#like my convos are me just on a mad scramble to find something anything even mildly interesting to say and not abt like communicating what I

[barricadebops]

For the prompts post, if it's possible to choose two, how about Fluff number 3 and Misc number 4 for Enjoltaire? And if not, you can choose the one you want. Also, your writing is amazing ❤

"Have you seen my hoodie?" "Nooooo..." "You're wearing it, aren't you?"/"Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!"

I split up the first prompt part in different places, I hope that's okay?

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It started on a stormy day, hard rain and thunder crashing down upon the pavement, battering down on houses, the crack of lightning as if a whip across the sky, like Zeus's masterbolt, like how Grantaire had told him about, the--

Well, this much description was hardly necessary, really. But Enjolras supposed the thought was influenced by the constant poetic Jehan is constantly waxing. Forgive him for taking the time to listen to his friends.

But, for simplicity's sake, it started on a rainy day.

In foresight, it perhaps would have served better if Enjolras told Grantaire it would be raining on the day that he suggested they go out for a picnic, but the sparkle in his eyes had been too bright for Enjolras to break it to him. Besides, the weather forecast he listened to was wrong half the time (and honestly now that he considers it, he really should change which weather station he listens to.)

Unfortunately, this one time, the weather forecast had been correct, and right as they finished laying a blanket to sit upon, the first drops of rain that Enjolras had tried hard to ignore morphed into a battering of rain as the sky suddenly gave way to grey and thunder rumbled the ground.

From there it was a mad dash to the car, but even the little time spent in the car had them both soaked to the bone.

So much for a picnic.

And yet, as they got back to Grantaire's place and stumbled through the doorframe into his apartment, Grantaire was laughing brightly as the sun that they had hoped to see that day, and Enjolras simply couldn't find it in himself to be upset when hearing such a delightful sound. In the past, he had heard Grantaire chuckle bitterly or let out bursts of drunk laughs not appropriate for the moment, but this was one that warmed him from his chest down to the tips of his toes despite the chill of the rain soaking through to his skin.

Courfeyrac would likely say Enjolras' affections are blinding him. And they were, considering Grantaire's laughs were loud and gruff, hardly the stuff of dreamy sighs, but one in love remains impervious to such truths. Something Marius would likely say, but hey doesn't mean it's wrong. That Marius is a good fellow, Enjolras wondered if he can perhaps persuade Courfeyrac to bring him back to the Musain.

But at the current moment, he had just returned from a steaming shower and grimaced a little as he stared at the clothes a little. They would all dangle off of his lither, shorter form as compared to Grantaire's; it wasn't as if he wasn't used to it. Most of the clothes he's ever had to borrow in the past have been considerably bigger than him, but it was always just the slightest bit a hassle to have to roll up the sleeves and the legs of the pants so he doesn't go tripping and falling and breaking an arm (that last comment is a true story--just ask Combeferre. Or maybe not. He burned that pair of pants after he was distraught about Enjolras sustaining an injury from it. Courfeyrac was delighted. Not from Enjolras injuring himself of course, from the whole burning thing. It rather reminded him of that time he burned one of Charles de Gaulle's speeches in the fireplace.)

Whatever the case, he did have to roll up the sweatpants, but the shirt was short sleeved and fine, if but a bit baggy on himself.

But it was the hoodie that made things a lot better.

In truth, it wasn't even in the folded pile of clothes Grantaire gave him. It sat on the rack of clothing, but Grantaire never minded when he borrowed clothes, and how could he resist. It was his favourite. He never actually had the opportunity to wear it himself, of course, but he had seen it on Grantaire a number of times, and he allowed himself one indulgent inhale of its forest green fabric before he slipped it on and nearly laughed at the proportion of the hoodie to himself--it nearly reached knees, but if anything, he saw it as a good thing. The day was chilly, and the hoodie was warm and soft. Yes, this was definitely his favourite.

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"Did you trip and break your arm again?" he heard Grantaire ask as he reentered the living room. He was searching through his collection of DVDs on the carpet, but at the sound of Enjolras going "Very funny," he looked up, his eyebrows furrowing for a moment and his mouth opening for a few seconds before closing. "That's my hoodie."

Enjolras raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Grantaire all of these clothes are yours."

Grantaire blinked. "Wait. Yes. Yes they are."

He laughed before plopping himself down beside him on the carpet, leaning against the back of the sofa until Grantaire draped an arm around his shoulders and drew him to lean against his broad chest.

"And where did you find the hoodie, huh?" he heard him mumble into his hair.

He hummed. "Your shelf."

"And who gave you permission?"

He froze. "Oh. I'm sorry, I thought you would be okay with it, I can give it back--" he moved to take the hoodie off, but the arm around his shoulders tightened.

"I was joking, Enjolras, I don't need you to take it off, God, I'm not a brute." He felt himself moved to lean more comfortably against Grantaire. "Besides, it looks nice on you."

He rolled his eyes. "You once said I would look good in a potato sack, but I'll chalk it up to you being drunk."

"Being drunk is exactly how you get every truth out--"

"Grantaire," he sighed exasperatedly, but not without a smile. He burrowed in deeper and contented himself to relishing in the warmth provided by both the hoodie and Grantaire himself, Grantaire's breath ruffling his hair.

As he sat there, watching Grantaire sift through all sorts of movies, he couldn't help but agree.

Yes. Yes, the hoodie did look good on him.

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Grantaire was almost done packing, and as always, just like everyone else, he was scrambling around the apartment, throwing things into his bag that he thought of last minute.

He watched Grantaire threw open his closet for the fifteenth time in the last five minutes and silently wondered what he was searching for. Enjolras kicked his legs off from where they hung, too short to reach the ground where he sat on a high chair.

"Have you seen my hoodie?" he asked at last, reemerging from the depths of his closet.

Enjolras snorted. "You're going to have to be more specific than that. You own quite a few hoodies."

Grantaire ran a hand through his curls. "The dark green one."

Enjolras pursed his lips and hoped his admission of guilt didn't show in his eyes as he thinks about the aforementioned hoodie sitting back in his closet, hidden away from the prying eyes of Courfeyrac--something to hold onto before Grantaire leaves for four months on his art tour. "Um. Noooo..."

The way he trails off, however, is definitely enough to rouse the suspicions of anyone who has even the slightest bit of sense to know when something's off. And for a second, Enjolras thinks that Grantaire, clever as he is, has detected it too, for there's a strange look in his eyes when he stares at Enjolras, but ultimately, he shakes off whatever it was he was thinking about, shrugs, and says "okay," and heads back to packing frantically.

He doesn't resume looking for the hoodie, though.

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It had been a few weeks, and they're no stranger to Skyping. With Grantaire's art having recently grown ever more popular, he's left before on tours and exhibitions.

He's never left for quite so long, however, and though they don't yet live together, Enjolras still misses his presence in Paris.

And it was time, eventually, that led to his slip.

For all his Skype convos with Grantaire, had had never once donned the hoodie that he now wore freely around the apartment, regardless of Courfeyrac's teasing and Combeferre's insistence that he would only end up giving himself a heat stroke. It was especially important that he wear it on those days when he felt especially lonely, when Combeferre had an extra long shift at the hospital, and Courfeyrac was made to stay longer on accounts that a lawyer had to "make their way up through hard work when they first start off" and Grantaire was miles away in Croatia and all Enjolras is left at home with is a stack of papers to mark and a wish that someone was there to maybe hold him and make him feel not quite so empty inside.

So the hoodie was of vital importance. But it never came on during their Skype sessions. Grantaire could never know. What would he say when he saw that Enjolras had lied to him that day, that he actually did know where the hoodie was, and that he took it? He could never know.

And Enjolras had been so careful. He thought he was doing well. But on this particular night he came home exhausted after a lengthy and quite frankly irritating meeting with the principle on advocating for more funding to the school's arts programs, and he was simply much too tired to realize that when he changed at home, he threw on the hoodie and sat in front of the screen, waiting, as always, for the call to come through.

And there it was, there was that face he had missed so dearly, with a grin that seemed to lift even the smallest bit of exhaustion from his shoulders and let him breathe a little easier, a grin that softened into something gentler at the sight of the way Enjolras seemed so tired this night.

At first, the conversation was as it always was; moments to share, repeated I miss yous, and of course, the bickering that stemmed from concern. Enjolras let his guard down. He hadn't been paying enough attention. Not, until, Grantaire had started again--

"By the way," Grantaire said abruptly. "I never did find my hoodie. And that one you have on right now looks kind of familiar, don't you-- shit Enj, are you okay?"

He asked because Enjolras had toppled off the chair quite unceremoniously in his haste to get off screen. The hoodie! He looked down in horror at what he was wearing. Of course Grantaire recognized it, that was his hoodie! The one Enjolras hid from him before he left!

"Enj?" he heard from the laptop screen.

Well how would he face him now?

"Enj, are you okay? I'm kind of getting worried here."

Well there was nothing to do now. Throwing off the hoodie would only cause more suspicion. So with a red face, he made his way back up on his chair and muttered, "I'm fine."

Grantaire looked flabbergasted. "What's wrong?"

He let his eyes flit briefly into his. "Nothing."

"Is this about the hoodie?" Grantaire asked, amused.

He bit his cheek.

"You're wearing it, aren't you?" he heard him say, voice smug.

He buried his head in his hands. "Yes."

Grantaire's laugh, loud and bold, rang through the screen, and Enjolras was quite confused to say the least. Why wasn't he pissed? "I fucking knew I didn't just lose it. Joly gave me hell when he heard I left without it, told me I was always losing stuff--"

"Aren't you mad?" he blurted out. Grantaire's face turned confused for a moment before he let out another burst of laughter.

"Why the fuck would I be mad?"

He waved his hands in a frenzy. "Because I took your hoodie! Because I lied to you when you asked me where your hoodie was! Now you're stuck without a hoodie in Zagreb--"

"Zagreb's pretty warm actually--"

"And you were left wondering all this time where it was when I knew all along! Why aren't you pissed?"

Grantaire looked both amused and bemused. "It's really not that big a deal, you know. Although, I mean you don't have to steal it, you could just ask to borrow it. Or to keep it if you're so fond of it."

He bit his lip. He still felt guilty. "Still..."

Through the screen, his boyfriend squinted and shook his head gingerly. "You're overthinking things again, Enj. I'm not mad just because you took a hoodie, though I'll admit it would be nice if you just asked next time. I think everyone knows I wouldn't say no to you for something like this." He paused for a second before cracking a grin. "Besides, I already knew the hoodie was with you before this. Courfeyrac sent me a picture of you sleeping in it."

Enjolras hoped the thought of his plan to eat all of Courfeyrac's baking chocolate chips in front of him while he stood helplesssly as revenge for this wasn't showing too clearly on his face. Which he probably didn't have to worry about considering even he could feel how heated and red his cheeks had blazed.

"Sorry," he muttered again with embarassment.

Grantaire quirked an eyebrow. "I just told you I'm not mad." His voice softened, "Besides, like I said before--it looks good on you." This last part, this at least, was able to wring a genuine smile from Enjolras.

He pulled the hoodie tighter around himself. "I miss you," he admitted softly.

Grantaire gave him a gentle smile. "I know, Enj. I miss you too."

They remained silent for a minute, soakihg up the bit of presence online meets allowee before Enjolras cleared his throat and asked, "So what are you wearing overtop at the hotels if not your hoodie?"

"Hm? Oh I bought a new hoodie. From a store when I was in Madrid."

A new hoodie he says? That detail... Well... it was quite interesting to Enjolras...

---------------------------------------------------

When Grantaire finally came back, after months of touring, Enjolras vowed to spend the entire night and then well into the next day, in his arms.

And he did. He allowed himself to burrow deep in his chest and take a greedy inhale of his clothing, lingering with his scent, and drift off to sleep peacefully, satisfied after having his fill of the news of the success of Grantaire's art.

It was the next day, that his mind cleared a little enough of the excitement and euphoria that had clouded it the previous day, enough for him now to be able to realize that he'd never seen the cloth that Grantaire now donned, where Enjolras was now watching him put away the last of his dishes in the sink from where he was sitting on the table. He beckoned him closer, Grantaire coming to stand in front of him, lightly skimming his fingers over Enjolras' hips.

"What's this?" he asked as he tugged a bit at the cloth of the new black hoodie Grantaire wore.

"It's just the new hoodie I bought."

He pondered for a minute. "Have you worn it yet?"

Grantaire frowned. "Well, yeah, when I was back at the hotels and done for the day I--"

"I want it."

Grantaire blinked. "What--"

"I want it. Your hoodie. I want it."

With a laugh, Grantaire shook his head. "You already stole one of my hoodies, Enj, this--"

"I want this one too."

Grantaire stared at him in amused disbelief. "Are you going to steal all my clothes?"

"Yes."

Raising an eyebrow, Grantaire smirked and said, "You can't have this one."

So, really, he brought it on himself when Enjolras climbed a chair and launched hinself through the air at him.

"What the fuck!"

They both crashed to the ground as Enjolras landed atop him and tugged at the cloth. "Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!"

"Enj, holy shit--"

They went rolling on the carpeted floor until Enjolras managed to rip the hoodie out of Grantaire's hands, jumping up and throwing it on himself.

On the ground, Grantaire groaned.

Enjolras pursed his lips. "I thank you for your valuable contribution," he said seriously, before cracking the smile he had been trying so hard to hold back.

Grantaire huffed. "Well, you stole my old hoodie. You stole my new hoodie--"

"That's because they smell like you!" Enjolras interjected distressedly, unable to figure out why Grantaire wasn't aware of this.

"--Do you think maybe you could at least give me a hand?"

Rolling up the dangling sleeves, he reached a hand to clasp Grantaire's own and made to tug, only to feel himself tugged down atop Grantaire's broad chest. He yelped as he fell, Grantaire laughing as he wrapped arms around his waist, holding him close.

This time, Enjolras huffed. "What's this for?"

Grantaire hummed. "Payment. If you're going to take my hoodies, you're going to pay for them."

He raised an eyebrow. "In injuries?"

He got an eyeroll in return. "In cuddles."

"Well don't you think that would maybe be a better idea if we weren't on the ground?"

"Yes, but consider this: I'm too comfortable to get up."

Enjolras huffed once more, but burrowed further into Grantaire's chest anyways.

All in all, not a terrible price to pay.

[tomyideaofyou]

YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND,

I have probably been avoiding the day that I would post something about you here. I guess that’s because I don’t want to face the chance that things would change between us after I express everything I feel for our friendship.

But maybe we do need change, and maybe it is time to let out what I need to.

You already know this by now, but I gave up on friendships with girls a long time ago, for several reasons - most you are aware of. 

Our friendship was so unexpected. But it was one of those pleasant unexpected events that I’m very thankful for. I mean, who would’ve thought that going after a fuckboi could result in meeting someone who would change your life, forever?

I did not like you at all. I thought you were going after said fuckboi, so naturally - you were a threat. Not to mention that I thought it was so weird that you wanted to shower at my house when it was our first time actually meeting. Like, who does that? haha. I thought you were naturally pretty, and you had “okay” make-up skills that are now A1, thanks to me, lol. But- you were definitely really nice, friendly, and funny. I vibed with ya.

I guess we really got close after reading comprehension boy broke my heart, lol. You were there for me, more than anyone and more than I expected. My two other “best friends” (totally making a post about them later on), were of no help, but rather, caused my love life to scramble into pieces, but whatever.

But even before the heartbreak, I guess there was this comfortable aura that welcomed me into opening up to you. I was probably too damn real with you at some points of the early friendship. Even though you don’t really talk, or know how to give advice, lol, you definitely know how to listen and attempt to feel what I am feeling. I appreciated that.

I remember we would see each other a lot, facetime a lot, phone call a lot, text a lot, and snap a lot. Sometime in the beginning of 2017, our friendship was kinda just chillin, school was really busy and I was going through - whatever I was going through at the time. But we had a talk sometime before your birthday, about how I felt.

I guess, touching base on that, from what I remember, I just felt disconnected towards you. I felt like we didn’t know how to act around each other anymore, and there was just so much happening in both of our lives that we just- spaced out. And that’s fine, like you have your friends and I have mine, but I missed my best friend. I also was worried about what direction your life was going. I may not know how your family situations felt, but I saw what toll that took on you. I saw the stress with balancing school and work, and I saw the pain that a dumbass dj caused you too. So, as always, I put my personal feelings aside and I just wanted to offer you advice and insight that I love you, I’m here for you, and I hope I can help in any way that I can.

I thought the talk went well. We got closer again, you left for the Philippines. I guess I didn’t really bother to check up on you as much because I really wanted you to find yourself during your time there. I also wanted you to just be with your family and disconnect from all the damn drama, pressures, and stress back here.. because you deserve a break. You deserve to relax and enjoy yourself, with yourself. When you came back, I was so happy to know that you had eye-openers. I really felt like you changed.

We were close again - you, being a little too close and clingy LOL. But I loved it! Even though that was my busiest time of the year with everything going on in my life. I was at least happy that you were back, and back to being all best friend mode, haha.

During summer I introduced you to whipped cream. Now, please note that I’m not blaming him, you, or anyone else for the current feelings I have regarding our friendship.

I wasn’t super planning the idea of you and whipped cream dating, in fact, drummer boy told me that whipped cream wasn’t even supposed to go that day we all went to eat at Ninong’s. He was actually even complaining that he had to be home, and why I would bring someone else to brunch that he didn’t know, and blah blah blah. But little did he know- I changed his life LMFAO, I changed yours too haha.

But anyways, I love whipped cream . I love whipped cream for you because he’s honestly such a genuine, loving guy, and I think that if there’s anyone in the entire world, besides me, that needs a good guy - it’s you. You deserve so much love, so much care, so much attention - you don’t even know how important your happiness to me is. Like honestly, your importance to me is no match to how whipped cream feels for you- trust me on that. Like,,,, he loves you but I DEFINITELY love you more lmfao.

Anyways, I guess it was cool in the beginning, but then you kinda started fading. I mean I was definitely into something with drummer boy at the time - but I still knew my priorities. Now, you’re kinda just gone. In a way I can say that I feel like you replaced our friendship with a lot of whipped cream things- and other things.

I just kinda feel like, cool - you got a love life now, what about your best friend?Also- cool you got a mom being a mom... but, who was there for you when your love-life was into shits, your friends were friends but also out of control and broken, your grades were just bye lmfao, work was annoying, and your family was just ruining your life? Me.

You make time for him. He asks for a day to be reserved- you reserve it. When I ask you for even a few hours off of your day, you give me excuses upon excuses upon excuses to the point where it feels like- you’re too busy and can’t hang out for whatever reason because it’s me. But with everyone else, especially whipped cream , it’s fine.

That hurts, a lot.

Lately- I’ve been trying to find even the smallest ways to come see you- studying, after church, or during service, or anytime I’m in the valley- but its still “I have this,” “My family will be mad,” “oh jk I think I have this.” But I see your snapchats, your locations, and I always see you with HIM.

Likeeeeeee, the night we all came back from Disneyland, he told us that ya’ll went to the bank or whatever to help him with his financial stuff and you told him to not tell me that you guys were together after Canada Sugar Momma gave you a talk that “its all about whipped cream all of a sudden.” like really? That made me so mad, because what the fuck lmfao? 

So do note that me typing all of this, I kinda do expect you to not tell me anything anymore because of the fact that you did ^^^^^^ that. Which then will result to a filtered friendship, no.

And can you name a time where we actually hung out, just the two of us without whipped cream or without anyone else? Fucking last year- bitch LOL. 

So anyways, let’s take whipped cream out of the situation. I totalllllllly get that you’re busy, so am I. Trust me. I totally get that you have family issues, so do I. I totally get that you have financial issues, so do I. SOOOOOO, how come, I can still offer and promise, and work around my schedule to make time to drive to see you in the valley? You know before, we would take turns. You’d drive to me a good equal amount, I’d drive to you. Now it’s just like, I’m in the area- I’m willing to ditch church stuff to spend at least an hour or two to see you - but then the excuses show up. So I invite you to our church events, but who do you cling onto more - whipped cream .

***Side note to loud big rack girl, dude she’s fun. I can tell how much fun ya’ll have with each other- and that’s cool, but I know damn well before (maybe not now), you would helllllalalalallaaaaa clear your schedule for any parties or plans with her. So it’s like, okay cool- am I not too fucked up and reckless to have a day with you?*** 

Back to whipping cream over here - I don’t say any of that, because I know you’re happy and I know he makes you happy. I am genuinely happy for the both of you - but I also want to be happy for us two. 

I don’t really want to dive into the whole fuckboi and airhead situation- because we already spoke about it in person, and I understand where you’re coming from. So, whatever, but I also felt like that whole thing took a toll on us to, and made me feel a little negativity towards you. But it’s fine - there’s nothing I can really do about that haha.

Bottom line is, I can feel our friendship falling apart. I’m not saying it’s all you - because to be honest it’s on the both of us. I’m not sure what concerns you have in regards to my end- but I am more than willing and wanting to hear how you feel. 

As for me, I just miss you. I miss the old us. I missed it when you had a boyfriend- even before he broke your trust- but you still took the time to see me and hang out. I miss our girl dates. I miss our lesbian moments. I miss the facetiming. I miss the sleep overs. I miss the snapchats. I miss being your best friend. 

I love you, I really do. Even with all of this, I want to be in your life- and I want to keep you in mine as my best friend, forever. But it just sucks having to deal with feeling like, my time and efforts towards you can be easily neglected by an excuse that you don’t use on others - and I can literally see you not use on others.

I’m sorry if I seem selfish, I’m sorry if all of this is like out of nowhere, but you’re still my best friend and I still want to remain honest between us. But honestly, I just don’t really want to try anymore. If you’ve noticed- I don’t really start the convo first like before. Last week, I’ve come to a conclusion that I’m going to stop trying to make plans with you because I’m fed up with the rejection and the excuses and it’s just a slap to the face when I see that you’re out and having fun with whoever. It’s like cool, you can make time for them but not me- that’s nice.

And trust me, I don’t show it to you, but sometimes its a hella strain to even drive out there just to see you, I’ve cancelled shit and I’ve sacrificed input from my family as well. No one is really busy - you just have to see how important you are in their life for them to find time for you. But you see, when it comes to you, I don’t need to think twice - because you do not deserve an excuse, and I’d never be too busy or too stressed, or too scared to cross anyone if it meant spending time with you.

And I wish you did the same too. 

Wherever it goes from here, whatever you feel after this - I’ll accept. But I’d love a response from you, whenever you’re ready. And me being me, I’m always understanding to when your time comes. :)

I love you, and I thank you for absolutely everything. You’re such a blessing, and I will always outweigh the good over the bad- because there’s nothing really bad that I can say about you, as a person. You’re the rawest person I know, with the purest heart- and I always pray that one day- You will love yourself the way you love others, because you deserve the best and you give the best.