#listen I'm not gay...
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
ddollfface ยท 6 months ago
Note
Not a request but lately I have just been wanting a cute girl to kidnap me and take care of me. Admit to stalking me but her confession doesn't matter because I'm stuck with her. How she set up everything and we'll be together forever.
Just a fantasy in my mind.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I mean, who wouldn't want a cutesy bimbo to kidnap them?
Listen, no homo, but the idea of a woman coddling me, wanting to get me all dolled up, and taking care of me in a way no man can, is such a nice thought.
Anyone would love to lay around all day, waiting for their wife to come home just so you guys can sleep on the couch together, enjoying each other's company. Her hands wrapped around your middle, slipping up your shirt and nuzzling her nose into the crook of your neck. Her acrylics run up and down your sides, acting as a way to both calm you and shoot shivers down your spine.
She'd make lipstick marks all along your neck, sucking softly on the soft skin of your neck. Giggling together, you'd talk about whatever was on your mind, or what color you'd want to paint your nails.
She'd want you to be dolled up, having your hair down and nails taken care of. You'd go on simple mall dates, bundled up in the dressing room, under the guises of being "friends helping each other get dressed."
The compliments would be completely different. They wouldn't be creepy or trying to gain your favor just to get into your pants. They're genuine, something that comes from the heart because she loves to see you smile. She just wants you to look pretty, buying matching lingerie together, and braiding each other's hair.
Oh to have a girlfriend...
Tumblr media
302 notes ยท View notes
kensatou ยท 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
what if we were teammates of 19 years who said things like "i remember watching you play in latvia, thinking how lucky i was that i was going to be your teammate" and "sid saved me" and "only for pittsburgh, always with sid" and "i just always liked him from the start. always have. always will"... and we were both boys
(and what if sports reporters wrote alpha/alpha romance about us. what then.)
1K notes ยท View notes
s0up1ta ยท 3 months ago
Text
playing with them in my head like barbie dolls
Tumblr media
2K notes ยท View notes
blauespikmin ยท 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
Sooo that just happened, right fellas?
2K notes ยท View notes
lala-blahblah ยท 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Watching ace attorney playthroughs again and this isn't even enough of a reach to be a joke this twitter post is just exactly what happened
558 notes ยท View notes
brainrotcharacters ยท 3 months ago
Text
I feel as if I'm the only one who caught it, so
Tumblr media
Adamantium katanas. I need you to hear me. Adamantium katanas.
There's something so ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆnice๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ about how it's the one material Logan has known for his entire mutation... And it's actively being wielded now, by a similarly skilled dual wielder mwah ily Wade, with the intention of severely harming Logan. Debilitating injury is the next best thing to guaranteed death, and they're both flattered that the other is trying so determinedly to kill them. Like awwww baby!
And and anddddddddd ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ the balance of how Wade has more range with his adamantium but Logan has more power/experience with his. What good is Wade's speed and agility when Logan can read every single fucking one of his moves?
Logan realistically missed some but I'm tryna make the old man sound cool here. Let me have this.
Correct me if I'm wrong, there's a total of one (1) other opponent who has adamantium. That badass lady with the cracking fingers in x2. That's one (1) other experience where Logan knows what adamantium feels like when it's used against you.
This fight was another nail in the coffin of the fact that Wade and Logan are either complementary or just straight HAHA equals.
Something Logan has intimately known, in the use of someone he hasn't intimately known yet. That Honda hatefuck was the climax in more ways than one sorry.
641 notes ยท View notes
poorly-drawn-mdzs ยท 11 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
No time to play. You are being sent away.
[First]ย Prevย <โ€“->ย Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#yu ziyuan#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#Do you know how hard it was to *not* do a 'Sold To One Direction' spoof comic? It took nearly all my will power.#Mostly because it misaligns a little too far off from the canon events and vibes.#But sit with me for a moment. Consider it:#โ€œBEEP BEEP BEEP. I threw my pillow at my alarm clock. โ€Wei Wuxian get your lazy ass downstairs!โ€œ Yu Ziyuan yelled.#I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror to see my grey orbs staring back at me.#I put my long straight black hair in a ponytail with a red ribbon.#I went downstairs to see my adoptive mother holding a bottle of vodka and a cigarette.#'Listen up whore! I need money to pay the bills so I sold you. Your new owners will be here any minute so go pack!'#I stormed upstairs. There was no way I was going to let her sell me to a creepy old man!#I decided to run away. Since I'm not like other girls I don't have very many friends.#My gay friend Lan Zhan was mean but he lived like a block away.#As I opened the door I saw Wen Chao blocking the door. 'Ello Love. We're your new owners!'#I rolled my eyes and pushed him. 'Aren't you from that stupid Wen Sect? There's no way in hell I'm going with you!'#Hey again. It's me the OP of this blog taking a pause. I haven't actually read this story before aside from the memes#and I am honestly reeling from how this watpad fic chapter ends. What do you mean one of the one direction boys chloroforms her???#Chapter 2 is so much worse#Why is there such a strong focus on the *eyes* of every boy!!!#This fanfic is a horror story actually. I came into it trying to make a funny parody but I got in over my head. Dear God.#It's me again. Several minutes have passed and I'm on chapter 4. What the FUCK is going on here?#I feel like I opened up pandora's box hoping for a fun little treat and got the plauge upon me. Dont read this fic.
2K notes ยท View notes
galactaknightyaoi ยท 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GALACTA KNIGHT!!!! And congratulations to Meta Knight for experiencing the Cain Instinct for the first time.
Galacta Knight, as you might've been able to tell already, is one of my favorite characters, and KSSU is one of my favorite games (the original SS was my introduction to Kirby!) so I wanted to go all out. Happy day, old man. I pray for at least 20 more years.
Oh, and don't worry! He's not upset about the cake smash, he thinks it's funny. And he got back at him.
Tumblr media
As for the in-universe explanation for there being 16 candles in his cake?
Tumblr media
... 500+ didn't fit in safely.
The birthday boy and his family were just a bit too flammable.
276 notes ยท View notes
imagineacoolusername ยท 7 months ago
Text
twin sirius & regulus, and remus & lily & james all work in the same store or shop or wherever, and they're all crushing on this one customer, but they're kinda confused bc he flirts with all three of them, but sometimes he only flirts with remus and calls james mate, or he flirts with lily and james and just nods his head at remus, and they're not entirely sure what's going on
777 notes ยท View notes
roublardise ยท 21 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
6x01 - Exile on Main St.
presented without commentary bc where do i even start.
being so distress at the idea his heterosexual relationship could have been avoided ? making it sound like he made some kind of huge effort he didn't have to (to be a with a beautiful woman for a year ?) only reason he went to these concepts (a woman. a kid.) is out of exterior motivation/pressure. ok!!
341 notes ยท View notes
trans-androgyne ยท 3 months ago
Text
Gay trans men and mascs: I'd like to hear about your experiences with transandrophobia in gay culture if you're willing to share some. I'm looking to better understand how transphobia operates within it, but would love to hear positive trans experiences as well. Ears are open for anyone outside that category with relevant experiences as well of course, just please specify that. Thank you!
302 notes ยท View notes
madootles ยท 28 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
tma sketch dump!
231 notes ยท View notes
thresholdbb ยท 7 months ago
Note
what's the threshold theory
There was a post about how Tom is the only crew member who isn't really affected by the Borg, and there's a theory that he has so much luck because he saw the past and the future when he crossed the transwarp threshold. He saw the past and the future, all of time and space. There's some subconscious part of him that remembers that experience. In fact, Tom refused to play a part in Chakotay indulging Annorax's temporal incursions, probably because a part of him knew nothing good could come of it.
If we extend that same theory to Janeway, some of her wild luck with time travel and other crack plans starts to make sense. She doesn't verbally hate time travel until after the events of Threshold, since it happens in Time and Again without complaint. Janeway has an uncanny knack for time travel, as evidenced every time she deals with it. She hates time travel, but it might be because part of her knows exactly how to manipulate the timeline. She manages to avoid the "inevitable" temporal explosion in Future's End, saving both Voyager and Braxton. She resets the entire timeline in Year of Hell, and no one else followed her reasoning. She pulled it off flawlessly. In Relativity, she senses the incidents are all related, despite it being just one reading that connects them. By the time she's involved, she has a temporal incursion factor of .0036 and a time travel protocol named after her, even if that may just be Braxton's personal grudge. Then there's Endgame, where she intentionally changes the timeline. Up until this point, she has been dragged into time travel, but for the first time, she jumps in on purpose. How does Admiral Janeway know how to get them home sooner in a way that completely avoids the Temporal Integrity Commission? It's because she has seen all of time, and part of her knows exactly what needs to happen so she can get Voyager home and do it in a way that becomes baked into the prime timeline. Maybe she doesn't consciously remember what happened during her transformation, but the experience lives in her mind somewhere, guiding her decisions.
#every day is threshold day#tldr threshold cemented the time travel shenanigans#we're not counting her disparagement of time travel in relativity i know it's technically before threshold#but they've messed with the timeline so much that her past timeline is also changed.#Time travel is funny because the past is the future the future is the past#so while relativity comes before threshold in the prime timeline her timeline has also been changed in a way that it wasn't before threshol#we could chalk it up to a writing oversight but this is more interesting#not to mention her uncanny luck with the Borg which I think ties in as well#it's part of why her instinct is so strong#also the bio neural gel packs but that's a different theory#listen she's amazing with or without having seen all of time and space but she has seen all of time and that must have affected her somehow#those little salamander babies also have all of the cosmos in their mind#tried to explain as concisely as possible but it is part of my overarching theory#she doesn't second guess herself nearly as much following their jaunt into transwarp#I have more but I'm trying to be brief cause it's written up partially in my drafts somewhere and i have some things i need to do today lol#meta#Star Trek voyager#Kathryn janeway#threshold day#did you expect me thresholdbb to not have a serious threshold theory?#listen I can make anything nonsense and turn anything into a serious theory I was known for this kinda bs in grad school#I wrote a 25 page paper on NOTHING once#I wrote a paper about how corn fields were super gay and it made my professor cry I can spin the bullshit it is one of my skills
500 notes ยท View notes
starrspice ยท 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
He might not always understand but he could listen to you all day
2K notes ยท View notes
thelovers-thedreamers-and-me ยท 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
btw. in case you were worried that I'm not still the cutest guy you know.
230 notes ยท View notes
c0ffeeboy ยท 9 months ago
Text
let me make you listen to Hozier while we sit on a random roof. let me tuck myself into your chest while 'Like Real People do' plays through the shared headphone we're wearing. run you fingers through my hair as i kiss your fingertips as we listen to my playlist. i'll let you make fun of my music taste. i'll let you skip any song you want. let me just fall asleep listening you hum along with the song you know. hold me close so i don't get cold. let us both forget there is a world outside of this rooftop.
231 notes ยท View notes