#like which isnt to say we arent friends anymore or we'll never hang out again

[dogfags]

kinda sad that like me & my ex roommate / old best friend pretty much got closure & resolved whatever issues we had with each other but then still. kinda just don't talk and haven't hung out since everything happened. and like it does make me sad bc she was my best friend and we lived together for years but I also. have completely outgrown that entire friend group and am no longer interested in the things we used to do together that we were both into at the time. we don't really have much in common anymore. I mean there are some things we do share in common but idk. meeting all of Chris's friends last night and having a little trauma dumping sesh (lol) made me realize how much I've changed in such a short amount of time. since being properly medicated and moving out and becoming kinda more independent. I told Chris's friends a lot of what happened with my ex & that friend and they were all so kind to me and like sweet and understanding. and I really feel like I am making new friends in these people which is insane bc I have such a hard time making friends I feel like. but no I've made genuine real connections with the people at work now, the people at school as well, and now Chris's friends consider me their friend too ?? like damn I guess I am fully capable of making friends and connections. I am a charismatic likeable person with my own personality that people Enjoy being around. it's wild. and all it took was getting the correct diagnosis and being put on the right meds. and moving out and finding Chris ofc. Chris honestly has done so much for me already and it's wild to me how much I have just let myself be mistreated by partners. like even tho we started talking in the worst of circumstances he still was like no I want to be with u and explore my feelings for u. I just appreciate him so much and it's crazy how much healthier I am now mentally. I had a whole identity crisis over not rly being in that friend group anymore and I'm now coming out the other side of it feeling more Myself™ and like I've met people who really understand me. I still miss my old friend and maybe we will hang out or something some time. idk. I'm probably gunna just wait for her to reach out bc ik she just moved and is probably still settling. plus idk how her bf feels about me now lol. I am so glad I've finally like moved on from that relationship with my ex tho and I'm not tied to them at all anymore and I can just leave all of that bullshit behind me. I love my Chris so much and I feel more loved & accepted by him and also his friends than I ever have before in my life. it's so cool to finally meet people Like Me. also at Chris's party it was so wholesome and fun like we just chatted and played games and there wasn't weed or alcohol which is such a Virgin Loser thing of me to say but omg it's so nice being around people at a party without having to be the only person who isn't high or drunk 😭 transitions are hard but I feel like I'm levelling up in my life rn. which isn't to knock my old friends. i just am not interested in that lifestyle anymore and it's ok that they are. it's just nice to find people who understand me now