#like the idea that they'd catch feelings somehow is insulting

[knight-intraining]

I saw someone say something like "genuinely. What do you say to someone after filming a scene like this? As colleagues" Under a spicy gif set of Interview with a Vampire

And I KNOW it was just a joke

But like, you say "that was a great take man" because it's all pretend!

Actors are PROFESSIONALS who are hired to pretend

And intimacy coordinators literally choreograph the whole thing, and make sure everyone feels safe and comfortable.

But like, this is why people think actors are dating in real life or fucking in secret, it's part of why RPF exists

Acting is their job - they're professional play pretenders. And again it's all choreographed/coordinated - so what is likely going through their head is "and now I place my hand where he said he wanted it, and I'm going to dip my head here so it looks like I'm doing X. What's the next thing? Oh yes, I trace my hand down his chest. Man, this position is uncomfortable. I hope we wrap this shot soon, I'm cold".

Acting for film/TV especially is much more boring than people think because there are so many moving parts (which means a lot of set up and waiting for things to be ready, pausing for blood to be added or pausing for make-up, pausing for a costume change, etc. Everything is completely silent, sometimes your costars aren't even actually physically there with you, etc.). Not to mention shots can have to be redone.

It's not actually spicy, they really are just colleagues

The fact that it's pretend should ENHANCE the experience for you, not take away from it. It's okay that it's not real! It's good even! Who wants to live in real life All The Time? No one! It's why we consume media in the first place

So, to answer the question, they'd probably say something like "great take man"

[redbirdbella]

Tw - red room and MCU accurate red room body modification.

"Nat" Clint asks from his perch on top of the filing cabinet SHIELD stored the spare target papers in, legs dangling just above the ground.

He'd sat up there as soon as he'd brought her to the shooting range - babysitting duty Coulson called it. It would stop soon she hoped as soon as she qualified.

"Nat" he calls again insistent but eyes not lifting from the arrow in his hand.

She hums a response momentarily turning from the gun she was reassembling.

"Can I ask you something?"

He takes the silence for consent and continues.

"What do you do for your period pain? Bobbi - my girlfriend - is really struggling right now. I can't watch her suffer anymore but I don't know how to help her"

He looks up at Natasha. He's sincere, Natasha thinks, it catches her off guard, question now an insult.

"I don't know" she replies honestly.

"You must do something - I've known you what 6 months you haven't ever seemed to have an issue"

She shrugs, uncertain of the sudden attention.

"Google it-I hear hot water bottles help"

He sighs continuing twirling the arrow between his fingers.

"C'mon Nat. I feel like an idiot just watching-"

Natasha realises quickly that her non-cooperation might look like non-compliance. That his kindness might have it's limits. The idea that somehow this will be the straw that breaks him, makes him see her how she truly is.

It's stupid, Natasha thinks turning back to the half assembled gun, that his every action is capable of nothing more than reminding her of who is. She chalks it up as another mark against her name, that his kindness goes no further than the black hole where her soul should be.

He straightens up feet drawing further from the floor"It's ok - I'll see if I can take her to med bay. Thank you for trying"

Natasha nods. He really seems to mean it, all of it. He's stupid and stubborn and reckless and frankly dangerous at times but he's always been honest.

"I don't get periods" she says slowly, eyes no longer focused on the gun in front of her.

Natasha breathes, she needs time to collect herself. This is risky. She tries to focus on the second on the moment in what it would be like to live without the rules, to be deserving for just a second.

"The red room, it inconvenienced them. To graduate from the programme they remove all of it. Total hysterectomy. We are weapons not people"

"Do you wish they hadn't?"

He wants to understand, she reminds herself refusing to find the red room approved answer. She doesn't want to protect herself, maybe no more damage can be done.

"It can't be changed" Natasha shrugs, for once there's some comfort in the certainty of that.

"I'm sorry for my question, it was stupid and invasive"

She remains unmoved. Clint sighs, he'd thought this would be easier. That her wanting out would have made this easier on both of them. He'd seen the pictures, and how they'd burned the way into his mind. A lifetime of little girls, snow and blood, somehow fixable by two weeks in Budapest. He can see her spiralling now as she stands reassembling and disassembling the gun he'd brought her. She's back seeking safety in the mental cage she's built for herself: The rules, the shame, the guilt. He'd known it too, it's good to feel useful, to fix.

He jumps down, selecting a bow off the wall and hands it to her.

"You wanna learn?"

[hopeymchope]

'Inescapable' just made me experience something I've never felt before.

I have never, EVER before felt diversity or representation in media was something "forced." And I've always been QUITE bitchy towards people who say things like that. In my experience, people who complain of diversity/representation in fiction being "forced" are usually the same people who use "woke" as an insult, and they can fuck RIGHT OFF. I did not and could not see that as possible, because all representation is good, right? We should work to reflect the increasing diversity of our world in our media, of course. That can't be an objectionable thing..............

UNTIL!

Until the visual novel "Inescapable" immediately followed up a character's death AND another character taking a bullet for our POV characte (a.k.a. Harrison) AND a major "family member abuduction/blackmail" subplot event WITH:

"HOLD UP, these two women who've barely exchanged any words on-screen are TOTES IN LOVE and every character somehow knew it already (even Harrison, despite the fact that we never so much as hinted at this). AND NOW! One of them is going to approach your player character to discuss the realities of asexuality with you for half a day, completely unprompted. BUCKLE UP."

And just like that, I was brutally struck with tonal/narrative whiplash. I guess diversity really can feel "forced" if you (A) bring it up really late in your story, (B) at a weirdly inappropriate time, and (C) make claims about it that aren't supported by the story beforehand.

Based on what, Harrison??? Based on fucking WHAT?!

I'm left with the impression our devs realized LATE in development that they wanted to include more representation of the LGBTQ+ community. Hey — a noble goal! And the game already has an overt non-binary character, so it makes sense to push that farther. But rather than go back and edit what they'd done to build up to this or make the representation evident from the jump, it feels like they just... shoehorned these events into the late-game of one, maybe two routes in an extremely awkward fashion. The end result, to me, is a feeling of "Did y'all just forget that the world is burning down around us??? Is this REALLY the time for this?" in addition to that aforementioned issue of "Waitwaitwait, what do you mean all the characters find this obvious?!" (This does not at all align with their observations on one of these characters up to this point, but I'll circle back to that. Just give me a few more paragraphs.) "If this 'obviousness' is really the case, shouldn't it be something the player/reader could've seen SOME hints toward?" It's especially wild as fuck to suggest that fucking Harrison saw this coming... again, despite ALL evidence being to the contrary (don't worry; I'll circle back to that, too. Right after the next three paragraphs.)

I think there'd be value in having this representation appear EARLIER in the story. Not just for foreshadowing, but because it would increase the changes of players actually SEEING this representation! (As it stands, it's locked behind certain routes only.) Or at least maybe, y'know, make this part of the story when people aren't literally dying around us. Let me postulate some ways you could've at least built a little towards this: Maybe sometimes we catch the two ladies talking privately about something before we enter the room, and we know nothing else. Few people would assume they were being flirty or whatever, but if they were often paired off during our Free Time while you were looking for people to talk to? It'd become a very vague foreshadowing, which I think is better than nothing. Or, if you just want there to be some gay representation earlier in the story: Given how often one person in the cast comments on other cast members being "hot/sexy," have one of these girls throw in their agreement one time. These seem like solid bare-minimum hint ideas. Far better would be making their connection "obvious" to the player if it's going to be so obvious to the characters, y'know??

Not sure how you could foreshadow the asexuality very casually, though. I think you keep that reveal/discussion exactly the same except you move it to a place where it doesn't feel like we're talking about our petty personal matters while the surrounding world is burning. However, call me crazy, but I think it would've been cool to see Harrison, our player character, be the asexuality representative. That way A) it could come up much earlier in the story because we're privy to his internal thoughts, so it'd be easy and natural to do. Plus B) it'd be a GREAT excuse to get rid of all the moments in which Harrison thinks about/comments on boobs and breasts, which IMO are his least-likable, grossest moments. :P

So let me be clear: It's not that diversity and representation is ever a bad goal. It's just... y'know, it usually feels kind of natural. Because people are so varied and different by nature. We have so many skin colors, ethnicities, genders, sexualities, disabilities, etc that ofc it's cool to see that reflected in our fiction. The issue is that this VN goes out of its way to make these reveals/conversations feel completely left-field based on what precedes and surrounds them. It indeed feels "forced" as things stand. But HOLD UP.... maybe this was done on purpose???????

ALL RIGHT, IT'S CIRCLE-BACK TIME! Before I can share my theory on why maybe this was intentional, I must firstexplain both "why all preceding evidence was actually against this reveal" AND "why there's no way I believe their feelings were so 'obvious' to everyone else." Here's the background info: During the preceding literal hours of the VN, Harrison and one of the two lesbians in question have had numerous scenes of the two of them alone at night, often sitting on the beach, saying some pretty sweet/intimate things to each other (Actual Dialogue: "Whenever you're not by my side, I miss you. I miss... us.") under the moonlight while she awkwardly looks away and brushes her hair behind her ear, blushing. This woman is also the person who took a bullet for Harrison. This is our guy's go-to confidant, and it's easy to see them forming a real connection... a connection that seems like it could easily be developing towards a blatantly canon romance by the end. It would be a logical direction to take given that we regularly read Harrison's inner thoughts regarding the friends he's lost and how he can't picture anyone ever wanting to be in a relationship with him. (Side Note: By the end of this game, there are definitely routes where Harrison makes close friends. But there are zero routes where anyone ever wants to be with him, so I guess he was right about that?) And right after his closest confidant takes that bullet, during her recovery? You think they're going to have an intense heart-to-heart about their feelings. And they kind of do, becuse THAT'S when we learn she only has eyes for this other woman. In truth, her and Harrison? Why, we're told they're just good friends! And as to the other problem with the anti-foreshadowing of this relationship: The fact that the characters think her and the other girl's feelings for each other were "obvious" rings as horse shit in this context because (and again, this is all throughout the preceding hours of the game) characters have repeatedly observed that the non-confidant lesbian is isolated, all-business, cold, clinical, unemotional, etc. Kinda weird to now act like she wears her heart on her sleeve, innit?

With the preceding paragraph in mind: Why do I think this weird writing might be on purpose? Let me preface by saying: Look, I understand I might be really reaching with this theory. Maybe everything herein is just symptomatic of the lesbian/asexuality representation being inserted into the narrative at the 11th hour. It could also be symptomatic of the fact that for some reason, the characterizations/personalities of the cast are not remotely consistent across each route/ending — which causes weird dissonance on multiple occasions. But as a counterpoint, I POSTULATE THIS: Perhaps the devs were actually reverse-queerbaiting (straightbaiting...?) to make a larger point about queerbaiting in media. I think they might've been intentionally building to a straight ship just to RIP IT AWAY like that never happened and we-must've-been-fooling-ourselves-lol, because that has happened so many times to so many seemingly-queer-but-WHOOPS-not-really-don't-be-silly characters in media.

And if that's ACTUALLY why this is written this way? Well, I can't say it's a 100% successful gambit, but that does at leat make it a respectable one. In that context, it's bold, clever, shocking, and kind of hilarious.

P.S. The next time these devs want to have more diversity/representation? Maybe they shouldn't include only ONE POC among a cast supposedly pulled from all across Europe. These devs are FROM Europe, so I'd kind of think they'd know there's a lot more than just assorted crackers sprinkled across the continent... ??

[nineliabilityrisk]

i was only gone for thirty seconds! ( for classic freddy, from mike / @ladyseidr )

" i was only gone for thirty seconds ! "

[[ im sorry these two have the funniest potential for interactions . michael and his fucked up possessed robot bear bestie. this prompt gave me like. the impression of an exasperated dog owner catching their dog digging through the garbage and im running with that energy skdhsj ]]

-- [ asked by @ladyseidr ] --

The sound of the nightguard's voice drew Freddy's attention just in time for a flashlight beam to nail him square in the eyes, prompting a distressed warble from the bear's voicebox. Adding insult to injury. Just great. Eyelids lowered a good few moments too late, ears flattened to his head in shame — Freddy already felt downright pitiful. The fact that someone was there to witness his plight just made it so much worse.

Flashlight beam lowered, his vision began to clear, and he had to tamp down the alarm that the sight of the man's face always caused to rise within him. There was no danger here. No-one to protect. It wasn't– Michael wasn't Him. He knew that by now. If he was even capable of feeling human emotions such as shame, he certainly felt it at the memory of how close he and the others had come to hurting the man before they'd realized. Before they truly saw him for the first time, outside of the shadows. Michael was no threat, no matter how much that one little part of him insisted that he was. No matter how familiar he seemed, his resemblance to the face Freddy knew from those memories — the ones that were not his own — was not his fault.

They'd come to some form of shaky truce, him and the animatronics. He did truly seem like he wanted to help, and they couldn't begrudge him that.

"Michael," Freddy started, syllables dragged out, uncertain — it was still so strange to hear from his own voicebox. "I — do not know what happened." Not a lie. He'd simply tried to readjust his own bowtie, which had felt out of place ever since his last visit to Parts and Service, and... Something had clicked within him. Unlatched, maybe? He wasn't really sure. So unfamiliar with his own internal mechanisms. All he knew was that his torso was now hanging wide open, cold drafts hitting parts that had never been exposed to the open air while he'd been powered on to experience it, chest plate hanging off of hinges like some kind of door, and he had no idea how to fix it. Clumsy paws had already tried to manually shut the cavity, to replace its cover, but it simply wouldn't click back into place. He was — he was scared. Had he... Broken himself, somehow?

Here he stood, in the middle of the dining room — he'd barely even made it off the stage, he was supposed to be making his rounds right now — frozen in fear. He didn't want to shift too much. What if something fell out? Could something fall out? He didn't know, but he didn't want it to happen.

"I... Am sorry to trouble you, but I do not know what to do. Please — help me. I do not like this."

[sunlessea]

not desirable for who? it? if he could scowl any more bitterly he would, but at this point he'd just be glowering at ships that passed by. he may as well tie his own noose and jump off the chair at this rate. he doesn't understand its obsession with making him anything other than another check off its body count, in both senses, and yet here he is, the only motherfucker in all of london immune to getting himself killed by a master of the bazaar! people would kill for whatever position he's in, and god, how he wishes they'd try.

"i fail to understand how you're so shocked everyone gawks at the idea someone like you wants company to begin with, let alone mine, let alone a caitiff's. you chose me out of a crowd of employees on a whim, you had countless other supervisors you could've latched onto." he reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose. he is talking to a brick wall! it's not even an argument, not really. they're always like this, and he hardly even flinches anymore when it starts getting angry. it isn't so brutish with him, as his family had once been in his human youth. what a joke : his own father had beaten the shit out of him more relentlessly than london's most violent master had ever laid a claw on him. it's sick.

they're both so temperamental. it's no wonder his peers called him an asshole, to its face even. they can't even stare down their greatest fears without insulting him! with his face in his hands and it curling its claws into its palms, what a romantic duo they must make. this isn't how normal people talk to each other.

"i don't know, learning about us?" he turns on it and glowers, fangs bared in a scowl of his own. "who knows! you never thought to ask. you don't ask me things, you assume them, and then you make up the rest! what do you even know about me that makes you want to talk to me, other than the fact i'm loud and rude?" he holds up his hands, abrasively, "don't answer that. it's rhetorical. i don't want to know."

he lets out a long, defeated sigh, and turns, once again, back to the zee. he slips down a little on the wood edge of the dock, trying to reach his leg down to the water. he's too short. his hair ends up a little mussed where he tugs at his ponytail, nothing too far off from pouting. he's so ... annoyed. "yeah, because i'm sure you'd tell me all your personal secrets if i asked you. in what world is any of that considered personal, though...? ¿por qué haces todo tan difícil? todo este tiempo entre humanos y no has aprendido nada..."

whatever. whatever!

it always ends up like this. somehow, he's the one who always looks the most angry between the two of them. he really shouldn't be this invested or even care that much when it comes to fires. he's the one continuously rejecting it, after all. anyone would get agitated if someone acted so hellbent on pursuing them without even knowing their full name, though. it feels so shallow, like it's making fun of him. "i'll bet it does. most the books from the surface get snatched by pages. the neath ruins every good story it touches. every story down here is so miserable and unhappy. i don't need fiction to make myself feel like dying." he's mumbling, nose wrinkled in distaste. he doesn't even catch the implications, too distracted by the gentle roll of the waves just underneath his shoe ... until it gets too close. the sudden movement from right next to his hip of it sitting up makes him go right back to glaring at it.

"you've got to be kidding me." it didn't even know! his own expression is a mix of exhaustion and offense. if he could push it off the dock, he would. he doesn't think he's strong enough. "i really am invisible to you, aren't i?" he stares at it a beat longer before rolling his eyes. this time when he returns to the zee, he leans forward 'gainst the dock's support to keep distance between them. his voice loses its fire, slipping back into the tired monotone he's more accustomed to. "after so long, i finally gave up on the surface. i lived in karakorum more or less since it fell until you assholes buried us again. figures most the city would end up dead except me. god laughed! truly."

even it's aware of the strangeness of their situation, though it presumes itself the last to come to that realization : a master and man, side by side with little to contest ... it is not here for the sake of bribery, or deal struck, and hardly even for its own personal affairs ... it just wants for his company. and that's the strangest thing of all, and perhaps still the most incomprehensible for anyone who bore the briefest witness.

" easier, perhaps, but not desirable. " it's quick to refute, but so often is it always on the defense to begin with—where it knows it needn't be, it's granted every bit the respect its earned through mixture of sharpened tooth and claw rather than its own metaphorical blood, sweat, and tears. it shouldn't have to defend itself at all! " i fail to understand what is so unbelievable about my interests. you all act as if it were some grand revelation that i am covetous with what little company i keep. when that company is put into question, i look for the answer. " its frustration is building. beyond the way its quivering shifts to outright bristling, there's a harsh, grating sound caught somewhere deep in its throat and reverberating as it speaks; deeper than a growl proper, like gnashing teeth.

even still, it's impossible in kind to ignore its restraint : how its claws curl only into its own palms where they don't scratch the grain, even the smallest muscles straining and stretching where it resists its more usual urges. so prone to outbursts with often so little care, the mind it does pay those impulses leaves it feeling rather on edge : tenses and uneasy. how it lashed out at the other caitiff, or any stranger—it doesn't wish to do with him. every moment it's claws had curled 'round his neck had been careful; precise and demanding, but so rarely did it intentionally nick skin, contrasting the way it knows it left the near-rotten wood stained with the blood of another, a corpse discarded with little regard for the mess it left behind.

" what use 'til now might i have had in paying mind the intricacies of normal people? " considerable effort is taken not to hiss, though there still rests a scowl 'neath its cowl, fangs caught on its lip as it takes to gnawing it in the lulls between. " would you answer even if i asked? " this much though, from the way it tugs at the loose fabric of its cloaks to ease its nerves, is strikingly sincere. it hadn't really considered ... any matter of those things. does it even have a favorite color? a past-time, yes, and certainly obsessions ... but the mundane? its head cocks, and ever slight, does one ear poke out at the edges. " you've rarely taken to engaging me in lesser conversations 'til now. was i supposed to assume then you would answer something so personal upon request? "

despite what all sounds like complaint, it's curious above all else. at least, enough to stop shaking where it sits; enough to hold its stare, ember eyes blinking slow. " pages can be quite the difficult sort. but it has its own collections, you know—i doubt it would notice if one of its numerous copies just so happened to be ... misplaced, " and what it wouldn't give to see it or any of its others caught up in a fit for once! whatever frustration it briefly felt barely lingers now, replaced with its gentle amusement as it shifts itself just a little closer—practically hip to hip. but it pauses from any more blatant affections, sitting back up with eyes wide as he continues.

" you were a part of the fourth? "

[mbti-enemies]

thoughts on intj x intp?

ps. your blog is awesome 👀💕

The best thing would be how they can both be themselves- there's no need for fakeness here, nothing that's not real. nights at home together in sweatpants can be the best nights- both side by side in bed, reading, and you love them even more

intp would bring the softness a lot, and when they're tired its unbounded. they always reach out, hand encapsulated in the long sleeve of an oversized hoodie, and intj can't ever help but take it, melting at the warmth of sleepy intp

But, let's get it straight- that the burning powers of both intj and intp would be epic? they'd be so god damn in love and still the insults would flow so easy- (intj: this is so stupid intp: *immediately, without missing a beat* you're so stupid) heck, it'd be better after they started dating, each saying they have terrible taste in people and always end up dating idiots

This ease is present in conversation. Dialogue flits back and forth at seemingly unintelligible speeds, they catch the other's thought and throw another one back so quick that if you blink you miss- travelling at the speed of light rather than sound. it's the Ne meeting Ni- and nothing has ever been quite as satisfying

intp's Ne let's intj expand. they bring new ideas from the furtherst reaches of the universe, and it seems to expand intj's world. impromptu movie nights, car rides- crazy theoretical ideas about life itself; the expansion is limitless

intj brings intp back in. intj takes ideas and dives into it, Ni diving endlessly into the depths. that focus, that mind like the sharpest of blades- intp sees it so clearly sometimes and is entranced- and thinks the world must be intj's oyster with such a mind

their thinking styles fit together perfectly- it feels like they could take on the world. there could never be a better duo than intp and intj.... if they would actually finally just get out of their house and commit to that grand theft they have a l l planned o u t

-

intj edits:

- also lets just appreciate how these guy would totally be that nerdy power duo who would end up going down a wikipedia rabbithole at 3am and would trying to make a homemade moltov cocktail or smth at 6am, cause for intp it isnt a question of why its a question of why not (and intj totally loves them for that) *hwk has been shoved aside and accidentally set on fire *

- intp sending cursed memes on the group chat at cursed hours and intj j being like why do i still tolerate you

- watching anime and playing video games all day cause time is an illusion , the outside world requires to much socialising , and id rather spend all day with you

-intj looking up to see intp staring and them w a lil crazy grin and intj j sighs and thinks 'here we go again' but can help smiling a lil cause intp j had an iDeA which intj will find themselves roped into (no regrets)

- being that dysfunctional functional couple who can never complete each other sentences but can somehow understand each other without acc having to say a word

intj: we always finish each others

intp: sandwiches

intj: *sighing* you're hungry arent you

intp: i may or may not have forgotten to eat anything since yesterday

(TY BTW <3 lowkey unsure what your type is but gonna guess intp out of the two because intj is e v e n more unlikely to put hearts)

Honestly, as you no doubt can tell, this ask took a little thought but then I realised- wait! there are so goddamn many intpxintj couples all around, esp on tumblr, there's gotta be some really damn good stuff... and there is ><

beginning to also draw slight parallels to the way I (infj) love my infps- the way it all just feels so perfectly fitting and great, although more Feelings than intj/intp)

here's a little reddit link that i've looked thorugh a little that's absolute intp x intj gold https://www.reddit.com/r/intj/comments/k8ow9s/intj_intp_relationship/

[seeminglyseph]

Mini-fic to get it out of my brain, Ari and Jeremy have a chat at the Holden Wedding reception

Jeremy groaned as Ari took a seat beside him even though he had finally managed to catch a break from "Leon's", torturous egomania. "I still have no idea what your sort gets out of clinging on to people like me and Mr. Personality over there."

Ari snorted as he looked over to what Jeremy thought were much more appropriate friends for the newly minted Holden pair. They all were laughing and energetic, much like he wasn't, but then as Ari's gaze turned to him it felt heavier than expected.

"What sort am I again? Is it stupid or crazy?" There was a nonchalance to the young groom's demeanor that Jeremy could just barely identify as entirely fake. His bright green eyes seemed to shine with a mix of amusement and probably anger, though the low light made it hard to tell.

"You look like you're gonna punch me again if I give the wrong answer to that." Jeremy pointed out with a sigh, he really only sort of remembered earning a fist to the face when they'd met, but since the man'd invited him to his wedding it didn't seem like a grudge Ari still held. 

"I think Cove would divorce me if I started a fight at our wedding. Or Baxter would, after all the work he did to make things perfect." Ari laughed and waved the idea off.

"Your wedding planner will divorce you?" 

"You never know, he's highly skilled in the art of ghosting me.” 

"How does someone ghost the world's clingiest couple?" 

"Mm. Almost, but don't wanna let you dodge that one." Ari smirked and raised a split eyebrow quizzically. The scars the man had as an adult had at first left Jeremy to wonder if fighting was a normal routine for the similarly short and green themed man, but it didn't take long to figure out most were self inflicted. "What sort of people do you think I am Jeremy?"

It was a little frustrating that both Ari and his husband both wanted his opinion on them as if they didn't have far better sources for that information. 

"You're obviously still stupid if you're asking me." Jeremy sighed heavily, but did stop to think when Ari's laugh did nothing to break the expectant stare he had levelled at him. “Insufferably persistent if nothing else."

"People have called me a jackass for many reasons, that's true enough." Somehow Ari's acceptance of the insult was more frustrating than if he'd argued.

"Was one of the reasons also because you do dangerous shit to make people like you?" Jeremy wasn't entirely sure that was a correct judgment, but Ari's embarrassed reaction confirmed it.

"I guess I can't really hold it against Leon for spilling my secrets since we made him spill yours." Ari laughed sheepishly and scratched his chin, there was a slight rasp of stubble against his nails and Jeremy was briefly reminded that he hadn't actually met Ari as a little boy and how little that made a difference.

"Shiloh didn't tell me much of anything about you, really. It's just kind of obvious. If you need validation so much that you're asking me about it you're obviously insecure." That was… harsher than he'd intended it, but it would probably be a blessing to have this conversation end. Unfortunately, Ari only laughed in response.

It was honestly more laughter than brushing off an insult should involve. 

"Most schools don't have clubs for difficult people, you know? And probably most towns have more than 3 kids who live there. Isolated outsiders who… mm. Lack proper socialization? What kind of people do we become?" Ari's laughter trailed off as his gaze drifted to his giant dopey husband. 

"Angry." While Jeremy was probably one of the few people in the aquarium tonight who had been the focus of Ari's temper, he was aware he knew the least about it. Even so, he had a feeling that he might've been one of the few people who Ari had allowed to see that side, even if it was just that he'd managed to push the right buttons at the right time. "And then tired and miserable."

Ari  clicked his tongue and snapped a fingergun in Jeremy's direction, "That we do. And when everyone is determined to only see the good in you when you feel like the core's gone bad?"

It was on the tip of his tongue to protest the association between the two but Jeremy bit down and let himself listen instead of react. He did know how infuriating it could be to have people refuse to acknowledge your own opinion, especially about yourself. "So, you keep me and Fields around to insult you?" he asked dryly.

"Maybe. Maybe I just need honesty from people who don't care so much. Cove and Cliff spend so much time acting like I did them a favour just by existing around them, sometimes I dunno if I'm a Holden now 'cause they want me in the family or if anyone else'd been there they'd be just as grateful…" Ari shrugged, seemingly trying to invalidate the feelings even as he said them.

"I was right the first time. You are an idiot." Jeremy sighed heavily at the sad mix of self-doubt and sentimentality.

"That was my nickname for a while, you know?" Ari grinned wryly without much amusement for this nostalgia trip. 

"Your nickname was Idiot?" Somehow that seemed unlikely even to Jeremy, even kids were more creative with insulting nicknames than that.

"Well, no. Technically it was 'ljit' like with the accent? Some girls I was trying to be friends with gave eachother cute nicknames like 'Boony' or 'Katten' and other animals pronounced slightly wrong, but I was sick the day they decided them and when I got back they didn't want me to have one, and when I got too annoying about it they decided I would be ljit." Ari was fiddling with the cufflinks on his sleeves, seemingly focused on them and not whatever reaction Jeremy might have to the story. "So, I was ljit for about 3 years before junior high started and the girls went to different schools."

"I guess tenacity makes up for a lack of creativity…" Jeremy muttered as the ridiculous nature of the nickname made more sense.

"And then when I was finally free some jerk with a bowlcut and a bad attitude brought it up again." Ari's grin was toothy and mean but somehow in a way that seemed playful instead of angry.

"Sounds like a loser, hope you punched him." Jeremy couldn't help a little smirk growing across his face.

"Yeah, his head was harder than I expected though, it really hurt my hand."

"How unfortunate, hope you learned your lesson."

"Mm. Yup, body blows are the way to go. If you're lucky they puke. If you're unlucky they puke on you."

"Thanks for the advice, I'll take it to heart."

[samissosexyyy]

Tumblr thought it would be hilarious to delete all my work and not let me answer requests :').

YES I SHALL WRITE THE PLATONIC ANGRY PARENTS-

And thank you-I woke up and was talking to my friend in the morning and my brain just: jojo villain yandere dads. Mudad mudad mudad mudad anger.

Anyways, here they are- Do these even count as headcanons???? I dunno-

Dio, Part 1

Vampire form of course.

First thing first, We all know he'd be a great dad. Protective already, But make him a yandere platonic father? Oh boy, Trust me, You'd be spoiled and treated like royalty.

Now, I'm gonna say in this scenario you were on of his victims child. I'll say you'll be around 5 to eight.

Somehow you managed to catch his eye, Is it because your parent was just as bad as his? You reminded him of his mother? Or maybe you resemble him, and have three moles on your ear. Or, perhaps, A younger joestar? Either way, You somehow had him feeling like a father, and, according to one of my friends, Araki had said DIO would treat his children like they were royalty, And they would be so spoiled.

So, Mudad would end up taking you in, kidnapping, whichever honestly. He'd be holding you like a loving pet owner would, if you got scared, he'd probably be confused. Honestly he'd have you turned into a vampire quickly, as he knew he wouldn't be able to have children as a Vampire.

Truthfully, I think you'd end up never noticing how he'd occasionally pull you closer, or how he'd glare at anyone your age or older going near you. Or how he'd give you some strict rules, Like no dating anyone. E v e r. And why would you ever want to hurt your papa like that?! You wouldn't want to do that, right?! Of course you wouldn't! Dio knew you'd never betray him like that!!

Truth be told, he'd guilt you if you tried to go against his words. But punishments? No no, He'd never actually purposefully hurt you, Unlike his love interest, he'd NEVER want to cause you pain ever. He'd hate himself and wouldn't forgive himself for years. Centuries. Infact, he'd beg for your forgiveness.

The Pillarmen

And satannnaaaaa

First of all, You aren't a pillarchild. You'd most likely be some kind of god, vampire, or a young hamon learner. Or even related to the Joestars or Ceasar.

So, Let's say you're immortal who can walk in the sun. We all know you'd be the joestar side, Right? So, That means you'd end up hating or feeling pity for the pillarmen. First, You'd probably end up trying to make Santana hally when he awakens. Unlike with Joseph, He'd probably know not to attempt to attack you. Let's say you have symbols like Dio Over heaven, We all know how that would work.

You'd end up as a being worshipped by them, probably kidnapped after they destroy the Joestars.

Let's say they defeated Joseph and the others, and you were still a deity, You'd most likely be weaker then them in this scenario. They'd probably treat you like a kitten at first, like a baby before they all felt a connection. As if you were a child of their own, so they'd give you rules. And we all know how rules go with yanderes.

Let's say uh- you fell for a mortal.

"No. No."

[Crush name has fallen from a high place.]

"DADS WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUU-"

"NO CUSSING IN THIS CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER!"

or something like that :')

Honestly, You'd have bird dad, and a bunch of other dads. Santana would honestly be like the cool big brother honestly. You'd probably want horns too so-

They would totally buy you halloween horns to put on your head so you'd be happy baby

Now, Hamon user? They'd probably find you like a cute animal at first, probably going easy on you like it was a game of tag. Soon, they'd realize how weak and fragile you are, After all, You are just starting hamon. They'd probably kidnap you to spite Joseph and his side at first, before... Well, You didn't expect to become a vampire and treated like royalty when all you've been treated like is uh... Considering Lisalisa is your coach, I'd say you'd be happy if it was someone else doing this for you.

Josephs sibling? WOAH Joseph, When did you get a cute sibling? Pfft, Not your sibling anymore, They just adopted your ex sibling nerd.

But, All jokes aside, They'd probably be surprised that you were more mature then your brother, and...you sorta resemble a certain Coach... Oh, Humans all look the same, haha.

They'd probably kidnap you infront of Joseph just to make him feel guilt and rage, After all, Why not get their prized treasure and make Joseph angry? They'd give you more rules, until Joseph was gone, of course.

And, sadly, Not even you crying would stop them from making you into a vampire infront of your big brother, breaking both of your hearts.

Don't worry you got ice cream later smh.

Ceasars sibling? Mini pancake? Haha, They'd kidnap you as soon as they felt parent like tendencies. No denying them, infact, they'd make sure you saw ceasar get defeated by the ro ck. But don't worry! You have new parents and a brother-! Haha, Poor you.

Part 3 DIO AKA mudad!

Honest to god you'd probably have to be a stand user with a weak or strong stand, or, you were one of his kids he had with a lucky woman who survived and got a naked polaroid of him as a 'wow you lived! Congrats, now go have my kid lmao' gift. Or, Maybe you were a normal kid who was kind to him, even if he,,,,  did some questionable murder infront of you. And maybe you were a young

Now, Let's say you were a strong stand user. He'd end up wanting to use a flesh bud until he realized... He never had a kid, that he knows of, and decided to raise you! At first he'd be upset you had a strong stand like your mudad, but realized you could protect yourself from those dreadful joestars! Congrats, You became a Brando! :) How unlucky, Considering this DIO would probably force vampire masks onto you, or even using fleshbuds as a threat. Either way, You'll always be papas baby!

Yoshikage kira.

Like I said in my first post of this, He'd want to have a nice average life. You having a stand wouldn't be a problem, Since he'd probably convince you Josuke and the others are awful and rude.

Josukes sibling? Well, He'd end up telling you he can help your brother with his murder issue if you come with him. You don't exactly have a choice since Killer queen would easily overpower you if you had disagreed. You'd end up being a normal and peaceful child before long, Infact, He'd have to pretend he had adopted you behind his 'wifes' back.

Hayotos friend he never talks about? Congrats, You are now stuck with a crazy and loving father! And a mother, I suppose. And you get your best friend as a brother! You'd never be able to leave, how sad. But, You'd have your new mom and your dad to talk to-! And killer queen cuddle time.

Now, Let's say you were his own kid. Wowzers! You think its normal for your father to bring women hands home, after all, You are pretty young and your father told you most adults do this. Ah. How enjoyable.

Doppio/Diavolo

Oh dear. You poor child.

Either you were related to trish, and he somehow felt like you wouldn't be a problem before they felt more of a father love towards you, Most likely somehow getting rif of the traitors and your big sister.

"Where's big sister?"

"Don't worry about her, She's spending time with your mother."

Smh quit LIEING you jERK!

But seriously, Doppio would be like the fun mom asking you if you'd like bake cupcakes in his spare time! Read you bed time stories and whatnot! Diavolo would be awkward and "wanna play baseball or whatever kids like to do these days?" Awkward dad alert.

"My kid is fine!"

The kid they kidnapped/raised:

Casually trying to beat another kid with a baseball.❤💚💛

Honestly they'd insult everyone elses kids while here their kid is, casually scared of baseball.

Pucci

Papa priest! We all know he'd adopt you! I head canon him as gay, considering DIO and him were totally a thing.

So, He'd probably have you study Lord DIO bibles, and casually have you hate Jolyne. Probably even give you a stand, And even show you that DIO is the best! Worship! Protect yourself and all that!

Jotaro would probably scare you,  so I can see you holding onto Pucci while Jotaro appears anytime, so pucci would infact love it when you snuggle onto him lime a cute kitten. Hell, you even Sneeze like a kitten!

Honestly You'd be kept under watch 24/7, but you'd think it was normal, after all, Your father would mever do something so awful like Those Joestars claim...right?

Diego

Oh wow- dino dad :)

Let's say you were a big fan of his, Then, Well,You wouldn't mind having him as a dad, Now would you? He is your idol, Right? Yeah. Yeah!

He'd probably carry you around upside down, Hot pants just questioning his sanity as he drops you a million times. Hot pants would probably end up carrying you most of the time.

Mama hot pants and father Diego. Y es.

And, Let's say you were traveling with Johnny. Congrats. You've put yourself in a even worse situation considering Diego would become worried and paranoid over those two idiots hurting you! And he hates the idea of his baby boy/girl/child being hurt by barbarians!!!

Even though he'd probably hurt you on accident if I'm gonna be honest.

Kidnapping isn't a very easy job, so of course he had to knock you out! What was he supposed to do?! Ask you to come stay with him forever?! No! Maybe! HuawhuKaia-

Honestly not too many rules, just don't leave his side ever! Except when going to the bathroom. You'll be tied to his horse. No whining >:(.

Funny Valentine

Honestly what did you think he was going to do? Pick some random child? No no, He'd choose the PERFECT child! You were so lucky! Wow! The daughter of the mos powerful man ever! Lucky you, Right?

No. You don't get alone time unless it's you sleeping or bathing. You wear what he wants, and no.

Dating not allowed. Bad. No no no no no.

"No. No dating. Your lips will fall off."

"but mommys lips didn't-"

"Your face will melt off."

Basically you'd be bossed around and treated like royalty, as long as you listen to you dad!

Honestly I don't know if this is headcanons, if if it isn't feel free to scream at me in the comments-

AND I AM SO SORRY ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO ACTUALLY ANSWER, SO I HOPE YOU SEE THIS AND ARE ABLE TO ENJOY IT??? I GUESS???

[knockyasocksoff2022]

The Train PT 2 - NAKAHARA

| 2,740 words |

I wonder if he'll listen.

Maybe.

Or maybe I'll find him hung from the ceiling by an exorbitantly priced necktie.

Maybe . . .

Dazai always has a way of surprising me. He's stubborn and acts like a buffoon and knows exactly how to for a person's deepest insecurities with his insults, yet somehow, when we're in the training room doing two-on-ones (they always pair us together) he gets his act together and it's like something out of a dream. A violent bloody dream. 

Fighting with him by my side and just fighting him in general gets my blood pumping. Fighting him makes me feel alive.

I guess when I kicked the wall I accidentally knocked some mechanism because a mirror slid out from behind the wardrobe.

In it, I see myself still wearing the clothes he gave me.

The clothes.

I had so expected him to laugh at me, to tell me that I must be so useless at fighting because I'm a girl or to gloat that he finally figured out why I'm so short but instead, I got this and I have no idea what the hell to think about it. The insults will come later, surely. There's no way I'm getting off this easy. I'll try to enjoy the peace, for now, but it's creeping me out.

I try not to think about it, and when I get it out of my head, another less pleasant thought enters. My chest hurts. Binders are widely available because a lot of the girls in career districts don't want the hassle during training, but I've always been secretive about getting mine and I know I've had this one for too long. Still, I like wearing it more than not.

I take a deep breath as a test. It hurts. That should not be happening.

Reluctantly, I give in. Slowly as I can, I unbutton the shirt, staring at my stomach for a moment, then I close my eyes and carefully remove the restrictive garment. An inadvertent sigh of relief escapes me. I feel better than I have all morning, and I know it'll go away as soon as I open my eyes. So I don't, I fumble around for the first shirt I find, a tee shirt, by the feel of it, and throw it on.

When I know I won't have to look at myself, I open my eyes. Other than my chest, I look much the same as usual. It's comforting, but my chest still aches. A horrid thought hits me. There's no way I can wear that thing to the games. If they'd even let me. I think they would, but I can't exert myself in that. I barely manage in training.

"Crap."

I let myself fall back onto the soft bed. When I land I notice a green call button. There's a booklet beside it. The first pages are food and drinks, but the last page has a list of medications. Basic things for fevers, headaches, and congestion. I press the button.

"Um, excuse me. Could I get some pain reliever . . . for back pain, please?"

"Of course, Miss Nakahara. Is just water fine, or would you like something else?"

I unclench my jaw, "Water is fine, thank you."

"Alright. Coming right up. Feel better ma'am."

I wince. He's already hung up, and I know there's no point in yelling anyway. I slam my hand down on the nightstand anyway.

Not even a minute later there's a knock. A man in a white uniform holds a tray with a single pill and a glass of water. I'm not even sure if he's the same one from the phone, but I snatch the tray, spilling some water and slam the door. He catches it with his hand so it shuts silently before he goes. I feel myself grinding my teeth again.

Whatever. Just ignore it. Just ignore it. Just ignore it. He's not trying to be rude, he's just never had two male tributes before. Legally, it isn't possible. Yet, here I am.

I swallow the pill dry.

It makes me a bit drowsy, but I fight it.

I would ask for some quality sketch paper (I bet they have it), but I don't feel like calling again, so I settle for defacing the books with sketches of Two with the single number two pencil that was on the desk. The grey quarries, the grey mines, the grey houses, the grey training room. All grey. Victor's village. Ane-san. Kyouka. 

By the time I finish, an announcement echoes through the train that it's lunchtime. I'm not sure how anyone could be hungry when we ate breakfast only two hours ago, but maybe it's in case someone abstained from breakfast. Or maybe it's just the excess I've always heard about being so common in the Capitol. Yeah, probably.

I don't want to leave my compartment. I don't want anyone to see me like this, but I might as well get used to it. The thought of my entire district, my friends, seeing me like this on national television makes me sick. I could ask Dazai for a jumper or something, but I'm not going to go and beg him for anything. I will not put myself at his or anyone else's feet. I'd like to put off his teasing for as long as possible. I'm a big boy. I can do it.

As it turns out, the dining car is almost empty, the only other person being our district escort. He munches on some type of sweet. I stare at him. He looks well-fed. He looks somewhat wealthy. He looks happy. He's a man who likes men and they let him be happy. He even has a boyfriend.

I used to think that maybe it would be okay. I used to think that maybe I could stay presenting as a female and find some nice guy, to marry, maybe even have children, but that was when being an adult seemed so far away, unreal. Before I turned 10, it became unbearable. I'd much rather be alone than suffocate myself in femininity. I tried. And I almost choked. I am never ever doing it again.

Jealousy burns within me. I can't hate him though, not for just existing. That would be like someone hating me just because I happen to like men but don't identify as a woman. I'm a big boy. I can be mature, even if it sends my blood boiling to do so. I can endure the pain. I've had worse. It's not his fault the districts are somewhat homophobic. It's not his fault we've been pushed so hard that homosexuality is forbidden in most districts and frowned upon in the ones where it is legal, just to keep the birth rates up. That blame can fall solely on Doestovsky's shoulders. God, I want to kill him!

Instead, I sit down, as far away from Edogawa as I can. He looks up, smiling. He has an eye smile. He's cute, and in shape despite the fact that whenever I see him he's eating sweets. I'm not sure how he does it. A medical procedure, maybe? His glossy messy black hair and male lolita outfit are charming. He's the kind of guy who's cute with the potential to be smoking hot. The cutesy aesthetic isn't my thing, but I can see the appeal.

The food looks so good that I can't resist, and I end up making a plate of roasted vegetables. Fresh in a way that nothing in Two is. The soil is rocky so it's hard to grow food and what we do grow always tastes dusty, like you're getting a bit of ground-up rock when you eat.

Nobody else comes for lunch.

I go back to my compartment and continue my minor vandalism.

I don't have much for dinner, but I force myself to eat something. No matter what kind of Arena they chuck us into, I'll have to work for food, so I may as well get what I can now. Thinking the same will be true for sleep, I change and go straight to bed after I'm done eating.

At 22:30, someone knocks on my door.

"Who is it?"

"Not Dazai," Edogawa says.

"Good. What's going on?"

"We get to the station in 30 minutes. There probably won't be too many cameras this late, but there's always some, so change if you want."

"Cool. . . . And, uh, where's Dazai."

"Sleeping."

"Sleeping?"

"Yeah, it is very late, after all."

" . . . Yeah."

I didn't think the guy slept at all. Back home, no matter when I decided to put in extra training, either before dawn or after dusk, he was always there. Always. Always running through his already perfect sequences and butchering the targets beyond repair. Always leaving an almost beautiful sort of disaster in his wake.

Edogawa's footsteps retreat elsewhere, and I hear distant voices. I think he's waking Fukuzawa. I search for an outfit to wear that won't require my too-small binder. I find a tee shirt, one of the ones Dazai gave me. 

Why is it so long?

I'm sure it fits that damn beanpole just fine, but what the hell is this? Whatever.

Huffing and still mostly asleep, I sort through the trousers, they all feel too formal for late at night. All that's left is a pair of girls' short trousers. They're black, made of a thick, but light, fabric, and I won't have to wear a belt.

Slowly I put them on. They're a lot shorter than I thought they would be, coming only to my lower thighs, and the shirt doesn't help. Normally I'd never even think of wearing something like this, but it's not like they don't look good, so fuck it I guess.

Through my blinds, I see Fukuzawa knocking and go to open the door. He chuckles at my outfit. I'm still about half asleep so I don't react.

"Dazai is probably asleep, wait here, I'll go get him. We'll all get off together."

"Sure."

I watch as he swipes a key and unlocks Dazai's door. I can't help being curious because I know that the Dazai I see isn't the real one. It's one of the many personalities he's adopted over the years and that just makes me want to pry him open and see what's underneath.

I stand a little behind Fukuzawa. Dazai seems to wake up as soon as we enter despite neither of us making any noise. He looks me up and down, with a smirk that seems different from his usual arrogant smirk. I have no idea what's going on inside his head, but his gaze seems to linger on my legs. Probably deciding whether or not I'll kill him if he makes a joke. I'm still debating it myself.

After a second he gets up, leading the way down the corridor. He's still fully dressed in a white shirt, black trousers, black dress shoes, and that black trench coat he's always wearing. The coat swishes behind him like a cape. 

We step out into the clear night air only greeted by five reporters. The sight of them makes me seethe. The entire scene is too calm, too erie and it sets me on edge.

Control yourself dammit. You are fine. I clench my fist at my side and it brushes against something. Dazai's hand, which hangs loosely at his side. He gives a look only someone who's known him for at least seven years is a smile. To most, he'd look fully awake, but I can see the hazy softness around the corners of his eyes. He still looks flat though, alive but dead. He's walking unusually close to me. I shrug it off. I need to focus on hiding my defiance before it gets someone I care about hurt.

I smirk at the nearest report, a man whose age I can't tell. Capitol people are like that, weirdly ageless. Dazai follows me, giving a careful grin meant to look careless. He looks like a hungry leopard. So much so, that for a moment I'm worried he'll go full cannibal and eat the woman in the red night dress.

The sick part of me that's still deep in my nightmares says that might be kind of hot. (Not because it's Dazai, not at all. No way! I just mean the full-on feral desperate mania of seeing a person dig their teeth into another human's flesh.) But I can wait until the games for cannibalism.

-

District Two's floor reminds me of that cave inside the waterful from a few games ago. A high mountain with a waterfall going down one of its faces. Two of the tributes turned on each other under the water. They drew their weapons at the same time and down their bodies fell, down, down, down into the river. Not a peaceful death. Dazai hates pain. I wonder how he will end it. Pills? A stolen gun? Drowning?

Now that we're alone, he looks around, his eyes sharpening, no longer kind (they're never kind), but analysing, missing nothing. When he looks at me though, all I can see is a sad broken boy. I know I'd hate him for thinking of me like that. Does he care at all what I think? Do I care if he does? I'm way too tired for questions like these.

Desperate to change the mood, I imitate a bat, using a blanket. I swear I see him smile as Fukuzawa drags him off. It's always been easier for us, to use our bodies to communicate rather than talking. (I swear I've read somewhere about pictures being more valuable than words, or was that actions? I'm not sure, but either works.)

Now I'm alone with Edogawa again.

"Well, whaddya think?" he asks it, but I can tell that he doesn't truly expect an answer.

"It feels like the quarries back home."

He smiles, "Cool! Well, if you're all settled. I've got to go. Ed and I are having a midnight picnic tonight! It's something of a tradition we have before the games."

"That's . . . nice." I want to say so much more, something much crueller, but what would that accomplish. It feels wrong to make someone like him cry.

"I know, there's supposed to be a meteor shower on Tuesday, you and Osamu should keep an eye out."

"Yeah . . ." I trail off uncertainly, "Oh, where's my room."

"Just there." he points to a small corridor I'd have almost missed.

"Thank you."

"Yup! I'll see you first thing tomorrow, bright and early!" He's all smiles as he turns to go. He looks so happy, so fulfilled that I have to ask.

"Hey!"

"Yeah?"

" . . ."

"I haven't got all night. Hurry up."

"Yeah, sorry, it's just, never mind."

He softens, "I am your escort. It is my job to make your stay comfortable and tell you what you need to know. Feel free to ask . . . anything."

I swallow, taking a deep breath. Just get your shit together and say it already. "When did you first realise you liked guys?"

"Oh? Is that all? Silly, Nakahara-kun! The truth is I've never thought about romance at all, or I didn't until I met Edgar in my last year of high school six years ago. He's the first one I've felt this way about. So when I was 17."

"You're sure you're . . ." I hesitate on the word. It feels foreign in my mouth, forbidden. "homosexual?"

"No, but I've never loved anyone else. And I know I love Edgar, so I don't really care."

"How did you know? That you liked him, I mean."

"Oh, I don't know. I just felt that he was one of the few people, if not the only one, who could truly understand me and entertain me. I found myself craving his company and missing him terribly when we were apart. We found ourselves staying over at each other's houses more and more often. I'm not exactly sure when it became 'official' but we both had a mutual realisation, I think and it just happened."

"That's . . . beautiful."

Edogawa giggles, turning on his heel, "Thank you, see you bright and early for the parade tomorrow!"

As he walks away I wonder why I even asked. Of course, his love story was perfect . . . and has absolutely no relevance to mine, because I'll never have one. And that's fine.

-

My room is huge, empty, and the bed is too soft so it takes me an hour to get back to sleep. I try not to think about tomorrow. Is Osamu asleep already? Is he dreading it too, or will the teasing finally come?

I'm trying not to gag when I finally close my eyes.

The Hunger Games | soukoku |

Dazai and Chuuya are from District 2. Fukuzawa is their mentor who never talks about his games. Ranpo is their District Escort. Dostovesky is the President. Nikolai is a Telvision show host. All is great in Panem. Why do you ask?

(This fic includes Trans female to male Chuuya. If you don't like it, just don't read it.)

[ridiasfangirlings]

(1/3) HOMRA is a popular idol group and one of their most popular is their youngest, Yata. Fushimi is a fan but due to Yata leaving him to be an idol, he feels betrayed and is in denial about what he really feels and openly hates him and the group. For their latest concert, they'd be staying at one of Kisa's hotels and of course, she gets interviewed since HOMRA is a big deal and they also interview her son who is around Yata's age since the kid would know about idols won't he? Fushimi then

For once someone's stabbing people over Misaki and it isn't Fushimi XD Imagine Fushimi and Yata were childhood friends and maybe they did have like some minor success as a duo group, singing together at local events and dreaming of something more. They eventually get discovered by a record label that's only interested in Yata, thinking he would be a great fit for their new group Homra. Yata doesn't want to leave Fushimi though and he's planning on refusing, however maybe Fushimi like overhears some of the guys from the label talking and misunderstands them to the point that he thinks Yata's already accepted the offer. He feels all betrayed and left behind and decides that if Misaki is going to leave him he'll just break things off first, going to see Yata and breaking apart their partnership, saying he doesn't want to be an idol anymore and he's tired of Yata dragging him into this world that he never wanted. Heartbroken Yata ends up joining Homra after all but he's still upset and wants to stay in touch with Fushimi, who blows him off and tells Yata to never talk to him again.

Homra soon debuts and they become popular, Fushimi hates them but somehow he totally owns all their music and listens to it constantly (so he can, y'know, hear Misaki sing and think about how much he totally hates Misaki and never wants to see him again. This is also why he owns large amounts of Misaki merchandise which he keeps hidden in his closet and only looks at to remind himself of the level of his hatred). One day Homra's holding a concert at some hotel which happens to be owned by Kisa, she's trying to make Fushimi into her successor and so she drags him along to the hotel to help her get things ready. Fushimi has no interest in this and mostly wants to try and avoid Homra so that he doesn't have to see Yata again. There are a lot of entertainment journalists around hypng things up for the Homra concert and one of the reporters spots Fushimi hanging around near the stage. Mistaking him for a fan who snuck in the reporter tries to interview him, asking him his thoughts on Homra. Fushimi clicks his tongue and says he isn't here for Homra, talking about how much he hates the group and how juvenile their songs are. He makes special mention of Yata (having to stop himself from saying 'Misaki'), how Yata's clearly the most inexperienced and doesn't fit in with the group – as he's saying this though he references like specific videos and dances, so anyone who stopped to think about it might wonder how this guy who supposedly hates Yata knows all his songs and moves.

The interview happened to be streaming live and Fushimi's now earned the ire of all Homra's rabid fans, especially Yata's fan club. Fushimi gets doxxed pretty quickly and soon he's getting death threats and harassment. Fushimi doesn't really care though, like why should he be worried about what useless people think of him (and really there's nothing anyone online can say to him that isn't worse than what he's been through with Niki). Yata meanwhile learns about this from checking out his fan club one day, there's all these posts about wanting to make that guy who insulted Yata pay. Yata is shocked when he sees 'that guy' is Fushimi and even though he's hurt that Fushimi doesn't like him he also doesn't want anyone hurting Fushimi either and actually makes a post as himself on his official fan board asking everyone to leave Fushimi alone.

The harassment dies down after this but one of Yata's fans just can't stand it (and maybe Yata accidentally called Fushimi 'Saruhiko' in his post too so now this fan is like why did Yata-sama speak so familiarly to the guy who hates him). They find Fushimi's house and wait in front of it until Fushimi leaves for school, jumping him and attacking him. Fushimi's used to being jumped out of nowhere thanks to Niki and his quick reflexes keep him from being mortally wounded but he still gets injured and has to be taken to the hospital. Kisa's guards catch the fan and they're dragged off to jail but this quickly starts a whole scandal, that one of Yata's fans nearly killed someone just for insulting him.

Yata's pretty much beside himself when he hears this, frantic that Saruhiko could've been killed because of him. That's when one of Homra's managers, Kusanagi, notes that it's interesting Fushimi said he hated Yata but knew all of his songs and dances and Yata realizes with a start that despite his words Fushimi has been following Yata's career all this time. Yata decides that he can't let anything happen to Saruhiko and goes to visit him, probably with like a hat pulled down over his face trying to disguise himself. As it happens at the same time a reporter and camera crew have come to interview Fushimi (probably Kisa's idea, to get some publicity for her business), Fushimi's there in the hospital talking about how he won't take back the words he said when suddenly there's Yata in the doorway all “Saruhiko!'.

Fushimi's shocked to see Yata (and he says 'Misaki' so anyone watching can realize that wait this guy also called Yata by his first name), the reporters are probably excited because this is gonna be juicy. Yata gets right in the camera and tells everyone to leave Saruhiko alone, this guy is the most important person in the world to him and any fan who would hurt him is not a fan Yata wants. Fushimi's shocked and then recovers, clicking his tongue like 'the most important person? Don't patronize me, Misaki.' Yata's insistent though, probably totally forgetting the cameras are there as he confesses that he's missed Fushimi all this time and he doesn't understand why Fushimi left. Fushimi says he knows Yata was going to leave him anyway and that's when he finally finds out that Yata was actually going to refuse his place in Homra for Fushimi's sake. They end up having a dramatic reconciliation all caught on camera, lots of hugging and crying and of course it's all over the tabloids the next day, Yata Misaki Rekindles Love With Childhood Crush and now Yata's fanbase are all angry with Fushimi for an entirely different reason.

[yetanotherreader]

Useful—4

Genre: College AU

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Y/N Y/L/N, slight Dean x Lisa

Summary: The school’s most popular boy wants to be friends with Y/N, out of the blue. It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with her hot best friend, though.

Word Count (For the chapter): 2,627

Warnings (For the chapter): Language, self deprecative thoughts.

[For some reason, some of the tags aren’t working. I’m sorry about that.]

[[ Also I’m sorry for the no Read More thingy because it doesn’t happen on the phone app :-(]]

Useful Masterlist

Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Time flew by faster and in no time, it was the last week of the semester. Winter breaks were going to begin and you didn't know what to do with your life during the vacation. Lisa was going to be spending it with her family, Dean was going on a road trip with his friends and you had no plans whatsoever. You had no funds to go visit your family, overseas. You were saving for an apartment, and your parents understood. You were, in fact, surprised that they did without any clashes but again, maybe, living away from each other did mend your relationship with your family better. You missed them and, hopefully, they missed you too.

Right now, though, you were trying to figure out how you were going to survive the holidays, browsing the library for some books you could use for your time alone. Older times, you would have enjoyed it. Would get bored, might go into overthinking drives, beat yourself up for things of the past, but still somehow enjoyed the undisturbed two weeks. Now, it was different. Everything was. You were not used to being alone all the time anymore, there was a certain green eyed idiot who made sure to be around you as much as he could. The idiot you've started to dangerously feel for. He introduced you to Cas and Jo, and they were amazing people. Lisa had started spending time with you, too. It was funny. A few months ago, you had literally no one to talk to and now, you barely got to be alone.

"There you are! I've been looking for you."

"Well, I'm honored. Hey, Lis."

"Gotta say your sense of humor has worsened more," she said with a laugh, "Hey. So mom is going on a holiday with her fiancé for the new year. So had to cut the trip short. They invited me but I bailed out"

"I'm sorry," You knew Lisa and her mom's new boyfriend didn't get along all that well. The previous guy her mom was with, though, treated Lisa like her own, and she missed him. For some reason, they broke up and that was why Lisa  moved here for college from Michigan. Her mother's new fiance was a nice man, according to Lisa, but she just couldn't give him that place in her heart.

"Yeah. So, yeah, I'll be here a week earlier."

"That's cool. We can catch up on some movies then."

"And bars and parties and hot boys at the beach."

"Oh, Lord." You laughed, and she soon joined you.

"Hey Y/-" You heard Dean stop, abruptly before continuing, "H-Hey."

You looked up at him to see him looking at Lisa, only to realize it was her he actually greeted, "Um..hey, Dean."

He practically tore his gaze away from her to look at you, "Oh, hi, Y/N. You didn't tell me your friend was going to be here with you."

"Uh, you didn't tell me you were going to be coming here, Dean." You laughed awkwardly trying to cut the tension in the air.

"Oh, yeah, actually I was looking for you. Well, I was wondering if you-"

"Y/N, won't you introduce me to your friend?" Lisa chimed in, practically eye-fucking your best friend—and you hated to notice, it was coming right back at her.

"So, you don't know who I am, huh?" Dean smirked, flirting. You couldn't help but roll your eyes.

It was like you weren't even there while they continued to make filthy comments and it was disgusting, you audibly groaned making your way out of the library, "God, ew."

For the rest of the day, you were supposed to be busy. You had assignments to submit before the vacations started, but it seemed like you dropped your concentration somewhere on the road. You couldn't stop wondering what Lisa and Dean were doing right then. Did they kiss? Or were they planning somethi-

You shook your head, shaking away the thoughts. They were your friends, you should be happy for them if it came to something like that. What you felt for Dean was a tiny, little crush which would fade in no time. You weren't going to make things between you two awkward by acting on it. This friendship was important to you, after a long, long while you were willing to put your trust in someone. You didn't even remember the last time you ever talked to someone like you talked to Dean. He was starting to become the closest friend you'd ever had, so yeah, you were going to be happy for him no matter who he dated.

The only thing was...you weren't.

You typed furiously on the computer, trying to ignore the insecurities that were creeping inside you little by little. Dean is going to leave you too. No one will stay. Everyone leaves. Your fingers danced across the keyboard smoothly yet faster than before as you hurried to get the work done so that you could get the hell out of the premises and take a nap. Because you deserve it. You're not worth any love. You're a disgra- You typed the last words and emailed yourself the document, not bringing anything that was going on in your mind show on your face.

"Y/N!" You stopped at the familiar voice, turning around as Lisa made her way towards you, "Guess what?"

"What?" You asked, not surprised by her happy attitude. She was always so happy, it made you wonder what was wrong with you that you couldn't be.

"You never told me you were friends with that hot snack!"

"Um.. actually. I did." You said, rolling your eyes. Obviously she wasn't paying attention.

"No…" you gave her a long look, "you did?"

Exhaling heavily, you made your way to your room, "Lis, I've had a busy day. I'm really really exhausted. Can we gush over how hot Dean is later when I've had some shut eye?"

"No, I didn't stop you to tell how hot Dean is. I mean, yes he is but I wanted to tell you he invited me to the road trip he's going on with his friends." Your eyes shot up to her face, searching for any signs of it being a joke. It wasn't. Dean, actually, did ask her. They met...like...just now?

Lisa must have gotten an idea of your discomfort 'cause her eyes saucered in realization, "oh my god...I'm so sorry, Y/N! I completely forgot about you and the plans we made. I can drop going, I'm so sorry."

"No..it's..it's okay. Really. Go enjoy your holiday. I was, anyway, going to spend my time alone before we made those plans."

She looked at you, guilty, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah.." You smiled in understanding.

"I can always ask Dean to let you tag along."

You chuckled at the irony. You were his best friend, you didn't need anyone else to ask him anything for you. And you even felt a little insulted by the statement. You could do without this favour. You could definitely do without anyone 'letting you' tag along, "Braedon, really, go. I'll be fine on my own."

She went away without another word. The pit in your stomach only seemed to grow as you did your best to drag it aside. You, somehow, managed to stop the slumping of your shoulders as you walked into your room. You changed out of your jeans into your pajamas, ready to call it a day. You made yourself a peanut butter sandwich and was done with all the chores that you settled down on the bed. Switching off the lights, you pulled the warm blanket over your head. It was then that all the thoughts you'd been pushing aside started making appearances.

Your friend 'completely forgot' about you and the plans, your best friend didn't even bother remembering that he forgot about you. It was like you didn't even exist. You knew it was stupid, in fact it was really childish to think like this. Them people have gotten their own lives which DID NOT have to revolve around you. And pretty honestly, you knew no life revolved around you, not even your own. No one would give two shits if you suddenly disappeared, including you. Still, you weren't supposed to feel this way. You weren't supposed to be so much affected because of something like this. Being left out was not something that was happening for the first time to you. But this time, it hurt a little. The thought of you getting replaced bothered a little when it shouldn't. It wasn't a crime or anything. What did you ever do to make a lasting impact in someone's life anyway so that they'd want to keep you forever?

You woke up to constant pounding on your door. Groaning, you got up to open the door.

"I was about to knock the door down, sleepyhead." Dean ruffled your hair playfully as you slapped his hand away annoyed.

"I was sleeping, asshole."

"Shocker."

You looked at him, bored, for a while before widening your eyes and pulling him inside and locking the door behind, "What the hell are you doing here? If the warden saw you, she'd rip me two."

"For a second I thought you were going to kiss me," he snickered sheepishly. "I called you to inform, you didn't pick up." He made his way inside the room, putting the box of pizza and a backpack on the couch. You scrunched up your nose at the action.

"Pizza? Why?"

"Why are you surprised?"

"It was Tuesday. Did I sleep for three fuckin' days straight?!" You said, flabbergasted for a moment until you saw Dean making the most annoyed face ever.

"Y/L/N. It is still Tuesday. Wednesday, actually. And our Friday night outs are at my place, not here where your warden is ready to eat me alive."

"Your point?"

He sighed, "We didn't spend any time together today, Y/N. I saw you earlier, you didn't look well."

You frowned before the memories made their way back, "oh…

"Well that's exactly why I was trying to sleep, Winchester." You scolded, trying to not sound too cold.

"What is it?"

"What?" You turned away from him, walking to your bed, Dean following suit.

"What's wrong? And don't give me there's-nothing-wrong-i'm-okay shit. Tell me." He sat himself beside you as you crawled under the blanket to the other end.

"There's nothing wrong, I'm okay." Dean rolled his eyes as you pulled the covers over your head.

"You know I hate it when you do what I tell you not to."

"Then don't tell me what to do." Your voice came out muffled, as you replied back sharply. He sighed.

When she walked out of the library, groaning as Lisa and him flirted, Dean had noticed. He thought it was just the playful best friend reaction seeing them two flirt with each other, so he let it pass. Later that day, he went to meet Y/N and saw her working on the computer. She would look normal to anyone around there, but Dean had secretly picked up on her habit of doing her work extra smooth when she's stressed. Her shoulders were tensed and eyes sharp. Yep. She was definitely bothered. What he was about to tell her would have to wait, first he needed to know what was bothering her. He decided to talk to her after his class, but by the time his class was over, Y/N was already out of the campus.

"I never got to tell you why I came to talk to you this morning."

"Oh, you came to talk to me? Didn't think I was so lucky." Was that what it was all about? Was she... jealous? But why would she be jealous? She was so darn confusing, it frustrated him sometimes.

"You need to talk to me, Y/N. What's going on?" He said, pulling her blanket to him before she pulled it back.

"Nothing is going on Dean, really. It's nothing. I'm just tired is all."

"And grumpy?"

"And grumpy."

"I need you to know no one is going to take your place, sweetheart." He felt her stiffen just a bit, not enough to be noticed but enough to be noticed by him.

"Stop thinking you're that important to me, Winchester. You're not." He flinched. He knew Y/N didn't mean that, it was just her defence mechanism with some extra sass but it still painfully tug his heart a little bit. She made a lot such comments, mostly playfully, with that serious face but playfully. Maybe it wasn't the comment but the fact that she was hurt that was bothering him? He wouldn't know. One thing he knew, though, was whatever was bothering her, he needed to make her smile. Maybe she noticed his sudden pause because she immediately spoke up, "Sorry. It came out harsher than I intended."

"S'okay. So you're not gonna tell me what's bothering you?"

"Nothing is bothering me Winchester."

"Whatever you say, Y/L/N." He gave up. It bothered him that she had still not opened up to him even when they'd been 'best friends' for so long. Every time he thought she would, she would close off and change the topic. She still was the mystery girl he met at the beginning of the college, a mystery he didn't know how to figure out "So, you coming?"

"Where?"

"The road trip?

"So Lisa did that after all."

"Lisa did what?"

"Nothing. And well, I've got some work so I can't come."

"Yeah I know what work you got. Come on, Y/N. Be easy on yourself sometimes. It's gonna be fun."

"But-"

"Great. So it's a 2 weeks long trip. Pack accordingly and now we have that pizza." He stood up before she could protest and got the pizza.

"How many times are you going to watch this show, Dean? Don't you get bored?" You said taking your third slice.

"As many times as I please, babe. It's Dr. Sexy M.D, it never gets boring." He said casually, thankfully missing the pink that dusted your cheeks at the nickname in the dark.

After a couple more episodes, you were starting to doze off, and so was Dean, "Alright, let's sleep. We have classes tomorrow.

"There's no morning class. Just one more epi." He said, clutching the remote in his hands, like a child, "please?"

"No." He pouted at your response, defeated.

"Okie." He said letting out a small yawn. Sleepy Dean was always adorable, "So it's settled that you're coming with us?"

She paused for a moment before shrugging slightly.

"I guess...yes," he smiled cheekily as she said that, "but, why did you want me there all of a sudden?"

"Because I want you there? It's gonna be fun. I've heard girls need their girl-friends on these tours for some 'girl-company' thing. I invited Lisa, so-"

He stopped abruptly as she stood up and made her way out of the room, "I'll go and throw these boxes, you change in here."

"- that you could get some company." He whispered mostly to himself. What the hell just happened? He shook his head, too sleepy to think about it right now and stripped out of his clothes into his pajamas.

Obviously. There it was. The reason he wanted you there, it's all here. It's because he didn't want Lisa to be alone around people she didn't know. You stood by the sink and chuckled to yourself, feeling a sting in the back of your eyes. Wow.

"Same old easily replaceable Y/N." You whispered.

-------

Chapter 5

A/N: alright. I know I know. I'm a terrible author who do not care about her readers but it's not that. I'm really, genuinely sorry. Life's been really rollercoastery and I've been dealing with stuffs lately. I promise I'll be better next time. And if you could take out a minute of your day and pray for me and a lot of people who need it, please, I'll be really grateful. They say prayers are powerful and I think I can do with them a bit.

Also, please don't do something wrong with yourself. You're worth every effort you make for a better life. Each minute of your life counts, just make sure you keep yourself and others as happy as you can. Be kind to you and others, I'm rooting for you. ❤️

And show some kindness to the animals too, they deserve it. ❤️

.

.

Tags for useful:

 @fandoms-fiend @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @itsjaybro16 @mml232 @blablatiti @stilltoomuchafangirl @bat-shark-repellant @bluebell-24 @shortwinchester @always-money-in-the-banana-stand @ima-be-a-mongoose @soullessbabee @infinityspacesuniverse @vicmc624 @roonyxx @fandoms-fiend @slythermyg

[odissey061]

Motonari's route

Chapter(s) already posted:

1. This freak won't have me

Chapter 2: Kick him in the teeth

Advertisement: nope

I and Hideyoshi walk side by side in Azuchi's chaotic streets. It's the first time I have the chance to visit this city, so my eyes try to notice as much as they can about the Sengoku life: I'm going go stay here for three mounths, so I need to adapt quickly. The street are really crowded, is almost impossibile walk without  bumping in someone and around me I hear a lot of voices: some people is complaining about the high prices and the merchants negotiate. But what catches my attention are the different form my time: in this period the air is more clean, without smog and pollution; when I breath I can smell the flavours of this place, but most importantly people watch aroud them, they look interested in what are gazing at. And I see two children smile at me when we pass close to them. And I start to wonder how many episodes like these I had missed looking at my phone and I start to feel inexplicably guilty.

"y/n" Hideyoshi recalls my attention, "I apologize from the bottom of my heart for the cold treatment I gave you in this week: I suspected you were a spy, came here to watch us, but now I understand how I was wrong". His apologize is really unaspected and it takes me by surprise, but I'm glad he doesn't think me ad a Please, forgive me" and he deeply bows. His bows is really unaspected and it takes me by surprise, but now I see how much he's sorry and I'm glad he doesn't think me ad a threat as I accept his apologise.

"Thanks very much for your apology, I gladly accept but you didn't need to bow. I mean, I can understand why you thought I was a spy. I hope we can be friends from now on" I smile at him and he does the same. Hideyoshi shows to me all the concern he usually deserve to the others:"Is everything okay in the castle? I hope you are fine and you aren't overwork yourself: is bad for your health. If Masamune tries do to funny things to you or Mitsuhide gives you trouble, come to me immediatly: I'll manage their misbehave". His worries leaves me a little bit puzzled:"I'm okay Hideyoshi. Thanks for your care, but you don't need to be so concerned about me, after all I just arrived" I reassure him. When I talk he glares at me as I just offended Nobunaga in front of him:"Don't say such a silly things! As long you are in the castle I worry about you as much I do with the others".

I always thought Nobunaga was the master of the castle, the one who commands the others but now I remind some days ago he took Nobunaga's favourite candies and the pouty look he gave to Hideyoshi. Just now it looks to me like Hideyoshi is the mother of all of us, whose cares are above Nobunaga himself.  For a second in my mind flashes the imagine of a hen Hideyoshi walks followed by a bunch of chicks warlords behind him and I start to laugh.

"Did I say something funny?" he asks perplexed and I shake my head in denial: Hideyoshi could never understand the fun thought of a girl from the meme era. We pass in front of a fabric shop and my eyes sparkle with joy. "Hideyoshi, is a problem if I enter in this shop?" I demand exited like a child in a candy shop and he respondes:"No, it's fine. I had no idea you were a girl who love fancy dresses".

"In fact I'm not. The truth is I love make dresses and before I came here, I was going to become a kind of sewer" I correct him and he wonders:"Why do you like so much sew?". "The first time I sewed was for a friend: a long time has passed, but I still remember her joy when I gave her the dress. Since then I sewed to see other's smiles when they wear my clothes. This makes me happy" I explain and he pats my head:"You really have a kind heart y/n". He continues with a kind smile:"If you want you can be a sewer in the castle, you know?", I exclame overjoyed:"Is that really possible? Thanks Hideyoshi!". His face turns serious:"Yes, but at two conditions: the first, you mustn't overwork yourself too much, otherwise sew will be forbidden", and his eyes soften a bit, "and the second is that I'd like your first work is for me". I agree at all the condition as we enter in the shop.

I'm so overjoyed that mayby I buy too much fabric and when we go out I start to feel guilty: after all Hideyoshi bought all with his money. We walk for some minutes, talking about the commission he gave me but then a man approach us and asks to speak alone with Hideyoshi.

He sends me an apologetically look and I smile:"Don't worry Hideyoshi, is fine. I'll go to watch some stalls over there to match with a kimono of mine" and I leave.

My gaze is cought by a jewelry seller's stall a few meter away: on the ground there's a white sheet full of shining jewels.

They are really beautiful and, even if I'm not a craftsman, I can see their valuable workmanship: they are simply perflect.

I gaze at a gem: it's a brilliant blue, probably is a sapphire. It is flawless and shining,  around the jewel there's a gold frame. Is really beautiful, but surely the price is out of my economical possibilities.

A familiar voice says:"You can touch of ya want, princess" and I stare at him: he is the white aired man I saw the night I arrived in Sengoku period. His relaxed back leans on the wooden wall, a leg lays straight on the ground and an arm is on the other knee.

"You are the man from that night" I reconize him, "So we meet again, Princess. I'm glad you remind me" says the man. "So you are a merchant, uh?" is the only thing that pops in my mind after some second of silence and I regret it as soon as I talk. "Nice to meet you, m'lady. I'm Motonari Mori, a humble merchant who travels around the world. And what about you?" he introduces himself. "I'm the Oda Princess, y/n. I'm a distant relative of Nobunaga. My family sent me here to find a husband. I'm glad to meet you" and I do the same, hoping he doesn't ask more about me.

As soon as I say I'm a Nobunaga's relative, it look to me to see a flash of interest in his eyes, but it vanishes too soon and I'm not sure about it. "I know very well the Oda family, but I didn't know Nobunaga had a princess" he says serious and a shiver runs down my back.

Did he notice I was lying? How? I'm sure I acted the most credible as possible.

I'm a bit nervous and I feel my hands sweating under his gaze, but I manage to look relaxed:"I always lived in a isolated country but, as I have alredy told you, I left my family to find a husband". And when I speak, his smile returns to be slightly ironic like before and he chuckles:"I was joking: I trust your words, Princess. But let me advice you since you'll stay with him for a while: Nobunaga may be really different from what you think. You should keep hight your guard around him".

I'm going to ask him what he's talking about, but he glares over my shoulder and says:"Don't worry if ya haven't the money right now: ya can keep the jewel and pay me in other ways. I have to with a colligue of mine". Puzzled I take the sapphire and I leave the stall. A man talks very close to him. I don't know what are they talking about, but they act like they share a dangerous secret. At some point Motonari looks at me with a spooky smile, but I don't see it because I turn to search Hideyoshi. When I find him, he tells me straight:"We have to return at the castle immediatly: a daimyo started a revolt against Lord Nobunaga"

Although all my protests and my escape attempts (failed for Mitsuhide's fault) two days later I'm on a war field with some Oda force members. Nobunaga, judging the rebellion small, sent Masamune, Mitsunari and Ieyasu to take care of the ribellion and he requested my presence as lucky charm. His words were:"You are a lucky charm: you will go with my vassals to bring them luck". And I wanted kick him in the teeth.

I'm in the backways to heal the wounded, but the grief rises in my chest: if the revolt is small, why it still going on?

While the time passes always more injured men come to be healed.

My fingers shake as I'm overhelmed by the fear of not be able to save them all: I know the basics of medicine but if they increase more I won't be able to do anything.

A man walks in the tend and speaks to me:"Lord Ieyasu says you must go to Nobunaga and ask for other troups" and I blink twice to be sure I heard correctly: I have to do what?

"We discovered that the situation is different from what we expected: this is a war not a revolt. He says you are the only one who can go to Azuchi" he continues seeing my puzzled look. I understand why I'm the only one: nobody would send a woman on a battlefield, so if the enemy' d catch me, they'd let me go; but this is still sheer madness. But as I watch around me I understand if I won't go all the wounded men will dies, so I declare with conviction:"Give me a horse!"

When we went on the battlefield, I rode with Ieyasu and I asked him how to ride and he explained it to me, obviously not without his salty tone and sarcastic words. So somehow I arrive safely an unharmed to Azuchi castle. Nobunaga listens my request and immediatly later we ride back to the field followed by twenty five troops.

Nobunaga leads the horse in the middle of the field (with me on) and takes side by side to Ieyasu and he comments:"I suppose the girl is more strong and brave then I thought". Should I take this as a compliment or as insult?

"My lucky charm did an excellent work, Ieyasu. Where's Masamune right now?" Nobunaga says proudly. I try to find Masamune in the turmoil of war, but all I see is death and devastation around us. I hear the artillery's shoots, men shouting orders to the soldier and the screams of dying man. I don't want be here!

I close my eyes and cover the ear to don't assist to this cruel and horrible show. But Nobunaga whispers in my hear:"y/n, open your eyes and uncover your ear: now we are going in the middle of the battle and you need to hold thight on the reins if you don't want fall" and I do what he suggests, even if the tentation to close the eyes is really strong. Nobunaga leads the army and in a blink of eyes I'm in the middle of the chaos. Some warrior become pale as they see Nobunaga, but the most of them start an assault. "He brought a woman on the field. Let's aim at her: she's is weak point!" screams a man, "You'd like it" I wishper and I kick him on the chin, making him fall by the horse. I can't lean on Nobunaga's protection in this moment, so I must count only to myself. An enemy soldier draws his sword at me, but Nobunaga cuts his hand:"This is my lucky charm and I don't allow someone to hurt her" and he starts a ferocious duel with his opponents. The time looks to quicken, due to adrenaline, as I see a lot of men get killed and I feel their blood on my face, but in some hours we win the war.

Once at Azuchi castle I lock myself in my room to coming to terms with the fact that I went to war and saw people die. The next day I go in Azuchi city, hoping that a bit of shopping will help me. I sit in a restourant and I eat a fish when a cat steals it from my plate. I follow the cat until he enters in a deserted and darker street. My female intuition suggests me to go back, but I'm too hungry to listen it. And I regret it when someone grabs my arms in a strong grip. I understand I'm in big trouble and I start to feel panicated when my mounth and my nose are covered by a tissue. I stop to breath to don't inhale chloroform and I squirm violently as much as I can. "Keep quiet if you don't want be hurted, little girl" says a male voice close my hear. I give him a head butt on his chin to free myself, but the grip on my fists os more thight and painful:"Unlike my captain I'm not a very patient man: if you keep on with your vain and useless resistence I won't so kind like now". I scream, but from the mouth exits only a low, muffled breath. "I told you to behave, little girl" growls the man and my head is crushed violently against the wall until I loose conciousness.

Posted on 8/11/'19