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tommyoboe · 5 years ago

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FINAL YEAR - THE LAST ONE.

And yet, nothing changes. It’s another Sunday afternoon in the flat with Cameron following another stewarding shift this morning, and things are largely the same. Outside is quiet and in here we’re enjoying coffee, bagels and Friends.

Then again, things are different now that term, the year, and in fact, my entire degree has ended. I mean, for one, I finished Game of Thrones today and like many I wasn’t completely satisfied with the ending. I suppose that sums up parts of this year that I haven’t been happy with, but after all of it I’m ready to move on.

Monday began our long week of rehearsals for the end of year Symphony Orchestra concert. Results were not making themselves particularly clear, but our final degree results arrived and there was an instant commotion amongst us final year students. I wasn’t overly surprised with my results in the end, with some lovely comments for the CD quintet and I recorded for my final project, but a more mixed bag for the report that I wrote in support. Once done with some complicated calculations, I found out that I have achieved a 2:1 for my degree overall, which, for what has been a manic year, I’m pleased with. Yeah, perhaps with a bit more work in certain areas I could have received a 1st, but what I have achieved will help me learn for the future, and to that I am grateful.

Having that degree spurred me on Monday evening to do some brainstorming for my upcoming residency as marketing assistant at the Ingenium Academy in Winchester this summer (I’ll be doing a daily blog so stay tuned for that!), and it’s safe to say that although it’s a big leap into a different angle of music making, it’s one that I’m really excited to start properly in a few weeks. Hopefully the sun will be with us again!

Day two of the final push to the finish line saw more mixed moments in Symphony, with reeds not responding as I’d like them to and concentration faltering without my daily dose of divine coffee. However, sitting in on an outstanding dress run of Hobson’s Choice from Birmingham Royal Ballet was quite the treat, really inspiring me to complete some reeds and get back to sounding on form, which I did!

I was grateful on Wednesday and will be grateful this coming week for the chance to practise. Not having to worry too much about fitting lots of notes in was a nice change, and always is this time of year. It made me focus on other things like playing with a suitable tone and really solidifying accuracy and tidiness in tricky passages. Very productive hour indeed.

Thursday saw us make the progress we needed in Symphony, putting a good number of us in better spirits for Friday’s concert. This was easily doubled when seeing Tan from Queer Eye outside Cameron’s work and getting a cute heart cappuccino from the barista himself, giving me the boost I needed for stewarding a masterclass with the Berlin Philharmonic’s solo horn player that evening. It was fun to watch, even if by myself at the back, and drinks after at the nearby pub was equally fun. Good catch ups were had, as well as 75% strength drinks (just the one, actually) and free drinks and crisps all round courtesy of the dynamic horn player. Guilt quickly left us when we assured ourselves the sort of money she was earning...

And then came the last day. A morning off refreshed me for the rest of the day, with the following run-throughs in the afternoon going well, with just the controversial ‘bin piece’ receiving rubbish opinions from some of the more vocal members of the orchestra.

Come the concert, the ‘bin piece’, supposedly a work on climate change that just didn’t convey that, was fine. It certainly was spoken about, if that was perhaps the actual aim of the music, rather like The Rite of Spring. Not that these two are that comparable though. The latter is an absolute masterpiece: the former is literally rubbish.

The rest of the programme delivered in the main, with just a few hiccups in accuracy but overall music played with ambition and style. With the concert also taking the form of a concerto competition final, it has to be said that the winning marimba concerto in particular was just entrancing to be a part of but also to be a spectator on. The soloist ‘lived the music’, and she deserved to win as a result.

Gershwin’s An American in Paris brought the evening’s viewings to a jolly close, with perky moments of cheek, lush solos and big tunes coming together for a great performance.

And then that was it. The last performance at the Conservatoire was done, and four years were done. Just like that. What better way to process all that with friends and colleagues at the bar and at the pub the rest of the evening? Many photos were taken, some more flattering than others, and potential final goodbyes were said to all those going onwards in their lives. It reaffirmed how exciting this point is, where control of everything really comes down to you alone, and the vitality of doing things that are going to make you happy is affirmed. That’s what I take now at the end of my degree, and although the path isn’t completely clear as to what comes next, I know I’m going to continue to make it interesting, in whatever form that may be. Because what is life if not interesting?

Sometimes I ask myself where the thrill of first year has gone, where I would be out every night, and if not staying up until the early hours numerous times. I think the answer is I grew up. I realised, primarily this year, what is important and what my missions are. Right now it’s to become the best oboist I can be, and as much as nights out are fun, they rarely leave me feeling the same elation they did in my younger years. But as a part of life most of us go through, I don’t regret any of those nights. Even the one ending with me acquainting a Celebrations tin.

In my second year I felt a good sense of stability with the friendships I had made, and the relationships that began to blossom, and in third year a hole opened underneath me and all that was shaken, with drifts occurring, leaving me lonely and at my lowest.

However, I overcame this and despite this year not giving way to many parties and big social events, I connected with people that are important to me with a clear mind and genuine desire to make conversation. Of course, I still have my moments of loneliness: you know, for example, it does suck a bit when there’s a full coach of people and you’re the only one not sat next to anyone, but at least now I can handle it and not link it to something I’m doing wrong. Things change around us; people come and go and that is life. Unpredictable.

There are so many more things that I am grateful for from my time at Conservatoire though. I may have had a tough year of auditions, but I got the chance to travel to wonderful places like Amsterdam, Berlin, Geneva and Cologne and I had the opportunity to play to people and see things I hadn’t seen before. I had the opportunity of doing auditions and gaining practice for the real world. I had teachers that had faith in me and were genuinely surprised at my non-successes. I became a more confident player and person in college and didn’t let bad days get me down. Now my first thought would be what next?

I’ve had more opportunities to learn from members of the CBSO and was even offered a concert with the orchestra. Although I unfortunately had to turn it down (damn, that was hard), that was one of the first steps to achieving something big.

And big is where I will continue to aim, ever striving for more and better. Having the chance of four years in a quintet as good as mine has been a privilege; we’ve been able to do some great things and forge great relationships. It really will be sad to see them all go on to different things, but one day I will make it my aim to play with them again. Four phenomenal musicians, and I was lucky enough to be the fifth member of that group.

Constants are always going to be my close friends, family and Cameron. They are the ones I cherish the most and will always come back to, picking things up right where we left off every time. They inspire me and move me forward in what I am doing. I can only hope they remain with me for many years to come.

Ultimately, my time at Conservatoire has been a success because I’m happy. I’m happy that the people around me are doing what they want to do and I’m happy to be doing the same.

As for the future of this blog, I’m uncertain, but be assured, there will be good stories to tell. Sure, it might not be leaving a cor anglais on a bus or forgetting my oboe for my first Conservatoire lesson, but whatever happens, I’m looking forward to it.

Cheers to that, everyone. Now let’s go do life.

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