#like what the fuck!! that's so good!!!! who put this trauma in my camp vampire series!! My 14yo ass was FLOORED

[bumblebeebats]

One thing that I really admire in long-form storytelling is when the writers/showrunners/etc. aren't afraid to make Big and Permanent Changes. There are so many series that I've eventually fallen out of love with simply because everything stays the SAME - no one ages, no one dies, no character arcs feel like they're ever really resolved. Sure, maybe shit gets shaken up for an arc or two, but eventually everything returns to the status quo. It feels like being fed the same dish over and over again; you liked this in S1, so surely you want the exact same thing now in S7???

And like, I can SEE where it's coming from. A story is a huge and finely-tuned machine, and it takes guts to just throw a wrench in the works, especially if your audience loved it the way it was to begin with. Any change, even the good kind (going off to college! Getting that job you wanted!) comes with grief. (What about your family - your friends - that old corner store across from your house with the ice cream you loved? That one coworker who you were kind-of-sort-of buddies with, but not enough to properly stay in touch?) But that's just life. And that's why I feel like I connect far more with stories that actually evolve, and show their characters evolving with them. Your mother dies. Your best friend loses their magic. You lose your sword arm. Your home burns down. None of it is coming back. The old times were good - but the new times can be good too, in a different way.

[quidfree]

accidentally deleted this ask but for the anon asking what my gripes were with iwtv’s finale / this season:

look i love this show. ive never read the books* and i thoroughly enjoyed the one time i watched the movie mostly bc of tom cruise and kirsten dunst acting circles around bradd pitt. the show to me really elevates the material, it has phenomenal writing, the acting is obviously stellar, i think it does a great job at being that dark gothic romance that is both deeply tragic and fucked up and funny etc etc.

a key element of the adaptation is evidently that they have recontexualised the characters in ways that both add depth and nuance to them. when we meet him louis is a black gay man in a deeply racist and homophobic setting who hardens himself to survive and rise above as much as he can. claudia is a young black woman who has always faced societal violence and neglect because of this. armand’s whole arc as an exploited and fetishised child whose trauma has become his identity is also encased in colonial violence. i’m not from the communities they are so i can’t speak for everyone, but i think for the most part the show is pretty good at having these changes enrich the show and acknowledge what an impact this has on dynamics and the characters. s1 explicitly addresses how lestat handwaves away the racism louis experiences as something he can just overcome because he’s a vampire now, how lestat himself plays into racist imbalances of power in his patriarchal relationship in their home esp wrt claudia, how he goes to capture claudia on the train being portrayed to echo a slave-catcher, etc. s2 has the trial obviously set up like a lynching (claudia says so much herself), with lestat’s testimony framing the two black people he abused as the aggressors and himself as the victim, and even when lestat is genuinely apologetic and remorseful it’s because he’s allowed his tears and victimhood while louis and claudia are not. all this to say there is obviously lot of conscious thought that goes into the way the characters’ races feed into the show and the story and it oftentimes is very effective, as well as aware of audience perceptions of the characters and how the irl audience’s own biases might need addressing.

unfortunately for me there are two aspects of s2 that i feel are kind of outliers in this regard, and not in a way that makes sense/feels intentionally uncomfortable to me. 1) is madeline’s backstory, and 2) is the change of having armand actually have been plotting to murder both louis and claudia at the trial, and lestat have been the one to save louis.

1) to me is just really… weird. i feel like i know why they wrote her that way. it makes madeline a ~morally grey character~ by default so she fits in with the rest of the cast, and there is an element to the very real misogynistic vitriol and violence post-ww2 directed at french women even falsely accused of having slept with the invading nazi occupiers that feels very in line with the things the show likes to examine and point to as examples of plain old human barbarism and othering. but the way they present it in the show, unquestioned, not as a dubious survival tactic or a multi-faceted situation but an actual love story that madeline has no remorse for, is very off-putting to me. madeline is not louis and claudia who ignore the atrocities of the war because those are human affairs and they are no longer human but supernatural monsters. madeline is a normal person whose peers- jewish people, queer people (surely her own community), political dissidents of any kind- have been put down like dogs throughout the occupation, sent to prison camps at best and death camps at worst, and she never even has a line of dialogue addressing conflicting feelings about this? no one ever challenges her on it? the people painting nazi symbols on her shop are consistently framed as villainous? it just feels weird to me that claudia’s “weird white lady” has this saccharine romance with her, a black woman, without the show ever exploring any friction in that dynamic given madeline’s apparently uncomplicated nazi romance. madeline being a femme tondue is a great idea, but the execution leaves to be desired imo.

2) … oh boy. i feel like i’m wading into discourse here bc i’ve seen really confrontational takes on this, esp a lot of “responses to” people who didn’t like this change, where this is presented as those people being dumb babies who are blinded by their liking of armand and don’t Understand The Show. im sure there are those of which this is true (and ppl have explained better than me how antiblackness feeds into everyone jumping into ship wars and defense of louis’ abusive partners in general) but also it feels very reductive of some valid questions people have. people can argue the change is consistent with armand’s characterisation, which, sure, even though i feel like it feels a little flimsy / contradictory for armand to finally Choose The Coven and allow for them to execute louis but then go feed him blood and allow him to revenge-kill all of them immediately afterwards, etc. i don’t mind characters being More Evil on the Evil Vampire show.

my bigger question is why this change was made. bc my sense is that the change is less about armand than it is about lestat, and specifically setting the stage for the loustat reconciliation, and i do not love that. it’s one thing to make it so armand wanted to kill louis too, just for the extra drama of daniel’s reveal and scale of his betrayal, another push for louis to leave. it’s another to make it so lestat was the heroic captive who not only was forced to be there by armand as per but also bravely exerted the limits of his strength to save louis from execution and then nobly didn’t tell him about this. these are both monstrous vampires who have abused and betrayed louis in their own ways (armand has already orchestrated claudia’s death and kept louis in a purportedly protective mind prison for decades! that’s betrayal enough! you could even have armand originally want to kill louis too and then change his mind!), so why at this juncture choose to have lestat save louis in a move that was originally armand’s? just from the way the audience (fandom and casual watchers) is reacting it makes me wonder if the showrunners were just oblivious to how much this worsens people’s takes of armand (the brown man) being the “real villain” and lestat (the white man) being the redeemed self-sacrificing figure. i’m sure people will say this is placing too much weight on race blah blah blah but it was so jarring to me and the change in viewer attitudes so immediate that it left a really bad taste in my mouth.

inb4 the inevitable: i actually really liked the loustat reunion in the finale! i don’t hate loustat! i like all of the dynamics between all of the characters, albeit my favourite louis ship is louis x therapy (an obvious inference from my favourite character being daniel lmao). this is not a change that i hate because i’m a bitter lestat hater. i have no issue with armand doing bad things, episode 5 was my favourite episode! i just think this particular choice was weird, and felt kind of thoughtless in the service of speedrunning a lestat hero role in advance of his season.

i have other less tangential complaints but overall i think this is a great season of television. these are just two points that stood out to me as being handled with less grace than i expect of iwtv.

*i just started reading the first book today on the airplane so. we’ll see how that goes. book loustat is so funny compared to the show. book 1 louis hates his ass 😭

[one-night-story]

I Used “Wonderful” and “Miracle” (Astarion)

A/N: I saw this post and couldn’t stop thinking about it. Sans the mention of my Tav’s name (Riona) you can imagine anyone. Enjoy!

Summary: Life among the bloodshed is a pleasent surprise

“Riona!” Astarion called out and I dropped my head to my chest. Never a good sign when Astarion needed me with that level of franticness.

“Yes, star?”I asked as I looked up from one of the books Gale had let me borrow. Astarion looked… well frenetic was probably the best word for it but as per usual, he was trying to cover for it.

“I might have a… minor hiccup for our journey.”

“How minor?” I asked with an eyebrow raise. I was already traveling with a vampire, a time bomb, a devil, and someone on fire. And that wasn’t even mentioning the fucking tadpoles, so minor had become… subjective.

“Well, I don’t think it will kill us, but it could be viewed as an inconvenience.” I held back an eye roll as I put a bookmark in my book, shutting it with finality.

“What is it?”

“It might be easier if I show you,” he said.

“This better not end with a knife at my throat again.”

“Never,” Astarion said and led me in the direction of his tent. It was only now that I noticed his unusual lack of shadow.

Belladonna, or simply Bell, was one of the handful of creatures who lived in camp. She, as far as Gale and Halsin could figure, was just a regular old cat who, by some miracle, took a shine to Astarion, following him around and keeping him company. At first he’d been indignant, trying to convince the cat to leave and trying to scare it. But when it hadn’t worked (and Gale named her) he reluctantly allowed the cat to stay. She’d been a welcome addition and Scratch and Screech treated her well.

“Where’s Bell?” I asked.

“That’s why I’ve brought you,” he said, pushing his tent flap open. I glanced at him and he just gestured inside.

I started my way in and finally saw his problem.

When Bell had come to us, she’d been a little pudgy, but we wrote it off as her being fluffy or as her having been well taken care of before she found herself to our mismatched family.

Staring at her now with… shit, eight kittens, it appeared that prior assumptions had not been the case and she had, in fact, been very pregnant. I tried to keep my heart from melting at the sight, I understood why Astarion had been nervous. The eight (ha, that felt like fate) of us could barely take care of ourselves let alone Bell and her newborns.

“When did this happen?” I asked.

“Sometime between when I got up this morning and when you dismissed us after figuring out our rest day duties.” Astarion replied. I looked down at Bell who poked her head up and let out a little chirp of a meow.

“What do you wanna do, star?” I asked.

“That’s why I called you over!” He huffed and I tried not to chuckle at his frustration, even if it was deeply amusing.

“Wouldn’t it have been more productive to call Halsin over? Y’know, the one who can talk to her?” I asked with a chuckle that couldn’t help escape. Astarion furrowed his brow and I refused to call the look on his face a pout, lest I be accused of favoritism.

“Yes, well,” he hesitated for a second and chose his words, “I wanted to… well..”

“Star?” I asked softly, even with this camp’s collection of traumas bouncing off each other like children’s toys, Astarion always had a different tightrope to walk. “We’re not gonna make you give her up,” I said.

“What, she’s not,”

“Star, she’s permanently at your side and sleeps in your tent, in spite of Gale’s attempt to sway her away. She’s yours. Lemme go get Hal, to make sure everyone’s healthy, then we’ll talk about how to move everyone when it comes time, okay?” I offered my hand up, a small act of affection so as not to overwhelm him (we were still working on that) and he took it, squeezing it once.

“Thank you,” he said softly. I smiled and squeezed it back before ducking out of his tent and in search of our local druid. I found him by the river near our campsite.

“Hey Hal, got a free minute?”

“Of course, what can I do?”

“Bell was pregnant,”

“Ah,”

“And we want to make sure mom and kittens are healthy,” I said.

“Of course, show me the way,” I led Halsin to Astarion’s tent and that caught Karlach’s attention.

“What’s all the commotion eh?”

“Bell had kittens,” I said. Astarion gave me a look of disapproval but it was quickly distracted by Karlach’s squee of glee.

“Really?!”

“Really,” Halsin called from inside the tent. “Eight of them.”

“EIGHT!?” Karlach and Astarion said simultaneously.

“Did you not count them?” I asked Astarion.

“Excuse me, I was in shock!” He huffed. I couldn’t help but smile a little at his dramatics.

“What’s the verdict Hal?” I asked. He poked his head out of the tent.

“For an unassisted birth, they’re all perfectly healthy. Bell seems fine, but you might want to get a new bedroll.” He said.

“You’re joking,”

“Unless you want to sleep in blood and…”

“Alright!” Astarion said. He wandered into the tent as Karlach and I stood at the entrance. He went over and gave Bell a scratch under her chin, her purs could’ve probably been heard on the Astral Plane. “A little warning next time, could you darling?” He asked her. He received a small meow in response and some confused kitten chirps.

“Oh my gods look at them!” Karlach beamed, “they’re so small!” I looked over to see the rest of the camp coming over where I explained the situation with ease. Those who wanted to see the little ones (Gale, Shadowheart, and Wyll) came into the tent and I stepped out with Astarion for a second.

“If you want, you can crash with me for a bit until the kittens are up on their own.” I said off-handedly, not directly looking at him, just sort of looking at the camp as a whole.

“Darling,” he said, lilt leaning into the word so much I was afraid he’d fall over, “how scandalous,” he said.

“Don’t be weird,”

“I would never,” he said and I risked a glance out of the side of my eye, finding him looking at me with his performed grin but warm eyes. “I will… consider your offer. Thank you darling,”

“Don’t mention it, better than trying to bunk with anyone else,” I joked. He took my hand and squeezed it once, and gained one from me back.

[resbangmod]

Resbang 2021 Promo #20

low blow, sweet chariot

presented by author: @marshofsleep​ with artist: @Lili the Fangirl

Pairings: Jacq/Kim, Ox/Harv, Kilik/Liz. Mentioned/implied: Soul/Maka, Tsu/Liz, Kilik/Harv Rating: R/ M Warnings: Violence, mild gore, nudity, language, suggestive sexual undertones, trauma

Summary: What little civility that was happening between you takes an immediate swandive. Leaning back into the couch, she says, “You are worthless to me, E’clair. The moment I’m back in my body I’m going to force feed you ice cream until you die--” Thank god, this is something you can handle. “Keep it up, I’ll rub your face on some gym equipment or something. Get you the really good acne.” A bodyswap fic.

Please enjoy the story and art previews below the cut!

[ 🥚 ]

Suddenly the jeering and laughter and stupid Nintendo noises feel juvenile and obnoxious -- you just want to trash everything, toss the ice cream cake off the balcony, kick a hole in the TV, rip apart the couch with your teeth and bury everyone in scattered cushion polyfill.

Jack catches a whiff of your wavelength or something, because she glances over her left shoulder, finding you standing off to one side, holding some stolen food while wishing you could cast a teleportation spell on yourself and go home.

The juvenile one is you, wanting to throw a tantrum in the middle of a kids’ birthday party. You huff, get over yourself, and go stand at her left side, your shoulders lightly brushing. Because the egg meant for her ended up with Liz, you offer her one of yours, which is basically a marriage proposal. “Spoils from the enemy camp,” you say.

She thanks you and accepts it. You’re now married for the 300th time. And then Jack takes a careful step to the right, putting distance between you as she eats.

You’ve been side-stepped. It was so smooth too, like she was only respectfully giving you some space. Jack leans a bit over the couch and asks, “Did you make the devilled eggs, Ox?” as if she hadn’t avoided you in the most blatant display of ‘no-homo’ in the universe.

Avoided! The only reason Jacqueline Dupree became your partner in the first place was because avoiding you was the one thing she refused to do!

Ox tilts his head back, then reaches up for his glasses to push those back up too. His eyes do that half-second flicker -- Soul Perception he doesn’t realize he’s using -- then finds you in the middle of an existential crisis. “You look nice tonight, Kimial.”

His lameness brings you to your senses. “Can it.”

[ ⚡ ]

It is still considered one of the great mysteries of Death City that a guy who regularly shows up on assignment with his t-shirt wrong side out can adequately raise two child-sized forces of nature. But Fire and Thunder are well-behaved under his care, which is good. Good for them.

However, when Rung isn’t there, and a pair of powerful shamans are pissed because their meister is giving attention to his girlfriend instead of them, a minimum of four adults are required to babysit Fire and Thunder -- preferably ranked two-star or higher. And with good health insurance.

So it’s not like there’s anyone else Rung can call. You can’t top a healing witch, fire and lightning weapons, and a guy who actually respects curfews for damage control. Of course it’s the rest of the B-team who has to watch his kids.

...They’re not even really kids, that’s what gets you. Thunder is at least five-hundred. You aren’t convinced she and Fire aren’t simply fucking with everyone and pretending to be innocent first-graders as an excuse to be lawless. Which is cheating. You’re not allowed to blow shit up when you’re in a bad mood just because your meister likes someone else.

On the subject of moods, you can nearly hear a rant simmering under Ox’s sweater-vest.

“I know, man, I get it. But we kinda spontaneously--” and at the very mention of spontaneity, Ox makes a noise not unlike a vampire hissing at the sun “--decided to go out tonight ‘cause I got a mission and I dunno how long it’ll be, right?”

The rant dissipates and Ox looks askance at the game box. “But I had plans,” he says, and it might be just a little plaintive, which stirs your last two braincells into a frenzy. Ox is doing a sad, they shriek, as if you have any idea what to do about it.

He looks up at you then, like he too is imploring you to do something. Behind the coke-bottle glasses, his eyes do that thing that means he’s gauging your wavelength, and your heart thumps off-kilter because whatever he sees there seems to steel him. Maybe he really will tell Rung to eat shit and defend the sanctity of game night -- a night spent uninterrupted with a side order of a legitimately nice charcuterie board because your meister has the spirit of a middle aged woman who treats herself right.

You already know he won’t, though. Of the two of you, you’re the stone-cold bastard. Ox is the warm-hearted one.

He grabs a bit of dried fruit, grumbling while he angrily chews. “You owe us so much for this.”

Us, repeat the braincells. He means him and his glasses, you insist, because admitting to yourself that you exist will make you overload or something.

[jacaranda-bloom]

October Fic Rec

I’ve been super slack in doing my monthly fic recs of late (sorry!) so this list covers the last 3 months and there’s lots of lovely fics to devour!

In this instalment, there are fics from @lesbianiconharrystyles @kingsofeverything @mediawhorefics @lululawrence @harryanthus @evilovesyou @fallinglikethis @cocoalou @gaycousinlarry @comebackassholes @daggerandrose @allwaswell16 @sadaveniren @all-these-larrythings @wait4ever @jaerie @laynefaire @harrybridgers and @missandrogyny.

Thank you to all the writers for sharing their wonderful talent with us. Please don’t forget to leave kudos and a comment if you enjoy their work. 💜

New Reads

💜 Ever Since I Tried Your Way | @lesbianiconharrystyles / flowercrownfemme | E | 26k | June 2020 | 1940′s/50′s, farm/ranch, farmer Louis, farmer Harry, virgin Harry, gay cowboys, repression, internalised homophobia, hurt/comfort, gender exploration, marriage kink, feminisation, romantic face shaving, body worship, country music | As soon as I started this fic I knew it wouldn’t be able to put it down. It’s just... gosh. The writing is stunning and I was completely immersed from the first page to the last.

💜 Have Love, Will Travel | @kingsofeverything | E | 97k | Sept 2020 | road trip, camping, friends to lovers, smut, humour, youtube, POV Louis, slow burn | God, this story was everything I wanted it to be and so much more. Amazing relationship building and great communication. Hilarious, brilliant dialogue, heartwarming.

💜 Love You In The Dark | Perzikje | E | 10k | Oct 2020 | wedding night, arranged marriage, smut, dubious consent | Sexual exploration and first times. Check authors note.

💜 All These Lights | @mediawhorefics | E | 35k | Nov 2015 | ABO, X Factor, consensual under age sex, omega Harry, alpha Louis, angst with a happy ending, smut | I’m a sucker for a good ABO fic and this one didn’t disappoint.

💜 I Go Down Blazing, Feeling Like I’m Going Crazy (series) | @lululawrence | NR | 30k | Niall / Rory McIlroy | Oct 2020 | soulmates, famous/famous, singer Niall, golfer Rory, pining, diet angst, no smut, heartbreak weather, based on Dear Patience and Bend The Rules | This was my first time reading Niall/Rory and I adored it. Brilliant take on the soulmate trope too, heartwarming and tender. 

💜 Who Do You Burn For | @harryanthus | NR | 4k | Oct 2020 | strangers to lovers, implied/referenced drug use, references to addition | I am such a massive fan of this author and I will inhale anything they publish. More like poetry than prose. So evocative.

💜 Point. Drop, Call. | @evilovesyou / 4ureyesonly28 | G | 1.6k | Jan 2020 | summer, best friends, summer romance, first kiss, party games, mutual crushes, coming out | This was absolutely adorable and managed to provide a whole-ass story in 1,610 words. All the summer feels.

💜 Eat Your Vegetables | bananaheathen | M | 9k | Aug 2020 | soccer player Louis, nutritionist Harry, shopping, banter, sexual realisation, smut | This fic sucked me in from the very first page, so much so that when I went back to grab the link to add to this post I ended up re-reading the entire thing. So witty and sweet and all the goodness in the world.

💜 For Wanting | anonymous | E | 5k | Oct 2020 | post mpreg Louis, male lactation, body worship, lactation kink, strangers to lovers, neighbours, dirty talk | Really sweet and hot, beautifully written. 

💜 Pillow Talk | @fallinglikethis | E | 26k | Feb 2016 | friends to lovers, sexuality crisis, first time, mutual pining | I have no idea how I’ve never read this fic. Such a clever plot and perfectly delivered. Hot and funny and sweet and all the loveliness.

💜 The End | @harryanthus | T | 5k | Aug 2020 | post-war, selectively mute Louis, soldier Harry, psychological trauma, hopeful ending, non-specific time period | This is everything I usually avoid reading but this writer’s words just do something to my brain and I let down all of my protective barriers and dive in not caring about what I’m going to be faced with. I’m yet to be disappointed. When I read their fics I always feel like I’m floating or drowning or... I don’t even know how to describe it, but yeah. Wow.

💜 The Anticipation of Knowing You | @cocoalou / sweetrevenge | T | 13k | Sept 2020 | strangers to lovers, neighbours, pen pals, love letters, baked goods as a wooing technique | This was all kinds of lovely and funny and sweet. The premise is brilliant and I understand that we’re to be blessed with parts 2 and 3 in the near future, so yay!

💜 It’s Halftime. Are You Ready To Go? | @gaycousinlarry / momentofclarity | E | 12k | Oct 2017 | friends to lovers, awkward boners, pining, banter, flirting, dirty talk, body worship, smut, watching football as a seduction technique, Niall texts Harry terrible sporting innuendos to make him sweat, jockstraps | So fucking good. Sexy and cute and funny. Could read this one again and again.

💜 Salvation Let’s Their Wings Unfold | twoshipstiedup | M | 14k | May 2019 | angels and demons, heaven and hell, angel Louis, demon Harry, humour, fluff, romance | So much love for this fic. Way less heavy than the tags suggest. Niall is both supremely unhelpful and the captain of the ship as always. Fluffy and fun and romantic.

💜 Dom Louis (series) | @comebackassholes / dimpled_halo | E | 12k | Mar 2020 | dom Louis, sub Marcel, BDSM, kink negotiation | God. This series is amazing. Hot and sweet and nnnrrgggh. Really hope we get more in this universe.

💜 For You I’d Bleed Myself Dry | @daggerandrose / amomentoflove | E | 50k | May 2019 | vampire Louis, human Harry, soulmates, king Louis, angst, depression, blood drinking, past abuse, past kidnapping | I absolutely loved this fic. Beautifully written and so thick with emotion. Check tags, summary and author notes.

💜 Interview With The Vampire | @allwaswell16 | E | 4k | Louis / Robert Pattinson | Sept 2020 | ABO, omega Louis, alpha Rob, journalist Louis, actor, Rob, interviews, humour, bad cooking, bad flirting, scenting, knotting, smut | The rare pair I never knew I needed. Wow. Brilliantly told story. Cute and cheeky and fluffy and hot. Loved it.

💜 Fellowship of Eroda | @sadaveniren | E | 5k | Feb 2020 | dungeons and dragons, gaming, hate to love, BDSM, face slapping, facials, wrestling, choking, spanking, Louis is a brat, so is Harry a bit | Adored this. Such a clever plot and the writing is amazing as always.

💜 Brooklyn Saw Me | alreadyhome | E | 29k | Nov 2017 | homeless Louis, uni student Harry, no-graphic violence, homophobia, angst, slow burn, hurt/comfort, NYC | Painfully beautiful and so well written. Loved it from start to finish.

💜 It Feels Different When You’re With Me | @all-these-larrythings / rearviewdreamer | M | 45k | May 2020 | deaf Louis, sign language instructor Harry, slow burn, mentions of major character injury in the past | God. This fic is amazing. Gorgeous writing and so romantic and sweet.

💜 You’re Music To My Eyes | @fallinglikethis @wait4ever / recycledstardust | T | 6k | July 2020 | blind Louis, Be My Eyes app, volunteer Harry, TPWK | This fic is truly wonderful, romantic and so sweet. It even encouraged me to sign up for the app and I’ve taken two calls already!

💜 We’ll Be Alright | @jaerie | E | 20k | Feb 2020 | ABO, alpha Harry, omega Louis, major illness, sick Harry, sex therapist Louis, dubious ethics, sexual dysfunction, depression, recovery, mating, knotting, unplanned pregnancy | Gosh. So good. So hot. So lovely.

💜 Let Me Be Your Everlasting Light | @laynefaire | M | 12k | Aug 2020 | established relationship, northern lights, Norway, romance, proposal | Loved every beautiful word of this. So romantic and sweet. Can I go to Norway please?

Re-Reads

💜 Here In The Afterglow | @harrybridgers / fondleeds | E | 89k | Dec 2016 | 1970′s AU, small town America, gay rights movement, period-typical homophobia, strange to friends to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort, bullying, high school | Re-read of an old fave which hits differently each time I revisit it. Hauntingly beautiful and heartbreaking in some parts, but ultimately uplifting and hopeful.

💜 Led By Your Beating Heart | @missandrogyny | E | 30k | Oct 2015 | famous Harry, non-famous Louis, Call or Delete, Cute Lou from the Loo, coming out, smut, banter, romance | Still one of my all time faves. The plot is delicious and the flow of the whole story just makes me smile throughout. I find myself going back to this one every few months. Romantic and fluffy and sexy as all hell.

💜 Is This Seat Taken? | Lainy122 | E 35k | Dec 2015 | famous Harry, non-famous Louis, popstar Harry, seat-filler Louis (eventually), Louis and Zayn make bets, penis-shaped cashew nuts, miscommunication, shitty PR tactics | One of my all-time fave fics. I must’ve read this one more than ten times by now and it never disappoints. Funny and sweet and hot.

💜 When The Sun Won’t Let You Sleep | @allwaswell16 | E | 30k | July 2018 | enemies to lovers, scientist Louis, scientist Harry, Antarctica, sexual tension, smut, diet angst | Such an interesting plot that is handled so beautifully. I adore all of this authors work but this definitely up there with my faves.

[pan0ramy]

re8 thought dump because YE

i feel like this was almost inevitable but idk where else to talk about resident evil village so i’m just going to rant about it here!!! i have,,,, a lot of thoughts on this game after being so excited for it for so long

obviously, massive spoilers if you haven’t finished the game. i feel like i have thoughts on pretty much everything so please please please stay clear of this post if you’re trying to stay blind

otherwise, let me just rant about this game for a bit - mainly the story and characters - because i have Thoughts™

(also i feel like it goes without saying but this will be probably be quite long, so. strap in, ig)

okay SO. the whole intro was pretty interesting - even though we’d seen bits of it in trailers, it was still pretty unnerving and felt like it came out of nowhere. but the first thing that really stood out was the first village section with the hordes of lycans; i didn’t expect this game to start freaking me out so quickly but JESUS my blood pressure went up fast. 

there’s so many of them coming at you at once, and not only have you just lost half your damn hand, you’re not really used to the gunplay at that point AND you don’t have that many weapons at your disposal. so it’s basically just “hey we’re throwing you into this ring of death, good luck surviving!” which... now that i think about it, that really sums up the whole game lol

but for the most part, the early parts of the game are what we saw in the demos, so there’s nothing too new - it was nice getting to see the scene with all four lords and mother miranda, though. i wasn’t sure how the whole chase scene with the lycans would work - i thought heisenberg’s area was going to be some sort of mine, and that the chase would take place there - but it didn’t, and it was interesting regardless of it being so short. 

but the castle. THE CASTLE. 

i would be lying through my teeth if i said i wasn’t excited for dimitrescu like everybody else; i’m firmly in the camp of people who both meme about how attractive she is, and then also the people who legitimately find her attractive, soooo i kinda had high expectations going in? 

and sure, the castle section is only part of the game, but if there’s anything that makes me nervous most, it’s stalker enemies. resi 2 remake was actually pretty tough for me to get through because of how anxiety-inducing mr x was, and even though i don’t feel like she was as present as mr x was, lady d was still great! there were a good few times where you could hear her walking around and you just knew she was searching for you, which was really damn cool.

also, i know capcom had a lot of hype to live up to with lady dimitrescu, but goddamn they did such a great job with her. she’s so imposing but badass and just... really damn cool? like i honestly found myself being excited for her to show up rather than being scared. i just think she’s neat! I MEAN LOOK AT HER.

(also yes i know the whole internet has talked about how attractive she is, but can we just. appreciate that for a second???? she’s gorgeous and yall can’t tell me otherwise. like. bro ik the pronunciation is wrong but the way she says dimitrescu made me GASP i love this powerful vampire woman)

if anything, though, i... actually felt really bad that her story ended up the way it did. i mean, think about it: you break into her house, kill the three people she’s grown to consider her daughters, rob her shit, and then kill her? she technically goes through the same kind of parental grief that ethan does, in a way, which is a really interesting parallel. grief seems to be a theme that capcom really pushed for this game, and it works. 

also, her boss fight design is badass. she’s literally a dragon, how is that not incredible

so the castle was great, where could the game go from here? oh, i don’t know, how about gOOD OLD FASIONED FUCKING TRAUMA.

jesus christ the dollhouse GOT TO ME.

i’m pretty used to horror in general; i love horror games, movies, books, you name it. i’ve gone to horror movies where people have ran out because of fear all while i’ve sat there giggling the whole time. but the dollhouse? that dollhouse is FUCKED. i can’t remember the last time i watched someone play through a horror game and was so... on edge the whole time. the fact that they keep you waiting for so long with nothing happening just... makes the atmosphere incredibly uncomfortable, and then when shit does start going down, it goes down fast. in other words, jesus fucking christ that baby will haunt my nightmares until the end of time

basically capcom managed to make the n*zi baby joke from south park: the stick of truth legitimately terrifying, and i was glad to see donna die. moving on.

moreau’s section is the one i... actually don’t have as many thoughts on. it’s cool, sure, and the whole idea of him turning into a fish when he hits water is neat - it’s definitely a good callback to re4 - but idk, it didn’t really scare me that much. i can see it scaring those with a fear of water or the ocean, for sure, but eh. i thought the designs were cool, but i kinda tuned out a little here.

heisenberg, though, was anything but. the entire time leading up to village’s release, this guy has fascinated me for some reason. i don’t know if it’s because he’s the most normal-looking of the four lords, or the fact that he has telekinesis, or his amazing voice acting (seriously i know some people have shit on his VA but oh my god i adore it) or what, but this guy stood out to me from day one. i even went into the game expecting him not to die tbh. but no, he does, and his fight is pretty damn cool all things considered. only in a resident evil game could you have a mech fight and have it not feel out of place lol

also this line ^^^ legitimately made me laugh so hard i almost choked on my water. THE FACT HE TURNS AROUND AND APOLOGISES SO MEEKLY its fucking hilarious to me

but anyway.

similar to alcina, though, i was left with one big question about heisenberg - what did mother miranda do to him to get him to join her impromptu familly? he said himself to ethan that he didn’t want to join, so what did miranda do that didn’t give him a choice? did he have a family at some point? is he grieving too? what did miranda take from him? i can only hope this gets answered in the dlc, because it’s by far one of my biggest questions surrounding all of this. i may very well have missed it somewhere, and at least we know he has his telekinesis abilities thanks to miranda, but it’s a question that’ll definitely be on my mind going forward.

at this point, though, the story REALLY gets insane. it’s really nice how village decided to just continue on straight from what 7 did, and i’m very glad that everyone’s theories about chris being a werewolf were wrong - it’s a really nice spanner to throw in the works. if anything, the whole revelation of mother miranda disguising herself as mia the whole time since rose’s birth was really cool, and ethan being Mold™ the entire time was pretty neat too - it made a lot of things both in 7 and village make more sense.

what i’m still digesting, though, is the ending.

...man, capcom, you put poor ethan through all of that and then you have the balls to actually kill him? i mean shit, you made us think he was dead for a whole 20 minutes but then nope! he’s alive! but then nope! he’s dead again! i did see someone point out that at least ethan got to go out on his own terms, but dammit i would’ve at least liked for him to get to see mia one last time. i think it would’ve softened the blow a little more. but i guess that ties into the whole grief theming this game has going for it, and like i said, i probably just need some more time to digest it. 

i don’t dislike the ending, it’s just a very big culture shock - it’s definitely a ballsy move, and i really respect capcom for going all out the way they did. they really held back on nothing in terms of this game’s story and i absolutely love it. it was so, so worth the wait in that regard. 

and tbh that’s kinda how i feel about the whole game in general; it was super super good, very much worth the wait, and i absolutely cannot wait to see where resident evil goes from here. i have a gut feeling this’ll end up being one of my absolute favourites in the series, which i know is very high praise, but i really do love it that much. i wasn’t disappointed with much in this game, if anything at all. it’s just a super fucking good video game man idk what else to say at this point

[punkpal]

Get To Know Me Better! (tag game)

@tidal-wav3s thanks for tagging me dude!!

Fav color: Lots of people get surprised when i say this but pink has and always will be my favourite colour.

Last song I listened to: Four Walls - While She Sleeps

Fav musicians/bands: God i have so many but the first few that come to mind are Parkway Drive, My Chemical Romance, Five Finger Death Punch, Green Day, Architects, All Time Low, A Day to Remember, Hellions, Slipknot, Secrets, Ocean Grove, Korn, In Hearts Wake, Awaken I Am, Whilst She Sleeps, Slowly Slowly, Young Lions, Trophy Eyes, The Plot In You, Queen, The Maine, Linkin Park, Hands Like House, AD/DC, Evanescence, Dream On Dreamer, Asking Alexandria, Crown The Empire, Camp Cope, Bring Me the Horizon, System of a Down, Disturbed, The Used, Brand New, Blink-182, Bad Omens, Tonight Alive, Stick To Your Guns and lots lots more. When i was putting together this list i was gonna make it a max of 10 bands but then i kept thinking of more and more and eventually i just had to stop otherwise this list would become novel length. Basically the consensus is i like lots of music and any of the band i reblog shit from are favs.

Last film I watched: Sicario and it was shit so take my word and don’t fucking bother.

Last tv show I watched: I just finished rewatching The Umbrella Academy season 1 to get myself psyched for season 2. I also just finished watching the netflix mini series documentary ‘Unabomber: In his own words’ which was pretty good. And I am also currently binging The Office (US) and am just starting season 8. 

Fav original character: So i am writing (admittedly mostly just in my head although a little less then a quarter has been written as a rough draft on a word doc) a rather length fantasy/vampire novel. Its part romance, part drama, part revenge fantasy, part anarchist vigilante revolution au and tbh part me just self projecting my trauma and dysfunctional life onto my characters... And whilst it likely will never see the light of day because of my lack of motivation to write the entire thing down and instead just reference it when i am day dreaming. I really vibe with the alternative universe as an escape from the real one i am living in and i have a vested interest in the characters i have created in it. And whilst there are numerous ocs from this that i have put an alarmingly long amount of time (literally years) into developing all of which i love and adore i do have two favourites. One named Taylor who is a gay 2946 year old idiot/himbo (vampire obviously). He is hot, sweet, kind, caring, funny, understanding, stubborn, the mum™️  friend, a romantic fool with a a hint of mummy issues and anger problems and a complete fucking allergy to guilt. And the other is his prodigy/person he turned vampire named Meredith. She is 354 year old hot mess and is kinda the opposite of him in that she is homicidal, manipulative, cunning, devious, fearless (almost to a fault), strong willed women. Who is very smart, has a strong/forward and somewhat off putting personality, low key a bit of a bitch but is very protective of those she loves and has good morals and the desire to right all wrongs even if through violent revenge if she sees fit. She is the leader of a criminal underworld revolution seeking to bring revenge and justice to the powerful and untouchable evils of the world. And he is her loyal side kick that lets her run the show as she is a natural born leader, but also works as a the voice of reason and logic to her. All the while having his own sub plot of being torn between chasing his love interest despite the danger it possesses. Or sacrificing his own desire for connection and love for fear of the consequences despite it meaning living a sad and eternally lonely life. Thats just a very brief summery of those two. They have a very close but complicated relationship with each other, like annoying siblings but imagine if you had to live with your siblings for centuries. And they all have there flaws (some more obvious then others) as well as dark, morbid and tragic histories but it makes them what the are today both the good, the bad and the downright problematic. And yeah i’d like to think one day i will write this out properly and others will read it and connect to or relate to these characters. Maybe love them, maybe hate them, maybe initially hate them, like is designed with Meredith, but come to truly love her once they begin to understand her and see her potential thats hidden under layers of ‘don’t fuck with me’. But until then they are my characters to play around with and build upon and thats exactly what i intend to do.

Sweet, spicy, or savory: Sweet!

Sparkling water, tea, or coffee: Can i say hot chocolate or juice?

Pets: Living with me is my son and best friend Gideon (he is a adult black male cat i adopted a year ago and he is the best thing that has ever happened to me.) Living with my sister is my family cat i grew up with named Maisey (she is a snobby fat cat with a beautiful coat and i love her although i don’t think she loves me/or anyone.) And then at my mums is her puppy Newfoundland Bentley (basically god combined a dumbass and a dog and made him) as well as my brothers turtle Pedro and my axolotl Voldemort (can’t fit his huge tank in my apartment so he stays with mum.)

I’m tagging: @bilvy @revradio @cxmeterydrxve @angryqueercrypted @prettyyy-boyyy @disenchanted-mona-lisa @burymeinpink @thotfrnk @r1ghtbackatitaga1n @solelll @gothbtchz @highhighhopless @re-imagine @x-give-em-hell-kid-x @greendayer @dramaticallydepressed @lyricsinmyblood-bloodinmylyrics & @imsopunkrxck obviously this isn’t a obligation, do this tag game only if you want. And if you weren’t tagged but wanna take part then do tag me in your own and i will read and like it as i love learning about my followers passions and interests!

[mymoodwriting]

The Choice Is Yours

F!Reader x Vampire!Yuta

Genre: Vampire Dystopia

Warning: Blood, Trauma, Fire, Guilt

Words: 2K

Chapters:

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Epilogue

Prompt: Good behavior goes a long way when a new world order is established within hours and humans wind up at the bottom of the food chain. As luck would have it you were claimed by a vampire named Yuta, so you’re saved in a sense. Many would say you’re in a rather unique situation, and despite its perks it wasn’t really something you asked for.

    Everything ached, and it felt like maybe you shouldn’t be alive, but you were. You felt the hard ground beneath you, and you heard hushed voices around you. When you managed to open your eyes you saw that you were in some kind of tent. You tried to move but it caused you to scream in agony, and you felt like you’d pass out again.

“Woah, take it easy.”

“What… where am I? Who are you?”

“You’re safe, my name’s Jinwoo.”

“You… I remember… why did you attack the limo?”

“Why were you in it?”

“Me… my question first…”

“Isn’t it obvious? We have to fight back, show those bloodsuckers we’re not afraid.”

“So… you know how to kill them?”

“Burning them hasn’t failed us.”

“Yeah.” You groaned. “That makes sense…”

“Oh, here.” Jinwoo held a straw to your lips. “Drink this, it will help.”

“What is it?”

“Just drink.”

    You were about to but then the familiar scent of blood hit you. It made you gag, but that ultimately hurt you more.

“Vampire blood only heals minor wounds.”

“Yeah…” He seemed surprised you knew that. “But if you drink some periodically it can heal you completely. Sorry again, we didn’t know there was a human in the limo.”

“Obviously.” You took a sip. “How did you know I was human? I was in the wreck.”

“You’re not as pale, and you were also bleeding a lot more than the others.”

“Lucky me.”

“So, gonna tell me why you were in that limo?”

“I’m… I was the vampire’s feeder.”

“You? A feeder? No offense but I’ve seen feeders and they’re-”

“A mess? Yeah I know. He didn’t turn me into a mindless junkie, just drank from me until I was basically dead and then let me recover, only to do it all again.”

“That sounds awful.”

“I agree…” You managed the strength to sit up, with Jinwoo’s help. “So, are you guys the resistance?”

“In this area I suppose.”

“I didn’t know you guys were real.”

“Didn’t have faith in your people?”

“The possibility was low, but existence nonetheless. I’m glad I was wrong.”

“You don’t have to worry so much anymore. I’ll get you something to eat and then we can get moving.”

“Moving? Where are we going?”

“A sanctuary.”

    He gave you a smile before exiting the tent. You slowly moved your limbs, trying to regain control without being in too much pain. It seemed that you were healing, slowly but surely, which means they’ve probably been feeding you vampire blood since the accident. You thought back but the accident was probably hours ago, and you had no idea if Yuta and the others were really dead. Regardless, you weren’t sure how to feel, and you couldn’t just sit there.

    Despite some of the pain you managed to get on your hands and knees. You took a moment to gain your strength and got on your feet. It felt kinda weird but you managed to step out of the tent. You were in a small clearing, a few other tents around, as well as a big fire place in the center. There were quite a few people around, but no one paid you attention, more focused on packing up. You weren’t up for long before Jinwoo grabbed you and had you sit down.

“You shouldn’t be on your feet just yet.”

“But you said we’re moving, I have to be able to walk.”

“I can carry you.”

“I don’t want to be a burden like that.”

“And you think you won’t slow us down?”

    Another voice broke up your conversation with Jinwoo, and you couldn’t help but feel guilty. Being carried or trying to walk on your own, either way you’d drag everyone down.

“Sorry…”

“Shit, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Nice one, Minhyuk.”

“I just meant… even with your injuries we’d move faster if Jinwoo just carried you.”

“I’d complain about why you saved me if I’m this much trouble, but my injuries are because of your actions, so I’ll just keep my mouth shut.”

“Sorry…”

“Me too.”

“Alright then!” Jinwoo changed the conversation. “Great first impressions, and while we’re here, I never got your name.”

“It’s y/n.”

“Very nice, now Min here does have a point. We’ll move faster if I carry you, but as long as you drink your healing juice you should be able to walk on your own in no time.”

“Healing juice?”

“Do you want me to call it blood?”

“No…”

“Exactly, now here, you need to eat. And stay put, please.”

“I will.”

“Good.” 

    The boys went to help the rest pack up and get moving. It was kinda peaceful, as if you had gone on a camping trip. You walked around a bit, trying to get back to normal, but you certainly wouldn’t be able to keep up with the group. It was kind of embarrassing, but you doubt they’d let you argue with them anyway. Once everyone was ready to move Jinwoo offered you a piggyback ride, and you could only say yes.

    He was a lot stronger than you expected, or maybe you were lighter because of your injuries, either way, he didn’t seem to be bothered. You kept quiet, not knowing what to say or talk about but it seemed Jinwoo didn’t like the silence. He asked about your life before all this, although reminiscing about the past hurt. He could tell the subject matter wasn’t the best but you were quick to change the subject.

“Did you really… kill them?”

“Well, the crash happened kinda in the middle of nowhere. Everyone inside was unconscious, and we lit that limo up. I guess you didn’t hear but there was an explosion. We don’t hang around to see the bodies, but fire like that, and with no help coming to them, the chances are very low.”

“Yeah… yeah you’re probably right.”

“Y/n…”

“Hm?”

“Are you crying?”

“What?” You quickly wiped away the tears. “No, no I’m not.”

“Did you care about the vampire?”

“I… I don’t know…”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Shouldn’t you be disgusted with me right now?”

“Well… let me guess, you were dressed in white?”

“Yeah…”

“That already puts you above those in grey. He took care of you, didn’t he? Way better than anyone else?”

“How could you possibly know that?”

“You said you were his personal feeder, I’ve seen how feeders really are, and they’re basically pampered. You can call what you’re feeling love, I might call it stockholm. Either way, you don’t even know what you feel.”

“I… I suppose you’re right… how do you know so much about feeders?”

“One of the first places we attacked was this small little club. Burned a few vamps and saved some humans but… they were pretty gone. The place was very nice, and the feeders seemed well cared for.”

“It makes sense when you think about it. Feeders would be seen as pets more than anything, so of course they’d get the best care.”

“Is that what you were? A pet?”

“Basically… he called me that from time to time too. It put me in a couple of bad situations too…”

“Sorry to hear, but I promise you’ll be safe once we get to the sanctuary.”

“Where is that exactly?”

“You see those two mountains ahead of us?”

“Yeah.”

“There’s a hidden valley between them, kinda dangerous, so the bloodsuckers don’t think we’d bother, but we do. Beyond that we’ve built our safe place, and we’re doing just fine.”

“That’s good to hear, that we’re fighting, but why did you attack the limo? Why not the house up the road?”

“We don’t want to hurt our kind. If we had known you were in the limo, we wouldn’t have attacked.”

“But the house doesn’t have any humans.”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah… it’s just full of vamps, and some halfbreeds basically act as servants, no humans at all.”

“Huh… I guess we have our next target.”

    It suddenly dawned on you what you had just said. Your mind immediately jumped to those you had played games with, they were practically innocent children, and you just painted a target on their back. Then again, they weren’t human, they were living in luxury on the backs of humans, maybe they deserved to see that your kind isn’t weak and won’t just submit.

♥♥♥♥♥

    Around what you assume was lunch time, the group came to a stop. You were glad to finally get off Jinwoo’s back, wanting him to rest. You tried to walk on your own, actually able to do it, but not at a fast pace. Regardless, you were happy that you could walk and wouldn’t be a literal burden on Jinwoo’s shoulders. Also grateful for the jacket given your shirt was torn up and would leave you way more exposed.

“How many humans have you saved?”

“Not enough.”

“Okay…”

“Sorry, I just feel like we could do more, better, we just don’t have the numbers.”

“I could help, I think…”

“You don’t have to. There’s nothing wrong with you staying in the sanctuary.”

“But I can help, I’ve learned a lot… being a pet…”

“Like what?”

“Well… halfbreeds… their fangs hurt humans, but not vampires. So wouldn’t… the fangs of a halfbreed be something we could weaponize?”

“Huh, that’s pretty fucked up.”

“I… I just…”

“That house you mentioned before, said it was full of halfbreeds, might not be a bad place to start.”

“Yeah, I guess not.”

    As the sun began to set, the group found a spot to set up camp for the night. Jinwoo said the trip back would take at least five days, three to get to the mountains, and another two to get through them. That’s how you learned they had been dragging you on this homemade sled thing for about a day after the crash. You must have been in really bad shape, meaning the vampire blood is the only reason you’re alive.

“So, why not have one big campfire? Why a bunch of small ones.”

“Safety.” Minhyuk said. “One big fire could attract unwanted attention, by having smaller ones the smoke is more spread out and less likely to be seen.”

“You guys have it all planned out, you need to be cautious, even all the way out here.”

“Better to be safe than sorry.”

“Definitely.”

    After eating and doing your best to help clean up you retired to a tent. You were laying down, trying to get comfortable, when others came in and started settling in. You didn’t want to sound rude and ask what they were doing, although Jinwoo came in and saw your face knowing what was troubling you.

“We only have so many tents, and we can’t keep the fires going through the night, so we pile into them and sleep close for warmth.”

“Ah, that makes sense. You guys really know how to survive.”

    You curled up, not sure how you slept before. Everyone seemed to knock out pretty fast, although you tossed about for a bit. You didn’t realize but you were slowly inching towards Jinwoo. He only realized when he turned over and found your face inches from his. You were shaking lightly, and he slowly reached over to gently wake you.

“Y/n…”

“Hm.”

“Y/n… wake up…”

“Hm…” You slowly opened your eyes and saw how close to Jinwoo you were. “Oh shit… sorry… I didn’t realize…”

“Are you cold?”

“A… a bit…”

“Come on then.” He held his arm up and let you snuggle against him. “Better?”

“Yeah… I shared a bed with the vampire… he was pretty cold to the touch… I guess I never got used to it.”

“Nor will you. Get some sleep, we move at sunrise.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem, I got you.”

[takerfoxx]

Flip-Flappers episode 7, first impressions!

Just when I think I have a handle on where this show is going, it completely flips the script, no pun intended.

All right, so what I figured was going to happen was that that whole business of digging around in Iroha’s subconscious and helping her with her childhood trauma would be a one-off, and future episodes would have them similarly digging through the minds of other characters or something like that. Instead, the show hits the breaks and decides to not only dig in deeper to the ramifications of having taken that excursion in the first place in how Iroha was ultimately affected, but also how that change affects our protags, as well as digging even deeper into their own psyches. 

I love it.

Now, full disclosure: I am good at a great many things when it comes to examining stories, but one aspect that I fall short in is picking up on and interpreting metaphors. My brain just works too literally, and things fly over my head (insert Drax joke here). So basically, if you present us with a vampire story, a lot of people might look into the meaning of the vampires and what they represent. Do they represent the fear of the unknown, some kind of plague, feeling like an outsider, sycophants that leech off of society, being afraid of confronting one’s true identity, etc.? 

But me? I skip over all that stuff and go straight to, “Okay, here’s the species. Here’s the rules, the benefits and drawbacks of being part of said species, and how they are commonly perceived by everyone else. How are these characters likely to react to vampires, and how is being a vampire likely to inform this character’s development, and what kind of drama can we stir up?” Basically, if you present me with a flying, talking bookshelf, I’m going to completely ignore what that bookshelf is likely to represent on a metaphorical level and go right to wondering what being a flying, talking bookshelf means to said flying, talking bookshelf. 

Normally this works okay, but with a show like Flip-Flappers, which is loaded with metaphorical subtext, this can be a problem when it comes to figuring out theme and subtext. 

So...I’ve been cheating a little. I’ve been reading up on the original reaction threads to the episodes on reddit and getting their help with interpretations and seeing which theory I like the best.

Hey, we work with what we got.

So, here’s our scenario: Cocona is having second thoughts about having changed Iroha. On the one hand, her senpai is now happier and better adjusted, having finally come to terms with her guilt (thanks to Cocona and Papika essentially acting as her id and ego), but on the other hand, artistic expression was her way of coping with her guilt, and with her guilt now gone, she has lost interest in painting.

And Cocona hates this.

See, Cocona was someone who was frustrated with her own lack of passion and ambition, so she really looked up to the incredibly creative and driven Iroha. But now that she’s accidentally destroyed what she loved most about Iroha, she wants to go back and set things back to the way they were. 

This leads to an interesting conundrum: on the one hand, Cocona’s motivations are entirely selfish, and it can’t be argued that Iroha might be better off now. She’s free from her guilt, she’s outside talking to people and socializing, and might be happier and healthier than she had been, even if it costs her her precious art. But on the other hand, Cocona may have a point. Iroha didn’t work through her trauma on her own, Cocona and Papika did it for her, essentially robbing her of her agency. And traumas and mistakes are just as important to building someone’s character as good experiences, and forcibly taking them away might not be for the best.

Unfortunately for Cocona, she isn’t given the opportunity to do anything about it, as she’s instead forced to confront her own issues. Namely, how does she view Papika? This is something I really like about the show. Every time I have a complaint or quibble, the show itself addresses the problem and makes it part of the plot. It seems weird that Cocona is just passively going along with everything? Yayaka agrees, and calls her out on it. Cocona and Papika’s relationship seems a little too yuribait-y? Here’s an episode deconstructing that very trope, and now Cocona needs to think really hard about what Papika means to her, namely by being stuck in a Pure Illusion mock-up of her home town inhabited by only her and several alternate versions of Papika that come and go, each one representing a different kind of relationship.

We have the adoring little sister Papika, the prettyboy classmate Papika, the hikikomori Papika, the bad boy rebel Papika, the enthusiastic best friend Papika, and...oh my God...the seductive lesbian devil Papika, who cuts straight through the bullshit and asks Cocona if she wants to fuck. That was...interesting, to say the least.

But in the end, Cocona ends up rejecting all of them. Because she’s not looking for these alternate Papika and what they can offer her, she wants the real one. Who finally comes to her when a weirdass hole opens beneath Cocona and Papika shows up to save the day in her Yellow Submarine-esque abandoned pipe thing. Which begs the question: does Papika live in that pipe or something? Is that why it was already decked out during their camping trip?

Anyway, that Cocona and Papika are two halves of the same whole is already well established, and the whole Id and Ego parallels are pretty blatant. But I’m starting to wonder if there is more to it than that. Like, is Papika a real person at all? I mean, she is, we’ve had enough solo outings with her to establish that. But might she be a being from Pure Illusion, like maybe the embodiment of Cocona’s suppressed Id?

This theory seems to be unraveled when Papika has a flashback to her own buried memories about someone named “Mimi,” the identity of which is still unknown. Though I suppose Mimi could very well be the girl in the boat from Cocona’s dreams, and she was split into two beings, that being Cocona and Papika. I suppose that will be explored later. Though what was up with that guy behind the tree?

Also on the Yayaka front, it seems that despite acting like team leader, she isn’t really respected much in her own organization, whereas the twins, who might be artificial beings themselves, very much are. Curious.

Also, I laughed my ass off when Cocona suddenly puts two and two together and is like, “Oh shit. This is Pure Illusion, isn’t it?” And prettyboy Papika is all like, “No shit, Sherlock.”

[rarestereocats]

rundown of tonight’s game!

we started our pre-game off great when discussion of whether or not Optimus Prime is a fascist came to light and then upon discussing transformer balls in the movies,  i left a wonderful “AUTO BALLS ROLL OUT” in the chat.  i also learn that Tenin doesn’t float like i’ve thought this entire time so my entire world is shattered.

as the fey vampire babushka thing dies,  she mutters something sweet under breath like the bitch she is and Tenin feels weak in the knees.  literally.  Tenin got his shit fucked up with a curse everyone and i bet he’s sworn off women now.  we head back to camp and sleep like little babes after we make sure nothing else can attack us.

upon waking up,  i’m amazed as i look over and Industria has sprouted white angel wings that glitter gold in sunlight.  like cue the heavenly choir on that shit cuz it’s pretty as fuck!  i ask her about it and then she lets me touch the wings and they are  S O F T.  so we pack up and move towards the sound of running water as we wanna get our fishing game on.

we find a cave and look,  after everything we’ve been through with that fucking spelunking adventure a few sessions back,  we don’t want what that dark hole is offering.  no more glory holes in the middle of nowhere,  please.  We Are Tired.  but after reading some thieves’ cant and realizing the water is unsafe,  we all decided this cave is our new home and began our trek through.

BUT GODDAMN,  the cave is a fucking illusion (obligatory song for this campaign apparently??) and at this point,  my illusionary magic PTSD should be cured by exposure therapy.  behind it is a sign that reads “Haven for lost children.  Harbor”.  we head inside and it’s a village in the trees literally full of children.  we meet their leader,  Luska,  and she talks of how children keep going missing.  since we need to meet the Guardian and Luska is meeting them in 3 days,  we decided to help these kids out.

these kids are ridiculous though cuz get this.  they don’t fucking age.  they went missing elsewhere and somehow ended up here with no recollection of what happened and some of them haven’t aged in centuries.  these children are literally just fucking KFC for fey and are getting picked off by the day,  but they’re pretty casual about it.  as Luska gathers some resources for us to look into this,  we head to the cafe and have a lovely time.  Samuel and Xaren share cookies,  and both me as a player and Kina as an individual,  ship it.

as we search the homes of the missing,  Xaren finds many journals that derail into paranoid rambling.  i find some claw marks by a bed and we relay that information to the other group as they search some other homes.  Elathera,  Industria,  and Rikius begin concocting a plan to lure the creature out as they realize it’s a bogeyman.  these things feed on fear,  so best option?  scare somebody and use them as bait.

now here’s the things,  kids.  we are literally in a village chock full of kids.  you know what scares easily?  children.  but what do they decide on?  lets cast fear on good ol’ Kina and leave her as bogeyman bait cuz hey,  at least i can hold my own right??   pile that PTSD on,  folks.  for her,  this entire campaign is turning into PTSD&D: Mental Trauma in a Basket.  the worst part?  they decided not to tell me this plan.

they go on a shopping trip for the supplies they need to destroy my mental state and Industria offends Rikius by implying he was an evil wizard at some point.  so she continues her beautiful crusade of offending men (#feminism),  they get their gear,  and roll out.  we all meet up at the inn.  we manage to scare the shit out of the child innkeeper and Industria makes him cry,  so now we quickly work to build this child back up and assure him nothing is absolutely gonna go wrong.

we head off for our rooms and everyone else gathers elsewhere to discuss this plan.  Xaren and Samuel are not having this shit and god bless their fucking souls cuz as Industria mentions something of dying as a risk,  Samuel storms off to find me and tell him, what’s going on.  i am pissed.  i am upset.  my own friends were planning this behind my back and didn’t wanna warn me,  so my fur bristles and i just wanna go ham;  but then Industria closes the distance to explain.

as she explains,  in understand.  best option,  less opportunities for causalities and loss of innocent lives.  i’m not happy,  but i reluctantly agree to be the bait.  we say good-night,  i thank Samuel and Xaren for alerting to me,  and Industria comes into my room to talk.  we have a tender heart-to-heart,  a sisterly moment,  and hug it out.  i tell Industria that i know they all have my back,  so it’ll be fine.  we then get our gossip on,  talking but that Juice.  Elathera and Tenin being an item?  Industria says she caught them in bed and my theory’s proven true.  she heads on out,  reluctantly.

she gets back top the room and her and Elathera have a big talk about what happened that morning.  she tells Elathera to put a sock on the door when Tenin comes in to “practice his sword” and Elathera is mortified.  red in the face,  she says she has something to show Industria,  but Industria doesn’t wanna see it thinking she’s about to get an eyeful of the Nasty.  she makes her watch as she swaps places with Tenin,  but instead of realizing what’s happening,  Industria assumes Elathera ran off out of embarrassment. 

Xaren is pacing in his room,  fuming,  still upset about all of this.  Samuel and him have another romance movie moment as they have these tender,  heart-to-heart chats.  as they bond,  Samuel places his hand on Xaren’s,  who blushes and both get awkward as they pull away and say good-night quickly.  bounce back to me and Rikius and i tell him i had a horrifying revelation.  he looks up from his book.  “that explains the harness.”.  he laughs,  but says the Elathera/Tenin thing is a joke.  i tell him i know better than that cuz i’ve been traveling with them all long enough to know the truth.

Rikius asks me if the Braid Bandit will strike again so i nervously said that’d be fucked up considering current circumstance.  he shakes his head and goes back to meditating.  come morning,  everybody is downstairs when i get up with the sicks ass Blackbeard-esque braids i put in my mane.  i head on down and try to accuse the Braid Bandit of striking again,  but i think everyone’s tired of that shit.  as the day goes by,  i take the braids out and brush the mane out.

come sundown,  it’s go time.  we pick an abandoned house and they all send me up alone as they turn invisible and get into position.  i head in as the wind picks up and the darkness settles and let me tell you,  i am already unnerved.  i do not like this.  as i sit down on the bed,  Rikius moves in and casts fear and now i’m panicking.  as the bogeyman closes in,  i go full fluff and cower into the corner,  not sure what to do.

our brawl with the bogeyman is textbook “believe it or not,  this isn’t the worst day we’ve had” as our plan just falls to pieces.  the bait works!  i am perfect bait!  but we sprung the trap too soon,  so the bogeyman kicks everybody’s shit in as Rikius stays inside to keep an eye on me and drop the fear spell.  as i’m in the corner,  eternally sobbing,  i hear one of my friends scream out in agony and then nothing.  it was Industria after seeing a sight that horrified her completely thanks to the bogeyman.  probably images of Ryan Cabrera’s hair.  have you seen that shit?  i’d die too.  she goes down,  face down in the dirt as this fucker continues punishing us.

as i finally come to my senses too quickly and race outside hoping that my friends are alive.  as i leave,  Rikius fires off at the bogeyman with a scorching ray and nearly kills it.  without a second of hesitation,  Xaren punches the shit out of this thing until it’s dead.  Elathera panics at the sight of Industria and feeds her a potion to bring our girl back to us.  as she does that,  Tenin angrily roars and stabs the corpse.

we regroup and get ready to go see Luska to let her know what’s up.  Xaren asks me if I’m alright and when i say no,  he offers a hug that i take.  Samuel joins our hug and then picks us both up and as my friends fill Luska in,  i pass out and Samuel takes me back to the inn to tuck me in.  after,  everybody else goes to get dinner and burns the body.

Industria spends the night practicing and playing her new lyre she took from the corpse.  Xaren and Samuel have another date at the cafe where Xaren is haunted by the spirit of my voice telling him to kiss him.  i’m plagued by nightmares and go to longingly stare out the window and Rikius asks if i need to talk.  i tell him i’m bad at that sort of thing and he says he is too,  so we quietly sit in each other’s company as i watch the forest,  fluffed up,  and purring.  i fall asleep,  loafed into the window.

as i wake up,  still loafed into the window and purring,  Rikius is leaning against the wall and waiting for me.  he’s trying to be subtle,  but hey,  boy.  ;)

we meet everyone downstairs and and we’re all a little tired and disheveled.  my mane is a mess and as soon as Industria mentions we’re meeting the Guardian today,  i panic and began brushing my mane out fiercely.  Rikius and Samuel help me brush my giant mane and I Am Ready.  Rikius fixes his hair and checks his stubble to make sure it’s still acceptable.  he turns to me for second opinions and i give him a thumbs up,  so like,  we’re getting there,  folks.  he’s mine.

we finally meet the Guardian.  a hamadryad named Andruw Mar.  we return their book and they seem delighted to see it again.  we speak and learn that the Svartalfar are trying to take down the Guardian and his people to get back to the Feywild and do Naughty Things,  so we agree to help them out so long as they consider negotiations to ally themselves with our nation.  the Guardian agrees and hands us a fancy card to give to New Thaddeus as a way of showing their good fiath so long as we keep our word.

and that’s where we let off.

[continuouscalamity]

CHAPTER 5 TRIAL TRANSCRIPT

"You know the time, buckaroos! Head to the foyer, pronto! Snrk! Oink!"

TRIAL 5 - BEGINNING

[4:51 PM] Monoboar!: The dread of seeing a person die still lingers within the elevator. Another one lost, and perhaps another one after this trial.

Only you lot have the capacity of finding the culprit.

...

The stops at the trial room for the fifth time for the time you've been here. Ten stands take place of the ones who once lived: ten portraits of Akihiko, Aderyn, Akemi, Wallace, Wilma, Eri, Riku, Qiuyue, Rayne, and Keiko.

Monoboar heads to his seat, and chanted out, "Head to yer stands at once, oink!"

@Alive [4:51 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': Willy. Stand. Yeah. [4:51 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: ...

[4:52 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: Cerviel headed to his stand reluctantly and placed his doll on top. [4:52 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: Artemis wobbles to her stand. She looks like she's had much better times. [4:52 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: Renzo goes to their stand and gives Artemis a sad glance. [4:55 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana looks to her left. It's a straight row of three empty stands before Willy's. Damn...she doesn't like that. She hadn't payed that much notice until right now.

"Okay." she slams her hands on her stand. "Start talking, 'cause I wanna get out of this stupid room as much as everyone else..." [4:56 PM] Monoboar!: "Y'all know the drill, y'all should be experts at this! Though, I can't expect much from grubby minds, gwahaha..."

The boar slams his gavel down excitedly, looking towards the circle of people.

"Let the trial for Keiko Taisei friggin' start! Oink!"

[GIF]

[4:59 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Ugh. Okay. So, like..." she started. "I was walking back to my room and there was a, like...brown-ish red-ish handprint on the thing? I mean-- the wall?" she explained. She's tired. "I think it's blood. Well, duh, it's blood. I mean, what else would it be? Chocolate pudding?" [5:00 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: :consentbullet: "It's blood. Saw it for myself." [5:01 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Ugh..." she groaned. "Gross..."

[5:02 PM] packie hayai 🌾 💤: "The place where we found her seemed kinda normal, 'side from the body."

:cluebullet: "There's only one set of footprints and a trail of something, or someone, being dragged." [5:03 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Well, she has a cane. Maybe she was dragging it along? I dunno?" [5:04 PM] packie hayai 🌾 💤: "It was a pretty fucking big trail." [5:04 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Well, at least there's evidence there's a killer, right?" [5:04 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Ya can't drag yourself, that's dumb." [5:05 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Maybe she was, wait...was her leg, like, not there...? When we found her? Maybe she was dragging her other leg? Hey, it's a good hypothesis!" [5:06 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "S-She has... both legs at-attached to her body." [5:06 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "What the heck." [5:06 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "I think you're thinkin' of Artemis, Hime-honey." [5:07 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Hey! No one can think straight in here, c'mon!" she huffs, looking embarrassed nonetheless. [5:08 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "..."

"Anyways. I should mention the body," [5:08 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "I had a closer look at it while Artemis was there, I think." [5:08 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': { "Go on..." } [5:09 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Well, Artemis altered the body and it's position, so I couldn't see how it was placed originally." [5:11 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: :cluebullet: "However! I did see her wounds on the top, and a shallower wound at the back. Her clothes were wet, assumedly from the damp cellar conditions." [5:12 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "I-I.. I remember how her body was at first." [5:12 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "OH!" Hana exclaimed. "Her cane! It was right next to her body, and, like...it was covered in blood and it looked broken." she said, seemingly proud of her perceptiveness. "Maybe someone, like, hit her with it...?" [5:13 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: :consentbullet: "Lookin' how the case file says she died from blunt force trauma, that has to be it!" [5:13 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Anyways, go on, Artemis." [5:15 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: :cluebullet:  She gave a rough cough, tilting her head downwards to stare at her stand. "U-Um... When I-I first saw her... she was face down on the cellar floor-- A-And she had her hands out as if she was trying to drag herself towards the door..." [5:15 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana grimaced. [5:16 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': "Must have had some life left in her..." [5:16 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: :consentbullet: "Seein' how was still alive when she was discovered, I'd think so too." [5:17 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': { "I meant as she was left there, but yeah." } [5:17 PM] packie hayai 🌾 💤: Packie winces. Okay, moving on from that.

:cluebullet: "There was one of those motive cards right beside her body. Maybe it's the one she received, or maybe the culprit's." [5:19 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: :consentbullet: "I found it... it was KUBOcard. I think I grabbed it..." She did indeed, she pulls it out. [5:19 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Oh! That reminds me again! I read that thing! It said something like, I know your secret, meet me in the foyer and explain yourself. I dunno. It was written with really, really neat handwriting, too." [5:20 PM] packie hayai 🌾 💤: { "I meant the motive card, but good thing you saw that too, Princess." } [5:20 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "Taisei-san's, probably." [5:20 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: { "Shuddup! I know what you meant, I was just, uh...adding on!" } [5:21 PM] packie hayai 🌾 💤: { "Cool."}"Would you, uh, mind reading it to us? Or would you rather have us read all the secrets we got first?" [5:22 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "I-I can do it." [5:22 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': { "I wouldn't mind knowing who got mine..." } [5:22 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: { "What the heck would they know about me anyway?" } [5:22 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Let's hear Kubo's card first, then we can discuss the motive cards." [5:23 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: She cleared her throat. Everyone be silent. :cluebullet:  "It says. 'What's new, Nosferatu? Kubo had to sacrifice his own sister to become a vampire!' And... yeah-" [5:24 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!:

[5:24 PM] packie hayai 🌾 💤: { "I hate the supernatural. Fuck my life." } [5:24 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: { " " } [5:24 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana blinks. [5:24 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: {"Kubo is too busy playing Minecraft to refute this."} [5:24 PM] packie hayai 🌾 💤: { "Damn." } [5:24 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "But considering... it could be a lie." [5:24 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: {"Yeah he's playing Minecraft."} [5:25 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "I mean-- Mines wasn't true, Lake showed me..." [5:25 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "That's the thing! Some cards, I've discovered, have false information..." Hazel agrees. "I'd shared mine with Lady Uzo's, and it wasn't true." [5:25 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "I got Lake's thing, and I wouldn't believe it!"

She takes out her pocketed card. [5:25 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Really? Thank friggin' goodness! I got Pickle-nii-chan's..." [5:26 PM] packie hayai 🌾 💤: "I 'unno much about mine to say if it's true or not. And I'd rather not know."

He takes his card out and reads it again, making a face at it. [5:26 PM] packie hayai 🌾 💤: "Wait, you got mine? What does it say." [5:26 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: "Do... some have false information...? Or are all of them, wrong?" [5:27 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "We'll.. have to tell and see." [5:27 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Oh, uhh..." she fidgets. "Hold on a second." she digs through her apron pocket, a packet of sugar falling out in the proccess. She finds a crumpled piece of paper.

"It was written by the boar, obviously. Um... 'Oi princess! Did ya know that your friend Packie caused his sister's "accident" on purpose out of jealousy? Can't see him the same way, can't ya?'" she read the card out loud, crudely mimicing the boar's voice. [5:27 PM] Monoboar!: Monoboar sniffs. [5:27 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': "Yeah I got Keiko's 'secret'... That doesn't sound good right about now, doesn't it?" [5:27 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel's brows raise, looking at Packie. [5:28 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "Ah, you did?" [5:28 PM] packie hayai 🌾 💤: "The fuck? No, that's not true. It doesn't matter right now, though, not important." [5:28 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel is doing some math in her head right now. [5:28 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "Okay- Who else wants to share...?" [5:28 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Okay! I believe you, like, a thousand times more then that stupid hog." she said, but secretly she was curious. What was true about it? [5:29 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Can I share Lake's?" [5:29 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': "Yeah it said something like 'Keiko poisons her parents to take care of them' or some shit like that." [5:29 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: She mimics Monoboar's voice, in the same vein as Hana. "Hey! Heard that lil' Lake tried to slip harmful substances into a batch of cookies made at her camp but got caught! Ain't that a treat? Bwahaha!" [5:29 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "Go ahead, Uzoamaka-san. I--" [5:29 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: "Ouuuahhhh... scary.." [5:29 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: Artemis lets out a teary scoff at Willy's talk. "Y-Yeah fucking right." [5:29 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "NO?" [5:29 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "...a bit late, but perhaps wait your turn." [5:30 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: She's referring to everyone. [5:30 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana groaned. [5:30 PM] Monoboar!: "Y'all's impressions of me friggin' suck."

[5:30 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "Who.. else. I can share the one I got." [5:30 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "I should share mine, but you may go first, Lady Artemis." [5:30 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "WHY THE FUCK WOULD I PUT SHIT IN MY COOKIES FOR KIDS!!! YOU'RE JUST STOOPING TO LIES TO GET US TO CRACK AT THIS POINT!!!" [5:31 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: She puts on her best Monoboar expression, but since she's been in tears the last hour and a half it's pretty shitty. "News Flash 'bout Willy! He sped up his mentor's death so he could take his place! So cruel, that boy..." [5:31 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Shuddup, hog! You're wrong! I bet you couldn't do any better, stupid idiot! You sound like you have a potato stuck in your throat at all times! I'll eat you for my dinner! Actually, no, I don't even wanna touch you let alone eat you." [5:32 PM] packie hayai 🌾 💤: "Mm, I can read mine whenever you guys want." [5:32 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Bruh." She refers to Willy's secret. [5:32 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: {"Hana,"} [5:32 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: {"What? I'm right!"} [5:32 PM] Monoboar!: Monoboar plugs his ears. [5:32 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': "Wh-" Willy stepped back at the lie of his. "What the fuck! I would never! Mortimer was a better parent than-" He stops himself. "... Now's not the time for that, but anyways... Yeah, not true!" [5:33 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel is making a face. "...and you all swear on your very life that these secrets are not true?" [5:34 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "I can swear that mines wasn't true... Ask Strawberry..." [5:34 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "I swear on my life and my mom's and my mama's!" [5:34 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "YES! I'M NOT FUCKING HEARTLESS!" [5:34 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "That's like, three lives. That's how much I swear." [5:34 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': "Not only on my life, but The Magnificent Mort's as well!" He shoots out some doves. [5:34 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: { "Ghhuuhhh..." } [5:34 PM] packie hayai 🌾 💤: "Mine definitely isn't true. You can ask me more about it later if you want to know what's up." [5:35 PM] Monoboar!: "Oh yeah, Kubo's playing Minecraft. Let me get his card."

[5:35 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana made direct eye contact with Packie. [5:35 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel sighs. [5:35 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Waiting for Monoboar. [5:35 PM] packie hayai 🌾 💤: He ignores Hana. [5:36 PM] Monoboar!: He yoinks the card out of Kubo's pocket, reading off as so:

"To thee, thy vampire. It has come to terms that Hana created a cult of her personality whose members she calls her "subjects". Bwahaha! Ain't that a card?" [5:36 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Why'dyoudoShakespearetalkwithhiscard." [5:36 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "WHAT?" [5:36 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "...okay, that sounds nothing like Hana. Are you even trying? And why are you speaking like me? DOTH THOU MOTHER KNOW I'VE EATEN HER FOR BREAKFAST?" [5:37 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: {"Jesus-"} [5:37 PM] Monoboar!: "Fie! Fie!" He shakes a fist.

[5:37 PM] packie hayai 🌾 💤: Packie holds back a laugh. The thought of Hana controlling a cult was too much. [5:37 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hana would never! Hazel snorts a bit, but puts back on an angry face. [5:37 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "That's not friggin' true! What the heck? You're not even trying!"

[5:38 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "We're getting off track... has anyone not gone yet..?" [5:38 PM] packie hayai 🌾 💤: "I haven't read mine yet, so I can read it now?" [5:39 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: God fucking dammit. [5:39 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel was about to speak but looks at Packie. [5:39 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "Ugh, mine said Artemis killed her mom on accident, or something, but that's not true, as if you could expect it to be anywhere near a truth." [5:39 PM] packie hayai 🌾 💤: He looks back. Thank you. "I have Fujita-kun's secret, let me fuckin'.." he reads it out loud in a monotone voice.  "From the down below, Renzo killed their parents because Zuz'gamath asked them to! A devil indeed! Gwahaha!"

He shudders after that. Bazing a I fucking hate supernatural shit. [5:40 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "These are sooooo farfetched." [5:40 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel likes it when it doesn't include weird bullshit. [5:40 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel looks at Renzo. [5:40 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: Artemis looks ready to snap. "I-I'm gonna kill that fucking pig--" [5:40 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: Bazing a I hate boars. Renzo looked uncomfortable. "That's.. that's n-not true.." [5:41 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Both of those have to do with them killing their parents or something! You aren't trying, you aren't trying, you stupid hog! You smell SO DISGUSTING! I'M GOING TO GAG!" [5:41 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel looks around. Did no one get something of hers? Oh well. [5:41 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: She clears her throat. "May I say mine, then?" [5:41 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "Go ahead, Haze..." [5:41 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana looks at her friend. [5:41 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Yeah, then Renzo's, then Cerviel's." [5:42 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Whoever they got, they still gots to share." [5:42 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "A-Anyways, with that in our information as well, for this case, would it make every one of these false? Because even in Lady Uzo's," She pulls the card out to read it, not bothering to recite every word. "Uzoamaka let someone die instead of helping them, all for getting the scoop." [5:42 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "...But of course, Lady Uzo refutes this as false." [5:42 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Like why the hell would I do that."

[5:43 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: "Hrhh.. so much death... Uzo is a good friend, not a bad person." [5:43 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "The pig's not fuckin' trying..." [5:43 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': "Pbbbbbth! Zoa would fucking never do that, she's too nice for that." Willy crosses his arms. [5:44 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "Exactly... what is the meaning behind all this, Sir Piggy!? I saw through this the very day you gave these to us..." [5:44 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "What? Is the dumb 'twist' you're gonna spin on us gonna be that one of these are actually true? That'd be so cliche." [5:44 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: { Uzoamaka will remember Willy's kind comment. } [5:45 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: Renzo looks around at everyone. "Ah, so... is it my turn..? That is what Uzo said... we-" They pause, "..I got Hazels." [5:45 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "Hm?" Hazel feels a bit nervous now at Hana's speculation. What if hers has a truth? That'd be so embarrassing!! "...yes, go ahead." [5:47 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: "Okayyyy," Renzo takes out their card, which they had decided to take with them to trial because why not. "Fun fact-o! Hazel completely destroyed another writer's reputation because of a lie she told! Oh the writer's world... Boohoooooo..." They read, entirely word-for-word. [5:48 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: She bristles, hands clenching into fists. "Of course not...! I'd never do such a horrid thing-- the writing industry is hard, yes, but I respect others!" [5:48 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "These all sound like a load of barnacles." [5:49 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "So they were all lies..?"

'She was killed over a lie...' [5:49 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: Cerviel shifted a little, uneasy. "It should be my turn now, but I um.. have a little bit of bad news." [5:49 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Whet." [5:49 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: "...Ehh?" [5:49 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: He sighed. "I never read my card so I don't know whose I got. I buried it in the park." [5:50 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "..." [5:50 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "....!?!??!?!?!?" [5:50 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "Understandable. Have a good day." [5:50 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: "Whhoooppss... well, who didn't hear theirs..?" [5:50 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "WE NEED KUBO'S DIAMOND SHOVEL." [5:50 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "That.... Understandable- But that could've been vital evidence..." [5:50 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel stares at Uzo. [5:51 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "God- Damn it. Okay, we can focus on the other clues, for the time being." [5:52 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "I doubt the boar would let us out for some friggin' buried card that's probably a lie." [5:53 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel is fiddling with her hands a bit, looking down nervously. "But... consider what Hana had speculated. What if that one had a truth?" [5:53 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "How the fuck would we figure out which one is the truth, then?" [5:54 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Now Hazel wishes Keiko had been able to tell them the killers name... death is fickle. [5:54 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "I don't know, Lake." [5:54 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "...well then, we can perhaps come back to it." [5:54 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: ? [5:54 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Anyone of us could've lied, but we can look back to it."

:consentbullet: Consent. [5:54 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Ummm, I have, like, one more thing I noticed. I dunno if it's important, though." [5:54 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Oh? Hazel looks up at Hana. [5:54 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "Hm?" [5:55 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Keiko-chan was holding a little piece of cloth in her hand I think? It looked like it was torn off of...umm, something. Oh, it was darkly colored. I dunno what color it was, but it wasn't light." [5:56 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "Maybe it came from... The killer's clothes..?" [5:56 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Oh fuckshit! [5:56 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: Uzoamaka looks down at her mainly neon clothes. [5:57 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana doesn't look down at her clothes. She's wearing bright pink. [5:57 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel wears bright blue, so! That's all good. Either way, she continues on. "How dark?" She hopes that question makes sense. [5:57 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': "Violet isn't dark, so I'm out of the question." [5:57 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Ummm...I dunno, dark? That's all I could see in the cellar light." [5:57 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "Right, right..." Hazel nods. [5:58 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: Cerviel shifted. Anxious. [5:58 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "You good, Cerviel-kun?" [5:58 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "That narrows it to a few of us..." [5:58 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: "I'm.. okay." [5:59 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Trail and pillar." She taps her ID. [5:59 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: "Oh! Pillar!" [5:59 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "Oh, I got a look at that!"

[6:00 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: :cluebullet: "I saww... one of the two big pillars in the foyer! It had a small bloodstain on it, yess." [6:00 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "..."

"So this means..." [6:00 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "...?" [6:00 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "...Ohhh..." [6:00 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Well, think 'bout it, why would blood appear in the foyer and bedroom halls?" [6:01 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: "I dunno." [6:01 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "She was killed elsewhere... and then dragged to the cellar..." [6:01 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Okay." [6:01 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: :testitheorybullet: "Maybe the killer... for lack of a gentler word, bashed Taisei-san's head against the pillar?" [6:02 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: :consentbullet: "Yeah!" [6:02 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "And not with the cane?" Hana interjected. [6:02 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Well, there were two wounds." [6:02 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana blinked. "Ohhh..." [6:03 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "Ohhhh." Ok. [6:03 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: :cluebullet: "Cuz, like, there’s a very, VERY obvious trail of blood leading from the pillar Renzo-san mentioned and outside on the grass by the cellar." [6:03 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Yeah! Alright, we got the big picture." [6:04 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana claps her hands together. [6:04 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel smacks her lips. [6:05 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana clears her throat. [6:05 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "So, we can conclude the culprit and Keiko met up about that secret thing, the culprit kills Keiko, then dragged her to the root cellar, yes?" [6:05 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: Uzoamaka turns her attention to Hana. [6:05 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana looks at her. "What? I had something caught in my throat." [6:05 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Oh, sorry, thought you were like, signaling something." [6:05 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "Why would the killer drag her?" [6:06 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: "Perhaps, they are not strong enough to carry our friend Keiko..?" [6:06 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "Well-- I mean, why to the cellar?" [6:06 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: "I dunno." [6:07 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel doesn't know either. [6:07 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': "To hide the body probably. Just a guess." [6:07 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Because it's spooky." [6:07 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "I was suspecting the same thing." Not you Hana. [6:07 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "The dungeon woulda fit more, 'cause of edge factor." [6:07 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana nods. [6:08 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': { "Not even a killer would wanna go in there..." } [6:08 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "Maybe get Taisei-san scared...? What the fuck, man..." [6:08 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "Maybe... they knew she was still alive. And they dragged her down there to make sure she wouldn't get help before she died..." [6:09 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: It seems the killer is a bit of a bastard, confirmed. Hazel shudders. [6:09 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: Uzoamaka frowns. [6:09 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "What the fuuuuuuck..." [6:09 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "That is quite dark... I dislike the notion of one of us doing something so cruel, during a murder such as this..." [6:10 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "...is there anything we've missed?" [6:10 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "..." [6:10 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Let's take the bloody handprint into account." [6:10 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel doesn't have any clues, I'm just going off the skin of my teeth. She tilts her head. [6:11 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Hime-honey, where'd you say the bloody handprint was again?"

@Hana Minami! | baby chain [6:15 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Oh! It was, ummm...like, leading to the right side of the bedroom hall. Hah. Pretty accurate, right?" [6:18 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "The right side, huh?"

"..."

Mr. Brightside starts playing in her head as she takes out her ID. [6:19 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazelisperfectlyfine。 [6:19 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: She takes out the map of the first floor, using her pen to "draw" a box around it.

[6:19 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel　points。 [6:20 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Can we say the culprit was from this area?" [6:20 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: ａａああ [6:20 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: ”Yes．” [6:20 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "I guess so...?" [6:20 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: "Was it leading to there or away from there?" [6:20 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': "I'd say it's a fair assumption." [6:20 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: hazeliｓｐｅａｋｉｎｇｉｎｔｏｎｇｕｅｓ [6:21 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Away, I'd assume." [6:21 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: "Then... yes." [6:21 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Perhaps the killer's route was like this."

[6:21 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Specifically from Keiko's door, I think." [6:22 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Correction, it wasn't away." [6:22 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "But was the handprint here's or the killers...? Either one of them could've made it--" [6:22 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel stops speaking in tongues. [6:22 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel notices something, but her sudden godspeak was so intense she needs a moment to point it out. [6:22 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Another correction,"

[6:22 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "This was probably the killer's way back in." [6:23 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Disregard the past stuff, I got it confuzzled." [6:23 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: { "Ehh.."} [6:23 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "So they made it coming back?" [6:24 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': "Makes more sense now." [6:24 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "I mean, I'd assume so, since there weren't any more bodies at the scene." [6:24 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "Do you suppose..." [6:24 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel trails off. [6:24 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hazel tilts her head at Hana. Ok oops [6:24 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana tilts her head at Hazel. [6:26 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "Regarding the-- the rooms. Shouldn't there be something to take into account with the people placed nearby her room...?" She doesn't know. [6:28 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "There's only five people there who hasn't be involved in a previous trial... and only a few wears dark clothes that could match the cloth in Keiko's hand." [6:29 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: So. She glances from Kubo to Cerviel a few times, since they're right beside Keiko in the dorms. [6:29 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Well, Kubo is playing Minecraft." [6:30 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: Cerviel has been quiet for a while. He pulls his doll closer. [6:30 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Fair point. She looks at Cerviel, since Minecraft is on Kubo's side. [6:30 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "..."

"...Cerviel." [6:30 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: "Cerveee?" [6:31 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: He looked away uncomfortably. "Yes?" [6:31 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "..." [6:31 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Come to mention it, Cerviel's "secret" wasn't brought up?" [6:31 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "It...wasn't." [6:31 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': "The only one that wasn't." [6:32 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: "Oouuuahhh.." [6:32 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "..." [6:32 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "................" [6:32 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana clears her throat. [6:32 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "And Keiko can't tell us the secret she got--... The one we found could've been planted." [6:32 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: Renzo coughs. [6:33 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: Cerviel's eyes are darting from person to person as they speak. "Hold on.." [6:33 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': "Hey boar, I got a question: Everybody got somebody else's 'secret,' right?" [6:34 PM] Monoboar!: "Yeh." [6:34 PM] Monoboar!: "Oink."

[6:34 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': "So it would be fair to assume that Cerviel got somebody else's, not his own, right?" [6:34 PM] Monoboar!: "Yoink." [6:34 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: THANK you. [6:36 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': "So it would also be fair to assume that Cerviel dug up his card that he got and switched it with Keiko's card that she got, hiding his own, right?" He's not looking at Monoboar for this. He's looking at Cerviel disappointedly. [6:36 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Dang. Never thought he'd do it." Hana says, automatically assuming. [6:36 PM] Monoboar!: "You tell me." He turns his head to Cerviel.

[6:37 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: Renzo is like :pits: rn. They're still coughing a little. [6:37 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel turns to Cerviel. [6:39 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: Cerviel shrunk under the look. He's about to cry.

"I.. I have my card." He slowly pulled it out of the pocket of his shorts, hands shaking as he read it aloud.

What's up? Cerviel killed someone and took his identity! What a face off! He didn't bother mocking the boar. He stared down at his stand. [6:40 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "...What?" [6:40 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "IS THAT ONE THE ONE THAT'S TRUE?" Hana blurted out. "You're not saying it's not true!" [6:40 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: He flinched. "It's not true, but.. Miss Taisei didn't believe me." [6:40 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "SO YOU JUST FUCKING KILLED HER? IS THAT IT?" [6:40 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "Oh my fucking god." [6:40 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "You-" [6:41 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "And you. Dragged her while she was barely alive." [6:41 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Wh... What is the truth, then!?" [6:41 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: Cerviel wrapped his arms around himself. "Please let me explain.. please." [6:41 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "...O-Okay, okay..." [6:41 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': "After I told her not to confront the person her card was about..." He shook his head. "She went and did it anyway... Look at what it did." [6:47 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: He took a deep breath, squeezing his doll.

"Miss Taisei asked me to meet her last night in the foyer. I didn't know who the note was from, but.. I wanted to trust that everything would be okay if I met with whoever it was." He had to pause to wipe his face.

"She.. wanted to confront me about my secret. She said I was a danger to everyone and that she was going to tell you all. She just.. wouldn't listen to me!" He held the doll even tighter. "I got so scared.. she just kept yelling at me. So.. I pushed her." He didn't make eye contact with anyone, pressing on.

"She hit her head on the pillar pretty hard and I got even more scared. She was going to tell everyone that I tried to hurt her, so I grabbed the closest thing and.." He trailed off for a moment. "I didn't know she was still alive when I brought her to the cellar I just.. wanted to hide her. I couldn't.." He trailed off again. Words were hard. [6:48 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "...Sooo...you killed her instead of trying to explain to everyone that she was wrong about your secret?"

[6:48 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "Y-You killed my girlfriend over a misunderstanding." [6:49 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel just puts her face in her hand. [6:49 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: Words couldn't describe how she was feeling right now. [6:49 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "...SO BASICALLY, WHAT I JUST FUCKING SAID?" [6:49 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "This is like, the stupidest motive I've ever heard here."

[6:49 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: "It's not like that!" He couldn't help but raise his voice, backed into the corner. "I didn't want to hurt her! I was scared!" [6:50 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "You think that's an excuse...!?" [6:50 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "The fucking multiple bashes in her head say OTHERWISE." [6:50 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "Instead of helping her you left her to fucking die!" [6:51 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: "No." He wiped his face. "There's no excuse. Miss Taisei.. just wanted to help." [6:51 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: Renzo is still coughing. [6:51 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Scared of people hating you? Huh?" she leaned forward in her stand. "Why didn't you let her go? She wasn't gonna hurt you! Did it look like she was gonna hurt you? I don't think so, killer! Why'd you drag her to the dungeon? You're sick!" [6:51 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Root cellar." She corrected. [6:51 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "Same thing." [6:52 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "She walks with a fucking cane! She couldn't have done anything to you that you couldn't have talked your way out of!" [6:52 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: "She wanted to lock me up. I.. she said I was too dangerous to allow to go free." [6:53 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: "YOU COULD'VE FUCKING--" Lake breathed deeply through her nose. [6:53 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "Alright, let me get this straight,"

"You killed her, instead of using words in the Japanese language to clear up something Monoboar made up."

[6:53 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "So this means she wouldn't have even killed you in the first place, Cerviel." Hazel stamps her foot. [6:53 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana snorted. "Lock you up where? In the root cellar? I'm sure someone would've found you there! You wouldn't have killed her if you didn't have some kind of sense in your brain that you were capable of that. I'm right and you know it!" [6:54 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "My girlfriend's dead--" Artemis let out a rough wheeze, leaning against her stand's railing. "She's dead over something you could've used your words to solve--" [6:54 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "And-- and... Cerviel, we could've helped you if she did something like that... her choice was brash and stupid, but it was nothing to kill her over... I have no words." [6:56 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: Cerviel gently set down his doll. "None of you will understand." He wiped his face again. "It.. doesn't matter what I say." [6:56 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "I don't wanna understand." Hana says coldly. [6:57 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "No, luckily I hope I'd never understand feeling obligated to kill." [6:57 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: Lake leaned against her podium, face in her hands as she took deep, deep breaths.

"More innocent fucking people dead over some bullshit stirred up by some fucking freak," Lake growled to herself, seething. [6:57 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: "I understand completely." She hissed, scowling. "We're all fucking well-known people! Don't you think someone's tried to slander our fucking names before?! We understand! Don't go spouting bullshit like this!" [6:58 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: He curled in on himself, staring down at the floor. "Can we vote then? I just.. want it to be over." [6:58 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "E-Even so, from what Sir William said," Hazel clears her throat. "Lady Keiko did something... thoughtless. In her stead of wanting to protect others, she got herself killed instead... why does this happen?" [6:58 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "Why did she have to do that? Why did you--!?" She turns to Cerviel, pent up, but says nothing more. [6:59 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: He doesn't say anything else. Cerviel closes his eyes, tears still falling down his face. [6:59 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: {"Waaah! Gonna cry, killer?"} [7:00 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel huffs. [7:01 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: {"Stop that! You don't get to fucking cry!"} [7:01 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: He's crying anyways. [7:01 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: {"Waaah! Waaah! Uuu, I wish my mommy was here!"} [7:01 PM] Monoboar!: "Let's vote!"

On cue, voting screens power on at your stands, and a selection of students is displayed by rows and columns.

"Who the friggidy frag is the blackened? Decide now! Gwahahaha!"

@Alive [7:01 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: Uzoamaka plants her finger on Cerviel's icon. [7:02 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: Cerviel votes for himself. [7:02 PM] Lake Kawaguchi |: With a bit of hesitation, Lake voted for Cerviel before looking away from the screen. [7:02 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana hesitates for a second before tapping Cerviel's thing. Ugh, she might be pissed as hell but she still doesn't want to kill someone. [7:02 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': Willy votes for Cerviel. [7:02 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: Artemis nearly punches her screen out of her flurry of emotions. She votes for Cerviel. [7:03 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel taps Cerviel's face rapidly. [7:03 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: On the panel~ [7:04 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: Renzo is currently clutching their chest with their hands, so they just drop their head onto the panel, because in their mind that was the next logical step to take. Cerviel just happens to get picked, how lucky! [7:06 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Monoboar? [7:06 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: Give him a moment. He's doing his best. [7:06 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Ok valid. [7:07 PM] Monoboar!: "AAAAAND- The votes are in!"

After everyone had voted, the screens flicker black, and proceed to light up in anticipation for each profile.

"Whomst is it? Hmmmm? The killer who's totally not bawling, who could it beeee?"

7:09 PM] Monoboar!: A musical tune plays out as it lights up on the fox trainer's portrait.

"You bet yer snrk'n butts that it's Cerviel Winter who made Keiko bite the bullet! Or should I say, cane 'n pillar. Gwehehe."

@Alive  

[7:10 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "That doesn't make sense!" [7:10 PM] Monoboar!: "Do you think I understand what I say." [7:10 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "Ugh, no." [7:11 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: Cerviel took a deep breath. "I deserve whatever I get but please.. someone take care of my foxes when you get out. They.. don't deserve to suffer because of me." [7:11 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel sighs. [7:11 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "I see... foxes." Hazel repeats. "What are their names?" [7:11 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "And... address." [7:12 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: And credit card information. [7:12 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: And social security number. [7:12 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "I'm gonna take them with my friends and we're gonna dye them pink with kool-aid so they'll be all cute!" [7:12 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "...Hana." [7:13 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "What? It's plausible!" [7:13 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: He looked up at Hazel. "Their names are Zuriel, Micah, Theo, and Gabriel. I don't.. have an address. I lived in the forest, but you can find a sanctuary called Angel's Haven. It's.. there." He curled around himself again. "Please don't hurt them." [7:13 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "What the hell? I'm not a killer like you, I won't hurt your sweet babies!" [7:13 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: "They'll be safe with us." [7:13 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "...we'd never hurt an animal for no reason." Hazel sighs. She bats Hana's shoulder. [7:14 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: "Or... at all, really. I hope." She eyes everyone suspiciously. [7:14 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: "...Sorry." Hana says. [7:14 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: Uzo should be the one batting since she's right next to Hana. [7:14 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: "Thank you.." He looked up at Monoboar. "I'm.. ready now." [7:14 PM] Monoboar!: "No other last weeeeerds?" He tilts his head. [7:14 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: She bats her in spirit. [7:15 PM] I'm sorry, Miss Taisei: He shook his head. "All I want to make sure is that my friends are taken care of." [7:15 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: But you killed one of them, Hana wants to say, but she holds off. [7:17 PM] Monoboar!: "Kay." With no further hesitation, he slams the gavel right then and there with a bright grin. "Get prepared, oink, fer some JUICY PUNISH-MA-MENT!"

Cerviel Winter has been found guilty. Time for punishment.

@Alive

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BzFbB_hvBIfBkSS0d58QgdEaYwMPKaCYzIQ8tTN1qnM/edit?usp=sharing

[7:21 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': "..." [7:21 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: Renzo isn't looking up at the execution as it goes on. They just keep their head down and try and drown out any outside sound, to little avail. They couldn't bring themselves to watch people die anymore. They didn't even know how they managed to watch before. [7:21 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: Uzoamaka blinks, wincing at the scenery and audio.

"..."

"Jails are better than executions, Monoboar." She huffs out in a fit. "This all could've been avoided, if it weren't for you causin' a damn domino effect."

"When the hell is this ending!" She throws her arms out, then lets them fall on her side. [7:21 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana didn't look as usual. [7:22 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: Artemis is silent, watching Cerviel's untimely demise.

....

A familiar feeling settled back in her chest. So similar, yet so different. "Can we go now." [7:23 PM] Monoboar!: Monoboar chuckles at the scenery, playing around with his gavel. [7:23 PM] Monoboar!: "Yeah, yeah, hang on." [7:23 PM] Monoboar!: He hops down to the elevator, opening its doors with a push of a button. [7:23 PM] Hana Minami! | baby chain: Hana scuttles into the elevator. [7:24 PM] Hazel 🔖 final stretch!: Hazel follows suit. Fuck this place. [7:24 PM] 🔫Artemis🔫| What the FUCK: Artemis hobbled into the elevator. [7:24 PM] Willy Wonder | 'Splorin': Willy gets in the elevator he looks at everybody else as he does, then bringing his glance towards the floor. [7:25 PM] 🔥 ZOZO! 🔥 Are Ya Mining Son?: Renzo lifts their head as they hear the door open, and look over at Cerviel's stand. They notice that he left his doll there. Was that intentional? Did Cerviel say he was gonna do that? Their head hurts too much to remember. Still, they cross the room to take the doll from his stand, and take it with them into the elevator. [7:26 PM] UZOAMAKA! 🖊 WOW!: Uzoamaka enters as well. [7:28 PM] Monoboar!: As the doors close, you all ascend back up.

Another one gone from the roster.

TRIAL 5 - END

[viralhottopics]

28 Men And Women Share The Most Shocking Thing They Ever Accidentally Walked In On

1. Young at heart

I was living with my grandparents when I was about 19 years old, and I came home early one day from work. I walked into the bathroom and saw my grandfather who was like 80 at the time, butt naked staring at himself in the mirror. He was smiling and shaking around his schlong.

After we both made eye-contact, we both said “oh shit”…and just turned around….

I’ll never forget that image in my head as long as I live.

2. Dad The Tattoo Artist

About 6 years ago when I was in high school I walked out of my room to see my father putting a temporary tattoo of a spider on my mom’s ass. We made very brief eye contact before I did a U-turn back into my room. Parents are weird, man.

3. Mom’s Best Friend

When I was 8 I walked in on my dad banging my mom’s best friend in my bed. She was babysitting and he was supposed to be at work. They were loud, and I went to see what the noise was. My dad screamed at me to go away, so I got out of there without actually seeing them.

I told my mom when she got home, and she ended up spending the night in jail for breaking her best friend’s nose. When she got home she beat the shit out of my dad with a baseball bat. Wasn’t the first or last time he cheated on her either.

I got an awesome new PrincessJasmine bedding set out of it, though.

4. Grandma, On The Phone

When I was 14, I went over to my grandmother’s house and came bounding in like normal. To my surprise, she was sitting on the phone – completely naked. She screamed. I screamed. I quickly turned and exited the house. She called me later that day.

“I hope you don’t think that all women are saggy and old like me.”

5. Jock Itch

I lived in a two bedroom apartment with 4 guys so it was 2 guys per room. I usually left first because of my job. One day, I realized I had forgotten some important documents and came back to get them. I opened up the door to my room and found my roommate, laying naked on his bed, his legs up in the air, and blow drying his balls. He later explained to me that he had some sort of jock itch and needed to keep that area “moisture free”. That image is burned into my brain to this day and on his birthday, every year, I send him a picture of a blow dryer.

6. A Rabbit makes a delivery

I walked in on a couple having sex. Wouldn’t be that bad, except I was dressed as a giant rabbit delivering chocolate bunnies for Easter.

7. Family Trauma

I once walked in on my sister-in-law licking my brother’s asshole in my parents’ bathroom. Quite traumatizing.

8. It Was A Nice House, Otherwise

I (25F) was being toured around a house I was planning to rent a room in from Craigslist by the owner. The last bedroom door was closed, so he knocked and opened the door to reveal a husky man with headphones on aggressively jerking off. I still rented the room.

9. The Great Outdoors

So I’m out tent camping at a state park. It’s early morning (maybe 6ish), I need the restrooms down the path. I grab my shaving kit, start walking the 500 yards. About halfway, I hear a noise, and look to my left…

…directly into the eyes of dude hammering away at his girl doggy style inside their tent, with the door open.

I pause, kinda shocked. Dude waves at me. I wave back. Girl looks up, she waves. I wave back. They continue fucking. I continue walking.

10. Communication is key

Walked into my girlfriend’s place unannounced, found a guy balls deep in her ass in the living room. That was the day she went from girlfriend to ex real fast. If she wanted anal she could have just asked.

11. Sketch Has No Limits

A “walking in” story from a party I was at when we were all about 17-18. A couple of hours in, everyone had turned up except one of the birthday girl’s best friends. She eventually calls and says she’s out at a club and can she bring the guy she’s met – whose name is apparently “Sketch”.

Half an hour later they turn up, pretty drunk. After about 15 mins, we realise they have vanished upstairs. Birthday girl doesn’t really want them fooling around in her bedroom but no one wants to walk in on them either. So we send the drunkest guy up to call them down.

He toddles off upstairs and then about a minute later comes back into the living room looking pale and distraught. He sits down. We ask what happened.

“I went up and opened the door… and he was going down on her… and then he looked over at me… and I think he was a vampire! There was blood all over his mouth. So I left.”

Turned out they’d started fooling around, it became clear it was her time of the month but “Sketch” decided to power on through. We’d accidentally sent up the one person who, in a drunken haze, was not mentally equipped to deal with this at all. He looked broken for the rest of the night.

12. “You Do You, Man”

So this happened last semester. But I got home around 11/1130pm and no one was home, I’m like alright whatever. I go to my room, throw my stuff down and grab my water bottle, I walk into the kitchen to fill it (where the front door is – small 3 bdrm apartment through the school) and in walks this girl and I’m like wtf is this girl doing in my house. We make eye contact. I realize it’s my roommate in full drag. Fake boobs, wig, high heels, all of it. All he says is “I can explain…” Already having seen a lot of this kid’s oddities, I just say “Don’t bother, you do you, man.” And I just went to fill up my bottle and continued to play civ or something the rest of the night. He now occasionally just chills in drag and talks makeup and clothes with my other roommate’s girlfriend. I’m writing this sitting next to his 7ft unicycle propped against the wall. It’s been an interesting year to say the least.

13. Knock First

In college one of my friend/roommates had a girlfriend we all liked. Cool chick.

Except I somehow walked in on her shitting 5 different times in a year. It got so ridiculous that I got antsy about going to any bathroom with her around. It took a year for me to stop yelling through bathroom doors before I went inside.

14. Hide And Seek Goes Terribly Wrong

Didn’t really walk in but the most traumatizing time. When I was 6 I had friends over for a play date and I went to go hide underneath my grandparents’ bed with my friend. My grandparents came into the room after us so they had no idea we were in there so they started undressing and goton the bed. Sounds started. I started crying but they were basically deaf so they couldn’t hear me. But my mom walked by the room and thought she heard me crying so she walks in. Grandparents start screaming at my mom. Mom starts screaming at grandparents I run out from under the bed with my friend trailing behind me. It was awful.

15. A Father/Daughter Moment

One time I, then a teenaged girl, walked in on my father masturbating to porn. I could tell from the dialogue was porn that I had masturbated to several hours earlier. I didn’t see anything other than dad throw the bed sheets over himself and look incredibly sheepish. That day I learned we both like lesbian porn, however, we have not bonded over this incident.

16. The Resident Assistant Does His Rounds

I used to be a Resident Assistant. I was doing room inspections with my partner RA. I had given all my residents over a week notice, taped a letter to their door alerting them that I would be coming around. Everything was going fine until we got to room 312. I still remember the room number to this day.

We knocked on the door 3 times with no answer. I announced that I was keying into the dorm. We get inside, everything’s normal. I go to the individual bedrooms and knock 3 times again. As soon as I announce I’m keying in, my resident opens the door in just gym shorts.

“Hey what’s up?”

“Just doing our scheduled room checks.”

“Oh, ok. Come on in.” Without even hesitating or giving me a warning on what I was about to walk into.

As he opens the door I see a naked man dart across the room and into the bathroom. I didn’t know he was gay, so that was surprising. But then as I walk into the room and look to my left I see a tiny Asian man was standing in the corner with a laptop in front of him. He was only wearing a cheetah print thong. I quickly avert my eyes and look to my right and I see a camera on a tripod.

I dart out of there immediately yelling “you passed, have a nice day.” They could’ve had kilos of coke in the corner I wouldn’t have cared.

17. Cocaine Is A Hell Of A Drug

I was 12, at a sleepover with a good friend of mine. It was around mid-afternoon. I was getting myself some water when I come back to see my friend getting lectured about how messy his room was (it was immaculate) and how he should take responsibility for things (he did). His dad is pulling up carpet fuzz and yelling at him for it. My friend is crying. I kinda pretended that I didn’t walk in on that, and hung out in the kitchen reading cereal box ingredients.

As soon as the dad walks out, his girlfriend comes in through the door in tears. She had totaled her Corvette running a red light, and now the boyfriend was hysterical, yelling at her, and us. They go to their room and there’s this banging and fighting noise. Then everything was normal.

Took me fucking forever to realize they were addicted to cocaine.

18. Heroic Girlfriend

We’d gotten our friend a bit too drunk for this birthday. Walked in on his girlfriend cleaning him up after he had apparently shit himself. Amazing woman was trying to keep it a secret so as not to have him embarrassed.

Called him the next day and instructed him to marry her. They’ve a son in college now.

19. Eighties Nostalgia

8 years old, almost 9, It was my birthday in a week and I was all hyped up because I thought we were going to go out for pizza later that day. In those days, it was a big deal. Wtf was $5 pizza? This was 1987 and Round Table Pizza was better than God. Anywho, strolled right into my parents’ room. My mom and dad, butt ass nekkid on the bed in the middle of making the beast with two backs. Except, not two backs. Three. One of mom’s friends striding mid-step into the master bath like ninja fast. Mom’s on the bed, straddling, and oh god what a matted mess. Dad right behind her, also straddling. Lock eyes with mom, and in a valiant attempt to diffuse whatever shock I was in, decides she’s gonna play it cool. She leans forward, drops a fairly epic sized double ended dildo, grabs my dad’s feet, picks them up and starts singing “row, row, row your boat.”

Obviously, I screamed like a banshee and ran for my life. Almost 40, still can’t go camping without flashbacks.

20. Mom, The Hypocrite

I walked in on my mom watching the “Anal Princess vol 2” tape she had confiscated from me the day before…

No, I never got my tape back.

I also never again caught shade for watching porn.

21. Answering the call light

I worked as a CNA in a long-term care facility. A call light was going off so I entered the room to find an old man with a Foley catheter jacking it in his wife’s face. They both yelled at me for going in the room, even though the call light was on. It was just a weird sight to behold.

22. Unsanitary

When I was about 13 years old, I ran inside from playing touch football with my friends to go to the bathroom. I really had to piss. Now I’m not much of a sportsman–I just liked to play for the fun of hanging out with my friends–but my step-brother was a real shut-in. He rarely bathed, had a long greasy mullet, and always wore his jean jacket that had a Metallica patch ironed onto the back.

We were the same age, by the way.

So I run upstairs and throw open the door…and stop dead in my tracks. The toilet was in one corner of the room, and the sink was next to it about an arm’s length away. There squatted my step-brother, bracing his body weight on the sink and the back of the toilet. Between his legs stood the plunger suctioned to the linoleum floor. The end of the plunger was up his ass.

23. “I Thought You Were In The Shower”

I used to sleep at my cousin’s house all the time. I was raised by my mother and she’s a nurse, so I spent many nights there.

One night when I was 12 I was at his house. It was just us and his three younger siblings. When I stayed there I crashed in his room. So, around 9 pm I say I’m going in the shower. His shower used to take a long time for the water to become hot, so I turned the water on and went into the living room with my towel on and watched “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” for about 10 minutes. Then I hear a bunch of shit falling in my cousin’s room, so I walk towards it.

I open the door and there’s my cousin, completely naked with a dish towel wrapped around his erect dick, and he’s knocking everything down in the room with his dick. I’m talking sports figurines, a lot of books, VHS tapes, video games, basically anything you could think of that would be in a 13-year-old’s room. So I say “what the fuck cuz” he just looked at me calmly and said, “I thought you were in the shower, I was going to clean it up, I always do”

Never mentioned it again.

24. Naughty Until The Very End

Do you know there are people in their mid-80’s still having hot, sweaty, hair pulling, ass spanking, dirty-talking sex?

I know there are. I accidentally walked through a room where my 80+year-old friend was banging his 80+year-old girlfriend. They didn’t know I was there and it took a full minute to get out of the room. Apparently, an 80-year-old woman can still be a “naughty girl who needs a good, hard fucking.”

You go, my man Howard!

25. Unsurprising Somehow

Years ago I was sharing a room with my homophobic brother, he is one of those guys that consider himself the alpha male but is mostly just talk. I came early from work and I found him using a dildo in his ass….to this day I can’t look at any penis shape thing without having flashbacks.

26. Sis borrows laptop for “school work”

I thought nobody was home when I got home and remembered my sister borrowed my laptop to do her school work the night before. I go to her room to get it and she has it playing porn while she is pounding herself with a cucumber. I’ve never run out of the house so fast. Went and hung out with a friend til later when everyone would be home. Never mentioned what I saw to anyone until now.

27. Dad Was Not Amused

When I was a young boy (5 or 6 maybe) I remember going into my parents’ room at night to hop in bed with them and my father being completely naked when I just ran in and hopped in bed.

My mom thought it was the funniest thing ever and I can remember my dad being in a bad mood the entire time I laid there until (very quickly) he got me out of the room and back into mine.

I remember asking “why is daddy naked” and my mom said “Oh, he is just going to take a bath now”

1) My dad didn’t take baths 2) I only realized about 20 years later that I most likely just walked in on my parents about to get it on and my dad was in a bad mood because “fuck this kid” right?

28. Morning Glory

I was the one “walked in” on:

In high school I snuck out of the house late at night to meet some friends and let’s just say I was very hungry when I got home. So I raided the kitchen pantry and took the only two edible things that were ready to eat – plain tortilla chips and plain hershey’s chocolate bars.

I go up to my room and start eating the chocolate and chips. Mind you I sleep naked and it was a little warm in the house, so I’m naked on top of all of the blankets and with the state of mind I was in I was making a pretty big mess. Crumbs and chocolate bits getting all over my chest. …Well, then I pass out.

Here comes the problem. I have always been hard to wake up. We’re talking now I have to set 12 alarms every morning for work. So every morning my parents (mom until this incident) would come to my room, open my door, turn on my light, say time to get up and close the door. Turning on the light was the only way to get me up and out of bed.

So, my poor mother comes to my room to wake 17 year old me up. And as a 17 year old boy, who is just waking up, I was FULLY ERECT. Door opens, light flips on, and there is her son laying like a dead starfish on his bed, chips crumbs and melted chocolate all over his chest, with a RAGING boner. Not only that but from her angle she is staring right down the devil’s alley at my taint/balls/boner.

So she screams at the top of her lungs. This scares the shit out of me, so I wake up and start screaming at the top of my lungs. Now she’s kind of running in place flapping her arms around screaming, I’m screaming naked in horror in my bed, and my dad comes bounding over thinking something is wrong and bursts the door fully open. He yells “OH WHAT THE FUCK!” I try to yell “GET OUT” and cover myself but really just manage to yell, “GEEEEEEROUFFF!!!!” as I rip the blanket up and fall off the bed to the side.

Breakfast was quiet that morning.

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