#like that's pathetic on a whole new fucking level when you are supposedly Too Crazy that the only thing they offer you is jail
Text
like there's that specific feeling of tiredness and emptiness and hopelessness that never abates anymore. the visceral feeling of beeing too ill to continue living despite my body still struggling through the days fairly fine.
the closest thing i can describe it with is "not fitting in" and "being the wrong tool for the task", it's not like a societal pressure really, but the feeling of being too broken to continue existing. like. this is not supposed to happen to anyone. stronger people than me gave up. i feel like a puzzle piece for some reason put on a chessboard as a figure, forced to play the game, when i don't even know what piece i am supposed to be, because the concept of chess is alien to me.
#my father got my tg info to 'talk to me more' but all i got since october is a generic new years wish and nothing else#i guess i shouldn't be too hung up on it because i don't want to talk to him after what he pulled at my birthday#but it irks me that i am a 'person' that's so awful even my fucking parents don't give a single fuck#that people always promise it'll get easier and one day i will be happy and they'll help me to get better#but i know every word of that is utterly empty and doesn't mean shit#it's my fault really for being this broken and this awful to everyone#even people i PAID to help me gave up on me#is there genuinely any hope for someone who gets dropped by every 'mental health professional' who is paid to deal with you#i don't remember when i went to the clinic and got the same psychiatrist twice in a row - they basically play hot potato with me#and whenever i try to talk about things that actually matter to me they force me to retract my statements by threatening sectioning#like that's pathetic on a whole new fucking level when you are supposedly Too Crazy that the only thing they offer you is jail
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
marmeladyorange
Mashed-up Sunlight
thegemstonehub
The Gemstone Hub
dorisvisits
CRUISE DORIS VISITS
lovearturo1985
Sin título
