point I’m almost willing to call it the greatest game ever made. We’ve heard this a lot, that this game is the greatest. That it surpasses what Ocarina accomplished 8 years ago. And as my own favorite game, it’s hard to ever put anything above Ocarina in terms of scope, depth, and innovation. No need to go into detail. Read my review of it here for more thoughts on why it’s so amazing.
2. Tales of Symphonia – The first really good RPG for the Gamecube, and still one of the only ones really. The newest entry in the hugely popular (in Japan) Tales saga, Symphonia was a huge, fun, well-told game. The characters were fun, the battle system is one of the best around, and the action was fully inclusive and crafted a long game. Symphonia was the Gamecube owning RPG fan’s one saving grace.
3. Skies of Arcadia Legends – Originally released for the Dreamcast, Skies of Arcadia was given a second life on the Gamecube, again fated to anonymity due to the failure of the console. This is a great game. It tells the story of two sky pirates who must traverse the sky ocean and save the world from a shattering war and so on. You attempt throughout the game to build your pirate rank and build up your ship. It was one of Dreamcast’s must have games and the same for Gamecube. Unfortunately so few actually had it, and now it’s not exactly easy to find.
4. Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker – The infamous Wind Waker. Nintendo’s foray into cell shading and the horrible foray into ocean mechanics. This game is still amazing. It’s Zelda after all, but it’s flawed on more than the basic levels. It’s hard to get around. The ocean is huge, and the game is short. But the parts you play, in between sailing around Hyrule are beautiful and incredibly fun.
5. Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door – The Big N rounds out the five with another in-house effort. Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door was a return to the Paper Mario fun they coined in the N64 days, this time around with the RPG elements the game seems to work best with. Incredibly easy yes, but fun as hell at the same time.
Xbox (and X360) – The Xbox, not surprisingly saw no Japanese development. Every game listed below was produced in English Speaking countries, mostly Canada actually. The style is noticeably different, but the quality is equally incredible. The strive for realism by Western developers can be seen in each of these entries. Although the lack of humor is equally as prescient.
1. Elderscrolls IV: Oblivion – The Xbox 360 has some serious horsepower. Not only is there room to spare, but the graphic output is insane at the time, and what better way to show this off than with an Elderscrolls game. Monstrous, huge worlds in which you can freely roam wherever you want and interact with your environment. This game is huge and intense. Hundreds of hours can be spent just wandering around and completing the main quest. As for getting the rest done. Who knows how long you could spend on there.
2. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic – Star Wars games were starting to get a bad rap for a while until Bioware arrived with the first full-fledged Star Wars RPG. Built on the click and wait for the action of the D&D ruleset games, KOTOR was a brilliant game that took Star Wars fans back a few thousand years to the height of the Jedi/Sith wars. It also had one of the most surprising and amazing endings in any game..ever.
3. Elderscrolls III: Morrowind – And another Elder scrolls game. This one was equally as huge as its sequel and had just as amazing graphics for its time. Elderscrolls truly stretches the imagination in terms of open world RPG exploration and making a game that will take a long time to finish. A truly wonderful game.
4. Jade Empire – Set in a fictional ancient China, Jade Empire comes from the makers of Knights of the Old Republic, and while not nearly as large in scope or length, the game utilizes an array of different combat styles and elements that make it sheer fun to play. It’s shorter and simpler than the original games from Bioware, but they make up for it with the attention to detail and the battle system upgrades.
5. Fable – Touted as an amazing achievement in world interface, Fable turned out to be a little bit of a letdown. It was smaller, shorter, and less engaging than what was claimed, but it was still a solid, fun game to play. Starting as a bland adventure you could become either entirely good or entirely evil through the actions committed during a quest. The characters are generic, the quests forgettable, but the options given to play through them all are still fun. The ending, however, leaves something to be desired, and they could have done with a few more reasons to openly explore. For a sandbox RPG, it was surprisingly linear.
Game Boy Advance – Yup, no DS games. I imagine soon, with the release of the new Pokemon game, and the surprising announcement of Dragon Quest IX coming exclusively to the DS, the RPG options there will explode, but for now your best bet in the RPG realm on handhelds is with the Game Boy Advance. Here are a few of the best.
1. Golden Sun – It’s not a masterpiece. It’s not legendary. But, it’s good solid fun, and for the size and expectations o f a handheld console it’s still pretty fun. I enjoyed it for a few reasons. First off, the gameplay is top notch. The battle system is built around a simple premise and sticks with it, but it’s still fun. The story is nothing special but it reminded me a lot of the 8-bit glory days, keeping me involved without making it impossible to keep up when I have to turn the game off every 20 minutes. Solid play and go action
2. Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire – Pokemon has been around for almost 10 years now, a regular entry in the Gameboy RPG market, really the only entry in that market, and a damn good one. By the time this pair was released (the usual duplicate games with slightly different monsters in each), the same gameplay was reused a good four times and starting to get a little old, but it’s still sound gameplay, and who doesn’t like to collect as much of something as they can. I’m older yes, but I still enjoy the mindless capture and battle system of Pokemon. It’s cathartically simple.
3. Final Fantasy IV – It’s technically a port, but a damn good port at that. I loved this game back in the days on the SNES and the idea to bring the 16-bit Final Fantasies to the GBA made me as happy as can be. This was a game I love to play, but feel goofy loading into my PS2 and sitting down to play. It’s a perfect bus play, and it plays just as great as in 1992. The classic tale of Cecil and the Red Knights never fails to capture my attention from start to finish. Of course, when Final Fantasy VI is released, I might have to replace this with that one, as we all know that VI is the greatest of them all.
4. Riviera: The Promised Land – Atlus has been bashing the PS2 market with top notch games for three plus years now, with their fantastic strategy and alchemy RPG games. They bring Riviera to the GBA with the same pedigree, a solid RPG that plays to the GBA’s strengths as well as any. It’s essentially a screen to screen game. You don’t control your surroundings so much as go from page to page within them, but the battle system is amazing and the different options and acquires immense. The story, like any Atlus game, is the real selling point and actually got me to play through it twice.
5. Final Fantasy Tactics – The portable version of the PSone classic has sucked more time from my life than any GBA game I’ve ever played. The 300+ missions are each 30-60 minutes long and the customization options equal length. This is a long game with a lot of gameplay and a fun little story. You’re Marche, you’ve been sucked into a book into the magical land of Ivalice and now you are a knight. Go!
PlayStation Portable – When the PSP first released fanboys dreamed of amazing ports that would bring their favorite games now out of print back to life in handheld format. At least one made the leap, but for the most part, RPG development on the PSP has been lackluster, and while Japan gets the Suikoden I and II pack and promises of Final Fantasies, we wait for a decent anything to play. Final Fantasy compilation anyone? Anyone at all?
1. Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth – One of the most sought after games from the PSone days, Valkyrie Profile was an amazing RPG that no one played and then no one could play as it was out of print. Ranging from $100 and up on eBay, the promise of a re-release for the PSP was a godsend for fans out there always interested but too poor to afford it. It’s a solid game at that. With rebuilt cinematics and PSP controls, this entry leads into the new PS2 game wonderfully and finally lets the rest of us play through Lenneth’s adventure.
2. Monster Hunter Freedom – Never a real big fan of the Monster Hunter games, I can still see their draw. You go and you hunt monsters. Simple as that. There’s little to hold you up, and there’s online play. It’s like Pokemon without the pesky storyline or purpose.
3. Ys: The Ark of Napishtim – A port of a port. This was originally released for the PS2 and before that, the PC, and has been watered down in between. The same classic Ys gameplay is intact, overland map, onscreen battles and fun little characters in a charming, if simple story. It’s good solid fun for a portable and tells a decent story. Even if the controls are a little broken.
4. Untold Legends: Brotherhood of the Blade – One of the launch releases with the PSP, Untold Legends is an overhead hack and slash RPG without a conscious. It doesn’t strive for amazing storyline or gameplay, just simple hack and slashes glory and it does it pretty well. It was fun because it was simple, made in a very short development cycle from the time the PSP was announced. Oddly enough, though, the sequel was nearly as good.
5. Tales of Eternia – Alright, technically it still hasn’t been released in America, but you can import it from Europe and play the English language version (or Japan if you speak Japanese). But, it’s a tales game, a pretty good one at that. Technically it has been released here too, as Tales of Destiny 2 in 2000. Unfortunately, it got completely ignored as the gaming world moved on to the PS2. This is a great game though and perfect for the PSP. Complete and intact are the great Tales battle system and one of the better Tales plots. Saving the world from the Great War was never quite so fun as in this one.
PC -The PC has always been a home for the more hardcore of gamers. The cost of constant upgrades and intensity of a PC game are legendary, and only the most hardcore amongst us are capable of keeping up. Accordingly, the games below match that mindset, though more than one of these games managed to break free of the limitations and become monstrous worldwide phenomena. I’m looking at you Blizzard.
1. World of Warcraft – Okay, so duh right? Well, some of you are probably palpitating over my choosing this above some other MMORPG, but too bad. Everyone plays this one, including myself and it’s just plain fun. Having spent hours of my life in this game and knowing that I can go back whenever I want without fear of being destroyed because of the MMORPG laws of survival (never leave), this is a great pick up and play a game in a genre where that almost never exists. Huge, tons to do, and always fun even when you’re grinding, WoW is still the best.
2. Baldur’s Gate 2: Shadows of Amn – The Baldur’s Gate games are some of the best RPGs to come out of the PC age of D&D ruleset RPGs. It’s big, it’s long, it’s fun as hell. The challenge of figuring out what to do, how to upgrade your characters and make the game the most it can be were always the number one reasons to play these. The story is pretty awesome too. Don’t forget the Dragon. That dragon is a bitch.
3. Diablo II – Diablo II stole my entire summer my sophomore year of high school. This game was amazing. It took everything Diablo did and blew it up times ten. The ability to find and receive unique weapons that 1000 of your friends would never find kept you playing over and over again. And it was simple. Click, click, right click. F1. That’s it. Nothing to it. And when you finally unlocked the Cow level, then you were the true God of Diablo.
4. Elderscrolls IV: Oblivion – Many of you probably can’t even play this yet. I still can’t. I only know of it because I have a friend who upgrades his computer ever three weeks seemingly. This game is a beast of the highest order, demanding a lot from your system but delivering even more. Monstrous, huge worlds in which you can freely roam wherever you want and interact with your environment. This game is huge and intense. Hundreds of hours can be spent just wandering around and completing the main quest. As for getting the rest done. Who knows how long you could spend on there.
5. Neverwinter Nights – Another D&D ruleset game, but one of the best no less. It’s huge, monstrously huge. And tack on the expansions and you’ve got 200+ hours of action to play through. The biggest seller on this one though was the ability to craft and write your own adventures as a DM with the toolsets and host them online, ala D&D, but with graphics. The sequel doesn’t quite hold up to the original, but still, carries the same weight and fun factor.
I’m a self-avowed unemployed writer, working on a semi-constant basis to try and overcome the need to go and work a real job.
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Hiiii! I read on here that you’ve been super busy so I hope you’re doing well
hi sweet anon!! im so so sorry for the delay on this. i took a big step back on tumblr during the month of march because i had so much happening. it was difficult and so im sorry im behind on this cute ask. YES I ULT CHAN WITH THE FIRE OF 1000000000 UNIVERSES. hes literally my heart and soul. AND YES SWEET HOSEOK IS MY SUN AND STARS OF THAT UNIVERSE. im so excited to match my mutuals. i love these theyre so much fun. i got lots of rest, thank you so much bean
yoongi + @daegusoftboys: ive said it before and i will say it again: joongi is my otp. i know she has other biases in other groups but like...theyre passing fancies. joongi is the moon that hangs in the night sky. they are such a strong yet soft power couple. like the coolest couple in the room. delicate and pure and sweet, while also so deeply intense in the way they communicate and understand each other. theres a lot of earth and air energy in their partnership, and i just get so delighted knowing they would be each others rock. together there is literally nothing they cant do. SO with that said, joongi are going out on their 5000000000000th date and i guess are engaged at this point? they are going to a dog park, where they are going to sit and play with doggos and hug them and then have a picnic on the water with a lot of cheese and wine and laughter and i and all our friends will sit 100 yards back crying about how much we love them
taehyung + @from-dae-do-dae: i have also said this before and i will say it again: fei and tae are going on their third date to an art museum. its starting in the morning and its going late into the night. i imagine them at the met in new york, looking at classical art and moving between movements until they get to american mid century pastorals. this is where they discuss light and the movement of light in the styles of paintings. then they move to the photography hall where they spend FAR too long, discussing filtering, development techniques and mixed media. then they go to the hall of instruments where they both shed a few tears, and fei goes on to discuss how caravaggio, as amazing as he was, was mostly a painter of music and tae swoons so hard he almost goes blind. at 5 the museum is about to close so and they realize they havent eaten, so they go to dinner at a nice restaurant to have tapas and seafood fare with wine. they talk about the art they saw, and then move on to discuss deep thoughts, hopes and dreams. they expose each other raw but in a gentle fashion, the kind where you ask a series of questions no one can follow until they arent even sure why theyre discussing the reasons its difficult for them to accept and receive love, but there they are - two bottles of wine in and still they dont want to stop. so they walk through central park along the water and for some reason they dont need to talk anymore they just want to be together. /this got out of control/
jimin + @yeol-stole-my-soul: these beans are going to disney world and universal. fight me about it. jimin needs to loosen up and have fun and maria sleeps even less than i do, and needs to be somewhere she can bang pots and pans as loudly as she wants and no one will mind. i fantasize about them running around, going on all the rides, eating everything, screaming at everything, and then staying out until the park closes. the park empties early of kids around 10 so thats two hours of no lines and running around the park doing everything twice. fun. pure fun. FUN AND - romantic. dont think so? jimins face lighting up at the fireworks over the castle - thats fucking magical. marias face when she realizes not only is the food in epcot delicious, but it tastes just like how her mother makes it. trust me. thats magic, and thats real shit. no one is ever as vulnerable as when theyre delighted because happiness is difficult to hold and this is something they get to hold together. when joy and nostalgia mix, that is when you really learn a person. its easy to see them scared and angry - see a person caught pure delight and that is when you see their soul.
jungkook + @queenoftheimpala: these shy beans are taking a painting with wine class. sure, kook probably wont drink and if he does hell be super slow about it. but ali, my delightful beautiful best friend, will take to the bottle like shes drinking gold and will finally let herself open up. when she lets herself go, hes done for. truly, you cant see ali being herself and NOT fall in love. his ass will swoon so hard hell fall through the floor, covered in paint. together, theyll make art. see why they pick the shapes and colours they choose, learn why they make lines different from one another. ‘my hand is shaky,’ hell say without any confidence, even though his lines are perfect. ‘ive always been terrible at art,’ ali will laugh, sheepish, even though she gets it right without trying. they dont really need to say anything to one another, they just need to exist in one anothers orbit and they will realize 1. they are so incredibly similar 2. they are both the most adorable messes and 3. they were made for one another. again, ill be standing in the back crying saying ‘this is my favourite movie.’
namjoon + @joonbird: these brilliant beans are going to a pottery class. theyre going to make something with their hands and then they are going to dinner with wine and cheese and theyre going to have conversations that range from personal history to metaphysics to philosophy to the weirdest shit theyve seen while traveling. joon will be amazed by her intellect and her wit, amy will be impressed he manages to make a mug that looks more like a bird house. she doesnt ask questions, just admires his artistic intent. at dinner the conversation carries over, though this time theyre mostly silent - making yummy noises as they eat their food and smiling across the table. this is when they start talking about places theyve been, things theyve seen, food theyve tried - experiences - delighted that now they get to experience each other.
jin+ @2seokforyook: this other power couple are going to take an improv theatre class. kim is shy and sometimes so is jin, but this is where he shines. hes delighted to show off and engage, to open himself a little and, by proxy, watch kim open up by impressing her and making her laugh. kim will be tentative at first, but the comfort and warmth he radiates on stage will be infectious and soon, with a few laughs and awkward pauses, she will find her flow, playing games and enjoying being free of any real focused thought for at least an hour. for a while, its light hearted, laughing so hard they cry a little, but then, at the end, its time to get vulnerable. its seemingly impossible, but again, theyre together, warm and in a bubble of comfort created simply because theyre together and theyre learning to have fun without any restrictions. and so they talk - really, truly talk - without words or a script about everything and nothing. and when its over, when they finally get to leave, they realize that they werent acting. not even for a second.
THANKS ANON!!! THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN!!
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