#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''
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inkskinned · 2 years ago
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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sesskag1postchallenge · 5 years ago
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Ch7 - Operation Grandpup Drop (A SitBoy Discord Crack Fic)
Warning this story is M bordering NSFW
Chapter 7:
Jaf Jaf08/11/2019
Salty air pressed to Kagome's lips, the tang strong and telling of where she was even before she awoke. As she slowly pulled from unconsciousness into consciousness, the rhytmic rocking of the world around her almost lulled her back to sleep. But when she finally opened her eyes she discovered why the to and fro of her surroundings was a reality and not the side effect of a twilight waking.
 Stormie Like Weather08/11/2019
Stumbling from below deck up to the helm, Kagome caught a most breath taking sight. Shirtless, hair billowing through the wind like another sail, muscles bulging as he turned the massive steering wheel, was Sesshomaru. The boat rocked hard, knocking her from her fantasy with a fierce roll of her stomach. She launched herself to the wooden rail and retched over the side. A large hand found her back while another found her forehead, she could feel his sigh exit his chest as they were pressed so close. "Kagome your warmth is too great for a human." "I have a fever?" She whimpered. "Yes. Go back below, and I will find land. You require food, rest, and water. As your mate, I will provide for you." "M-mate?" The world turned fuzzy. "Soon, yes." He caught her fainting body against solid muscle, the effect wasted since she was unconscious.
Walter20508/11/2019
What seemed like an eternity later, Kagome awoke. She was parched and felt weak beyond belief, but at least she no longer felt seasick or feverish as she compared the temperature of her forehead to that of the wooden teaked deck. 
 Gingerly she rose from the bed and made her way through the ship topside onto the deck. There she found Sesshomaru, naked except for his loincloth and horribly sunburned. Glancing around, she started feeling green again as land was nowhere in sight. She turned again to him to ask what had happened and that's when she noticed his odd behavior. 
 "Boat, boat, boat," he said over and over again, in almost a whisper. He sat there cross legged style, staring at the mainmast with a far away look in his eyes. 
 "Ummm, Sesshomaru?" Kagome asked tenatively as she approached the seated figure. Upon hearing his name, Sesshomaru's head snapped around and locked onto her. He pounced on her then, trapping her flat on the deck as his head came in close to hers, his eyes going wide as he stared with his yellow eyes less than three inches from her equally wide blue ones, the difference being the terror in hers and the determined madness in his. 
 "Ka...Boooooaaaaaatttttttttttt," it sounded like he started to say her name before he drew out 'Boat' again. Just as quickly as he had pounced her he was off of her again, by the mainmast running his hand up and down it as he resumed his 'boat' chant. 
 Getting up, Kagome spied a cup nearby and crawled over to it, wondering just what he had been eating and drinking the past few days or however long it had been. Upon sniffing and gently sipping the remaining contents of the cup, she discovered to her horror that the delirious Sesshomaru had been drinking seawater for kami knows how long now. 
 How was she getting out of this mess? Although, as thirsty as she was herself, it did look and taste pretty good...
 Slayer08/11/2019
"Umm Sesshomaru? Are you ok?" Kagome slowly walked over to him.
 Walter20508/11/2019
She was near frantic as she didn't know how she could help him. If only she had something other than more seawater to give him to drink, she might be able to snap him out of it, but she didn't see anything anywhere else on the boat. 
 Absently she rubbed her swollen breasts while she tried to think of a solution. Sometime after she had stepped in to help take care of Miroku and Sango's Infant Twins she had apparently started lactating and...her train of thought suddenly stopped along with her absent rubbing. 
 Could breast milk work? What if she could channel her own purification powers into it, maybe she could cleanse his system using miko milk? She frowned as apprehension welled up within her. She really really didn't want to do this, but letting him be as he was would almost certainly spell doom for the both of them. 
 After undoing her top she slowly approached him, arms out but not saying anything before getting in front of him. Gingerly she settled into a straddling position on top of him, kneeling over his cross legged form as she reluctantly blocked his view of the boat. 
 "Boat...," Sesshomaru growled at her as she obstructed his view, his claws elongating as he brought one hand up towards her. 
 "Boat, Boat, Boat," Kagome repeated as she pointed at her right breast, before bending forward towards his mouth. 
 'Please don't bite, Please don't bite, Please don't bite' 
 But the 'docking' was successful and thankfully he started suckling without much urging. Sighing softly, Kagome recalled her training and started praying while internally focusing her concentration and soon her upper body was aglow with pink light that seemed to be flowing into Sesshomaru's mouth as his sunburn began to heal.
 'Demonic healing? Please tell me he's returning to normal then?' Kagome thought as she broke out into a hard sweat. 
 Then his eyes, which had closed when he started feeding, suddenly opened, revealing his normal and stoically cold expression.
 Stormie Like Weather08/11/2019
Sesshomaru eyed the miko on the other side of the ship's deck, the taste of her still on his tongue. She had her fists clutching the front of her shirt as she stared out at the island just up ahead. What a surprise, albeit a pleasant one, she'd given him. Evidently seawater was not safe to drink, noted. And yet, she had thought to save him through her own nourishment. With what she'd one day feed their young with, and with a pang of jealously, he repressed that thought. At the moment, her breasts were his... or would be again as soon as he could win her over enough to attain them. The exquisite taste would not leave his mind as he watched her from the helm. Her face still looked red as she leaned back against the mast. Her hair was up in a messy bun, leaving her neck open for his imagination. As grateful as he felt for her assistance, he couldn't help but feel cursed at the same time. As much as he had wanted her before, it had now turned into an avarice that made him ache deep in his bones.
 Walter20508/11/2019
The island was tropical in nature and as they grew closer it appeared to actually be a series of islands ringing an ancient volcano that has sunken into the sea or an atoll as you would otherwise call it. Kagome was wowed at the crystal clear water that displayed luscious coral reefs and dazzling arrays of tropical fish as the Junk just barely cleared the reefs on high tide and coasted through a small channel into the lagoon before dropping anchor. 
 Together the two of them took a hastily assembled raft to a nearby shore that had palm trees and lush vegetation. Within thirty minutes Kagome had constructed a hasty shelter while Sesshomaru had killed a boar and gathered several coconuts that he easily pried open.
 Soon they were feasting next to a roaring campfire as the skies began to darken with the fading night. But unbeknownst to them, they were being watched.
 Taki 滝08/11/2019
Suddenly, as thought awaiting the perfect moment, a great Sea-Dragon exploded from the water, and with a quick flick of his tail, flung Sesshomaru to the other side of the island. Now with the female alone, having watched her activities on the boat and desiring her as well.
The dragon coalesced into a being, tall and imposing. She grinned toothily, hissing her pleasure as the female fell off her seat in fear. Quickly, as she had learned to do, the dragon used her impressive and long chinese tail to grab the girl by the waist and bring her closer. "You will make a fine harem girl for myself. And maybe a tasty snack later." She spat a strange mucus webbing out, slapped it on the girl's mouth, and flung them both back into the water, diving deep into the depths. 
Once deep in her cavernous underwater lair, the dragon secured the girl in her pretties harem, and indicated to the servants to prepare her for her... induction that night. She couldn't wait for her snack!
 Stormie Like Weather08/11/2019
Kagome backed up against the sea cave wall as squirmy tentacles held her arms. The sea dragon queen reached out with both hands in a grabby grabby motion toward Kagome's milk filled breasts. "Nooooo!" Kagome shouted as her reiki glittered around her like Edward from Twilight's skin. 
Sesshomaru burst through the water barrier as a sopping wet 50ft dog, snarling. No one would get that milk except for him or his future pups!
 Walter20508/11/2019
A portal opened just then and all stopped what they were doing as Inukimi walked through, looking totally nonplussed. 
 "I have been watching the proceedings for some time through my magical inter-dimensional necklace and while things have been quite entertaining for a while, I'm afraid I must now step in and restore order. Back to the Castle we go," Inukimi said as she knocked both Kagome and Sesshomaru out with her debilitating poison and had her servants carry them back through. 
 Turning to the Sea Dragon, Inukimi offered her apologies for the intrusion and deposited ten six pence on the ground as compensation before going back through and closing the portal.
 Stormie Like Weather08/11/2019
Wiping the drool from her mouth, Kagome woke naked in a pile of silk on top of a futon. She groaned, holding her head. Suddenly a deep snore behind her had her eyes bulging. Slowly, she looked back over her shoulder to see a large mass of white fluff. Her trembling hand reached out, sinking into the down silk. The stripes caught her attention, and she bit her lip. "Sesshomaru?" She questioned.
 imjaneees08/11/2019
Sesshomaru, feeling the stirring of the woman of his dreams, peered an eye open. Noticing her state of undress, his brows furrowed, "Did we rut? If we did, I do not remember and demand a reenactment." His trusty nose was useless for some reason or another so he really couldn't tell.
 Stormie Like Weather08/11/2019
She covered her chest with the first thing she could get her hands on, his tail. "N-no! I don't think so!" She expected that'd lead to being extra sore, but she only felt a bit hungry and thirsty. "I'm just hungry."
 imjaneees08/12/2019
Brows furrowing even lower, Sesshomaru sat up, a sense of contentment settling in the pit of his stomach at seeing his tail covering her bosom. Did she even know he could feel her breasts with the thing? Likely not, and he was not inclined to tell her any time soon. But back to the matter at hand, "Are you certain? I feel strangely....sated. Mother has mentioned spells capable of removing pain. And I still cannot remember and this one demands a reenactment. Preferably now."
 Slayer08/12/2019
"I mean yeah fairly certain. Youd be able to smell it right so if you cant smell it then it didnt happen. Now I need to find the facilities and take care of my morning ritual." Kagome  grabbed a length of silk from the bed and did her best to wrap it around herself before getting up and making her way over to the privy and wash basin.
 Stormie Like Weather08/12/2019
Hackles risen, Sesshomaru decided he could not tell her his nose  was basically useless at the moment. He had more pride than that. Not caring that he was exposed, Sesshomaru ventured out from the room the futon was in and explored there obvious place of captivity. They walls and ceilings suggested this was his mother's sky castle. The cutesy drawings he found scribbled all over the wall in the hall told him that this had once been his sisters' nursery, windowless to keep them from using InuEmi's cloud to sneak out. The same rooms were now being used to keep him contained. The door had been sealed by his Mother's own power. They would not be leaving until she gave in and let them out. With a sigh of exasperation, Sesshomaru walked through the small hall and into a room filled with a buffet of food. Fresh fruits, clear broth, rice, and steamed fish were all neatly placed. The miko did say she was hungry... and so he gathered up two places and brought them back to the room he'd awoken in, only to find her....
 Walter20508/12/2019
Kagome sighed softly in contentment while lying face down on the bed as the topless Inuemi continued to massage the exotic hot oils into her back. “See my dear sister? These work wonders for relieving stress.”
 Stormie Like Weather08/12/2019
Sesshomaru blinked, and here he thought they were trapped in there to procreate, but then why was InuEmi here? The soft moans coming from his miko by the hands of another was enough to drive him insane, and he had to remind himself that while this creature was touching his intended in very intimate ways, said creature was still his flesh and blood. Shoving her to the side and taking up the massage oils, Sesshomaru ignored her hiss of protest and resumed the activity. Surely Kagome would prefer his hands to his siister's. 
"Ahh, what happened, your hands got all rough all of a sudden... are you using something?"
Sesshomaru pouted while his sister grinned evilly.
 Walter20508/12/2019
Inuemi sidled in closer again, carefully scooping some oil out of the bronze pan and pouring it over the back of Sesshomaru’s hands, letting it dribble down his fingers onto the miko’s succulent flesh so as to not give anything away. “Everything’s fine, just needed to get more oil,” she whispered soothingly.
 imjaneees08/12/2019
Ah, right. There were times when he wondered if Inuemi was simply his mother in disguise. This was one of them. That knowing look she threw them before she silently slipped away screamed entirely of his mother. Now, to wait for the inevitable.
 Stormie Like Weather08/12/2019
While he'd expected Kagome to eventually realize it was he, Sesshomaru, massaging her, instead, she fell asleep.
 Walter20508/12/2019
After a couple of minutes Inuemi returned, bearing a small basin with a stopped up drainer and suspended on chains. She hung it from the ceiling over the bed before blindfolding the still sleeping Kagome, who started to rouse. Quickly she indicated for Sesshomaru to stop rubbing. 
 "My dear, while reading about exotic therapies from the mainland I came across an interesting treatment referred to as Shirodhara, said to be poured onto your 'Third Eye'. If you'll turn over my dear, we can begin immediately," whispered Inuemi as she motioned Sesshomaru to raise up slightly. 
 With the room provided, Kagome slowly but gingerly roll over onto her back, blindfold still in place. Inuemi removed the stopped, allowing the oil to start pouring in a thin stream onto her forehead before flowing down her hair onto the bedpan that had been placed under her head. Next she gathered a handful of the other warm oil and gently poured it into Sesshomaru's hands again, before indicating for him to lower back down and making rubbing motions over Kagome's breasts. With another knowing smile and with a wink to boot, Inuemi once again departed the room, this time silently locking the door behind her. 
 She really was quite the little vixen. Unbeknownst to Sesshomaru, there was a little peephole in the next room over. She went to it and started watching as Sesshomaru started massaging Kagome's chest. Sure enough, soon the miko was making soft noises of appreciation. Those noises of appreciation combined with him running his hands over and around those soft warm melons would soon make Kagome intimately aware of something increasingly poking her in the stomach and when that happened, such fun fireworks were sure to erupt. 
 It should happen almost any second now...
 imjaneees08/12/2019
Okay this was getting hella weird, even by Kagome's standards, and that was saying a lot. She turned her head, "Uuuh, Inuemi I don't think-" no female had a jawline that sharp.
Her eyes snap up to see Sesshomaru's familiar face and the mother of all screeching escaped her lips. Jumping, falling really, down to the waters, she proceeded to throw whatever her hand could reach at the daiyoukai.
"You pervert! You don't just go pretending to be your sister just to get a feel! What's wrong with you?!" Her embarrassment heightened when she realized she just threw her hello kitty knickers at his face.
 Stormie Like Weather08/12/2019
Kagome threw a sheet toga on and began pounding on the door, "Let me out of here! There is no way I'll ever mate this perverted ice prick of a dog demon! I'll go on any date with any bachelor you'd like! Just let me out of this sex room with this dirty OLD DOG!" Her words grew more shrill by the second. 
Suddenly the door flung open and she fell into the arms of InuKimi, who by all standards looked quite cross. "Sesshomaru? Where have your manners gone? Have I taught you nothing?"
"InuEmi..." He pointed toward the door, but his mother was having none of it. 
"You say you'll go on any date with any bachelor?" Her yellow eyes gleamed as she looked down upon Kagome's angry and nodding face. 
"Yes! As long as you get me away from this pervert!" She shot a look of distake over her shoulder, "And to think I was growing to sort of like you! Jerk!"
"Well it's not perfect, but it's getting me somewhere!" InuKimi laughed, pulling the now willing miko along.
 imjaneees08/12/2019
Inukimi led Kagome down the hallway to her appointed room. She was smiling but inside she was plotting three plans a second. This won't do, this simply won't do at all. The pups born from this miko will be related to her through her son and that was that. Sure she will parade the girl for any and all, but that was so she could gloat when her son finally pups the girl. It won't really be hard maneuvering the girl, it was her son's complete lack of knowledge in human intimacies that made things complicated for her.
Her eyes glinted, no matter. All will go according to her plans, it always did.
 Stormie Like Weather08/12/2019
Sesshomaru glared at his mother as she strolled off with the miko, who for whatever reason let him suckle from her, but a massage had not been permitted. Next time he would ask. He had a nagging suspicion that his dastardly sister had tricked him. "InuEmi!" He growled.
"What?" She giggled, sticking her head out from the doorway, "What is it big brother? Lost your little miko?" Her grin fell, "Good! That's what you get for breaking my dolls when I was a little girl!"
 Walter20508/13/2019
Normally in this situation Sesshomaru was prone to physical violence. Certainly he had struck his retainer for far less, but even as he raised his hand up in such a manner as to strike her across the face with the back of it, an instinct took hold like a little voice in the back of his mind, even as Inuemi saw what he was doing and immediately sobered up, even looking a little afraid as she was quite possibly the tamest and least physically violent out of all four of them. 
 In that moment he knew that things would change and never go back to being the same if he struck. Something would irrevocably be broken. Engaging his brother in duels was one thing, sibling rivalries between brothers often resulted in such but this was something different. Gradually, he lowered his hand before turning and striding out of the room, stalking through the sealed areas before locating a suitably vacant room to physically trash his frustrations out on. 
 Inuemi watched him go, her eyes filling with tears of regret at her actions, so focused was she on payback that she hadn't considered how it would effect him or...'Oh Kami' how it might've affected Kagome. She had to find the miko and apologize, immediately.
 Stormie Like Weather08/13/2019
Unsure what to say or do, Kagome finished chewing her bite of sushi, and looked back at the distraught demoness doubled over beside the dining table. InuKimi had dressed her up once again in fine silks, and allowed her to go eat and drink to her heart's content. Two plates in and InuEmi appeared with a snotty teary face and sobbing an apology. "InuEmi, please don't be so upset. Whatever is wrong, I'm sure it will all work out." She whimpered, hidden beneath a curtain of silver hair as she shook her head, "You don't understand..." Her shoulders trembled, "I tricked Sesshomaru into touching your booooobs!" She wailed.
 Walter20508/13/2019
"Huh?" Kagome asked, confusion evident on her face, then realization came over her features. 
 "I set it up so Sesshomaru would be fondling out and arranged it so you would find him fondling you. I did it to cause an explosive reaction between the two of you to get him in hot water, a sibling revenge scheme for what Sesshomaru did to me in our youth. I didn't take your feelings or what would happen to you into consideration when I used you for it," explained Inuemi, confirming Kagome's suspicion. 
 With both thoughts about fights with Souta and pranks Shippou has played on Inuyasha coming to mind and seeing that at least she has learned her lesson, Kagome stood and walked to stand over Inuemi, seeing her flinch as it expecting Kagome to hit her. Feeling slightly offended at this, Kagome knelt down onto her knees and gathered Inuemi's chin into the palm of her hand as she brought her head up to stare eye level, golden orbs meeting deep blue ones. 
 "Inuemi, I realize that you realize what you've done is wrong and I will forgive you for doing this to me, but I will remember," said Kagome nicely but firmly, before inviting her to eat alongside Kagome. 
 While eating Inuemi couldn't help but steal side glances at Kagome while munching down on some meat glazed fruit. Before now she had seen her but as an arranged sister, but now she wanted to get to know her better. She certainly saw her as a valued pack member and wouldn't hesitate to die for her in a second if need be.
 Slayer08/13/2019
Kagome sat at the table for several minutes thinking about why Sesshomaru would fall for such a trick. And the only thing she could come up with is that demons aren't as into personal space.
 Stormie Like Weather08/13/2019
It was either that, or Sesshomaru was severely lacking in skills regarding women. She had to wonder, was he a thousand year old virgin?
 Walter20508/13/2019
"So where is Kouga? Aren't you two mated?" asked Kagome, breaking the awkward silence that had held reign for several minutes now. 
 "Oh, he heard that Inuyasha and Bankotsu were taking the Band of 13 to go hunt down Naraku, so he ran off and joined them. I still have three years until my next period of demonic heat so there wasn't much of a point in doing much beyond the marking ceremony at this point in time," explained Inuemi as she played with her food. 
 "Ah, I see," replied Kagome. 
 "So, apart from occasional shenanigans, how're your thoughts on Sesshomaru?" asked Inuemi in sly response. Kagome blushed slightly and played with her food for a few moments in turn before answering. 
 "Well...I like him, from what I've seen and experienced so far, I think I might him better then Inuyasha. Like his brother he's pretty rough around the edges but he has far superior grace, just needs to work on his social interaction a little bit," Kagome replied. 
 Having finished his temperamental rampage earlier, Sesshomaru listened in while taking mental notes.
 Stormie Like Weather08/13/2019
Leaning in to InuEmi, Kagome couldn't bare to ask above a whisper, "Has Sesshomaru ever even had a girlfriend?" "What do you mean?" Asked his sister with a delicately arched brow. "Well, it's pretty obvious that you were tricking him, unless he really doesn't have any experience with women at all." InuEmi's brows were both up into her hairline, "ew, I don't know about his sex life, you'll have to ask him yourself." Kagome flushed and blinked, ready to apologise when InuEmi tapped her own chin, "Well there was that one time we caught him with a rather large riceball..."
 Walter20508/13/2019
"And I recall mama mentioning someone named Kagura, but apparently she was killed by Naraku, poor thing," said Inuemi as she finished perusing her memories on the subject. 
 "Kagura? Huh, I remember her dying in front of Sesshomaru but I didn't realize that they were in a relationship, I guess him being there when she died makes more sense now. I knew above all she mostly desired being free from Naraku's control," Kagome monotoned aloud as she recalled her own memories on the subject. A single tear fell from the corner of Kagome's eyes as she thought about Sesshomaru suffering the loss of a loved one. 
 "So...what all involves the demon mating process, if you don't mind me asking?" Kagome asked somewhat apprehensively. She seemed a little more resigned to her seeming fate now. 
 "Well, the three main things involves the consent of the female to mate, the male marking the female as his somewhere on her body, and then a solid nighttime of rutting that accomplishes several things including placing his scent upon the female, becoming fully intimately familiar with her, and cementing the suitability for them to bear offspring together. If the female happens to be in heat then pupping may proceed as well," explained Inuemi, with Kagome listening while become somewhat flushed herself. 
 "And erm...the rutting? What is it like...to be with a demon?" asked Kagome, even more hesitantly this time. Inuemi turned to her with a devilish smile on her face. 
 "Well, I would imagine it would be much like a human male, but with I'd say more grace, stamina, endurance, and perhaps when approaching...the zenith a bit more on the savagery side, although not to a degree that the mate would be...damaged," Inuemi hazarded as she recalled her night of mating with Kouga. 
 "Thanks," replied Kagome, who had finished eating and now retreated towards the quarters Inukimi had provided for her earlier, her million going in a million different directions at once.
 Stormie Like Weather08/14/2019
While Sesshomaru was taking notes on how not to treat your miko, and Kagome was taking notes on how to navigate a fortress, Naraku was up to something of great importance - to him at least. "I don't care if 'normal' youkai sexually reproduce, Glitter Beard! That is not how I, Naraku, make my children!" He wanted another child since his most recent creation was not what he'd been expecting in terms of viciousness.
Glitter Beard sighed, "The other way is much more enjoyable daddy, you should try it!" When his "father" didn't respond, Glitter Beard rubbed his swollen belly, "These were made the old fashioned way and will be much more powerful than any budding-made offspring."
Now that got Naraku on to something, "Powerful you say?" His large hand reached out to stroke the stretched stomach of his pregnant incarnation. "Perhaps I will try this myself. Kukukuku..."
 Walter20508/14/2019
A day later, Glitter Beard was busy nursing his twin half fox-half zebra demon infants while watching Naraku undergo some weird bodily shenanigans. 
 "Pops, what are you doing?" asked Glitter Beard in a somewhat alarmed voice. 
 "Hhrrrrnnnnggg, quiet son," grunted Naraku as a large mass grew before separating from his body, landing on the ground below with a wet smack. When the shape resolved itself, Glitter Beard look on askance in a mixture of horror and wonder. 
 "May I present to the audience Number 70, named Spawnamaru, featuring the ability to simultaneously birth upwards of 72 offspring in a five day period. Had to raid five villages and several demon hideouts to absorb the nine human woman of just age, a few rat demons, and a spider to act as a connecting conduit for this baby," Naraku announced proudly. 
 Glitter Beard counted nine glory holes, eighteen milking stations, and eighteen arms plus eight spider limbs, a giant bio-organic birthing and feeding station indeed. 
 "Now, if you'll excuse us," started Naraku as he took up position behind the monstrosity, "I need some privacy while I provide...raw materials for mah baby factory," said Naraku with an evil grin. 
 Glitter Beard beat a hasty retreat.
 revang08/14/2019
Unfortunately for Naraku, a few days later he found that such a monstrosity was truly too much of an abomination to produce any kind of viable offspring. They came out looking kind of like the white blobs of flesh he had experimented with in Mt Hakurei, and were similarly inert, being nearly lifeless. 
This simply would not do. It seemed he truly would need to do this the old-fashioned way.
“Murakumo, come here,” he called quietly through the shoji.
A moment later his sparkly incarnation appeared, jangling what seemed to be keys on a chain before the amused child on his hip. “Yes Daddy dearest? Well, it’s Granddaddy dearest now, isn’t it?”
Struggling not to roll his eyes, Naraku asked, “Just where did you find a partner for the making of this powerful ‘old-fashioned’ offspring?” 
“Oh, don’t you know? That fabulous dog lady is hosting a big mating party up at her glamorous sky palace! Anybody who’s anybody is attending! Once Shimagitsuo and Kitsuumako are a few days older I’m totally going back up there. I wonder where the after-parties will be...”
 Walter20508/14/2019
While using his patented 'Miasma Away' to get rid of his latest failed experiment, a plan was already forming in Naraku's head as to how he would take advantage of his party. Anybody being anybody means there would be a lot of powerful entities in attendance, beings that might give him much trouble in he blew in all 'I kill you now' evil-like. This level of subtlety would be such that he couldn't even fall back on his old white baboon pelt. 
 No, this would likely require possession of another creature. Various candidates flashed through his mind and memory before he settled on one creature in particular that would be perfect.
 Later, Jaken returned to the Sky Castle, entering the Sealed Chambers. Entering her bedroom after gaining permission, Jaken bowed low. 
 "My Lady, my apologies for thy's actions a week and a half ago, but Lord Jaken has returned your long lost items to you and to make amends," groveled Jaken in a sincere sounding tone of voice. 
 Kagome, who was now only half awake after having her new afternoon nap habit interrupted, replied with a yawning "Fine, you may leave them by my bedside and all is forgiven, go back to Sesshomaru," before she rolled over. 
 Doing as she commanded, Jaken laid the satchel by her bed, but then brought up his staff of two heads and pointed it at Kagome, who had her back turned. The mouth opened but instead of issuing flames, miasma spewed out instead, causing Kagome to choke and cough, briefly rising and turning her head to look at him in shock before collapsing, unconscious onto her back on the bed. 
 Gingerly Naraku as Jaken climbed into the bed and examined the miko in detail. He couldn't very well bust out of this form for Sesshomaru would immediately detect his presence. Sigh as he might, he would have to do the deed using the toad as an intermediary between the two of them. Naraku set about removing the miko's clothes, before the door suddenly opened again.
 Stormie Like Weather08/15/2019
Sango rarely​ allowed herself to relax and hang loose, so when she gave into thier current predicament, Miroku felt very lucky indeed. "W-wait, Mir-Miroku!" She giggled as his mouth moved along the line of her neck while his hands explored much more than just her firm bottom Her kimono was falling off her shoulders. Her Slayer uniform was mostly unzipped. They drunkenly stumbled through the halls, "There's got to be a b-bed roo-m around here somewhere!" She tried to open what looked like a door, but ended up being another wall. "Here," Miroku muttered against her pulse as he kicked open a door. "Finally" Sango shouted mid-moan. His hands continued to move over her clothes, trying to remove them but too inebriated to make it very far. She turned in his arms, catching kisses that made her heart beat faster. He walked her backward as they made out. Crashing on top of the futon, a loud screeching sound sobered them up. Sango immediately leaky off the bed, spun around in her full and perfect uniform with her weapon raised at the disgusting toad. There was something off about him. A soft groan and fingers reached out from the covers. "Kagome!" Miroku's staff clinked as he pointed it at the abomination, "I'd recognize the stench of your aura anywhere, Naraku!"
 Walter20508/15/2019
“Naraku? No I’m Jaken, Jaken!” protested Naraku as he held up the Staff of Two Heads for proof. A quick spritz of Miasma laid out the two drunks, before he added another whiff to silence the stirring Kagome. He started to resume his march on Kagome before realizing that he could cause the group so much more suffering by impregnating Sango first. He had just gotten himself naked and Sango topless when Inukimi walked into the still open doorway. “Come along you two drunkards, I won’t have you interrupting Kagome’s....” her voice trailed off as she took in the scene. She and the staff equipped naked Jaken just stared at each other. Stared, stared, and stared, until both of their left eyes stared twitching, when one of them finally made a move.
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faithfullyfalse · 2 years ago
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#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
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