#like. i identified as a 'tomboy' until i was. fuckin. 14.

[ghostzzy]

idk since i made that post earlier i've just been thinking about all the ways adults were weird and shitty to me because i was gender-nonconforming as a kid. because i MIGHT grow up to be a lesbian or, worse, transgender. and how much it sucked to figure out my identity under those conditions -- where every adult i'd ever met had already figured out What I Was and hated me for it, and i had no idea. idk it's just sad. i'm sorry baby izzy went through that.

[waddlesweetdee]

44 on the ask meme

free space! answer anythinghm i will just take a moment to reflect on my gender journey and plans for the future. this is a long fuckin post so grab some tea or smthiwas a "tomboy" as a little kid (around 8 or so) but due to some pretty severe bullying i ended up going hyper feminine to try to avoid that, which felt awkward but "okay" for a while. when i was about 14/15 i came out as pansexual. soon after istarted to identify as genderfluid/nonbinary after being exposed to these identities online and in my high school's gay/straight alliance. i came out as nonbinary partway through my sophomore year of high school (i was 15 or so) to my parents and close friends, and got my first binder handed down from another trans person at school, then my first short haircut. i started using they/them pronouns, later switching to they/he, iding as a demiguy, and going by charlie. the summer before my junior year i emailed my teachers asking them to use my name and pronouns, which was met w some mixed responses (name was fine, pronouns were more of the issue). junior yr i came out again as a trans guy and starting going exclusively by he/him, and by my senior yr almost everybody in school would call me my name and pronouns. that was the same year title ix went into effect, but i had clearance with the school since junior year to use the nurse's bathroom to change for phys ed and to pee. so my senior year if i wanted to i could've used the boy's bathroom (i bought my stp that year) but i was on my way out of school anyway and didn't bother. i started college being out and went on t for a month during december, but lost my insurance and had to go off it suddenly until may (which felt horrible and was some of my most intense dysphoria ever). i restarted on may 3 2017, and will be at 10 (total) months on feb 3. in november i booked a top surgery consultation which will be on march 6, and hopefully i will have surgery in the spring c:going forward i would like to be stealth in my professional life (i told one person at my internship) but will probably only feel comfortable disclosing being trans irl if im comfortable with it, because i now pass and don't need to assert my gender like that anymore.