#listen I'm not gay...

[ddollfface]

Not a request but lately I have just been wanting a cute girl to kidnap me and take care of me. Admit to stalking me but her confession doesn't matter because I'm stuck with her. How she set up everything and we'll be together forever.

Just a fantasy in my mind.

I mean, who wouldn't want a cutesy bimbo to kidnap them?

Listen, no homo, but the idea of a woman coddling me, wanting to get me all dolled up, and taking care of me in a way no man can, is such a nice thought.

Anyone would love to lay around all day, waiting for their wife to come home just so you guys can sleep on the couch together, enjoying each other's company. Her hands wrapped around your middle, slipping up your shirt and nuzzling her nose into the crook of your neck. Her acrylics run up and down your sides, acting as a way to both calm you and shoot shivers down your spine.

She'd make lipstick marks all along your neck, sucking softly on the soft skin of your neck. Giggling together, you'd talk about whatever was on your mind, or what color you'd want to paint your nails.

She'd want you to be dolled up, having your hair down and nails taken care of. You'd go on simple mall dates, bundled up in the dressing room, under the guises of being "friends helping each other get dressed."

The compliments would be completely different. They wouldn't be creepy or trying to gain your favor just to get into your pants. They're genuine, something that comes from the heart because she loves to see you smile. She just wants you to look pretty, buying matching lingerie together, and braiding each other's hair.

Oh to have a girlfriend...

[gongyussy]

what if we were teammates of 19 years who said things like "i remember watching you play in latvia, thinking how lucky i was that i was going to be your teammate" and "sid saved me" and "only for pittsburgh, always with sid" and "i just always liked him from the start. always have. always will"... and we were both boys

(and what if sports reporters wrote alpha/alpha romance about us. what then.)

[s0up1ta]

playing with them in my head like barbie dolls

[blauespikmin]

Sooo that just happened, right fellas?

[roublardise]

6x01 - Exile on Main St.

presented without commentary bc where do i even start.

being so distress at the idea his heterosexual relationship could have been avoided ? making it sound like he made some kind of huge effort he didn't have to (to be a with a beautiful woman for a year ?) only reason he went to these concepts (a woman. a kid.) is out of exterior motivation/pressure. ok!!

[lala-blahblah]

Watching ace attorney playthroughs again and this isn't even enough of a reach to be a joke this twitter post is just exactly what happened

[brainrotcharacters]

I feel as if I'm the only one who caught it, so

Adamantium katanas. I need you to hear me. Adamantium katanas.

There's something so 🏳️‍🌈nice🏳️‍🌈 about how it's the one material Logan has known for his entire mutation... And it's actively being wielded now, by a similarly skilled dual wielder mwah ily Wade, with the intention of severely harming Logan. Debilitating injury is the next best thing to guaranteed death, and they're both flattered that the other is trying so determinedly to kill them. Like awwww baby!

And and anddddddddd 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 the balance of how Wade has more range with his adamantium but Logan has more power/experience with his. What good is Wade's speed and agility when Logan can read every single fucking one of his moves?

Logan realistically missed some but I'm tryna make the old man sound cool here. Let me have this.

Correct me if I'm wrong, there's a total of one (1) other opponent who has adamantium. That badass lady with the cracking fingers in x2. That's one (1) other experience where Logan knows what adamantium feels like when it's used against you.

This fight was another nail in the coffin of the fact that Wade and Logan are either complementary or just straight HAHA equals.

Something Logan has intimately known, in the use of someone he hasn't intimately known yet. That Honda hatefuck was the climax in more ways than one sorry.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

No time to play. You are being sent away.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[madootles]

tma sketch dump!

[galactaknightyaoi]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GALACTA KNIGHT!!!! And congratulations to Meta Knight for experiencing the Cain Instinct for the first time.

Galacta Knight, as you might've been able to tell already, is one of my favorite characters, and KSSU is one of my favorite games (the original SS was my introduction to Kirby!) so I wanted to go all out. Happy day, old man. I pray for at least 20 more years.

Oh, and don't worry! He's not upset about the cake smash, he thinks it's funny. And he got back at him.

As for the in-universe explanation for there being 16 candles in his cake?

... 500+ didn't fit in safely.

The birthday boy and his family were just a bit too flammable.

[imagineacoolusername]

twin sirius & regulus, and remus & lily & james all work in the same store or shop or wherever, and they're all crushing on this one customer, but they're kinda confused bc he flirts with all three of them, but sometimes he only flirts with remus and calls james mate, or he flirts with lily and james and just nods his head at remus, and they're not entirely sure what's going on

[wisteriagoesvroom]

in theory i should despise you

🍊🍎 a carcar fic 💆‍♂️ in which carlos is a private banker, oscar is his EA, and oscar finally quits 📝 11.1k words 🌶️ rated E 🔗 read on ao3

preview:

On Christmas Day, Carlos stands in Oscar’s doorway. He sighs and pushes a small bag into Oscar’s hands. “My mother made tiramisu,” Carlos says, by way of explanation. Oscar blinks at the glass tupperware – of course, it’s glass, not plastic – and glimpses its cake-y contents. “Isn’t Tiramisu Italian?” “We are Spanish, Oscar. We are patriotic, not allergic to good food.” “Did you get my email?” Oscar says, ignoring the snipey comment. He leads the way to the fridge and puts the tiramisu away. He’s not even sure if it’s safe to eat after four hours in transit, but it does seem like Carlos in his infinite wisdom did pack the tiramisu-from-Spain in several coolant bags, and there’s dried ice in there too. Either that, or someone else (like Carlos’s mum) was actually well prepared. Story of Carlos’s life. “You came all the way, with a tiramisu on the twenty fifth of December, to tell me you received my message?” Carlos doesn’t answer, so the question stretches out between them. Oscar lets it. He senses that Carlos came here with an intention, even if Oscar for the life of him can’t work out what it actually is.

or, for those of you who enjoyed this headcanon, here it is now as a full(er) fic

also thank you x1,000 to the amazing @miamimaiden for betaing this in record time !!

and edited to add: this little carlos POV for those interested

[bandsandwristbands]

hihihi you're really cool and I love your art :D

Me???? COOL??? If you say so pal! 👉😎👉

AHHHH THANK YOU!! You're really cool 🫵

Pls accept more gaalee training shenanigans! 😚💕💕💕💕💕

[starrspice]

He might not always understand but he could listen to you all day

[crossbackpoke-check]

blessed be (lorscher bienensegen) | telling the bees (wiþ ymbe)

"Bees" [remixed, abridged], Claudia Emerson // "Letter to Someone Living Fifty Years from Now" [remixed. abridged], Matthew Olzmann // "Letter to my Great, Great Grandchild" [remixed, abridged], J.P. Grasser | Len Redkole, Nina Weiss, Brian Babineau, Christian Peterson, Mitchell Leff, Dave Isaac, Megan DeRuchie

[thelovers-thedreamers-and-me]

btw. in case you were worried that I'm not still the cutest guy you know.