#like........idk i spent my teens intensely lonely. i'm bipolar and it was Very bad then and

[scare-ard--sleigh]

here's the thing, here's the real thing, like obviously i do not condone what croccyboy did in alabasta. but i do think it is worth saying, that loneliness -- and i'm not talking about incel 'no one wants to fuck me' loneliness, i'm talking about like real, bone-deep, not sharing a meal with someone in years loneliness -- can fuck the human psyche up in incredible ways as yet unstudied by humans. i think he's a solipsist by necessity, because rain dinners was his entire world (what even existed beyond that world in his mind?) i think it can make you so crazy and it's insidious. you don't even realize how crazy it's made you until you talk to someone who's more adjusted; all he's doing is seeing the world's problems and wanting to solve them on his own : | and i have a really hard time being mad at him for that??? it's like henry winter, like.....no, these things were not good, they were not right, but knowing he got 3 hours of sleep a night???? shit made a LOT more sense .