#like pushing myself onto the ride (being social) is hooorrible but i've learned that it's worth it in the end and i have fun
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hm. feeling annoying and embarrassing to be around today. dont like that.
#/vent#/personal#pls ignore if you're in a good mood i do Not want to be a bummer#dyou ever like... swing violently between extroverted and introverted??#idk i feel like that's the only way i can explain it#while i'm in an extroverted mood my anxiety makes it feel like i'm on a rollercoaster#like pushing myself onto the ride (being social) is hooorrible but i've learned that it's worth it in the end and i have fun#but then when i swing back to feeling more introverted it's like#suddenly the most dramatic fucking crash#and every interaction i've ever had makes me feel sick to think about#even the good ones somehow#and i'm embarrassed about the fact i exist#like i feel annoying and embarrassing 24/7 even on good days but on bad days it's like it's eating my body from the inside out#wish i had a normal brain hahaaaa#uggh. anyway. sorry for this but what use is a tumblr blog if you don't document your decent into insanity.
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