#like yeah there's relief maybe? but also just confusion and annoyance abt my past blindness
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goddamnit. am i actually having a sexuality epiphany because i'm recognizing myself in a fictional cringefail vampire man. you gotta be kidding me
#in my defense being both on the ace spectrum AND hypersexual is a bit of a confusing thing to experience#maybe i'll feel different abt it later but for rn i think that explains a LOT#for real this explains why i don't care about sex 90% of the time but when i do it's like going 0 to 100 in .2 seconds#oh my god. oh my fucking god i used to think gray asexuality was silly bc 'everyone feels that way' oh my GOD i'm a fucking idiot#head in hands bro. cannot believe i was that fucking stupid as a teenager. i was THAT CLOSE to getting it 😮💨#i should talk to my therapist abt this... i haven't talked to anyone abt my hypersexuality ever bc its such a stigmatized symptom but damn#i'm not gonna blame my bipolar for this or anything but damn did it make this possible answer SO much more obscured in my mind#like... damn. i feel so flabbergasted by this#i keep saying damn in the tags. dude this revelation has rendered me without the proper words to convey my emotions.........#i'm gonna be fine but rn i feel all kinds of off kilter from this realization. and i'm still doubting it even so! but it would make SO much#sense!!!!!! ugh i haven't questioned any aspect of my sexuality in earnest in years i genuinely forgot how much it sucks#like yeah there's relief maybe? but also just confusion and annoyance abt my past blindness#god. this is a huge tag ramble i think i'm gonna stop talking now#len speaks
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