#like yeah I wouldn't do too well in a public school setting either bc my mental health would've been the same
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I think my therapist expects me to work on this dbt stuff alone? On my own time? Which is not gonna work out very well, she def can't expect me to get anywhere with it then lol
#she diagnosed me with depression but I don't think she realizes how that actually affects my energy/motivation#it's a miracle I finished high school and I technically didn't really finish#there's a few holes... like I basically didn't do 10th grade history or english lol but I passed all the other grades#I don't actually know what my grades are though bc my mom never graded the open-response questions on anything#the computer graded all the rest though and I'm sure I passed regardless... just would be nice to know#this is why I think homeschooling wasn't helpful for me though#like yeah I wouldn't do too well in a public school setting either bc my mental health would've been the same#but having no structure and everything depend on my own motivation was just terrible#my mom is depressed too so she wasn't involved and didn't do anything to make it easier on me#I had mental breakdowns nearly every day school made me want to kill myself sometimes#I just get so overwhelmed and I can't focus on it but it's like all that matters in the moment#I honestly don't know if I could handle college and that's why I don't even want to think about it#I feel like everything will stay the same bc I'm so complacent and I have no purpose in life#don't see the point in trying
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