#like poor guy obviously had it rough growing up and was bullied and had his interests mocked and stuff but that

[thegrimreaperisanerd]

AHHHH!!! YOU DREW THE BABBY!!!!!!!! 😭 He's getting to enjoy a nice cheese and ham croissant 😭🥐😭 AS HE WELL DESERVES!!!!!

You nailed it man!!!!!! Nurture those neglected childhood needs Kim!!!!

some odd doodles for a fanfic ive really been enjoying (@thegrimreaperisanerd)

[specdracers]

LANDON BENNETT + THE MOMENTS THAT MADE YOU 

"thought i got through it, maybe i didn’t ; thought it was over, maybe it isn’t.”

          he’s five years old in southern alabama, and he’s at the first foster home he can remember. landon’s happy. the parents are kind; there’s another little boy here, and they become friends. it’s like he finally has that brother he’s always been wishing for. at this point, he’s too young and naive, not having seen the harsh reality of the world. he thinks he’s going to be able to stay, the parents seem nice enough. his belly is full and the clothes are new, and the foster parents make it seem like he’s going to stay there for the rest of his life. he grows used to it, growing far too attached to the family, and there’s even talk about him being adopted! ( but he’s too young to really understand what that means. ) but he finally learns that all good things must come to an end when the social worker comes to the door and his foster parents have already packed his bags. he can’t remember what they tell him, probably blocked it out. but as he gets into the van and his friend waves goodbye to landon from the door, he can’t help but wonder what he did wrong as he’s being brought into the next house.

          now he’s eight and in the third grade. he isn’t too cynical yet, but he’s known to be a loner amongst his classmates. he’s so, so young and he’s already learned that things are better if you keep people at a distance. he does pretty well in classes, getting by with what’s available at the home he’s at. the foster parents are okay, but he’s convinced they’re just doing it for the extra money because the mom just got laid off. the teachers look at him with sad eyes most of the time but he’s grown so used to it. the report card goes home with comments about applying himself and getting out of his shell to make friends. but he always ignores it ; why try to make friends when everyone inevitably leaves him?

          middle school is rough for everyone, but for landon, at the age of twelve, he hates it with his entire being. kids aren’t kind, and he’s already gotten into so many fights. they think it would be easy to pick on the kid from the crappy group home on the wrong side of the tracks, but little do they know that he sometimes has to fight over his food when he leaves to go home at night⎯⎯ he’s learned how to throw a pretty nice right hook by now. but this time, they’re not picking on him ( thankfully ). instead it’s another boy, one that he knows just moved into the group home, and they’re talking about his clothes, or his shoes, maybe his hair? landon can’t remember, but he just thinks of how many times he’s been in that position and within seconds he’s on top of the bully, seeing everyone who has ever hurt him until the gym coach has to pull him off. 

          it’s freshman year of high school, and he’s on the bus to the town’s high school, knees pulled into his chest. and even though he’s trying his best to not get his hopes up, fourteen year old landon finds himself praying to every higher power in the universe that high school won’t be nearly as bad as middle school, he doesn't know how much more he can take of it. the bus pulls up at a huge building with teens all around the front, and he already begin to hide, drowning out the chaos with his headphones blasting 90s rap. a small part of him wants to make friends, but it’s been so long he’s forgotten how. so instead, he walks around the crowded high school hallways, hood pulled up as he ignores pretty much anything and anyone. it’s like this for months, him going through the motions and his teachers are always shocked when landon actually turns in work. they know he has the capacity of doing it, he just lacks the motivation for well, anything. 

          sophomore year, and his classmates are beginning to get their licenses and cars as they turn sixteen and he’s jealous. he knows he won’t be getting one, he’s not stupid. that doesn’t prevent him from walking around with a chip on his shoulders. landon’s developed quite the temper over the course of his adolescence, and he doesn’t take shit from anyone. he’s the poster child of teenage angst, a tongue that’s wicked quick and fists sometimes just seeming to itch for a fight. people take note of this and for someone who has always wanting to be invisible, he gains a reputation around the school. his teachers mutter it’s a coping mechanism, the poor boy’s never known a family. and they’re right, but they could at least have the decency to not say it when landon’s within earshot. 

          it’s about halfway through his sophomore year and all the rich kids are talking about their holidays down to florida for christmas when he’s approached by a group of boys. he knows who they are; while landon has a reputation of getting into fights some days, that’s about the most trouble he causes. but this group? it’s a whole other animal compared to getting into fights because someone looked at you wrong. they’re the type to get into trouble with the law ; it’s just petty robbery most days, but when they come to him asking if he wants to join, they say they need a driver, he can’t say no. he’s gone his whole life without being wanted, so he takes the first chance he can when sometimes says differently. 

          junior year comes around, and the boy just turned seventeen. he’s still with the same group of friends, and landon’s become the stereotypical stoner. comes to class high, sits in the back, and his teachers are still amazed at how landon manages to scrape by in his classes. it’s almost time for him to start applying to colleges ( as if he’s ever planned to go ) and he laughs in the counselor’s face when she says that he’s no future ivy league student but she knows he would have a good chance of getting into auburn ; what type of backhanded compliment is that for a seventeen year old boy? he leaves the office, throwing away the brochure for auburn as he leaves. 

          this is the year where landon knows he’s on the wrong path, but he doesn’t care. his friends and him wreak havoc on their town at night in a way of graffiti and breaking shit in alleyways. but one day as they’re walking down the street, his friends attempt at a robbery of a small convenience store ( the old guy was far too scary for these amateurs. ) too bad they were too dumb and didn’t even attempt to cover their faces and the store’s camera catches their faces. and after school the next day, the cops pull up arresting all of them. it’s quite a scene, and landon makes sure to smile for his peers’ cameras as he’s getting pushed into the back of a cop car. hours go by, and landon’s told that he’s free to go, considering the fact they didn’t steal anything and they are all minors. when he gets home, the old foster parents he had been staying tell him they’ve had enough of his bullshit. that they’ve tried to get through to him but he’s a lost cause. landon takes this as them basically pushing him out of the house, and he knows that the next day he’ll be whisked away to another home until he’s phased out of the system. with a quick and heartless ‘ fuck you ’ to the couple, landon stomps out of the door and to the closest bus stop with only a backpack full of clothes. after, he’s made his way to new york with the small amount of cash that he had saved for a rainy day ; he’s learned through his years that he always needs an escape plan. but just because he has an escape plan doesn’t mean he has a damn clue about what to do after the fact. 

          eventually, he figures out a way to survive. not many places hire high school drop-outs so he gets a job waiting tables. it’s not a lot, but it’s something. he’s staying in a halfway house that he found, and while there are plenty of unsavory characters around, it’s nothing he hasn’t dealt with before. he saves up just enough to get a shitty apartment that’s more like a closet, but it’ll have to do for now.

          he’s twenty now, and he’s working probably close to three jobs a week just to make ends meet. landon is many things, but the one thing that his friends in new york can’t call him is lazy. his friends are a slightly older than the twenty year old, and he never really knows what type of jobs they do, but he knows whatever they do pays well. they have the nicest clothes and shoes, and he tries his best to not get jealous of them. one day, his friends ask him about his driving, and he laughs, saying they’re in new york and he grew up poor; why the hell would he need a car? but they explain to him that that wasn’t the question, and landon’s confused. he’s never told them about fucking around as a high schooler with his friends, doing donuts in the grassy fields of his hometown. when he tells them that he’s pretty decent, there’s a special kind of glint in his friend’s eye. 

          a year later, and twenty-one year old landon is in the middle of a crime-ring. did he mean to? absolutely not, but it beats having to wait tables with rude customers anyday. he’s moved out of the closet that his landlord had marketed as an apartment and moves in with his friends. and for once, landon is happy. he has friends that want to be around him ( granted they’re all criminals but at least they’re bonding! ) his clothes are nice, and he drives a decent car on a daily basis. for the time-being, he forgets what it’s like to constantly be worried about everything being taken away from you. and then it becomes too late. 

          it’s a STUPID easy job, the words of nolan ring through his head over and over again as his torso is flush against the hood of the cop car. it had happened so fast, all landon had to do was just drive and he obviously couldn’t do that very well considering him and his friends are all going to be thrown in jail because of his own stupidity. he can’t look at his friends, knowing that it is his fault that it happened. it’s almost like he blacks out before he finds himself handcuffed in front of a detective wanting to know more information about who he and his friends work for. and even though it’s his fault for getting everyone into this mess, he’s not a snitch. at all his questions, landon sits across, silent with a stupid smug grin across his features. his only demands have been a lawyer. did law and order lie to him? he’s always thought they couldn’t interrogate him until a lawyer was present. and soon, someone walks in and the detective leaves and he can only assume it’s a lawyer. 

          but it isn’t. it’s some instructor from a school called gallagher and all landon does is laugh. he doesn’t take it seriously for the first couple of moments, but the eerie stare of the instructor shuts him up enough. at first, he refuses. he argues, what about his friends? what about their freedom? surely, there’s room for them at the school too, right? but the solemn shake of the instructor’s head gives landon all the answers he needs. he decides to go with them, the charges dropped and he’s free, but he isn’t happy about bailing on his friends. 

          at gallagher, twenty-two year old landon is majoring in driver’s ed. it’s such a lame name in his eyes for such an exciting major, but he loves it here ( despite always acting like he’s too cool for it ). he’s known to be a little shit once again, but landon makes it fun. for once, landon feels like he has a home.

[jadienjaystoriesandart]

Thomas Sanders Highschool AU Idea

Title is a working progress, but me and my sisters best friend sat in the kitchen and came up with this idea. Context with characters, ages, and roles. Got this idea from reading @fangirltothefullest idea.

CHARACTERS

Virgil Arachna-Crofters: Senior who is forced to take theater due to their being nothing else, that he hasn’t already taken for that time slot. Techy nerd guy, and godson of single, young dad Logan Crofters. He is seventeen (17), and wants to go into Computer Science for college and has already applied for a few. Reclusive, Geeky, Socially Awkward Emo Kid.

Roman Prince: Senior who is the popular theater kid, very handsome and very dramatic. He’s the president of the Drama Department, and is in Track. He is the youngest son of ‘Mom Deceit’ Prince. And younger twin brother of Remus Prince. He is eighteen (18), and comes from a well off family, and enjoys public school over Private School. He wants to go into the drama arts and his ‘mom’ has gotten him some deals. Outgoing, Loud Mouth, Drama Bitch Kid.

Thomas Sanders: Virgil’s best friend, he is a Junior who is a band kid. He plays the flute. He is sixteen (16) and has been friends with Virgil since they were only six (6) as Logan is best friends with Thomas’s parents. He is looking for scholarships currently and looks to go into animation or advertisement. He does on the side of band the Career Technical Center near the highschool and takes classes there in Advertisement. Nerdy, Quiet, Kind Kid.

Patton Heart: Romans best friend who is a Senior as well, he is seventeen (17) and will be by the end of the semester be eighteen (18). Guys a sweetheart and helps Roman out with costumes and play writing, he is looking to be a Seamstress with a minor in writing. He is vice president of the Drama Department and makes most of their play sets and costumes with Remus. Happy go lucky, Extroverted, Obviously Bi-sexual Kid

Remus Prince: Romans older brother, by ten minuets and is a Senior as well. He is eighteen (18) and drive a rainbow colored sports car. Remus loves theater as well, but he’s more into the darker aspects, loves to play the villain and enjoys making set pieces and is learning to make costumes with the help of Patton, his second best friend. His first is a guy in college who is year older than him, but he isn’t very important to the story. Remus is looking to go into theater also, but more so want to be in Art and looks to be a designer for sets for movies and such. Creepy, Weird, Loud and Proud, Hella Gay Kid.

Micheal ‘Deceit’ Prince: Roman and Remus’s ‘mom’, single and young parent with a business of his own making selling mostly jewelry, but along with other accessories, but mainly the deal in rings, earrings, necklaces, things like that. But will sell hats, scares, shoes, and smaller things like that. Deceit is twenty-seven (27), and likes the nickname ‘Deceit’ due to most of his partners saying he ‘lies’ to them on deals. Which actually he never has done but once or twice, shockingly he is a honest business  man, (90% of the time) but he likes to mess with people. He and his wife divorced, when he was twenty-three (23) when it was found she was going hard drugs and cheating on him with another man. He adopted Roman and Remus at twenty (20), the two were eleven (11) at the time. He found his business going well, and his wife didn’t want to birth a child, so they adopted. He easily kept custody of them as he was well off and well influential to the kids. Smooth, Sly, Composed Man.

Logan Crofters: Science & Philosophy Professor as the University of Arts and Science in their area. This place is actually rather big and accepts only the best students in there art programs and their science programs, (Still working on a name for it though). He is a hardass professor to his students, but to his only son, Virgil, he is the sweetest man you’ll met. A devoted godfather and actually rather heartfelt to him, Logan tries to make his godson happy after the lose of his wife. Logan is only twenty-one (21) and is a very young professor/father, but don’t let that fool you. Guy is six foot two inches (6ft 2in) he is lanky but shockingly is very strong. He adopted Virgil when the other was sixteen (16), he was the boys Godfather, Logan was only nineteen (19), but already got a good job at a professor and was being paid rather well and his wife was doing well too. A year after that his wife died, he still kept Virgil, mainly because Virgil was happy with him. Smart, Sassy, Takes No Shit Man.

PLOT

Virgil has had it rough these past few years, having lost his mother to a car crash and taken in by his second godparent, as the first couldn’t take care of him. Logan Crofters. He took on Logan’s last name with a hypen of his own so that Logan could claim him on insurance. Life has been alright, Mr. Dad tries rather hard to make sure Virgil is coping well, even after three years, Logan knows the sting of losing someone can linger for a while. Things are looking up though, Virgil has applied to the University his dad works at to go into Computer Sciences there, and maybe look for a more specific filed of study. His godfather helped him make his portfolio and they hope he’ll get in.

Senior year comes, Virgil has a rather nice car, nothing fancy, but for used it was working well and in good condition. He signs up for classes only to find that there is no classes other than Theater/Drama open having taken all the other classes in that area, and the classes for core are all full, Virgil is forced/recommended by his adviser to take Drama. To say he’s having an anxiety attack inwardly would be in understatement. Virgil is PAINFULLY shy and dislikes being on stage. But, maybe he could convince the teacher to let him be the backstage techy guy?

First day of class, and Virgil is on edge, the class is somewhat full, only three seats are open in a class for twenty-six (26) students. Half are seniors, so about eleven (11) of them. There are five (5) juniors, four (4) sophomores, and three (3) freshmen. Most of the seniors Virgil doesn’t know that well, either because they were big bullies of his in the past or because they are WAY higher than his social standing. Being the reclusive emo kid who likes his black and enjoys not being the center of attention, he already feels out of place. And can actively hear people talking about him. Gods he hopes he can just disappear behind stage.

Then, enter in Roman Prince, popular kid, mostly because he does some sport, Track and Field, has won arts awards for the school. He is very handsome and to top it all off he’s rich. Girls and some guys swoon over this guy, who Virgil can’t even call a moron as he actually does well in school! However, the rumors about him also are dark, stating he’s rather emotionally controlling of anyone he dates. But, doesn’t stop some from trying. He has to spend his last year with this ego guy, just great.

Now, what Virgil doesn’t know is each year Roman chooses someone from the class to be is... left hand. As Patton is already his right, said ‘hand’ will do anything he asks in return he gives them lessons on being the best, often times it’s a Freshmen he likes. Rarely is it a Junior or Sophomore, once it was a senior in his Junior year. Roman sees it as he gets someone to help him and Patton with all the running they do, and helps mold a ‘new star’ out of someone. Which actually he has made some Freshmen open up more, even if later he dumps them for another next year. So win win.

And this year, he eyes up the out of place emo in the far back corner of the room. Was this guy even in here, did he show up to the wrong class. No, not many do that. So this kid clearly was in the right place. To Roman, the kid looked like he needed help, and clearly none of the others were going to do anything about it. So might as well being the ‘Prince’ he is and help the poor boy.

Thus, he offers to Virgil this, a contract he and his ‘Mom’ made. Virgil just has to do every little thing he says in the Drama Class and in return, Roman pays him twenty a week and offers him lessons on how to be a good actor. Virgil, too shocked for words and a little scared of what will happen if he doesn’t sign, signs the papers. 

This spirals into Roman slowly pulling Virgil out of his shell and making the kid be more sociable. While lowkey looking like to Virgil’s friends that he is controlling his life. Then shenanigans happen all year, which include:

- Patton having a crush of Virgil’s dad Logan and lowkey they start to grow feelings for each other. - Thomas and friends of Virgil trying to ‘save’ their friend from Roman, who they think is seeking to use Virgil and hurt him feelings later. - Roman actually developing real feelings for Virgil, something that has never happened to him. And starts to try hard to get Virgil to like him. - Virgil coming to terms fully with his moms death with people who know what it’s like. And lowkey starts to fall in love with Roman. - Remus being a dick/sweet older brother who really Ships Virgil/Roman.  - And general highschool shit.

SIDE CONTENT

- Logan and Deceit know each other, were going to have a partner ship until Logan left to marry his wife. Not great feelings there, Deceit is able to hold a grudge for a while. - Roman seems like a controlling person to Virgil to anyone out of his circle of friend. But Roman is actually a Bitch, he’s a bratty bottom and very much a submissive But he actually finds it funny how much more submissive Virgil is and finds it kind of fun to play dominate for once. - Virgil later though grows a spine and finds out just how submissive Roman is. lol - Virgil’s friends throw out some outlandish rumors about Roman and Virgil. Ranging from Roman has Virgil in a contract to be his slave, to Roman has brainwashed Virgil to be his wife and servant, to Roman is a vampire who is using Virgil as a Bloodbank. It gets rather funny after a while. - Remus is a conceiving Bastard who finds it hilarious that everyone thinks his brother is being emotionally controlling of Virgil and is being a abusive dominate. Like do these idiots even KNOW his brother - Remus also bets on how long it’ll take for Virgil to grow a spine and for Roman to cave, and bets on when Patton and Logan will get together. Remus knows ALL guys and sees EVERYTHING. - Thomas is the first to find out that Roman actually cares for Virgil and starts to help Remus plan to get them together half way through the year. - Legit there is a scene on Logan’s twenty-second (22) birthday where Patton comes over when Virgil is out shopping with Roman, and they come back to see the two kissing in the kitchen. All sorts of awkward man! NOTES

- To start the reason for young parents is explained at least, I try to get my story consistency and some realism.  - I wanted a Logicality pairing, however I wanted Logan to be ‘Teacher’ in this, so that’s why I man Logan and young dad and Virgil’s Godfather. So that way it wasn’t weird or not age correct. As I know having some thirty-year-old (30) man with a teenager is all sorts of weird for some people.  - Also I wanted some drama with Logan being unapproving of who Roman’s dad is and kind of dislikes that Virgil is friends with him due to this. But slowly comes to see that this Roman guy is making his godson happy. - Debating on a pairing with Remus and Thomas in this, comment if you want that. - I also wanted to name Deceit ‘Dominic’ but decided against it and instead when with Micheal, finding that it actually fits.  - I might add more to this later, but I don’t have much time to type out a full story so this was a better thing. - Hell, might even do Headcannons for this if you guys want me too. - If you guys WANT me to write this as a story then please comment or PM me.  - Also, if you guys want to write this yourself the PM me to let me know, and please don’t just steal my idea. I rather dislike people doing that. And dudes, it is illegal.  - Speaking of which I used SOME small ideas from the creator I mentioned above, not along. Just that Logan is a teacher with the last name Crofters, and Remus being in an outlandish car. Small things. But it gave me this inspiration so yeah...

That’s about all I got, though lowkey would LOVE to see fanart on this idea.

[maarmendes]

Chapter 1: Unknown Territory [I]

Warnings: Swearing, fighting, mental illness... (the main characters are pretty rough around the edges)

Genre: OC insertion; angst; fluff.

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x OC [Anahita Shuzenji]

Word Count: 3071

Tags: @bnhabookclub​

[Wattpad Link]

When I was younger, my mom used to tell me stories about heroes. Sure, nowadays there are many heroes with quirks who fight villains to protect the citizens! But the heroes she told me about were the ones in the shadows. The policemen who arrest the villains those heroes won't stop. The firemen who protect and save us from many accidents - they don't just put out fires. And the doctors, like her, who do everything to save lives on a daily basis. I used to love watching her tell me her stories, improvising uniforms with random items around the house. Now I know she was trying to make me understand why she worked as hard as she did. I never blamed her for that, my mom was more of a hero than any of those big-shots will ever be. When push came to shove, my mom gave her life to save others, and that's what makes someone a true hero.

After my mom's death, my grandma took me in. She ended up taking care of me, raising me to the best of her abilities, considering her job. She was what people called a true hero. They call her Recovery Girl. And, even though she was a hero herself, she hoped I'd follow my mother's path and become a doctor. But that's not what I wanted. There are so many said heroes out there who have no idea what it means to put your life on the line when it comes to saving others. That's who I want to be. A true hero who doesn't cower in the face of danger. All those so-called pro-heroes, always fighting for the spotlight... They don't know what's like to give up your life for someone else, as I've once witnessed.

That's what brought me to the U.A. This is where the top heroes trained to become the best of the best. My goal is to become a pro and show those wannabe heroes what it really means to save someone. But for now... I've got more pressing issues to deal with.

"Aizawa, are you sure about this?" I looked up at my teacher as he guided me to my new classroom.

"I've told you already. This is not a promotion, it's punishment. You'll be under my supervision until we make sure you can handle yourself." He stopped and scowled at me. "I obviously didn't request more work for myself. You were transferred so I can stop you if anything like that happens again." He gave me a pointed look.

That's right. The principal decided Aizawa would look after me until I can get myself under control. I did inherit my grandma's quirk as my mom did before me, but that's not the only thing I inherited. Although it's unusual, it's possible to inherit both parents' quirks and you could say I never got to learn much about it from my dad. Actually, before this, no one knew I had it in me. I'd never told anyone. Not even my Grandma. I hoped I could bury it away. I guess, if I had to be positive about this, I'm excited about having Eraser Head as my teacher. He's one of the only heroes I truly respect. He also taught me a lot since when I was younger, he'd often get stuck babysitting me when grandma had to tend to other students. Being trained by him is an honor.

"Even so, having a healer in this class is pretty convenient." Somehow I was glad he thought that way. Aizawa moved to open the door when a loud bang echoed the halls, making me jump back against the window. I could've sworn I heard the teacher curse under his breath.

"Bakugo! What the hell are you doing?" He was already calling out before we got into the room.

Inside, at the back of the room, stood a blond guy with his fist against the wall, where it left a big dent, and a small boy on the floor, glued in fear against the wall. The bully looked over his shoulder, the look in his face making me gulp.

"Alright, back off Bakugo. I warned you about fighting." The sandy-haired guy cliqued is tongue and he backed away from the scared boy. Some classmates moved to help the boy back on his feet. Nobody seemed to notice me behind Mr.Aizawa until he called out.

"Ana, get the idiot fixed up." He nodded towards the bully.

I felt everyone turn to me but still did my best to ignore them, making my way towards the back of the room, where he stood glaring daggers at me.

"What?!" He growled at me.

Putting his ill manners aside, he seemed fine for someone who was just in a fight. Then again, he did punch a hole in a concrete wall. There's no way he didn't hurt himself.

"Show me your hand." Locking my gaze on his, I held my hand out for him and urged him to hurry up. "Pretty please?" He seemed confused, but after sparing a glance at what I assume was a very impatient Aizawa, he obliged.

I knew everyone was staring at us, I would too if I were them. I know how embarrassing my quirk can be to use, but I admit it makes for quite the show sometimes. Some people get way too embarrassed about getting a kiss when they're injured, but there's no escaping it. Taking a deep breath, I held his hand up gently as I placed a soft kiss on it. They were unexpectedly soft and I could feel the smell of caramel for some reason. I had to give it a few seconds before pulling away and looking back up at him.

"Caramel... Huh." I chuckled at the baffled expression on his face. "Feeling better?"

A few snickers from behind me made me realize I said the caramel part out loud.

"What the fuck?!" Harshly pulling his hand away to cover his red face, the boy turns to his giggling friends, yelling something about blowing them out the window.

"It's my quirk." I scoffed. "Unfortunately, I can't fix ill manners."

"What did you say to me, pipsqueak?!" He turned back to me and I glared right back. I wasn't going to give him any answer, he didn't deserve it. Turning towards the other boy - who's now staring at me as if I was the most fascinating thing in the world - and smiled politely at him. "Are you okay?"

"I- I'm fine! Thanks! No healing need!" He let out an awkward laugh, ruffling his already messy hair. "Say... Are you... Are you Recovery Girl's Granddaughter? I- I'm sorry! I just heard about it the other day, and- And-!"

I gave a shy nod in response, already knowing what the class' reaction would be. And so it was. Multiple excited gasps and loads of questions filled the room but were soon silenced by the teacher.

"Alright, enough! Just get to your seats and shut up." Everyone respected Aizawa. "That's right. She's Recovery Girl's granddaughter and she's part of this class from now on so play nice. And no, having a healer in the class doesn't mean you can hurt yourselves. She's in my care from now on and will report to me if any of you does anything stupid."

Nice. Marked as the teacher's pet on day one.

"And speaking of doing something stupid..." For some reason, everyone trembled. "Bakugo, you're coming with me."

"WHAT?! Just me?!" The bully glared at the poor boy once more and I instinctively moved between them.

"Now." The temperature of the room dropped somehow. It made me question exactly how powerful Eraser Head actually is. "I warned I'd expel you if you started another fight so consider yourself lucky if I didn't send you home yet."

The blondie followed us out of the room without another complaint. He spared a few glances my way as Aizawa guided us back to his office and closed the door.

"Alright... Let's get this over with." Aizawa focused mostly on the bully as he explained. "In case you haven't noticed, Ana will be joining our class from now on. Thanks to... certain circumstances..." He spared a look my way making me cower against the chair. "She has to be kept under surveillance. I obviously can't stand there all day making sure anything happens... That's where you come in."

"Babysitting?!" Blondie scoffed crossing his arms. "No, thank you." Aizawa glared back at him.

"It's not a request, Bakugo. You're the only one in class who had past experience with a villain." With a deep breath he softened his tone. "I trust you to keep her safe... Please."

I couldn't stop the guilt squeezing my insides at his tone. He wasn't the most gentle of beings, but he tried his best for me. Somehow I felt like I'd betrayed his trust. And for the first time since it happened, I was sure I did so.

"Hum." The jerk beside me stared at me for a while, as if weighing his choices. "A healer who can't protect themselves in the Hero Department. Are you sure you don't wanna call it quits now, pipsqueak?"

His stupid smirk hit a nerve. Aizawa knew what was coming, yet he didn't stop me. Faster than he could realize, I was on my feet, my hand squeezing his cheeks hard.

"Listen up, dipshit." I leaned closer, my glare piercing his surprised eyes, but Aizawa cut me off before I could continue.

"You're not protecting her." The teacher ran a hand through his face tiredly. "You're making sure she doesn't get herself into something stupid." He gave me a look to back down, which I unwillingly did. "She can handle herself but has a tendency to get into really stupid situations way too easily... Most of them have villains involved." With one last sigh, Aizawa turned back to the bully with a serious look on his face. "All you have to do is keep her in your sight and make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. When she's not with you, she'll be with me. That's all I ask."

The, now serious, blondie spared me one last look before nodding at our teacher. "Fine."

I knew I had no say in the matter. After Aizawa found me in some back ally a few nights ago, barely conscious, he had made it clear I lost my right to an opinion. The look on his face when he first saw me on the ground would forever be scared on my mind. The man who watched me grow the past few years has never looked so broken. So, I let them set the rules between themselves. Aizawa would give me a ride to school, where Bakugo would take over in keeping an eye on me for the day. Once classes are over, he has to make sure I have someone with me before leaving. I stopped listening midway, there was nothing I haven't heard before, but I swear I heard Aizawa say something about expelling him or worse if anything happened. Soon the teacher told us to go back before the first class began and so we did. We walked silently until Bakugo broke the silence, properly talking to me for the first time.

"What the hell did you do? It's like you're a criminal or something." He mocked but spared me a look as if making sure it wasn't somehow true.

I debated telling him the truth. He was dragged into my problems, maybe I should share a few details. "I blew up a building." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the truth either. For a moment, he stopped and stared at me. Then, he blew up laughing. I chuckled at how stupid his laughter sounded.

"It's kinda true, though," I admitted softly, feeling bad for not being honest with someone who's helping me. "I went out at night... A villain tried to take me and I panicked. That's when I figured out I had more than my dad's looks." I stopped abruptly. "This is a secret. Only a few people know about it. I thought you should know too." The boy nodded. The look in his eyes told me he understood what I was saying, and he was grateful too.

"So," We resumed our walk. "Wanna tell me why you were bullying that kid?" It was his turn to stop.

"I wasn't bullying him! He deserved it! HE LIED TO ME!" He glared at me and I took a step back, hands up.

"Alright, dude. It's none of my business, I get it." Walking past him, I get into the classroom. All I got was a click of the tongue.

I knew I had a storm waiting for me once I got back. That's exactly what greeted me once I got into the room. From questions about my family, my quirk, and myself to questions about my transfer and about Aizawa's behavior towards me. I didn't know what to say to any of them, so I gave the most general answer I could.

"Guys!" I called out to quiet them out. "Thanks for the warm welcome, but... All these questions are a bit overwhelming. Let's get to know each other slowly, please!" I put up my best smile and they all cheered back at me.

Bakugo chooses that moment to walk in. The dirty look he seems to sport naturally back on his face. A red-haired guy walks over to him, concern plastered on his face.

"Bakubro! Did Aizawa...?" He trailed off, but they all knew what he meant. And everyone wanted to know, obviously. Bakugo scoffed at his friend.

"As if!" He glared around the room at everyone. "You dumbasses think they'd throw me out? They wish they could! But I'm the best! Hah!" The boy wallowed in his own victory against the system and I couldn't suppress my laughter any longer. "What you laughing at, pipsqueak?!"

"I-I'm sorry, b-but it sounded like they wish you'd leave but you won't." I mocked him, still laughing at him. Somehow he didn't threaten me, he actually pouted instead. "I'm sorry, ok?! It's just funny to imagine them trying to lock you out but you always find your way into class." That earned me a chuckle from him. Guess that image was just as funny to him. Feeling a few eyes on me, I looked back at the group who was with us. The red-hair was just as amused as we were, probably finding it just as entertaining, but, for some reason, the others just stared in awe.

"Yo, I didn't know Bakugo laughed." Yellow Hair said in the most astonished tone.

"And it wasn't even a creepy laugh!" The pink cutie chimed in, hanging onto my shoulder. The black-haired dude nodded in agreement. "You guys know each other or something? Deku didn't mention it."

Bakugo ignored them all with a scoff and made his way to what I assumed was his seat. I was still confused with the group and decided to get to at least know their names. We all shared a few words before the bell rang and the class began. Thankfully I found a place next to Mina, - The pink cutie - at least I wouldn't be alone.

Before long, all theoretical classes were over and lunchtime arrived. Some of the girls invited me to eat with them at the cafeteria. I guess it was their way of respecting my request of getting to know each other slowly. I was telling Mina some stories about my grandma when I get grabbed by the back of my shirt, my feet barely touching the ground.

"Where do you think you're going, pipsqueak?! Forgot I'm on babysitting duty already?" The grumpy idiot had a firm grasp on my shirt, barely allowing me to move. "We're eating out for lunch. Grab your bag."

"What?! You can't just grab me! This is assault! KIDNAPPING!" My complaints fell on empty ears as he dragged me back to class and dropped me at my seat.

"Shut up and listen up, picayune." He leaned forward, blocking me from getting up. I stood my ground, glaring back at him. "I'm not your babysitter. I'm not gonna run after you like an idiot, YOU'RE sticking to ME, get it?" He straightened back up, still staring at me. "So, you never leave my side. If you wanna go somewhere, you tell me first. If I can't find you within 3 minutes, I'm reporting back to Aizawa." I turn my gaze down, pouting but nodding in agreement. Mentioning Aizawa was a slick move. I could never oppose Aizawa.

He continued with a sigh. "Come on, it could be worse. At least you're stuck with a cool guy like me." He chuckled rubbing his neck. "And... Listen, I didn't mean to be rude or something. Now and... Before as well. In the hall. And you healed me, so... Lunch's on me if you're up for it..." He trailed off quietly and I had no idea how to respond. This rough-looking jackass who probably thinks he's the center of the universe... Apologized.

"Wait... You know what 'picayune' means?!" I burst out laughing, holding my stomach.

"WHAT?! You think I'm dumb or something? HAH?!" He slammed the table in front of me, probably trying to intimidate me, but right now nothing he could do would seem in the least intimidating.

A few threats and giggles later, we settle down. He seemed to still be waiting for some kind of response from me or at least for me to say anything. I couldn't help but smile at how cute he could actually be.

"Fine. I accept that lunch offer." I stood up offering him my hand. "Let's start fresh then. I'm Anahita Shuzenji. You can call me Ana."

For a second he stared between my hand and my face, then scoffed.

"As if, pipsqueak! Call me Bakugo, the great." He smirked at me, ignoring my hand and making his way out the room. "Now, move it! I'm starving."

"What? No hand-holding, Mr.Bakugo the great?" I teased, rushing after him. "Is it the caramel thing? I can handle it! I like sweets."

That won me a glare and a threat, which I soon learned were just empty threats of a dumb idiot.

[NEXT CHAPTER]

[sillyxkittyy]

Unruly Heart

This is a birthday gift for the sweet and amazing @you-get-to-exhale-now-cyrus! In honour of your 18th birthday, i wrote you this tyrus one-shot based on the song “Unruly Heart” from the musical “the Prom” (I know you like that musical :D). It’s uhhhhh very long, but I hope you like it! :) ……………………………………………………………

Some hearts can conform

Fit in the norm

Flaunting their love for all to see

I tried to change

Thinking how easy life could be

TJ had never been like anyone else. For the longest time, he had been known as the the mean bully, the tough scary basketball guy by all her peers. For the longest time, he had acted like one- he believed that if you can’t beat them, join them, right? It was so much easier to be the typical bully than to be nice, he had quickly realized. But was being mean really worth it, in the end? He had soon noticed how scared people were of him, how hard it was to approach them even, and part of him hated that. But he had continued for a while, because he didn’t think he knew how to be nice. He had slowly started to change, and he was doing progress, he tried dropping the attitude, and be kinder, more patient with others- maybe even more open. 

I just kept on failing

I guess that was a sign

That there wasn't much hope

For this unruly heart of mine

It wasn’t easy at it looked, though, and he kept rebounding. He kept going back to his old habits, hurting the people he loved. He saw himself snapping at them, saying things he didn’t even mean... becoming someone he didn’t recognize. It was as if being mean had kind of built a shell around him to protect him, and that being nice had cracked that shell, exposing him, exposing his feelings for everyone to see. He didn’t want to act like this, but he felt like the way he wanted to be was harder to achieve than initially thought. He had almost given up; after all, he had trouble making friends anyways, so why would he try? Was there anyone worth the change? Would anyone care if he changed for the best? 

Then you came along

And right or wrong

Feelings began to overflow

We had to hide

Thinking that no one else could know.

Then, he met Cyrus, and his whole life turned upside down. He used to only be Buffy’ quirky and weird friend, but TJ found himself quickly growing fond of him. He remembered how Cyrus started approaching him, and not even in a mean way, and how it took him by surprise. The other boy had this way with him that TJ couldn’t explain- a soft approach that always drew him to him. He was nice to him, he never judged him, he was understanding, he helped him- even when he was giving Buffy troubles. He almost felt safe around him, he felt like he could trust Cyrus with anything. Opening up to him was a slow process, but when he had, it suddenly felt natural. He soon realized that they could maybe become friends, and it had filled him with such joy that Cyrus wanted to be friends with him. Even after a few rough patches, they were able to become close, which TJ really appreciated. However that friendship turned into attachement on TJ’s side... and it frightened him. He wasn’t used to being attached to people, to crave so much for someone love and attention like that. And when he caught herself grinning from ear to ear while reading their texts messages, or feeling butterflies whenever they held hands... he realized that his feelings were stronger than he initially thought. Suddenly, he was scared and confused- about his feelings, about his own identity, about everything. Falling in love had always scared the hell out of him, he didn’t know how to handle it, he didn’t know what to do with it. God, it filled his mind with so many thoughts, thoughts that he usually rather avoid. He started questioning himself, and his sexuality. What was he now? He had to face his feelings, and he hated doing that. He entered in a stage of pure and utter denial. But the more time passed, the harder it got to deny it... he was afraid of judgment, afraid of what people would think- his parents especially. Most of all, he was afraid that Cyrus would never like him back, because it was him. He continued to hang out with Cyrus, but he was distant. Distracted. And the other boy obviously noticed, but he hadn’t commented about it, at first. It was one of the things he liked the most about him, he was always considerate and never pushed the subject if someone didn’t want to. Cyrus did also question him vaguely a bit, asking him if he was okay a few times, but TJ always avoided the subject. He had obviously tried to hide his feelings, to make them go away, to forget... but he couldn’t. It was harder than he expected it to be. At some point, it almost got unbearable, and he wanted to confess to him. He got to a point where he barely cared if Cyrus didn’t like him back, he had to tell him, to get this off his chest. He had practiced in front of the mirror, fumbling with his fingers as he mumbled to himself in front of the bathroom sink. Each time he had tried to tell Cyrus though, his words blocked, and there was always a lump in his throat. His stomach was always all over the place, so he ended up chickening out. He even asked Amber for help, his sister who was successfully going out with Andi. Her advice did help, but he couldn’t help but feel this insecurity each time he tried... then, one day, Amber got confronted by his parents about her relationship with Andi. She had managed to keep it a secret for weeks, but the truth ended up getting out, and the fight that had ensured had shaken the house. TJ was even more afraid, after that, and the looks his parents then give his sister had filled him with such terror. If he started dating Cyrus, would they judge him? Would they look at him like that? How would they react if they learned that he liked guys- not even just that, that he was gay? He didn’t know for sure if they would judge him, but just the possibility made him anxious. After that, it got even harder for him to confess, until he decided to not do it at all. His feelings only grew, but he tried to hide it, to conceal them. It burned him on the outside, but he couldn’t do otherwise. He suddenly became even more distant, almost ignoring Cyrus. He didn’t want him out of his life, but being around him made him feel so fuzzy on the inside, and it filled him with such pain. Staying away made it less unbearable, because it was easier to ignore his feelings that way. However, things changed when Cyrus confronted him about it. It wasn’t done angrily- he just asked him in utter confusion if he had done nothing wrong. TJ assured him that he didn’t, but he wasn’t able to tell him exactly why he was distant.

And not having you near me

Was where I drew the line

So I had to conceal

This poor unruly heart of mine

They didn’t fight per say, but he mentally called it one, because the result was the same: they didn’t talk and he felt absolutely empty. They started drifting apart, and even if it was bearable at first, it suddenly became extremely painful for TJ. Not talking to him at all made him realize how often they hung out- and how much he meant to him. Several times, he had tried texting him again to apologize, but he had chickened out in fear. What if he wanted nothing to do with him anymore? What if it was all over? Cyrus probably thought TJ wanted nothing to do with him, which was so far from the truth. These thoughts haunted him for days. Whenever he saw him in the distance in the halls, or the back of his head in class, or just his face when he played basketball... his feelings came rushing back like a slap on the face. He realized that getting over that boy was going to be an almost impossible task, no matter how hard he tried. His presence filled him with such joy, and his absence made him feel like there was a piece of him missing. He felt like he had never deserved Cyrus’ friendship... the small boy was way too good for him. TJ always ruined everything, either way, it was bound to happen one day. He tried to hide his desperation, his sadness, his anger at himself, but god, it became hard, he felt like it was going to spill any second, that everyone would know how he felt inside... but he couldn’t let them know. He didn’t need everyone on his back.   

And though I don't know how or when

But somehow I learned to see

No matter what the world might say

This heart is the best part of me. 

TJ was walking in the streets one day, his hands in his pockets, his hood on his head, and his head down. He was heading home, but his mind was wandering around. He hadn’t even noticed that he wasn’t walking on the right direction until he turned the corner and was confused by his surroundings. He looked around, trying to place where he was, and it didn’t take long to recognize the big houses and the neighbourhood; he felt his heart leap in his chest. Unconsciously, he had been walking towards Cyrus’ house instead of his own. He had gone to his house so many times in the last couple weeks, months even, that it was almost a reflex. He mumbled to himself, kicking a rock and shaking his head. Was he at a point where he’d go to his friend’s house first? ‘Friend’- somehow, those words didn’t seem right to describe Cyrus. He was about to turn away when he spotted a figure in the distance. Squinting to try and see it better, he immediately recognized Cyrus. Of course, it had to be him. Of all the people in this busy neighbourhood, it had to be him. Cyrus hadn’t seen him yet, and TJ was almost able to leave without being seen, but as he started to walk away, he heard his name being called. 

“TJ?” Hearing his voice, in such a soft tone too, was enough to make his heart flutter. He froze, and turned his head a bit, seeing Cyrus looking at him. He turned around completely and they both just stood there, staring. He wanted to say something, but his words were blocked. 

“Hey” that’s all he was able to mutter as he gulped a bit. Cyrus took a few steps forward. 

“Hey” he smiled weakly. “Long time no see, huh?” His voice was calm and quiet, yet TJ felt like there was more that met the eye. He simply continued staring. 

“Yeah...” his heart was beating so fast, and he was glad that his hands were in this pockets, as they were so sweaty. “Listen, Cyrus, about that...” he trailed off a bit, swallowing hard. “I-I wanted to apologize... for uh- for...” he started but Cyrus put a hand up, shaking his head. 

“Hey, it’s okay... I get it.“ he gave him a small smile. TJ thought that seemed off and he titled his head in confusion.

“You... you do?” He didn’t think Cyrus knew why he did what he did. Did he actually know? Or did he just assume? He suddenly dreaded to find out the answer. The other boy nodded.

“I mean yeah... I’m...” he pauses, looking at TJ. “I knew it would... happen one day, you know? Like... I get that I’m annoying, or whatever. I’ve been told that several times in the past, I get it” he shook his head. “You don’t have to add more, I know” hearing Cyrus say those words had made his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. Had he been feeling this way this whole time? Now he felt even worse than he did. He shook his head vigorously. 

“Cyrus, that’s not true, stop”

“No, it is, don’t wor-“ 

“It isn’t!” TJ exclaimed, staring at him intensely, yet softly. “Cyrus, you’re perfect just the way you are, okay?” There was a silence after he said that, a moment when the look in Cyrus’ eyes soften, and he looked at TJ, almost confused. 

“You... you really think so? You don’t think I’m like... weird, or quirky, or annoying?” He knew it was a common thing for Cyrus to think he wasn’t good enough, or to put himself down, and it always hurt TJ every time. He took a step forward. 

“You are weird, Cyrus, but... you know what I like about you? You don’t care about that. You’re proud of who you are- you embrace your weirdness- and that’s admirable.” if there was one thing that Cyrus almost never seemed insecure about, it was his quirkiness. What other people might find dorky about him, TJ found it endearing. He loved seeing him ramble about dinosaurs, or put on a play with his baby taters. The look of pure happiness in his eyes, that little sparkle, made him absolutely weak. “Even I can’t do that” he admitted silently. Cyrus stared at him, he almost looked incredulous. He didn’t say anything for a while, he just stared, seeming dumbfounded. The two boys just looked at each other, both their hearts pounding in their chest. A slight breeze could be felt, and Cyrus brought his hoodie closer to him. It was only then that TJ noticed that it was his hoodie that he was wearing. Cyrus Goodman was hearing his hoodie. He could feel a swarm of butterflies in his stomach. Was he wearing it because he forgot it wasn’t his? Was it simply because it was comfy? Or was it because it reminded him of him? So many questions filled his mind, but he didn’t have time to ponder on it more, because Cyrus spoke again. 

“You... you really think that?” His voice lowered.

“I do, Cyrus, I really do” he gave him a look that told him that he really meant it. Cyrus bit his lip. 

“Oh... I... I thought you hated me or something” those words echoed in his head over and over again. ‘I thought you hated me’ god, how could he even hate Cyrus, that was impossible for him. The fact that he thought so stung. He felt a rush of emotions through him. 

“Cyrus, I don’t hate you, I could never hate you, I...”

So fear's all in the past

Fading so fast

I won't stay hidden any more

I'm who I am

And I think that's worth fighting for

TJ paused, thinking of what he was about to say next. Was it worth keeping a secret anymore? He felt like it was choking him, like the burden was unbearable. He had almost lost Cyrus while trying to conceal it, the boy deserved to know the truth. He shouldn’t be ashamed of his feelings, of who he was. Would he stop himself from living, from being happy, because of others? It had never stopped him before, why should it, now? To hell all the judgement, all the fear, he had to be proud. Cyrus was amazing, heck, the best thing that ever happened to him, and he wouldn’t lose him- not again. If people weren’t happy with him, his decisions, his life, then it was their problem. Spending so many years as a bully taught TJ that people would judge no matter what, either way.

And nobody out there

Ever gets to define

The life I'm meant to lead

With this unruly heart of mine.

He finally stepped closer to Cyrus and took his hands, looking him directly in the eyes. His heart was pounding in his chest, but he didn’t care. 

“Listen, I don’t hate you, okay? God, I can’t hate you because... I’m in love with you, alright? I...” he’s almost out of breath but he continued before he chickens out again. “Dammit, you mean so much to me, like so so much, and I know I suck at showing it, but... it’s true. And yeah, I did maybe ignore you for a while, but it’s not because I hate you... I was just confused, scared. I didn’t know how to tell you...” he gulped.

And though I don't know how or when

But somehow I learned to see

No matter what the world might say

This heart is the best part of me

“But... it doesn’t matter anymore. I wanted you to know- you need to know. And even though you might not like me back. I’d rather have you as a friend that not at all. I can’t stand it when we don’t talk, okay, and I just... please forgive me” TJ finally stops talking, almost out of breath, and he looks down. At least he was able to get it out before he changed his mind. At least now Cyrus would know that he did not hate him at all, he knew how he truly felt now. He was still holding the other boy’s hand, though, and it made him smile the weakest smile. How he wished he could hold them properly, as a boyfriend, but he would maybe never get this chance. It didn’t matter though; if he could still spend his Friday nights with him watching documentaries while sitting so close to each other on the couch, or if he could still watch him laugh, and his eyes crinkling when he did, then he was content either way.

So fear's all in the past

Fading so fast

I won't stay hidden any more

I'm who I am

And I think that's worth fighting for 

After what almost seemed forever, Cyrus finally spoke up. “TJ...” he paused, nuzzling his head in his hoodie. He was looking at him straight in the eyes. “... you... you mean that?” He seemed to know deep down, but he also seemed to want a confirmation. Against every voice in his head screaming at him not to do it, he used his hand to lift Cyrus’ chin, giving him a soft smile. 

“Of course I mean it. Why would I joke about that?” A small chuckle came out of Cyrus’ mouth. 

“Well, when you put it like that...” he didn’t seem stressed or uncertain anymore, he was smiling at him. “You want to know something?”

“What?”

“I like you too” those words made TJ’s heart skip a beat. ‘I like you too’ how he thought he’d never hear those words, ever. The smile on his face only widened. He wanted to say something, meaningful perhaps, maybe even cheesy, but instead, he only raised his eyebrow playfully. 

“Hmmmm, is that why you’re wearing my hoodie?” He teased, making Cyrus flush. 

“Maybe” his answer only made TJ laugh. In that moment, he felt a rush of happiness he didn’t think he’d ever feel. 

“You’re adorable, you know that?” He said softly, to which Cyrus simply replied with a shrug. It made TJ smile; maybe things weren’t meant to be all bad. Maybe he could do something right and be happy. Feeling a rush of happiness inside of him, TJ finally leaned in and kissed him.

And nobody out there

Ever gets to define

The life I'm meant to lead

With this unruly heart of mine

Mine

Mine

[chungha-supremacist]

No borders - Chapter 1

word count: 2565

SUMMARY:

“It’s just us 5 right?”

“Forever.”

“No men allowed… ever. Let’s promise to eachother that we will never let any man come in between us!”

“Never!”

Naive promises told at a young age, just between 5 best friends. They promised their world to eachother, “best friends ‘till death breaks us apart”. 10 Years passed. The same 5 girls, but no longer blinded by those “stupid promises”. It will be broken. The promise of a lifetime. The lust of love is what makes us all see unclear. We lose our friends, or soulmates, we fall for the unknown, we fall for lies and for the feeling of being important to someone who will drag us far away from who truly matters.

“Forget about the world… forget about them… right now, it’s only me and you. They don’t need to know that I love you.”

CATEGORY: F/F; F/M

Fandom: RED VELVET (Band), NCT (Band)

Relationships: Park Sooyoung / Kim Yerim; Bae Joohyun / Kang Seulgi; Son Seungwan / Nakamoto Yuta

Characters: Park Sooyoung; Kim Yerim, Bae Joohyun, Kang Seulgi, Son Seungwan, Seo Youngho, Jung Jaehyun, Nakamoto Yuta, Dong Si Cheng, Wong Yuk Hei, Lee Taeyong, Chung Ha

Additional Tags: friendship,angst, mistrust, lies, cheating, lesbian interactions, smut, fluff, fashion, models, rich life, etc

RATED: SMUT, FLUFF, ANGST.

CHAPTER 1 

“Buckle up, LESBIANS! We’re going shopping!”

“What… the… fuck.” Says Seulgi half-asleep, looking like a mess, standing on the edge of the bed.

“Are you deaf! I need a new dress, girl, and GUESS WHAT, you and Joohyun are the only ones home!” says Yeri while waving the keychain on her index finger. Yeri has always been like this. The soul, the spirit, the jokester of the “group”. They all “hated” her extravaganza, but what could they do? After all, without Yeri, they would’ve been a mess of boring, lazy and soulless singles. She is the one that takes them to all the parties, or more to say, ‘drags them’. They met all their friends through Yeri, including most of their male friends. After all “a male is a girl’s best friend”, to quote Yeri.

“Did I just hear-“ Joohyun makes a pause while scratching her messy-morning hair, standing in the doorway. “Yerim… What a pleasant surprise…” says Joohyun through gripped teeth.

Joohyun , or ‘Irene’ as her nickname is, has never been like this. When younger, Irene was very eccentric and party-animal. She was just like Yeri. Now, years have put their pattern on her… Tired, exhausted of life… It’s true, she’s only 27 years old, she’s still a “young flower”, but her big, dark eye circles say otherwise. She doesn’t live with Seulgi, but last night it happened that these two went out drinking and Irene was too drunk for Seulgi to just let her walk to her own home like that. So she took care of her dear “best-friend” and took her to sleep in her immense penthouse.

Secret to how Yeri got into the house? Easy. All 5 of them got a spare key to eachother’s houses/apartments. And Yeri makes use of them the most.

“So…” says Yeri while serving herself with a glass of orange juice from Seulgi’s fridge. “Had a sleepover without US?” putting the accent on “us”.

“Yerim… don’t be like this.” Says Seulgi while scratching the back of her neck. “Irene just wanted to go out drinking after she got back from the photoshoot. She got drunk. I took her here so she won’t fall and break her head in her apartment or something and that was it. No sexy pajamas and cocky movies.”

“Hahaha. Knew it, y’all don’t know how to have fun without me.” Says Yeri confidently while sipping sassily on her juice.

“Bullshit.” Says Seulgi while rolling her eyes. “Anyway…what do you need a new dress for?” continues Seulgi while grabbing an apple and biting on it savurously.

“A date.”

Seulgi chokes.

“A what?”

“A date.”

“With who?”

“A handsome guy I met at my last convention. Damn you should’ve seen those magic brown eyes and-“

“Yerim!” Yeri gets starled by the small scream of Irene who was standing on top of the stairs, arms crossed. “What date… What guy…?”

“Irene.. Seulgi.. don’t worry girls… He’s nice, I promise! Y’all will be the first ones to meet him if our first date works well! PINKY PROMISE?”

“Ew… where are you? Kindergarten?” says Irene, rolling her eyes and judging the younger one.

“Grandma…” mocks Yeri while hitting the table with the glass.

“I support you…” whisper Seulgi supportively and gives Yeri a small hug.

“Thank you baby girl… You are the best! NOW COME ONE COWGIRLS! We got an uber to catch!”

Irene was wearing her signature style: always classy, in a fancy suit or a gucci dress, never wearing heels in her free time, only loafers. Seulgi on the other hand, has a different style: “boyfriend-material” as Seungwan calls her, always wearing ripped jeans, a plain t-shirt, a Gucci cap, and some sneakers. They’re both models and they encounter all types of styles and looks, but these are definitely their own pattern.

Yeri walks up in front of the two girls, proudly walking on her 10cm Louboutin heels and her short black summer dress paired with a leather jacket.

“What is she so excited for… psh.” Sighs Irene.

“Irene… let the girl be… she is 21 now. She can’t be single forever. You know Yeri, nothing will come between us and her. No guys, remember?” Reassures Seulgi while giving a small smile to Irene’s straight face.

“It’s whatever to me…” and roughly removes Seulgi’s hand from her shoulder which made Seulgi sigh at the attitude of her Unnie.

Sometimes, they all miss old Irene… More like Joohyun. Since “Adopting” this stage name, “Irene” she became cold towards her friends, stone-hearted and ignorant. This is what everyone at her work place thinks of her, but her friends know. They know the real Joohyun. They know she loves them more than her own life. They know Joohyun would risk it all for all of them. She is the Unnie and the one that keeps this “group” together.

--

“What do you think she’s doing….” Says the girl, impatient and walking all around the room.

“Sooyoung… can you calm down?” says Chung Ha while applying some more blush to her already rosy cheeks. “I am sure your little ‘best friend’ is probably at work or out with some friends. Why such panic when you should put on that mini-skirt.”

Chung Ha is Sooyoung’s colleague and the only “friend” she gets along with her at her work-place, the only friend she has besides her 5 best-friends. Chung Ha is definitely the most beautiful female Sooyoung has even seen and she could swear she caught herself staring at her beauty from time to time. It’s impossible not to get lost in her looks. She’s got everything you could want in a model. And this is what Chung Ha is, the face of the company where Sooyoung works. As for her, she is just an average model, with low self-confidence. When she looks at Chung Ha, she thinks “oh damn… maybe I should go to the gym more… maybe I need more make-up… maybe I need a bigger size at the bra-“. But she is just underestimating her because of her rough past.

Growing up, Sooyoung had only misfortune in her life. Being bullied since kindergarten for coming from a family with only one parent (her father), in high school suffering from all the fake rumors that she is coming from a poor family and at work… she once got a scandal at her ex-office about rumours that she “harassed” a female worker. All of these were false obviously, Sooyoung couldn’t dare to raise a finger to anyone. All she wanted in this world was to feel loved.

Sooyoung soon leaves a text-message to Yeri asking her to call back when she sees the message and then she goes out from the backstage and goes to rule the small catwalk she had to do in front of some small modelling agency managers. She nailed it, especially because before this, Chung Ha gave her some encouraging words. Chung Ha was her muse.

The curtains fall down and now its silence. There’s not a minute and Sooyoung hears the scream of her “boss”. He is not really her boss, he is just the chief of this department, he could aswell be a model, but he decided to inerhit this department from his father.

“Oh my. Congratulations Sooyoung, Chung Ha, my stars!”

“Oh my god Yuk Hei.” Says Chung Ha while doing a fake smile.

“What is it princess? Can’t take a compliment from your boss?” says Yuk Hei smirky.

“Let her be Yuk Hei…. And thank you, for the congratulations.”

“No need Joy” (Joy is how all the close ones call Sooyoung) “So… are you girls doing anything tonight?” says Yuk Hei while leaning slowly on the make-up stool and making a sign to the make-up artist to leave.

“You’re hitting on us again…” Chung Ha rolls her eyes in disgust.

“What? Who? Me? Naah. I got plenty of chicks in my hands to deal with, Chung Ha” says Yuk Hei playfully. “I was just asking because… you know…”

“You have no friends…” whispers Sooyoung with her head down.

“PARK SOOYOUNG”

“I’m sorry Yuk Hei… but isn’t this the truth. If so… Then maybe I’ll go out with you” says Sooyoung while packing her stage clothes into a workout bag.

“Ugh… I DO HAVE FRIENDS, ok? It’s just… They’re all having a night shift tonight and I just wanna celebrate with my models… What’s wrong about it?”

“Nothing, Yuk Hei… I will go with you. Chung Ha?”

Chung Ha seems to not knowledge the two of them and mumbles “I got better plans for tonight.” She takes her designer bag and leaves.

“Psh… I should fire her for this behavior…” says Yuk Hei while getting up from the seat. “What about we leave after you get changed? I will wait for you in my office, when you’re ready.” And he leaves the room which he filled with his strong, expensive cologne.

Yuk Hei is the type of young CEO who is just a spoiled brat at the first sight. You see him with ladies at poker nights and all fancied up in the most perfect-fit black suit with a little rose ready to be given to any lady that would catch his attention. He is that handsome, tall, perfect pushed back, black hair, and deep brown Chinese eyes that no body could refuse. Besides all of this, he’s got the charms, charisma, his humour is always a fine one. Sooyoung was very attracted to him at first, she could’ve sworn she will faint when she came at this agency for a modelling interview. He was standing there, scanning every move of her body. This made Sooyoung’s legs tremble and she thinks he just chose her as his model for mercy. Now, 2 years later, she sees Yuk Hei only as a good friend, and her “boss”.

--

Yeri just got home, after the “tiring” shopping session with her unnies. Tiring, in fact, only for her, because all Seulgi and Irene did was stare at the younger one running from store to store, trying on 10 dressed per store and buying in the end only one from the last store they went into. Yeri is happy though, she got to spend time with two of the most important persons to her and now she is at her vanity table, getting ready for her “big date”. She plays music loudly as she does her makeup so she couldn’t bother to hear the entrance door opening. Perfect timing for her evil Canadian friend to sneak in and scare the life out of Yeri.

“WENDY SON!!! I SWEAR TO THE GODS YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS-“ screams Yeri and stomps her feet to the floor like a little child who didn’t get any candy.

“Woah woah woah! What are you getting ready for, miss single?” says Wendy, with a cocky, proud smile on her face while making herself comfortable on the endge of Yeri’s bed.

“Not you business.”

Wendy grabs her hand firmly, enough to scare Yerim again and intimidates her “My business!”

Yeri is terrifyied by Wendy’s power. She is that one friend that gets everything she wants from anyone, with just a death glare. Besides that, you could easily get lost In her insanely gorgeous eyes. She is one stunning half-american girl. She is a bank accountant and she works at Yeri’s father’s company, the biggest one in Seoul.

“Ah Wendy! Stop playing games…” says Yeri poutyly. “I’m going out…”

“With? Joy?”

“NO??!!”

“Why so panicked?” Wendy smirks.

“Stupid… I’m not panicked, im just nervous. I’m going out with the most handsome guy in my agency. He’s a photographer and”

“Wait. WHAT?? YOU GOT A DATE?”

“yes…” says Yeri very confused, not knowing if Wendy is being mad or excited for her.

“That is… GREAT! Now let me redo that eyeline, you ain’t going out like that-“ and Wendy smacks the eyeliner from Yeri’s hands and positions herself good enough to give the younger one a BOMB make-up look.

Wendy is a “professional” in dating. She has dated the most men until now. 6 at count. 3 during high school and 3 during the past 4 years of work. Even so, she keeps these “Details” private to her best-friends. Why?

FLASHBACK

“They would never understand…” and she leans her head on his shoulder.

“But they are your friends Seungwan… Will you hide this from them forever?”

“I don’t want to lose you… or them…”

“If you continue like this, you will lose one of them… or maybe all. Let’s tell them.” And he wakes up to stand firmly in front of his dear one.

“Give me some more time… Please.”

“Just because I love you… but the time is ticking.” And he places a meaningful kiss on her forehead leaving her to sit alone on the cold bench in front of the Han River.

END OF FLASHBACK.

Hours and hours of getting ready, and Yeri is finally ready to go, under the splendid makeover done by Wendy.

“You looks stunning!” says Wendy while she analyses her bestie from top to bottom.

“I love you so much Seungwan! Thank you.” And she suddenly become thoughtful.

“What’s wrong?”

“What if I fail.”

“Yerim… what’s with this negativity… I don’t wanna hear none of this! You will go there and have the wildest night of your life-“ Yeri is looking at Wendy with big eyes.

“W-wild?”

“I mean- Yeah. Wild.”

“What do you mean by-“

“OH MY LOOK AT THE TIME!” says Wendy, flustered and drags Yeri to the door.

All the details are done and now she is ready to head to the door, right when the doorbell rings.

“Uhm. Is he supposed to come pick you up”

“Yes. I think that’s him.” Says Yeri while staring blankly at the door, not knowing what to do.

“then… WHY ARE U STANDING AND NOT GOING TO OPEN?” says Wendy is a quiet scream.

“SHH! Ok, ok ima go.”

And she opens the door, leaving sight to one of the most beautiful man they have ever seen. Or at least, Wendy has seen. She was standing awkwardly in the back of Yeri, staring the man down. It was a male in his 25s, dressed not very fancy, but definitely breathtaking as he was wearing a nice white shirt, complimenting one of the tiniest waist Wendy has ever seen at a male, some black jeans that looked like they were made to be worn by him and only him and a denim jacket falling over one of this shoulders. His cologne already made Wendy zone out and now that she is done scanning his body, she gets to the face, a face that stuns her beyond words. “The prettiest man alive” she tought to herself.

All her thoughts are now faded as she finds herself alone in the room. “Did they leave?” She must’ve zoned out way too much that Yeri and the handsome man already left. Did she really catch herself looking at the man Yeri is dating?? Yeri, her best friend?? “This can’t be possible…” she tells to herself as she leans thoughtful on the sofa. She feels sad. She feels disappointed in herself but yet, she really can’t take her mind off the man she has just seen. She ends up falling sleep in Yeri’s apartment, on her sofa, sunk deep in thoughts and questions.

[artistotel-archive]

i can finally introduce this guy i’ve been developing over the past few days!

long story short, @arrt-jim-lad practically bullied me into making a friend for this guy. also, shout out to jim for helping me so much with tero’s costume, and turning my rough idea into the real thing! ;V; <3

The Fear Hero: FEARSTRIKE

Real name: Tero Shiryoku

Quirk: Fear induction - he can induce fear in his opponent. From mild anxiety and uneasiness to full blown traumatic and phobic attacks, Fearstrike strikes fear in the hearts of his opponents. His quirk requires clear and direct eye contact, even if it’s for a split of second. The quirk has a very individual working - with some people it might invoke a sensation or a memory of a scary thing, or an image, or a sound, or a feeling of physical touch.

personality, backstory, trivia are under the cut!

Personality: For someone with such a villainous and scary quirk, Tero is actually a very timid and shy guy. He's kind hearted and meek, introverted, and you could say - a bit of a sad willow. He rarely strikes a converstation as he tends to be socially awkward since he's never had proper friends before UA. Loneliness made him quite independent and he feels no need to continuously try over and over to fit into a group. He longs for friends, but he knows it will acchieve nothing if they don't like him for who he is. He also tends to be distrustful because everyone becomes cold after they find out about his quirk. 

He is very slow to warm up and open to people because of bad past experiences, but once he does, he does it with full heart, and becomes a friend for life. He's loyal, but not under cost of being dishonest, and won't be scared to say things he means, no matter the consequences.

Even though he's quiet and non-argumentative, Tero has a tongue - snarky one at it. He won't fight with words, but he will say what he has to say and probably conclude the argument after it. He thinks his words through, and once he explains himself, he feels no need to do so further. He is prone to simply leaving or cutting his converstation partner short. He isn't expressive, so his tone tends to be deadpan and monotone.

His quirk has often been ruled by his emotions so Tero tries to stay calm and control his feelings. He tries to not get upset over things because he's terrified of snapping and hurting someone in rage. That's also why he's hurt people every time he's used it - it's always been because of his strong emotions. Because of this, he comes off distant and uninterested - but on positive side, he's chill and easy going, as he avoids getting upset over things. It all depends on how you go about him.

Behind such non-expressive face, however, hides an intelligent mind. Tero is both studious and a quick thinker, and while his commentary tends to be short, it's usually enough. Because of his quirk, Tero's become obsessed with psychology and philosophy - trying to figure out what causes fear and what kinds of fear there are. His interest spread to other emotions and the ways psyche works. Questions about moral, ethics, self worth, life, are what dragged him into philosophy.

History: Growing up with such a scary quirk was no easy task for Tero. His quirk manifested at bad time, when his mother looked into his eyes, and suffered a full phobic attack from her son. This made her resent Tero and avoid him. However, his father absolutely adores his misunderstood son, and has been the supportive pillar in Tero's life. His father is a well liked man in the street, so when he got stuck with such a son everyone pitied him behind his back - but he's never shown shame of his boy. Actually, quite the opposite: he always stressed how proud he is of Shiryoku. Tero's also accidentally hurt his older brother the same way he did his mom, so he's not on such good terms with him either.

Tero was abandoned and rejected his entire childhood. When he was a kid, in self defense, he made a bully suffer an extreme phobic attack which left the child traumatized for the rest of his life. Tero, having no idea how to control his quirk, became terrified of it and of himself and made a promise to never use it again. That's when he started wearing skii googles - to block eye contact with anyone.

This scandal obviously led to other children whispering behind Tero's back and making him an outcast, even other parents demanding for Tero to be kicked out the school or forbidding him from coming near their children. This made Tero break down, and that's when the desire to become a hero started sprouting in him: he wanted so badly to repent for his bad deeds and  wash that traumatized child off his hands by becoming a pro hero. He didn't feel angry at the other kids - he felt ashamed of himself.

He grew up in a quite poor and bad neighbour, in low class family. He hung out with some bad kids for a while because they seemed to accept his quirk - but after a while it became clear they wanted to use it for bad purposes. He quickly jetted out the clique and was left all alone again.

When he got into UA, he rose in the eyes of his community - he became pride of the street and was finally accepted by his neighbourhood. Grannies started telling him how proud they are and giving him treats when they'd see him. This made Tero insanely happy.

Fighting style: because of his promise to never use his quirk, which is not a physical one anyway, Tero built himself accordingly. He is speedy and versatile, with medium power.

He is a stealth type of fighter, a ninja boy, who jumps, spins, climbs, hides, and tries to keep out of close combat.

Hero persona: Fearstrike was built to be scary. He is dark ninja out of a horror movie which you see only a few times, before he sneaks up from your back. The outfit is mostly black, with eyes that pop out of darkness, making Tero look dismembered and non human. If he isn't ninjaing around, he moves slowly and creepily, in an inhuman way.

Fearstrike never speaks, outside of occassional weird sounds. He has wraps on his arms and legs which are used to wrap the enemies up and immobilize them. Around his waist he has a wire which ends with a claw - he uses this to catch opponents and get closer to them, so that he can make the eye contact. The claw can also serve as a grappling hook so it's quite useful in getting around.

The eyes are actually lights that sometimes flash to appear as if they're blinking. His gloves and heels have spiky endings.

Trivia: - Tero never looks people in the eyes. He is terrified of eye contact, even if he has protective glasswear. - He tried to make his room a happy place by painting it into yellow, but he ultimately failed, since his room doesn't get much sun. So it's just a grey mushy room. - He's a smoker (I made him a smoker just out of spite because Kashi, as a singer, hates smoke lmao). - Kashi helped him design his outfit.  Before Tero came to terms with his quirk, he handed in just a drawing of a black jumpsuit and googles, so that he couldnt use his power. After he gains confidence, he asks Kashi for help for a redesign. - Speaking of Kashi, he's a huge fan of Kashi's father. - He adores horror movies. Absolutely adores. - He is very, very studious - in fact, he will often keep researching topics they do in school. He usually ends up on a whole different topic. These obsessions last for a few days, and then he just drops them. - He suffers from frequent nightmares and wakes up often during night. He always dreams horrific monsters and places, but those don't scare him. The scary dreams for him are dreams where other people are suffering, or he's lost control and is hurting them. - When he uses his quirk, he gets a very vague glimpse of what's another person experiencing. It's unclear and he can't always place it, but sometimes he can figure it out. It usually troubles him. - UA changes him inside and outside and he reclaims his quirk and learns to control it.

[mx-requests-forum]

[Fulfilled] He Followed Me Home

Prompt: Changki + Cat!Kihyun + Young Owner Changkyun

Fulfilled by Moderator ReeLee~

Words: 1814

AO3 Link (For Easier Reading)

Changkyun walks briskly down the sidewalk, keeping his head down to avoid drawing any unwelcome gazes as he nears the school gate. He just hopes today he’ll be able to make it through the entrance without running into trouble… unlike the day before.

“Yah! Changkyun-ah!”

The boy stops, his blood freezing in his veins in terror. He presses his lips together in a nervous fashion, knowing it’s too late to act as if he hadn’t heard it the call. Dark laughter echoes in his ear, and suddenly there’s rough, calloused hands spinning him around. He stares down at the ground, unable to meet his tormenter’s eyes.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you, kid,” the eighth-grader demands, shaking him a bit. A yelp of pain slips through Changkyun’s lips at the tight hold, which seems to only encourage the older boy’s behavior. He smiles a oily smile, and shoves Changkyun away from him. The sixth-grader stumbles back, and consequently lands on his butt with a low ‘oomf’.

His tormentors creep towards him, smirks on their faces and a menacing light painting their eyes. Changkyun quakes in fear where he sits, his heart hammering in his tiny little body. He bites his lower lip and closes his eyes, readying himself for the assault. Maybe today will be the day they give him a black eye. Maybe then he could have proof and report them. Maybe then—

“Mrrrrrroooooowwwr!!!”

Changkyun slowly peeks open his eyes, surprised at the high-pitched meow. His eyebrows raise in question at seeing a small, fluffy, brown kitten standing between him and the bullies. The older boys seem a bit… scared by the feline. The leader actually backs up a few steps, his mouth dropping open in surprise.

“Dude, get that thing away,” he commands, snarling up his upper lip to show his displeasure. “I’m allergic.”

“I-It’s not mine,” Changkyun mumbles in reply, though he doesn’t move to shove it away. If something as simple as a kitten is enough to keep them away from him, he’s more than willing to adopt it immediately. The bullies’ leader rolls his eyes, scoffing at Changkyun’s stuttering, and turns to leave him be.

“Whatever. We’ll just catch you later, Kyunnie~” he says over his shoulder, sneering over at the younger still on the ground. Changkyun gulps, his gaze returning to the pavement. He looks over to the cat, which is now staring at him curiously with its head cocked to the side. Giant brown eyes watch him unblinkingly, and Changkyun can’t help but hold out a tentative hand to its head. It quickly rubs its head against the boy’s hand, earning a toothy grin from him.

“Thanks…” he mumbles, and the cat mewls in response. Changkyun chuckles under his breath, and reaches forward to pick him up. The kitten meows in protest, but the boy only holds it close to his chest in a grateful hug.

“Mooowwr,” it cries, and Changkyun can’t help but laugh again. Suddenly, the bell rings out in the air, signifying the beginning of morning classes. Changkyun sucks in a breath at his own tardiness, and quickly sets the kitten down.

“I’ve gotta go,” he tells it, patting his new friend on the hand in a short goodbye. He gives it a small, genuine smile, and then runs off towards the school building.

He’s in such a rush to get into the building he doesn’t even look back. Which, in the kitten’s opinion, is for the better. The small feline trots off towards the bushes, and crouches down as much as he can to avoid drawing attention to himself. He watches for a few minutes, just waiting until the last of the students finally meander their ways into the school building, until finally he can morph into his true form again.

The cat chokes back a groan of protest as his limbs elongate and his claws shorten. His fur falls away, and his tail retracts into his body. His ears pop and he has to hold his breath as the process goes, careful to not strain his own organs as they grow into the size they should be.

Yoo Kihyun, eighth grader, now straightens up with a huff. He stretches his arms as high as they can go to stretch out his back, his bones cracking back into place. The boy leaves the bushes behind and walks off the campus, ignoring easily the pain that always follows a transformation.

He hadn’t planned to do such a thing, but he just couldn’t help himself. Now, he’ll be late returning home from his errands, and his mother is going to give him an earful… But, it’s worth it. He’s noticed throughout the past month how much crap those jerks give that poor boy when passing by the school on occasion, and he had to do something.

Granted, he hadn’t meant to turn into a kitten—he had more or less been aiming for a tiger—but it ended up working out.

 Not too long after, Kihyun returns home with his arms weighted down by shopping bags.

“I’m home, Eomma!” he calls as he slips out of his shoes. He hears a faint hum from the kitchen in acknowledgment, and he makes his way there on socked feet.

“What took you so long?” his mother asks as he walks into the kitchen. Kihyun chews on his bottom lip, not looking forward to her reaction.

“Um, well, remember that boy I’ve seen around?”

His mother, who had been cutting up vegetables for the stew she’d planned to prepare, pauses and puts her knife down on the cutting board. She turns to glance at her son, her eyes shining with a warning light.

“I… uh,” Kihyun mutters, smiling sheepishly, “I kind of Shifted into a cat to help him with his bully problems… So, that kind of took up some time…”

“You what?!” his mother demands, her voice turning into a shrill cry of outrage. She closes the distance between them, her gaze growing frightful as she takes hold of his shoulders. “Do you know how risky that was? Did anyone see you? Did anyone notice?” Kihyun shakes his head quickly.

“No, Eomma,” he tells her softly. “I was careful, I swear.” She stares into his eyes for another second before releasing a relieved breath, and letting go to slump into a chair at the dining table.

“That was reckless,” she states simply, crossing her arms over her chest. “Don’t you remember your lessons on what’s happened to other Shifters who have been caught over the years? Honestly, Kihyunnie, you’d think I haven’t taught you anything all these years…”

“But, Eomma,” Kihyun interjects, going over to take hold of her hands as he stares at her pleadingly, “they were pushing him around, treating him like crap! He needed help!”

“It doesn’t matter if some cute boy needs your help or not,” she tells him simply, her voice strained. “You don’t risk exposure… ever.” She then stands, heaving a tired sigh. “Go on up to your room, I’ll call you when lunch is ready.” Kihyun purses his lips, as the woman is obviously still upset, but turns to comply, anyway. He knows better than to argue with her when she’s like this.

He throws himself onto his bed, turning on his side to stare at the clock. He thinks of the cute boy, a smile coming to him as he remembers the feeling of being held by him. He’d like to hold him back one day… or maybe something more. He seems so sweet, so caring, so genuine… Sure, he doesn’t exactly know the boy personally, or anything, but he’d like to.

He’s gonna get the crap beaten out of him after school, Kihyun thinks sullenly. Without me there, those guys are gonna kick him around to no end…

He sits up, knowing what he has to do, where he has to be by exactly 3:30 PM today.

 Changkyun sneaks out of the classroom a couple minutes early and keeps his head down. He’s not banking on his furry little protector being there this afternoon, so he’s trying to get out of there as fast as humanly possible.

He luckily manages to beat his tormentors out the door, and he thanks his lucky stars as he sets off at a sprint towards the gate. But, as he’s picking up his pace, he almost trips over a small ball of fur curled up on the bottom step to the school. The young boy spins around in surprise, his eyes widening at finding the kitten from this morning there, seemingly waiting for him.

The kitten sits up a little, its tail wagging as its eyes glint with an almost amused light. Changkyun can’t help but smile at the expression, and he tilts his head to the side. The kitten mirrors the action, and then bounds on over to the boy. Changkyun giggles a little, and kneels down to pat his head. The kitten purrs at the attention. The warm noise of pleasure gives the boy absolutely no choice in picking the feline up, and holding him in his arms as he continues on his way home.

Kihyun tries not to get too comfortable in this new position, as he knows he’ll have to leave eventually to get home himself, but he still can’t help the contented purr emanating from his throat.

 “I’m home, Eomma!” Changkyun calls upon entering his home. He slips off his shoes and hurries towards his room, knowing exactly how his mother will react to the feline in his arms.

“Do you want a snack, Kyunnie?” she asks sweetly from the living room. Changkyun makes a sound of denial, too much in a rush to do much else. She pokes her head out of the living room, frowning in confusion at how he isn’t coming to greet her as he always does. She can’t help but chuckle knowingly at seeing the hunched way he’s walking. She reaches out and grabs him by the shoulder, but doesn’t expect in the slightest to see her dear son cradling a cat close to his heart when she turns him around.

She raises a suspicious brow, and Changkyun shifts on his feet, licking his lips anxiously.

“He… um… He followed me home…”

His mother raises a skeptical brow, chuckling at the obvious lie. She glances down at the kitten in his arms, shaking her head at the innocent gaze.

“Go on,” she sighs, pretending to be exasperated but really too amused to be mad at her son for bringing home a pet. “We’ll talk about this later.”

Changkyun giggles delightedly, and pauses only to kiss her on the cheek before running off to his room. Kihyun bounces in his arms as he goes, knowing he should be heading home soon, but unwilling to leave Changkyun’s warm embrace quite yet.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #118 - Kingsman: The Secret Service

Spoilers below.

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes!

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #343.

Format: Blu-ray

1) I love this movie. It’s so much fun, it has a great blend of style and character, and it’s just a treat all around! Honestly it’s probably the best Roger Moore James Bond movie without Roger Moore in it.

2) Hey, it’s Mark Hamill!

3) The bad guys are so polite in this movie.

Thug; “I’m under very strict instructions not to hurt you.”

4) Hey, it’s Jack Davenport!

Too bad he, like Mark Hamill, dies very early on in the movie.

5) The score in this film composed by Henry Jackman and Matthew Margeson is one of the things that infuses this film with the energy it has. It has JUST enough of that classic 007 feel to know that’s what they’re going for, but not too much to distract the audience. The rest is a fun, action packed score which adds an extra dose of adrenaline to the film. I love it!

6) Sofia Boutella as Gazelle!

Boutella’s scar is quickly on the rise, having memorable rules in this, as Jaylah in Star Trek Beyond, and as the titular monster in Universal’s upcoming The Mummy reboot. And this films tells you why. It is a smaller role, especially when compared to Eggsy or the main villain Valentine, but every scene Boutella is in defines the character. She’s fierce but also incredibly loyal to Valentine, but that doesn’t mean she’s not human. You see bits of kindness, curiosity, wonder, and humor. Boutella merges all these qualities wonderfully in the villainous Gazelle and her scenes with Sam Jackson are a delight!

7) Samuel L. Jackson as Richmond Valentine.

Sam Jackson is great in this role. I honestly don’t think I’ve seen the legend give a bad performance. Has he been in bad movies? Sure. But he always commits 100% and gives it his all, and here’s no different.

Valentine is an interesting character in that he’s the best example of a villain believing he’s the good guy. He doesn’t want to kill people, he doesn’t want to hurt people, he wants to save the world, so he’ll get others to kill and hurt people for him. Samuel L. Jackson is a lot of fun in the role, adding a nice lisp which (according to IMDb):

Samuel L. Jackson's character of Richmond Valentine was originally intended not to have a lisp. However, Jackson completed his first take with a lisp. Matthew Vaughn yelled "cut!", and talked to Jackson, who revealed to Vaughn that, prior to having an acting career, he actually had a lisp, which he eventually overcame. It was also jokingly remarked that this lisp is Valentine's reason for being villainous.

It’s a great part of the film.

8) Harry Hart/Gallahad’s need for the Kingsman to progress past snobs already establishes him as an interesting character among the spy organization. It shows he truly understands what it is to be noble. That it’s not about the circumstances of one’s birth but how you treat your fellow man. But more on that later.

9) Taron Egerton as Eggsy.

Although the film was largely marketed on the star power of Firth, Jackson, and even Michael Caine, it is Eggsy who’s the real hero of the film and he is awesome! Eggsy is an intriguing character with a lot of nice layers/surprises which pop up in the film in fun ways. To start we learn that - even as a “punk” - he lives by a strict moral code of not ratting on his friends and taking care of his own, but he’s not below petty pranks of revenge (as in stealing a jackass’ car and then driving it backwards). He can keep a secret and largely fends for himself, only calling upon the favor Harry Hart offered him 17 years later when he REALLY needs it.

Egerton is fantastic in the role! He embraces every layer of Eggsy. The kindness, the loyalty, the rough edges, the temper, the brashness, all the contradictions and surprises, and he blends them together in a believably way. He’s funny, charismatic, and an absolute star on screen.

10) I never understand why Eggsy’s mom decided to marry such a shit after his dad died. Maybe because he can support them? I don’t know, but Eggsy’s stepdad is a prick.

11) I love this

Harry: Your father was a brave man. A good man. And having read your files, I'd think he'd be bitterly disappointed in the choices you've made.

Eggsy: You can't talk to me like that.

Harry: Huge I.Q., great performance in primary school. And it all went tits up. Drugs, petty crime, never had a job.

Eggsy: Do you think there's a lot of jobs going around here, yeah?

Harry: Doesn't explain why you gave up your hobbies. First prize, regional under tens' gymnastics, two years in a row. Your coach had you pegged as Olympic team material.

Eggsy: Yeah, well, when you grow up around someone like my stepdad, you pick up new hobbies pretty quick.

Hart: Now of course. Always someone else's fault. Who's to blame you for quitting the Marines? You were halfway through training, doing brilliantly, but you gave up.

Eggsy: Because my mum went mental, banging on about losing me as well as my dad. Then we wouldn't be cannon fodder for snobs like you, judging people like me from your ivory towers with no thought about why we do what we do. We ain't got much choice, you get me? And if we was born with the same silver spoon up our arses, we'd do just as well as you, if not better.

I think this is great for a few reasons. It tells us a lot about Eggsy (gymnast, marine corp, huge IQ) but it SHOWS us a lot too. It shows up that he respects himself and that he’ll stand by the decisions he’s made in the past. It shows us that Eggsy takes shit from no one, no matter how in the right society may say they are.

12) I love the fight scene in the bar, otherwise known as “Manners Maketh Man”.

It is our first real showcase of the film’s stellar action sequences, which hold up for the rest of our two hour ride. I think the action is most marked by a fun, fast pace, but also incredible fight choreography. It’s an excellent case of action/reaction or action/consequences. Everything leads into everything else and it all flows so beautifully.

13) Remember how I said Eggsy had some nice layers?

Harry [trying to describe training Eggsy to be a spy]: Did you see the film Trading Places?

Eggsy: No.

Harry: How about Nikita? Pretty Woman? Now, my point is that the lack of a silver spoon has set you on a certain path that you needn't stay on. If you're prepared to adapt and learn, you can transform.

Eggsy: Oh, like in My Fair Lady.

Hart: You're full of surprises.

Eggsy is not some moron tough guy who’s masculinity is too fragile to watch and appreciate My Fair Lady. Harry obviously has this image in his mind of what Eggsy is (a guy who likes raunchy comedies and action movies).

14) Is it me or is the idea of a spy organization run totally on its own above any sort of law or government shady as fuck? And they use fear tactics to train their recruits and want them to willingly shoot a poor dog in a cold blood (more on that bullshit later).

15) I love Roxy.

She doesn’t get nearly enough screen time but is given some nice development in the time she does.

Is able to be civil in a competitive field without it getting in the way of her goals.

Has an incredible fear of heights and/or falling, but that doesn’t stop her from doing what needs to be done towards the end of the film (which is a great arc in and of itself).

Is willing what needs to be done to accomplish her goals (like shooting a dog to be in Kingsman).

We see her and Eggsy develop a nice friendship. Not a romance, not a will they won’t they, a mutual respect among peers and also platonic support. If the sequel can improve on the original in one way (and listen carefully Matthew Vaughn) it would be to include more Roxy!

16) Can we be honest? If there was a US president who would participate in the planning of mass genocide from this current decade, it wouldn’t be Obama.

17) The water tank!

Not only an example of the film’s great action, but also imaginative set pieces and classic spy thrills. Also - and I say this as a hetero guy - but Eggsy’s abs have even me going DAMN.

18) Me too Sam Jackson. Me too.

Valentine [after he has to blow up Professor Arnold’s head or risk exposure]: “He made me kill Professor Arnold. I goddamn loved Professor Arnold.”

19) This line really sticks with me.

Valentine [after Gazelle says she reached out to various secret services]: “Beijing. So freaky how there's no recognizable name for the Chinese Secret Service. Now that's what you call a secret, right?”

20) I’m a dog person, okay? I love this.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

21) Remember how I said that Kingsman is a shady spy organization? Well it should really follow the Captain America rule of ethics and not include any bullies in its services. The only two candidates who aren’t pricks are Eggsy and Roxy!

22) The skydiving scene - akin to the water tank scene - is a great example of the film’s wonderful set pieces and fun writing. It also gives us Roxy’s fear of heights and/or falling and Eggsy supporting his friend (and later fellow teammates) even though if he left her there it would mean he’d advance through the program. It’s so great! Even Merlin (Mark Strong) is getting tense watching!

23) I get hungry for McDonald’s every time I see this film.

24) The scene where Harry visits Valentine at his home for a gala which turns into a dinner date (basically) is a very Bond scene. They each have a sense for who the other is but play nice, act civil, make vague threats. I call it “Into The Lion’s Den.” Very 007.

25) This. Fucking. Quote.

Harry (quoting Ernest Hemingway): “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

I live by this fucking quote.

26) This film has some pretty great humor.

Harry (showing Eggsy how a knife hidden in a boot works): “Now do your very best impersonation of a German aristocrat's formal greeting.”

Harry: “No, Eggsy.”

[Harry clicks his heels and a blade pops out of his right shoe]

27) THIS STUPID BULLSHIT WITH THE DOG!!!!

Arthur [the head of Kingsman, handing Eggsy a gun]: “Shoot the dog.”

So the final test to be a Kingsman agent is to shoot a dog who’ve you spent the last few months training and growing attached to and if you shoot the dog you get in.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

And later it turns out the gun was only filled with blanks and Harry says Kingsman only condone the taking of a life when it’s necessary.

(GIF originally posted by @karenmpage)

We only condone the taking of a life when it’s considerate and thought out, but we want to make sure all our agents are mindless coldblooded killers who follow orders without questions because that always works so damn well. You know, because we’re the good guys.

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

 28) The fucking church scene. 

So Harry goes to a hate-group church in America which Valentine has shown an interest in to inspect it, and we hear a little bit of their extremely hateful rhetoric before Harry gets up to leave...

Harry: Would you excuse me?

Female Patron: Where are you going?

Female Patron: Hey! What's your problem?

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

And then Harry gets up to leave and Valentine (who’s in a nearby building) starts a mysterious machine he tests out on the church. What follows is one of the greatest action sequences to grace the screens of cinema:

Content Warning: The below video features hyper-violent, bloody, stylized violence. Watch at your own discretion.

Everything about this scene is perfect. The choice of music feeds directly into the high speed sense of pacing, and the choice to speed up the film just a bit not only supports that same aspect of pacing but also gives the scene the quality of a runaway train. Because that’s what Harry is right now: he’s out of control! He has no ability to make decisions he just lets loose with every hateful whim that pops in his head. But probably the thing that makes this scene work as well as it does is the decision to make it a continuous shot. You cut back to Eggsy, Merlin, and Valentine/Gazelle as they witness this event, but the fight inside of the church itself is a continuous shot (or edited to appear as such). This goes back to my earlier point of how the action of the film plays very much into cause/effect or actions/consequences. You witness every little thing that happens. Harry runs out of bullets? He starts to beat someone with his gun. Someone just tried to stab him? He takes the knife for himself. It is continuous. It flows. And it is just an adrenaline filled scene to watch.

Note: I saw this twice in theaters, the second time with my parents. My mom loves Colin Firth and did not take too kindly to the fact that he murdered a bunch of people. She thought the scene was great, but she didn’t like that they made Colin Firth do that. My mom is very cute sometimes (like when she asked me in Rouge One when Chewbacca was going to show up, knowing full well he didn’t).

29) After the church scene, Valentine shoots Harry point blank in the head and hates how it feels. Gazelle points out that he just killed everyone in that church.

Valentine: “No, no, no, they killed each other.”

That is so fucking important for Valentine’s character. He doesn’t tack responsibility for any of his actions. He doesn’t see himself as the villain. He sees himself as a savior who hasn’t even killed anyone!

30) Note: The scene I’m about to discuss is best experienced without knowing that it’s going to happen. If you want to be surprised by it, skip on to note #31.

So skipping ahead a bit to when Eggsy has infiltrated the enemy base (since all the notes I made during the preceding scenes I’d made already), the way everyone’s head blows up in a scene I call “Pomp & Circumstance” is hysterical.

In contrast to the hyper violent and sometimes too realistic fight in the church, the filmmakers opt to make a more cartoony and artistic violent scene. And if you don’t know it’s coming you laugh so hard when it happens (hence the note above).

31) The song choice of “Give It Up” as Valentine operates his hate machine gives it a similar sense of pacing as “Freebird” did in the church scene. This film really understands that music is it’s friend.

32) This scene seems weirdly empowering towards women.

Swedish Princess (who is captive in Valentine’s base, after Eggsy says he has to save the world before he rescues her): “If you save the world, we can do it in the asshole.”

And in any other movie this would be written off as, “Oh, a guy wrote that line.” But this script was written by a man and a woman, meaning she had to okay it. So...weirdly empowering, right?

I think I should move on.

33) The fight scene between Gazelle and Eggsy may not be the sheer perfection which is the church scene, but it’s a fun watch nonetheless and it uses Gazelle’s blade legs to their advantage.

34) Remember how I said this film’s score incorporates JUST enough 007 in it? Well the little bit of horn we get just before Gazelle dies represents that perfectly. That’s a very James Bond moment.

35)

Valentine [after Eggsy has fatally wounded him]: “Is this the part where you say some really bad pun?”

Eggsy: “It's like you said to Harry: this ain't that kind of movie, bruv.”

It kinda is.

36) And we come full circle.

Kingsman is spectacular. It’s possibly my favorite spy movie of 2015 (which had Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, Spy, The Man from UNCLE (sorry @theforceisstronginthegirl), Bridge of Spies, and SPECTRE), definitely one of my favorite action movies ever, and hell it’s one of my favorite films of all time. It is just a fun ride with great style, characters, and acting. A true delight through and through. Go watch it now if you can!

[heartsofstrangers]

What is one of the most challenging things that you’ve experienced or are currently experiencing?

“One of the most challenging things that I’ve experienced and am currently experiencing is – just recently – being incarcerated. While being incarcerated, I had to deal with not being with my son and a very rough breakup with the love of my life. I’m not gonna name names, but she was my fiancée and me sitting in a cell, having to deal with that, not really knowing what’s going on in the outside world. Out of all the things I’ve experienced, that has got to be the most difficult. I mean, I could tell you about things I’ve gone through in my life, and most people would probably say, ‘How was that the most difficult thing? How could that possibly be the most difficult?’

“I’ve been hospitalized my whole life, being in and out of places, and watching my mom out the window of a residence – when she walks away, she seems fine – ‘Okay, take care.’ And then watching how she really feels, when she doesn’t know I’m watching her cry, seeing her hold her stomach because it’s in knots because she can’t bear leaving me in a place. Losing my Uncle Frank, the only real father figure I’ve ever had, was hard.

“So how is the heartbreak the worst? How is being incarcerated and dealing with all that worst? I don’t know the answer to all that myself: it’s just the most difficult. It hit me real hard. It’s the one thing I don’t think I’ll ever get over, the only thing I won’t be able to move on from. I don’t know if it’s the not knowing what’s going on or the love and the fact that I love the person and it’s so toxic. It’s difficult to try to make things work. We have a child together, and being away from him and not being able to see him grow up.

“He’s two now – but not being able to see his first steps, his first words, that stuff you never ever get back. Time is very precious, and we don’t realize how precious until you’re stuck doing the same thing every day and everyone else in the outside world keeps on moving. Every little thing you can’t get back. I can’t recreate my son’s first Christmas; I’ll never get that back. I can’t see his first steps, ‘cause I missed it. I can’t hear his first words because I wasn’t there to hear them. There are things that, no matter how much I want or feel like I needed to experience in my life, that are unrealistic. It’ll never happen. I don’t have a time machine, as much as a lot of us wish we did. I ain’t got no time machine.

“There’s no second chance for that type of stuff. I do plan on having more children, so I can experience it then, but with my firstborn, my only child right now, those moments are gone. I don’t know where the past three, four years went; it seems like everything’s flown by real quick. Here I am, I just turned twenty this month, October 11th, and I don’t know how I got here, but I did, and I’m still standing. It still hurts. It definitely still hurts, but I’ve grown stronger from it, definitely. I notice it in myself but a lot of people notice it too, I guess. I’ve grown a lot in the past two years. I don’t even remember, it’s gone by so quick; I don’t remember how I used to be. I see the growth a little bit, I guess, but I don’t remember how I used to act and how things used to go.”

What was growing up like for you?

“Growing up, I was living in a rich town. I grew up in North Branford. Everyone around me was wealthy and I felt like I was the only one where money was really tight, and my mother – she’s done the best that she could for me. I can’t say I haven’t really gotten everything I wanted or needed; I have. My mother tried very hard to give me everything I wanted and needed. She raised me very well and very respectfully, well-mannered.

“But I’d like to say this, just like this, just like everybody else, I got issues. Growing up, it’s been hard dealing with my issues, and it’s been hard going in and out of places, racing thoughts and being told I need to be on this medication or that or this, oh, and then, because this medication is doing this, now I need this, and they give me this medication and it makes me react – it makes my psyche not so good; I end up going into a hospital, and I have to sit in a hospital until they get my meds right. It’s all just feels like strings on my arms, like a game, I’m a puppet and they’re playing with me.”

You mentioned your issues being challenging to deal with. What were some of those issues? Were you referring to your mental health? Were you referring to external things?

“I’m referring to really both. They intertwine with each other. The external things around me in my life have – my mental health, I have bipolar disorder. That’s what they say I has. That’s made other external things harder to deal with. Anxiety, too – racing thoughts.

“So when I have situations where I, growing up, getting in trouble with the law, drinking, smoking marijuana, doing reckless stuff, or a tragedy – my uncle Frank passed away – dealing with the heartbreak of losing the moments in my life that I feel like I really needed, and losing the person that I love because of a toxic situation where maybe we don’t mix. I don’t think I can really call a specific situation – there are tons of them.

“Everything’s just flown by. It’s all gone really fast. I don’t even really remember growing up. I had a good childhood. It was all fun and games, no responsibilities, just bullshitting around and getting into trouble, bonfires and drinking at a young age…playing with fire, basically. I dunno. Everybody looked at me like I was such a bad person, and I’m a really good person. I think I’m one of the best people that anybody could meet if you got to know me, but people just think I’m a bad guy, this awful person that’s so mean and violent.

“And I get that – I’ve done things for people to think that – but that’s not me. It’s not me. And then it became, like, I’m this bad guy? Okay, I’m a bad guy. If that’s what everybody’s gonna call me, that’s what I’m gonna be. I’m so awful, then that’s exactly what I’m gonna be: awful. That’s what you all see in me already, so what’s it matter if I actually become that person?

“And I started to act up and stuff, be erratic. I got heavily into drinking and became an alcoholic, and time just started flying by, getting into trouble, and then I ended up going into prison, and that was when my son was three weeks ago, and then just crazy ups and downs: things were really good and things were really bad, and it never felt like there was an in-between.

Where was your father in all of this?

“I was adopted, and since I was adopted at eight months old, by my mother who I have today, who I consider my blood, she never had a man, as far as I know. She has a biological son, my brother Elliot, but I never met his father and I’ve never had a father-figure in my life other than my brother, who is twenty. We’re complete opposites: he’s straight-edge, likes sports, does good, I guess I should say. He doesn’t do any drugs or alcohol. He’s got his life together, and he’s always been like that, so we never really connected or clicked, but he’s always tried to help me and show me the right way and stuff.

“My mother feels like she failed, and my brother feels like he failed as a brother, but I tell my mother constantly, ‘You didn’t fail. You raised me really well and respectful and this that and the third. If anything, I let you down. It’s out of your control. I’m my own person. I am who I am. I’m a good person but I’m rebellious in lots of ways. I don’t like authority over me, at all. I like to do me and live my life.’

“So being in jail was obviously hard, given the fact that you have authority over you 24/7. Hospitals and all that. I think that’s part of why I hate the system, I hate authority types, but who doesn’t really hate the system? I can’t speak for other people, but it’s not my fault that they do what they do. Nobody would hate them if they didn’t act the way they acted and do the things they do, so I can look at that both ways: Okay, maybe people think I’m a bad dude because of the things I did, but really, you don’t know me, behind the scenes. You don’t know how good of a person I am. You don’t know me inside my heart.

“With the system, there’s no behind the scenes; it’s clear. If you’ve been in it, if you’ve seen it, if you’ve experienced it, the corruption is real. Damn, if you’re not gonna like somebody, have a reason. I don’t not like somebody or something ‘cause of something I hear, or even something I think. I’m past opinions with this. The system is corrupt. It’s known. We’re built off corruption, though, but to answer your question, no, I didn’t grow up with a father.”

Did you experience any adversity, would you say, as a child, or trauma, or grief, aside from losing your uncle? Any abuse or bullying?

“Bullying, yes. Being poor, living around a bunch of kids who were born with gold spoons in their mouth and given everything. I see kids younger than me driving around in $80,000 cars, $40,000 trucks, and they think they’re cool and all the females like them and stuff, but they’re not really men. They’ve had everything handed to them, but I don’t wanna get off subject.

“Yeah, I mean, being kinda poor has been hard. People bullying me because, I dunno, ridiculous things, saying I’m ugly or saying messed up stuff. I actually had a snowboarding accident where I smashed my teeth and broke my jaw, and I broke all my teeth, and people made fun of me. That was hard. A lot of bullying there. And then I kinda stood up for the kids who were bullied and getting into fights in school.

“I mean, there’s tons of traumatic experiences. I was in a children’s center – it’s called the Children’s Center of Hamden – a residential where there were – talk about corruption – disgusting human beings, the way they went about their business. I’ve been physically assaulted by staff. I’ve literally had a case opened on this, but magically had my whole file and everything lost. Magically, there was no incident report. That was traumatic.

“I remember when the staff beat me, I escaped from the residential and I ran across the street, and there’s another building, and they were chasing me, and I remember I went around the back and I went to fire escape and I went up it, four stories. It was four stories high. He chased me up the fire escape, and when I was standing at the edge of the railing, watching him, and he’s like ‘Nowhere to go now,’ – that’s how disgusting of a person he was. Nowhere to go now. And I jumped off the fourth fire escape onto the roof of a minivan, and I didn’t break nothing, but I just laid there, really hurt. They kinda peeled me off the minivan and dragged me back. There was no incident report on that.

“Teachers have always done me wrong. My mother could tell you that. She doesn’t like the school systems, period. They don’t know mental health. They don’t know how to teach, really. They don’t understand certain things. They do people like me, in the system, very dirty. There’s no understanding, no respect for situations, and I wasn’t too crazy in school – yeah, I had some fights here and there, and suspensions – but that school has always been traumatizing. I’ve never liked school.

“I didn’t graduate high school because – matter of fact, I got expelled from school, and I went to an alternative school called High Roads in Wallingford, and I was in the school for about a year, half year, whatever. I came home one day and my mother had tears in her eyes, tears of joy. She was so happy. She said, ‘I’m so proud of you. I’m so happy. This school is working for you. The smaller classrooms are working. I’m so happy.’ And I’m like, ‘What do you mean?’ And she’s like, ‘Your report card. You got all A’s and all B’s. You really are doing so well in this school.’ And I broke down in tears, not tears of joy, though. Tears of sadness. Morally, I couldn’t do it. I said to her, ‘Ma, I didn’t do anything in school. I sit in class and draw and play on the computer all day. I do nothing. School is corrupt. They just give me A’s and B’s. I’ve never lifted a finger since I got into that school. They just pass you on through high school.’ And she was like, ‘What?’ And then she started to cry. ‘I can’t believe this.’

“The next day, I walked into the school, and I walked right out. I’m not going to school anymore; I’m done, and I walked right out. For the same reasons that I don’t condone the golden spoon, having things handed to you, I walked out of that school. I could have a high school diploma right now, just for sitting around, but that’s not how I want to get there.

“If somebody handed me a brand-new car right now, of course I’d take it, but I would not appreciate that car as much having it handed to me than if I worked – and worked hard – for it. That’s how I want to do things. That’s how I’m gonna do things. Don’t want it handed to me. I’m gonna put in the work. If I work hard and make it to the top, then I came from the bottom to the top helping myself by putting the work in and the help of others, and the people who are good in this world, with the help from them, if I fall flat on my face, I’m gonna get back up. If I keep falling flat on my face for the rest of my life and I never make it to the top, then so be it. At least I can say I never had it all just handed to me.

“These are values that people need to experience, so even if I’m a millionaire when I’m older, yeah, do I wanna spoil my child? Of course, but I’m not gonna hand him everything. He’s gonna work. He’s gonna know what it’s like to be – not to be dragged through the mud – he’s gonna know – he’s gonna be a man. You can’t be molded into a man if you are not – if you are just given everything, you’re not gonna be molded into a man. You can’t be.

“This world thrives off of ignorance; everyone is ignorant. It thrives off of ignorance and corruption. I’m a small part where I try to change that. I try to change that. I don’t fight over stupid, petty, little things. People get shot for somebody stepping on somebody’s shoe. I’ve had fights in jail because of a drop of water on the sink. A drop of water – when I was washing my hands, a drop of water on the edge of the sink. I didn’t wipe the sink down when I was done, or something. Very, very small things. Things I had to fight for, but I literally was disgusted with myself that I had to fight over such a petty thing.

“So all that has made me stronger today, all this trauma in my life. There are a lot of situations, man. It’s all really brought me to this point where a strong person today but it knocks me down a little bit every time I do see the corruption and I feel weak because I am, as a single person, quite powerless to a whole system. I see it, and there’s nothing I can do about it. There’s nothing I can do about it. But it’s their loss, my gain. If somebody doesn’t see it or they don’t wanna acknowledge it, or in they’re in denial or whatever the situation is, it’s your loss, my gain, and I’m not saying like, ‘Screw you, you don’t wanna see it’ – no. I still try to help, and I feel bad ‘cause I’m still a good person at heart. I’m a good man. I sympathize, ‘cause I’m like, you know what? It’s not even their fault. They’re just type products of the government. They’re just really grew up with so much TV, with so much technology, computers – they really just don’t understand. I dunno, man.”

What have some of the low points in your life been, besides being incarcerated?

“Right now, I can’t see my son, and that’s been the lowest point because I still have yet to see my son because, unfortunately, one of my charges was a domestic charge, not against my son, of course, but his mother – and I’m not proud of that. I hate myself for that, and that’s something I can never rub off. One of my issues is I can forgive other people, but I can’t forgive myself. I can’t seem to rub that off my conscience, the fact that I put my hands on a woman. It’s the first and last time I’ll do that.

“But that sums up why I have a restraining order. It’s gonna be over in March; I’m sitting and waiting it out. I can’t wait till I can be reunited with my son, but that, out of everything, the heart. It’s all the heart, like, do to my body what you want. I mean, growing up, being thrown into hospitals and this, that, and the third, yeah, it hurt my heart a little bit, but I had no responsibilities. What does it matter to me, really? Yeah, it sucked, and I was exposed to a lot of shit I shouldn’t have seen, but out of everything, that hits my heart the most, not seeing my son and not being able to be there.

“It’s not just my body with the hospitalizations, obviously; it hurt my heart and it bucked my head up a little bit, but in comparison, I gained from all that. I became stronger from all that. I kept gaining from all of that. This situation is a little different. I’m losing. As far as my son, I’m losing. This time, I’m not getting it back. If, right now, he’s doing something funny or talking or something, how can I rewind that? I can’t get that. I mean, I guess I can come a little stronger when I move forward from this, but still, in a way, I’m losing. I dunno how to break it down.

“I wish I didn’t see the world. Sometimes I wish I was…like a lot of other people in this world. I wish I was just blind to all this stuff. I wish I was ignorant to corruption – I wish I was just blind to it; I wish I never seen it. Sometimes I feel like that, because these people walk around and it doesn’t hit their hearts. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have such a good heart. Sometimes I wish my heart was just small and I was a cold person because everything really, a lot of things, really hurt me. I wish I could look at the news and hear specific things and go along with it like everybody else.

“When they were talking about that plane that crashed in the ocean and they couldn’t find the plane, I wish I could be that person going, ‘Damn, wow, I hope they find it.’ But no – instead I’m the person who says the damn truth, how we can split an atom, we’ve been to the moon, as far as we know as civilians, and you can’t find a plane? We have had black box receivers since WWII, specifically designed for that exact scenario, which now they put in every single one, but you can’t find the plane in the ocean? You should be able to find that plane with a snap of the fingers. We have facial recognition. If I murdered somebody, and they wanted to find me? They could catch me on a facial recognition in Walmart somewhere in Arizona, and it would run through a computer and say it was me, but you can’t find…?

“Sometimes I wish I was the person who didn’t notice that. I wish I could see them unloading the cigarettes out of the back of a plain, unmarked box truck and say, ‘Oh, they’re delivering cigarettes.’ But instead I look at it like, huh, that’s how the world is right now, they have to not mark trucks because they’re afraid of people robbing trucks for cigarettes, for tobacco, which I’m a victim of – I smoke tobacco all the time. I’m highly addicted to the 700 chemicals that have no business being in a cigarette. I mean…sometimes I wish I was that guy, because believe me, it’s a lot to carry on my shoulders, to be able to look everywhere and be able to look most places, I really do see sad, sad things.

“Why can’t I say hello to a stranger, and this doesn’t hurt me personally, but where are the common courtesies in society? I grew up in a generation where there were never any common courtesies in this society, but somehow, I have morally in me, I have wisdom somehow, where I just think it’s so strange. ‘How are you doing?’ ‘Hi, how’s it going?’ Nowadays, I feel like if I say, ‘How’s it going?’ I’m gonna get a ‘Fuck you.’ Some of the looks have clearly said it.

“I asked somebody for a lighter; he just looked and gave me the dirtiest look. It wasn’t ‘Hey, you got a lighter?’ It was, ‘Excuse me, sir, do you have a light I could borrow?’ Just gave me a dirty look. I didn’t let it really bother me, but that’s another sad thing.

“Is it that person’s fault, or does that person think that if he lets me use his lighter, I’m gonna run off with it? Cause that’s neither his fault nor mine, if he thinks that. People ruin it for other people. You gotta do good, so people start to realize that it’s not all like that. When people ruin it for other people, then people lose trust in society, and without trust, you have nothing. You have no relationship without trust. You have no connection, no network, no community. You have no community, you have no society – you just have a bunch of people who think the next person is gonna stab them in the back. That’s not healthy. I wish I didn’t notice all that shit sometimes.”

What helps you cope with that situation where you are aware of those things and you feel powerless? How do you cope with that?

“I don’t believe in ‘killing with kindness’, but I believe ‘change them with kindness.’ For instance, a scenario where somebody says something rude or disrespectful – oh, perfect example! – just the other day, I’m getting on the bus, and I’m putting my bus pass into the little machine and the lady’s yelling me, ‘Just keep on moving, keep on moving! Keep going!’ And I’m like, ‘But my card is still in it. She did something and it pushed the card back up, and she’s like, ‘Hurry the fuck up. People are trying to get on the bus.’ I was like, ‘You have a beautiful day.’ I look at that like a coping skill, because I feel better about her. That’s how I deal. That’s how I cope with how somebody was acting in that situation. That’s how I coped with how she was acting, because I get a type of closure by saying that; maybe it clicks in her head – or somebody’s, in any scenario – where they can be like ‘Oh, wow, alright’ and they check themselves a little bit. ‘I was so mean to that person and they were very kind to me. I’m gonna work harder on not doing that.’ You know?

“I’m not perfect; nobody is, and if they tell you so, then you’ve definitely got a liar on your hands. I’ve been rude. I’ve lost my cool. Of course. I’m a human being, but it’s not who I am and I recognize it’s not the path to a productive society. 90% of the time, when I’m rude, or I act in some way, I get out of my character because someone else is coming at me in a type of way. It’s no excuse. It’s wrong of me. I’ve gotta check myself too, sometimes. That’s what happens to people: You become different.

“Sometimes people become sour in the pit of them because of how everybody else is around them, things you’ve gone through, and you get this ‘Aw, fuck it,’ attitude. Like I had when I was younger. I was a good dude, and I still am that person today, but everybody thought I was bad, so I thought, ‘Alright, I’ll be bad.’ You want bad? I’ll show you.

“You can’t let people change who you are, no matter what the situation, because now if I turn into a rude person or an asshole, if I give up on all these common courtesies, then the next person that’s good, a good hearted person like me, could do the same thing, and the same thing, and the same thing, and before you know it, the whole world is gonna be like that. Why would I deprive this world of how good of a person I am? Why deprive this world of something good? I ain’t ever gonna change. I have my moments; everybody does. But at the end of the day, I ain’t ever gonna change. People who know me best could tell you I got a heart of gold.

“And it’s a reverse effect, too. I wanna mention that. When people around you are acting all sour and mean, and you start to get sour and pity you, you just start to act. Now imagine the reverse: Be nice. Be respectful. Common courtesies. Whatnot. You know what to do as a person, and as a fellow neighbor, and then it’s gonna rub off on them, and then they’re gonna be happy. You help them out, they help you out, and then they start to help other people out, and then those other people pay it forward.

“It goes both ways, though. You wanna be mean and nasty to people? Most of the time, you get it back. It’s not an excuse, it’s not acceptable – I’ve been there, too, believe me it’s hard – it’s hard to be like, ‘You have a good day, too.’ Just fall back. We’re moving too quick in life. Relax. I’m talking to myself when I say that, because I’m moving too quick, and when I fall back and I relax, I can think clear and when I do all that, I’m not the person behind the wheel of the bus, rushing somebody else, being disrespectful. Maybe even just say, ‘Excuse me, could you talk to me a little bit nicer?’

“What do people think, they’re soft, just to be respectful? If you’re not respectful – you’re not tough to fight over stupid shit. You’re not a man at all – you’re not a woman at all – to fight over petty, small things. I wish I could be one of the people, sometimes, that think, ‘Oh, I’m a big, tough guy. You step on my shoe and I’m gonna –’ I don’t judge people for their backgrounds, but a lot of people say that a man who is dangerous, who would harm somebody over something small, like being in jail, there are people like, ‘Yo, don’t go near that dude. If you do one little thing wrong, he’s gonna fuck you up. He’s a real dude. He’s a real, real, official person. He’s the toughest of the tough.’

“How is that tough? How are you real? How are you a man? If somebody steps on my shoe – I can’t even imagine having an issue with that. I don’t care if they were million dollar shoes or whatnot. It was an accident. How can you be mad at somebody for an accident? If that’s the case, you might as well start smacking around a five-year-old kid when he spills milk. That’s just an example, but you can’t blame somebody for an accident. Come on. Mistakes happen. You feel me? Misunderstandings happen. Mistakes happen.

“If you make a mistake, wouldn’t you want somebody to understand? Nobody wants to get shot over accidentally scuffing somebody’s shoe. Surely their family or their mother or father doesn’t deserve to lose their child or husband or father, whatever, over something so ridiculous. You’re not tough, and I will refuse to this day to fight out here in the world.

“Believe me, when you’re locked in a 4 x 8 cell, and you’ve got a grown-ass man trying to fight you, it doesn’t matter if it’s because you used his pen without asking or how petty it is, it’s an whole different environment, a whole different world in there.

“Out here in the world, you’re not gonna let somebody just beat you up. You can walk away from that. You don’t have to do it. You’re not proving nothing. There’s a lot of people out there like me that look at that kind of stuff and look at you like you’re an idiot. Why do you want to find over that stuff? What kind of insecurity do you have in you that you have to protect your pride or something? It’s over my head; it’s past me, and it’s out of my control. I want to change something that in reality isn’t realistic by myself. I need other people in this society to just get along. It makes me so mad. It really makes me sick.

“Just slow down for a minute and listen and look. Listen to a lot of music and how a lot of things the music says is subliminally telling you things about this system. I’ll quote Eminem. He said, “So who do you thinks bringing guns in this country? I couldn’t get a plastic pellet gun through customs in London.” What do you think that really says? It’s true. Who do you think’s bringing the drugs in this country, the guns? Who do you think is doing this? What do you think a project really is? What do you think that experiment is and why do you think they act the way they act? Why do you think the ignorance thrives the way it does? The disease and STDs and drugs and gangs, why do you think it’s like that? It’s literally a project. Why do you think these little areas are so different from each other, cause they’re close knit, little – I don’t wanna get into all that. But open your eyes and look at a lot of things, you’re gonna see stuff that you might wish you didn’t see. Sometimes I wish I didn’t see it, but still, I’m glad I do, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t know to be ashamed of myself or that I’m an idiot; I’d think I was a genius, whatever. I’d be blind.

“I still smoke cigarettes, though, and I know these things are bad, but you know what? I don’t know what chemicals they put in these things, but let me tell you, it’s good stuff. It’s really addicting.”

What have you learned about yourself through these years of experiences you’ve had?

“First, I wanna apologize – I just feel like I can’t talk a lot, like I ramble on and I talk too much.”

Don’t apologize for that. I’d be willing to bet that you probably don’t have very many people in your life who are willing to sit down and listen.

“Yeah. Well, they’re not like me, really. They do listen, but they kinda think it’s crazy stuff; they don’t really see it the way I see it. They’re good people, and they’re nice people, and I consider them good people – they just don’t see it like I see it, but they’re not ignorant and they try to understand. But what was it that you asked?”

What have you learned about yourself over the years?

“I’ve learned that I’m… Hm. I learned that I can’t just drink one drink of alcohol, and for some reason, if I drink, I just have to keep drinking, and I’m an alcoholic. I really am. That’s an important thing that I’ve learned.

“I’ve learned that – that’s a tough question. I learned about myself. I think that I’ve hurt the people closest to me because I feel like it’s safest because I felt like they would never leave, and that’s not right. I’ve definitely learned that about myself. My depression and things throughout my life and issues get channeled and filtered out onto them over other things that really otherwise don’t have to do with them. So, learning that with myself, I can have more understanding for a lot of society and how they act, and it makes it easier to forgive them and understand where they’re coming from.

“I learned I can’t really be anybody other than who I am. I can’t, no matter how much I try, man. I can’t be anybody other than who I am, as much as I’ve tried to do so. I’m still adaptable – I can adapt to things, but at the same time, I’m not changing who I really am. I’m just adapting to certain situations or places or people, but I’m never gonna be somebody other than me, no matter how much somebody wants me to be somebody else, or no matter how much I wish to be somebody else. It don’t work like that.

“I learned how precious time is. Time is so precious; it’s the most precious thing we have, because you can never get it back. You can never go back. I wanna cry, yo, that shit drives me crazy. But you can’t. So once you go there, better yet, before you go there, remember you can’t turn it back. You can’t turn it back.

“Words hurt, too. That’s one thing I learned. Words hurt more than anything physical done. Words hurt the most because you could say something that you don’t even mean, but once you say it, it hurts the person just as much as if you meant it. You can hurt somebody so badly, but words don’t only hurt the other person – they hurt you too, because if you don’t mean the things you say, then the other person feels, no matter how much you say you don’t mean what you said, it still hurts, man. It still hurts. And that’s the most confusing, hurtful feeling when you hurt somebody else with your words and then you didn’t mean it. No taking it back. Once they’re out there, they’re out there. I dunno, man, this shit’s hard.”

If you could back as the man that you are today and say something to your younger self before a lot of this stuff happened, what would you say to that young man? To that boy?

“Wow. That’s a tough one. I would say to him – I really don’t know, because there are contradictions in what I could say to him. By that I mean: what I would say isn’t gonna change the fact that – I’d say focus on – take one day at a time. Don’t overthink things. Don’t think too far into the future. Just relax, and know that nothing is permanent. The pain is not permanent. Just focus on your health, mental and physical, and honestly, I’m not too sure that’s a very difficult question. I don’t know what I would say.”

Would you tell him you loved him?

“Yeah, I would tell him I loved him, ‘cause I love myself. Stop. Don’t take things to heart. Don’t take everything to heart. But still, that’s a difficult question. I’m not sure how I would answer it, or if I can.”

Is there a quote or lyric or something that someone’s ever said to you that resonates with you that you’d like to share?

“Yes, there is. The quote is, ‘Just ‘cause it means nothing to you doesn’t mean that it doesn’t mean the world to somebody else.’”

What does that mean to you?

“It means: have consideration for how other people feel, because though they might feel a certain way about something and it doesn’t click with you or mean anything to you, understand that, to them, it means everything. Just an example – your work that you do, I could look at like – which I don’t – but I could look at it and say it doesn’t really mean anything to me. It’s no big deal. It’s nothing.

“But this is your calling. This is your life. This is your passion. So I would never insult that because I hypothetically felt like that just ‘cause I didn’t see the importance in it. To you, it’s everything. I’m not gonna say something like that and potentially break your heart and make you feel a type of way about your entire life.

“When it means everything, there are a lot of things in my life I’ve been told and I didn’t think anything of it. Don’t do this, don’t do that. Blah blah blah. It didn’t mean anything to me. I shrugged it off, this, that, and the third. But now I realize how important that was to the other person, the simplest things.

“And you’re gonna feel real bad if you say something to somebody just ‘cause you don’t see it like that, and that person is somebody that you love, and you don’t see it the way they see it, you’re gonna really regret it for the rest of your life if you hurt them enough for them to up and leave. Then you’re gonna be sitting there like, “But why? But why?”

“Why? Because you’re not understanding that this means the world to somebody. It doesn’t mean something to you? That doesn’t matter. People have pets that mean the world to them, but then people have pets that they beat. There’s a big difference there. I could talk badly about something that somebody would die for. Maybe they’d kill for. Maybe I’m talking badly about something that somebody would kill for, and it just means nothing to me, but they would kill for it, and I end up getting killed.

“I’m talking about real stuff, though, not materialistic things, because I want to make sure there’s no misunderstanding in thinking there’s a contradiction, because believe me – cause I talked about stepping on somebody’s shoe and getting shot – but there are contradictions everywhere, and misunderstandings, and corruption, but at the same time, it’s just different. I’m not gonna say, ‘Oh it means the world to me that you’re my slave. It means the world to me that you do everything.’ That’s manipulating and taking advantage, and you can easily do that, but it’s different. I could say it means the world to me when you do this and I say to do that and this and that and that, and if you don’t want to, then, you know, I’m done. The person doesn’t have to understand that or anything.

“I think I over-explain things. I have put so many years into thinking about this stuff and been through so much to be privileged enough to see this type of stuff that I don’t think people don’t understand – but they do understand – so I try to break it down. I over-explain it. I explain it more than I really should, but I think that it’s clear what I’m saying.”

When I was taking your photograph when we started this interview, you showed me some scars on your chest, and you have some on other places of your body. Do you want to tell me about those?

“Yeah. I’ve got these when I was in jail. The breakup was really hard and I was going through a lot, and it was really painful. I didn’t ever wanna forget where I was and what I was going through, and what happened to me, and the hurt, so I cut into my chest ‘Love’ on one side and “Hate” on the other, and then a heart in the middle that was split, that had a cut down the middle, that was dripping blood between the ‘Love’ and the ‘Hate.’ Just so I could always remember that pain, and I could grow from it, but also so I could remember to not allow anybody to put me there, put me through that pain again – which isn’t healthy, I know. It wasn’t healthy to do; it was just my release at the time.

“I also put this on my hand. I have a scar that I just loved the person so much that I carved their name into me, so it would be forever, ‘cause it felt like a scar is forever. I could get a tattoo, but there’s a reason it’s a scar. There’s a reason. It’s not just a tattoo, even though a tattoo is essentially a scar. Literally, when I say this, it’s literal, but imagine it metaphorically: this person is engraved into my body, cut into me, a part of me, but it’s not just a metaphor, it’s literal. I do like tattoos, though. I plan on getting a lot in the future.”

Do you still cut today? Do you cut just for the purpose of cutting to relieve pain, or is it always some sort of name or word or design?

“No. When I have cut, it’s always been a name, word, or design, but to date, no, I haven’t cut anything into me. I realize it’s kinda unhealthy and whatnot. I don’t know if I’d ever do it again. Maybe. It depends. It’s very unique, serious situations where it’s not meaningless. If I had tattoos all over my body… If I have cuts all over me – I do have cuts all over me, not all from me, though, like scars. If I had names and random stuff all over me, it would be meaningless. The fact that there have only been three times in my life where I’ve done three different things: One was for my uncle Frank, FB for Frank Beretta.

“This right here, on my hand, which I’m not gonna name, just to be safe – my uncle Frank is different. They’re cool. They’re family – this, because I love the person so much. This was not all pain, not unhappy, not depressed. This was because the one that I loved – aside from my family, obviously – my ex-fiancé, my son’s mother, she really, really hurt me. Bad. And I didn’t wanna forget how she hurt me, and I didn’t wanna let myself forget it, because I had made that mistake before and didn’t want to make it again.

“The love is really crazy sometimes, and it’s hard to deal with. To this day, I have not been with anybody else since I met her three and a half years ago. I don’t know why I can’t really move or do anything or be with anyone else. I don’t think I’ll stay single for the rest of my life; that’s not realistic. I can’t imagine doing that.

“But there’s a good example of how passionate, how big my heart is, how serious I take things. I’m loyal. I’ve been loyal even when I’m not with the person still. I love her. I’ve had girls hit on my sometimes, obviously, like I’m not an ugly dude. I consider myself a handsome guy. And my son’s mother is gorgeous, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life to date. She does modeling stuff. So as much as I could have insecurities – people growing up calling me ugly for some reason and stuff – they all stopped when they realized the prettiest girl – that’s my opinion I guess – but one of the most beautiful girls in the world – if you ever seen her, you’d know what I’m saying – actually thinks I’m handsome and attractive, and thinks I’m a good person as well.

“So clearly what I’m saying is I’m not dirt ugly and I’m not a bad person; it’s not about looks anyway. It’s about who you are on the inside. As good of a person as I am, I’ve had girls hit on me and stuff, but I never entertained it. Just not ready, I guess.”

How has it felt to talk about these feelings and experiences with me today?

“It feels good to talk about it. It definitely feels good to talk about it. It feels better, I guess, but something I never really talk about. I feel good because I’m able to help you further your work, and maybe I can help somebody else. Hopefully I can help somebody else. I just wish or want or whatever the word would be – people to know that it’s not – one, I’m not a bad person, even though I felt like I was ‘cause everybody else told me I was. Other people aren’t really bad people just because people say they are or whatnot.

“I dunno. It feels good I guess. People are still gonna think I’m a bad person. People are still gonna do what they do – be judgmental and say shit – but what can I say? They’re entitled to however they want to feel. They feel how they feel; they think what they think, whether it’s based off of nothing or one thing, and then they think they have you completely figured out. That’s it. But you’ll never completely figure out somebody else. You’ll never have somebody else completely figured out no matter how much you know them, and you know yourself pretty well, I imagine, and you can never really know yourself. So how can you judge yourself or anybody else? See, what I’ve said in this, if you read into it, it’s not so much I’m judging other people. I just see these small issues that are only leading toward bigger things, and they’re not really flaws in the person, exactly, but flaws in society and our idea of productivity. It’s to help. Call it constructive criticism, or whatever you want. My goal is not call anybody an asshole, or this, that, and the third, or call anybody ignorant; it’s just to show little character traits, even in myself, giving examples in my own stories, where we need to work on this stuff, ‘cause we’re screwed if we don’t.”