#like. It's been so long since I've made a Proper Comic (w/ the correct formatting and attention to layout and composition n stuff)
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mm. Fear
#ramblings of a lunatic#got pointed towards a freelance job opportunity by a friend (thanks bestie ily 🤟) and hit up the asker w an email abt further discussion#since the og email was kind of vague (its a comic project! idk abt what but it is one! idk when/if there's a deadline! but it's a comic!)#and that meetings been arranged and thats all peachy keen#and if i get the job i get it and if i don't i dont#(they liked my samples despite them being old work so i definitely have that part down- now it's just seeing if the schedules align)#but as i was sitting down writing important questions I'd need to ask when we meet i was hit with a wave of. fear#and guilt?#like. It's been so long since I've made a Proper Comic (w/ the correct formatting and attention to layout and composition n stuff)#that I'm scared I'll like. forget how to comic and fuck it up. and disappoint this stranger I don't know#...and myself but that's besides the point#idk i think it's just jitters (also bc i had a bad ipad drawing day the device was NOT agreeing with me. paper was ok tho)#and I don't even have the job yet 😭 idk why I'm so nervous#maybe bc I've never had a paid illustration gig and i feel like such a fraud bc I'm a solid 6/10 self taught artist#i feel like rob liefeld bamboozling marvel into hiring him in the 90s and then Rob Liefeld-ing all over the place#(I don't think he actually bamboozled anyone. that's just how I feel rn)#in conclusion i think being on my period has not helped my feelings of mild trepidation and has in fact made me think dark thoughts#so I'm going to try and claim some semblance of rest now
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