#like theres a lot of things in the movie that don't make any sense outside of 'you know‚ like how barbies do?'

[gibbearish]

also is the thing with the box ever. explained?

[hanjisick]

Hello!!💗 How are you? Hope you are doing just fine. Sooo i don't really know how your ships work so i am sorry if i made you uncomfortable and if the request's are closed then you can always just delete it i wouldn't mind. Also i apologize if this is too long and for any spelling mistakes english is not my first langauge.

• I am a russian female, my height is about 1.61 cm, weight about 51 kg, brown curly/wavy medium kinda hair, big brown eyes with long and thick lashes (people say that they can see planets in them which is very weird because idk), i have a griffin tattoo on the botton side of my left leg and as much as my figure is very feminine i work out so i pack some mucles and a six pack. Usually my skin is very pale and snowy but in the summer it turns into a honey like toned skin and i have a few beauty marks.

• I am an istp, usually people don't come and talk to me because i always look like i would kill someone (and i would) but in the end i just really care about the people i love. Very very shy and polite around people and strangers but i get very extravorted around people that i am comfotable with. I have a very hard time judging people and i am always able to understed their side of the story and how they feel even if i didn't went through the same thing they did. I can read people's mood just by looking into their eyes most of the time. Very very dark sense of humor for no reason (and a very broken one too). I perefer to listen then talk because it makes me happy that people trust me enough to tell me random/deep stuff about themselves.

• I really love video games and P.S (mostly fighting games like tekken or god of war), used to play a piano, i draw quit a lot (mostly people and it's just sketching), sing, very good at sports, used to pole dance, and i have some experiense with judo and thai boxing (fights and breaking people's bones but we don't talk about that), if i watch tv it's just national geografic wild/HD, i absolutely love reading books and watching movies (mostly action and comedy sometimes horror too).

• I don't like being controlled and forced to either do something or choose between something. I would rather stay at home but if the person i care about would want to go outside i can't say no because as long as i am with them i am happy. I have like only two friends other then my cat and barley talk to one of them though my social battery is very low and i like to be alone when theres an opportunity most of the time.

• I speak 8 langauges, absolutely love animals but cats are my favorite, i have never being babied before and prefer to take care of others, theres like 5% chance i will find someone unattractive, another reason why i don't talk to people anymore is because i am afraid they will use me because i was being nice to them. I had horrible depression for almost 4 years when i was 11/10 and no one catched up on that until a phone call with a teacher that i had, alot of nightmeres and illusions, i harmed myself too (still have scars) everyday and had to take a pill and go to a therapist but now i am okay and happy (but still never felt genuine happines). I have a habbit of playing with a ring on my finger that i always wear, already at a young age i was very independet (5 or 6 years old maybe) already knew how to cook and do house chores and i didn't grow up with the most normal family i was mostly a daddies girl never had a mother figure (we were strangers living under the same roof) and an 8 years older sister who always pushed me away until she begin dating her now husbend and i have a baby nephew.

• I have all the love langauges but the biggest two are quality time and physical touch.

Again i apologize if it's too long, made you uncomfortable and for spelling mistakes.

I really love your writing's but don't forget to take care of yourself and i hope you will have a good day/night!!~💕💗💞

i ship you with…

jisung!

your intimidating aura shook something inside of him. he would immediately need to know more about you and would be willing to do anything to get your attention.

he found it adorable how similar you actually were to him. both of you would be shy around eachother, only to gradually become louder until the two of you were always a giggling, fun mess together.

jisung would love nothing more than to spend his days by your side, tracing your tattoo in awe as he talked about absolutely anything that came to his mind.

but nothing sold him more than the fact that you both loved to watch national geographic, always down to binge episodes over a bowl of popcorn and cuddles.

he would love to help you relive the inner child experiences that you never had. if jisung is good at anything, it’s making others feel safe and loved.

yandere jisung

you enjoy being alone most of the time? say goodbye to that. you wouldn’t be able to pry the boy off of you, no matter how strong you are.

the only person you would have to deal with is jisung however, since he would be happy to do anything in order to stay home with you all day and all night with you and your cats.

he is absolutely enthralled with all of your hobbies and talents. video games? he would love to play with you, but he was also content with simply laying on your lap and watching the game. your sketches? they’re all hidden in a drawer for him to look through. singing? he would beg to hear you, to sing along with you, anything— but only he was allowed to hear your angelic voice.

but be careful talking about your experiences and family— all it takes is a mention that you dislike someone and jisung will immediately have them taken care of. learning about your past has only made him more possessive and protective over you, and he’s willing to do absolutely anything to make sure that nobody hurts you ever again.

[spikeinthepunch]

spierverse 2 spoilers. but also a long post diving into Villains in recent (animated) movies

i dont rly plan to make any super long posts about all of this movie bc theres just SO much to think abt and a lot of people are saying what i would say. but i have thought a lot about the villain, The Spot. mostly in relation to my last fave animated movie's villains- Puss in Boots 2

PIB got a lot compliments for its villain(s). You had Goldilocks who was an antag but a character you can see some reason to sympathize with, but she isnt the big bad. You have Death who is a conflict to hinder Puss' progress, and then you Jack Horner who is a villain that you have no reason to feel bad for, as its shown many times how he is just a privileged ass. It was a movie that finally really had a bad villain you werent gonna see redeemed, and had no reason to see redeemed. Goldilocks was an antag as she was Puss' enemy but we had no reason to hate her, and her siding with them eventually made sense. Death's conclusion with Puss was less so any end for the Villain's arc but for a personal Arc Puss was facing that drove the main plot.

Many people saw this movie and were pointing out how bad Disney/Pixar's movies have been with villains. I cant even think of any villain in their last movies, theyre all so samey. and a lot are trying to be the same "oh well now you can feel a little bad for them because we showed some sad backstory!". its nice to have some times where theres a complicated grey antagonist that explores the divide in interests and pushes boundaries but thats not what Disney is doing.

Often times, Superhero movies have cut and dried villains. Not bad- its just that there is a formula. You have a guy with a name and a gimmick and they bad, they must be defeated. Even in comics where things get expanded on for backstories, sometimes with troubled pasts etc, it still doesnt change it? They don't get reformed and stop being the villain.

So lets look at the first Spiderverse before 2. Kingpin was the first (major) villain (along with some on the side) and they were established villains. The thing thats important with Kingpin is that while we were given information about why he is doing what hes doing, no one ever finds it as "okay". no one thinks they should just deal with it by fixing him or feeling bad for him, because Kingpin wouldnt take that. He IS awful, hes selfish and terrible. and Nothing he does outside of those personal feelings actually reflects that. Nothing else he normally does as a criminal is related to his family that he lost. These kinds of superhero villains are often already criminals with an intense violent history, and theyll keep being a criminal.

Going to Spiderverse 2, we get a villain thats a bit different, The Spot. Its interesting because he starts goofy- he actually is trying to be a criminal too actually. He decides because of his circumstances, he needs to rob and do things like that and its makes sense, he has no where to go. But hes so confident and normal about it, cocky etc, that you dont feel bad for him. hes not desperate or sad or begging with the weight of his sad backstory. Hes annoying, goofy, and no ones will take him as a serious criminal at first. And then he starts to explain more seriously what happened. And it STILL doesnt come across like a "woe is me" kind of story. He *still* annoying and cocky. he wants to be bad. he wants to destroy everything. Does it suck what happened to him? Yeah. Does it suck that it ruined his life?" of course. Do you want to redeem him? i mean no, i wouldnt. hes still a jerk. and thats the key thing.

you can have a villain who is relatable and grey but its not The Spot. Its not Kingpin. They had some kind of "tragedy" but they arent ever going to be good and you shouldnt use them as aan example and soften them up to be easily digested and garner sympathy with. thats just not the kind of story you can have all the time. you NEED to remind people, mostly kids, who the bad guys are. and the samey bland villains of disney havent stuck in my heads at all in recent years. its not to say their movies were all bad- i liked a lot of them (Encanto, Turning Red). But i can hardly recall any clear "villain" plot lines. Theres a time and place for those vague instances, and many times they just dont work because it makes the whole story so vague and directionless. It makes it hard to remember the key points when its not strong enough from its other elements.

I just feel like we are losing classic villains because people for some reason started to think it was boring and we needed more "nuance" but this "nuance" isnt.....that. its bland written media by big studios that cant actually have morally grey characters because it would actually be too sensitive for people.

[theoautisticallyreviews]

The Omen (1976)

SPOILERS INCOMING!!

overall : ☆☆

concept : ☆☆☆☆

execution : ☆☆

characters : ☆☆☆

casting : ☆☆☆

coherency : ☆☆☆☆

spookiness : ☆

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

BRIEF SUMMARY

Ambassador for the UK in the US has a child with his wife, the child dies in childbirth so they are given a baby who's mother died in childbirth to adopt without his wife knowing. Years later, things start to go a little bit off the rails, Damien (the child) is given a new nanny after the last one publicly hung herself at his 5th birthday party. The new nanny is a bit creepy and encourages Damien's evil tendencies(?) Animals are frightened of the child, and his mother begins to believe there is somwthing wrong with her son. A Camera man that frequents through the movie sees that his images are prophetic towards death, when he takes images of the local creepy priest (of whom warns the main guy several times throughout the movie about many a thing.) The camera man and Damien's father discover that Damien is the son of satan, when finding the grave of his mother and discovering she was actually a wolf (somehow??). Damien causes his mother to have a miscarriage and his new evil nanny throws her out a window, killing her. its all super insane. Damien's father is supposed to try kill him but hes not very good at killing 5 year olds because the police kill him before he can do the job.

Damien looks into the camera evilly at the end.

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

So as you can tell... theres a lot to cover here!!! Overall I give the movie a solid rating of... 2 stars!!! I'm quite a biased source considering I don't like old horror movies (that said, all movie reviews are biased), since I prefer a lot of newer technology for things like special effects etc etc. This in mind though, I just found the movie to be confusing and almost mind numbingly boring. There wasnt any frightening suspense, the only part that made me jump was the original death of the first nanny- and even then it was just shock value. It was like being a 9 year old and having to go to a car garage for your dad's MOT because you cant be left home alone; dull, tasteless and the only enjoyment comes from zoning out. And in true 70s horror movie fashion, you couldnt hear a fucking thing over the annoying ass 'suspenseful' music

And I feel a bit like an ass for feeling this way since people seem to hype this movie up like its some gift from the lord above, but be so for real... do you actually like this movie, or is it just old enough for it to make you feel like youre unique for liking it?

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

The concept is cool, I'll give it that. The whole born antichrist thing has definitely been done a million times over, but I'll put some respect on it's name since it is technically the OG antichrist child plotline. However, the execution is questionable. It was dragged out, and it never elaborated on stuff. Why did the priest have the 666 birthmark?? why was the cameraman able to prophecise people's deaths when he had literally nothing to do with anything before hand??? why did everything start going to shit when Damien turned 5 specifically, youd think it would be when he turned 6, but whatever. The dogs are probably a metaphor for something, but they never made much sense outside of the fact its probably meant to have something to do with satan- which is also weird because why rottweilers?? congrats for giving perfectly loyal dogs a bad rep, The Omen, should have had them be chihuahuas instead, that would be damn scary.

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

The characters!! Characters can make or break a story, this time however the characters... well, they were kind of just There. Outside of Damien, almost all characters are forgettable. I watched the movie YESTERDAY and I only remember the wife, Kathy's name- purely because its my nan's name and we thought it was funny. The main US ambassador lad fell into the trope of 'dad that makes stupid decisions and takes way too long to believe in the paranormal' way too much and just spent the entire film frustrating me- like when he got speared through the arm (which by the way, a gate would Not be sharp enough to skewer him like that) and the next day was just fine as if it never happened. He kept just rinsing the shit out of the poor priest who was just trying to warn him, in fact, I want justice for the priest- Damien is clearly a weird ass kid and the dude was just trying to warn him that his wife was in danger but noooo god FORBID someone criticise your darling boy who tricycled your wife into a miscarriage- which could have been AVOIDED if he wasnt such a stubborn piece of caca. Had this man just agreed to an abortion, she wouldnt have had to have been knocked down 2 stories. Hes casted terribly too, pirely because his wife is about 3 decades younger than him. I was half expecting him to drop her at high school somewhere throughout the movie, but it never happened; I get it was the 70s, but have some decorum??? Whatever happened to picking on someone your own age. He looks like what tar smells like, and I just dont get why señor tire mark gets to be with Miss Americana. But anyways... It's hard to sympathise with the main character when hes such a pain in the ass- somewhat realistically written, but he makes you want to piledrive your face into a metal beam at the best of times. The photographer man however, I like him, I can appreciate him even though he looks like every single one of The Beatles all at once. Though, its never mentioned why this cameraman is just all over the place, he really just follows them around which I mean yeah, the dad ambassador guy is famous, but at some points this dude was just taking pictures of whatever the fuck- what caused him to take the first picture of the priest?? what caused him to CONTINUE, why was he ever taking mirror selfies?? why did his death make me cackle. We'll never know, because its never explained. Damien I have nothing to say about, hes a silly little guy who is also a little bit unhinged. He's definitely cast well though, hes the most kid looking kid I've ever seen.

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

Despite my millions of complaints, the movie is coherent- since I found it mind numbingly boring, I don't remember everything in enough details to list the entire plot out, nor do I have the patience too. Aside from that though, it makes sense. A lot of the events string together nicely and the pacing was pretty good, despite how far fetched it all was. Something that never made sense to me was the grave scene when they find Damien's bio mother and her skeleton was like some kind of wolf dog thing?? Me personally if I were a midwife and a wolf walked in, I'd probably have some second thoughts so god knows how THAT ever slid well. The baby skeleton made enough sense but I dont really know why the baby was killed when they could have just... put it up for adoption or something but whatever, I guess it is the devil or whatever.

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

this movie wasnt scary.

I dont know WHY its hailed as some classic horror movie because truth be told, I never jumped once, i felt no sense of fear or suspense, and the fact my 50 year old mother was able to watch it without shitting bricks says enough about how tame it is. Theres some REALLY good old horror movies (even I could admit that) but this? this makes them ALL look bad. This movie is the Firkle from south park of classic horror movies, a literal fucking toddler amongst intimidating older kids- not that I've ever found gothic 10 year olds intimidating, but you get my jist. My mother had nightmares about this movie once- when she was 6 years old. The scare factor was like Scream, where its technically a horror, but it's not scary at all- difference being that Scream is a really good movie, and The Omen is just... not.

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °

Overall, my ranking remains at 2 stars- this movie was a sorta weird one to start with since for some reason I didn't have a LOT to nitpick, but its the most recent movie I watched thats fresh in my mind, so it gets a review while I'm motivated. No caiman footnote because I dont think hes watched this, and i cba to ask properly

[cactiired]

Giving some additional context for the that will make your skin crawl lol CW: for blood and death

Ok so me and the dm have been discussing what Avira's final arc should be. Since a big part of her current one had been getting more powerful, almost reaching her potential.... I have also been planning on switching to Erisna for a long time so

we were thinking about either

1. Death as she's the key to releasing her patron from their prison (thats why the whole shadow thing. The patron is a god of time that was trapped due to some wars between gods etc etc and it ended up making shadowfell, feywild and the material plane experience time differently.) After the party would find their way through a maze that the god has been trapped in she suddenly goes limp and falls to the floor, dead. Blood comes out of her nose, eyes, mouth... a horrifying sight for the other party members for sure. The god would then appear in their more material form and would teleport the party back outside.

2. Corruption arc/becoming a hand of god and separating from the party willingly. This one narratively did not make much sense because her patron has always been very absent. She had no clue what the patron's true intentions were and only agreed to the pact to get a second chance at life and to find her mother. Who btw turned out to be dead...

But... we decided to combine these two. She does die which sets the god free. She is revived somehow but it's not quite right. She essentially becomes more similar to the shadow form of the patron. A creature that resembles Avira but looks off. The only way I could describe the vibes is THAT scene in the movie Kairo. If you know...you know. The plan is that she will be a straight up villain.

I as a player would in any case switch to playing as Erisna. Which makes this whole thing even more terriffying because now this girl who they had loved and who literally saved them from a slow and agonizing death in a prison cell, whose last words (sending spell) to them were "Don't you dare get captured or die I need to see you after I get out of here." Dies herself and not only that but theres now a fucked up haunting reminder of her out there that is actively a danger to the party.

The way Erisna remembers Avira is what she was like as a charming and lively circus performer who lived a simple and comfortable life, performing around in different countries. They remember her as someone who was extremely naive when it came to the world's horrors. As someone who gave Erisna hope after they had lived years emotionally shut off from other people, afraid to be vulnurable and afraid to care. Of course avira changed A LOT throughout the years the two didn't see each other but Erisna didn't know about most of it. They had no clue what Avira had done to stay alive.

And now to imagine that being the person that eventually gets a fate worse than death...

I gave you your time, now your soul is mine

[falcqns]

what's it like living at the compound in your dr ?

its pretty great! we have really no rules, other than clean up after ourselves, and being respectful to our teammates. we have a movie theatre, a private pool, a gym, a small basketball court, and lots of other things. we also each have our own private bathrooms, and our own offices. the bathrooms are attached to our rooms, but the offices are on a different section of the floor.

as for decorating, we're given free reign over what we want to do with our personal spaces. when you move into the compound, you're given a basic room with grey and white furniture like a bed, two nightstands, two lamps (one small and one big standing one), a desk, and a dresser as well as a closet. we're allowed to switch out the furniture (i donated the ones i didnt keep, but i know others gave it back to tony, nat kept hers in storage and then gave it to yelena after taking down the red room), we can reupholster it (thats what steve did, no idea where he learned to do it), etc. we can paint the walls, change the light fixtures, add new flooring (the rooms come with just cement flooring with underfloor heating), even change our doors. Tony honestly doesn't care, and will support you no matter what, because he wants the compound to feel like home, and less like a compound.

another cool thing is that he doesn't care if we 'destroy' the walls, if that makes sense. an example of this is Nat. she likes to paint her walls with acrylic paint and sharpies. it keeps her mind occupied, and its therapeutic for her. Tony lets her go ham on the wall essentially, and then when a wall is full, he paints over it with white, and then lets her paint again.

in the kitchen, there are shelves beside the microwave ovens and each of us have one shelf where we can keep our own kitchenware (cups, mugs, etc) and then we have normal white kitchen ware that we're allowed to use as well. we each have a bin in the one side of the fridge thats labeled with our names that we can put food we don't want others eating in. the rest of the food in the fridge is free reign unless its take out and has someones name on it. we have a cupboard full of different types of coffee, and we have like 4 different coffee makers because we all like our coffee different.

we have a separate cabinet and small fridge thats specifically for our medicine as we all are in therapy (obviously) and we have a variety of allergies and health conditions (Pepper has an epipen in there as she's allergic to strawberries, i have one for bee's, we have amoxacillin for each of us because we get frequent infections from fights, etc) and theres general over the counter medication as well. any medication that would only be given by a doctor (morphine and those types of meds) are in Dr Cho's office and can only be accessed by her and Bruce for obvious reasons.

we have our own private laundry room, and there are laundry and garbage chutes in each bedroom and bathroom. the laundry chutes go the the laundry room, and each chute deposits the laundry in a corresponding basket with our names, and we each have a shelf for our laundry products. our suits are handed over to he housekeeping staff and they clean those as the material is special and expensive. the garbage goes to the dumpster area that is now enclosed bc people kept trying to break in to steal the avengers garbage lol.

we each have our own garage for our car, and it's controlled by a personal passcode.

the pool that we have is an outside one, but it is heated, and Tony's currently trying to figure out a way for us to use it during the winter (he wants to build a retractable glass pool dome) as some of us (me) prefer water training to sparring.

on the first floor where the labs and patient rooms for the med bays are (the rest of the med bay is in the basement) we have therapy rooms. these are for our therapists to meet with us privately as their all hired by Tony, and we also have a gross motor room, and a 'soft' room that has sensory toys, and comfort items that we're allowed to use during therapy, or whenever we need them. if we need a specific room for something (Nat and I have a studio we share) those are built below med bay. Bucky has his own soft room as he is Autistic, and his shutdowns get bad after a bad mission or a nightmare, so that's up on our 'main' floor with our bedrooms. there's also an indoor playground for children, as Morgan visits a lot, and Clint's kids are over a lot.

theres a library on the floor above the living quarters, and movie room there too. the top floor is filled with meeting rooms, and theres a 'media room' where we do group interviews and video announcements from. Pepper has her office up here as well.

theres a lot more features that i can talk about, so if you have any questions about it, send me an ask and i'll answer it!

[aroperyton]

oh a popular aro experience/feeling?? that i dont relate to (i feel like every arospec person has at least one of those), is the idea that like, nonplatonic relationships inherently being More than platonic relationships to you is inherently wrong+malicious+amatonormative when i like someone nonplatonically not only is there numerous factors/parts of my attraction towards them, but things i do with them OUT OF ATTRACTION that places it above/More Than my platonic relationships both in importance/priority with the ppl i know And in how i feel about them elaborating;

>if im nonplatonically attracted to someone theres a lot that factors in to it, this person just Existing inherently makes me feel good in this and that and this and that way and when they say my name or call me this or say this kind of thing to me it makes me feel this and this and thinking of them makes me wanna be with them more and think of things id wanna do in the future and being with them only intensifies that and makes me seriously try to plan a (albeit short-term) relationship with them, and that is how they make me feel -but with my friends there isn't any of this, there is no deep underlying feeling and devotion and me being Drawn to and appealed by and positive feelings that makes me want to do things with them, because i'm not attracted to them!!!! if i talk to a person and they seem cool i'll talk to them more cause talking to them's nice and That is IT that is the whole story nothing more nothing less!!!!! i describe this as platonic Attachment moreso than Attraction

>when i am nonplatonically attracted to someone, it's BECAUSE i feel all those aforementioned positive things towards them that DIRECTLY leads to - like, is on the same exact path as - wanting to do/doing shit with them! i wanna kiss em Because i'm attracted to them! i wanna wrap my arm around theirs and hold their hand Because i'm attracted to them! i wanna wrap around them in general Because i'm attracted to them! i wanna call them 8a83 and for them to call me whatever Because i'm attracted to them! i wanna do this and that and this and that BECAUSE i think they are hot and/or cute and they make me feel a way that makes me wanna do that stuff!!!! -but when someone is my friend, i do things with them just for the sake of doing stuff! i don't talk to them cause everything they say makes me go awww and wish we could move in together more, i talk to them cause i like hearing what they have to say and what they have to say is good and they're nice to talk to!! if i wanna cuddle them or kiss them on the cheek/forehead/whatever or be with them physically etc etc etc it's because they are and have been a Good Friend, ie They Are And Have Been Consistantly Good At Talking To Me and handling our relationship (ie saying the right things to me at the right time, ie not Saying 'shut up i hate you!!' when i Say 'im sad :(' /exaggerated, but you get the idea) which results in trust and respect and enjoyment of Our Relationship, IE, Us Talking To Eachother.

>so my nonplatonic relationships Usually (KEYWORD USUALLY!! while its not a kind of relationship i have a lot, i Have had nonplatonic relationships where i'd go to certain friends Before i'd go to my partner for some things and i DO disagree with the amatonormative ever-present notion that your partner HAS to come first and your friends will ALWAYS come last) come first because if i lose them or ignore them to Only spend time with my friends when i could spend it with them etc i am not just losing Someone To Talk To i am losing someone who inherently makes me happy and at ease and enjoying them Because They Are Them, and i am losing this and that and this and that thing to do that makes me happy bc im doing it with Them and able to just stew in how much i like them and how attractive they are -but! as stated before! my friendships are essentially just Talking To Someone and doing things to show youre glad theyre there because of how good talking to them is!! and if i lose them then well shit bro i can talk to fucking anyone else!!!!!! they mightve been someone who i could talk to abt a specific thing i couldnt trust with anyone else or maybe they'd talk in a specific way regarding certain things that was really comforting, BUT AGAIN THATS JUST ME BEING SAD OVER NOT TALKING TO THEM NOT BEING SAD OVER HOW I FEEL ABOUT THEM OR NOT BEING ABLE TO EXPRESS MY ATTRACTION VIA WHATEVER NONPLATONIC ACTION

(worth noting i am alloaro so if some of this reads as my nonplatonic relationships kinda railing off the ability to Do Something Out Of my attraction to them and how Attractive they are instead of just being with them and Them and my Ability to Be with them, there uh. ah. theres a reason for that ;>___>) so u might be reading this and going, oh, clove, that sounds like you're aplatonic! and you'd be right! but this is where it hits a wall cause i HAVE experienced platonic Attraction before. i Have been Drawn to and appealed by and, well, Attracted To someone.... out of platonicness. i Have felt a positive and emotional way towards someone that made me want to do things with them not to show appreciation but just out of how much they made me feel and how i felt about them, but in a platonic way! which might read as 'no homo'-y and we were just awkward friends but 'friends' was Not how we described, or not the sole way we'd describe our relationship, because we were More Than Friends*, but we weren't dating or being sexual or anything nonplatonic, but we weren't just friends, but we'd have recurring issues of ppl thinking we Were nonplatonic and that wasn't the case, but it really was way More than any regular friendship at least as far as we knew, but- so we defined that as a qpr and that was the best way to explain it and to this day i still feel like that explains it p solid even if the definitions for it aren't always the same and some aren't what i'd use for that one specifically, which crosses off another definition for aplatonic past 'i have experienced platonic attraction', 'i have had+wanted a qpr', And! that relationship and the way i felt overshadows how not-attracted to my friends i am and how clear cut the definition between 'friend' and 'not-friend [gayly]' is for me! which crosses out the last thing! so i just. feel weird abt it all. bottom line is that i know people aren't saying this shit for No Reason and if i want affirmation of the concept of 'nonplatonic relationships are more than platonic ones' i don't even have to fucking go outside i can just look literally anywhere that isn't wholly and entirely the aro community dedicated to arospec and aro-related discussion...... but i wish people wouldn't act like/imply that since this is how a lot of aro people feel, that this is not only an inherent intrinsic universal arospec experience/feeling, but that anything different directly goes against other aro people, even if the person in question is. also arospec. BUT MAYBE thats just me being hierarchy_polyamory_luvr_500 and not someone who relates to or particularly Wants to specifically aim for relationship anarchy with all my relationships started and maintained by myself, which is a whole nother post, BUT ANYHOO. don't throw affectionate/attraction-ing/partnering/amorous aros under the bus please lol XD

*ik this is kinda a loaded way to describe a relationship/feelings towards someone but wrt this specific relationship, i mean it in the sense of like.

if this makes sense? it's more than friends, but because it's still platonic feelings, it's just farther along the line of and has more going on than just regular friends, therefore. more than friends+not just friends. but the concept of a nonplatonic 'more than/not just friends' is not lost on me when it's not coming from like, a romance movie, cause -GESTURES AT THE ENTIRE FIRST 3/4THS OF THIS POST-

[pjscribble]

lets go with practically anyone that is not stupider than any human would have let it go you see it.. most people that did this are nearly one way assholes.. the popping out amounts to being nice yet inside they have deep thoughts about making you repeat yourself or .. being so nice that it is so unnatural.. you soon find yourself.. lowering yourself to the nastiness that is inside of them. goat you ...  these are people that at a table with a conversation going on.. will take a call.. and impose everyone just shut up for a minute.. its the nasty nice. I like popped out.. like honestly trying to be polite... to talk to you.. do you have some time for me.. then there are the other ones.. just literally thinking of everything and anything to distract and make noise and get attention... these are the worst.. occupy your time..  this is what I experienced  a couple of examples.. I guess there are some other.. types ... but mostly.. the bottom line is they are constantly doing it to each other.. so I am feral I stand on the outside they wont let me in they show me everything.. you see to me it is transparent.. but when it comes to social and cultural.. seems inherently flawed.. maybe its one thing.. practically anyone that is not stupider than any human would have let it go I don't know.. there was a time.. I used to think I knew but ... I found I applied the tactics of the nasty ones almost instinctively.. and you know I let it go.. I am not a sociologist .. in fact I thought that I would like a sociologist.. but it seems.. they just know more examples .. and are able to apply them and like let it go.. they are like.. analyze apply... its messy.. it insists  to make noise distract.. get attention... errrr feral... I was there at the doorway.. sparkling lights walls and ceiling doors staggered either way.. a fluorescent sign "the stairway to heaven"..  you have to be led? inside the haste and the nasty to do it to each other.. .. I don't know I am feral.. like.. all new people doing the same things the familiar ones do.. I had made a decision.. lead then... I didn't want to lead.. If I led in.. I would instinctively do the things that I abhorred. maybe someone would.. come and say don't talk with her like appeared out of nowhere.. they all would maybe instinctively.. if they sensed what I was and wanted to dominate.. I never submit .. I think that I have thought about it too deeply.. maybe its what I said.. at the start.. let it go.. so I did.. I was way over five then..  I was emancipated renounced.. what was it a new kind of individuals it was.... a new kind of individuals wasn't it... errrrrrr...  do you have time for me.   hehe feral.... the other thing.. you see it right away... the pop ups.. its the same people... its not a chance.. meeting..  everything with people doing it to other people and not letting it go.. usually is set up somehow... I don't do it... see.. I call that messing with stuff.. it requires that you have to act.. messing with stuff you do it enough someone will have to act... I probably do it actually because like if they like pick up all the rocks ... like you now don't have any rocks.. it is instinct.. you might need a rock so .. I do it .. probably.. I might even come and pick up all your rocks.. hehe practically anyone that is not stupider than any human would have let it go I have all the rocks..  I have all the rocks... hehe things put where you will... its very effective and requires you to act.. I don't know... I'm feral.. but I probably do it .. that is instinct.. I got a stick and poked at the sign pink and the blue...one.. make it blink or make it plue.. they made the blue one again.. it blinked now.. probably then they made the pink one blink... I wanted to break the sign...hehe feral.. . it is what I wanted... but it was everything put where you will....err is it blinking..  stupid IQ it was set.. not a chance that it was going..  there was a chance.. but instinct .. I wanted all the sticks now.... I got all the sticks  I got all the sticks... led lead.. just go in.. maybe its use and wash offe...  then it would be set.. random.. well someone is going to mess with that stuff... your car will break or your.. blah is blah.. maybe you brought your own.. still.. just go in... its all mine........... hehe.. the doors are locked.. I checked the first one..  I checked all the ones carefully...  made sure to get the staggered ones each one...you can wander endlessly?... you have to be led.. uhhh I should not have snuck by the desk..and took the elevator and walked down.. the stairs.. you need keys... nm.. I was more than five.. maybe this will be the introduction folks.. na I am gonna erase this...a book the pool eat it idiot douche.. now we eat it.. hehe the desk it should be free.. sometimes 10 dollars.. I had a roll of quarters..Idk.. feral omg.. I was in ... no I was out.. they are gonna tie you to a bed.. and give you a gun.. hehe.. I can do this forever.. I have all the guns I a have all the guns.. feral.. okay sometimes It doesn't converge on anything .. nothing new to math nothing new to me.. unlikely it converged on infinity.. I mean everyone do it  do it all the time.. maybe if you had a lot of money each room was like heaven... like first a shower room.. then like a room with shots and pills.. hehe.. then a room with like snacks then like a room with a bathroom then like a room with. use and wash off .. I brought my own.. its glass.. then a room with.. nm.. forgot to say movies in every room and music.. errrr theres music  theres music....errrrrr.. a vibrating room with music its a vibrating room isn't it ... a vibrating room.. errrrrrrr.. I waited around .. the desk guy came and took me out.. had camera or sensors or someone heard me in a locked room.. hehe.. or I started singing.. I say guy it was usually a girl.. guy..hehe desk guy. ..maybe you had to go in the  secret way just after you pay.. though a place right next to the desk like at the library.. hehe with a bowl of peaches.. its peaches isn't it .. errr peaches. maybe it converged on negative infinity.. omg everyone is feral...wheres the gun they gave you.. protect yourself from it.. blah blah..