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#like oh noes I called someone a stupid fat bitch....in my head.... that I don't even agree with 90% of the time
rancidarling
·
2 years
Text
must my brain sound like an edgy incel chronically online gamer that screams slurs into the mic when they lose a Fortnite match -_-
#like whenever I'm
#idk ig splitting would be the right term here
#every thought just becomes a violent stew of slurs and view points that I don't normally have otherwise
#got nothing against fat people but if I'm splitting on one
#you best believe my thoughts are gonna revolve around every generic fatphobic insult you've ever heard
#even though I literally don't even agree with any of it....
#goes for literally anything you can discriminate against too
#honestly it feels pretty gross
#and gets pretty weird when it's like... demeaning against women... when I'm also...a woman
#like good job brain you insulted yourself in the process
#I guess these are like intrusive thoughts in a way?
#idk the racist ones in particular just feel really gross
#like did I REALLY just think that? for real? girl who ARE you
#I know not to take it too seriously bc 1. thought crimes aren't real and
#2. if the switch hadn't flipped and I wasn't temporarily upset with that individual
#I wouldn't think a single discriminatory thing about them. I wouldn't be vehemently insulting them and cussing them out with vitriol
#it's just 'oh I hate you now' *cue an endless steam of random swearing and slurs and discrimination and violent feelings of hatred*
#and then back to 'oh you're cool I love you again' with a 'what the actual fuck was i just thinking??'
#...... I can't believe these are my moral standards of gross
#like oh noes I called someone a stupid fat bitch....in my head.... that I don't even agree with 90% of the time
#I never say any of this out loud at least. thank the stars I know how to hold my tongue
#r.r
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