#like y'all see me putting energy into things i dislike/hate?

[dootznbootz]

Can I ask why you hate OdyDio? I’m not super familiar with Greek mythology yet, and I’ve seen OdyDio as fairly popular so I’m curious about the other side lol (I personally don’t ship it just because I can’t imagine Odysseus with anyone other than Penelope tbh).

Because people are literally mischaracterizing both Odysseus and Diomedes to make it work and it spits in the face of what Homophrosyne means 🙃

And people are nuts about it in a way that pisses me off more than any other NOTP/crackship I've had before.

I guess this post, This one, and This one that people have done about vague fandom is a good explanation if that's all you want as I do rant here lol. NGL, I don't...really care if I'm being mean right now. Like block, unfollow, or ignore me. I wanna rant.

Btw, yeah, I'm being a "hater" but I'll tag right so you can block "#anti odydio" if you must.

I already didn't care for it in the first place, (I've vented about it before) as I agree, OdyPen are literally soulmates. To the point where they have their own WORD for their love. And yet people will fucking insist that "Oh, Odysseus and Diomedes are more compatible". WHERE?

The Odyssey is literally about him trying to go back home to Penelope and their son. And even in the Iliad, Odysseus mentions her. The Odyssey only mentions Diomedes three times and never once by Odysseus (once by Nestor, twice by Menelaus) so... that goes to show how Odysseus feels about him. 🤷

I was just neutral about the ship existing because it's like one of those absurd crackships to me but with how popular, fanonized, and just...With HOW people have behaved about it to me ;~;

Ofc, I'm a huge Penelope fan but even with Diomedes, you can't go into his tag without OdyDio. I'm not even joking. I'm sad I've had to block Diomedes' tag as well because people don't tag right AND don't apparently see him as more than Odysseus' "fling" ;~; (I mean at least Penelope and Diomedes can relate to the fact that it sucks that a lot of people are only caring about them because of Odysseus and not because of who they are. :/ )

Even with OdyPenDio. I've noticed that it mostly means OdyDio (+ Pen in the footnotes) :/

Just in general, with my own reading of the Iliad, I...WHERE?! xD Where is the "ship"? They are comrades and they're very different from one another personality wise. Sure, they're a good team in combat but in life??? They are not "likeminded" at ALL.

They also have a fairly large agegap, Odysseus being one of the older kings while Diomedes is one of the youngest. I have them around a decade apart in my writing If you bring up pederasty, you will be smited. You're fucking disgusting. They also have very little in common other than them both being Athena's pets (which um. Penelope is one too, you know?). Odysseus is a fucked up lil warrior trickster who loves his wife and child more than life itself while Diomedes is a young child soldier boy who is incredibly duty bound and war is where he feels most comfortable.

Diomedes would not put up with Odysseus' rambling about his family and Odysseus WANTS to talk about that. They're like co-workers.

Diomedes is a younger king who looks up to all these older and more experienced kings. "Notice me, senpai" energy, and I love it!

That's just the Canon texts itself as to why I just simply disliked it. The fandom was... yeah ;~; made me hate that it even exists. (Not all! Some of y'all are incredibly kind and respectful of boundaries and I appreciate that! It's just that...Some were not.)

I mean I've had to deal with Aphobia surrounding my OdyPen and along with some asks/people in the past who were TRYING to make me write about OdyDio despite the fact that I've never liked it. "Hey, I know you don't like this thing, but maybe THIS will change your mind. You have fun ideas so I wanna see what you do with OdyDio!"

Do you know how shitty that feels? 😞 To have people, WHO KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE SOMETHING, try to make you like it? By sending you links and "headcanons" that will "still work in your writing?" Sending in your asks, DMING YOU SOMETIMES.

That was like, a year ago and thankfully it's stopped for the most part but I was in such a funk that I didn't even wanna write ANYTHING for a while.

Funny enough? I USED to have this "Oh, Odysseus and Diomedes are exes who fucking hate each other." idea where I aged up Diomedes to make it work, which I now no longer have because I realized I only wrote that way because I thought I HAD to in order to get people to be nice to me. ;~; Because if they're romantic at some point but simply don't click, maybe that'll be enough. To get people to just shut up and stop sending me things. (fuck the anon who sent smut last December. you suck.)

I changed that (now it's Greater Ajax who's his ex. lol. idk ask about it if you want.) because I realized yeah, it was making me unhappy and because I felt like I HAD to. ;~;

I also think it's weirdly because some Odysseus fans almost block out the Odyssey, you know, HIS story, and pretend like he didn't do everything to get home to his loved ones.

I've seen some ridiculous shit about Penelope as well. >:( like holy shit, misogyny everywhere.

"Oh, she didn't trust him and made him cry when she tricked him. She's abusive!" Literally one of the most stupid things I've ever fucking heard. She HAD to be sure it was him and when she knows for sure, she apologizes, explains, and kisses him. Kisses that he desperately and happily returns btw.

"After all Odysseus goes through from the Goddesses, he's afraid of women so he and Penelope separate." ...WHAT?! He literally wants to "embrace in love in their bed" as soon as they stop crying! And she holds him back only to know Tiresias' prophecy, which he DOES TELL HER BTW, before they DO "show love".

"Penelope becomes Odysseus' and Diomedes' surrogate!" ...Wow. Just wow. Love how people will talk about how ancient men in the past only saw women as "breeders" as though they're any fucking different with THIS fucking take.

It's annoying that I'll post a headcanon on tumblr and then the tags are "This but with OdyDio." or that people will often only like/reblog my ODYSSEUS shit and not my Penelope. ;~;

I love how people will be adamant about how "Odysseus never cheated" (true), and yet have him with Diomedes :/ Like at LEAST have OdyPen agree to have an open marriage before they're separated if you're going to pull that stance. (also give Penelope a girlfriend if Odysseus gets a boyfriend, you cowards)

So many people for some reason only see Penelope for what she is for her husband and that's all. As though that's all she is. And as if Odysseus isn't as intertwined with her as she is with him.

I just... stdrfgyh ;~; I wouldn't hate it so much if people were nice about someone not liking it but the fact that I literally cannot escape it and because some people were just so pushy, I just negative memories I guess.

Either way, I love Diomedes and Sthenelus together :) whether as a QPR or romantic or whatever, those two are like bonded pairs that cannot be adopted separately.

[watatsumiis]

Valentine's day mutual ships (part 1)

First of all, happy Valentine's day, y'all, though if you don't celebrate it I hope you have a good day regardless <3

Here is part 1 of assigning my mutuals ships! You're absolutely free to reblog it, screenshot it, save it, do whatever you like! I just hope I gave you all characters that you don't totally despise! I tried to keep it mostly neutral so it can be read as platonic or romantic!

@puppy-boy-inc 

Honestly, I think I’d pair you with Pantalone! I could see y’all spending the day together at one of his fancy private estates and eating fancy chocolate-dipped fruit or something like that. I dunno why, I just think Pantalone would mesh well with your silly puppy energy maybe he’d teach you to be a little less of a bully /j I’m sure he’d also spoil you rotten with gifts and sweet things, and would absolutely dote on you no matter what you did for him in return! 

@uplatterme

I’ve gotta pick Aether, I don’t think it could be anyone else. I know that’s totally the obvious choice but I think you two would get along so well. I could see you two doing something almost painfully cheesy like going to a botanical garden or a couple’s pottery making class, then going home and you’ve both set up surprises for one another, it would be one of those painfully sweet interactions because neither one of you realised the other had done something for you, so it’s all cute shocked faces and big cheesy grins all around!

@genshin-projection

There’s something about your vibe that makes me feel like you and Sucrose or Albedo would get along extraordinarily well! I could see all three of you going to a zoo or doing research or experiments together, you’d bring along a packed lunch and sit somewhere quiet and just talk about your interests together! It would be a super chill, laid back sort of hangout. Though, I could also see you getting along with Xinyan, since you both seem to have a love of music! You two could go to a concert or just hang out and talk about all your favourite artists and instruments and stuff! :D 

@that-foul-legacy-lover

Listen, I thought about it for a while, I truly did. I considered pairing you with Zhongli or Morax, then with Capitano, but in my heart you’re a Foul Legacy lover and it feels cruel to pull you two apart. I could imagine you two trying to make sugar cookies together but they come out a total mess because FL just wants to help but he’s far too big and clumsy in the kitchen, so all the measurements get messed up and there’s icing and flour and crumbs everywhere, somehow there’s egg shells on the wall, but you two had fun and that’s what matters! I could see you both going for a quiet evening walk together, maybe along the coast, watching the seabirds go by and maybe collecting seashells if you come across a beach together!

@zhongrin 

Listen. I know you’re married to Zhongli, I respect that, you're adorable together, but I hope you don’t mind if I shake it up a little - I could see you and Capitano pairing together really nicely! You guys would bake sweets for all your friends and have one of those food fights like out of a hallmark movie where you flick flour on each other and it’s just heart meltingly sweet and adorable and the food comes out brilliantly. He’d also love to take you out to one of his favourite secluded spots, a nice little pond he discovered while on a walk, and you two could feed the ducks together! You’d give cavities to anyone who dares even look at you both, honestly. 

I'm still working on the others at the moment, so if you commented on the original post or reached out to me, don't worry, I've got a list, I haven't forgotten you, I'm just sectioning it off at the moment :D Though if you happen to have any preferences on character gender or anything like that please shoot me a DM! I'd hate to accidentally put someone with a character or ship dynamic they dislike/are uncomfy with.

[simptasia]

🔥 torchwood, lost & detroit become human??

torchwood: i don’t think its that bad. the way the bi rep was handled is kinda wonky because… 2006 but like, overall its a good show. series 2 especially

also i love gwen. i dunno how much gwen hate still exists now but yeah

lost: 

the finale was great, fantastic, beautiful, A+++

the characters matter more than the ~mysteries~

i like/love jack, kate, ana lucia, michael, charlotte, shannon (heck, insert any female character name here because they’ve all gotten ragged on)

jacob is a bad person

i don’t think kate & sawyer work as romantic partners, i just like them as friends. i approve of several ships in the love square but thats one i’m ehhh about, and i know its very popular

i like sayid/shannon. nay, i love sayid/shannon

but overall im happy the modern lost fandom is fulla queer feminists because from what i’ve seen, the old lost fandom (2004 to 2010) was… not as pleasant

detroit become human

oh gosh this is gonna be bad (i have friends who hate this game)

i wanna make it clear ahead of time that i absolutely am aware of the flaws in this game and i’ve even spent a lot of time discussing them with my friends.nobody can diss dbh better than a dbh fan, believe me. i can be aware of something’s flaws and still like something (anybody whose followed me for lost knows i’ve dissed the flaws in lost loads of times. i still love it!) 

also the dude who wrote/directed this game is an asshole, an idiot, a sexist and a bunch of other bad things. thats not an unpopular opinion, i just wanted you guys to know that i know this. when i praise dbh, i’m not praising him

long story short, i like the creation not the creator

i went on a bit so its under here

despite who made it: it’s a good game, brent

i think despite its flaws, there’s more good things than bad things

allegory isn’t inherently racist. note my emphasis

“heavy handed”, “on the nose” and “not subtle” aren’t bad things? i see it get used as insults a lot but to me i got no bother. not subtle doesn’t mean bad. bear in mind that i’ve grown up a star trek and x-men fan so yeah

i don’t wanna say the word overrated because i don’t believe in that. i just find it interesting how certain characters are getting a lot of attention (e.g gavin, nines) whilst other characters are ignored or reviled. thats not me saying the characters whom are popular in fandom should be ignored, thats me saying i’d like more focus on other characters i like too e.g markus, kara, kamski, the jerries, north, josh, rose & adam and a bunch more. i just really like all the androids and some humans okay

like, its pretty obvious why simon (white man) is being adored whilst josh (black) and north (woman) are being ignored and despised respectively, right? and thats not me hating on simon or saying less simon. i like simon! (or like, what can be done with him bcuz canon simon has no depth)

i just happen to like josh and north! which deserves its own bullet point

not only do i like north, i love north and she’s one of my fave characters!

i do not agree with the often used phrase “hank and connor are the only worthwhile part of this game”, in fact, i hate it. sure, the best part of the game, go ahead. but the only worthwhile part? fuck you, because

i like markus and kara and their stories! whilst most my problems with this game are in markus’ story (just trust me on that), overall i still like it. and kara? heck theres not a single kara chapter i don’t like. and on that note:

i don’t consider kara’s story to be useless. yeah she’s not part the revolution plot but thats not bad. i think it provides a balance. think of it like this: markus represents The Leader, the liberator, the messiah. he is fighting for his people. and he comes from a privileged background. connor is representing The Man, The System, depending on how you play him he is rebelling against The System or is a part of it. now what does kara represent? The People. her and the other androids she encounters represent the average android in this world. markus and connor can’t do that so i feel its important we see her. we’re seeing what markus (and maybe connor) are fighting for. and i think thats really important

and besides all that, i just plain like it okay

i like markus/north, i think they make a good couple (moreso in my head than in the game but i still think they’re sweet in the game)

the concept that pacifist markus and north don’t “make sense together” is stupid because ur assuming north is bloodthirsty and has no room for growth. and that all couples need to agree with each other. also north for violent markus and simon for pacifist markus also makes no sense to me becuz 1. people aren’t rewards, 2. ur confusing simon with josh. again. and 3. violent!markus and north would just be enabling each other. if north is to be with any markus, it should be pacifist markus because they’d be good for each other. also all three of them being options woulda been nice but that’s not an unpopular opinion anyways so moving on

the awkwardness felt about markus/north coulda totally been fixed by literally just one change. take the “lover” indicator and move it until after their first kiss. that way the timing is far less jarring and because the player can choose the kiss or not, the “lover” thing feels more like “yay i made their relationship grow” and less “oh whoa that was sudden”. if that was moved and nothing else changed, markus/north would’ve been way more loved. but alas, markus’ relationship scanner is just damn awkward

markus, my markus, is a verse and a kind, socially inept boy (i like how with the jericho four, north is a rowdy girl whilst the other three are various kinds of soft boys in their own way. i think thats cute and neat)

connor is not an innocent niave dumb bimbo (save that for the bedroom) and i wanna remind ppl that he’s an expert on psychology

the humans killed by daniel, ralph, echo (blue traci), shaolin (HK400) and north all deserved it

north, josh and simon would not all hate each other, fuck you. these people are meant to be friends, remember? (also jericho OT4, y’all!!!)

the facial expression on simon’s face after markus and north kiss at the end is gentle approval. he looks happy, some ppl are just projecting

i don’t mind that alice is an android

the way some markus/simon shippers talk about north is downright sexist and i think most north hate is caused by sexism & rape apologism

(i’m a live and let live kinda person about ships and also i’ve very into multishipping so some y’alls behaviour is perplexing to me)

there is nothing inherently morally wrong with shipping hank/connor. connor is capable of consent and age differences aren’t inherently bad. and the only reason this ship is controversial is because hank looks old and he’s not conventionally attractive. nobody would care otherwise

kamski isn’t evil, he’s morally ambiguous / chaotic neutral

i, uh, like kamski/chloe. its interesting (i’ve embraced that it’s fucked up) and i like the idea that chloe actually does love him. its kinda tragic?

a bunch of that was more about the fandom than the game but whatever. and as usual when i make a list, theres probs more but like, thats what comes to mind

yeah there was room for improvement on this game but overall i think its great and i like the characters, more than that i like what can be done with the characters. like, its a nice place to build from. and like, the people who are all like “if ur a fan of detroit become human, ur a bad person” can just fuck off

thats not how… anything… works

and besides its a piece of android media, done in a story based game, that has android babes and is fulla allegory and it’s something i can analyse to death (and as a bonus, the graphics/rendering/mocap/texturing are PHENOMENAL)

of course this is something i would like and i won’t apologise for that

[hotcat37]

Things abt Trailer park boys I dislike. Disclaimer that it's completely okay to disagree with these takes! I'll make a counterpost to this as well with things I like abt the show

-Susan being outright abusive to Ricky and no one stepping in or mentioning it. They could've written something meaningful abt Ricky's need for a partner in his life and that blinding him to toxic relationships but instead it's just played for laughs

-the lack of T screentime 💔

-Bubbles never getting a love interest (to clarify I don't think any character needs a love interest, but it seems unfair that Ricky and Julian have multiple romances and Bubbles is the only one in the trio who doesn't. I personally see Bubbles as prioritizing his friendships much more over romance but it's very specific that he's the only one who has absolutely zero chicks interested in him)

-the artstyle of the animated series I'm sorry like it's not ugly but it's just so bland and uninteresting. I would've loved to see an Ed Edd n Eddy type artstyle or just something more stylized and dynamic

-Julian being continuously sexually harassed and it being, predictably, played for laughs. Like in the early seasons Sexian jokes and Lahey being like "you sexy shitbird....." are really funny but then it just becomes fucked up. Like the scene (can't remember which season) where Lahey forces Julian to let him kiss him on the lips so he'll sign the contract for the park made my skin crawl (he doesn't actually end up kissing him but it was super fcked up that Julian looked massively uncomfortable and no one showed him any sympathy)

-Jacob's character became super bland and was dumbed down so much in the Netflix seasons. He was such an interesting character to me in season 7 because we saw him have an actually fleshed out personality and his admiration for Julian was super cute. We don't see any of that post season 7 and it's just so frustrating because I rlly felt like he was a good addition to the cast

-on the topic of Jacob his relationship with Trinity came out of nowhere. Not to mention the weird age gap between them no one in the show seems to be bothered by.

-the awful celebrity cameos 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ They added absolutely nothing valuable or funny to the show

-the main trio getting treated like absolute garbage by the Swearnet crew during the Out Of The Park series. They're constantly put in uncomfortable situations for laughs, are starving and dehydrated half of the time and absolutely none of their efforts ever pay off. It was funny at first but then at some point it just became "watch these men get tortured by an evil company with no consequences for 10 episodes straight" and just,,nah. I can't even say I blame the boys for acting out of character and acting like dicks

-Donna's entire character....yikes 😬 I think the only way a trans character in Trailer Park Boys would work is if it was just mentioned and no one rlly cares abt it (like Randy and Lahey coming out as gay during that one episode. Everybody already knows and knows abt their sex shenanigans but they don't give a shit because they hate them anyways lmao)

-Julian's characterization specifically in the Netflix series. Like y'all know I fcking love Julian but I hate how extremely selfish and greedy he becomes. In the Out Of The Park series he never wants to try anything, while Season 1-7 Julian would absolutely sing karaoke with the boys if it means getting paid. He's done much much worse things for money than just singing Stayin' Alive lmfao. And there's also a moment in the later seasons where Sarah asks to stay in Julian's trailer (I can't really remember why?) and she literally asked to stay I think for like a night or two and he was immediately like "no👺👺" until she said she'd compensate him with something.

Like my man, she's asking to sleep on ur couch for 2 days max what is the issue here 🤦‍♀️ I know Sarah can be a bitch to him sometimes but he gives her the same energy and they've known each other for decades.

-the boys generally just becoming worse people as the show progresses. They've never been even close to Saints but they were regretful of their actions and did what they could to make up for their wrongdoings. Nowadays they do progressively terrible things, apologize, but then do the exact same thing again the next episode.

That's what I can think of rn but lemme know what u guys don't like much abt the show I'm curious

[vicxy]

Pick A Pile Reading: Choose a Villainess 🥀🃏

Hello everyone, I decided to come up with this PAC for you guys to read as I go through all your asks. I’m really sorry for not being able to release it sooner, and thank you to those who are supportive. As you can probably guess from the title, the topic of this PAC is: What kind of villain would you be? I hope this will be to everyone’s liking, please leave some feedback so I can improve! This is meant to be a lighthearted (?) PAC for entertainment purposes, so don’t take it too seriously :) Please keep in mind this is a general reading so some might not resonate. I will also add a small part with things I think you need to hear.

“A hero will sacrifice you for the world, but the villain will sacrifice the world for you.”

Choose the pile(s) you are drawn to. Happy reading!

☾ Pile one: The Enchantress

I see a yellow gemstone for this pile, some of you might resonate with that? Maybe Opal? 7, 9 or 20 might be important numbers for you. Virgo, Pluto, Fire, Aquarius, and Moon energy here. Quite a lot of sword energy too. Capricorn, strong Jupiter, Libra, and Air dominants here too. I see that as villains, some of you could be quite scheming, not really in a bad way though. Wise beyond your years, you have a lot of foresight, and are probably the types to plan a coup or be the mastermind behind things. Maybe Junko from Danganronpa but with less of the crazy. The ones who are desperate for knowledge, but might have went about it in the wrong way. As a villain you might not show yourself much. I got “cartographer?” You might be sensitive to criticism, and hate it when you are questioned by your minions. The second type of villain I see from this pile is the sneaky type? Not the mastermind of the “main” villain, probably the one who betrayed the heroes’ side for the villains’. It might be because you didn’t feel included or like you were part of the heroes’ side. As a villain, you could be good at gathering information and using manipulation in order to achieve your goals. A spy, perhaps an assassin. Lowkey gives me Sasori (Naruto) vibes. The last type of villain I see here are the types who can get too hung up on things. Unable to let go, they let their past mistakes consume them and they turn evil, possibly to run away or to avoid something, possibly their past situations. Self conscious and unable to face their true self. In the past, the people in this pile could have had bad habits limiting their personal growth. Right now, some of you could be quite stressed. You should take a break and pamper yourself; impulsive as it may seem, it would be the best for you in the long run. The future is promising for this pile but roadblocks or conflicts right now need to be removed / resolved in order for you to advance. Good luck!

☾ Pile Two: Harley Quinn

Leo, strong Mars and Air, Pisces, Cancer, Libra, Moon, Mercury. The first type of villain I see here is the stubborn type. The ones who fight doggedly until the end even when they know they’re wrong.Quite impulsive, you could start fights easily and that could get you into trouble. Enemies are made easily. Some of you could be passive, or too defensive. On the other hand you could also be the type to give up easily, but mostly I see stubbornness. The second type of villain I see here is one of my favourites. If I could put it in one word, it would be smooth. Jesper from Shadow and Bone vibes. Intelligent, social, charming. Probably the type of villain to have their eyes everywhere, you know what is going on at all times. Also the type of villain to have a glib tongue, easily talking your way out of things / trouble. May be particularly interested in puzzles, mysteries, and mind games. Good at strategy. The third and last type of villain I see here is the type that can be perfectionists. Probably not villains by choice, these people are very avoidant. You probably dislike conflict, and try to avoid them, which can cause even more problems for you. Maybe the type to lie about something and lie more and more as to cover the lie. Eventually it snowballs. You could be idealistic as well, so you try to create a “perfect” world. Which is to say, your ideal one. In the past, a lot of you might have been unsure of where to go or what to do, but you could’ve been enlightened by something or someone recently and now know what to do. Trust yourself. Right now, I think that some of you could just have gone through something important or great in general. The efforts you’ve been putting in will pay off, so hang in there. In the future, some of you could be leaving from toxic relationships. You will also be more decisive, and in control of your life. 5, 6, 7 and 10 could be important numbers for some of you.

☾ Pile Three: Cruella

Lowkey weird but I saw the anemo symbol for this pile so maybe some of y'all play genshin impact? (pls if y'all do dm me I'm ar 55 with nothing to do) Strong Taurus and Mercury here, Cancer, Gemini, Leo, Virgo, Jupiter, Saturn. The first type of villain I see here is the one who was always known as the outsider. Down on their luck and probably weren't the types to get opportunities from others. There is something lacking in these people's lives, yet they don't know what it is. Reliant on others. These are the types of villains who victimize themselves and make you pity them, but stab you in the back right after with no sympathy whatsoever. The second type of villain I see here is somebody with very low self esteem. They might not have a sense of self direction and let themselves get used by other villains? Probably afraid of failure and disappointing others. On the other hand, this villain could also be opinionated and arrogant. Especially reckless, they are mostly bark with no bite. The type to give you threats but gets defeated in an instant 💀 They could also be the type to want recognition, maybe even obsessed with success. That will be their downfall. The last type of villain I see in this pile is the dramatic type of villain. The ones who make a mountain out of a molehill. Probably the ones who try to take things too far, or like putting on a big show with their abilities. They could also be the whiny type, the ones who get mad when they don't get what they want. Unresolved anger issues too. Lastly, they could be the villains who had gone through some kind of transformative experience in their life to make them this way. In the past, you could have felt very "stuck" and bored with your own life. You could also have lessened interactions in your social life due to responsibilities. Try letting loose sometimes. You could have also neglected some serious issues which you needed to face. For some of you who have been struggling or anything like that, rest assured that things will blow over soon. Hang in there, and remain grounded. For those of you who have put effort into something, I see that the rewards you get might not be up to your expectations. At least now you know what is worth you investing your time in; sit back and reevaluate your situation.

OKAY I'm finally done, it's almost 1am and I'm gonna catch some sleep. I really really hope this was alright, good day everyone! Please leave feedback so I can improve, I have a feeling this one is quite bad lmao. 💖 thank you for all the support thus far!

[tendertokyo]

My take on NCT at Hogwarts

what is it with me and being active on this god forsaken app all of a sudden... anyways, i know that we've thrown jk rowling in the garbage but listen i can't just throw away my whole childhood for one stupid rich white cis woman. also i have no idea what's going on with the neos but when do i ever? alright here we go

taeil: he's giving me frustrated hufflepuff, like he really wished to be in gryffindoor but it didn't work out. think he'd be a halfblood and have a pet toad. likes to visit hagrid for tea sometimes. simps over some bad bitch in slytherin, really thinks she's into him too, everyone tells him she's way out of his league. broke his wand twice already trying to open a can of sardines

taeyong: also strong hufflepuff energy. he's the keeper and captain of their quidditch team and a prefect too, picked purely cause he's good with kids. walks around without his scarf in the cold winter because he wrapped it around ten's neck one morning and nagged on him for not taking care of his health properly, never got the scarf back and doesn't mind. i feel like snape would intimidate the crap out of him, like he would not be able to stay calm during his classes rip. he'd be adored by all the other teachers though, especially flitwick who believes he's really gifted in charms

johnny: a gryffindoor pureblood and keeper and captain of the quidditch team. always the one who tries to talk things out with mcgonnagall when they pull some stupid shit and get caught, never successful. has the marauders map and likes to throw underground raves in hidden rooms and tunnels. buddies with peeves and the house elves. buddies with everyone actually. and regardless of liking him like that or not, every girl in school has fantasized of fucking him in the quidditch locker room showers ooooop-

yuta: omg the heartbreaker of the school. a halfblood slytherin prefect and beater. snape's favourite student, like he gets whatever he wants from that man without trying. everyone is lowkey into him cause of his hot and mysterious vibe and there are so many rumours about his sex life circulating around, but no one actually knows if he's seeing someone. people also speculate he's a metamorphmagus but no lol he just dies his hair a lot. has a pet cat who's mean to everyone except him and mark. likes to explore the forbidden forest cause he's a weirdo

doyoung: a ravenclaw pureblood who hates quidditch, only shows up for taeyong's matches and nags him afterwards if hufflepuff loses. he's the headboy and happily uses his title to threaten haechan. hates divination with a passion and idolizes mcgonnagal, as he should. knows everyone's bussiness in the whole damn castle, never starts drama but almost always ends it. used to tutor some younger students but they quickly realised he's a mini mcgonnagall and zoomed straight outta there. snape lowkey wishes he was in slytherin but don't tell anyone

kun: gryffindoor headboy, probably the calmest person in that entire house and the only one who can kinda control the chaos. if yangyang or hendery annoy him too much he'll give them the wrong password on purpose, mcgonnagal has this unspoken respect for him for that reason. feels really bad for the house elves and wants to help them as much as he can. known as the dad or daddy of gryffindoor, depending on who you ask hehehehe

ten: the artsiest ravenclaw but fucking terrible at riddles, so he's always stuck at the door unless someone let's him inside lmao. is super into divination but purely for the aesthetic. never wears his uniform properly, always wears taeyong's scarf and lots of witchy jewelry. started a dance club in the room of requirement, loves hogwarts halloween with his whole heart. set a classroom on fire once and managed to sneak away undetected. always hooks up with someone at johnny's parties

jaehyun: the fucking fratboy of gryffindoor. he's a halfblood and a chaser on the quidditch team. left so many girls on read oh my god. sneaks alcohol and weed into school, coorganizes parties with johnny, yuta and mark. people think he's this hot bad boy or some shit, lol no bitch he's a dumbass don't waste your energy on a doofus like him, have you heard his laugh he sounds like a 45 year old man. mcgonnagall doesn't trust him at all, always looks at him with shifty eyes. the fat lady flirts with him everytime he approaches the commonroom door

winwin: on the snobby pureblood side of slytherin, like he gives off really judgy vibes. is in ten's dance club, there's a rumor going around that he's an animagus 'cause he moves gracefully like a cat or smth, but he isn't he's just really talented. spends most of his time in the owlery petting birds. the bloody baron freaks him out, most of the ghosts do. tried to be a big brother figure to renjun and chenle but they bullied his ass like crazy so he dropped them like hot potatoes

jungwoo: the most confident gryffindoor y'all. he's a muggleborn and a chaser. has the cutest pet owl, is really into care of magical creatures. snape hates him because he's too "sunny" of a person. wild at parties but looks fine in the morning somehow. the biggest flirt you'll ever meet and has so many bitches wrapped around his little finger lol, there's a rumor going around that he's real beast in bed. awesome at dueling, uses his cute airhead shtick to apsolutely destroy people. can you tell i love his pisces ass?

lucas: a hufflepuff halfblood and beater. wannabe fuckboy but can't because he cares too much lol, those muscles are made of feelings dawg. hits on every girl he sees and is almost always successful 'cause we're weak for cute and sweet himbos. is the biggest show off on the quidditch field and has his own fan club. really into care for magical creatures, like literally wants to befriend every single one of them, hagrid has to pull his ass away from them before he gets hurt rip

mark: a gryffindoor prodigy, a muggleborn and a chaser. the most stressed prefect you've ever seen. mcgonnagall has a soft spot for him and everyone knows it. snape dislikes him but respects him because he's fucking brilliant at potions. a lot of people like him and are into him but he doesn't know how to respond to them lol socially awkward king. plans parties with johnny yuta jaehyun and ten, is always roped into the dreamies schemes against his will. no one can fucking tell if him and haechan are on good terms cause they're at each other's throats all the time, but slobber all over each other like crazy when they get drunk

xiaojun: the most emotional ravenclaw. a halfblood and a prefect. he dated a girl for a long time and she broke his heart, moped about it in the prefect's bathroom for ages. lowkey believes she cheated on him with yuta but isn't sure, is extra weary around him though. says he's done with love but then simps over a new girl every two weeks smh. no one understands how he's such good friends with hendery and yangyang, like the combination of the two of them is a recipe for disaster. whenever they rope him into their bullshit, he always manages to drop their asses in the perfect time and doesn't get caught. many portaits are jealous of him 'cause he has better bone structure then them lol

hendery: the best definition of a gryffindoor. comes from a rich pureblood family, is a beater on the quidditch team. he's the life of the party, man. out of all the students he hates, he is the one snape hates the MOST and he's so proud of that. a really fast runner so he never ends up in detention 'cause it's just too hard to catch him. buddies with the ghosts and hagrid. tries really hard to impress girls, it only works half of the time when he's not being too intense

yangyang: also a gryffindoor pureblood, tried out for the chaser position but didn't make it, is still bitter about it. has a really fucked up owl that always messes up his letters. constantly in detention, like he's cleaned that entire castle by himself 43 times already. also in ten's dance club, also really good at dueling when he actually tries. really into muggle culture, explores it in his free time and shows everyone cool, new music he found all the time. gives kun daily headaches cause he's way too energetic in the morning

shotaro: imma say he's a hufflepuff but don't quote me on that cause i don't know him that well. he seems like he'd have lots of friends though and would be in ten's dance club

sungchan: don't know him well either so i'll just say gryffindoor??

renjun: i'm torn between ravenclaw and slytherin, gonna go with slytherin for him. he's a halfblood and a prefect, also uses his title to threaten haechan. loves defence against the dark arts anď herbology, might become a healer someday. gets tricked by the moving staircases all the fucking time, ends up at madam pomfrey's way more than he likes to admit. likes the slytherin aesthetic but can't stand the evil stereotypes. most people think him and chenle are brothers, wants to strangle chenle when he plays into it. once told the bloody baron to fuck off, no one dares get on his bad side since that day

jeno: pureblood hufflepuff prefect and a chaser. he's the cute, athletic guy everyone has a crush on. is on snape's good side 'cause he likes cleaning up his brewing station after finishing the task the lession is about. is the best flyer in the entire school and has the best chance of getting scouted in the future, everyone knows it but if you mention it to him he blushes like crazy. i feel like he's been in many fwb situations but they all ended well because he's a gentleman

haechan: a slytherin through and through. halfblood and seeker on the quidditch team. thought he was gonna be prefect and was hella pissed he wasn't chosen, i mean hello you're a snake who would want to give a snake authority goddamn it. also always complains during quidditch matches, calls everything a foul just 'cause he wants to win. puts up this persona of the mischevious slytherin boy but it falls flat on it's ass because he's peeves's favourite target

jaemin: a muggleborn hufflepuff, because of that reason he's sworn to himself he'll take care of jisung like a mother. a chaser on the quidditch team. such a sweetheart my gosh, like that dude is always so happy, unless he hasn't drunk his 6 cups of coffee. speaking of, mcgonnagall and pomfrey worry for his health like crazy but won't admit it. excells at care for magical creatures and charms, horrible at ancient runes like he didn't think there'd be so much math involved. girls are also crazy into him but he's such an introvert, the thought of someone wanting to be around him so much scares him. still flirts with everything that breathes lol

chenle: a slytherin and a pureblood, from one of those rich old families. because of that people expect him to be a lil brat, turns out to be the coolest guy you'll ever meet. he's friends with everyone regardless of house, a chaser on the quidditch team, known as the one who scores the most points in a game. he's great at defence against the dark arts and transfiguration, is thinking about becoming an auror 'cause that dude fears nothing i'm telling you. was made a prefect instead of haechan, rubs it in his face like crazy, but ultimately just let's people get away with stupid shit like "haha nice one, respect". memorized all the secret passageways of the castle in his head, helps johnny, mark, ten and jaehyun with their parties. pisses off filch like no other, was in detention all the time with yangyang until they realised how terrible it is when the two of them are in close contact lol so he gets let off the hook all the time. also fucking flirts with everything that breathes, the biggest fucking tease like you never know what he means smh

jisung: jaemin's muggleborn hufflepuff son, though most people are surprised he isn't in gryffindoor 'cause god the reckless shit that boy pulls... always late to breakfast with his uniforn all messy. people think he's very innocent but like his bestfriend is chenle, so how pure could he be. he's a seeker on the quidditch team, goes extra hard during hufflepuff-slytherin matches 'cause he wants to knock haechan off his high horse. blushes like crazy whenever he sees a cute girl which only gives chenle more reason to tease him 'cause he's a lil bitch like that. is the star of ten's dance club but has tripped and fallen down multiple flights of stairs, this kid's a walking paradox

to conclude:

gryffindoor: johnny, kun, jaehyun, jungwoo, mark, hendery, yangyang, sungchan

hufflepuff: taeil, taeyong, lucas, jeno, jaemin, shotaro, jisung

ravenclaw: doyoung, ten, xiaojun

slytherin: yuta, winwin, renjun, haechan, chenle

[thoughtfulpaperback]

CHARMED 03X10 REVIEW!!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!

GENERAL THOUGHTS

Well Damn! This episode was far from perfect, but as far as excitement and moving the plot forward it sure enough stepped up from the last two episodes. Solid 9/10 for me.

Some things to note though are as thus follows:

We might now know who made the Tomb of Chaos and why, but we still don't know how the heck the monsters started getting out in the first place. They could just go the route of the whole fiasco last season (magic dying) caused it but that would mean there is not big bad for this storyline and we'd have to fall back on Abby's storyline for one. Unless the Perfecti are gonna become a problem which they definitely have the potential for.

The writers still can write a solid explanation for how magic works in this world. Josefina obviously is a witch or some magical being (even if she doesn't have a "main" power like telekinesis) proven by the fact she can create spells and apparently is affected by the charmed ones magical allergy. But arguably last season mortals/non magical beings were able to harness magic through combined magical elements and science so maybe anyone can use magic???

The lore is still messy as heck and the effects and vibe still feel more alien/sci-fi than magical. The tallness and the look of the perfecti are giving me star trek realness.

Anyways onto my dislikes ⏭

DISLIKES

1) Effects for Macy's Powers

Last time I mentioned that they changed the special effects for Macy's telekinesis, some of y'all suggested that it was only the force field or magical slow down/motion freeze that had a blue effect. This episode disproved that as Macy threw the dagger and used her powers to push the dagger forward with more force. The effect was blue and again I hate it.

Season 2 motion stop was a whole different color and looked different than this sort of blue force effect. I stand by what I said previously it feels more sci-fi than fantasy and I am vehement against that shift in vibe

2) The writers don't think well clock them for the board?

So the witch board has been programed to find rifts now and we didn't get to see that? I mean Harry said he figured out the calculations to predict where they'd be but not that the board could be programed to figure it out. I mean that would have been a nice feature the episode after he figured it out....I mean come one I know six days have passed but a quick line at least bringing attention to the new feature would be nice.

3) this lore is messy AF

Ya'll i think maybe I need to give up hope that the writers will ever make any of this make sense, but like okay so far we have a source of all magic that apparently isn't affected by a magical tree that -when tainted- can cause magic to die. And now we have advance ancient magic and magical tribes which predate charmed ones. So why are there different lines of charmed ones and when did they come about and why were they needed? Also magical tribes organizing enough to giving up magic to create basically magic AIs to lock up big bads, but apparently in enough chaos to have the problem???? That suggests maybe a time before the chaos of thier were organize tribes. Maybe chaos is subjective here?

Also as far as canon goes, apparently the source of all magic can give people powers (macy got all the powers when she took on the source) and we don't know what the heck happened with that since they used it to fix the tree. Like I'm sure it didn't just go away since it is the source of all fricken magic. Maybe they should look into that or Let Josefina try spending quality time with the tree and some black amber since they cured it.....just saying.

Also I guess the whole consequences for using magic for personal gain is 100% gone because I think self-medicating with your powers would fall under that category.

LIKES

1) Hacy moments that both cure depression and remind me that there are still issues afoot.

I love me those hacy scenes where they support and care for each other as a couple. I awwed, but it looks like Harry got a taste of that mortal life and won't be letting go of it as a possibility, while Macy looked a bit off put by the idea of what mortality for Harry might mean. So there is the promise of some drama in the future.

I love whitelighter Harry. I think that since the show is really shifting vibes Harry's whitelighter status and abilities (which still are vague tbh) still tether it to the OG or at least the idea of it being in the vein of the OG Charmed. If there are no more whitelighters at all then I feel like they might as well have renamed it and or just as easily have it be a different show completely. I hold onto the idea that that fantasy feeling and demons/whitelighters were the core of What made charmed (the og) charmed. So I am glad Harry hasn't permanently lost his powers and hope he never will. I mean the book of shadows had a spell that took away immortality without taking away powers-as seen in season 1- I mean macy used it along with a voodoo spell. The writers mean to tell me that Macy can't remember and rewrite a spell she used but Mel can recreate the book of shadows and possible spells we've never seen them use?!?!?

2) Pacing and energy

I dont know about yall, but the last few episodes weren't very exciting and some felt like they dragged on without moving the plot along. This epsiode was actually quick paced and I felt there were actual stakes here.

3) the messages

Love anytime a show advocates for people getting help with thier mental/emotional health. Love that the show hasn't said that Josefina isn't a witch without powers, love that they are pushing the message of not needing to prove what she is to anyone.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

So the Board detects rifts now...

Maggie forgetting the Marble

Mel being the new Harry as far as overprotective of Josefina and her "readiness"

Dagger dripping green ooze

Perfecti coming through the portal

"I am never gonna stop fighting for you..."

Perfecti coming in to solve all the problems

[blonde-toddy]

Random and Not So Random thoughts while watching Bridgerton: Season 1, Episode 1

I'm supposed to dislike the Featherington mama, right? I mean, I rather enjoy tasteless and tactless at times.

And I'm supposed to like the Bridgerton family? Name of the show and all.

Ah, the "rebel" sister. Not predictable at all.

I would be mad as hell....getting my back scratched up by tree bark, and the son of a bitch fucking me looks down at his watch....then proceeds to hurry up! Even his footman is like "this mf."

Ok mama, shade your hoe ass son then.

All these white dresses. I could never. I am feeling the feathers in the hair though.

Gawd bless these poor Featherington girls. I can't be the only one who cringes when things are awful and embarrassing. And the Queen. She is not here for the shits. AT ALL.

And here's our heroine. Ok, Daphne! You got the seal of approval from the queen. All y'all did was curtsy and bow your head but I guess you did it the prettiest. What a fucking time to be alive.

Gossip papers are legit the regency gossip blog/podcast.

I'm getting Little Women vibes from Daphne and Eloise....but instead of Meg, Daphne has MAJOR Amy energy (SHE JUST DOES. I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT). Eloise is a Jo, which needs no explanation.

Diamond of the first water. That's how I want to be complimented going forward.

Aww Portia....your hating ass! And of course the wicked sisters are hateful to the heavier sister. She's not even really chunky or blemished for them to be acting like that. Penelope has a round face and a very clear complexion....but it's Hollywood so I digress.

Portia and her mean ass daughters are eating crow. All that hating and shit and now the country cousin is a baddie.

Oh excuse me. I'm pretty sure an orgasm just rode in on a horse.

Oh he's a brooding drunk Duke. Yummy poison. And I think we just met the real Queen in this universe. "Your regrets are denied." You going to her party mf! You gotta meet Daphne somehow. Shit. But leave the flask at home. I cannot.

Hoe ass Anthony. Poor Sienna.

'Thank you, next' is literally the perfect song for this scenario.

Oh great, Anthony's hoe ass is a cockblock too.

Yeah, Mama, he stresses me out as well!

All her brothers can't be hoes, surely.

Y'all can't duck the goat! Get in that ass Lady Danbury.

Oooh shit. Baby Bridgerton brother spotted the country cousin!

Well hello Duke! That damn swarm!

Daphne is done with your shit Anthony. She just wants to have some fun and find a husband!

Gawd, now this creepy fuck. You should have stayed with your hoe ass brother.

Aw she's shaking on his ass. "Adieu." MF!

But he's not having it!

Run Daphne! Right into the Duke. What a fucking meet cute.

Oh, he's a cocky mf! And she doesn't even know who tf he is. Golden.

Of course he knows her hoe ass brother.

Yeah, mf. That's his sister. You looking curious now. Here we go.

Oh she's low-key roasting him.....and I think he likes it.

*me singing "Look look look look back at you for what?" I'm not finishing that line. I would always look back at that specimen of a man right there though.

Damn hoe ass Anthony, the carriage ain't gonna turn into a fucking pumpkin. Let her have some fun! He irks the fucking piss out of me.

Oh great. He's here to do more blocking.

Marina got fans!

'Girls Like You' is also fitting for this scene .

Poor Daphne. This creepy fuck about to shoot his shot again.

Damn, Portia. Quit being hateful to Marina, shit. I'm trying to like you.

And here's Berbrooke's creepy ass.

Eloise tried to save her sister. She really did. At least Hyacinth is here.

Aww Penelope likes Colin, but Colin likes Marina. This is soapy, yet delicious.

Anthony, you're not just a hoe, but a dumb hoe. I told y'all Daphne gave me Amy vibes. Marriage is not a game for her. You better tell your dumb ass brother!

Anthony and Simon have excellent chemistry. I want to know more about their history and relationship. They've obviously been up to hoe shit together.

Oh Penelope your jealousy is showing.

Lord Featherington looks like creep and I don't trust him.

Yay Berbrooke, another creep I don't trust.

The Shade Queen and the Scheming Queen.

The plotsky thickens. Them ladies plotting and scheming and matchmaking.

I mean Marina is obviously tripping because there's not blood on her sheets. Secret pregnancy plot point? Maybe.

Inviting the Duke for dinner and seating him next to Daphne. Y'all are neither slick, nor subtle.

Francesca saying what we're all thinking. Yes honey he does have a presence about him. Eloise dropping facts. He is a rake. And it's hot.

That look. Don't look so repulsed, Daphne. That man fine. Plus he's amused by your attitude.

Ok lil banter. Daphne stays shading the fuck out of him on the low. He snapped back this time though.

And Anthony looking all concerned that they're talking. Bye hoe.

And the scheme is unraveling.

Also, I'm going to look up a Gooseberry Pie recipe.

Anthony, you're really irritating me with this controlling shit man. Get his ass Violet. This mf really thinks he runs shit. Crush him mama! Crush him!

He really went to fuck her one last time and then kicked her out. He's literally the worst! Fuck Anthony. Fuck him with a cactus.

The bloody corset marks are a very fine detail, indeed.

Penelope, you cutie. I like the pink!

This raggedy bitch! That's why Colin told you no, HEAUX!

The swarm.

Ok Duke and Daphne. I see y'all seeing each other from afar.

The maid spotted the non-blooded sheet. Now sheet gonna hit the fan.

*It's electric! Boogie woogie oogie!*

Damn it all to hell, Anthony. Just when I think you can't get worse, you fucking do! You really out here PROMISING Daphne to fucking Berbrooke. I get that the Duke is your fuckboy homie and all but this mf right here is straight up creep. Anthony.....sit on a cactus.

Aw Marina, you busted boo. All the clapback came with a slapback. There is a nuance to Portia I can't put my finger on. Its why I can't hate her even though she's been pretty awful.

Daphne trying to take a beat and this creepy fuck shows up! Oh he went full fucking creep mode. Is he really trying to force himself upon her?!

Have no fear, the Duke is near...trying to be captain save a hoe, but alas the hoe saved herself. Daphne knocked that mf clean out! And the Duke is impressed! This looks like the start of a beautiful situationship.

Daphne gotta blow this popsicle stand before someone catches her alone with 2 men. One according to the Duke. He's got funnies.

Did that mf just propose while unconscious? Berbrooke begone, shit!

Amy...I mean Daphne still dropping knowledge about the lack of options women in that era had. I rather like Daphne.

The Duke likes her better without all the fans. Hmm.

Oh here it is.

Yes pretend to be lovers. That always works out well. No one ever catches feelings.......said no one ever.

I mean y'all are hot and this is what I came here for, but still.

See, situationship.

They're convincing because they're only pretending to pretend. I cannot with these 2, already.

[melaboveall]

Cancel Culture is Toxic

The moment you people will realize how toxic the cancel culture community is the moment your lives will be so much more peaceful. Cancel culture is so toxic and inconsistent. These are not people who you should be reaching out to online for help and guidance. These are also people you don’t need as your friends too  unless they get their shits together mentally and gain peace within themselves becuase all I ever see them do to you is spread hate. They are like High School or Elementary school kids in adults bodies but even worse. You see cancel culture it was nice at first, I admit, when it was about calling out homophobes, rapists, sexually assaults, racists, abusers, murderers, rape apologists, those type of things but then it got out of control. The wrong people y’all looked up too became the voices for yall because they refuse to even hold themselves accountable and lash out at others for their current wrongdoings. Sometimes cancel culture is so toxic that what the person did wasn’t even bad. The problem is "cancelling" someone now has become an excuse for bullying someone online you don't like. Also to be mean to others because of their ego has these toxic fanbases liek them knowing they’re going to defend their trash behaviors. 

You really bully someone into apologizing and then have the nerve to tell them their apology isn’t genuine.  It's kind of like "I don't like something that you said, so now I will proceed to ruin your life so that no one else can see the content which you produce".

Are you really using cancel culture to really hold people accountable? But then in the back of my mind, the questions I need to ask now do you want them to change, be dead, get fired, or show you dislike someone? My heart is different, I don’t want those to die, I do want them to change if the mistake wasn’t that bad but I’ve seen most of y’all really wished death on people even for something so small and when people can learn better from that and that’s really a big problem. Y'all didnt grow up to hold people accountable or become woke like y’all think yall did and this shows. If you want to hold people accountable look at yourself in the mirror because the way your energy has been showing it isn’t it. You’re using cancel culture as an scapegoat to hide it behind your hurt and hatred to take out on others. So you have lived your like being this perfect person with no wrongdoings or mistakes? That’s what it sounds like. Look at how you’re acting now. You’re not woke, you’re hurting. You’re not woke, you got deep rooted anger within you. You’re not woke, you’re bitter. You’re not woke, you became toxic. But why is it time to say you’re wrong you get sp upset to take shots at others? So it’s okay for you to call out others to hold them accountable but the moment it’s time for you its wrong? Check your egos. 

People of the cancel culture will do anything to ruin a person’s name even if it means digging deep into their past to look for one single bad decision they made. Cancel culture implies that human beings don't have the ability to change or grow from their mistakes. People can get cancelled over something they did multiple years ago, which isn’t always a true reflection of the person they are today. People grow and change. Nobody is the same as they were when they were younger. You can get cancelled for doing the smallest little thing wrong. It’s ridiculous. And the moment people try do do some good you have to reminds others of the bad. Maybe you don’t want them to change to become a better person for yall own guilts that maybe you’re hiding to make you feel better about yourselves. Get you some therapy please instead of creating a toxic platform on the internet and teaming up with internet friends you dont know personally but can relate to your mentality to bully and humilate others. You probably was that loner in school, now you’re taking whatever you went throught out on others growing up and teaming up with internet folks relating like yourselves “calling out” folks.  I promise yall will feel better about yourselves if you stop emulating your high school bullies and trauma bonding with other adults who haven't grown since either. 

You put on blast, constantly dragging someone while tagging your internet friends 24/7 threatening to unfriend them if they don’t unfriend that person themselves because you have a problem with them or they’re whatever they are to you or pick at everything that doesn't align with your views and your experience. And when you don’t feel like unfriending you’re apparently caping for that person or “allowing them into your space.” You need to get off the internet and get a life if you really think that. I mean go ahead and unfriend and block me then because you fail to realize how draining that gets to constantly being told to unfriend or block whoever you have a problem with. It’s all drama from you at this point. 

If were being honest, at this rate everyone in this world will be cancelled at some point because everyone has done something they have better themselves in. Everyone has made some mistake or a bad choice once in their lives.  As long as it’s not rape or murder or being a pedophile who cares?

I’ve seen people forgive others for THEMSELVES and still be cancelled only just because you yourselves want to hold that grudge and not forgive. It’s scary to think you’re not allowed to forgive the so called problematic anymore. It should be called bully culture instead of cancel culture. 

The other big issue with cancel culture is that it doesn't really tackle the issues it is against. Silencing people with views, opinions, ideas you don't like doesn't challenge or make those go away. It just builds resentment and increases the distance between people. Now I feel y’all caused people scared to voice their own opinions because you’re going to get others to drag that person and put on blast. Talking and listening to people brings us together.  We say “mental health is so important”, then we wreck peoples’ mental health by “cancelling” their existence and voice.

If you’re really this type of person I really don’t want you into my space. You fanbases of these type of people are dangerous too. Get you some help instead of being on the internet trying to drag people all the time. The problem is you more than you think of others you’re trying to drag and cancel.  

[party-gilmore]

People on this site need to learn the difference between "not liking" something vs "hating" something.

Hating something is like... putting your time and energy into being genuinely angry and upset about a thing on an emotional level. Like, "hating" is Active Effort.

Not Liking something is just... not really liking it? It's not a negative term, it's a neutral one - because To Like is already skewing positive, in Favor Of. To not like something is just to not feel a positive skew toward it. You can not like something without particularly actively disliking the thing, just not particularly wanting to engage with it.

Anyways the points I'm trying to make are two-fold:

1) I'm seeing a friends post go round again about Dont Hate Kids (which I cant believe is a controversial statement but I guess it is?) and folks are getting all defensive like "but I genuinely dont like being around them how can you tell me I have to shove that away and make myself uncomfortable for their sakes ur being unreasonable!!!!" and I'm like???? It's fine??? To not particularly like them??? No one's saying you have to like kids anymore than they're saying you have to like your coworkers, or every stranger in the grocery store, or even people in general!! Some people just dont like other people, or being around them! But you know what? You still gotta be kind and polite when you cant avoid interacting, because that's how you treat people.

KIDS ARE JUST SMALLER PEOPLE WITHOUT IMPULSE CONTROL OR GOOD JUDGEMENT.

I also dont like being around grown people without impulse control or good judgement. But I dont hate them for that??? I dont like them, but that's just... neutrally, i dont really want to be around them. That's different from hate.

So stop getting so defensive over "dont hate kids" just because you feel like you're getting personally attacked for not being all excited about them. Chill out. You're not. Unless you're actually going around acting all hateful towards children, especially if it's just for the fact that they are kids. In which case what the fuck is wrong with you go to fucking therapy.

2) Some of y'all need to stop taking things so personally when a stranger comments that they don't really like your fav character or show. It's not some attack on your identity. They just didn't like it. That's fine. They dont have to like it, just like you don't have to like their favorite. Save that retaliatory energy for racism, sexism. trans/homophobia, and people being actually hateful instead.

[the-blueberry-jellyfish]

Discord Exchange

Just gonna post the bios and stuff here so it's all together and organized. Whoever gets me can pick anyone from this list, you to do✌️✨ Got some dbz and some non-dbz choices. Some of them have a few more pictures in their tags, but not all. I don't care if my gift is written or drawn🦑 And, particularly if you're writing, feel free to include your own oc in whatever's going on, if it helps you get things rolling or whatever. I feel like y'all have the harder job😂💙

---

Cam

He/Him, 5'5", gay ace

Cam's babie c: Well, kinda lol. He grew up in an orphanage and spent a few years homeless, on the street. Nowadays, after carving out a place for himself through a series of turf wars, he's the gang boss of his city's second most prominent gang. He lives in a motel he owns and runs, which is his primary source of income. He's outgoing and friendly, despite the violent side of him and treats his gang members like family. He doesn't much like death, since he's seen so much of it, but views it as a necessary evil, depending on the circumstance. Basically you're all good and taken care of if you're on his good side, but probs in hot shit if you're on his bad side. He doesn't like spending time alone. He would rather sit in silence with someone else than be alone in a room. He's been able to come to terms with things like being alone to go to sleep and such, but if he's ever forced into isolation, it gives him mad anxiety, dude. He refuses to spend more than $20 on anything and much prefers thrift stores and shoplifting😂 He's more okay paying for things at family owned establishments, but he doesn't like to give big companies money lmao. He really loves listening to people play music live, especially if it's jazz music. And just, ,, has to dance😤👏👏👏 He absolutely loves animals and is always setting out water and extra food for the strays. He's named the ones he sees regularly and is working on getting little shelters built for them😭💙🐶🐱✨ He also will bury any dead strays and roadkill that he finds. He feels like they deserve that much.

Likes: His gang members, jazz, PURPLE!! and pink!!, sleeveless shirts and jackets, thrifting, ANIMALS😭💙, gaudy ass decorations😂, gaudy ass anything tbh, pasta, his rainbow steletto switchblade😗💙✨

Dislikes: Being alone, "gross yellows", authority figures, rich people, beING ALONE, spending money😪💸, hot days, seeing people struggle, drugs, BEING ALONE

---

Gale

He/Him, 6'10", pan

Asshole. Asshole man. Will kick your ass np and can be a bit of a bully to those he perceives as being weak. He's not afraid to voice his opinion, not really caring about what other people think of him, and takes an instant disliking to people who are snobby or authority figures. He tends to be quick-tempered and closed off to others, but to those he cares about he's fiercely protective and loyal. He will kill for those few, special people and really only feels truly at ease with those people. He has trouble processing and expressing his emotions a lot of the time, especially more complex ones, which can lead to him just defaulting into a grumpy state. He doesn't really have any true hobbies because he was never able to healthily explore those types of things, so he usually just relaxes in his free time, which is fine with him because he tends to stress😂 Though, he is a bit of an adrenaline junkie and won't say no to going out and doing stupid things just for the sake of doing them😂👏✨ He has an absolutely massive, and also ever-growing, candle collection. He doesn't like to turn down buying new ones when he sees them, so it's resulted in every flat surface in his home being covered with candles. No, he doesn't think it's weird and no, he doesn't think that's too many candles. Aaaand though he hates cleaning, he can't stand for things to be messy or untidy because it gives him massive anxiety, so everything is always put away and clean 😤

Likes: CANDLES!!! (it's not a 'like' it's an obsession), alcohol, everything to be clean, blue and yellow, just... relaxing, horror movies, cold weather, attention, just about any kind of attention, making memories via doing stupid shit😂

Dislikes: People with an holier-than-thou attitude, jewelry, CLUTTER AND MESSES, bright ass lime green, horses (those bitches scary), people who are mean to kids (they get an extra ass kicking (ง'̀-'́)ง )

---

Isa

She/Her, 5', straight

My spunky gal! My little firecracker! She’s super outgoing, sweet, and friendly. In fact, she likes to be friends with everyone. Tends to go after the loner type people for friends though bc she thinks they need the love lol. And she’s got lots of love and support to give them. She’s the type of person that’s always there for anyone who’s going through a rough patch, trying to help them find a solution to the problem. She’s not very good at recognizing that someone doesn’t want her help though lmao. She thinks that everyone can be good under the right circumstances and surrounded by the right people. She likes to just let loose and have fun. She’s usually very carefree, silly, and up for trying new things. She’s also pretty damn hyper though lmao. She’s constantly a walking bundle of energy and excitement. Because of this, a lot of people just, ,, can't handle to be around her very long. It's definitely... a lot😂💙 And as nice as she is, she’s a feisty little shit and isn’t afraid of anyone. She’s gotten into a couple of fights with people she mmmaaayyybe shouldn't have fought and earned a few scars, but she just thinks they’re cool ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ No one’s gonna step on her and they most definitely aren’t gonna step on her family. She just. Has no fear😂 She's far too optimistic to think that anything irreversibly bad could actually happen. Everything can be fixed 😂👏✨

Likes: Food, lots of food, making new friends (especially if they're grumps or bad people she can annoy into not being bad😂), picnics, going on runs and outside adventures, spending time with family and friends, when everyone gets along, cute babies

Dislikes: Sitting still, doing nothing all day, bitches that come around just to cause trouble, alcohol, overly pessimistic mindsets

---

Klovnie

He/Him, 6'11", pan

STINKY MAN ALERT😂 Him and his twin, Klaunie (Spork's), are assassans. They're suuuper close and wouldn't really... be able to function without the other. Klov certainly couldn't, that's for sure😂 Klaunie pretty much takes care of and watches over him because he has no impulse control and no self-preservation instinct. He's prone to going barreling into situations without knowing much of anything about it. So yeah. The money they get from their job is just an added bonus to him because he very much enjoys his job. A little too much 🤡🤡🤡 Hgbgh. He has a big fascination with taxidermy and may or may not experiment with taxidermy on his victims. Ahem. He has... many people mounted on his walls. It's no big deal, don't worry about it. Oh yeah, and he's also a cannibal kjhkjhgj it's fine👌✨ The whole clown aesthetic comes from his family, who are all a part of a traveling circus. Though, only he and Klaunie are, ,, let's say odd,, , lmao. Which causes some issues. But aside from clowning, taxidermy, and his job, he likes to paint or sculpt in his free time. Though his artworks are, um... pretty abstract lmao. You don't have to understand it, just nod and smile 😂💕✨ Though, if you're genuinely interested, he's always more than happy to explain c: He's also a very good dancer and is always looking to imporove further. Come dance with him👀😂💙✨ He likes stars a lot and always signs things with a star instead of his name⭐️ In his mind, the star symbol is his name and you won't convince him otherwise. He has a big ol' mallet and her name is Tuesday Night Cherrypop Supreme. She's the love of his life and she's a good smash-y girl😂

Likes: Klaunie, Tuesday Night Cherrypop Supreme, finding roadkill, GLITTER! SPARKLES! SEQUINS!, adding a new taxidermy person to his room😂, pudding, sneaking bites of food before it's ready, singing and dancing, smeLLING THINGS, cheesy knock knock jokes!

Dislikes: Being ignored, people being mean to Klaunie, burnt food >:•c , overly plain things, missing a joke, people who refuse to have a good time🤡

[soonwellbefoundfic]

when you took that ring off...

marlee.

“Marlee, what's wrong with you?” His voice was calm – too calm. “You hear me talk?”! He bellowed when I remained silent.

I didn't want to talk. I didn't even want to be in his presence. I wanted to go home, drink two bottles of wine and forget that this day – hell, this past year even happened.

“Marlee!” He yelled, fed up with being ignored.

“What, nigga?! I don't wanna talk to ya ass. I don't even wanna see ya fucking face..” I snapped, glaring at him through narrowed eyes.

“What you do is so stupid – I not even believe you.” He spoke, ignoring every thing I'd just said.

“Can you please not talk to me?” I hissed.

“I don't even know you anymore.” His tone and the shake of his head pissed me off more than the words he'd uttered.

He didn't have the right to be disappointed in me when he was my biggest disappointment. Everything he'd done to me this past year canceled out even the slightest bit of anger, or disappointment he could harbor towards me.

“Maybe because you spend all your time under another woman.” My words were fire and his flesh – a highly flammable material.

He scoffed. “You bring her up for what? Don't talk about her.”

“You so quick to defend her,” I shook my head in disgust. “And Erin. You fucked her too? That's what she said – that you tried to when you were at her place. I'm not even surprised. Y'all both trash.” My tone expressed that I didn't care but I did. I cared so damn much it hurt to breathe.

Erin saying that shit to me sent my world into a state of darkness and my fist right into her mouth. I'd wanted to send those words back down her lying ass esophagus to sizzle to nothingness in her digestive acids. I'd wanted those words to be the last she ever uttered.

“Now you quiet? You wanted to talk a few minutes ago! Well, let's fucking talk, Larry!”

“I not talk to you like this. You talk stupid for nothing.” He scoffed, gripping the wheel tighter than necessary. “And you look stupid too.” His eyes slit me down the middle.

I seethed as he eyed the cut on my lip, remembering the expensive ring that'd put it there. “You fight, get arrested and fuck you face up – for what?!”

I balled my fist up, needing to expel the anger I was feeling.

“I can't stand ya ass!” I fumed, glaring out of the window at the Brooklyn homes we passed. “I'on even wanna be with you no more.”

“What you said?” He barked though I was sure he'd heard the muffled declaration. “Say for me again.”

Knowing he hated to be ignored I did just that. I fiddled with my nails and silently willed the car to move faster. When my nails grew to be a bore I went back to looking out of the window.

DUMBO. Outside of TriBeCa we'd also looked here. The lofts had been beautiful and new but the lower Manhattan apartment we resided in now had won our hearts.

I scoffed, remembering Larry's statements about moving to Brooklyn when our family grew too large for our TriBeCa loft. That shit ain't ever happening, I thought not knowing which was more unlikely – me having kids or Larry and I having a future.

"Say it!" He bellowed.

His face was crimson, his veins were creating a vine like texture beneath his skin. His nostrils flared and his chest heaved as he watched me – glared at me.

"I don't want to be with you." Mt voice was flat but clear. Crystal.

In a milli-second he was in my space. His frame dwarfed mine even in a seated position. His heat worked to melt my flesh but instead my own heat counteracted it.

My heart stuttered forward as he lowered his face to mine. "That make two of us, ma belle."

"Get the fuck outta my face!" I shoved him away, pissed that he had the audacity to feel how I felt. “Drive this car or let me the fuck out!”

“Bitch,” Larry muttered under his breath, earning a sideways glance from me.

“He cut you off because you're driving like a old lady.”

He instantly cut his eyes at me and frowned even as his gaze was one of amusement. “You wanna drive?”

“Nah.”

“Then shut up.” His smirk added a playful energy to his words.

“Alrighty then, Mabel.” I hummed, casting him a final glance before looking out out the window.

“Who is that is?” His confusion pulled my lips into a smile. His terrible English boggled my mind.

“The old lady your driving reminds me of.”  He gasped and then reached for me running his hand over my hair.

“Stop, Larry!” I laughed, as he continued to threaten the sleekness of my ponytail. “You're fucking up my hair!”

It was when my hand met his twists and tugged that he stopped, shooting an alarmed look my way. “I drive! You try to kill us?!”

“Imma kick ya ass when we get out of this car.” I half threatened, smoothing my hair.

He smiled. “You crazy. I like that.”

The throb on the right side of my face was slowly extending upwards towards my head, triggering a nasty headache. The concept alone had me ready to whoop Erin's ass all over again. I was tired and achy but somehow I knew that if I saw her again I'd find the energy to stomp a mudhole in her face.

Having never been in a physical fight my strength surprised me. The fact that even after I was pulled off of Erin I still possessed enough anger to fight ten men too surprised me.

Shock consumed me when after seeing her swollen and bloodied face I felt nothing. I'd expected remorse but all I felt was satisfaction, and rage.

I huffed aloud thinking about it.

“Are you dumb?! Why would you take this way?! It's dumb traffic because of construction.” I hissed as red-hued glow from brake lights clouded my vision.

“If you wasn't so dumb and fight people this traffic would not be a big problem for you.” He shot back, refusing to spare me a glance.

Disgust curled his lips downward and he gripped the wheel tighter as though the sound of my voice alone triggered his anger.

“Fuck you doing all that for?” I snapped, unable to fathom how he could feel a way towards me.

Instead of a response I received muddled french and flared nostrils. And everything I was barely fighting to contain blew the fuck up.

“I didn't fucking ask you to come get me so you can lose the attitude!” He said nothing so I went on. “You wanna sit over there huffing and puffing like I did something to your stupid ass. Fucking loser ass nigga.”

The traffic seemed to thicken further annoying me. All I saw was the red of brake lights and I felt the exact same way. I was seething, and I couldn't quite put my finger on what bothered me the most – Erin or Larry.

“You know, it's crazy that this whole time Erin disliked you. She hated your ass before she even met you – I wanted her to like you so bad, to see what I saw. But now that I think about it her 'not liking' you was probably a facade to confuse me because she more than liked you. Y'all probably been fucking for yearssss.” I laughed manically even as what was left of my heart shattered at the thought.

I glanced at Larry, catching the tick of his jaw and whitening of his knuckles as he gripped the leather bound wheel.

“Who was better? Luzy or Erin?” The question dismantled me and sent Larry's foot heavily onto the brake. My body rocked forward but I recovered quickly.

“Stop talking.” He warned, his voice tight and gritty.

“If I had to guess, I'd say Erin – she's Jamaican and all. Bitch always talking about pelting waist and whining and shit.” I laughed softly – coldly. “Then again the white bitch probably did everything you wanted her to. I bet she sucks a mean dick – I hear they good at that.” My voice cracked and to mask it I chuckled. “They must've both had some bomb ass pussy. Like, out of this world because why else would you throw our shit away.”

“Marlee – please, just stop talking.” His voice was a muted rasp. It crackled like wood in a fiery fire.

“You was so busy fucking with them you dried out.” I raved. “No baby juice left for Marlee!”

“Shut the fuck up!!!” He roared, finally looking at me with venomous eyes.

His glare sizzled my flesh, leaving nothing but bone and connective tissue.

“Fuck you! Don't tell me to shut up! Pussy ass can't take the truth.” I ranted, scrambling internally as I tried to reel myself back in.

I was always so careful with words. I knew and respected their power. I was the silent one during arguments – I never said too much out of fear that I would say the wrong thing.

Words packed so much force. A few recklessly placed together syllables could sever siblingships, friendships, marriages... It was so easy to spit them out and impossible to take the back. Once they left the tongue they couldn't be chewed and distorted. Once they left the mouth, they grew legs and skittered towards the brain of whomever was around to hear them where they lived on forever.

I never wanted my poor choice of words to be the spices that marinated Larry's brain. Most times when we fought I walked away from it, giving myself the time and space  to pull my thoughts together. And I didn't speak to him until my words were prim, proper and perfect. I didn't speak to him until I'd argued with him in my head, saying everything I thought I wanted to say. It took me mentally saying the wrong things to figure out what the right things were. That method had worked for as long as we'd been an us but now–

All the wrong things were at the forefront of my brain and on the tip of my tongue. The more I tired to care and reel myself in the more my tongue continued to lash.

I'd always worked to protect Larry's emotions. I knew his vulnerabilities and triggers, usually avoiding them with great caution and care. Now I was doing the opposite, and frankly it scared me.

Why didn't I care?

Why was it so easy to stop caring?

What did this mean for us?

I knew the answers to those questions yet and still I asked them, hoping to be pacified by at least a small part of my brain.

“Marlee, you don't know what is the truth so stop talking.”

He was too calm – too careless. He was supposed to react, to be passionate, to fight for me – and he didn't.

“I wish I never married you.” I seethed, seeing fifty shades of red.

“I wish I never meet you!” He bit back, sinking his teeth into my jugular.

He gave me the fire I so desired and it burned me to a crisp, leaving nothing but resentment.

“I hate you.” My voice was quite – so quiet I hadn't realized I'd spoken until I closed my mouth.

Internally, I battled. Half of me hoped he'd heard me loud and clear while the other half wanted him to never hear those words – from me.

But when his hands dropped limply from the wheel and his bleak eyes centered on me I knew he had. My words had hit him like a missile, destroying him.

He didn't blink or move – he stared, dragging my soul from my trembling body. His desolate glare and lifeless body consumed my lifeforce, making me feel nothing but regret. I hadn't exactly meant it but I wanted him to feel the pain that I felt. Instead, I felt more anguish than I'd ever experienced in my life as a result of hurting him.

My ability to feel remorse for hurting him when he never seemed to feel any when he hurt me injected me with a sensation of rage I'd never experienced before. Fury laced my tongue with ammo and I fought with everything I had to swallow it – even if the poison killed me. But I couldn't.

The sounds of honking horns should've acted as a warning. The fact that the red of brake lights no longer clouded vision should have acted to clear the toxic haze consuming my brain. My love for Larry and the vows that I'd taken should've prohibited such thought to turn to words...

“Maybe I shouldn't've gotten that abortion so I could see the look on you face when the baby came out looking exactly like Pierre–“ His fingers were around my throat before the statement could come to completion.

I gasped out as he slammed my upper body against the passenger side door. His fingers pressed into the flesh of my neck as my hands flailed at his forearms in search of release. My closed fist connecting forcefully with his left eye was the root of my freedom.

I gasped glaring at him before swinging at him again.

“You putting your hands on me now?” My voice cracked as my trembling hands went to my neck, feeling for tenderness that would confirm that my husband had really violated me.

“You know what,” I inhaled a large, ragged breath, trying to replenish my lungs. “This is over. We're over.”

My words meshed with my actions as I removed the ring that not only connected me to my husband but to my mother, tossing it at him. Next was my seat belt and then the door.

The horns that had been muffled by the interior of the car were now loud and clear and it took a mere second for me to realize that they were all aimed at Larry as the car had been stagnant for a while.

“I'm done with you.” I spared him one last glare, hoping it was the last I saw of him.

“I remember this place.” I grinned as we were led by the hostess to plush, neutral toned booth.

“What you remembered?” Larry asked as the hostess whirled around, leaving us with menus that were as posh as the rest of the décor.

“We came here after I found out I was pregnant – the second time.” I spoke, making sure to keep my voice leveled. I wanted to exude ease and confidence but when Larry's eyes softened with caution I realized I'd failed. “I also remember that the orange juice is $9 here...” I rambled on.

“Is so good though.” He smiled, silently promising not to delve into what I'd just spoken of. I was grateful.

“Meh.” I shrugged. “It's aightttt.”

“Marlee, last time we come you ask for a to-go cup and get mad when they say no.” He chuckled.

“That's cause it's $9!”

“Say whatever – I know the truth. I remember.” He teased, tapping his temple.

I waved him off and raised my menu, visually diving in. Though I remembered coming here I didn't remember what I liked from the menu, minus the decadent ass orange juice.

I scoffed at the prices even as my interest peaked at the descriptions. I must've really liked it here if Larry brought me back, I reasoned.

Tired of browsing the hefty selection, I lowered my menu only to find his gaze on me. He smiled and I blushed.

“You like the french toast with the cheesecake and ice cream stuff.” He told me before I could ask.

Using his description, that I was sure was wrong, I glanced down at my menu. “Donut Ever Go There French Toast?”

“Yeah.”

“You sure I don't like the crepes?”

“Yeah, I sure.” He smiled – arrogantly. “You only eat mine.”

“And maman's”

“Mine better. You say this to me but she never know.” He insisted.

I rose a brow. “Are you lying to me because I don't know better?”

“Never.”

“Swear it.”

“I swear to everything.” And to add validity to his words he signed a cross, starting at his forehead and then going down to his chest.

The waitress appeared before he could make it to his left shoulder. Because he was dramatic he completed his cross, not acknowledging her until his hand dropped from his right shoulder.

He placed our orders with a smile and after confirming the weirded out waitress hurriedly made her exit leaving the both of us cackling.

“Heeeey, Mar–“

“Where Erin?”

“She in the office,” He waved his marcel towards the curtained french door. “Damn girl, whats wrong with yo ass?”

Though I adored Ryan, I couldn't be bothered with him or anyone else in this salon today.

With quick, determined steps I headed for the office Erin called her own only to come to a slow stop when the door opened and she stepped out.

“Aight, Dawn you can come from under the dryer now.”

As Dawn muttered her complaints about her the dryer and being under there for too long Erin's eyes found mine. With a solemn expression she knowingly turned back around and went into the office with me following behind her.

I watched silently as she shut the door, leaving Dawn's protests and the chatter of the salon to be muffled.

“Erin,” I started, praying for the ability to stay calm. I needed to stay calm.

“Look, let's not do all the back and forth shit. You did ya nigga dirty and he brought his annoying ass around pressing me so I told him the truth. I ain't mean to but the shit slipped.” She shrugged.

I nearly choked on my own fury. “Slipped?”

Shrug number 2.

“Bitch, are you dumb?!” I nearly laughed. She couldn't be serious.

“No bitch, you're dumb!” She retorted, casually grabbing her water bottle off of her desk and taking a sip.

“Bitch, been feeling sorry for herself for 3 years and ain't done shit about it. All you do is cry about Larry's bum ass and forgive his bullshit. He cheated on you with a whole notha white bitch and ya dumb ass stayed. Fucking bozo.”

She spoke as though she were thinking aloud yet every single word was a dagger aimed at the center of my soul.

My fist clenched and nostrils flared and brows knitted.

This is your best friend, I reminded myself, she's merely talking out the side of her neck. Yet, even as I mentally reasoned with myself I found the distance between up closing, and it was my feet that were bridging the gap.

“Nigga dick is bomb though...” She chuckled, taking another sip of water.

My world froze and I replayed her words in my head, wondering if I'd missed the 'must be' part.

I hadn't.

“Fuck you just say?” I was I front of her.

“Nigga was whining, asking me if I was sure and shit. All that came to a halt when I sat on his dick.”

Her wail as my fist plowed into her mouth was music to my ears. A symphony.

“I feel funny.” I declared as Larry started the car.

“Is maybe because you just eat ice cream and cheesecake for breakfast.” Concern lined his eyes even as he teased.

“Shut up, “ I waved him off, buckling my seat belt. “It's not that – it's just,”

“Whats wrong?”

“You don't feel nervous about this – not even a little?”

“Not really.” He tilted his head. “Why you do?”

“The last time we tried marriage counseling it didn't go too well.” I shrugged feigning casualness.

“I not want to go back then – if I can be honest.” His voice was light as he spoke. “I think it's stupid then and in my head I wasn't mature for that.”

“And now you are?” I asked despite the fact that it had been his suggestion.

“Yes.”

I shrugged and shook my head. “I don't know why I'm nervous – I just feel... funny.”

“I not know either. This not even real appointment.”

“Maybe it's the fact that we have to go in to get a fucking referral that's making me nervous cause that's weird. Ain't that weird?”

“I not really think much of it.”

“I did. Like, why couldn't she just fax over the name and number of the best suited doctor?” I pressed, annoyed that I had nothing solid to blame my finicky nerves on.

“Marlee,” He rubbed at my thigh. “Everything will be good. We good.”

I wanted to believe him but the knots in my stomach wouldn't allow me to.

The car ride was silent as I found myself nose deep in my thoughts. Between the hard work Larry and I had ahead of us and my hectic recollections I was a mental mess. Partnering that with the uncertainty I felt speaking to counselor about our problems led to me being in shambles.

I'd been more than shocked when Larry suggested we go this route again and even more shocked when I instantly agreed. Our last bout with a doctor trained to mend marriages had been a nightmare. The appointments Larry failed to show up to were some of the first indications the he didn't give a fuck and was checking out of our marriage. That component alone made marriage counseling a trigger for my angst.

The idea of lifting rugs and yanking off old bandages made me nervous as well. The doctor would delve and we'd have to divulge to eventually heal. But healing was hard. It literally took stripping yourself down to your very core, exposing everything, to reach a certain level of vulnerability in which healing began to occur.

It was easier to give up than to fight.

And we had both done that only to find that the easy route wasn't rewarding at all. It was actually paved misery.

I sighed, and for the millionth time today my fingertip grazed the scar Erin had left me with. Frowning, I rolled my eyes. That bitch.

Remembering how brazen she had been had me ready to lay hands on her all over again. Sure, I was missing tons of puzzle pieces needed to form the complete image of our relationship but turning on me the way she did just didn't make sense. She'd been proud to say the things she'd said. It was as though she'd recited the lies and wanted to see me break.

When had our friendship gone to shit on her end? She was argumentative but she'd always been loyal and mostly supportive of me.

Her telling Larry about the abortion I'd had was a total shocker, and I could remember thinking she'd done it in an effort to get him away from me since that's what she'd always wanted. But when she started running her mouth about fucking him and how good the sex was I knew that her actions, as shitty as they were, weren't designed to emancipate me from Larry like I'd thought. Her actions, and words, had been self-involved and malicious.

I didn't regret fighting, destroying her salon or smudging my record. What I did regret was the warmth and love I'd greeted her with at the super market a few months ago.

That bitch had stood in my face, exchanged numbers with me and made plans to dine all while knowing what she did. She'd violated me for the second time and deep down I wanted to return the favor.

I knew the anger that I harbored for her would get me nowhere but being taken advantage of when you're damn near powerless is a major blow to the spirit. I wouldn't let it hinder me though – I had to move forward. Resentment was pointless and poisonous.

The car coming to a permanent stop was the remedy needed to dead my thoughts.

“Ready?” I looked over finding his eyes on me.

“Damn,” Erin huffed from across the table, pulling me away from the task of wrestling the tail off of my shrimp.

“I hate when restaurants don't cut off the fucking tail. It's not edible!” I whined, annoyed that there was a hindrance between my food meeting my mouth.

“Bitch, just bite the tail off.”

“Nah, cause then I would have to spit it out and like wipe my mouth and shit.”

She waved me off, glancing at the table to the left of us with a scowl..

“ The hell is wrong with you?” I quizzed, finally forking my shrimp into my mouth where it should've been seconds ago.

“This fucking baby won't stop crying.” She complained.

“It's a baby – they cry.” I deadpanned.

The baby had been crying for a while but it hadn't bothered me any.

“True, which is why they should have stayed their asses at home instead of ruining everyone else's peace with the screams of that thing.”

“Thing?” I chuckled, rubbing my protruding belly. “Hate to see what you're gonna call yours.”

She scoffed. “I'm not have fucking kids. They're terrible.”

“Girl, please.”

“I forreal.” I smiled at her slightly broken English that always exposed the roots she tried so hard to hide.

“Well, you know your role of a godmother is to take on all motherly responsibilities of my baby if something is to ever happen to me, or Larry.” Her eyes bulged and I laughed.

“Well, I'm gonna have to turn down the position, sis. Glad I didn't sign shit!”

“Bitch,” I laughed. “You're gonna love my baby.”

“Not if it look like it's long faced ass daddy.” She murmured, plucking a shrimp off my plate.

“My man is fine and jealousy will kill you.” I supplied as she smirked at me. “And if you bring your ass over here to my plate again, I'll kill you.”

“Pregnant?”

“How?” Larry and I quizzed simultaneously.

“Well,” The doctor started with a wry expression. “No method of contraception is completely 100%. The Natazia pill is 91% effective when taken as directed – and that's a good number but it leaves room, though small, for conceiving a child.”

“I,” My sigh was inward and used to calm my nerves. “When I left to go to Paris I didn't take my birth control. I haven't taken it since then.” The admission depleted me and I bowed forward in my seat.

Larry's hand met my back just as mine covered my face.

“What the fuck is wrong with me?” I groaned out, frustrated. “I have to be the most fertile woman on the planet and I can't have fucking kids. What a fucking curse!” I cried, tugging my hoodie over my face in an effort to hide my tears.

“How you know this?” Larry asked the doctor, rubbing my back with more fervor. It was to calm him – not me.

“Well, when Marlee came in last week for her annual exam we did a normal urine sample just for testing as a part of the exam. Because there was no concern of pregnancy we didn't expedite the sample testing. When we did run it and get the results a few days after your visit they came back positive – for pregnancy.”

When neither of us said anything she went on. “I know given your history and the fact that you were just prescribe a new birth control that this may not be the best news. I'm sure you guys need time to grasp this information and make a decision about this pregnancy.” Her voice was soft, cautious. “What I can say is that medicine has advanced immensely in the past few years – even the past few months. I'd love to tell you about it when you're ready just so your options don't seem so black and white.”

“What option?” Larry all but chirped.

“Lar,” I croaked, feeling his hopes float to the heavens.

His eyes dropped down to mine and when they connected his shoulders dropped. I didn't want him to get too excited about anything any doctor could tell him about new methods. We'd been there and done that. We'd been told that our baby was healthy and our pregnancy was normal. We been told of methods and options and new medicine and fucking advancement. Yet we still didn't have a child. I refused to believe that this time would be any different.

I refused to fail him again. I couldn't take it.

We wouldn't survive it.

"I can't believe we're here." I took in the endless blue before turning to face Larry, my husband. "I can't believe we're married."

His smile was gentle and his eyes warm. "I can."

"Yeah?" My grin stretched proudly across my face.

"Yeah." He approached me, leaving my body meshed between him and the balcony railing. "I plan this from the first day I know you."

"Nigga, please." I cackled, waving him off.

"I do. When you go crazy on my brother for try to take your camera I know." His arms threaded around my waist.

"You knew what?"

"That I marry you, and love you every day for the rest of my life."

"I'm so lucky," I breathed, burrowing my face in his neck just to make sure that this was real, that we were here and in love and married. "You're so right – it scares me."

His brows met. "Why?"

"All I really know is wrong." I admitted, playing with a lone twist that refused to stay with the rest.

"Now we change that." He pressed his lips to mine. "We ride this til the wheels fall off and when they do we fly." 

-

and now, you’ll never be happy..

[akria23]

Westallen/Iris Antis are hilarious...& pathetic 😬

They sit around talking about how most of them hates Iris and praying that westallen breaks ups while putting out threats about how the majority hate Iris so the show better end that.

Now heres the thing, a hater gonna hate - that’s what they do. However, at least hate with the hopes of some shit that’s actually plausible 😪.

1). Comparing Westallen to Caitlyn and all her merry men is just an error in o'so many ways. And also embarrassing. Iris West - although you may hate her - is a way more important character in the entirety of the show than any one of Caitlyn’s relationships. I never try to talk about snowbarry or whatever it’s called cause it seems so unfair…like we got everything in our pond and they ain’t even got a pond. But let me be frank y'all really should stop ending your rant with ‘He should be with Caitlyn…’ yo Barry didn’t even want ha as Savitar 😒. While haters stay motivated to see the end of westallen it ain’t NEVER gonna come. Why? Cause their relationship transcends not only time but space itself. Their love reins in alternate realities and upon different earths. Get yo mouth off that! She’s the love of his life. Even if they were to divorce or she was to die - it’s still Iris, it’s always gonna be Iris.

2). The show ain’t going nowhere if you hating ass bitches still here. Damn you don’t even know how to hate correctly. You not liking something don’t mean the writers gonna kill that off. You can sit around circle jerking each other all you want but your asses keep the numbers high as fuck with your hate. And that’s what’s so damn funny. You hating and the show becomes more about her every damn season. Look at the writing gods 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾. Y'all wanted her dead - they let y'all see that with a hard 'bitch you thought!’ You said she meant nothing - they got engage not once but twice! Back-to-back 😏. You complained she don’t do nothin….they done made her ass the team leader. Let me put it to you like this - no one gives a damn about yo feelings, because they’re fraud as fuck. Let me give you an example -when Spartacus was filming men got upset at all the shots of penis claiming they don’t wanna see that shit while hollering for more titties. The crew put in more penis 🙌🏾. Now I’m not one to advocate writers hating the desires of their fans…unless it is appropriate. Story and fairness above all else is valid. There is nothing wrong with Iris in said story, nothing wrong with the relationship in that story, def ain’t shit wrong with the actress - Candice - who plays ha. You hating for the sake of hating don’t make mountains move or ass cheeks clap 🤷🏾‍♀️. I’m aware some of y'all hate Iris cause she black. Well boo-boo for you. When you wake up tomorrow she still gonna be black & beautiful. When the new episode comes on she’s still gonna be BLACK & BEAUTIFUL. I’m aware some of y'all are ship haters…Westallen is here today and it’s here so hard that your alternate ship ain’t even got enough energy to pull a flatline. Sometimes I scroll past shit some of y'all say demanding to know what right she has, wanting her to shut up and sit down - right after saying she’s not an important character she don’t have a real voice/job. If you guys had a valid reason then it would be cool in the shade. But instead he shit most of y'all sprout is just demeaning for the sake of it all. I don’t give either one of you a pass because shipping has nothing to do with individual character. I’ve shipped before where the character was with someone else - I hate the ship yeah, but I didn’t dislike the female character(s) because she was the love interest. I see some of you sit around talking about how Caitlyn is better cause she’s science smart. I’m sorry to let you in on the secret, that don’t make her better than Iris nor does it make her move deserving of Barry’s love. I know the real world has brain washed you into thinking that women have to be this and be that to deserve the guy but that not true in story either. Story is the only thing that dictates whose deserving. And on the other hand of that I could complain about how Caitlyn has the weakest mentality out of all the characters while Iris has the strongest and say that’s why she deserves it. But that don’t matter and pitting the two women against each other as individuals- def when there is ONLY the two on the main team - is calling for women to be robots of perfection that we are not. There’s a hard difference in dragging a character cause you jealous…and criticizing the characterization/ plot of said character. That’s all I’m saying.

Saw someone say that we Iris stans ain’t defending her actions just claiming she ain’t going nowhere. A). She ain’t doing nothing bad for us to have to defend her. You bad cause she bossed up…we ain’t. You mad cause she had the audacity to tell it like it was - Flash ain’t an I, it’s a we. The flash is a fucking team effort my dude. So if Barry wants to be out here quoting all these I…I..I movements when he wants his way then he needs to be making solo moves with no damn help and without others being in danger. She had every right. Remind him he ain’t the only one there 👏🏾. You say she acting like a bitch…bitch where 👀? Cause she didn’t serve him with that yessir?! She ran that team without him for 6 months! And he’s back now which means they have to adapt and learn give and take in this new dynamic. That’s real shit for your ass. But I don’t think some of y'all understand story so…there’s that. And we say she ain’t going nowhere cause she ain’t going nowhere 😲.

Iris is the bomb dot com. That’s why y'all can’t make this about her characterization because if we’re to be frank then y'all should hate Barry, the lead, waaaay more than his love interest. But keep telling us it’s about xyz while pepping up these other characters who are worse in the writing zone 🤦🏾‍♀️. Roll out a -Siping tea on that - gif.

Now don’t get me wrong…I don’t want you fools to go nowhere! I don’t mind haters…those who don’t know how to hate right. The best haters for a production are idiots like yo asses - the type that says 'I hate it so much I paid 3 times to see it so I wouldn’t miss a detail…’ I need haters like this! We all need haters like this. Y'all with twitter accounts must be banging out numbers for them and for her on episode night! Like they say - you ain’t winning til you got a group of bad ass haters.

[thesportssoundoff]

Ten Rando Thoughts After A Big Boxing Weekend

Joey

May 8th, 2017

1- I think we all knew that Chavez Jr/Canelo was going to be an easy (sort of ) win for Canelo Alvarez but I feel like we all had hopes it'd be a little bit of a lot of fun. The problem, at least as it pertains to fun, is that Chavez Jr didn't bring his end of the bargain. As much as it is to see cool to see Canelo whip off combinations and show off his blink and you'll miss it improved defense, JCC Jr simply didn't show up for the big one. Now part of that is obviously due to Canelo but everything from the alleged gameplan (and I refuse to believe Nacho Beristain, a HOF trainer if there was one, would've ACTUALLY thought this gameplan) to the execution to the adaptability of JCC Jr was flat out painful. JCC could have and should have done a lot of things differently BUT perhaps, in the end, it merely boils down to the idea that one guy was there to win backed by super athletic talent, great coaching and vastly underrated technical skill vs a guy who was hoping to win backed by a superstar father, Bob Arum's ATG promotional push, a very limited on paper skill set and noway near enough talent or technique to truly compete. Now having said that...

2- While it didn't bother me, I don't know if I would've appreciated Max Kellerman and company essentially laughing at me for purchasing this event had I paid the full price. I thought Lampley, Jones and Kellerman all did a great job on the whole but Max's continuous almost verbatim "JCC Jr is all marketing banter and promotional push" type shtick probably made people who paid a lot of money for this event feel pretty dumb. Not that JCC Jr didn't do more than his part in that department already, mind you!

3- I mentioned this to the people watching the event and in hindsight, I feel even more confident in it. Talking about JCC Jr in shape is like talking about BJ Penn going back to 155 or Rampage with abs or whatever. It doesn't matter. It will never matter if he's in shape if the guy is shot. Even if you dislike JCC JR, there was a time where he was if nothing else a bundle of energy and body work. He was not a bad fighter; more of a lucky one who seemed to always catch the breaks lucky fighters normally get. When that's gone, it doesn't matter what shape he's in because the jig is basically up. BJ Penn, Rampage, JCC Jr, there reaches a point where it's no longer about what shape you're in and it's more about the tools or lack thereof you possess.

4- Bob Arum has said in the past that boxing undercards don't matter and yeah, he's pretty much right. Having said that, if you give fans SOMETHING underneath, even if that something is just a brawl between two B level guys or in the case of Matthyse/Lemeuix, you give us a B level slugger in a fight where he can throw down and show off a little vs relatively evenly matched opposition and see what happens! All we want are quick and painless appetizers to get us to the main course.

5- Going  back to Bob Arum right quick, IF we actually get Canelo-GGG (and until it happens, I'm going to live in this prepare for disappointment in the event of a joyous surprise),this feels like the first time in a LONG time that Bob Arum will feel completely out of the loop as it pertains to the big picture of boxing. He's essentially left with three fighters who move serious stroke and two of them will arguably never be big PPV movers (Crawford and Lomachenko). The third one is a guy who has seen his stock basically erode in such a tragic fashion in Manny Pacquaio who is fighting some guy in Australia in front of what I'm assuming will be a less than captivated PPV audience. Golden Boy Promotions may be laughable at times when they do things and outright sad when Oscar De La Hoya's continuous struggles with sobriety became public knowledge but they have the biggest active draw in the biz (Canelo), the ability to on paper make a fight with anybody and seemingly good standing with HBO and Showtime as well. They also have an ESPN deal which is SOMETHING at least. Assuming their financial situation can clean itself up somewhat, they've got momentum. As much as we all laugh about the PBC, Al Haymon's obviously got a grip on this sport that's undeniable. European promoters have bigger and bigger hands in the mix, complete with at least one major show a year that does insane gate numbers. Yvon Michel, Lou Dibella and Kathy Duva all feature prominent roles in boxing and so does Arum----but man does it feel like he's sort of out of the loop here. Top Rank feels almost like it's become the forgotten brand of boxing after competing for so many years with the likes of Don King, GBP, Main Events and so on so forth.

Now a lot of this is simply bad luck. A lot of the Top Rank stable at the top half were guys who all fell off at the same time (Pacquaio, Cotto to an extent, Sergio Martinez, Kelly Pavilik, Juan Manuel Lopez, JCC Jr, Nonito Donaire and so on so forth) and even if they weren't PPV movers, they were attention getters. Arum has plenty of great fighters in his stable and he has connections and working relationships with just about everyone but its so weird to see big fights being made and Bob not being apart of the discussion. Over the years, Arum has almost seemed like a guy who did things with an angst for everyone from the media to his own customers and it's such a strange dichotomy to see him almost hanging on the outskirts. Maybe it's a rebuilding year or maybe Top Rank is missing what everyone else seems to be relatively hitting on. It's definitely a weird year so far for the Bobfather.

6- Using that line of logic, I WONDER if Bob would maybe make peace with his hated rival Dana White to try and work together to put together Manny Pacquaio/Conor MCGregor as an acceptable back up plan if Floyd/Conor falls through.

7- SPEAKING of that fight, if GGG vs Canelo legitimately pushes Floyd/Conor out of existence into 2017 and Conor returns to MMA to, ya know, defend his titles? I think we need to put Golovkin and Alvarez in the boxing and UFC Hall of Fame at the same time.

8- I don't know if I should be concerned about this (probably I'm betting) BUT if one of these ABC orgs complicates the fucking picture of this mega fight, I will be writing my congresspeople in protest of such a national catastrophe.

9- There has been scuttlebutt from some folks about the pomp regarding the announcement of Golovkin/Alvarez. Allow me to discuss some anecdotal evidence that may or may not shape a picture for y'all. Friend of mine owns a restaurant that was showing the fight. He told me the house was fuller than usual----but the clientele was not the same as a UFC event or even one of the big WWE events. "Boxing isn't dead but it's fanbase is a dialysis machine away from being dead" was his joke to me and it's something you hear ALL the time. Boxing draws an older audience like pro baseball does,, in fact when Thurman/Mitchell had their AWESOME fight that did an amazing number, the average age of the viewer was trending way close to 55 than ever before. It's an old audience-----and something like this, even if it may be a little too hokey or as I read a few people writing "WWE/UFC esque", it's still something different. Maybe it fails but there's NOTHING wrong with appealing to a younger crowd that's all into cool video packages and shock value. You can do it once or twice and it won't hurt the legitimacy of boxing if such a concept even exists. Just watch the fight if the wackiness offends you.

And let's furthermore be 100% honest here. Canelo as an A side and Golovkin as an A side have NEVER done seriously big business in comparison to Floyd or Manny or Oscar or so on so forth. Without Floyd or Cotto (a proven A lister with the benefit of a Mexico/PR buzz), it's believed Canelo has topped out at 450K (I trust Iole over Dan Rafael on the Khan number) with other shows like Angulo, Lara and Smith all dancing between 250K and 375K or so. A far cry from Floyd and Manny were either actively toppling or dancing around 1M PPV buys. Golovkin's PPV offerings have been really, really, really poor for a fighter who is all action, has the big fight mystique and is the darling of hardcore fans and casual TV viewers alike. We love to believe styles make fights and all that but sometimes you gotta try big for big fights. You have to put a little effort into this game because contrary to popular belief for most boxing scribes, putting Canelo and GGG on a poster and shouting "SO BUY IT!" is not going to work. This is the biggest fight boxing can make at this time-----so it needs to do really well and really well is not 600K or below. This should sell 1,000,000 PPVs. Let's fucking try to promote this thing like it can accomplish that.

10- One thing which came up recently was the idea that JCC Jr finessed the boxing audience for his entire career and I find that grossly unfair. Dude debuted with no amateur fight experience and Arum had him basically main eventing like 20 fights into his career vs fighters who were at the time way better than he was. JCC Jr is a victim of his name and in some ways his own laziness but you know what?  The attempt to make him a superstar did him no favors either.

[lurkch]

Look The Other Way

Pairing: Leonard McCoy x Reader

Beta: None. You have been warned. :P

Warnings: None that I’m aware of.

Word count: 1978

A/N: This is for @outside-the-government‘s Winter Blues Challenge (Rules Here | Challenge Masterlist Here). My prompt is in bold.

"Explain to me why you skipped coming to see me about this and went straight to this alternative horseshit?" Dr. Leonard McCoy asked you, pulling the curtain back from around the bio bed, the rings scraping against the bar as he flung it closed behind him.

"Don't yell at me," you said between clenched teeth from where you were sitting on the bio bed. Seriously, the day was bad enough. Yelling at this point was just unnecessary cruelty.

"I yell because I care, dammit," he said, quieter than before but certainly nowhere near a regular speaking voice as he approached the bio bed.

"Well, care a little more quietly. I've gone blind, not deaf."  

You could hear the whirring of the tricorder and the movement of air around your face as he waved the device around, assessing your vision. What you couldn't do was see, not that it was remotely necessary in order to imagine the look on his face.

"What the Hell were you thinking?" He growled at you. There was a pause while he presumably assessed the tricorders readings. "Goddamn snake oil energy booster horseshit."

"I was thinking I'd avoid a lecture by the pissiest doctor in the 'Fleet." You crossed your arms over your chest in an effort to look angry, rather than scared shitless because halfway through your shift your vision had started to blur, and since then it had deteriorated further so that all you saw was a dull smear of shadows and light. Now even that was fading.

"Yeah? How's that workin' out for ya?" His voice came from a different point from when he'd last spoken. Somewhere around the meds cabinet. You turned your head to where you thought he was before answering.

"Not well, thanks for asking." You flinched as there was an unannounced sting against your neck as he suddenly reappeared and injected a hypospray. You winced and narrowed your eyes at where you thought he was. He was most definitely pissed if he didn't even warn you given that he knew damn well you had a dislike for medical treatment.

"Going to tell me what that was? It's not like it's my body or anything."

"Oh, now you care what's in your body? Pity you didn't think about that earlier when you were making yourself blind."

"But it's so hard to do something stupid if you take the time to stop and think about it."

"What're you laughing at," McCoy said, his voice directed away from you. There was muffled laughter, probably from the nurses station, that stopped abruptly. "If I figure out who's snickerin' behind my back I'll put them on biohazard detail for the rest of the mission so I suggest y'all shush. Now."

There were a few more snickers followed by the swish of a pneumatic door. Probably decided on an impromptu coffee break until the coast was clear. You wished fervently that you could go with them.

"Lay down," he commanded. Usually that was the kind of order that made you wet and was followed by a whole lot of hands on doctoring in his quarters. Today was not usual. The bio bed shook as he punched at the controls furiously.

"I think we caught it in time. At least you had the good goddamn sense to say something right away."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Is it what the Hell I see in you? 'Cause I'm beginning to wonder myself."

"Jesus, Leonard. I know losing my eyesight is hard for you but can you trying being a little less of an asshole until I can see well enough to walk away? Your bedside manner is really starting to piss me off."

There was a long silence and then he sighed deeply. "I'll have Chapel check on you every once in a while. Let her know if you need anything."

The swish of the bio bed curtain followed, leaving you to listen to the assorted beeps of the Medbay, awash in the scent of antiseptic and the feel of the coarse bio bed sheet, and try your very best not to feel abandoned.

You tried to quell that little seed of terror that was always planted when you were at the mercy of medical personnel, but in spite of yourself it took root in the pit of your stomach, inexorably making its way towards your throat. You clenched your hands on the sheet and tried to force the terror back through sheer force of will but the effort made your eyes tear. When you opened them to try to blink back the tears you realized that your vision had gone completely black and the best you could manage was to cry quietly and hope no one could hear you.

The sound of someone pulling back the curtain around your bed startled you. You must have drifted off because your face felt tight from your dried tears.

"I brought you a warming blanket." It was a woman's voice, probably Christine Chapel. At least Leonard hadn't come back to keep yell at you. "It gets cold when you're not moving around in here."

You felt a warmth envelop you as she spread the blanket over you, putting the control in your hand and showing you how to adjust it.

"Can I get you anything?"

You shook your head no, fresh tears welling up behind your eyelids. Your efforts to keep them from spilling over where in vain and you could feel them running down your face.

"Are you okay? Does it hurt?" Christine's gentle questions were enough to push you over the edge, and you started sobbing in spite of yourself, feeling like an absolute idiot for not being able to hold it together, which only made you feel worse and sob harder.

"I can't see," you said when you could manage to speak again. Taking the tissue Christine placed in your hand and wiping your face. Your eyes were starting to throb.

"I know it's hard," she said, taking the tissue from you and giving you another one as fresh tears welled in your eyes.

"Is it supposed to be getting worse though? I can't see at all anymore." You heard a hitch in Christine's breathing, and then her hand on your face steadying your head.

"Let me take a look," she said. You opened your eyes and waited as she examined your eyes, following the directions to look straight ahead, up and down, left and right. After a moment, she took her hand away, handing you yet another tissue. "I'll be right back."

You shivered under the warming blanket, trying not to panic as you heard Christine go into Leonard's office, the door swishing shut after her and blocking out any of their conversation.

Shit. You'd really fucked up this time. Leonard was right, you were a complete and utter idiot for not just telling him you had too much work and instead trying to stay awake longer to squeeze in studying, working, and training using that energy booster crap one of the engineers swore was harmless. You knew better and you did it anyway.

The swish of the curtain and Leonard's hand on your arm startled you out of the pit of despair your mind had been digging. He went through the same exam that Christine had just done. You could hear the sound of his voice and hers but even though they were right next too you, you just couldn't process the sounds to get meaning from them as you focused on just trying to breathe as panic threatened to asphyxiate you.

There was a pinch on your arm and gradually the panic melted away and you could focus on the world around you again, the low level anxiety churning your stomach made you feel ill but otherwise kept to itself.

"How'r ya doin'," Leonard asked, his hand finding yours under the blanket and squeezing gently.

"M'okay." You felt like you were floating and detached from your body. Your mouth wasn't working right either. "Drugged me, you bastard."

"Yeah, had to. The anxiety was raising your blood pressure and making things worse. I need to put some drops in your eyes. Think I can do that without them getting washed out?"

"Mmm. 'Sss." Your eyelids drifted shut. So tired. "Hole," you finally said, remembering to finish your word. You heard Leonard asking Christine how much she had given you. He sounded amused and you just wanted to smack him but your arms felt like lead so you just glared at him until you remember it wasn't very effective with your eyes closed so why bother. — The next time you woke, Medbay sounded crowded, lots of conversations and movement. No one was yelling or screaming though. Shift change, you decided, rather than emergency. Great. Did anyone even remember you were here?

"Welcome back, sleepyhead," Leonard said from right beside you. The rhythm of the bio bed increased as you remembered why you were here and tried to open your eyes. You felt his hand on your arm and one on your jaw line, brushing away fresh tears that had sprung up.

"You're fine, I promise," he whispered in your ear. He tucked a tissue in your hand and you felt a weight being lifted off your eyes—an eye mask. "Open your eyes."

You opened your eyes but everything was a dull grey smear. A lighter spot moved across your vision and then disappeared. Leonard replaced the face mask.

"It might take a day or two, but your vision will come back," Leonard said, settling in again beside you from the distance of his voice and the creak of the chair. "How do you feel about getting out of here?"

"How'm I supposed to do that? Can't see for shit, remember," you mumbled.

"Well, the only reason to keep you here is to keep your anxiety down and make sure you can take care of yourself. I'm willing to bet you'd have less anxiety in either your quarters or mine as long as someone's there."

You felt Leonard move closer, his breath tickling your ear. "You know, when you lose one sense, you become more aware of the others. Like touch. I can promise you one Hell of an apology if you'll let me, Darlin'."

Well, shit. There it was. That tone that made you want to spread your legs and take him in, no matter how fucking pissed off you were with him five seconds earlier. You had a love/hate relationship with that voice and he knew it.

"I sorry I vented my anger at you. And I'm sorry I didn't take your white-coat anxiety into account." He massaged the tense muscles at the crook of your neck and waited for your verdict. "It makes me anxious when you get hurt, you know."

"It better be a good apology," you muttered, pushing yourself up and letting him push the blanket aside and help you sit up on the bio bed.

He helped you down, briefly holding you against him when you stood up so that he could whisper in your ear but no one else could hear. "I'll spend all night apologizin' if necessary."

"Oh, it's going to be necessary," you said, swaying a bit as he let go. Staying upright without eyesight was not as easy as you thought.

He pressed his lips to yours briefly, but you kept your mouth closed when he tried to deepen the kiss. "You're really gonna make me work for this aren't ya," he said against your lips.

"Absolutely."

"It's a good thing I find you sexy when you're angry."

"That's going to cost you."

"I'm always willin' to pay, Darlin'." He pulled back the curtain around the bio bed and guided you out. "I have the feelin' tonight's going to be expensive."

[caseyvalhalla]

3, 7, 23, 31, 41, 45, 50 Sorry if there are any doubles! :)

No problem at all! It looks like I hit 23 on the last post so I'll do the rest. Here goes~

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

I'm really, really fond of the hxh fandom, especially the leopika subdivision of it. Like. Everyone I have met here is made of spun sugar and hugs. We just really want the otp to be together and happy and conduct prayer circles for Togashi's health and for Kurapika to answer his phone. It's a very nice and comfortable place and I want to stay here for as long as I can.

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

Eh, I don't think I really have NoTPs in the traditional sense that "if I see this on my dash I will start frothing at the mouth," partially because if there's a ship I'm not into I tend to not follow people who are into it, and also because if there's a ship I'm not into it's just that--I'm just not into it. I might dislike it for Reasons, I might not understand it, sometimes it might be annoying, but I don't actively hate it or want to kill it with fire. That just seems like it takes up a lot of energy I could be putting into fic or other content.

That said, mickeyriku is the one ship that I actually have blacklisted and y'all need to go to church.

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

A couple of people in the past have described my writing as "cinematic" and that's still my favorite thing that anyone has ever said.

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading

(these are all yoi hahaha)

Dancing Daffodils by @graycloudsIn Our Dreams by @phoenixwallerMasquerade by Ashidasolo and pair by @calciseptineficwhen the ice melts in the snow (that's when you'll love me) by lilithiumwords

45. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

At this point I would probably recommend a thousand miles wandering because... well, for one, it's complete. It's also substantial at nearly 20k, and it probably best represents where I am as a writer right now, in terms of skill and development and what kind of stories I like to tell.

It's also the first big bang I participated in and successfully completed so I'm pretty proud of that.

50. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

The thing I love and have always loved about fanfic is the community that grows up around it. I love how accessible it is to people (myself included) who might otherwise struggle to socialize or find common ground with other people who share their oddball niche interests. When you write fanfiction, you immediately connect with an entire network of people who love the same thing that you love, and a couple of those people will work their way back through the network to talk to you about the thing that you both love and maybe also about writing, or this other thing they just noticed that you also love, that they also love.

And then suddenly you have friends. And this will never stop being amazing to me.