#like to be clear again though: i specifically didn't want to bother doing a bunch of food and baked goods

[killbaned]

ok im good now sorry for being a cunt there’s just a very specific condescending tone of voice mom takes that sets me off even when i’m not a walking snot factory that can barely talk bc of my throat hurting hhhhhhhhh

[the1975attheirverybest]

Pure Comedy

A/N: I think its about time I wrote this one.

Warnings: nuance. If thinking triggers you, skip this one.

----

Matty lit the extra joint that he had left for her, taking a first drag, like a quality assessor, before passing it over to her.

"Do you ever wish that I wasn't so...infamous?" he asked sinking back into the couch, resting his head on her shoulder, with his own joint in hand.

She glanced at him briefly, smiling, "Nah. I love having a rockstar boyfriend."

"I know you do." he giggled. "I said 'infamous,' though. Like....known for being a- 'walking intrusive thought.'" a faint smile flashed, fleetingly, across his face.

She hummed, thoughtfully, considering his question. Matty brought the blunt over to his lips.

"No, you know what? I really don't." she shook her head, the motion prompting him to move his head off her shoulder and sit back.

"that's good."

She turned to look into his eyes, "I know you. Knew what I was in for when I went out with you. The information was disclosed in the girlfriend contract."

He chuckled. "Was it?"

"In big bold letters 'WILL GET CANCELED. NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.'"

"Hmm." He hummed in satisfaction, his foggy eyes zoning out as hr looked in front of him.

A moment of comfortable silence pass them by before Matty spoke again. "Good...that's good." he affirmed, reaching over and pulling her into his arms. "Would hate for you to be affected by it, or like, have people in your life give you shit or something." he kissed the top of her head as his arms squeezed her tight.

"Oh, that doesn't really happen anymore."

"It doesn't happen anymore?!! as in...it's happened in the past?"

she exhaled a puff, "mhm, a while ago, though."

Matty pulled himself away from her, looking aghast, "When?! Why have you never told me?"

"It's- yooo don't just un-hug me like that" she whined, grabbing him by his t shirt to pull him back in. "It's not that important. I can't remember when– maybe after a podcast, or a twitter thing, or something..."

"That's not very specific."

she laughed, accidentally inhaling the smoke and going into a coughing fit. "Does it - uhmm- really matter when it happened? it was like....a few months after we got together. a couple people I knew from college." She cleared her throat, watching as Matty got off the couch and walked across the living room to bring her her water bottle."

"thanks," she took a big gulp. 'Anyway, yeah, I wasn't, like, close with these people or anything. They sent me an article that the Sun had written about you -- i mean, if they're stupid enough to take that bullshit disgrace to journalism seriously then I don't really want them as my friends anyway-- and asked how I associate with you, and I told them where to shove it."

Matty held back a smile, "And...that didn't bother you? or cause you doubt?"

"Cause me doubt? no, not really. Bother me? maybe a bit, but, like, who cares what they think, you know?"

His tense shoulders relaxing as he sat with her words for a moment, Matty sighed loudly. "And your, like, real friends? never said anything to you?"

She smiled, "they have."

"What?! Why hav-"

"You wanna see the texts? I'll show you..." She pulled the phone out of her pocket, scrolling through a group chat exchange for a long minute, "Ah, here it is!"

"This one says, Matty getting banned from Dubai, with a bunch of like emojis and stuff. Is he alright? have you spoken to him?, and I told them that, yeah, I'd called you and you're alright and that you'd already been in Japan by that point."

Matty nodded, recalling the incident.

"So, Francis was like Oh, good! So I can fangirl without feeling bad about it cuz WHAT A FUCKIN BALLSY MOVE!!! And blasting the pride flag?? respecttttt. Ellie replies with Wait, when did that happen? I'm about to get off work. Have I missed something? I explained it to her and she said 'bout to blast 'Loving Someone' with the windows down omw homeeee. with a bunch of hearts and pride flags and stuff."

She handed Matty her phone to look at for himself. Smiling, he nodded and gave it back.

"You've been googling your name again, haven't you?"

"to be fair, when am I not googling myself?"

She giggled, shaking her head. "it's a toxic habit. you really gotta quit it, you know?"

"hmm."

She could tell, from the look in his eyes, that his mind was elsewhere, and she knew why.

"The way I see it is, like, the people who try an cancel you once evry fortnight fall into one of two categories: first, the people whose identity is so intertwined with performative call-out culture that your disruption threatens their sense of who they are; and, second, the people who are like 'oh its repetitive, its immature, i wish he'd just stop and be himself this is bad for him."

"Right."

"the first group...well, its not really even about you. It's just that their thinking is 'either you're down with woke culture and you must examine and call out every little thing, or you're a vile, selfish person who needs to be treated like the villain that you are.' You, my love, don't fit into either one of those options. But there is no room for that in their black and white thinking....like, it scares them to think that....they have to abandon their fundamental beliefs about what it means to be a progressive, or like, an advocate for change. And if they can't think of themselves as that, then that means that they don't know what to think or believe anymore."

Matty had been listening, impatiently, waiting to interject. "and you've never wondered if maybe they're right? that you're just blinded by my life changing dick and angelic voice?"

She laughed, hitting his chest playfully. "sure, I have. before I agreed to commit to you. And, look, i'm not unsympathetic to these people. it's scary, the state of the world that we live in. we all wanna be part of the solution. you're suggesting that maybe this solution isn't really effective, and that persisting with it is a waste of time. You're existing in this third alternative where you say 'there are better ways maybe. have we tried something new?' and thats uncomfortable. like, they do genuinely believe in their way of things. of course they're gonna be upset when someone shakes things up."

"That....is true." Matty shifted in his seat, crossing his legs.

"The second group- well, I guess I get where they're coming from even if I don't think the same way. When they tell you to shut up and sing, or when they wish you would 'just be yourself,' they're not actually asking for authenticity. They're asking for mindlessness. They don't want to have to think. To doubt or double-check or dig deeper into what they see you doing and saying. They just want total entertainment forever. Straight from the court jester to that sweet, sweet dopamine center in the brain."

Matty hummed in agreement. "I get that way sometimes. Its why I watch-"

"Porn?" She grinned at him, slyly.

"I was going with 'trash tv' but...sure, porn too. It's escapism, it's turning off your brain....relaxing."

"Right, and there's nothing wrong with that. But that's not who you are, Matty. You don't make escapism. You couldn't even if you wanted to. It's not in your nature. Fuck, if it were, you wouldn't get into these bi-weekly cancelation cycles. I think you'd be miserable if you tried to shut the fuck up."

"I know, I know. And I don't usually bother- I just-" "You're human. you make mistakes. That's authenticity. not...easy jokes and purity."

"Purity?" Matty's eyebrow quirked.

"Mhm. Purity is for suckers. Art doesn't exist without ambiguity."

" expensive price to pay as an artist."

"yeah, but like you are an artist. You're incapable of being happy doing anything else."

Matty's chest welled up, tears in the corners of his eyes. It was beautiful, being known so intimately by her.

"God, I'm pretentious." He quipped,

"Your heart is in it. That's what matters. Makes it not pretentious."

"Right, yeah. If only we weren't literally getting high and having this deep conversation right now."

,

[ofglazelilies]

hi!! i luv ur works! can i get some sort of kaeya angst/comfort thing where reader gets severely injured but doesn't tell him because theyre just stoic and didnt want him to worry. and hes just frustrated abt it. sorry if its too specific! have a good day!

a/n: thank you so much! here you go, i hope you'll like it. have a good day too, anon!

💌 Kaeya.

When Kaeya finally finds out about your injury, he might seem a bit passive agressive. Going on a rant about how reckless it is to hide such a thing and how you should be able to tell him if you're hurt. He may sound upset, but it's not you that he's angry with - he's more frustrated with the fact that he wasn't there to protect you, and that you thought you couldn't tell him something like that.

"Do you think you can't confide in me, Y/N?"

He can't help but wonder if you don't deem him trustworthy. There is... a lot of rumors surrounding Kaeya, that's for sure, and he's curious if it was one of these that influenced you to become cautious of your partner.

He scoffs when he's proven wrong - your voice calmly explaining that you didn't want to bother him. Kaeya doesn't mind your stoic nature, he finds it rather charming, really - but he can't help feeling like he let you down somehow, making it so you're more worried of wasting his time than telling him when you're unwell.

After he finishes scolding you, he closes his eyes for a moment. He appears tired from loosing his cool demeanor like that. After a short moment, he lets a quiet sigh escape his lips and hugs you. He lets all of his frustration evaporate, grounding himself as he holds you in his arms, his fingers tracing small patterns on your back.

"If something like that were to ever happen again, I want you to tell me. Please do not hesitate to ever come to me. Alright, sweetheart?"

When everything is settled between the two of you, he'll focus on finding out how you got injured. Was it a bunch of treasure hoarders that attacked you? Well, they surely won't give you any more trouble once Kaeya... resolves the situation. Or maybe it was some hillichurs? No problem. The next day, all the camps near the city seem to have been mysteriously cleared out.

Even though Kaeya may act noncholant, he would blame himself if something more serious ever happened to you. The Cavalry Captain is afraid of losing another person in his life, and he can't imagine what he would have done without you. He's not the type of person to deny you making your own choices, but please, just be a bit more careful for him, okay?

If your wound isn't healed yet, he'll insist on treating it, "as reparations", he says. It's just an excuse to dote on you some more and make sure that you never feel like you're burdening him again. He'll sternly refuse to let you do any hard work or chores until you're fully healed. He'll take care for it for the time being.

[neptunetheplanet7]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐧 - 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐮𝐬

DM ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE PUT ON THE TAGLIST!!

;mikasa ackerman x fem!lesbian!reader

;modern au, band au

word count: 2.4k

warnings: swearing, angst IF YOU SQUINT

listen to the music masterlist

prev | next

Groggily wiping your closed eyes, you awoke from a deep sleep. It didn't take long to realize the sheets around you weren't yours. You weren't in your bedroom. You weren't even in your house.

You sat up on the pullout, more alert. Rubbing the sides of your head with your fingertips, you desperately tried to put the pieces of last night together. The clock next to the unmounted flat-screen told you it was two pm. What happened to you?

"Good morning, honey bunny! Or should I say good afternoon?" The cheery voice that broke your confused silence was easy to recognize as Sasha.

What you were doing in the living room of her apartment, you didn't know.  You turned around to see her cooking food for the two of you.

The early events of the night before were clear as day when you retraced your steps. Catching up with everyone, Hitch, Zeke's fiasco, and dancing around were all things you had no issue recalling. 

However, there was one last detail just out of your grasp. Dancing with your friends. . . then with Mikasa. . . but what happened after that? Was it- oh, fuck.

Realization set in and you scrambled off the couch. Clothes from the night clung to your body as you stumbled into Sasha's bright kitchen.

Sitting down on a stool with wide eyes earned you a concerned look. Sasha raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay, Y/n? You look a little sick."

You shook your head. "I'm such an idiot. Can you believe I kissed her? I bet she didn't even want to."

She chuckled and pushed a plate of food in front of you. "From what I remember, she's the one who initiated it."

"I can't remember anything that happened after that. Fill me in?" You started eating your breakfast as you awaited their answer.

"Well, to put it simply, you fainted."

"What?!"

"Yeah, right after you pulled away. You were just out after that. It's really weird how that happened, actually," She put a finger to her chin as she reminisced.

The food on your fork toppled off as you stilled in shock. "Sasha! You better be joking! That's so embarrassing, oh my god."

In an instant, she was leaning over the table to steady your frantic gesticulating arms.

"Hey, hey, honey bunny. Don't freak out. We were all pretty worried about you. Nobody laughed if that's any comfort to you. To help out Marco, I took you back here after I dropped off Connie. He didn't need to worry about you when he had the three drunk idiots to drive home." She took your free hand in hers.

"I should probably text them so they know I'm okay." You left your food unattended as you walked back to the couch to look for your discarded phone. Sasha took it as a sign that you were done and helped herself to the meal.

"I got a picture of you two if you wanna see it," she said nonchalantly through a mouthful of food.

You stopped your searching. "What? Mikasa and I? When?"

"Well, I got a few, actually. I have one of you dancing with her and one of you kissing her. And some others from when Connie and I were joking around."

"Sasha, why?" you groaned. "I already get enough cameras in my face."

She shrugged and continued eating your breakfast. You moved the couch pillows around in hopes of finding your phone.

A reoccurring buzz vibrated the carpet under the pulled-out mattress. You reached under to grab whatever the noise came from.

Luckily, it was your phone. Unluckily, it was blowing up with texts from Jean and Eren. The familiar ringtone sounded as a call from Jean came through. You rushed to pick it up.

"Hello? Jean? Woah, slow down, what's going on?" You could barely make sense of his frantic words on the other side of the line. 

"Y/n, thank god you picked up. Armin's hurt. We're heading to the hospital right now. We think he has a concussion or something."

"What? Oh my god, what happened? How is he?"

"We'll explain later. Come when you can. It's the same hospital we went to when Eren broke his arm."

"Got it, Jean. I'll be there. Keep him safe."

"Of course."

He hung up. You started towards the front door. "We have to go, Sasha."

"Why? What happened? You sound pretty worried. At least change before you got out. I have a spare set of clothes for you," she offered, already on the way to their bedroom.

"No time. I'll change on the way to the hospital." You unlocked the door. 

"The what?" Their confusion and worry were clear from their tone. Despite that, she nodded and frantically reached for her car keys, extra outfit already in hand.

Once she got a hold of them, you both jumped in the car and set off to the hospital.

"What the hell happened to you?" You were seated on the left side of the hospital bed with the rest of your bandmates scattered throughout the bland room.

"To tell you the truth, I fell down a flight of stairs," Armin said sheepishly.

"With a light push from Eren," Mikasa added.

"I didn't mean to push him! I bumped into him!"

"Yeah, nice one, Eren. You're a certified douchebag." Jean rolled his eyes.

"Coming from you, Jean, that's rich." Eren glared back at him.

"Man, why couldn't Eren fall down the stairs." Armin clawed at the bandage on his head in annoyance. "This thing is itchy."

"It's because you are stupid, and I am not," Eren fired back. You snorted.

"Oh yeah, definitely. Remind me who graduated early from college and who dropped out again?"

He scowled. "You dropped out too, idiot."

"Right, but I did it for the band. You did it because it was too hard," you snickered.

"Damn, Y/n. Go a little easy on me, will you? I spent my whole morning at the police station." He pinched the bridge of his nose like he had a headache.

Confused, you looked at Mikasa, hoping for an explanation. She avoided your eyes and stared at the ground instead. It was the third time she wouldn't directly look at you since you got there.

Armin noticed the interaction and frowned. "He went to get Zeke out of jail," they explained.

Eren sighed. "That was the plan. Until I changed my mind. The bail was a lot of money and, frankly, with all the shit he did, it wasn't worth it. It's a shame he'll miss my birthday again but what good would he cause anyways."

"Oh, I see." 

As distraught as he was the night prior, Eren was able to toughen up with Zeke instead of letting him back into his life so easily. It was admirable he could do such a thing after his previous reactions to Zeke's shenanigans. 

"What did he even do? I guess he pawned that guy's wedding ring but isn't he banned from Nebraska?" Jean pondered.

"Well, he didn't lie about some things. He is several million dollars in debt and he was on the run from the police. Explains why he looked like he was gonna shit his pants when the cops showed up last night," Eren said.

"Okay, but what did he do specifically?" Jean asked again.

"Oh, right. He robbed banks like it was a game. The motherfucker was literally bank hopping around Nebraska. Plus, he stole a bunch of shit from people and pawned it all. There were so many complaints filed against him that he was banned from a ton of pawnshops. He wasn't banned from the state. Just enough places that he felt like he was."

Jean's jaw dropped. "How many banks did he rob?"

Eren shrugged. "Around thirty."

"Thirty? What the hell is that guy on?" he mumbled.

You were surprised as well but glad it wasn't worse. Still, you couldn't believe that he'd been staying with you for less than a week and he already stirred up a whirlwind of problems.

Silence had fallen over the room for a moment before Armin broke it. "Y/n, can I talk to you for a minute? Alone," he said.

"Sure." You were curious about what he had to say to you. He'd been all fidgety during the whole half hour you were there.

Eren and Jean turned from their position on either side of the door and walked out. Mikasa stood from her seat to follow. She shot you one last glance but looked away before your eyes could meet.

Once the three were gone, you scooted your chair closer to the bed.

"What's up?"

Armin's brows furrowed as he brought his nail between his teeth. "Do you know what's going on with Mikasa? She's been acting weird all day. She's always been the closed-off type but she hasn't said more than a few words to us all day."

You frowned. If Mikasa was not only avoiding you but the others too, you could only assume what was on her mind. 

"You don't remember last night? Is amnesia a result of the fall?"

He blinked, confusion still evident. "No, I don't think so. Eren and Jean are just as clueless as I am."

Then you remembered how drunk the three of them were the night before. They must've lost track of things after having enough drinks. So Mikasa hadn't bothered to fill them in.

You tugged at Sasha's shirt collar nervously. "Mikasa kissed me." Armin's mouth fell open. Words came out fast as you tried to explain, "Or I kissed her. It's a little fuzzy, I fainted afterward. Sasha said Mikasa initiated it, though." 

"You- she what? You actually- wait, you fainted? Y/n, are you okay?" The panic in his voice rose as the confusion dissolved.

You placed a hand on his upper arm to stop him from sitting all the way up. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me. I'm not the one in the hospital bed, after all."

He smiled at that. "I guess that's true. But anyway, how was it?"

You felt your face heat up. You weren't expecting them to be so forward. Clearing your throat, you replied, "The kiss was. . . yeah, I'd say it was good."

They grinned. "I'm glad you finally acted on those feelings. Christ's sake, Y/n. You've liked her for how many years now?"

You smiled shyly. "Jeez, I don't know. Quite a few. But don't get your hopes up or anything. She clearly thinks it was a mistake."

Armin's smile disappeared. "You've gotta stop thinking like that. More likely than not, she needs some time to process. You know she gets reserved when she has to think."

So reserved to leave for two years?  Yeah, you knew. You were beginning to believe her behavior would lead to worse.

The blonde seemed to sense something deeper was nagging at you. "Wait, have you ever actually talked about what happened? I figured you spoke to Eren but now that I think about it, whenever anyone brought her up you shut it down."

That was enough to get you thinking. When Mikasa was gone, your friends knew better than to ask about her. Armin was right, you always shut it down. 

You never spoke about how her disappearance made you feel. You never even wanted to think about it. There were times when you couldn't push the feelings away anymore. Times when you couldn't do anything but cry.

Whenever that happened, you made a beeline for Eren. He was the only one you knew wouldn't pry. You never had to say anything. He would just understand. He never told anyone. He never complained. He never asked. He let you cry until you couldn't anymore. He was someone you were very grateful for.

Mikasa's leave was something that affected you more than you let on. Even if it was easy to tell that it was hard for you to deal with, no one knew the extent to which it was.

Remembering that time brought back every feeling you never dwelled on. You couldn't go through it all again. You knew why it was hard to think positively about that kiss.

"I don't want her to leave," you whispered, voice coming out more shaky than you intended. "I can't do it, not again."

Armin looked surprised. "Do you think she'd leave again? Why?"

Lifting your head, your gaze shifted from the floor to his wide blue eyes. "The last time something impacted her emotions so quickly she left us."

He nodded as realization dawned on him. "But the difference between now and then is that this is a positive thing. Come on, Y/n, I'm not blind. Before she and Jean were together, you were dancing around each other for years. Even Jean was shocked when she asked him out and not you."

You thought about that for a moment. Right he was again. There were always moments between you and her before Jean. You always thought you two had an unspoken connection until she asked him out. It seemed others thought so as well.

You smiled hopefully. "Yeah, you're right. Maybe this is a good thing. I mean, I've had these feelings for years so maybe it's good I finally acted on them."

They smiled back. "Hope so. Just give her some time and she'll come around. It's Mikasa, of all people she would never ignore-"

The door banged open just as Armin was finishing his sentence.

Eren stood in the doorway with his phone held up and Mikasa and Jean not far behind.

"Hannes called. Couldn't wait any longer to ask. Are you two down for a performance at the beginning of next month?" He exhaled heavily, out of breath for some reason. "Mikasa and Jean here are already on board."

"You're coming back to the band, Mikasa?" Armin asked.

"Yeah. I miss it," Mikasa said quietly.

"Of course I'm down. It's been so long since we've performed," you chimed.

"So it's settled then. First performance in three months plus Mikasa's big comeback on April 2nd," Jean confirmed.

posted: 9/15/21

neptunetheplanet7© 2021

no reposts, edits, or modification to my work by anyone other than me.

[retphienix]

Phasmophobia maps ranked (totally objective, no opinions here, super srs, psyche gottem it's all opinions)

Brownstone High School

I won't sugar coat it, I didn't even bother going inside for a screenshot for this entry because I hate high school.

Now to be fair, I'm down to play high school whenever, I want to get better at it and I believe that should speed things up a bit and make it more fun.

And HS is the map I think of when I think of running a full 4 man!

But beyond a full 4 man HS is too big, too boring, and too annoying to solve.

It's long hallway with a million rooms after long hallway with a million rooms after small reprieve of finding a science lab or gym followed by long hallway with a million rooms followed by going upstairs to do it all over again.

THERE ARE TOO MANY CLASSROOMS AND I KNOW THAT'S THE POINT

But when the gameplay revolves around finding the room where the ghost is hanging around having these many rooms AND hallways can really drag things out.

Now to be honest, when you have the room on lockdown it's a fun map to maneuver and solve!

So if you walk in the front door and hear something fall over in a specific direction it immediately becomes more playable!

But if you walk in and the ghost is being a quiet asshole then you're in for the least fun you can have in phasmo in my opinion.

Just a bunch of "PLEASE DO SOMETHING" shouting and holding your EMF or thermo practically begging for something to happen.

Bottom tier, worst map, don't like it.

It doesn't even have unique collectibles to make up for the fact that it's a big map so you won't find the bone!

Hardly necessary (though I argue all maps need those) but definitely worth dropping a mention on top of being hallway simulator.

Too many rooms and boring hallways out of 9

Edgefield Street House

Edge honestly doesn't deserve to be next to HS but someone had to be and Edge gets the dishonor purely because it's the most middling map in the game.

Edge is fine.

Edge is passable.

Edge is simple and clean.

Edge isn't exciting is the problem, but it is still a fun one.

The houses aren't renown for being the most interesting; Their job is to be middling and accessible and they get the job done just fine. Edge just happens to be the most middling.

With a first floor that's underutilized, I mean the ghost is in the kitchen if they are here at all let's be real.

Garage is meh, living room is a rare spot for anything to happen, there's a weird back exit area that is never used ever for anything?

First floor is clearly an afterthought for the ghost but it gets the job done.

I actually really dig the basement layout, but I've never once seen a ghost spawn there lol. It's mostly just a place to turn on the power and hide in the locker and that's fine.

The 'star' of Edge is the upstairs which has roughly 9 billion rooms and locations for you to hide, scientists are still counting the exact amount.

You want the blunt end of that?

It's entirely playable- it's safe as hell even since there's a closet every 3 inches- but it's not the most interesting thing for an entire map to be "Go upstairs, look at the 15 doors because one is probably about to open for you and that's the ghost room"

Runs of Edge are a bit too 'samey' since so much of the real-estate is upstairs and it's so dense.

Edge is fine. The most 'passable' map in rotation that I won't complain about but I'm never stoked to head to.

Passable out of 9

Asylum

I'll be honest and say I'm not being thorough with asylum.

It's among my least played, but that doesn't mean my least enjoyed.

It's got a really fun reverb on voices, it's genuinely fun to wander through, but it just feels some strange level of 'too big' while still being... not that?

I dunno how to say it.

But the 1st floor is annoying to clear out with its layout and sure that's inexperience talking-

While the bottom floor is fun due to the aesthetic but it's in a weird place of being overly simplistic.

The bottom floor is just a big hallway with rooms on either side.

That's not the most interesting layout- though it is fun to hide down there, with bathrooms and other makeshift spots to hide behind in most rooms which makes the hallway less threatening.

Asylum is weird, the layout goes between annoying and overly simple between the two floors and it feels too 'wide' for what it has to offer.

AND YET

I like aslyum.

I never play it, but I like it.

Shweppsi out of 9

Tanglewood Street House

Tangle we all know it and what's there to say.

A little bit, to be honest :)

It's the smallest map around and it's a great first map to learn the ropes.

Tangle's strongest feature is its layout- it's both interesting and fun to experience in multiple runs.

I love the little trio of rooms (and bathrooms/closet space) on the left side of the house, the way it's a little mini hallway for two of them (and a bathroom), then deeper in to the left of the living room is the master bedroom, I dig that.

I dig the garage too, the way it's connected to a laundry room feels really nice, but let's be honest every ghost ever in Tangle is in the kitchen.

Sure that's not literally true and I've had a ton in the first room on the left or the bathroom on the left, but that kitchen is where every run on Tangle ends up- with everyone hanging out asking for the ghost to show themselves.

Also the basement is lame, nothing ever happens there and there's no real hiding from what I can tell, just run upstairs to one of the closets.

All said, you take the good design with the bad of being so small every run feels about the same and you end up with Tangle.

I really like Tangle as a beginner map and to revisit for the layout, but I won't lie, kitchen ghosts here are lame and common.

Still not bad enough to outweigh the good, Tangle is a winner.

Tutorial out of 9

Grafton Farmhouse

Once upon a time Grafton was my favorite farmhouse but, well, it's here and the other hasn't been mentioned yet.

Grafton is one of those maps with few "locker" style hiding spots, but unlike a lot of the other maps that emphasize hiding behind things I just never feel comfortable hiding on Grafton- and not in a tense way, in a "The AI is gonna ignore this and walk around and peer out the window for no reason which will prompt it to see me anyway, won't it?" kind of way.

There are some lockers in the storage upstairs now which is nice because the ghost spawns there like 80% of the time.

First floor : Left is dining/kitchen/and a back room. Between those the kitchen is pretty popular for the ghost but also is a spot where orb ghosts can be assholes who hide their orbs for no reason.

Right side is a living room, two bedrooms, and a laundry room, these are some pretty nice spots for the ghost to be because there ARE hiding spots, but their accessibility kinda depends on where in any of these rooms the ghost decides to spawn, making the hunts pretty fun.

Genuinely this right side of the first floor is a win, I dig this area and when the ghost hangs out here.

Upstairs has a shitty terrible awful room where you die (far left), a bathroom where nothing ever happens, and a room with an attached back room/storage that the ghost LOVES to be in to an obscene degree.

Grafton is fine all around, a good hunt location, but really it's where the hiding spots are and where the ghost likes to be that make it just less fun for me.

It's almost always "Upstairs back room / Kitchen / Left Bedroom on first floor" and the repetition of my luck makes it less fun. (though, again, that bedroom is fine because that cluster of rooms is a fun one).

At least there's voodoo dolls out of 9

Ridgeview Road House

Ridge is cool!

It's easy as hell but it's just nicely divvied up, it's one of those maps that benefits from having a very nice layout that leads to games feeling very different depending on the ghost room.

I like the basement, but nothing ever happens there I swear.

The first floor as a whole has some nice spots, anything on the left can be hidden away in the garage lockers (which are at the far end which makes it a little tense which is nice!)

Anything on the right is a little less safe feeling because that back room is terrible, honestly safer to run upstairs to a closet.

And finally anything upstairs is standard house affair- a ton of hiding closets and a good amount of rooms but not 9 billion rooms like Edge.

Ridge is nice. It's small, easy, and well spaced.

Strong layout out of 9

Willow Street House

Willow really is small as sin, but I dig the look a lot.

I also like how hiding is a 'behind furniture' affair unlike a lot of the other houses with their plentiful closets.

My favorite area is the basement, which sadly makes for a less than stellar photo, but I love the multiple rooms in the basement and the lighting in those rooms.

Upstairs has a very different feel from the other houses which does a lot for making it feel fresh as well, definitely the most immediate thing most will notice when playing it since Tange/Ridge/Edge all feel the same due to the aesthetic they carry.

All in all it's my favorite house right now, but I'm curious on its lasting power for that.

It definitely helps that the map is built around hiding spots instead of hiding closets because it's a lot more fun crouching behind a dryer or cutting corners to get behind a dresser than it is to just hold a door shut and know you're effectively immortal as long as you don't talk.

Between the aesthetic and the unique layout it's come this high on my list WHILE being a bit buggy from being brand new, so that says something at least.

A joy to hunt on out of 9

Bleasdale Farmhouse

One of the two farmhouses and for a while my lesser fave, but it's grown on me the more I've played it.

Bleas doesn't emphasize lockers as much as hiding behind changing 'curtain' deals and after giving it a shot, it grew on me a lot- probably my favorite form of hiding spot because you can often still see the ghost as they come right up to you and walk away.

The highlights of Bleas will always be the immensely safe back room where the breaker can spawn- there are lockers here and it makes a fairly safe cut away for most events on the first floor because most events on the first floor are in the kitchen/dining area anyway with the rest of the first floor mostly being dormant in my runs.

The terrible terrible terrible attic which I hate and love at the same time.

it has hiding spots but whenever I have to use them it's highly unlikely I make it to them in time.

It's just a terrible place to be.

And the second floor is a pretty great one tbh! Mostly because there's a nice central hiding spot and the entire area is divided up pretty nicely for ghost stuff- unless you get hallway, fuck when it's hallway. It's the WHOLE hallway as far as I can tell and that's just stupid!

Bleas is a winner for sure, definitely beats the likes of Edge with ease, there's never a dull time hiding behind the privacy curtains- oh and this map has voodoo dolls! I firmly believe all the maps need more collectibles so this one having some is a boon for sure

"We got fingerprints on all the windows in the kitchen!!!" out of 9

Prison

TIME FOR THE BEST BOY!

PRISON!!!!

How to explain it.

When I started Phasmo my least favorite maps were the bigger ones, I hated feeling lost and like the ghost took too long to find all while the houses were fast and easy to understand.

But then I tried Prison and everything changed.

Talk about a beautifully laid out big map!

The sounds, the various hotspots, the fact that it's somehow big as hell without ever feeling too big and empty- I love prison.

Gushing aside, Prison is basically split up into 3 segments.

Main building, A block, B block.

And the unfortunate truth of prison is that the Main building is where most action seems to happen... doubled down with the truth that if the ghost IS in either block then they are significantly more dangerous to occasionally unfair degrees.

Yet despite that it consistently ends up being the most fun map for me to play through!

It all comes down to layout. The main building has a lot of little 'segments' which encourage you to run during a hunt differently, and the blocks are intimidating in their own way because going upstairs in them feels like signing your will.

I'd love to say more, but it's just the most fun one, so that's that.

Best map out of 9... I heard a cell door open, let's get towards A block.

I know it's just a random post of mine and all but hey, what's your take on the maps?

I'd like to hear what some arguments for other faves might be- especially if someone is a die hard HS fan, lol.

[sternerstufftoys]

He Got Touchy

(inhales)

Oh man, I don't want to do this. Why am I doing this? No-one's making me do this. I'm still doing this. I said I was doing highlights from each year of G1 one week at a time, and you can't talk about 1984 without Optimus Prime. I already did Megatron, now it's time to get the big red bugger out of the way.

Because here's the thing. I don't much like Optimus Prime. No, that's not quite right, I like him well enough I suppose. I like him fine. But I don't care about him. Yes, that's more like it. I don't really care about Optimus Prime. He's not my space-dad, he's not the hero I ever admired as a toddler, he's a relic, a symbol of everything that came before.

Like I said in the Jazz review, I was born in 1984, so by the time I came to Transformers a few years later, Optimus was already dead. Rodimus Prime was in, and any sightings of Optimus felt more like flashbacks than anything else. Optimus was part of the generation that your older cousins might have owned, that the big kids that had grown out of Transformers would recognise. We didn't need them any more. We had Chromedome. And, uh, Wheelie.

Still, I remember being excited by the anticipation of watching The Return of Optimus Prime again. The second coming was a big deal, even if you don't remember the first coming. And then it came and went without leaving an impression, because the nicest thing you can say about it is that it's kind of a dull episode. But returning to it later...

Listen. Rodimus Prime earned his place as leader. It took most of a season, but he bloody well earned it. He doubted himself, he questioned the idea of leadership, he self-reflected until his arse was a highly-polished sheen. But. He. Earned. It. It's the closest that the G1 cartoon ever got to a story arc, with Rodimus finally overcoming his doubts by the penultimate story, The Burden Hardest To Bear. And then before the series could die a merciful death, along comes Optimus to undo everything because he's Optimus Prime and he made some kids cry in 1986 when he went all grey and stopped moving. In doing so Hasbro made it clear that they weren't going to ever commit to any real changes in the franchise, and that sooner or later everything will just reset back to normal. Back to boring.

And yet. When I opened up the packaging for this here KuBianBao MP10-V Convoy, a downscaled knockoff of Takara's own MP10 from a few years back, I have to admit to feeling a thrill of excitement on seeing it for the first time. Specifically, the luscious deep blue of his legs jostled a memory I didn't realise I had, of being round a friend's house as a child and jealously seeing their G1 Optimus Prime in person, with that same navy blue hue that somehow signified a certain level of quality well above anything I had at home.

Damn. I like it.

I'm not going to bang on about how good MP10 was or is. It's still to my mind the best version of the character that exists, and that's including the more recent cartoon-accurate MP44. MP10 looks like a truck, not a hastily-animated drawing of a truck. Here though it is scaled down to better exist next to main line transformers, with the loose scale guide that means that cars are deluxes, trucks voyagers, etc. Plus he doesn't tower over his mates in robot mode either.

There's only a few changes to the original MP10 tooling going on, most notably a metallic waist instead of the plastic one that the original had. You also get a bunch of extra accessories as well - some spare heads I could never get on, a jetpack in case you want him to recreate that time he had a jetpack, and a sword in case you want to... well, swords are cool I guess. God knows where the sword originally came from, but in solid die-cast metal it could double as a handy letter opener if you want to resume your correspondence from your fellow 19th century fops. Whatever its origins, KBB didn't think to give it the wrapping around the handle which it was clearly designed for, so it rattles around unconvincingly in old Optimus's hand. Still, taking the rubber grip off a cheap biro and gluing it on seems to have done the trick.

The trailer, and the rest of the accessories such as roller and a slightly sunburned Spike, were sold separately some time later, meaning that the eventual cost was not altogether far off what an actual MP10 would be. Still, you can't not have a trailer. The vestigial part of my brain that was programmed as a pre-toddler to enjoy putting things inside of other things still gets a tickle out of stashing deluxe cars inside. I'm a simple soul.

That'd all be fine, but let's stop ignoring that elephant in the room. This is a knockoff, and that troubles me. Not, I should add, that I'm especially troubled by the infringement of copyright, even the outright theft of physical moulding equipment owned by Takara. Okay, that's pretty low, but Takara and Hasbro are big enough, old enough and wealthy enough to take that hit. What bothers me more is that, being a knockoff, there's no way to tell how, where, or in what conditions it was manufactured.

It's a high-grade knockoff, using high grade materials, so skilled and trained workers had to have been used to put it together. But even so, while Hasbro and Takara would be publicly raked across the coals if they were ever to be exposed as using exploitative working practices in their factories (and risk their stock values) KBB have no such concerns. Were the workers paid adequately? Were their working hours reasonable? It's not like we'll ever be able to tell, as they'd never advertise their situation, having flagrantly broken the law to even produce something like this. And it'd be a mistake to assume that just because the product is good that the company's moral compass is equally good.

And it's not perfect either. Partly due to the downscaling process that makes certain parts small and fragile, and partly due to the use of materials which aren't quiteup to Hasbro / Takara's standards, there are flaws in MP10-V's makeup. One of the flaps that cover up the wheels on his legs broke off a while ago, and was far too fiddly to repair. The other one is hanging on there - just. Over time the parts don't seem to fit together as well as they did when it came out of the box, and some joints are getting looser with age, while others seem to seize up. So... do I regret it?

Sort of. I regret having supported sketchy knockoff merchants in China. But I don't regret the toy itself. Honestly, if Hasbro or Takara had just made this themselves they'd have had my money, but they didn't. Well, they sort of did with Earthrise Optimus Prime, and the similarities at a glance make it very likely that the existence of MP10-V was a consideration in its creation. And owning MP10-V makes it impossible to ignore the scrunched-up torso proportions that ER Prime has, as well as the disappointingly small trailer that can't fit a deluxe car inside properly. So no, I'll keep my sketchy knockoff for a good long while yet. It's only Optimus Prime after all. I was never that much of a fan.