#listen I love fw I really do but I also think it's a bad book in terms of fantasy

[bookdragon-shenanigans]

I just read the fourth wing bonus chapter and MAN. I knew I wasn't Xaden's biggest fan before but MAN. I honestly don't even know how they ruined a character with so much potential is beyond my understanding???? Xaden is straight up unlikable in the chapter. So many issues in the chapter.

[Caution: Listen, I love Xaden, truly. But he really makes me want to beat him up I'm sorry]

Opinions so far: (Warning: This is not Xaden-friendly I might be a major bitch for 80% 😭)

The chapter felt kind of unnecessary?? Like even if it was a cash grab (which I agree but that's not the point rn) did we really need a bonus chapter that's just the same chapter but just rewritten with some occasional Xaden comments? We could've gotten a new interaction but noooo

With the amount of obsessing talking Xaden does about Dain, you'd think Dain was the one he has a crush on. No because stop this you're literally doing the same thing you accuse everyone of doing to you. "Everyone judges the marked kids just because of what our parents did 🥺🥺👉👈" ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW??? Why are you being such a pissy bitch over the fact that he thinks you're bad for her when you literally agree???. [Coherent me update: In hindsight Xaden going out of his way to annoy Dain for entertainment is hilarious not gonna lie. Still think he was being a bitch tho]

The Imogen was missing plotline. Seriously? "Imogen was sick"?? They could just be like oh no she wiped everyone's memories so they don't remember because there is zero canon connection in her being sick. Also the fandom was spot on 💅. To be fair, I can excuse this one.

Xaden's "strategy". Why are we acting like battle strategy is a multiple choice question with one answer??? Where is the common sense?? Where is the individuality??? Where is the originality???

I just noticed this now but WHY IS THE CONTINENT THEY LIVE IN LITERALLY CALLED The Continent???? WHY ARE THEY ACTING LIKE THEY LIVE ALONE IN THE WORLD HELP

FINALLY Emery's last name

Okay I actually like passively possessive simp Xaden because let's be fr he's not noticing anyone other than Violet. He's really acting like the stupid hormonal emo 23 year old he his and I love him for that.

Xaden not understanding sibling dynamics is top tier I love this. Like this man is standing there so confused like 🧍‍♂️.

Highkey confused at the Lewellen part because I'm pretty sure they were fostered by Lindell?? Either this is shitty writing or a case of an unreliable narrator. Who knows. Not me.

SGAEYL. THAT'S IT. 🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐

"Violet would get over her sister's death eventually" CALM TF DOWN SIR. This is a civilized conversation. Okay but like someone needs to tell these people that murder doesn't solve everything. It's not even the best form of revenge 😭😭😭

I need more backstory on the Cygnis flier drama. Why only that province??? How come other provinces are safe??

"Wasn't my choice," I shrug. Lying is easy, except when it comes to Violet. I haven't quite figured that one out yet. Excuse me what

Okay, I know this is OS buildup but why were the wards down???

"Was it us?" LIAM. MY SWEET BABY BOY ILY YOU'RE THE BEST.

Okay I just realized now that Dain only name drops Rhiannon, Ridoc and Sawyer when he mentions the first years and man how did I not notice that before-

Lots of suspicious stuff. Lots.

IT HAS COME TO MY NOTICE THAT THERE IS A VERY HIGH AMOUNT OF MIRA DYING MENTIONED IN THE CHAPTER AND I DO NOT LIKE IT AT ALL

The bottom line is that I've read too much fanfiction and set my standards too high 😭😭

Anyways stan Liam my sweet summer child 🛐🛐

Update: I just came back from my exam and took a look at what I wrote here and help why was 5am me so salty 😭😭

[kotalloxaloy]

Ok, so I finally finished Burning Shores and I have several thoughts

Below the cut because I'm sure many people haven't played and I don't want to spoil anything!

I liked the DLC! I had a lot of fun. I thought the setting was really interesting, I liked the new characters and the storyline definitely drew me in and I fucking LOVE the new mount (PSA you can take it to the main map and go underwater in the expanse of ocean that you can't swim through. There is nothing interesting down there and it pops up the warning that the current is too strong, but you can swim through it no problem.)

Yes I'm sad there was no Kotallo. It's fine, I wasn't expecting him, and we only saw Sylens and Alva so the other GAIA gang wasn't there either. I am extra disappointed that we can't go talk to him more!!! But I think that it's cool that Kotallo traveling to the sundom for the new embassy is canon now. I think lots of fics put forth the idea that Kotallo would act as a diplomat for the Tenakth to the Carja in Fashav's place. Cool that it's canon now.

I chose to kiss Seyka. Normally I pick the brain options but if I'm given an opportunity to kiss a girl in games I do it! Now, I haven't had the time to process everything well enough to pick apart the romantic story line (was it rushed? was there enough lead up to it? did it make sense?) but I do think Seyka is a good match for Aloy- the whole "I broke my tribe's rules and used technology I wasn't supposed to to help me accomplish an important personal goal" is very reminiscent of Aloy using a focus despite Rost insisting that it was dangerous.

Yes I still ship Aloy with some people who are not women. The devs have not said and nothing in the game has confirmed that Aloy (or Elisabet or Beta) is a lesbian. I myself am a bisexual woman and I am a big stickler about bi erasure. I also headcanon Kotallo as Bi. and plenty of other characters for that matter. The main thing that FW and Burning Shores confirmed for me is that Aloy (and Elisabet, and presumably Beta since they have the same DNA) is queer and I absolutely love it. More queer women leads in video games!!!

The fucking villian. Oh my god. I know I just talked about being bi but goddamnit they cast SAM WITWER as the villian??? I literally have never been so disgusted by a character I was attracted to. I've had a thing for Sam Witwer for like 13 years back when he was on Being Human. I got his autograph at a con and have it displayed in a DnD book that he contributed to. I didn't even realize it was Sam Witwer until I walked into that room with his face plastered all over the walls. Before that we only heard his recorded voice and saw holograms of him-and that never looks or sounds exactly like the character. But I walked by that first photo on the left when you walk in and I literally yelled out "SAM WITWER?" listen I could go into it more as to why i'm horrified by his character but I am a Sam Witwer fan so I can and will appreciate his performance.

Walter Londra is disgusting and I literally yelled "GROSS" out loud with the way he looked at Seyka's sister. I'm so glad Seyka was like "ABSOLUTELY NOT" and put a stop to it because if I had to watch one more second I might have puked.

I liked the theme park. Dinos are fun.

I play on story mode so maybe this is because I'm on the easiest setting, but I was able to walk on and in the lava and only go caught on fire once I was like waist deep in it. that was weird.

I would like significantly more underwater content with the Waterwing. I absolutely love it an I was just going up and down into the sky and into the water. extremely cool and I just want more underwater stuff to do with it.

There was an NPC with vitiligo which I thought was neat.

I almost cried at the end of Gildun's little side quest. And when Aloy gave him a focus I just thought it was so sweet!

I kind of felt bad for Evelyn Day? I know everyone had it bad, lots of people ended their lives before the Faro Plague hit them, and I know she cheated on her husband with his best friend which is kind of a dick move. but that last recording was very sad.

SYLENS 😭😭😭 I know I probably feel more attached to him knowing that Lance Riddick has passed away. But the end there, Aloy was SO MEAN to him! I was like "NO ALOY! He isn't doing this to prove he is the smartest!!! He decided to stay when he saw the friendships you formed! You showed him that there is value in human connection and that maybe there is a little hope when people work together!" I think she saw the good in him in the end but she was so snarky about it!

I probably have more thoughts but that's enough for now. I'm not very interested in an discourse about the devs offering a love interest or if the story of the dlc was good or whatever. I had fun, I can't wait for Horizon 3, and I still love Kotallo and ship him with Aloy but I'll be just as happy if we end up with Seyka or another WLW ship in the end for Aloy. The end. Please enjoy the queue that I just filled for you!

[shslfanficreader]

Submissive Rantaro x afab Reader

NS//FW Alphabet

Requests are open!

Word Count: 3000+

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Rantaro would want to take care of you so bad, but at the same time he’s a babey and would also love for you to take care of him.

If he’s taking care of you he’d clean you up, maybe even lick you clean before getting a washcloth and wiping you over, and then he’d get water for both of you.

If you’re taking care of him he’d be so out of it and relaxed, just letting you do what you need and watching while you did all of it. He might whine as you wipe him over if he’s really sensitive or overstimulated, and it would be adorable. He’d thank you for every little thing and just act so in love in general. 

Either way, he will want cuddles and will be so happy and relaxed if you give them to him. He’d love to rest his head on your chest or be the little spoon.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your thighs so much, loves to kiss and bite at them, but loves having them wrapped around his head even more. 

He would be enthralled with your body so much, and he’d love it no matter what size or shape you are, and if you were insecure he’d make sure to show that he loves you and what you look like no matter what.

He likes his hands. They’ve always been useful to him on his adventures and he’s found that they’re even more useful at pleasuring you. The best thing about them is that he can feel you all over with them, he just glides his hands over your skin and grasps you and it’s all so amazing. You taking his hand and putting his fingers in your mouth makes him so turned on and he’d be in awe of you. Not to mention he can rub at your clit, feel how wet you are and feel you clench and your muscles spasm when he crooks them inside of you.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He 100% has a breeding kink. Not as in “you must be pregnant and have my children” type of kink, but he just. Loves the concept. There’s some risk in it but you’re always careful, and he loves coming in you, marking you as his from the inside out. And he can’t help but want to watch it leak out of you, maybe even eat it out of you. He loves when you ask him to come inside of you, and it’s not like he can say no to you anyway. That being said, you want him to use a condom? That’s not an issue at all!

He’d also love to cum on you. Anywhere. Your tummy, back, ass, boobs, face, even over your pussy. Anywhere you’ll let him. He just thinks it looks so pretty.

Oh, and if you're blowing him and you swallow? Holy fuccccck.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

If he’s going to be away from you for a long period of time, say on an adventure of something, he might steal a pair of your underwear to take with him so he can think about you even more when he’s having “alone time.”

He’d whine and moan so prettily as he holds them and jerks himself off, maybe even accidentally coming on them, and he feels so guilty about it, so dirty, but he just wants you so bad.

He’d wash them a couple of times and try to sneakily place them back in your drawer, hoping you didn’t notice.

He accidentally lost a pair once too. He never told you. He hoped you just thought they’d been misplaced.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Rantaro had experience, but not a massive amount. Like, he knew what he was doing, but he was also always learning and trying new things, and that was definitely not a bad thing in his book.

He looks much more like a playboy than he actually is.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Missionary and riding. Yes.

Missionary because he can look at you and put his face right next to yours, have his ear close to your lips and listen to you moan for him. Missionary is his favourite position if you’re pegging him too.

He likes riding because you can set the pace and take control, use him how you want to. The view is a nice added bonus.

He’s a fan of any position that gets your thighs wrapped around his head too.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He’s very sweet in the moment, probably on the more serious side, but not against being goofy and having fun with you. When he’s feeling subby he usually just feels like being intimate with you and is a bit more romantic than normal. He’s just a needy boy.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

I’m not going to say whether I think it’s green or not, okay? (But probably, yeah.)

But!

He keeps things relatively natural. He doesn’t shave or anything like that, but he might trim a bit to keep things neat.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

Oh, sub Rantaro is most definitely romantic. He likes to be sweet towards you and keep things nice and intimate. He definitely feels a lot more like you’re making love instead of fucking when he’s submitting to you sometimes.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Sometimes when you’re not around and he really needs you he’ll hump and rub against your pillow until he comes. He feels bad about it after. He always washes it before you need to use it again and usually pretends he spilled something on it. Hmmm, something…

He’s really sensitive on the underside of the head of his dick, so he pays special attention to that area when he jacks off, twisting his wrist as it reaches his tip with each stroke.

He also likes fucking himself, with his fingers and with toys, but he much prefers it when you do it. When he fingers himself he likes crooking his fingers and massaging his prostate. Pre-cum leach’s out of his cock almost the entire time he does it, it feels so good.

He likes fleshlights, dildos, butt plugs, vibrators, all that good stuff, but one toy he didn’t think he’d like as much as he does is wand vibrators. Like. Good god. That sensitive spot on the underside of his tip? Yeah, he just holds a wand vibrator there and it’s so good and makes him come so hard and so fast that it drives him crazy.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Bondage, praise, overstimulation, and edging, all the way.

He loves both tying you up and being tied up, but has a slight preference for being tied up when he’s feeling submissive. You being in control is so hot to him, and if he’s tied up you can do whatever you want. He’d never admit it but he loves it when you tease him when he’s bound. It just makes everything feel so much more intense. He loves being teased by having your fingers inside him, his cock in your mouth, a toy against or inside him, and especially by you fucking yourself onto him but just not giving him quite enough. He sometimes likes to be blindfolded too.

Does he like praising you or being praised himself more? The world may never know. 

He wants to do everything he possibly can to make you feel good and loved, but tell him he’s doing good and he’s gone.

When it comes to you he much prefers overstimulation than edging. He wants to pleasure you over and over until you can’t take anymore, and then he’ll still keep going if you’ll let him. 

He loves both overstim and edging when it comes to himself. He'll get so overwhelmed if you overstimulate him, sometimes he'd start crying, not because he wanted you to stop or it hurt, but because it was just so much, his face would be flushed red and wet with tears and sweat. He'd look like a wreck in the best way. 

When you edge him he begs a lot. His pleas of "please, please, please, I need it," would be so pretty and he would buck his hips up trying to get any friction and stimulation. He loves being edged and teased but he'll get desperate and needy faster than he likes. He wants to hold out and be good for you but once he's been edged a few times he just feels like he needs to come, so he can't help but beg.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

The best place is always a bed. You have privacy, can lock the doors, feel safe, and have everything you could possibly need.

But Rantaro does love sex in a lot of places. He loves sex on the couch, especially when you ride him, and in the shower or up against a wall. Anywhere you need him, he'll be there. 

He isn't the biggest fan of public sex, just because trying to hide can be a bit of an inconvenience. Not that the risk isn't hot. But there's also still like. The actual risk aspect, and he'd rather not get arrested. He's more inclined to want public sex if he's in a more neutral or dominant mood. There's something about being submissive that makes him want to be alone, in the privacy of his own home, secure.

He doesn't mind car sex, as long as it isn't like, on a freeway or anywhere crowded. He actually loves when you're together and suddenly you want to pull over because you want him and you just can't wait.

One place he's learned to love having sex is in tents. He has to stay in tents a lot when he's adventuring, so they've become a sort of second home to him. It gives the illusion of privacy being alone and intimate and still feels comfortable and homey but there's still a little bit of risk when it comes to getting caught because tents don't have locks or soundproofing. He loves having you alone with him in a tent.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Oh, the most mundane things turn him on. You could be reaching up and your shirt could ride up, or you could compliment him and it would go straight to his pants. 

And you wearing his clothes? No matter how poorly they fit, you're wearing. His. Clothes. How was the poor boy expected to see that and go on unaffected?

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Rantaro would be down to try most things, but wouldn't be into hurting you or having you hurt him too much. Like, spanking? Fine! Biting? Yes, please! Scratches and bruises? God, they look so pretty. But he'd never want to do something too intense or violent. He wanted to turn pain to pleasure, not seriously injure you for the sake of sex.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Hoo, boy, Rantaro loves getting oral. He loves having your mouth on his cock or your tongue in his ass. You look so pretty and feel so good with your mouth around him, and when you eat him out he's putty in your hands. He loves that you feel safe enough with him to do something considered so dirty.

But what he loves even more is giving you oral.

This boy is a giver, especially when he feels submissive. He wants to make you feel as good as possible, and he has a wicked mouth that he knows how to use. He licks around and into you but makes sure to suck at and play with your clit more so, because that’s when your hips buck into his mouth and your hands find his hair.

He loves eating ass. This is a fact. He loves feeling your muscle contract around his tongue, and he loves being used in any dirty way you want.

What better way to submit to someone than to have them ride your face?

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Rantaro prefers being slow when he's subby and emotional, because in that case he wants to be intimate with you, and he likes being slow and sensual for that type of thing. Of course, the closer either of you get to coming the faster and harder he'll go.

But when he's feeling subby purely for the sake of submitting? Ride that boy fast and rough until he cries. Better yet, order him to fuck you hard until you come. If he comes before you? Oh well...

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He prefers sex, especially if he's subbing. It's hard for him to deal with being in that headspace for a quick fuck, for you to just go about your days after. No, he wants to take his time with you.

That being said, if you're both in the mood and don't have much time. A quickie's better than nothing. Hell, it's still a magical experience, he'd just like that magic to last a little longer.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Oh yeah, Rantaro is absolutely game to experiment and take risks. He’ll try most things, but most definitely has hard limits that he doesn’t want to cross.

Let’s just say road head sounds like a great idea until you come and almost crash into a pole with your pants down.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

It depends. If you’re overstimming him every round, then he can’t go for as many. It gets really overwhelming for him. 

Oh, he can last, but not if you’re purposefully doing everything you can to make him come fast and over and over.

If he’s setting the pace and fucking you though, he can keep going for a long time. Of course, if you want him to go harder, faster, he will, but he might come a bit faster too, as anyone would.

But even if he’s overstimulated and can’t take any more that doesn’t mean his mouth and hands don’t still work, and that boy will do whatever you need until you’re satisfied. Say you have trouble coming from penetration, or coming in general. He will do everything in his power to get you there. If you can’t, he’ll be disappointed, but only because he thinks you deserve all the pleasure he can give you.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He most definitely owns toys, both for himself and for you. 

He likes using them on himself when he’s all alone and when he’s with you. If you want him to put on a show, of course he will. If you’re the one to use the toys on him it always feels so much more intense for him, probably because he’s not expecting what you do and just because it’s you in general.

He likes watching you use toys on yourself too, or using them on you himself. One of his favourite things to do is to fuck you with a vibrator whilst he sucks on your clit.

He owns both the basics and a few other bits and pieces that don’t get used as often but are still a lot of fun.

A few of the things he has are vibrators and dildos and butt plugs of all different sizes and colours, even a fleshlight. He has some rope and handcuffs and a paddle too.

A couple of his favourites are a prostate massager and a remote control vibrator that was a lot of fun if not a little bit embarrassing.

He also just had. So much lube. It’s everywhere. In the bedroom, the bathroom, his car, his travel bags, your car, the living room, even the kitchen. Who keeps lube in the kitchen? It’s bound to lead to something disastrous some day.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

When he’s feeling submissive he doesn’t tease as much as usual. Hell, he doesn’t really tease at all, he wants to be a good boy and do everything you could possibly want. He’s a service sub. 

He loves being teased himself though. Make him use that pretty voice to beg you to give him “just a little more please.”

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s not overly loud but he does whine and moan a lot. He whimpers and begs a lot too, especially when you edge him. 

He talks a lot too, but not necessarily dirty talk. It’s more like he doesn’t even know he’s speaking and incoherent babbling starts coming out of his mouth, but you can always hear a lot of things like “you feel so good,” “please,” and “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Two words: morning sex. Just imagine it. Rantaro wakes up first. He cuddles into you and he’s already half hard from a dream he was having. He still feels sleep soft and he has an insane case of bed head. He’s snuggled up to your back and slowly starts to grind up against you, he knows you wouldn’t mind. Once you wake up he doesn’t stop. As he gets closer he asks if he can fuck you. If you let him he’ll gently slide inside of you and fuck you slow and deep until he’s moaning and groaning at your ear.

If you say no, he’ll ask if he can fuck your thighs. He’d thrust back and forth, loving the pressure and wrapping a hand around you and holding on to your tummy or rubbing your clit, until he comes in between your legs and you come too, if you’ll let him make you.

If you say no to that too, he’ll take care of himself, fucking up into his own hand until he comes over his tummy.

He also loves waking you up by eating you out. His head under the covers, mouth gliding over and sucking on you. He loves when you wake up and you finally put your hands in his hair.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s about average girth and slightly above average in length. Honestly, he has such a nice cock, and he definitely knows how to use it. It isn’t massive, which he actually likes. He wouldn’t want to hurt you or intimidate you too much.

His cock always turns a pretty red when he’s close, and he doesn’t really like that, but the colour does look so pretty when it’s against your skin.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive in general is a bit higher than average. When he’s submissive he always wants sex more because it’s a way for him to let go and feel intimate with you. You can tell he wants sex if he wants to cuddle and he puts his head in the crook of your neck to nuzzle there and moans fall from his lips. He also pushes his body against yours and just wants to be as close to you as possible.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn’t always fall asleep, sometimes he’s content to just lay with you and maybe watch some tv. If he does fall asleep, it’s always after you’re both done with your aftercare and he knows you’ve been well taken care of.

Tags: @mius-imagination

[ghastspidergwen]

I love @doctorsiren's dadskall au, and I thought I'd write a little fic about it. basically, the dadskall au is where xisuma and ex (alex)'s dad is doomguy, but some sort of accident/crazy magic/whatever made him and iskall share a body, go check out doctor siren for the whole story, she has great art, too!

disclaimers (you can completely ignore this section if you want): I have played about 15 minutes total of all the Doom games, read none of the books, seen none of the movies, but the ost is great, so this will probably be ooc for doomguy. xisuma and alex are more based on the featherweight au versions, not the real hermitcraft versions. this story is not part of the dadskall au nor any of dr siren's other aus, it's just a break for me to write some fluff. it takes place ~3-4 years after where fw currently is (s7 election era) but is not set in the fw au world. link to the post part of this is based on. ...and I think that's everything, onto the fic!

.

Xisuma took a deep breath, “I think dad’s alive.”

“You said you saw him die,” Alex, previously known as Evil Xisuma, said, turning to his brother, “They told me he died”

“He wasn’t exactly dead, it’s hard to explain. It’s more like...the horcruxes in Harry Potter. When dad died, I think there was some magic at play that made it so his ‘soul’ transferred into the nearest healthy, person. And I think I found them.”

“Uh-huh, and who might that be?”

“HALLO!” Iskall burst in, “What did you need me for?”

“Iskall? Seriously?”

“He was there that night and I have no reason to believe-”

“You really think Iskall-”

“It’s my best guess, everyone else was injured, and the magic had to choose the nearest healthy person, so it must be Iskall.”

“What must be Iskall?”

“Are you sure we’re talking about the same Iskall?”

“No, Iskall86,” Xisuma said, sarcastically, “Of course this Iskall, how many Iskalls do we know?”

“I still have no idea what we’re talking about, can -”

“No!” The void brothers turned to him and responded in sync. Xisuma pulled his brother into a side room, “Stay right there, thanks Iskall.”

“What?”

Xisuma exhaled and closed the door behind them, “Phew, OK, I have reason to believe that 13 years ago, Iskall was present the night that dad-y’know-and since everyone else there was either corrupted or injured, as the only uninjured person, dad’s spirit ended up inhabiting his body, but’s been so weak that it was only using Iskall as a means of staying alive, not influencing him or trying to take control of his body at all. Do you get me?”

“A little.”

“And I think I know the spell that will separate them, and give dad his old body back,” They went back into the main room with Iskall, “Should I do it now?”

“Blast ‘im,” Alex backed out of the room, putting a protective wall between him and the magic.

“WHAT?!”

A glowing green ball of energy swirled between Xisuma’s hands, and Iskall backed into the wall, “H-hey Xisuma, what are you doing?”

“This...shouldn’t hurt.”

Iskall held up a hand in a stop gesture, “SHOULDN’T?!”

Xisuma blasted him with the magic. Iskall glowed green, floated into the sir, then split into two people who fell down.

“I...think it...worked,” Xisuma muttered, collapsing to the floor.

Doomguy looked up, and noticed someone lying, unmoving, on the floor. His saving-people instincts kicked in, and he pulled himself over to the person. “C'mon, don’t be dead, don’t be dead,” he said, shaking them.

Someone was shaking Iskall. He sat up and opened his eyes, “Holy heck, it’s Doomguy!”

“You’re alive!” Doomguy said relieved, and pulled Iskall into a hug.

Absolutely starstruck, Iskall sat there, frozen. It’s Doomguy, I love Doom, Doomguy is right here, and he’s hugging me, it’s Doomguy! Iskall’s mind looped.

Pulling out of the hug, Iskall spotted Xisuma crumpled on the floor, “W-wait, I got-gotta check on my friend.”

Doomguy turned around, and spotted his son on the floor.

“Xisuma!” He stood up and stumbled toward him.

“Wait, you know Xisuma?”

“He’s my son. Well, your son, too. Our son.”

“Wha-”

“Short answer, I am you. You are me. We’re the same person.”

Looking at his hands, one thought crossed Iskall’s mind, I’m Doomguy. It was closely followed by “I HAVE A SON?”

“Two sons.”

“TWO SONS? And one of them is dying!” Iskall sprinted across the room and cradled Xisuma’s head, “I don’t know what to do!”

“Health potion?” Doomguy suggested.

“Oh, yeah,” Pulling a potion of healing out of his inventory, Iskall splashed it onto Xisuma. He held his breath and waited to see if it would work.

Xisuma opened his eyes. He sat up.

“Dad!” He jumped up, and buried his face in his dad’s chest plate, giving him a hug the same way he did when he was younger.

“I’m your dad, too,” Iskall said.

“You know?” Xisuma asked, breaking off the hug.

“Yeah, Doomguy told me. So give your poppa a hug,” Iskall uncrossed his arms and gave a very confused Xisuma a hug.

“Oh, OK,” Xisuma awkwardly pat Iskall’s back until he stepped away.

“Is Alex here?” Doomguy asked.

“He should be right outside, he didn’t want to be in the same room as an untested spell.”

“Wait, you didn’t test it? Then why did you cast it on me?” Iskall asked, panicked.

“How many people do we know that have another person living inside them?”

“Wels/Hels, I’m pretty sure Ren did for a while, a pregnant lady,” Iskall ticked off on his fingers.

“Different circumstances. Wels and Hels are one person, like two sides of a coin, Ren-I don’t know what happened with Grimdog or The Red King or whatever, but I definitely don’t want to mess with those, and did you just compare yourself to a pregnant woman?”

“Uhhh...nevermind.”

“You said Alex was just outside?”

“Yeah,” Xisuma pulled the door open, to reveal Alex sitting on a bench outside, drumming his fingers against the seat

“Did it work?”

“Yeah.” Stepping out of the doorway, Xisuma revealed their dad standing behind him.

“Hi, Alex.”

“Dad?”

“It’s me,” Doomguy sat next to his other son.

“Dad!” Alex hugged him, and they pulled Xisuma into the hug after a second. They sat there before the hug was interrupted by another pair of arms joining in.

“Family, together again,” Iskall sighed.

“What’s up with him?” Alex asked, glancing at Iskall.

“I’m part of the family, call me Dadskall.”

“OK...Dadskall, can we have awhile alone with our dad?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure. See you later.” Iskall trudged out of the room.

“I haven’t seen you guys in forever! How long was I…”

“15 years.”

“So that would put you guys in your mid-30s, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Has anything big happened in the last 15 years?”

Alex pulled off his helmet, “Nothing too bad. I was imprisoned for a bit of it,” he glared at his brother.

Xisuma also removed his helmet, “I said I was sorry, how many times do you want me to apologize?”

“I wasn’t saying it’s your fault, I was just making the point that-”

“I get it! I was an idiot and I didn’t listen to you when you were clearly right.”

“Just like old times,” Doomguy chuckled, he examined his son’s faces, “You look so much older, like real adults. I’m so sorry I missed out on the last 15 years, I would’ve loved to see you grow up.”

“It’s not like you could do anything about it.”

“I know you would have been here if you could.”

“Also how did you guys get those scars?”

“Someone needed to keep slaying the demons after you left,” Alex shrugged.

“I angered some Watchers years ago.”

“You angered some Watchers?” Doomguy asked, standing up.

“I just realized someone was right, but it was too late to save them.”

“Darn right, I was.” Alex and Xisuma also stood up.

“I...forgot how tall you were,” Doomguy said looking, at up at Alex, who was only a few inches taller.

“Oh, yeah. Xisuma was jealous he never got this tall.”

“No, I’m not!”

“Sure,” Alex smirked.

“So, anything else new?” Their dad intervened.

“Daisy’s still alive.”

“Should’ve guessed,” he chuckled.

“Oh! You’re a grandpa!”

“What?!”

“Yeah! I adopted a guy named xB. I’ll call him over, so you can meet!”

<Xisuma> hey xb, can you come on down to my base, I’ve got something to show you

<xBcrafted> ?

<xBcrafted> yeah, be there shortly

“How did you meet this xB?”

“I was doing some exploring between seasons, looking for a good seed, when I found a small single player world. xB was alone in there. Poor kid was only 13, didn’t know where his parents were, said he had been handling himself for the last 2 or 3 years, so I took him back to Hermitcraft with me. He’s a great kid, you’ll love him.”

“Xisuma has practically adopted the entire server.”

“Server? You’re an admin?”

“We both are. I’m main admin of Hermitcraft, Alex is the backup admin.”

“I’m so sorry I missed out on all of this stuff. I really wish I could have been there for you two.”

Something thumped into the outside of the building they were in, and the door opened, “Freakin’ rockets, stupid friggin’ elytra,” xB mumbled. “Oh, hey Uncle Alex, hey, dad.”

Doomguy gasped, “I love him already!”

“Wha-”

“xB, this is our dad, Doomguy.”

“Wait, I thought he was dead.”

“Wonky magic stuff.”

“OK then. I’m xBcrafted,” xB said, offering his hand for a handshake.

Doomguy scooped him up in a hug, “Hello, xB, you can call me Grandpa Flynn, or just Grandpa, or just Flynn, I don’t care. I have a grandson!”

“Nice-to-meet-you,” xB gasped.

“Dad, I don’t think he can breath.”

“Oh, right,” Flynn released his grandson, “sorry, got a little overexcited.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I’m glad you’re back.”

“Glad to be back.”

“Do you want to go meet the rest of the server? There’s just under 30 of us, total.”

“Oh, you’ll love all of them. There’s me, of course, but Hypno and Jevin and Wels and False are all set up near me, Stress and Gem are also pretty close, and Doc and Ren are just past them, and…” xB rambled as the other three grabbed their helmets.

“You ready?” Alex asked, pushing open the door.

“Let’s go, I want to meet the rest of your family.”

[sinkix]

《What your fav Haikyuu!! Character says about you│Nekoma Edition》

Yo-hoo! Here’s another part to this potential(?) series! I hope you enjoy the possible call-outs in some of these lmao. Writers block been kicking my ass recently but I had a lot of fun writing these. Enjoy <3

You can find the Karasuno ver. here 

✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧

Kuroo:

Have a hand fetish and will not say no to choking.

Daddy kink™

Will not accept anything below 6 inches.

More of a dog person but would love to own a black cat.

You drool over tattoos.

Your grades are mostly B’s but you know in your heart you deserve that A, and tbh you probably do. Chase ur goals bby.

Halloween is likely your favourite holiday.

You have to resist not to carve a dick into the pumpkin EvEry GodDAmN YeAr.

You either study for 6 hours consecutively or cannot study at all and you get very frustrated at this.

Have the potential to be a good leader and command the room but probably don’t put it to use as much as you should.

Your playlist parkours from sad 3am crying into your pillow songs to aggressive punk music you could rob a store to.

You like bad boys who hang around bars and look like they would put out a cigarette on your forearm and call you a slut. Just stating facts sweaty xoxo.

Either dress very feminine and girly with a ‘smol girl uwu’ aesthetic or a hardass punk who would kick your ass for a can of beer no in between and tbh both are equally hot.

You’re a big softie at heart either way and just want to be held and told everything will be okay.

Ur a hoe for when people stroke your hair or caress your chin it’s your ultimate weakness.

Watched Rick & Morty.

Twice.

Sleeves rolled up veiny forearms and donning a silver watch are your muse and something you fantasise about frequently.

Most of your memes are shitty top text bottom texts that are somehow funny and I don’t understand why lmao.

You call someone ‘bro’ even if it’s someone you’re immensely attracted to.

Did someone say ties? No it’s just ur dirty ass thoughts thinking about that hot business dudes attire from across the street and how you wish they were tied around ur wrists.

Probably had a crush on Jeff the Killer as a tween and are relentlessly haunted by your old Wattpad library. 

Tbh any dark-haired dude with bedhead that screams rugged and probably not good for you is something that draws you like a moth to a flame.

You often question why every person you’ve fallen for has been a Scorpio and curse that tendency of yours.

Dw man they’re hot so I feel u.

Kenma:

Went through a ‘I’m not like other __’ phase and it’s something that you think about a lot and wish you didn’t.

Watched dan & phil as a kid.

Any mention of Pokemon has you turning into a rabid beast you get way too excited.

It’s cute though dw bby.

Pretty antisocial but interesting to talk to.

Your family often question how you’re able to sleep in till 3pm and judge you heavily for it.

Nocturnal night owl gang rise up.

Frequently have bags under your eyes but somehow manage to pull it off.

Listen to ASMR on the down-low and will never admit it to a single soul.

Frequently go on BL binges and have many related book marks.

You pray that someone will never find your laptop bc holy fuck the amount of smut on that.

You wear scarves & beanies even when it isn’t that cold outside.

100% went through a scene hair phase/attempted to.

You dye your hair a lot or REALLY want to.

You have a voice kink low-key so anyone with a pleasant/soothing sounding voice just gets u goin’.

Cats are your favourite animal and you either do or want to own several.

Would name them after video game/anime characters u fuckin nerd lol.

Speaking of cats ,you fantasise heavily about cat-boys and have a folder dedicated to them.

Oversized hoodies are your vibe and always ball the sleeve hems in your fist as a comfort mechanism.

Shopping centres are your worst nightmare and trigger your claustrophobia or social anxiety and honestly I feel that spiritually.

Have a cute sticky note collection.

You like a lot of music consisting of guitar and slow/soothing beats.

You also fw EDM/ techno on occasions.

Honestly wouldn’t wanna anger you since you have a seething temper when pushed far enough.

It’s the kinda temper that’s eerily quiet but no less terrifying, like the other person can tell you are graphically plotting their demise.

You love sleeping to the sound of rainfall and often play those nature ambience videos while you sleep.

Never tidy your sheets and it’s just a big scrunched up heap of fabric in the centre of your mattress most of the time.

Make your fucking bed.

Lev:

Your ships are chaotic and shamelessly controversial.

Would do something just for the sake of creating mayhem lmao.

You were the fucker who stuck their chewing gum under the desk, I see you.

Your brain never stops whirring it’s a constant hurricane of crackhead energy and you have no idea how to turn it off. 

Would eat a stick of pencil lead for $2

You don’t help your situation with the amount of coffee/energy drinks you consume.

The class clown who cries themselves to sleep.

Such a wholesome dumbass but somehow kinda intimidating??? 

Even if you’re not confident you can do something you’ll try anyway and honestly I respect that about you.

You !! use!!! a lot??!! of!! random punctuation!!! so you always??!?!? seem!!111!! excited!!!!!11!?

Every time you’ve ever tried to make a sandcastle it has failed.

You tried to eat the sand once but we don’t talk bout that.

You would  also pick up slugs and snails and chase your friends around with them.

Can never tell whether people are laughing with you or at you and while you don’t let it show it high-key bothers you when you’re laying alone in your room at night.

Not one to hold grudges, you carry a ‘shit happens’ mentality which is v good but it sometimes leads to people taking advantage of it or walking all over you.

Your meme collection is both questionable and horrifying.

Like how many cursed images and heavily distorted pictures does one person need.

Never organise the files on your PC/laptop so it looks like a complete dumpster fire.

The one at sleepovers who persistently woke everyone else up with their snickering and refusal to sleep till dawn.

For the love of Asahi charge your damn phone.

I see that red bar and ‘12%’

Charge it now.

Bought a plant one time, gave it a name and talked to it frequently.

It died not long after bc u forgot to fucking water it.

No one better ever make you responsible for a pet.

Type of person that when someone asks you to tag along on an endeavour no matter how stupid it is you will agree.

2am skydiving in france? hell yeah.

Midnight shopping spree and spending over half your pay check? count you in.

Exploring an abandoned hospital and performing an Ouija board to summon the demons of hell? you’re damn right you’ll be there.

I hope you have a mum friend by your side bc if not how are you still alive.

You sometimes put the milk in before the cereal and it’s something I’ll never forgive you for.

Yaku:

Very responsible and usually make the right decisions.

You do have moments where you act like a complete dumbass though.

Like u go from 50 year old to 5 year old in the blink of an eye.

A hopeless romantic but it’s a side you don’t often reveal.

Prefer strawberry milk over any other flavour.

You’re the type of person to shower twice a day w/o fail.

Where that stank smell coming from? Not you clearly bc your skin is basically 90% The Body Shop’s rose scented soap at this point.

You get stomach aches a lot and you can’t figure out why.

Probably an allergy to everyone’s bs.

Really good at dirty talk even though you don’t seem the type so people are always taken aback.

You have to be really in the mood though otherwise it falls flatter than Oikawa’s ass, use your skill wisely.

You often call people clowns when you know you’re secretly the biggest one going.

Honk honk, hoe.

You send messages in one paragraph rather than multiple texts unless you are REALLY excited.

People underestimate you at times then are shocked when they realise you are capable of being a fire-breathing dragon from the flaming pits of hell.

You like spicy chicken wings.

Such a petty little shit at times lmao.

Enjoy the view from the top of mountains so you either hike a lot or really want to.

Way more of a cat person since it’s just much more convenient for you.

Usually pretty cheerful or calm and people are drawn to your stable/friendly aura.

Went through a phase of drinking mountain dew and your body still feels the awful effects

Fav element is probably air.

You’re 5′6″ or shorter.

Box dyed your hair brunette several times and can never get the pigment out to this day.

Yamamoto:

Whenever you smell something weird in the room you always internally freak out and think it’s you.

Head-butting walls is your hobby.

You fell off your bike as a kid and still have the scar on your knee.

Probably have tons of ear piercings.

Would tame a pigeon and call it Larry.

You get frequent nosebleeds and can never tell if it’s a medical issue or your extreme simping for fictional men/women.

Hopefully the latter.

You constantly chew your pen/pencil in class so you never lend them to anyone out of embarrassment.

I really hope no one ever lends you stationery bc 30 minutes later it’ll look like it was mauled by a rabid rottweiler.

You really want to own a dog and would call it something intimidating like Banshee or Diablo.

You bleached your hair that one time and it almost fell out so now you’re forced to stay at least 10 metres away from all at-home hair dye products.

You tried your best though bby so A for effort, even if it did look like dehydrated ramen afterwards.

Your grades are mostly C’s and you’re barely passing bc you just don’t care about your classes lol.

Still though you’re actually pretty smart so put it to good use you lazy oaf, channel that crackhead energy into something good.

Your phone screen has several cracks in it from when you dropped it on the bathroom floor while shitting and you’ll always be angry at yourself for that.

You have some really weird quirks but you make it work.

Actually a v chill person but you just kinda attract chaos/trouble wherever you go.

Carry a lighter with you even when you don’t need one.

Shy texter but once people see you irl you are the complete opposite, you just dk how to text without coming across as awkward.

One of those people that’s unintentionally funny and always get confused when you make someone laugh but it makes you feel good regardless.

Have a cool necklace collection and own at least one dog-tag/army style pendant.

Should really consider buying a rabbit you would look so cute w/ one.

You have really nice legs and people should compliment them more.

Either severely dehydrated or overly hydrated to the point you are peeing pure tap water so for the love of god please learn moderation, your kidneys and bladder will thank you for it.

Inuoka:

Your favourite character would be Hinata but you like people taller than you so your love for Inuoka spawned.

You really enjoy using the double spiderman meme.

Cannot correctly verbalise your feelings without creating a minimum of 10 misunderstandings but once people are used to it it’s kinda endearing.

You usually wake up in a good mood and people can never fathom how or why.

You either stay up till 5am or you wake up at that time no in between.

A morning person bc you love the sunrise.

Change your lock-screen very regularly bc you get bored.

Your humour consists solely of poop jokes.

When you don’t understand a joke you laugh anyway and hope they don’t ask you if you actually get it.

Happened once and you’re still traumatised from the cricket silence that fell upon the room.

Really like the taste of lemonade and drink it more often than you should.

Often think about what you would look like with a shaved head.

More of an extrovert but def have occasional introvert tendencies where you wanna be left tf alone.

Never allowed to pick up anything in stores bc the last time you did you sniffed a scented candle and it shattered to the floor.

Constantly have spontaneous ideas of what to change about your appearance.

You use a lot of hand gestures like thumbs up and peace signs.

‘Dude’ and ‘lmao’ is 90% of your vernacular.

Your nails are a disaster, some are down to the nub while others are pretty grown out bc you only bite a select few please sort it out.

Look really good in red.

Your laptop has way too many tabs open from random google searches of words you didn’t know the meaning to.

You read a lot of books but for like 10 minutes at a time bc you have the attention span of a walnut.

You are the type of person to nuke your AO3 tags with things that aren’t even relevant purely bc you found them funny.

Your Tumblr drafts are a nightmare, you have like 100+ in the works yet keep starting new projects why do you do this.

Happy sunshine but you have a LOT of mood swings like that shit comes out of nowhere.

Cry pretty often but no one ever sees and it’s usually because of said mood swings.

You always smile and pick yourself up again though which I commend you for.

TYPES IN CAPITALS IN SITUATIONS THAT DO NOT REQUIRE SAID PUNCTUATION SO YOU SEEM LIKE YOU’RE YELLING ALL THE TIME.

[yikesharringrove]

Happy Trans Billy Week!

Day 3: Bakery/Chef!au

@transbillyhargrove @blurbwitch

Harringrove

-

BIlly is ftm, Stevie is mtf

-

“At least just try her stuff. She’s really good!”

Robin was trying to sell Billy on her friend, again.

He had been working his ass off opening this cafe, had been interviewing professional bakers around the city for it. And Robin wanted him to hire her friend. Who baked for fun.

“And she’ll work in house! You would just have to pay her a salary, not give her a cut of everything sold.” Billy rolled his eyes.

“But then I would have to buy all the shit for her to bake everything.”

“But you’ll make bank on her stuff. She makes these little doughnut things, but they’re double fried and made with like, puff pastry.

“So not a doughnut at all.” She slapped his chest.

“Fuck you. People would pay like, five whole dollars for one ‘a those. At least just try.”

“Fine. Have her bring me some samples of stuff on Monday. I want cookies, coffee cakes, specialty pastries, crossiants, and whatever that not-doughnut thing is.” Robin grinned at him.

-

Robin came in on Monday trying to awkwardly bring a giant box into the cafe.

“Stevie couldn’t make it. She had a doctor’s appointment or something. But anyway, here’s what you asked for.” She placed it down on a table, pointing at everything.

“So she made chocolate chip cookies, gingersnaps, snickerdoodles, and teas cookies, croissants, coffee cake, carrot cake, chese cake, that doughnutty-thing, actual doughnuts, brownies and lemon bars. I think she didn’t sleep for like, four days.”

Billy was impressed. It was a good spread.

“She also made me bring a loaf of sourdough in case you’re doing like, toast stuff. I said you weren’t, but I think she feels bad for not being here.”

They tried everything.

And unfortunately, is was all fucking delicious.

“Fine. She’s fucking hired.” Billy made a list of everything he wanted to sell, thought maybe the delicious not-doughnuts could be a bit of a speicality, new flavors every week. “I’ll need a comprehensive list of ingredients, and she’ll probably have to check out the set up we got here.”

Billy hadn’t really wanted an in-house baker, but he hadn’t ripped out the ovens, proving drawers, coolers and counters in the back, so he supposed it would work out okay.

“And tell her I want an in person meeting within the next few days.”

-

Billy was scrubbing out one of the ovens in the back when he heard the bell above the door.

“Sorry, we’re closed,” He called.

“Um, I’m Stevie Harrington? I’m Robin’s baker friend? You said I should come see the space?” Billy got up with a groan, stretching until his back popped.

“You tellin’ me, or askin’.” He pushed open the back door, smirking at the girl standing on the other side of his counter. She was tall, had much fucking dark hair, falling almost to her ass and big round eyes.

“Telling. I’m sorry I couldn’t be here yesterday. That appointment was important. Billy shrugged. “I have a list of ingredients for you. I figured how many of each item per day, and broke it up into waht I would need weekly and monthly, since I don’t know how you’re planning on ordering everything.” Billy nodded at the neat handwriting.

“Your stuff was good. I was thinking for those double fried things, we could do a new flavor every week. Make them a bit of a specialty.” Her cheeks went a little pink.

“Thank you. I’m so glad you liked everything, and decidded to give me this opportunity.” He smiled at her.

“You’re talented. Come see what I got.” She followed him to the back, her eyes going wide as she looked at the industrial ovens. “This place was a bakery, so we’ve got everything you should need.” The old owner had passed away, didn’t have anyone to leave the bakery to.

“Oh, this is perfect. When’s opening?”

“We’re four weeks out. I was planning on ripping all this out, so it has to be cleaned, but everything else is ahead of schedule.” Stevie opened an oven, peerinf inside.

“They’re not too gross. The old owners tool good care of everything.” She took of her jacket, was left just in her pretty dark blue dress. “I’ll help you clean.” She smiled at him as she took the cleaning supplies from him, getting to work scrubbing down the oven.

Billy played some music as they worked, chatting lightly to one another.

“So, how’d you end up in Seattle?” Billy had shot straight up here after graduating hisgh school, didn’t want to leave the west coast, but wanted to go somewhere different. Stevie had mentioned being from a small town in the midwest.

“Just kinda needed a fresh start. Robin and I moved out here together about six years ago, now. She went to University of Washington, and I jsut wanted to live somewhere interesting for once. Plus, it’s just better for me here.” Billy nodded.

“Me too.” She smiled at him. She had put her dark hair into a messy bun to keep it out of her face, and Billy had gotten her an apron to keep her dress neat.

“What made you want to open a cafe?”

“Well, I mean, it’s Seattle.” She laughed. “But I also just liked the idea of running my own business. Building something from the ground up. And I like the vibe of cafes. They’re just in between places. You can come alone and just hang out.”  Billy had gotten many comfortable mis-matched chairs and placed them amoungst the tables and chairs. He wasnted it to be cozy. He had bookshelves on one wall, thought he could even have a take-a-book-leave-a-book kinda thing goin’ on.

“I think that’s really nice.”

-

Stevie started coming over everyday to help him clean out the kitchen. Somteims she would drag Robin, but more often than not, it was just the two of them, scrubbing everything out, listening to music and talking about random things.

But one day Stevie didn’t come in, didn’t call Billy to let him know, didn’t send Robin with a message.

Billy thought he was frustrated that his employee was missing, but really, he was just worried.

She looked tired the next day when she came in, her hair up in a messy ponytail, was wearing baggy jeans and a sweatshirt.

“I’m so sorry. I promise that will not happen again.” She had gotten right to work.

“Look, I don’t mind if you need personal days, just call me. Let me know.” She nodded at him, her eyes were bright. “Are you okay?” Her lip trembled.

“I’m sorry. I just, sometimes I have such bad days, and I can’t stand to look at myself, and I don’t want anyone else to look at me. And you’re always so nice to me, and I, I didn’t want you looking at me with your pretty eyes. I knew I would fucking fall apart.”

She was kneeling on the floor, fucking crying as she scrubbed at the proving drawer. Her make up was beginning to run just a bit.

Billy grabbed a fw paper towels, sitting down next to her.

“You wanna talk about it?” She shook her head.

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.” She wiped at her esys, smudging the dark makeup underneath. He took the paper towel from her hands, wiping up streaked makeup.

He was staring into her big dark eyes, noticed the soft honey gold in them, the forest green.

“Is it okay if I kissed you?” Her gaze dropped to his lips.

“Yeah,” she breathed.

Billy leaned in, kissing her softly, keeping it slow and chaste.

He pulled back, dabbing at her eyes again.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while. I’m sorry, that probably wasn’t the best timing, I just, I really like you.” Her lip trembled.

“The reason, the reason I was feeling so bad yesterday was, was because everytime I speak to my parents on the phone, they call me their son.” She swallowed hard.

“The last time I spoke to my dad, he called me his ungrateful bitch of a daughter. I get it, Stevie. I really do.” Stevie whimpered, another tear slipping out.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t, didn’t know if I could tell you.” He smiled at her, wiping her eyes one last time, kissing her cheek.

“That’s okay. You don’t have to tell anyone anything.” She gave a watery laugh.

“Thank you, for being kind to me.”

“You’re a good person, Stevie. You deserve kindness.” She smiled at him, pulling back to take a deep breath. “And I meant what I said. I really like you. I’d like to take you on a date, if that’s okay.”

She nodded vigorously, ponytail bouncing.

“Oh, yeah! I had the biggest crush on you since I walked in here. I mean, Robin’s been trying to set us up for like, months.” BIlly raised one eyebrow, giving her a lopsided smile.

“Are you serious? Is that why she was so insistent on me trying your stuff?”

“Well, and that fact that I’m a damn good baker.” He laughed. She was grinning as she moved back to scrubbing the drawer. “She’s gonna be so smug. I can already hear her. Stevie, I TOLD you that you would love him. He’s JUST yout type.” Billy grinned iwder.

“And what is your type?”

“Beefy assholes that’re way smarter than me.”

[grlsgen]

my favorite 2020 kpop songs

there were some bangers this year... this includes title tracks & bsides and everything else under the sun.

i always got shit to say and i always see youtube videos like this but i simply can’t edit so here we are

you never know - blackpink

okay yeah i didn’t really fw hylt or lovesick girls when i first heard them but when i listened to the album you never know really stuck with me... i never get sick of it. definitely the best track off the album imo. rosé’s prechorus has made me cry a few times ngl

alien - lee suhyun

alright miss thing... i was obsessed with this song when i first heard it... the pre chorus with the ooo ooo ooo and the switch to the chorus is so good it gets me every time. she’s cute i like her... while we’re here i’ll also mention i really liked her ost in your time for it’s okay to not be okay.. i loved that drama and that’s my fav ost from it.. but anyway

lalalilala - april

They Served. Big time. the music video is so pretty and the song was stuck in my head for 6 months straight... they really did the damn thing with this. kinda sounds like an apink song but that’s a compliment... overall this whole comeback was really good and deserved better. honorable mention : the bside on this ep you.zip is so good too

open your eyes - iz*one

this is all i listened to for months after bloomiz dropped... izone’s music is really a hit or miss for me and i didn’t really vibe with fiesta but i’m so glad i gave the album a chance because open your eyes is definitely in my top 5 releases of this year. their other bside dreamlike is really good too

the book of us : the demon - day6 album

now where do i start with this... to this day i am still obsessed with 1 to 10... like that’s gotta be the best off this album imo. zombie was so good and i really liked the lyrics. the album as a whole was really really good. i sound like a broken record

children - bvndit

oh boy... another one of my top 5 releases from this year. not only is the overall sound of this amazing but i love the lyrics too. these girls deserve so much better

d-2 - agust d/yoongi/suga mixtape

my king. i shit myself when this dropped ngl... i don’t even know how to elaborate on how much i love this. daechwita was stuck in my head for the longest time.. i think the highlights off this for me have to be people, honsool & dear my friend. this mixtape was really a moment.. i love yoongi y’all

love again - baekhyun / underwater - baekhyun

alright alright .. i put these two together since they’re from the same album idk but it took a while for candy to grow on me but i’ve loved these since i first heard them... i was Obsessed. the final bridge/chorus whatever the hell thing he does in love again put me into shock for 3 months straight and the beat in underwater is heavenly

the dream chapter : eternity - txt ep

this serve. has to be my favorite from txt yet... rookies with the best discography fr. i love dark concepts and really like that they did something different with this. can’t you see me was Amazinggg. fairy of shampoo has to be one of the best songs i’ve ever heard it’s insane. i also really liked eternally, who else has that range... Nobody. top to bottom this ep is really good, i hope they do another dark concept like this again soon bc this hit big time

eight - iu & suga

it took a while for this to grow on me but whew...when it did... kinda makes me feel like i’m in a coming of age movie and i like that, makes me nostalgic for that. eight soty, they both did great on this

# - loona ep

Now... Cmon. so what was either a hit or miss for a lot of people but something i think everyone can agree on is that the bridge is godsent. like that shit makes me cry sometimes. the music video was really good, i always come back to the subway/train scene. number 1 is also so damn good. overall i really loved this ep. they really ate with this one

eyes wide open - twice album

when i first heard this album i didn’t like it That much but it’s really grown on me lately. the whole retro trend was fun and then it got a little overdone so i was tired of it by the time this dropped but actually.. some of the bsides are insanely good. behind the mask is definitely a highlight for me, mina’s bridge is heavenly. i love mina so bad. but anyway, i can’t stop me took some time to grow on me as well but it always gets stuck in my head. i also really like up no more & depend on you, they’re cute

maybe - gidle

Y’all... i love this song. it’s short and simple but it was so addicting to me. i really like that one part in the last two choruses if you know what i’m talking about (i’m not sure who sings it ? some people say soyeon some say shuhua idk, shuhua my queen btw) and soojin’s verse in the bridge hits. to this day i’m still obsessed with this song

a song written easily - oneus

this is so underappreciated, this is easily one of my favorite title tracks released all year. i’m not a huge fan of beat drops but this one was really nice imo, i also liked the lead in before the drop and the final chorus. this was really good and i never get sick of it

wannabe - itzy

CUT THE DAMN CAMERAS.... no fr this is my #1 favorite song released this year. talented brilliant incredible amazing... itzy seriously ate up everyone with this. i keep going back to this song it’s insane. iconic choreo good mv good styling amazing song.. like everything here lined up. i don’t know how they’ll ever top this for me. definitely my soty (next to psycho)

black swan - bts

this is excellent idk what else to say. i thought it was just okay when i first heard it but it’s seriously so good, me being yoongi biased i loved that he got multiple verses but i love the do your thing with me now breakdown part too. the choreo is one of my favorite from them and the mv was really pretty. black swan is one of my favorite movies so the comparisons with it made me love this song more. overall, probably my favorite off mots7

my time - jungkook of bts

jungkook always has the best album solos fr. i loved this the second i heard it, kinda justin bieber esque but it’s so good. i love the lyrics and transition it takes thru the song. the chorus hits man.. this song always makes me a little sad but he really did amazing on this

monster - red velvet irene & seulgi ep

my queens what can i say. i was so excited for this unit and they did not disappoint. monster still hits, aged like wine. the best track is fr feel good, i still have it on repeat.. insanely good. seulgi really delivered with uncover, it’s so beautiful. i think sm’s intention was always to have a subunit this year but i thought it was smart to do while wendy was recovering, hoping for ot5 soon y’all..

never gonna dance again : act 2 - taemin album

taemin my king wtf!!! i loved criminal so i was really excited for this and of course... he always delivers. top to bottom i loved this album, he really did amazing on it. identity might be the best song i’ve ever heard... and of course i loved the collab with wendy 🙏 overall such a good album, taemin always serves the best

pporappippam - sunmi

what can i say i love a little retro tune. even though i just said earlier i was sick of it idc i loved this. sunmi always shows up, i don’t know what else to say. this song never gets old

dystopia : the tree of language - dreamcatcher album

i didn’t expect to love this album as much as i did... i don’t listen to it as often anymore but i can’t deny that scream was a major serve. every time i hear it it’s like the first time... their bside jazz bar was so good. dreamcatcher’s bsides always hit what can i say

12:00 - loona ep

Yes. why not is not necessarily my favorite title from them ever (it’s butterfly, btw) but it’s always stuck in my head... obviously i loved voice/star, was obsessed for weeks and i was happy they decided to promote it a little. styling on those stages were so cute btw. i also loved fall again from this ep, chuu sounds angelic on it. loona had some amazing cbs this year

la di da - everglow

Obsessed. i watched every stage as they dropped and listened to this every 5 seconds, Amazing. sihyeon really owned this era for me and shes my bias so of course i ate this whole thing up. this was definitely one for the books, what more can i say

literally everything gfriend released this year

this might be their best year yet for releases imo, i really liked how they tried out different concepts and sounds this year, i’ve always loved their music but the switch was refreshing yknow. crossroads was so good, i loved that mv. here we are is still on repeat almost a year later... and now APPLE. apple was so mf good. i love that they decided to do a dark concept, this song really fit them well, still obsessed w it. mago might be my least fave out of the 3 but it’s still so good. don’t even get me started on yuju in the mv.. Queen. i liked the subunits on walpurgis night, especially better me. gfriend had a really good year imo, they deserved more for it.

Anyways. that was my 2 cents.

wannabe & psycho soty

[agape-l0ve]

hello i am back lol

I think the last few times I wrote out a blog was when jj was deployed.  tumblr was a really helpful tool for me at that time because it allowed me to be completely vulnerable without having to burden anyone else!

I was looking back at my old posts and it’s so interesting to read where I was back then and to see the progression of how much life changes in such short bursts of time! So here’s just an update for my future self -- warning, it’s not very exciting hahaha

So, since jj returned in dec 2018, it’s honestly been great! We saw 2019 and 2020 as a time to catch up on all the lost time we had in the previous years.  No more exercises, training, or trips away, life actually went back to normal - which was weird.  I look back and think about how we’ve only been in this lifestyle since 2016, but so much can happen within a span of 4-5 years.  I’ve finally graduated from CFCC’s OTA program, which was honestly such a blessing because our class was able to complete our requirements before COVID got really bad.  Well, I should say most of our class.  As of right now, I think only one more person is finishing up their FW II, which is crazy because these days, I find myself thinking about how I was just finishing up HH and transitioning into peds outpatient in FW II exactly one year ago.  

I’ll talk a bit about my FW II experiences.. since they were not the greatest lol.

Home health was really interesting.  I was honestly DREADING it because 1, I don’t like spending long amounts of time in the car and 2, I hate being in the car with just one other person - especially someone I don’t feel100% comfortable with. Also, I wasn’t too fond of the idea of going to people’s homes either.  I think this placement really stretched me and pushed me out of my comfort zone in every aspect.  Looking back now, I genuinely enjoyed the experience for what it was! Would I voluntarily do it again? It depends! (which is a step up from a solid no) 

Our area covered the extremely rural areas of our surrounding counties and it definitely served as a huge culture shock.  But everyone was so sweet and grateful for any help they could get and I will always remember some of the most awesome patients I got to meet.  The negative effects of this rotation mostly came from my supervisor.  She was an awful human being, but thankfully, she was at least a good OTR.  However, that being said, I saw ZERO treatments! Even when I tried to tell my professor, NO ONE LISTENED OR BELIEVED ME.  It was extremely frustrating because I had all of these assignments to do and all of them were about mf interventions.  Anyways, my OTR was untimely, rude, unapologetic, and lacked empathy out of her ass.  I was so ready to be done with her and thankfully, she didn’t ruin HH as an option for me - just wasted my time with her.  If someone could win an award for the amount of countless hours they could talk about themselves, it would be her.  9 hours every day, non-stop, talking about herself and how great she is and her bf. omfg JUST GET ME OUT OF THE CAR

FW II was supposed to be really exciting for me.  I was done with HH and moving onto what I cared about the most and what I really felt passionate about.  Helping children in clinic! It was honestly my dream.  It was a multi-disciplinary site with SLP, PT, and OT. Everyone seemed nice and it just so happens that my OTR at this placement was a former Marine and he and I had a lot in common paper.  Boy, was I in for it.  He turned out to be an extremely narcissistic man who thought the world of only himself.  He shit talked EVERYONE behind their backs, but was extremely fake to their face.  Him and the front office administrator would gossip every moment they got, like they were 13 year old bullies.  He suffered from several TBIs when he was enlisted, so it’s safe to say that his temperament issues and memory loss were definitely a result of those.  But the worst part is, he refused to admit it.  He would shit talk the boss, the PR manager, the PTs, the clients, and just about everyone in between.  And he brought 100% of his personal life into this, which I get if we’re co-workers, that’s fine.  But as your student, I don’t need to know about that kind of crap.  On top of that, I was his first FW II student... lol of course I was.  So he knew nothing about how to help me, guide me, or teach me. Instead of looking at the informational packed my professor handed to him, he puts that in the closet the entire 9 weeks I’m with him and proceeds to continuously throw me under the bus when it came to doing my assignments and treating patients.  Mind you, I didn’t get to treat anyone in HH, so this is now my first real opportunity to start treating patients throughout the entirety of my program.  Safe to say, I was nervous.  But I pulled through and did my best and I forced myself to become really confident really quickly.  I was awesome at it and I was honestly very proud of the practitioner I was striving to be.  He did help me from time to time and I’d like to believe there were moments where he was genuine and tried his best to help me.  But none of those times outweigh the flustercluck that was that clinic.  Anyways, I came out pretty salty about the whole thing, but I didn’t let it ruin my passion for helping children, as that is what I aspire to do in the future.  I made strides with kids my OTR wasn’t able to connect with for months.  And instead of encouraging me and allowing me to fulfill my duty as a student, he re-books them with another therapist and anyone in healthcare knows how that detrimental that process is to their progression and tells me that he’s just trying to be nice and share his case-load with other people.  No, you’re purposefully taking them away from me because you can’t stand the thought of someone being better than you at something.  His pride and arrogance will forever taint my experience there and I have no intention of going back - which is a true shame because I absolutely fell in love with the kids and some of the other therapists there.  Oh well, good riddance to both my HH OTR and my peds OTR.

Luckily through it all, COVID was just beginning and it only delayed my graduation process a few weeks.  I was extremely fortunate to be one of the first few in my class to finish up and start studying for my NNCOT exam!

Studying for my exam was a time and a half.  I honestly had -0% confidence in myself to pass this test.  I knew it was coming, I knew I had to eventually take it.. but time just snuck up on me so quickly and before I realized, it was my time.  I studied for about 3 months, graduating in June and taking my exam in Sept.  I took a short break immediately following graduation and then read an entire 3,000 page textbook, took over 300 pages of notes, and took practice tests and listened to podcasts/watched youtube videos.  It was a lot of information but it was honestly so rewarding to think about how much knowledge I’ve truly gained from these past few years.  Fast forward, Sept 23, 2020 was the day I took my test and it was great! A lot less structured of a process than they make it sound and I was able to complete my exam in about 2 hours and passed a few weeks later! I got my license and everything was great!

For whatever reason, during this time, I felt in my heart that it was time to get another dog.  This topic kept coming up un-provoked in EVERY single conversation we had with others and it just felt right.  Being home now, I was able to spend every day with Teddy, rather than taking him to daycare.  Because of the uncertainties of COVID at the time, I didn’t feel comfortable taking him in, nor did I want to drive if I didn’t have to.  Teddy became extremely depressed, always sleeping in the closet or between the toilet and wall, which are places he goes only when he’s hurt or sick.  I would try to play with him and take him out, but he had lost all motivation to do anything.  It hurt my heart that I couldn’t give him what he wanted or what he needed.  So, after a lot of thought and research, Chester came into our lives! Teddy’s breeder had JUST had a litter of puppies (on the same day I took my exam!) and I figured it was a good time to raise another puppy, since I have the time and no outstanding commitments right now.  We picked him up in Nov, right before Thanksgiving and jj’s brother was in town to help us.  It was a looooong day, 5 hours there and 5 hours back.  I think we got home around 2am, but since then, my life has just been on hold while I raise Chester.

Teddy was not happy at first.  I could tell he was confused and upset that another dog was here.  But over time, they have become much closer and share experiences that has helped him become a better brother.  Chester is a lot of work lol but he’s brought so much joy to all of us and I love him so much.  He’s currently 5 months, losing all his baby teeth, and getting into everything and Teddy has been enjoying the company (in moderation lol).

In regards to our life, we were really hoping to PCS back home summer of 2020, but it didn’t happen.  It was pretty disappointing because we’ve been on the east coast the whole time we’ve been active duty.  A lot of our friends moved either back to their hometowns or to the west coast and it felt really unjustified that we were stuck here, but even so, we are making the most of it.  We would have had to move through COVID and we wouldn’t have gotten Chester, so those are definitely some benefits of staying put.  Since we’re here for a bit, we’ve decided to purchase a house! Our friends down the street are selling theirs and we figured it’d be a good financial idea to start allocating our rent into a cheaper mortgage.  It has a double yard and it’s a bit newer than our current rental.  So we are hoping to move around June! I’m excited, it’s kind of a fresh new start without having to be too big of a move for now.  

Mentally, I’ve been fluctuating.  I have a lot of self-inflicted guilt from not working at the moment.  And yes, I agreed to get Chester and it’s a full-time job to watch him and not have to crate him all day.  I want him to enjoy his puppyhood and I want to be here with him as well, so I do cherish these moments that I can have with both him and Teddy.  However, I just feel like it’s the right thing to do or it’s what I’m supposed to do. I graduate and then I work! But being here, it’s just not the path for me.  Besides, I keep reminding myself that there are no job openings in my immediate area right now anyways.  So for now, I’m just spending my days with the pups and working on keeping the house clean, which does bring me a lot of joy.  I need to learn to enjoy life and not worry about what I’m not doing.  To help myself, I signed up for transcription services again, so hopefully that’ll bring in some money and take up some time.  I think it’s the need to feel productive and I haven’t had that in a while.  But with COVID, I’m sure that’s a very popular feeling.  

I think that’s about it for now, that’s what’s been going with me the past few years! I can’t wait to read this in 2 years and hopefully, I won’t be in the same place lol

byee