#like sure I'll keep writing it but it'll stay in my notes app and never see the light of day

[very-uncorrect]

God please please please comment on writing you like

I got one comment on an original story I'm writing on AO3 and it's given me back my motivation

[eleanorfenyxwrites]

SOLDER POET KING 👀 if you want to talk about it. Idk if you want specific questions or anything. How's it going.

But also. If you want multiple. My eyebrows went up so fast they tried to escape my face when I read "Nielan Brokeback Mountain AU"

Hi Woob!

I would LOVE to talk about Soldier, Poet, King and the Brokeback Mountain AU!!

SPK first:

It's going surprisingly well considering how long it's been since I posted 😂! I've been working verrrry slowly on the next chapter - for most of that time I've had a very vague, general idea of how I want the story to go from here but fairly early on I hit a stumbling block with the specifics of actually getting it to go there. But I've very recently figured it out!! Shower thoughts to the rescue!! So now that I have the concrete idea I just need to write it, which as we all know is also at least half the battle. That being said, there's just shy of 5k words of the next chapter written already, and I'll probably end up doing at least another few thousand before the chapter's done and ready to post. And also, while I'm not going to actually commit to a chapter count because I still don't actually know for sure exactly how much story we have left before the end, I would like to get it done in under 20, which would mean at most 6 more chapters (or 5 that are currently not written at all)? And honestly it'll probably be fewer than that considering how much I try to cram in each chapter and how close we actually are to the climax of everything I wanted to do with this story.

And now the Brokeback Mountain AU, my beloved! Ugh I (mentally) fucking roll around in this fic like a pig in mud so often it's a little embarrassing, but actually sitting down to plot/write it? I keep ending up writing the OPCU instead for the Cowboy Vibes since they're much less depressing (which is why the OPCU exists in the first place) 😅

In case you've missed the few bits I've shared for it before, I've tentatively titled it 'I Wish I Could Quit You', which I've realized since doing is a quote I've slightly misremembered, so I might end up changing it to the actual quote - or I might just leave it! I like the way it flows as it is.

I haven't posted anything new for the AU in a while so I hope you'll accept this very short little bit of brainstorming I had in my notes app a while back about who Nie Mingjue (he's Ennis Del Mar in this AU) would marry and why:

"Nie Mingjue is already engaged to Wen Qing when he meets Xichen. They met as children thanks to their parents and they've kept in contact, bonding a little over the shared experience of being orphans raising their brothers. They're both too practical and busy to wonder if their mutual respect is affection or not so they've gotten themselves engaged recently, and by the time they marry that autumn he comes down off the mountain, they have (separately) talked themselves into thinking it's romantic love."

And as a thank you gift for asking, some brand new thoughts (well I've thought them before but haven't written them until now) about how I think their arc will continue!

I think Wen Qing sees Nie Mingjue's loneliness and anger, knows exactly where a lot of it comes from (though of course not all of it), but she still doesn't really know how to help. She's good at fixing him up when he comes home with the occasional injury from working such hard jobs, she's good at rubbing the tension out of his aching muscles at the ends of long, gruelling days, but something in her doesn't know how to be emotionally vulnerable enough to let him be vulnerable in return. They don't talk about his feelings, or hers. They have two daughters, and it doesn't do anything to fix either of their issues, it only makes them worse. By the time Xichen comes to visit and she sees her husband kissing this old 'buddy' of his with a desperate passion he's never once had for her, she's almost relieved, under all the hurt and disgust and anger. She stays with him because she doesn't know what else to do, but she knows him now and it taints everything, it makes her feel stupid and foolish and useless and her pride just won't allow this to go on for much longer. They fight more and more and more, and she finally leaves him when she can force herself to face the fact that it'll just have to be her and their girls against the world, and maybe that'll be better than being trapped in a tiny apartment with this enormous man who loves in a way she can't understand. Whatever this is, she can't fix it - she never could. As much as it hurts, and as furious as his issue makes her every time he lies to her to keep fucking his 'friend', she accepts the inevitable and files for divorce without telling him what she knows. Nie Mingjue never misses a single child support payment or his turn to take one or both of the girls, even when she knows he's broke or busy with his seasonal work.

[transfemlogan]

plz teach me how to start writing smth /silly

i want to write a fic but idk how to start lol

-rauberrauber

I WILL TELL U MY WRITING PROCESS (BADLY EXPLAINED) @rauberrauber

STEP ONE: THE IDEA PHASE !!!

Come up w/ an idea & then write it down like. Halfassedly. Like my current fic was written down as "Logan transforms in2 a wolf on a full moon & virgil stays w/ him & makes a potion or whatever 2 keep the pain away & then he just turns in2 a dogy" (exact quote) & then was added onto 2 make my outline

This is my current outline (censored just so you guys dont. Get spoiled 4 everything that happens in the fic HEHDKDN) its just a lot of like rambling, trying 2 get everything in ordsr

REVYS TIP: MAKE SURE YOU ARE DAY DREAMING ABOUT YOUR IDEA NONSTOP. /silly whenever I try to write something when I haven't thought about how it'll go while I'm doing a chore or listening to music or falling asleep, the idea will never ever come out bcuz I have no idea what I'm even trying to do.

STEP TWO: THE PLANNING PHASE !!

Start planning ! I use Notion 2 organise everything, but i used 2 use my notes app 4 the longest time (& sometimes still do if I am too lazy to open my computer).

I write down a basic summary of my plot, how many chapters there are if its a chaptered fic, the characters & relationships, a timeline if its needed, a to-do list (ex. Research [insert thing], give the characters last names, create the timeline, etc), a list of what I need 2 research (& then keeping track of everything I research), title ideas, world building, etc etc

My planning phase is like... A Lot of work bcuz i really like to plan! It is my favourite part of any creative work i do, bcuz there is something wrong w/ me /j /silly.

This is sort of what my notion page looks like for "To The Tune Of Your Death". I also have a page for character info, like pronouns & ages & genders & races & relationships w/ each other, & two separate timelines with exact years and days (bcuz it is very much needed 4 this entire au). One for the main fic timeline (like when Janus dies and when Logan and Virgil start dating) AND one for background information (like their parents divorces, bcuz it unforrunately relates to the fic)

REVYS TIP: DO NOT GET SCARED BY HOW MUCH PLANNING I DO. it is entirely a me thing. I have yet to meet anyone who plans as much as I do & enjoys it like I do.

STEP THREE: THE WRITING PHASE !!

Note: the writing & planning phase overlay each other A Lot. You are going to start writing & then pause 2 keep planning or u will be planning & realise you need to start writing to Continue to plan. This is very normal, esp if ur researching for a disability or a race— you will not do research One Time & know everything immediately.

START WRITING!!! I always have like 7-10 drafts & I'm usually rewriting as I write. I use CalmyWriter to write on my computer and then I transfer it to discord so I can have it on my phone. I also use my notes apps a lot of the time! Bcuz its easy to just write on my phone anywhere than wait 2 use my laptop. I avoid google docs, simply bcuz i absolutely hate google docs (& it usually lags real bad 4 me)

(I do however transfer everything to google docs once I am done, bcuz i like 2 share my fics w/ ppl who want 2 beta!)

When I start my first draft (which u will always have a first draft) I am not at all focused on grammar, spelling, or "good writing", I'm focused on getting the idea down & the basic flow of events & following my outline (unless it needs to be revised). Literally my first drafts are so awful & thats the point.

Its usually very like (example): Virgil walked to the store and he bought this. [Insert what he bought as it relates to what he will be doing later] logan said hi to him he is blushing & gay. They arw talking. [Skip kissing scene] janus dies yayyy yippee

Thats what my 1st drafts r like. & then either once I am done, or while I am writing, I'll start revising. I will go back and rewrite scenes or add scenes in or move stuff around. Sometimes I have my 1st draft side by side with my revision & sometimes I go off memory

& once I am done w/ my revision... I do it all over again. & then again. & then I keep doing that until its finished.

I always keep my sketchbook & a pen/pencil by me while I am writing, incase I need to make a quick note of something for later or if I need to sketch out a layout of somehing (for example, I stopped to layout Virgil's witchcraft/office room while writing tge analogical fic)

STEP FOUR: UM. THE REST... OF IT ALL PHASE !!

I title my fic (if it hasnt been titled already), I create a summary for AO3, I send it out for my friends who want to beta, I reread it like 50 times & go "wow I am so good at writing", I create drafts on tumblr & ao3 and make sure its tagged correctly & the correct ppl r @ ed if i had a taglist of some sort etc etc

Any of my fics (or art) that you see get posted, were 100% in my drafts for like 3 hrs b4 they were posted bcuz i kept going through it and making sure everything is good (esp bcuz i cross post on tumblr & ao3)

& that is... pretty much my entire writing process broken down.

I think one of the scariest parts of starting to write for me personally was the first draft part. I always felt like it needed to be good IMMEDIATELY or else i wasnt being a "good writer". But most, if not all, writers dont start off "writing good", they start off with a shitty rough draft. & then keep revising & rewriting.

The best advice i have ever seen was "just start it", bcuz if ur so caught up on writing well, nothing will ever get done. Just GO START IT RIGHT NOW GO QUICKLY RUN!!!!!! RUN !!!!!!!!!!!!! WRITE !!!!!!!!

[fadedsweater]

WIP Wednesday

It is neither Wednesday nor anywhere near the date when I was tagged, but I was deep in Arlathan Exchange writing and was busy this past Wednesday. Thank you to @oxygenforthewicked and @crackinglamb for tagging me 💛💛💛

I'll tag (with no pressure to post on Wednesday or at all) @dreadfutures, @rosella-writes, @plisuu, @bluewren, and whoever else feels like participating. (Also I never know who to tag so apologies if I keep tagging you over and over gahajsjqhafa)

This not-Wednesday wip is a little solavellan kid fic thing I found in my notes app lol. It's from my modern Thedas with magic au (which is honestly more magic-tech than truly modern but there's still like TVs and stuff), and probably takes place sometime shortly after Athdhea, Dawn.

CW for postpartum health/ postpartum mental health talk and like, general baby talk.

"You don't think it's weird?" Eira said.

"I mean." Shara shrugged. "It's a little weird. So what?"

Eira felt like a mess of a creature. She was exhausted and hormonal and even as her body healed it seemed to find new ways to betray her.

Eira frowned and tapped her fingers on the table. Their lunch hadn't even arrived yet and already she felt antsy. She knew there was no logical reason to be antsy. Her baby was well taken care of and safe, and Eira didn't even plan on being away for long. Her family had stayed with them to help with the baby for weeks and weeks, and had taught Solas all they knew during that time. He was careful and devoted. He would be fine, she knew, by himself. In fact, he'd encouraged her to take some much needed time for herself away from the house and the baby. Yet she couldn't quite quell the little seed of worry and guilt that had rooted in her brain. "I actually think it's kind of cool. Like: here's the Lord of Nightmares and his....adorable little baby! That's cute! That's fun!" "He hates that title," Eira sighed. "Never say it in front of him if you don't want a lecture. Should I check in? He'd call if something -- " "It's been an hour," Shara said. "He's taken care of her for more than an hour before." "Yes, but I was in the house, still." Eira rubbed at her temple. "I know. I'm being neurotic, I know." "Eira," Shara said, her tone serious. "I've seen him take care of her. That man is so careful you'd think he was handling a bomb." "I know." Eira took a sip of water and watched the waitress set down their order. Shara thanked her with a polite smile. "Do you think we've doomed her to a lifetime of that? Being the daughter of the 'Lord of Nightmares'?" She made a face as she said it.

Shara looked at her. She reached across the table, over the food, and put her hand on Eira’s. "Don't do that to yourself. Seriously. Don't."

She thought of Solas, also exhausted, hurrying about their little house, changing diapers and making bottles and cleaning messes, humming old lullabies under his breath. For some reason the image was comforting.

"Nothing will happen," she said aloud, as if that made it more true. "If something was wrong he would call me right away. But nothing is wrong, because Adhlea is healthy and he is a good father."

"That's the spirit," Shara said. "Now eat." "I feel like my brain's been fried," Eira said darkly, taking a bite of her sandwich. It was delicious. Much better than the leftovers and hastily cooked meals she'd been persisting on. Better than the takeout, too, because she was eating it fresh, on a plate, at a table, and not in her underwear on the couch with a crying baby nearby. "I mean, it kind of has." Shara shrugged. "But it'll get better. I promise." "You're not a mom." "Sure," Shara said offhandedly. "But aunt Faya said all the same stuff you're saying, and she felt better later, too. And if it gets worse, or gets bad, or it doesn't get better, you can do what Midha did." Eira had no memory of what Midha did. She blinked. "She got some meds and it was okay. And we found her a nice Dalish therapist." "You sound like a commercial." "I was trying to be reassuring." "And I appreciate it," Eira said. "Do you think he was really confused by commercials when he woke up here? Like there's no way advertising existed thousands of years ago, right?" Eira tried and failed to hide a smile. "Do you just ask me all the terrible questions that you're too afraid to ask him?" "Not afraid," Shara said. "He's not scary. But like you said, he'll lecture. Or try to like, trap me in a philosophical debate." "Oh, he thrives on that."

[kindlythevoid]

1 and 2 for the ask game perhaps?

Oooh, okay!!

I kind of just went off, so in the interest of space:

1. What story (stories?) are you writing rn that you’ll most likely publish next? ∩(´∀`∩)

Hopefully? One of two stories.

The one that I started earlier is my Fallout 4 fic called The Stapinski's, which is my take on a Fallout 4 Minutemen runthrough with Nate and Nora surviving. I know that traditionally in the story Nate was in the military and Nora was a lawyer, so I'm keeping that, except Nate is, like, a surgeon/doctor/medic and Nora has ASPD. It'll mostly be written in a series of snapshots, with one longer intro story and then parts of the main Fallout story that I think would be interesting/changed with these versions of Nate and Nora. However, I'm unlikely to post it until I do another runthrough of Fallout 4 which... idk when it's gonna happen, ha ha!

The second story is my Baby Driver x Fast and Furious crossover fic. There is a chronic lack of Baby Driver fics in general, but especially ones in this crossover, which is devastating. But this one fic had Brian and Debora as siblings and I really just sunk my claws into that concept and started typing away. I don't really have a solid plot, per se?? It's super self-indulgent and takes place after Baby gets out of prison and... at some point in the F&F franchise (probably after the 4th or 5th movie, there are just so many, ha ha!!)... but I'm having fun with a more Debora-centric fic and the interactions between the everyone!! (I also may or may not have stayed up reading an official handbook on classifying prisoners for this fic?? I sincerely doubt it'll affect the plot in any way, but I did and if anyone is curious, it's thought that Baby went to Georgia Diagnostic and Classification State Prison.)

Realistically? The next installment of Rewind, which as of right now is called In Every Stitch and Seam. I am technically still on break, but it wasn't meant to be an indefinite break, oops!! It's just. So Ridiculously Long. This one I am more or less sure of the direction and have a vague notion of what I want each chapter to look like, but writing it has gone... slowly. I'm still working on chapter 6 (out of possibly 21) and I want to be farther in before I start posting so that they don't have too many loose ends if I accidentally drop the ball later on. (Sorry, y'all!!)

But yeah, probably not anything soon. I'd love to keep posting, but, unfortunately for me, nothing is finished, ha ha!

2. What story (stories?) are you writing rn that will most likely linger in your head for an undetermined period of time? (*´▽｀*)

Soooo many stories. I really really want to get around to posting soooo many stories that I have in my docs and my notes app and what-have-you. I really do have so many fics that I haven't posted, it's devastating. (Each one being unashamedly self-indulgent and written so many years ago definitely is not contributed to that, no, not at all.)

I'll focus on written stories instead of just story ideas... I have a few Assassin's Creed ficlets that may never see the light of day. One's, like, a Hallmark AU fic?? With light undertones of mafia?? It's soooo olddd, smhhhh. (∩∀`)/ There's also, like, a genuine songfic that I wrote forever ago. That I could absolutely be persuaded to post, but it's part of a series and the rest of the series wasn't finished and at this rate probably never will be.

This really just descended into early cringe me, but back in the day when I first started reading fanfics, I would notice the billion and one fandoms tagged in a single fic, never read them, but assume that somehow?? they were including each of them in a coherent story??? or something?? (Tbf, I think some of them were, and kudos to everyone who was able to do it, but for the most part I'm pretty sure they were just requests or something) Anyway, so lil ol' me decided to do something like that, too. And the best way I could think of this, for some reason, was to put all my fandoms, each and every one, in a single neighborhood. Each fandom had a house, everyone had a backstory, there were multiple stories detailing the history of each house and one story about my "latest" fandom moving in. I kept track of literal hundreds of characters as people in every day jobs in the town. It was insane. I still pass by it in my docs sometimes and smh. In conclusion, no, this will never see the light of day.

Okay, that was a lot, but absolutely why I made this game, so thank you so much for asking!!

Kindly,

The Void

[asavt]

Another cookie squad Headcanons

Featuring Sparkling, Vampire, cellphones and the Espresso and Madeleine Story of how they came together. Consider it an AU now baby!

-As a note, when I say the squad I'm mostly referring to the adults, so no worries about Walnut or Creampuff useless I mention them too

-Each one of the squad has been in Sparkling's bar at last once. There's no need to say who has been there the most. Sparkling has a time every time someone besides Roguefort comes, because to him it's mostly like "Oh I'll finally know the continuation to the burnt toast accident or maybe the cat catastrophe? Maybe a new POV of the--"

He practically knows a lot of what happens in between the squad.

-As another note, Sparkling's bar is called Milabo (You know, like the song from Zutomayo of the same name, which, btw, I relate a lot to Latte)

-*A great part of this “AU” is kind of inspired by the song. Part of its lyrics and vibe.

-Vampire is there most of the time when the squad visits the bar (it's almost as if he never leaves the bar and this is definitely not me low-key putting sparkvamp in this oh no--) Sometimes the fakes his sleep to listen to the things others say (Which is how he knows most of Rogue's pan-ic).

-Walnut has been in Sparkling's bar too, but at day and for case-solving purposes only. Sparkling will give her some alcohol-free drink for free sometimes (mostly because he gets along pretty well with the nut family and because Almond usually pays him whatever he serves her).

-If the squad had cellphones (and probably an app like discord because.), their group chat would initially be called "Coffee mage appreciation group" and then be changed to "Coffee bean appreciation group"

Coffee Bean: Can we please change the group name and mine?

Guided by the Devine: No <3

Coffee Bean: Fuck you.

-*And they all would dedicate half their time to make fun of Almond but with love.

-Espresso has been mistaken for a dark mage before by Almond. It was how they meet actually. Almond had pulled him to interrogate him and got a long lecture on the differences between black magic and coffee magic.

-Madeleine gets along rather well with Roguefort. Rogue seems impressed by Maddie’s acting skills.

-Madeleine is currently living with Espresso. Out of his armor most of the time. He usually takes care of keeping the house clean and preparing meals (He never really had to cook before but the first dish he made wasn’t bad at all). Sometimes he will tag along Almond in the detective’s work, or Almond will ask for his help.

-I’m still unsure if I want the Almond/Roguefort/Latte to be romantic or platonic. But honestly? Both are good. Latte is pretty close to Almond and Roguefort but not in the way she is with Espresso (that makes them look like siblings jkashduawhu). Perhaps I’ll keep it platonic.

-The Espresseleine/Madespresso story of how they came together, because I seem to not be able to write it down JSHALDHUIWADWA-

--It happens after the Puppet Show mini quest. Madeleine starts to ask for Espresso's "assistance" in different mission that are given to him. Angel is there too, of course.

--During these missions is that Essy clarifies that no, they are not friends, no, he does not like Madeleine. Bringing up the knight begin too prideful and self-centered if not all then most of the time.

--Is not until one of their missions goes wrong, were Angel is knocked out and Espresso (seeing and knowing that if Madeleine is knocked down too they might not be able to go back to the kingdom ever) pretty much receives a rather big attack for Madeleine is that he kind realizes the facts given by espresso true. All while he is carrying Essy and Angel back to the kingdom, running and exhausted too.

--Clover begin kind of a mediator between the two (I want to see more of my son--)

--"Devine, protect us" Should happen too after this. An scenario like, Madeleine coming to think something like "I'm the shield, the one who goes on the front line and receives the blows for those who can't, always looking straight ahead... but if I am doing that then who watches my back? Who do I rely on and trust to take care of most enemies so the damage received is not overwhelming...?"

Power of team work baby!!!

--As a note to this, Maddie getting his cape damaged as well as his hair. So, you get short hair Maddie~

(I've been drawing him with short hair in secret now I have an excuse to show)

-- "You...cut your hair..." *Madeleine touches the points of it with one of his hands, pensive* "...pft it'll grow back!"

--There's also this "Search for your own light" thing between Angel and Maddie. Angel encouraging Madeleine to do so. Maybe Madeleine giving his best wishes to them for their wish to fly before they decide to part ways.

--Madeleine trying other ways to befriend Essy. Which at first Espresso mistaken as the knight usual attempts to befriend anyone he sees out of habit and attention seeking, but once they realize the feeling is completely genuine, Espresso is rather perplexed.

--"You can't just befriend people by buying them gifts (although I do appreciate them)" "Then what?" "hmm..."

--Said gifts used to be rather expensive things, simple though. Eventually Madeleine settles to just pass by Espresso's place, give him any food he had bought that day (which usually is glazed donuts), ask if he needs any help with something (getting a vase, materials, moving things), and if not then he just says his good byes, best wishes and silently leaves. (A note on the "silently leaves": Madeleine is pretty much used to speak loudly and enter loudly anywhere, he still does this at this point, but when it's about Espresso he is a bit more quiet, a bit showy over his entrances still, but less loud, and he actually knocks the door)

--Madeleine eventually manages to go out with Espresso to other places that aren't some place in the forest full of enemies. Probably after some more visits to his place and more calm talks between the two, Madeleine brings up that Espresso tends to act a bit cold or distant towards a lot of people, and that, although he understands his discomfort at begin in public spaces or too long out of his work, he should try and open up a bit. This reminds Essy of a certain friend he hasn't seen in some time, and from whom he keeps getting letters.

--Shenanigans.

--There's still some bickering between the two, always with a playful undertone though.

--Espresso explains Madeleine, one time the knight has gotten Espresso wrapped in a blanket burrito again and got him to bed, that sometimes, no matter how tired he might feel, he is simply unable to sleep. Part of a headcanon of mine that coffee magic has this side effect on it's users, prolonged usage of this kind of magic will induce a high caffeine kind of state, which on the long run can fuck up the user's sleep schedule. Madeleine understands this, but remains stubborn about keeping Espresso in the bed so at last he can get some rest from his work and clear his mind a little, the idiot falls asleep in the process and Espresso doesn't try to wake him up.

--This happens several times after, neither of them thinking of the implications of not begin bothered by the sudden closeness they share until it's too late.

--Espresso realizes first that he has slowly, yet nicely, fallen for Madeleine. I think I talked about this before but I'll do it again: Is in one of the times Madeleine has gotten Espresso to bed to get some rest, Espresso not begin able to fall asleep and Madeleine doing again. Is while he thinks of how he has gotten to know Madeleine for real, not the Knight Commander from a noble family or the Chosen by the Devine, but as he is, that he comes to think that "Ah.... I love him" and he remains calm about it.

--Espresso doesn't overthink it, just thinks that, if Madeleine ever got an interest in him, he would surely show it. So he waits. Even if in the end his feelings aren't mutual he knows he'll do just fine remaining friends.

--Madeleine realizes not many days after. And the realization hits him like a truck. Alone in his place and probably in bed looking at the ceiling thinking about Espresso. Once he realizes and thinks about it a bit more his face gets all red and chooses to scream in the pillow.

--He would think about telling Espresso as soon as he can, after all, he doesn't want his feelings to make their friendship weird. He values it, a lot. Maybe because his friendship with Espresso it's the first one where he genuinely wanted to become friends with someone.

--Espresso takes the confession calmly, gets all flustered after they kiss for the first time.

--As a few extras of this: Madeleine goes back to the Republic, asked to be seen by his family and Espresso goes to Parfedia, where a few students have applied to his class to his surprise. When they see each other again is at Parfedia (Madeleine sending a message to Espresso beforehand about his arrival) -there was this one drawing I did once of Maddie running to hug Espresso, something like that happens-. Madeleine gets very clingy for some reason, which they speak later and comes out as “Home doesn’t quite feel like home…” “Why is that?” “I don’t know… maybe I’ve become used to be around you”

--Espresso lets ends up letting Madeleine stay with him until he either feels like returning to the Republic or is called back, whatever happens first (though none will happen for maybe a year or a little more).

--Ends with Madeleine meeting Latte and Almond.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Don't get excited or anything Janis: only talking to you to look busy Jimmy: steal my job an' all or just my lines? Jimmy: so proud me Janis: technically I got you fired from that one Janis: and not to get ahead in the java game myself so Jimmy: fucked my future as a recruiter that Jimmy: tah very much Janis: 💔 Janis: what can I say? Janis: your chat has left a lot to be desired from the start Janis: though I'd happily pick up a CG shift now, nothing to do with your skillz or lack thereof Jimmy: You could've started this one with 'oi Jim don't put persuasive on the CV' and have done, mate but here we still are pissing about Jimmy: ����🎻 Jimmy: use your head and pick up a shift where Pete works now not where he burned his bridges if you want the good chat, girl Janis: Yeah 'cos you want me interrupting your bromance time more than I already do Janis: reverse psychology won't work on me either, boy Jimmy: Tell it to the lad who's rewriting a birthday classic in your honor 'cause that ain't me, babe Jimmy: Still got it bad after all this time he has 💘 Jimmy: #thejulieteffect Janis: God, Gracie didn't slip him an invite as a tip, did she Janis: will have to maim my face to avoid any further association with her, like Jimmy: Might've Jimmy: Much as we throw Shona on that Gracie sized bullet she's nowt but persistent Janis: Desperate is the word Janis: invite half the town, why not Janis: no girl needs that many 'idk you really so I got you a bath set' gifts Jimmy: Alright, alright I'll take yours back to the shop Jimmy: Calm down Janis: bung it her way Janis: still might get some 'gratitude' 🤞 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: cool so it's a plan Janis: you distract, I'll make myself scarce Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: it's not known to be challenging Janis: but we have just discussed your shortcomings too so yeah Janis: maybe baby Jimmy: having her about when I ain't being paid is proper challenging Jimmy: you wanna sweeten the deal, rich girl Janis: Hmm, what you got in mind? Jimmy: we both make ourselves scarce Jimmy: I reckon that's a better plan Janis: maybe ain't earned persuasive still but Janis: you can tick off problem solver Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: ain't gonna be a problem if have the dickheads in town have an invite to your gaff Jimmy: slip away easy through that #opendoor Jimmy: half* Janis: you forget I'm 1 outta 2 guests of honour Janis: sadly, you are the only one on that score Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: nobody but Pete's coming for you, babe and we can slip him a note ahead of time Janis: You really know how to make a girl feel special, huh 😏 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: is it worth me coming to you Janis: how long you got left on Jimmy: both feeling special now Jimmy: how #goals Janis: well you know Janis: hit up the CG already and the replacements aren't much Jimmy: 💔 for 'em and you Janis: don't look too 😢 for me when I show Janis: not #goals Jimmy: Drying my eyes on my apron as we speak, like Janis: need your 😎 Jimmy: that's alright til the fans wanna see my 😍 Janis: who are you kidding, Doris can't see in front of her face Janis: it's the accent Jimmy: she can see my 🍆 Jimmy: keeps her coming back Janis: please don't make me laugh Jimmy: sexual harassment is no laughing matter, dickhead Jimmy: she's a menace 👵🚫 Janis: you know you're asking for it, babe Janis: made your granny love no secret Jimmy: when I'm not 😢 over you I'm 🤤 over her Jimmy: busted Janis: can't fool me Janis: know what you're like far too well tbh Jimmy: see right through me you Jimmy: only gonna get more of a bighead the older you get, aren't you? Janis: don't plan on changing Janis: not that kind of birthday girl Jimmy: 👍 Janis: dunno why she's bothering Janis: 'less she can get Pete to fake marry her she ain't even competing Jimmy: shut up, he'd get a decent amount of song writing material outta that Jimmy: enough to consider it Jimmy: don't be giving ideas like that out for nowt Janis: so you're saying recruiters out for you but pimp/band manager is my calling Janis: cheers, keep it in mind Jimmy: can't be living off mummy and daddy forever, babe Jimmy: time's running out Janis: they're running out of kids who wanna be around them, more like Janis: you know they don't wanna be left just them and Gracie Jimmy: Give 'em the heads up and they'll have time to have a load more Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: 💸💸💸 Janis: if they do, not me Janis: and all the others Janis: splitting it 10 ways makes it less impressive Jimmy: actually 💔 Janis: I know Janis: babysitting is your primary gig Janis: soz, like Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: Poor, poor boy Janis: have to stick with your two Jimmy: You still ain't taken the 🐶 off me yet so it's 3 Janis: if you put 'dog dad' in your bio it's over Jimmy: saved that 💎 for the dating apps Janis: fairplay Janis: go over well with that crowd Jimmy: 🐶💕 Jimmy: gotta earn her keep somehow Janis: subtle Janis: what do you want, like Jimmy: other than 🐶💀 Janis: you love her, shut up Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: you love her Janis: I know what I've 👀 Janis: and I've got plenty of blackmail evidence for when this all goes tits Jimmy: I know how to fake it Jimmy: tah for all the practise Janis: mhmm, 'cos you did such a top job at that Jimmy: 🥇 me Janis: Sure thing babe Janis: best bae ever Janis: fake enough for you? Jimmy: might be if you didn't mean every word Janis: Idiot Jimmy: you love me Jimmy: and you're on your way here, deny it Janis: I can't deny I'm en-route Janis: but that's like 96% because I need to hide Janis: no funny business Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: only thirsty for a fruit juice Janis: I ain't a toddler Janis: and obviously, I ain't looking for you to serve me either 🤷 Jimmy: you ain't a coffee drinker and we don't serve booze, pisshead Janis: 1. I'm gonna subtly wait for Pete to be free 2. we'll think of something Jimmy: 1. enjoy helping him close 2. he won't be thinking of owt when he's this hungover so enjoy doing that yourself an' all Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: not entirely sure you barista boys are worth the hassle Jimmy: on you go then Jimmy: find a barman and solve all your problems Janis: no tah Janis: can't be going there Jimmy: 🎻💔🎻 Janis: it'd be like you cracking on with a miner Janis: assume your granddad was a miner Jimmy: be like me having a go on a 👻 Janis: can make that happen Janis: that kinda cool girlfriend, obvs Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: find out the equipment Janis: not talking 🍆🤖s Jimmy: so I'll meet you in the cemetery or what? Jimmy: #datenight Janis: Such an emo Janis: called it and you out from day one Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: You reckoned I wanted to suck Alex Turner's ballsack Jimmy: Indie and emo are different genres, mate Janis: It's all fringes and marding really, isn't it, mate Janis: point is, ghosts are everywhere Janis: have as much if not more luck in any house in this shithole of a town Jimmy: proper poetic you Jimmy: I smell a lyrical collab with your bf Janis: nah Janis: we both know muse is about as good as I got Jimmy: but there's no need to pass that along to Pete and have him 💔 Janis: Shut up Janis: he loves me just the way I am, and YOU'RE just jealous Jimmy: #duh Janis: if I wanted that kind of guilt-trip, I'd have stayed there Jimmy: The orchestra is raring to go here Jimmy: What more do you want? Janis: you Janis: dickhead Jimmy: I'm yours, dickhead Janis: Good Janis: I need you, like Jimmy: We don't need to be here, either of us Janis: I can't Janis: I can't be anywhere near that fucking party tomorrow Janis: it's not just because it's the usual bullshit family function either, like Janis: just Janis: nah Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: good thing I have a better idea Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: Nowt for you to do but come with me Janis: Alright Janis: obviously Janis: never gonna have better plans or better company 'round here so Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: come here and we'll go from there Janis: I am Janis: I'd almost forgot how long this bus took Janis: been that long, like Jimmy: you should be live tweeting Jimmy: fans love a throwback Janis: well, we both know what I should really be doing Janis: but ain't really feeling it and this bus driver is new Jimmy: 🤞 our top bloke ain't 💀💀💀 Jimmy: weren't meant to be part of the pact, like Janis: if he was on the outs, I'd have 💀 him at the wheel ages ago Janis: just that good Janis: call me the eternal optimist Jimmy: 🌹 by any other name Janis: peak romance always Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: you ain't seen nowt yet birthday girl Janis: Idiot Jimmy: 💕 Janis: do I need to bring anything Janis: not fishing for clues or nowt but could be relevant Jimmy: bring whatever you would to fuck off for a day Jimmy: we ain't coming back til its over Janis: okay Janis: just us? Jimmy: you can bring the dog if you want Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I draw the line at Pete's puppy dog eyes though Janis: 💔 Jimmy: You'll live and he's half 💀 so there ain't no challenge in smacking him down Janis: Hot Jimmy: 😏 Janis: is that my surprise? Jimmy: Do you want that to be your surprise? Janis: Yeah, I'm gonna be an accessory by admission Janis: think on, babe Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Your man of mystery bit is very unhelpful sometimes Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: soz you can't handle being kept on your toes Janis: oh please Jimmy: What? Janis: I could run circles around you in my sleep Jimmy: go on then Janis: maybe Janis: if the plans allow time Jimmy: maybe I'll make time if it's that important to you to prove yourself, Juliet Janis: I know I don't need to prove myself to you Jimmy: 👌 Janis: fuck off Janis: you love me Jimmy: You're alright, for a rich girl Janis: I'm the best Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt babe Janis: #duh Jimmy: #youknowthedrill Janis: town is finally in sight Janis: jesus Jimmy: the new driver ain't winning me over 💔 for him Jimmy: sort it out knobhead Jimmy: 🎅 will get there before his bus, like Janis: N'awh Janis: you missed me? Jimmy: for a sec or two Jimmy: not owt to get a big head over Janis: have to work on that then, won't I Jimmy: hate for you to be bored while you're waiting for Pete to make you a drink Jimmy: gotta give you something to do Jimmy: it'll take him ages longer than two secs Janis: weird brag, mate Janis: usually the other way 'round but admire the honesty 😂 Jimmy: been a bit since I've made shit weird Jimmy: nice to know you've missed it Janis: you know Janis: keeps things interesting, you do Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: part of the deal, like Janis: I'll renew your contract Janis: 👌 job Jimmy: tah Jimmy: might take you off the trial period for a bit Jimmy: see how you go Janis: 😏 Janis: might not hand in my notice Jimmy: won't have to get a replacement in then Janis: 💔 Janis: know how you love that Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: keep disappointing me, you Janis: psh Jimmy: It's alright, well used to it, me Jimmy: nowt I can't handle Janis: We'll put that theory to the test when I get there Janis: 5 mins Jimmy: good Janis: thanks Janis: by the way Jimmy: you ain't opened your bath shit yet Jimmy: leave it out Janis: I've got to work on my so real surprise/grattitude some time, babe Janis: want me to fake it when I'm there Janis: alright Jimmy: that top job you reckoned I did faking it goes double for you, girl Jimmy: I ain't helping Pete close so you've got more time to piss about having a go Janis: Not how I remember it, boy Jimmy: scroll back through all your feeds Jimmy: I'll hang on Janis: admitting you're more #basic Janis: cute Jimmy: surprise! 🎉 Jimmy: happy birthday Janis: 😍😋 Jimmy: 💘 Janis: love you Jimmy: I love you Janis: I really do Jimmy: Is it my turn to act surprised or what? Janis: You can Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: ages after I thought we'd run out Janis: just that good, baby Jimmy: I'll give you a few minutes Jimmy: deffo worth that Janis: and so generous Janis: 😩 Jimmy: too northern for that shit Janis: Nah Janis: this place has changed you Janis: 🍀💀 Jimmy: If owt's changed take your share of the blame Jimmy: 💕🔪💀 Janis: alright Janis: I ruined your life Janis: do something about it