#lilac's silver springs chronicals
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I don't have any desire whatsoever to be in a relationship right now, so how come finding out the guy who I was half in love with for half of college just got married messed me up so much?????
#lilac rambles#is it probably because i never seem to attract the guys im actually super interested in? and that they always seem to go for the girls who#seem very sweet and awesome and who i would love to befriend but who are definitely nothing like me as far as looks go?#so there's even more confirmation that they never would have been attracted to me at all?#quite possibly#yeah.#it's probably that#idk. sometimes i get tired of being the funny friendly one#maybe i dont want you to have me just think of me as a friend#maybe i want you to think im pretty#is that such a crime?#lilac's silver springs chronicals
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I need to tell this to someone who can possibly share the pain, but today in church my parents were talking to an older gentleman, and he was saying how he had participated in a retreat this weekend and that there was a wonderful young lady that was leading it that I should try asking her out. Said young woman was actually a high school friend that I did try dating at the time.
Noooooooooo oh my gosh that's so painful I'm so sorry! Oh man, that's incredibly sucky. God bless sweet old people with the best of intentions, they know not what consequences will come from their actions. Let's blast some Silver Springs TONIGHT
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#not that it matters but i don't think silver springs guy actually got married?????#we have five million mutual friends and none of them posted ANYTHING about the wedding and like. these people post whenever they go anywher#every other wedding they've gone to they've posted about#and maybe this is very chronically online of me but none of them even posted congratulations on facebook???? the number one place people#post about weddings??????#and this is not in an 'ohmygosh maybe i still have a CHANCE' stupid way#i wouldn't get together with this guy if he BEGGED me-not that he would lololol#but i *was* looking forward to the closure of seeing him happily married#and now maybe he isn't#i hope for his sake it worked out and they're happy and that when we see each other again some day that there's no pain for either of us#but yeah it's weird#i was sorta expecting to see all these pictures roll in over social media#and then...nada#lilac's silver springs chronicles
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