#like in ep 64 at the end when she was like 'ugh why do i have to help spinel' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

survivor-tierradelfuego · 4 years ago

Text

Ep. 13: “I just want to bury my head in a mountain of blankets and sleep.” - Sarah

Najwah

Well, that was shit. I feel as though I really tried to get Amy to vote with us but Pedro wanted to get her out so everyone just decided to write her name down too. Also, she basically used my name as a decoy too. And I used Maddison as a decoy too so she could flush Olivia's idol. It worked. I had my superidol at the ready too. I feel like this game is just going to get more insane from here on out. We are so little people in the game. So close and yet I'm content with just being here. In the final seven. This feels good. I'm glad Pedro is with us and I wish we had gotten him on board a while back. We haven't told anyone else about our idol and superidol yet. I wonder if Amy really gave Pedro the fake idol lmao that would be hilarious. Anyway. I'm just going to carry on playing I guess. Amy had crazy big plans and I loved them but I felt like her allegiance to Maddison ruined our common goal. I wish she'd just been on board with us voting Maddison like she wanted to when we voted Grae out. That's when it all started. That's when we were causing waves in the game without anyone even knowing. Sigh. I wish things could have been different.

Olivia A

So it looks like Maddison and I got Pedro to agree to work with us!! This is very very exciting. We can get Aimee to flip easily (even though she does keep going back on that promise) and have a majority. Assuming it goes as planned, Maddison and I will then have our pick of who to go to the final 3 with (Aimee or Pedro). I have felt 100% solid with Maddison from day 1 and we have made every single decision together. I don’t wanna be at the final 3 with anyone but her.

Aimee

All Maddison had to do was play her idol on Amy and Cody would of went home. Maddison was scared that Old Hanuha was lying to me again and that those 3 were voting Maddison and Pedro and I would be left out and vote Amy. I wanted to put Cody’s down but I knew it would of been rocks, four versus four vote.

Dang I wish I would of known about the idol sooner so I could of had Old Hanuha put the votes on Maddison and get Cody out that way. It would’ve been such a huge game move for me and Maddison that would have looked super great for the jury, and if Cody left this game would be wide open again. Also it would’ve been believable that Pedro ratted the vote out to Maddison instead of me so I could’ve hid behind that too and old Hanuha never would’ve known I told Maddison the vote. But I get it and Maddison was nervous it was her. We still have an opportunity to flip this on the next vote too. It just requires Pedro and the personal connection I have with him to flip with me. He will have to put personal things aside with Maddison and Olivia if he wants to be more than fourth or fifth in this game. He knows the best he can get here is fifth with them....he even told me this straight up. I wish I didn’t have to flip because I love these people but I know that Cody Najwah and Sarah are a final 3. And I’ve been wronged so many times before that it would be a nice little treat for Ben and everyone else hahahaha. Actually Sarah flipping would be great for her own game too but I’m not sure if she is really going to do that or just is waiting for the right moment to maybe flip with me and Pedro as well. It’s interesting with Sarah because it’s almost like we are both staring at each other waiting for the other to say we wanna flip. Wonder if we are thinking the same thing and maybe planning the same moves. Wouldn’t surprise me, Casanova 👑 has a really similar game to mine, even if it’s portrayed differently.

Aimee

Also, after listening to that podcast. WHOS THE TOP PISCES NOW, ZACK! https://64.media.tumblr.com/ce6ed38bc4ad9c69ee92e5e764c19e5e/tumblr_njj8unqiGl1sqbiv1o5_400.gifv

Sarah

From three days ago but I just got it to upload.... https://youtu.be/w5g35793Bkc

Sarah

From last night... https://youtu.be/IBPzYsGfIRU Najwah I had a brain fart at the end of that game and I said something so ridiculous. I just want to bury my head in a mountain of blankets and sleep. 💀�� What a fun game though I enjoyed it! But... Embarrassed for life.

Aimee

https://rainbowkarolina.tumblr.com/post/616209748381122560/ I wore my jacket looking fancy for this immunity challenge. Too bad my mood was shit. Oh well. Congrats Cody!! 🥳🥳🥳 https://64.media.tumblr.com/b1324cd7cf8c621547f61c8cb20d5fda/eaeee04a03e6c254-72/s540x810/eaf80576f97d63015f9a99cffb28fe7b46e888cb.gifv

Najwah

No ones ever going to see that video again so let's write a better confession. Here's the thing, I am playing for fun at this point. After hearing and having time to listen to Zack's podcast, I realised how intense I was initially too. How I'd do anything to win. Whether it was stay up until 6am, avoid my job, accidentally stay without food, stay in bed, not call my parents for weeks, blindsiding James just to get to merge. I no longer feel stressed and angry. One thing I liked about Zack's podcast segment was that I have a whole new perspective on a lot of things right now. I'm here, in the fucking top 7. Never thought that would ever happen. I have made friends and gained so much from this. At some point in this game you get to a crossroads and you have to decide who you are. Are you a vicious blindsiding, backstabbing bitch or do you want to see your people WIN more than anything. Tonight Cody won immunity. He fucking deserved it. I'm so happy he can go spend time with his nieces and nephews and not worry about being a target. Me? Oh I'm burning to use my damn superidol so that I can at least try to win ONE immunity.

Everyone in the game right now has won individual immunity except Pedro and I. Which is funny bc I always thought of Pedro as a challenge beast. I miss Amy. I don't like not seeing her in this game. I've been thinking about how we left things all day. Why did she want me to vote her? Why did she trick me about the vote or was that just her protecting me? Either way, we played the same game at each other as our last play. The double decoy. I don't know if I mentioned this yesterday, but Amy wanted to vote Olivia out so that we could form a 4 person alliance with Pedro and Maddison. I've never spoken to Maddison ever. And Pedro is a loose cannon. I don't see how that would have ever worked. And she said our first play would be to get the strong players out: Cody, Sarah.. Like? In my opinion Maddison is the strongest player in the game. If Maddison were at the end, I wouldn't hesitate voting her in a heart beat. I didn't get how she wanted. To hide behind Maddison forever and not take control of her own game. I didn't get that she wanted Maddison out but whenever it came down to it, she would hesitate to get her out? She's told me every one of Maddison and Olivias advantages and idols etc. She's spilled so much tea while I've never told her anything negative about the people I'm working with because I didn't want them out? Ugh. I guess some day I'll ask her. If this were a real game of survivor perhaps I'd take Sarah or Aimee out, like I'd flip on them for a million bucks maybe coz they're strong players but as long as this is an online game ima be cheering everyone on bc this game is long and tough and we have been through things together, ya know?

Olivia A

Just talked to Aimee about flipping to work with Maddison, Pedro, and me. She said she’s in for now but still wants to talk to og hanuha people and see their plan for this tribal. She still said that she realizes if she doesn’t flip all of our games (including hers) are done. So even thought she hasn’t given full agreement, I think we’re all solid on this. We are planning to vote Sarah out. I think this will completely turn the game around. I don’t wanna think too far ahead but I’m starting to see my trajectory to FTC pretty clearly. Don’t wanna speak too soon though so if I get voted out don’t hold this against me lol.

Pedro A

trying to break the trio...have a bad feeling about this tribal ....working with maddison and olivia isnt the best....i hope they dont lie AGAIN....at this point..if i get out....they are next...so its kinda dumb to vote....BUT IF I LOSE....i will scream ALELUIAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...cause damn im exhausted

Aimee

This song is dedicated to Cody and his immunity win!!!!!🙌💚🖤 https://youtu.be/weRHyjj34ZE Sharika - Whenever, Wherever Our humor knows no distance 😻🌵🌈💞 😅I’m trying my damnedest to get Maddison and I as far to the end of this game as possible. So sorry about the confessional about me wanting the idol to work to get you out. https://64.media.tumblr.com/562258ad5eb14f6498ceff24aa8392e7/984582d2a107588c-d2/s540x810/1b6cf1576e95c3672122cfb7887ffd5a644d87da.gifv So I hope no hard feelings! I love that we can laugh over pop divas, gay culture and just life in general. 😂 We are gonna tear up the city as soon as we can hang out in person. I hope Texas and Ohio is ready for this! Olivia A

Pedro being so paranoid about Aimee’s commitment is getting frustrating. Since we brought this plan to him we’ve told him she’s 100% in she’s been talking about flipping forever and he still gets so nervous. I understand the paranoia bc it’s a big move but I wish he would listen to what we’re telling him and trust our intuition. That doesn’t really matter though bc tonight we are voting Sarah and it’s going to work! :) Oh also Maddison and I keep saving up coins to buy things that end up being nothing it’s getting really frustrating but oh well!

Pedro A

Sarrah says she wants to vote maddison...and now aimee..is trying to get me to vote...with maddison and olivia who want to take out sarah.....(i already know about the plan, i made the plan lmao)......somehow i feel like im the one GOING HOME TONIGHT

Maddison

I’m putting trust in someone that I never wanted to have to trust. Pedro, here’s to you bud.

Aimee

https://kasugano.tumblr.com/post/154832341580 Well I figured I would try! I will do everything in my power to keep Maddison here on Skype survivor island. https://rainbowkarolina.tumblr.com/post/612534208936755200/ I just keep losing one close friend after another in this game. I’ve honestly become numb to it at this point. I just see that light at the end of the tunnel. 2 weeks just 2 more weeks. I don’t plan on going to jury. I’m just so excited to finally reconnect with my people at the end. I’ll keep fighting like I’ve been doing since day 1. I feel like Maddison being voted out just kicked me into overdrive. The adrenaline is here and I’m ready for what’s to come next. This lady is strong and a fighter. https://rainbowkarolina.tumblr.com/post/613061232697753600/

Cody A

https://youtu.be/S8iY2_ho8-Y

#episodes

0 notes

obtusemedia · 7 years ago

Text

In Ascending Order: Ranking Every Lady Gaga Song

Since disappearing from the spotlight for a few years after her third full-length album ARTPOP failed to capture the public’s imagination in 2013, Lady Gaga has has returned in a major way recently. A record-setting Super Bowl performance, destroying her Coachella headlining set (yes, she only was offered the position only after Beyoncé dropped out, but IT’S STILL A BIG DEAL OKAY), rocking the Oscars twice (and impressing living legend Julie Andrews), even being nominated for an Oscar...the Mother Monster has had a busy couple years.

Gaga even released a new album this past fall, Joanne,although it wasn’t a mega-smash like her first three records. However, the pop charts are really grayscale right now, so the very technicolor Gaga getting another hit in 2016 was unlikely anyways. Katy Perry, Lorde and Beyoncé’s new singles underperformed (or in Katy’s case, straight-up flopped...at least Lorde and Beyoncé have massive critical acclaim) on the charts in the past year too, so don’t blame the Mother Monster for not sounding like Lil Uzi Vert (although that would be awesome).

With all this renewed energy in Gaga’s career, I figured now would be a fantastic time to pay tribute to my favorite pop artist of all time. Without this avant-garde diva, I might have continued to ignore mainstream pop music when I was in high school, and given how stellar Top 40 was during the turn of the decade, that would’ve been a massive shame.

This is my personal ranking of every Lady Gaga song, with a few caveats:

1) No bonus tracks, just like the Kanye song ranking. I apologize that I won’t get to share my thoughts on — yes, this song exists — “Black Jesus/Amen Fashion,” but if the Mother Monster didn’t want these songs on the proper album release, they aren’t going on this list.

2) I’m not including her collab album with Tony Bennett, Cheek To Cheek. Partly because they’re covers of standards, but mostly because I’m really, really not a fan of pre-rock n’ roll pop, and it would be boring to have most of those songs clog up the bottom of the list.

3) No songs where Gaga is only a featured artist. Sorry, Beyoncé and...uh, Wale.

Let’s dive in!

#64: “Gypsy” (ARTPOP, 2013)

I normally love Gaga in Springsteen-worship mode, but “Gypsy” was a colossal misfire. There’s no hook to grab onto, and although I normally don’t mind Stefani’s somewhat corny lyrics, this one is just too loaded with clichés for me. The overt sincerity of “Gypsy” is horribly out of place compared to the rest of ARTPOP’s neon-splattered drugged-out vibe, and let’s not forget her (sorry for using this played-out word, but it’s the only one that works here) cringe-y attempt to use her trademark stutter lyrics during the coda: “I’m-I’m-I’m/a gypsy-gypsy-gypsy-gypsy.” Gaga has blander songs, but none that make me as angry as “Gypsy,” which sounds like a cheap knockoff of her Born This Way classics.

#63: “Paper Gangsta” (The Fame, 2008)

Honestly, I don’t even mind the super-dated production here. It’s Gaga’s auto-tune rapping that drives me bonkers. Can you at least stay on beat?

#62: “Boys Boys Boys” (The Fame)

Lady Gaga (to record executives): “Hey guys...thanks for releasing my debut album and all, but why do you insist on throwing in all these filler tracks at the end?”

Record Execs: *while chomping cigars* “You know how it is, Miss Gaga: 14 songs is the norm for pop albums. There’s gonna be some filler to reach that number, it’s just the way it goes.”

Gaga: “Right, okay, but there’s probably only 10 songs that are actually any good. Isn’t that enough? I mean, ‘Boys Boys Boys’ was just something I wrote as a joke and recorded for kicks. I literally rip off a line from that Randy Newman song about LA...”

Execs: “Make more hit songs and then you can make these decisions. For now, ‘Boys Boys Boys’ stays on. It tests well with the tween demographic.”

Gaga: “Ugh. Fine.”

Execs: “Also, how would you be down to work with this hot up-and-comer named Colby O’Donis? He’s going to be the next Justin Timberlake, we guarantee it!”

#61: “Sinner’s Prayer” (Joanne, 2016)

In which Gaga tries to get us to forget that she’s from Manhattan with this boring cowboy lullaby. I already don’t like acoustic guitar ballads, so this was never going to be a favorite of mine.

#60: “Mary Jane Holland” (ARTPOP)

I’m all for Gaga getting weird, but I’m really not sure we needed a Skrillex-biting dubstep anthem about smoking weed in Europe from her. Maybe Miley could’ve pulled this off, but this isn’t Gaga’s lane.

#59: “Come To Mama” (Joanne)

Father John Misty wrote this uncanny-valley version of a 70s soul tune, and he might have been able to salvage it himself by adding a bit of irony. When Gaga plays it straight, it just sounds like a song on some PBS Kids show. Not one of the good ones, either.

#58: “Money Honey” (The Fame)

You know how The Killers’ Hot Fuss is loaded with classics in the first-half, and then the second-half is the definition of pure filler? The Fame is the electropop equivalent. You will forget this boring “Just Dance” retread seconds after it ends.

#57: “So Happy I Could Die” (The Fame Monster, 2009)

Now we’ve reached the “just okay” tier. “So Happy I Could Die” isn’t bad enough to halt the groove of the near-perfect Fame Monster EP, but it’s still fairly forgettable.

#56: “Electric Chapel” (Born This Way, 2011)

The opening suggests that Gaga might go full metal here. Instead, it settles for pedestrian electro-pop with a few guitar chords (and an admittedly pretty awesome guitar solo) sprinkled in. Not dire by any means, but compared to Born This Way’s other iconic cuts, it doesn’t stand out.

#55: “Donatella” (ARTPOP)

This skewering of fashion magnate Donatella Versace peaks in the first 20 seconds with a wonderfully campy spoken-word intro: “I’m blonde, I’m skinny, I’m rich, and I’m a little bit of a bitch.” After that, it’s a boilerplate ARTPOP-era in-your-face EDM tune.

#54: “I Like It Rough” (The Fame)

Not a super-memorable song, but it has a few nice touches. The Chromeo-esque talkbox at the beginning is wonderful, and the lead synth riff is pretty catchy. One of the better filler tracks on The Fame’s second half.

#53: “Bloody Mary” (Born This Way)

Remember when Gaga was super into religious metaphors and symbolism? “Bloody Mary” is probably the most prominent example of this era, name-dropping Jesus and making references to being crucified. She even has robot monks chant “GAGA.” Unfortunately, the verses sound like she’s literally puking at the end of each line, but the chorus has a nice melody. She also lets loose a a blood-curdling scream at one point, which is always fun. All in all, it’s a mid-tier Born This Way cut.

#52: “The Fame” (The Fame)

I shouldn’t be surprised about how mediocre most of The Fame’s non-singles are, but it’s still disappointing. At least “The Fame” has a funky guitar groove to balance out the cliché lyrics and hookless chorus.

#51: “Beautiful, Dirty, Rich” (The Fame)

Don’t worry, we’re almost through the endless non-singles on The Fame...wait, hold on. Apparently this was a single. Well, it’s certainly not bad, but it definitely lacks the je ne sais quoi of the other singles. Solid production, I guess, if a bit underwhelming. Gaga herself outperforms the actual song.

#50: “Angel Down” (Joanne)

Ending Joanne, which is definitely Gaga’s comfort-food album, with a memorial tune for slain teen Trayvon Martin certainly was a bold move, and I give major props to Stefani for trying to write a song about the tense racial climate. However...it just feels a bit forced. File this under the “I respect it but don’t listen to it often” category.

#49: “Jewels N’ Drugs” feat. T.I., Too $hort, Twista (ARTPOP)

Hey kids! Did you want to hear Lady Gaga try to make a dubstep-trap fusion with three outdated rappers?! No? Too bad, it already happened. I know, ranking this above the very sincere “Angel Down” makes me a horrible human being, but this is one of the most entertaining garbage fires I’ve heard in my life.

“Jewels N’ Drugs,” objectively, is Gaga’s worst song. It’s awkward, badly produced, and Gaga feels super out-of-place. But it gains so, so many points for being the most interesting musical roadside car crash of our generation. Also, having Twista do his motor-mouth routine can only make a song better. The worst thing a song can be is boring, and nobody would dare call “Jewels N’ Drugs” boring. Being shockingly misguided should keep “Jewels N’ Drugs” from going any further, unfortunately.

#48: “Americano” (Born This Way)

The Mother Monster takes a trip down south for this Mexican-flavored ode to eloping with another woman. Like “Jewels N’ Drugs,” it’s extremely clunky and awkward (“language” in Spanish definitely isn’t “language-oro,” Gaga), but also like that ARTPOP track, it’s too goofy to really hate. A relentless four-on-the-floor beat and some nice horn flourishes can’t hurt either.

#47: “Joanne” (Joanne)

Certainly the better of Joanne’s two acoustic tracks. This one, an ode to Stefani’s late aunt — named Joanne, of course — is touching and sweet. It almost feels like a dusty Carole King song. Although I don’t love the toned-down sound, it fits Gaga’s storyteller songwriting here.

#46: “ARTPOP” (ARTPOP)

Although most of ARTPOP is hyperactive and gaudy, the title track takes a cold, metallic detour. It’s not an all-time classic or anything, but the melody is sticky and it provides a nice breather from the harsh dubstep production.

#45: “Starstruck” ft. Flo Rida (The Fame)

This belongs in a museum exhibit about the year 2009 (yes, it came out in 2008 technically, but this is a dead ringer for ‘09). The auto-tune, the chirpy synths, a Flo Rida feature for some reason (apparently you can overdose on Starbucks): “Starstruck” symbolizes the best and worst of the end of the aughts. It’s probably not any better than the rest of The Fame’s filler, but I have a soft spot for it due to nostalgia.

#44: “Brown Eyes” (The Fame)

One of Gaga’s specialties is her piano ballads. Although “Brown Eyes” is a solid Queen-meets-Sara Bareilles pastiche, it’s probably still the worst of the series. Still a cute little love song with some nice guitar work, but she’d go on to achieve much greater heights with this style later in her career.

#43: “Bad Kids” (Born This Way)

Solid misfit anthem with a grimy 80s guitar riff sprinkled throughout. If Madonna decided to play dress-up as AC/DC, it would sound like this.

#42: “Alejandro” (The Fame Monster)

My least favorite of Gaga’s big hits. It’s certainly not bad by any means; the Ace of Base rhythm is fun, and the chorus certainly is an earworm. Still, compared to her other peak-era singles, it feels sort of non-essential and forgettable. This is far too normal for Gaga, and there’s a reason why this hasn’t had the shelf life of “Just Dance” or “Bad Romance.”

#41: “The Cure” (solo single, 2017)

Well, it’s been a couple months. What’s the verdict on Gaga’s new single, that flopped like many of her other recent singles? ...eh. It’s okay. Hopping on the whitewashed tropical-pop bandwagon that Bieber and Ed Sheeran have ridden to success might have been a smart financial move (except it didn’t work), but musically, it just doesn’t fit Gaga’s voice or songwriting style. I mean, come on Gaga...if you’re going to copy a current trend, why not try to sound like Lil Yachty? At least he’s fun.

#40: “Til It Happens To You” (solo single, 2015)

Gaga’s big Oscar-nominated anthem! A brave anthem denouncing rape culture! The lyrics are incredibly personal and powerful...it’s a shame that the music couldn’t match. It certainly tries, with drum fills and orchestral strikes galore, but it sometimes drowns out the piano and vocals. Stefani’s vocal performance is absolutely jaw-dropping, and it’s a bummer that the production overpowers her. The live performance at the Academy Awards was much, much more powerful.

Honestly, it probably should’ve won the Oscar (Sam Smith’s Bond theme was boring as hell), but unfortunately it isn’t in the upper echelon of Gaga ballads. Still, I’m not sure Gaga’s ever written a more important song, lyrically speaking.

#39: “Hey Girl” ft. Florence Welch (Joanne)

Let me get this straight: You get Florence Welch on a song. Florence Welch, AKA the greatest British singer of her generation (sorry, Adele), who can demolish buildings with her voice. Florence Welch, who’s the queen of the apocalyptic power ballad and makes every breakup sound like Satan himself is behind her pain. And you stick her on a “Benny and the Jets” rewrite? I mean, “Benny and the Jets” is a great song (although Elton’s done better in terms of goofy pop), and “Hey Girl” works as an interpolation of that groove to empower women and all, but this feels like a misuse of Florence. She barely gets to belt! Next time, if you’re going to semi-cover a baby boomer classic, can you do one that suits her skill set? “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” perhaps?

#38: “Highway Unicorn (Road To Love)” (Born This Way)

We’ve now reached the part of the countdown where every song is top-notch. “Highway Unicorn” answers the question of what would happen if Bob Seger overdosed on mushrooms and ecstasy and tried to write a normal Bob Seger road trip anthem. It’s ridiculous, horribly overproduced, and somehow still wonderful.

#37: “Dancing in Circles” (Joanne)

Gaga making a winking ode to masterbation is pretty out of place on the rest of the grandma-friendly Joanne, but it’s a nice detour. The slinky Palm Springs vibe courtesy of Beck, who co-wrote the track, is welcome and adds a new style to Gaga’s catalogue.

#36: “Swine” (ARTPOP)

This is the Mother Monster’s most overt foray into EDM, with a mind-melting bass-drop included. However, this is less Swedish House Mafia and more Nine Inch Nails in its transgressive imagery — comparing your lover to a literal pig is a little gross, admittedly — and incredibly aggressive sound. The synths aren’t shiny and clean: they sound like jackhammers, lazer guns, and a rollercoaster going up a hill. Somehow, this works despite the incredibly unpleasant imagery. Probably because it makes for an incredible workout song.

#35: “Heavy Metal Lover” (Born This Way)

Unfortunately, Gaga doesn’t dive deep into actual heavy metal here, but like “Swine,” “Heavy Metal Lover” feels grimy and dirty. It’s arguably the singer’s most sexual song from her early career, and really captures a visceral vibe that’s hard to find in most of Gaga’s brighter, more-polished hits. Back in 2011, it sounded super experimental. Now that most Top 40 has ventured into a darker direction, it just sounds like a portent of hits to come.

#34: “Teeth” (The Fame Monster)

Pitchfork described “Teeth” as Gaga’s version of a Christina Aguilera song, and I’m not going to be able to beat that. I’ll just add this: “Teeth” sounds way, way better than 95% of Aguilera’s tunes, because Stefani was a theater geek in high school. She can do this vaudeville throwback sound in her sleep.

#33: “Aura” (ARTPOP)

There couldn’t be a better opening to the demented funhouse mirror that is ARTPOP than this bonkers track. “Aura” begins with Gaga detailing how she murdered her ex. After that, she laughs manically over Spanish guitar. Then the beat drops, and all chaos breaks loose.

Opening the already-very-weird ARTPOP with arguably its weirdest track was a bold move, and although whether or not you like “Aura” depends completely on how much you can stomach avant-garde, whacked-out Gaga (the same applies to its parent album). Luckily, I prefer my Gaga to be completely insane, so “Aura” is a perfect album opener.

#32: “Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)” (The Fame)

“Eh, Eh” is the audio equivalent of ice cream and puppies. This bubblegum tune is the exact opposite of “Heavy Metal Lover” and “Swine” in the best ways possible, and I’d be willing to bet Carly Rae Jepsen ghostwrote this. Cherry cherry boom boom!

#31: “Fashion!” (ARTPOP)

Doesn’t quite top the Bowie classic of the same name, it still captures the main attribute that any song about fashion should have: a killer strutting grove built for catwalks. Besides, who better than our era’s most unique dresser to write a tune about the power of fancy clothes?

#30: “Government Hooker” (Born This Way)

This serves as the one-song preview for ARTPOP and all its over-the-top ridiculousness. I mean that in the best way possible, of course: Any song that features someone yelling “HOOOOOOOKAAAAAH” on the chorus and contains the platonic ideal of a so-bad-it’s-brilliant line (in this case, “put your hands on me/John F. Kennedy”) is an instant camp classic in my book. The maddeningly catchy hook and sinister production almost make it legitimate.

#29: “MANiCURE” (ARTPOP)

Power pop is one of the most under-appreciated genres. For those who don’t know: This is when you have a super-sticky bubblegum pop anthem, and beef it up with massive, crunchy guitars. You definitely know a few examples. “MANiCURE” is a perfect update of that sound. Cheap Trick are kicking themselves that they didn’t write this.

#28: “Judas” (Born This Way)

Yes, I’m aware that “Judas” has a toxic reputation as being Gaga’s first major flop single, and it certainly does rip off “Bad Romance.” Here’s the thing: I don’t really care. If you’re going to rip yourself off, rip off one of your classics! Bruno Mars stole “21K Magic” from “Uptown Funk,” and it works because the skeleton of the former is built around a modern classic. I feel the same way here. Also, it’s just so silly and overblown, like the best Gaga singles. It’s a guilty pleasure, sorry!

#27: “Million Reasons” (Joanne)

I hate most country, but I love a classic piano ballad. “Million Reasons” combines both, plus lots of religious pleading, into a song that somehow feels both very staged, and yet very touching. Not Gaga’s finest adventure on the keys, but it’s still miles better than most recent attempts to use this formula.

#26: “LoveGame” (The Fame)

“Disco stick” is the greatest penis euphemism ever created. Don’t fight me on this. The rest of the song is a solid late-aughts banger, but disco stick is what will keep “LoveGame” in the public consciousness for years to come.

#25: “A-YO” (Joanne)

If all of Joanne seamlessly blended country motifs and sounds with pop production and melodies like this, I probably would’ve liked the album a whole lot more. Also, remember when she used this song to shade The Chainsmokers? Good times.

#24: “Hair” (Born This Way)

“Hair” is a litmus test to see how much of Born This Way’s bombastic cheese you can handle: Are you not cool with a chorus that proudly proclaims, “I AM MY HAIR?” Does the cliché-yet-classic story of a misfit running away from her disapproving parents make you smirk? Do the bright saxophone flourishes give you flashbacks to the worst of late-80s pop (same with the loud synths and early-10s pop)? If you answered yes to all of those, “Hair” isn’t for you. Go listen to something ~serious~ like J. Cole or whatever. For those of us that actually like fun and wish pop music still sounded as dorky and over-the-top as it did in 1987, “Hair” is perfect.

#23: “Applause” (ARTPOP)

Friendly reminder that this song, which unfortunately has been lost to the sands of time, absolutely bangs and is probably the most accessible song on ARTPOP. This could’ve been another smash hit, but nope. Y’all chose Katy Perry’s worst single instead (yes, worse even than “Bon Appetit”). Only Gaga could write a song about how she loves it when people worship her and not sound absolutely insufferable.

#22: “Dope” (ARTPOP)

After an entire album of hedonism, drug freakouts, and day-glo splashes of sound, Gaga takes things way, way down a notch with “Dope,” an album that reveals that ARTPOP’s wacky chaos sounded out-of-control for a reason: She was suffering from a very real drug addiction at the time. “Dope” is a haunting, extremely powerful song in which Gaga decides to give up the drugs for love. Produced by one of the GOATs, Rick Rubin, it’s both minimalist (in terms of the sound being just piano and a few synth flourishes) and maximalist (Stefani goes full Meatloaf in her bombastic vocal performance). Not going to find many piano ballads better than this in most pop stars’ arsenals. And it’s not even Gaga’s best in the subgenre.

#21: “Dance In The Dark” (The Fame Monster)

The fact that this 80s-pop jam was shafted as the single in favor of the just-okay “Alejandro” is a crime. “Dance In The Dark” is a stuttering, forceful dancefloor anthem that’s all about female empowerment. Yes, that sounds like Gaga bingo (she even name drops a super-famous icon, in this case Princess Diana), but it’s surprisingly touching, and of course, it’s a total jam.

#20: “John Wayne” (Joanne)

See “AY-O” above, but even better. This is what The Fame would’ve sounded like if Gaga was from Austin and not Manhattan.

#19: “Sexxx Dreams” (ARTPOP)

I will defend ARTPOP until the day I die, and a huge reason is the maligned album’s showstopper first half. There’s not a weak track in the first seven songs to be found (okay, “Jewels N’ Drugs” is so-bad-it’s-good, but I’m counting that), and it bounces from one electrifying synthpop banger to the next. In that lineup, the kinky, jittery “Sexxx Dreams” isn’t one of the very best, but it would be an easy single on any other pop album. The transition to the nervous verses to the synth explosion on the chorus is seamless. Probably as close as Gaga came to classic new wave.

#18: “Scheibe” (Born This Way)

Gaga’s other major excursion into another country’s pop music on Born This Way, “Americano,” is fun, but the mix of early-’10s synthpop and Mexican stylings is a bit clunky. However, the Mother Monster slips into sleek German industrial techno like a glove. “Scheibe” (which means “shit” in German, fun fact) sounds like Madonna-goes-to-Berlin, as Stefani’s robotic German chants eventually morph into a four-on-the-floor jam with a soaring chorus. It’s technically about female empowerment, but it’s really about Gaga getting her ‘90s dance groove on.

#17: “Summerboy” (The Fame)

For some reason, Gaga thought recording a Strokes soundalike in 2008, about 6 years after the New York legends’ peak, was a good idea. Thank god she pulls it off.

The pop-rock groove is slick, timeless, and the Mother Monster is more than willing to vamp it up like Debbie Harry. This was a brief moment where Gaga actually sounded somewhat like a *gasp* normal person, and although it obviously didn’t last, it is an interesting —and catchy — look at what could’ve been if she decided to go down the Gwen Stefani route instead of the Madonna one. There’s something beautifully nostalgic and bittersweet about “Summerboy,” and I’m shocked that one of The Fame’s boilerplate non-singles is lowkey one of Gaga’s best love songs.

#16: “Poker Face” (The Fame)

The only thing holding back “Poker Face” from a top 10 spot is that it’s a bit repetitive, which is a pet peeve of mine. Still, “p-p-p-pokerface” is one of the most maddening earworms of my generation, and Gaga deserves endless props for sneaking a song about bisexuality onto the top of the charts before LGBT support was mainstream (at least, to the point that it is now). It’s a killer electropop jam that let the world know that Gaga wasn’t going to disappear after one hit.

#15: “G.U.Y.” (ARTPOP)

Another first-half ARTPOP club banger for the ages. The buzzsaw synth riff is infectious (produced by Zedd of all people) and Gaga’s winking sexuality perfectly toes the line between ridiculous and excessively ridiculous. “Touch me, touch me, don’t be sweet/Love me, love me, please retweet” might have made some people groan, but it just makes me laugh. Pop songs are supposed to be cheesy, right? “G.U.Y.” fits that bill, complete with Gaga unleashing her metal wail during the outro again. For someone like me who loves pop music with a splash of weirdness, “G.U.Y.” is an underrated gem.

#14: “Bad Romance” (The Fame Monster)

I know, I know, leaving what is arguably Gaga’s signature song out of the Top 10 is blasphemy. Let me make this clear: “Bad Romance” is still a 9/10, classic pop song. No doubt about it. However, I think its reputation has been bolstered by being coupled with the greatest music video of the 21st century (apologies to OK Go, Kendrick Lamar, M.I.A., and Angel Olsen).

If I’m being honest with myself, “Bad Romance” just doesn’t give me the same thrill as it did back in late 2009. Maybe it’s because it takes a while to truly get going: The bridge going into the final chorus, when Gaga finally unleashes her vocal cannons (“I DON’T WANNA BE FRIIIIIIENDS”) gives me goosebumps, but it feels like the first two-thirds are just solid Gaga single material. Still a classic, but it doesn’t get me hyped anymore.

#13: “Monster” (The Fame Monster)

Songs about dealing with a hot jerk are a pop staple, and “Monster” is a pitch-perfect update of that trope. Well, maybe ‘update’ isn’t a great word, seeing as the turn-of-the-decade production is fairly dated now, but 2009 was a fantastic year for pop, so it’s not an issue. This is during the time when Gaga’s non-singles were just as strong — or even stronger — than the hits, and “Monster” could’ve easily climbed the charts with its evocative imagery and patented stuttering lyrics if Gaga chose to release it. Since she didn’t, it remains a hidden gem for Little Monsters.

#12: “Diamond Heart” (Joanne)

One of Gaga’s favorite musical wells to draw from is Bruce Springsteen, so I was a bit surprised when Joanne, her homage to heartland rock/country, didn’t seem to have much influence from the Jersey legend. However, opener “Diamond Heart” settles for the next best thing to emulate: Tom Petty! Opening with the three descriptors “young, wild, American,” and going on describing Gaga’s rough-scabble upbringing to stardom (ironic, given that she grew up wealthy on the Upper East Side…whatever, the song still works). The chorus is soaring, the guitars squeal, and the dusty rock groove could easily fit in at any dive bar in Indiana. You gotta love a fake origin story.

#11: “Born This Way” (Born This Way)

Arguably the first major hit song to bluntly advocate for LGBT issues in the U.S., “Born This Way” will go down as one of our generation’s most influential civil rights anthems. Yes, I’m still talking about the song with a video where Gaga gives birth to an alien and dances around with a skeleton. The cluttered production has aged badly, but Gaga’s passion for the subject overpowers any shortcomings the sound might have. And yeah, the melody rips off Madonna’s “Express Yourself,” but you could frankly make the argument that Gaga improves upon that 1989 hit with more important lyrics. I guarantee you Madge herself would rush the dancefloor if “Born This Way” came on in the club. Gaga’s last #1 hit has maintained in the public consciousness for a damn good reason: Pair revolutionary lyrics with a (potentially stolen) sticky melody and a danceable beat, and you’ve got an instant classic on your hands.

#10: “Just Dance” ft. Colby O’Donis (The Fame)

First off, does anybody remember Colby O’Donis or remember who he even is? It’s a bit odd that this rando was featured on one of the biggest pop songs of the past decade, and yet I’ve never heard another thing from him. Probably for the best...his warbly verse is fairly non-descript.

Luckily, it doesn’t derail Mother Monster’s introduction to the pop world. It’s impossible to describe how fast Gaga went from being an unknown to the most famous singer on the planet within half a year, and part of that obviously has to do with her electrifying videos and provocative image, which was a breath of fresh air after a ballad-stuffed 2008 pop scene. However, if “Just Dance” wasn’t as catchy, memorable, and disoriented as it was, Gaga might still be some unknown floundering around the bottom half of the Hot 100.

“Just Dance” has aged amazingly well nine years later, and the ode to desperately clinging to the remains of a dying party should last forever as long as people still have parties (or junior high formals).

#9: “Perfect Illusion” (Joanne)

The fact that this song flopped as hard as it did last fall still irritates me. Oh, I’m sorry, do you people not like stone-cold bangers anymore?! Y’all deserve Meghan Trainor and Machine Gun Kelly.

Seriously though, “Perfect Illusion” sounds better with every listen. The psych rock-meets-EDM production is both hypnotic and a pure adrenaline rush. Stefani is using her full hair-metal vocals, screaming the chorus with everything she’s got. She even throws in a weird accent, just for kicks: “IT WASN’T LAHHHHHVE!” I know that there’s a decent amount of Little Monsters who don’t like this, and prefer the quieter, more personal side of Joanne, but as someone who prefers Gaga (and pop in general) at her most bombastic, “Perfect Illusion” is the perfect comeback single that never was.

#8: “Speechless” (The Fame Monster)

The perfect Gaga song for those who don’t like Gaga!

Jokes aside, “Speechless” is a masterclass in 70s piano balladry. Surrounded by the rest of the metallic synthpop on The Fame Monster, “Speechless” feels like a random Elton John cover, but nope, it’s a Mother Monster original. One of Gaga’s more underrated traits is her knack for lyrical details, and the way she describes this heartbreaker is so specific, you can probably picture him right now. In a way, it’s like how a great author would make his/her characters come to life simply using descriptors. He’s got “James Dean glossy eyes.” He weaves “cigarette-stained lies.” He “slurred at [her]/with your half-wired broken jaw.” It’s like something out of a Carly Simon song.

“Speechless” is easy to love, which explains why it’s always been a fan favorite despite never being released as a single. Gaga is a great show-woman, and when she eventually gets that Vegas residency, “Speechless” will bring the house down every time. It will likely sound just as timeless 50 years from now as it did back in 2009.

#7: “Venus” (ARTPOP)

In a weird way, “Venus” might be just as timeless as “Speechless,” although you’d never guess that on first listen. There’s a pounding techno beat and Gaga is in full ARTPOP-era weirdness with her space-age lyrics and her usage of at least four or five different goofy voices — hardly the stuff of The Beatles.

Still, listen again: The structure of “Venus” is incredibly simple. The chorus uses the timeless four-chords. The beat and astronomically-themed lyrics are futuristic, but in a retro way, sort of like 80s new wave (which has mostly aged surprisingly well). “Venus” is a classic pop song that could’ve come from 1955, 1985, or 2055. Replace the propulsive synths — which literally sound like a space shuttle launching at points, which adds to the force of the track — with the pop stylings of any other era, and it would fit right in. That’s what makes Gaga so talented: She has a knack for unbelievably sticky pop songwriting, and she’s able to mold that skill set to whatever oddball soundscapes she chooses. “Venus” is simply the most obvious, and possibly the best, example of this. Imagine how much better Elvis would’ve been if he had a sledgehammer of a beat like this to back him up.

Also, she makes a Uranus joke, and the junior high boy in me still finds that hilarious. Sorry.

#6: “Marry The Night” (Born This Way)

In Mother Monster’s best album opener, the diva decides to go full Pat Benatar: Visceral rock choruses! An underdog narrative! Yet it still has a pop sensibility that even the catchiest Springsteen songs lack. This would’ve easily been the biggest song of 1982, and 100% deserves to be on a Rocky soundtrack.

Although there are a few Gaga songs that are better (obviously, we still have five to go), the final 45 seconds of “Marry The Night” is the greatest moment she will likely ever produce. Crunchy guitars clash with buzzsaw synths, all on top of a gargantuan dance beat. Over all of this is Gaga in full-rockstar mode, wailing away at the moon as she climbs to the top of the world. It’s the sort of moment that FORCES you to crank your stereo up to its loudest volume. It might destroy your speakers, but at least you destroyed them in the name of rock n’ roll. Please Gaga, do a metal album. I beg you.

#5: “Paparazzi” (The Fame)

“Paparazzi” is the thesis statement of early Gaga: Fame is deadly, yet it matters more than anything else. Stalkers aren’t creepy, they’re just another aspect of fame to be immortalized and celebrated, like a giant mansion or a yacht.

While some other pop stars might try to play “Paparazzi” straight, legitimately trying to make the tale of a paparazzo forcing herself onto a celebrity somehow romantic, Gaga highlights and revels in the ick-factor of it all. The cold, robotic synths lack any emotion, even lust. The narrator simply knows she wants this man, and she won’t let anything stop her from reaching her goal. Switch out a few words, and it could be about a serial killer.

Yet, somehow, despite the obvious sketchiness, “Paparazzi” is one of the catchiest and most pure pop songs Gaga has ever written, and it’s probably aged the best out of all her early singles. The metallic synth groove, the odd lyrics, the obsession with celebrity culture: There isn’t a better representation of the Mother Monster’s early days.

#4: “The Edge of Glory” (Born This Way)

Remember what I said about the last 45 seconds of “Marry The Night?” What if Gaga turned that into a full song? It’s your lucky day! That song exists, and it’s “The Edge of Glory.”

I’m not sure if “Edge” is considered top-tier Gaga or not, but I was instantly hooked the first time I heard it in May 2011. This song is another one of Born This Way’s timeless-yet-drenched-in-80s-nostalgia cuts, and it’s easily the best example of those. I mean, for God’s sake, she got Clarence freakin’ Clemens on the solo. For those of you who don’t know who Clarence Clemons is, first, call your parents and chastise them for not raising you properly. Secondly, listen to “Jungleland” (yes, all ten minutes, it’s good for you).

I shouldn’t even need to explain why “Edge of Glory” is a classic. What, do I need to explain what makes “Hey Jude” or “Juicy” great, too? Just listen, dance, headbang, sing-along, and lose yourself in Gaga’s best rock-synthpop fusion.

#3: “Yoü and I” (Born This Way)

Goddamn, I love Gaga’s Springsteen’s pastiches. I can’t think of another major pop diva, past or present, who could pull off such rock-star swagger as Gaga does on “Yoü and I.” It even has a bit of country twang; If Florida-Georgia Line accidentally wrote a genius power ballad, it would sound exactly like this.

The “We Will Rock You” thump, the interplaying E Street Band piano and AC/DC guitars, and the John Cougar-esque blue-collar lyrics all combine into a beautiful, weird soup of classic rock clichés that somehow, magically works. Gaga even gets Queen’s guitarist, Brian May, to contribute some guitar licks and a solo for extra credibility.

“Yoü and I” is proof that dad rock isn’t just limited to dads: Meat dress-wearing pop divas can take a crack at the formula, too. You’ll never find a better ode to Nebraska.

#2: “Do What U Want” (ft. R. Kelly) (ARTPOP)

“Do What U Want” is a brilliant bait-and-switch move. At first glance, it’s just a simple club banger about sex. It’d be a damn good one too: Bouncy synths, slamming bass, and both R. Kelly and Gaga giving career-highlight performances.

However, Gaga isn’t telling a hookup to do what they want with her body. She’s talking about the media. Yes, “Do What U Want” is actually a middle-finger to the press, who she was starting to get sick of by this point. The paparazzi had shifted roles from Gaga’s inspiration to her enemy. Actually listening to Gaga’s lyrics make the message pretty clear: “I get up/and I’m okay/but you print some shit that makes me wanna scream.”

Stefani is cool with the press oversexualizing her and making jokes about meat dresses; She understands that’s unfortunately part of the popstar game. What she objects to is the media coming after her personal life and her views. “You can’t stop my voice/cause you don’t own my life/but do what you want to my body.”

Of course, the message is muddled when R. Kelly twists the song back to the more blunt meaning: He’s gonna do whatever he wants to your body. Kinda sleazy (I mean, it is R. Kelly), but he SELLS it. There’s just something so visceral about him screaming “WE DON’T GIVE A FUUUUUUUCK” at the end of his verse.

So yeah, “Do What U Want” is a banger with an actual message. It’s both sensual and righteously pissed. In a just world, it would have been just as massive of a smash as the number one song on this list...

#1: “Telephone” feat. Beyoncé (The Fame Monster)

The two most important pop stars of our generation came together and produced a simple dance-pop number that wound up becoming the pinnacle of both artists’ careers.

“Telephone” is the platonic ideal for electropop. It perfectly straddles the fence between too much tastelessness and just enough. There hasn’t been a better Gaga stutter hook than “Stop telephoning me-eh-eh-eh-eh,” sounding just like a busy line. Beyoncé absolutely KILLS her verse, slowing the beat down for a second, making me wish she made more pop cameos.

The whole production is a blurry mess of sizzling keyboards, an incessant beat that tells you — no, DEMANDS you — to never stop dancing, a Greek chorus, swirling disco strings, and two all-time greats singing over the hook like it’s no big deal. I’m not sure there’s another pop song out there that feels this propulsive as “Telephone;” It whirrs and pops with energy at every second. It manages to make dealing with the simple inconvenience of a phone going off at the club seem like a struggle of Herculean proportions.

This is the Watch The Throne of pop music. Two icons in their primes. This is like if Michael Jackson and Prince teamed up in 1984. Or if the Bee Gees and Abba collaborated in 1978. Or if Eddie Vedder and Kurt Cobain jammed together in 1993 (we did get Eddie and Chris Cornell together though, which is pretty cool nonetheless). It’s highly unlikely we’ll ever see two giants of pop collaborate like this ever again, or if we do, it’ll probably be lame, like The Chainsmokers feat. Ed Sheeran or something.

“Telephone” is the best Lady Gaga song. “Telephone” is the best Beyoncé song. And “Telephone” is one of the best pop songs of all time. Don’t believe me? Add it to your next party playlist. See how people react. It’s the early-’10s dancefloor banger to end all dancefloor bangers. And all because Gaga and Bey forgot to put their phones on mute.

Also, the video is a beautiful/ugly work of art that better wind up in the MoMA. Mass murder via sandwiches has never been more fun!

#lady gaga #in ascending order #synthpop #rock #country rock #beyonce #r. kelly

1 note · View note

r-o-se · 8 years ago

Photo

EXACTLY 101 comments over P101 S2E4 wow how did I manage that don’t ask me also sorry for the shit screencaps lmao NOTHING THAT CUTE OR COOL HAPPENED IT WAS JUST SAD

Yo those eps are getting subbed faster than they used to idk whats going on but I’m definitely not complaining lol lets get riiiiiiiiiight into the neeeeeeeeews

1. Flashback scenes to Jisung and Jinwoo’s teams losing are not appreciated at all stop the MMO abuse

2. ‘3000 votes is too many’ I AGREE the Be Mine team is training everywhere and all the time poor fucking kids

3. Who edited this and thought that ‘wow a piano rendition of out song would be a great and dramatic choice’ newsflash it’s not I’m already done with this song lmao

4. SHINEE SHINEE SHINEE REPLAY TEAMS YOOOOO

5. Pink team Ren and Yuehua chinaliners vs green team Sanggyun and MMO Jaehan and Taewoong

6. The pink cutesy Ren team is…. Too aegyo-ish I’m older than 80% of them yet I feel like a pedophile watching this SAVE ME SOMEONE

7. Sanggyun and Justin are the centers and both fucking wreck their roles in the best way possible

8. Justin is so overacting and cheesy I’m rotting lmao love my kid tho

9. Lee Gunhee aka the (RBW?) kid whose intro vid was him singing while getting hit by shit to show how stabile he is keeps getting out of tune I’m sad and worried

10. The vocals trainers in this show I stg their method is just singing the high notes and then looking at the trainee like ‘what u cant do this lol? Try harder’

11. Ren is comforting the kid whos dying of self doubt u g h

12. AND HERE WE GO LMAO THEIR SMILES ARE SO BRIGHT SOMEONE STOP THE PINK TEAM

13. U get the most flowerboyish pretty boy that has ever lived (Ren) and u give him the ugliest haircut u can think of pretty sure this counts as a crime

14. GUNHEE DID IT IT ONLY BROKE A BIT IN THE VERY VERY END HE PULLED IT OFFFFFF AND HE PULLS OFF ALL THE NOTES AFTER THAT TOO

15. Zhu Zheng did a frontflip of course he did lmao also Jihoon is probs pissing his pants because everyone around keep winking lmao

16. Team 1 is playing around and being cute w the camera but team 2 look a bit troubled also ugh they are too hardcore for this fucking god Zhu Zheng kiddo I love you but you put them into such a shitty position aaaaa

17. Here we gooooooooooooo green team lookin cuter than I expected holy damn Sanggyun is SINGING and it’s SO GOOD FOR A RAPPER

18. HE IS ALSO SHOWING HIS ABS LMAOOO THIS ISNT THAT SORT OF SONG AAHAHAH FUCK

19. Their performance is really good? A Lot cuter than I predicted and the vocals are so goooood

20. Why do all other trainees look so sour did u want them to fail or some shit just let the kids live they were forced into such an uncomfortable concept aaaaaaa I WANNA VOTEEEE

21. Time for pain and results team 1 won with ~70 votes im SAD Sanggyun was the only one who took the position points win aaaahhhhhh ngl I was rooting for #2 eventho #1 had Ren and Yuehua kiddos also 3000 votes is TOO FUCKING MUCHH I HATE P101

22. Now its Mansae aka power vocals vs the leftovers rip

23. Woodam is one of my fav vocals overall this season all of the shit he’s done his intro clip his evaluation and reeevaluation clips are all so golden I love that dude and obvs he’s SLAYING THIS SONG TOO AGH

24. Team 1 Yoonsung left due to health problems this is what happens when u don’t give kids food and make them get stage ready within a week and rearrange within 2 days

25. It stressed Woodam the fuck OUT and he messed up a looot during rehearsals, missing notes and whatnot

26. Their rapper reminds me of cube Soyeon last season with his kinda small and cutesy looks yet super charismatic stage presence

27. Woodams VOCAAAAAAAALSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

28. Ok now the leftover group I really hope they will do alright they make me really sad ugh I really really really hope they’re okay u g h

29. Theres this kid Hadon who is really salty about being in that team and leaves in the middle of practice and then won’t cooperate during trainers thing aahhh kid please

30. Neverminddd they got nothing to show shit this is gonna be bad I am Very Worried

31. Kahi is so nice I love her so much she’s so friendly and sweet and good truly the queen of this show without her it would be so much worse

32. Hadon got his confidence back and their teamwork is so much better now and literally all of this got started by Kahi I LOVE KAHI SO MUCH BEST GIRL

33. Their energy is a lot better than I expected I’m so glad they went through with their training and everything

34. The Kim Youngjin kid has absolutely acceptable vocals I’m so glad they didn’t make any mistakes and just agh this team makes me sad

35. Team 1 wins with overpowering 500 votes they got 500 votes MORE than team 2 it’s just so fucking sad dude 600+ vs 150

36. But WOODAM ALONEGOT 207 VOTES WHICH IS MORE THAN ENTIRE TEAM 2 HOLY SHITTTTT THIS IS WHAT A POWER VOCAL DOES

37. SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY

38. I’ve waited for this stage for sooooooo long they got all of my fav kids in Minhyuns team and then Ha Minho and Seonho and Namhyung in the other team aaaaaaahhh I’ll call them red and black since that’s their suits Minho ‘s team is red and Minhyun’s is black. They all look so good truly nothing wrong with a nice suit

39. Minho and Namhyung want to insert a self written rap since they’re both rappers and Sorry Sorry has no rapping parts

40. Minho really really wants to rap but Seokhoon (the vocal coach) doesn’t want to let him and also is mad at him because he wants to rap instead of singing like wow what? A rapper wants to rap instead of singing?? Wow unbelievable

41. CHEETAH CAME IN AND SAID HE WANTS TO HEAR THE RAP THANK U THANK U THANK U Minho kiddo looked like he’s gonna tear up when he saw her

42. Seunho was chose to jump on other’s backs since hes so handsome and APPARENTLY ALSO A PIANO GENIUS WOW WHAT ON EARTH DID HE JUST PLAY

43. I really hope this group will do good since their opponents are sooo strong

44. Aaahahahha fuck their choreo is so good and the harmonizations I might be biased but the Sorry Sorry stages are literally The Best of this show so far

45. Seunho is like what 16 yrs old who let him look so good go away his body build makes him look so much older

46. DANCE BREAK IS SO GOOD DUDE WHAT AND SEUNHOS JUMP WAS SO GOOD HIS EXPRESSION AFTER THAT WAS SOO IMPACTFUL AAHAHAH FUCK DUDE some dude in the audience screamed like someone bit his leg off honestly same

47. I’ve watched maybe 3 original SuJu sorry sorry versions yet I can sing almost the entire thing that’s what an impactful song means lmao

48. TEAM 2 AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH THERE THEY ARE MY ULT KIDS

49. JR is taking care of Hyunbin this is like Sejeong and Sohye last season honestly SO CUTE I LOVE JR SO MUCH THAT KID IS THE SOFTEST LEADER I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

50. Their vocal coach tried to drag JR’s leadership uhh maybe kindly fuck off that kid doesn’t need your picking to hate himself when will he stop BLAMING HIMSELF

51. Hyunbin is making mistakes and their dance coach keeps bullying JR like fuck no other leaders got this much shit even when their teammates couldn’t get it done right

52. He takes all his time to take care of the others like help Hyunbin and Jaehwan with their dance and sleepy/sick Daniel

53. JR finally broke when Hyunbin isn’t taking it seriously enough

54. Sorry Sorry black team laughing together in deliriously sick sleep deprivation and choking stress is still probably the most beautiful ray of hope and sunshine in this ugly show I LOVE THIS TEAM SO MUCH

55. There we go the best stage of this cursed show is here Seungwoos expressions are SO ON POINT ITS SO GOOD JUST DEBUT THEM NOW

56. They all look so good I’m shook Daniel with a middle part was something I didn’t know I needed before I had it

57. Lmao Jisung jokingly doing the moves along when Daniel appeared

58. JAEHWANS VOCALS AND HARMONIES!!!!!!!! F U C K !!!!!!!

59. I’m so biasaed towards this team if u decide to bring my follower count into single digits for this it’s understandable

60. But I still really love team 1 too please don’t misunderstand Ha Minho is my lil kid with enough balls to speak his mind even if he gets fucked by rude coaches for it

61. ‘Result is important but other team did well so I told them that too’ I love JR ok friendship is magic

62. HYUNBIN GOT THE HIGHEST SCORE OF THEM ALL. WHAT THE HECK DUDE LIKE BRO FELLA BROTHER I LOVE HYUNBINN HAVE LOVED FOR A WHILE BUT. THE HIGHEST SCORE?? BRUH? HIS OPPONENT ONLY HAD 7 VOTES THIS IS SO SAD IM SAD THIS KID IS DEAD INSIDE

63. Everyone in team 2 besides Seunho got really low votes I’m so sad…… bruh…. They’re so so so so SO talented but they went against the popular kids…

64. Showing individual votes is so cruel and 3000 EXTRA VOTES IS TOO MUCH IM E M O THIS IS SO UNFAIR FUCK THIS SHOW!!! Team 1 looks so wrecked I’m so sad they have almost a 300 vote gap

65. It is BEAST TIME ONE OF THE BOYS HAS A CRUTCH WHAT THE HELLLLLL

66. The crutch boy is Dongmyeong and he’s in team 1 as well as Sunghyuk with thick lips and looks a bit like Shownu

67. Team 1 has a loooot of problems distributing parts and practicing in general while team 2 was almost ready

68. Sunghyuk is sadddddddd and crying bc he feels like they’re gonna lose but in the end the practice went better tho thank god

69. They look great Dongmyeong’s hair looks like vanilla ice cream with strawberry swirls and he’s sitting in a chair and singing doing the choreo with his hands SO CUTEEE

70. The second team is very vocally gifted and has AMAZING HARMONIES WOOOO their main vocal Jinhyung is AMAZING

71. Dongsoo from S.How I think got forced into a rap position and has a leg injury but he’s covering it up from teachers

72. DONGSOO DID SO WELLL SO MUCH BETTER THAN THEYE SHOWED IN PRACTICE THANK U MNET FOR SHOWING HIS PROGRESS

73. EVERYDAY I CHUG (CHUG) EVERY NIGHT I CHUG (CHUG)

74. Team 2 won by like 100 votes, all of the team 1 members are very hopeless, esp Sunghyuk, Team 2 Park Heeseok only got 5 votes holy shitt POOR BABY THIS MUST FEEL SO BAD HE LITERALLY TAUGHT THEM THE DANCE

75. BE MINE BE MINE WOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK THIS SONG WAS MY FIRST EVER KPOP FAVE

76. Hwiseung already did his military service holy shit he looks so young

77. I don’t even know who I am rooting for both those teams are great team 1 has great vocals and teamwork+FNC Hwiseung the power vocal. Team 2 has great dance, more popularity + the little Woojin, Takada Kenta, BNM alpaca Youngmin and oldie Sungwoo

78. Team 1 has an injured ankle too, Yehyun, but he’s still dancing without crutches or anything

79. HWISEUNGS VOCALS SAVED MY LIFE I WANT HIM, JAEHWAN AND WOODAM IN A TRIO PLEASE

80. They changed Sungyeol’s ‘Can you hear me?’ into ‘Pick me pick me’ im ded

81. Kahi is the best teacher I love her so so so much she’s the best thing in this entire show

82. I FORGOT TIPTOES WAS SUNGWOOS NICKNAME THIS IS AMAZING

83. I’m so glad they’re doing Infinite honestly I love Infinite can we do B.A.P or Teen Top or VIXX next

84. Team 2 wins almost exactly by one hundred and the votes are veeeeery equal and Youngmin barely got anything why are the dancers not appreaciated

85. AVENGERS VS BAEKHOS TEAM YOOOOOOOO Baekho has also Sangbin and Guanlin and RBW Lee

86. IM CHOKING THE AVENGERS ALL SOUND LIKE BABIES WHY DID THEY CHOOSES THIS SONG IM CHOKING

87. They can’t really sing, the avengers, damn. They lay it all on Daehwi but like cmon hes 17 and just tryna survive with the popular kids lol

88. AAahahahahah they’re just little kids this is so funny to watch I’m sorry all Avengers fans but like shit when they break into the chest pounding part I just start to laugh their voices are so high don’t get me wrong I looooooove Samuel and Sungwoon but fuck this is funny

89. They should’ve gone with Seventeen or SHINee something with a morer fitting image

90. The Real Fuckbois team is now up fuck I love this team so much aahahahah like no shit they will lose to all of those popular kids but still

91. Oh nooooo Baekho pointed out that the Avengers were cheating and using a third vocal for thhe high note without telling anyone WHAT AN EVIL MAN anyways Baekho produces music and does vocal coaching he knows what he’s talking about lmao lmao

92. THEY LOOK LIKE SUCH DIRTY FUCKBOIS HOLY SHITTTT THIS IS BEAUTIFULthis stage is SO LIT dude I love it they just carried Guanlin as if he was on a throne now both Cube kids get to sit/step on other trainees lmao

93. SOMEONE DID A BACKFLIP WHOS THAT IT’S THE BLONDIE KID WITH A LOOSE TIE ITS LEE INSU

94. Team 2: are fuckbois

Entire dressing room: stands up and claps

It’s true I was there, clapping

95. Guanlin trumped Samuel, Baekho trumped Sungwoon, all other wins go to team 1

96. Am I salty? Yes I am Team 1 won with abt 200 votes. They have more views and likes on YouTube though.

97. Mansae first team got the most votes out of all teams and gets to go to MCountdown IM SO GLAD ALL OF THOSE KIDS WHO AREN’T ON SUCH HIGH RANKS GOT SAVED I’M SO GGLADD

98. I’m SOOOOOOO FUCKING ANGRY SO MANY A AND B RANK TALENTED KIDS ARE IN SUCHHHHHH LOW RANKINGS THIS IS DEPRESSING

99. Lbr for a moment this show really isn’t about talent it’s about popularity and visuals

100. WOODAM GOT FIRST THO IM SO FUCKING AMAZED THIS KID DESERVES IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH DUDEEEEE THAT KID IS SO TALENTED I’M SO GLAD PEOPLE RECIOGNIZED IT

101. SANGBIN FELL TO LAST PLACE WHY ARE THEY GETTING SO SO MANY VOTES 3000 IS TOO FUCKING MUCH IM SO MAD ALSO THEY SHOWED JINWOO FOR A MOMENT AND SANGGYUN IS WORRIED IM SSO SO SADDDDD THE NEXT EP IS ONLY A FEW DAYS AWAY ITS RELEASING ON THE SAME DAY AS BAP ARE IN GERMANY

YOOOOOOOOO Sorry for the screencaps again also pls message or talk to me I am... So Emotional over this show I love everyone i will cry when this is over and I won’t see like 40 of my kidws ever again

4 notes · View notes

rubiaryutheroyal · 8 years ago

Text

When Something Smells It’s Gotta Be Cthulhu - Ep 5

Gyakuten Saiban CoC (Call of Cthulhu)

Uploader: 久瀬さん (Kuze san)

mylist: http://www.nicovideo.jp/mylist/58256490

Ep 5: http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm30649341

Nicoviewer: http://nicoviewer.net/sm30649341

–

This video series is a replay of a CoC game played with the uploader’s family & friends featuring GS characters (Phoenix, Maya, Edgeworth, Larry), with a few tweaks in the dialogue. It follows a scenario provided by kanin @ <http://kanin-hib.hateblo.jp/> called “Touring the Town”.

The real game has begun.

KP: As I said earlier, the investigators wake up before the sun has risen. Yet, you hear the bustling of the town like during the day outside the window, and you find it unnatural. Oh, yeah. The clock reads 6:00.

Edgeworth: Let's go check outside.

KP: In the dimly lit darkness, you see people moving around busily as during the day. They all seem to be going about as usual.

Maya: I wake up Nick, who may be sleeping beside me, saying, "T-there's some kind of noise outside!"

KP: "Ugh... It's still dark out, Maya..." I reply drowsily, but then (Hm? Maya...?) and I wake up flustered.

Larry: Maybe the clock is broken?

KP: It's 6:00 on a 24-hour clock, so it's 6:00 in the morning.

Larry: Then maybe it's just really bad weather? It's gotta be.

Maya: "Oh, sorry, Nick... We just ended up sleeping together like this last night," I tell him, "But seems like people get up really early here..."

Edgeworth: Hm... If the hotel hostesses are already awake, I'd like to ask them a few questions...

KP: Okay, um, one of the workers has passed by just outside your door, greeting you with a "Good morning. What would you like for breakfast?"

Larry: ???

KP: However, however many times you look out, it's still dark outside.

Larry: Hey, do people usually wake up this early?

KP: "I am an employee here, after all." She says that with a smile and asks again, "Good morning. What would you like for breakfast?"

Edgeworth: Hm?

Larry: Uh, but it sounds like everyone else is already awake...

Edgeworth: N-no, thank you, it's a bit early for breakfast. ...Excuse me, but it seems the people in this town wake up rather early, yes? It's not just you.

Maya: H-huh...? Now Nick and I have come out into the hall. "People are pretty busy outside. Is there some kind of festival going on? Are they preparing...?" I ask.

KP: "Good morning. What would you like for breakfast?" The worker once again repeats what she said, completely like a decor piece left in the garden.

Larry: Whatever we say, she just says the same thing!? Scary!!

KP: Yep. That's right, just like talking with any old NPC in a video game.

Larry: H-hello?

Edgeworth: ...We don't need it, ma'am.

KP: "Very well. If you need anything, please let me know."

Edgeworth: U-understood...

KP: Larry thinks, "Somehow, this lady reminds me of a girlfriend I used to know," and Edgeworth thinks she somewhat reminds him of Franziska von Karma.

Larry: Huh? Wait, you don't mean Wendy (temp name), do you...?

Maya: N-Nick... (This lady is kinda weird.)

Phoenix: ...She does seem a little strange.

KP: Well, even after saying that in front of her, the worker simply smiles back.

Edgeworth: Mmph... May we go investigate around the hotel?

KP: Sure. But, you don't find anything different from yesterday. The workers are walking about, and perhaps so are the other guests. All like it was during the day.

(Larry: It's freaking me out!)

(Maya: I-I'm scared...!)

Edgeworth: Let's listen to what the other guests are saying.

KP: Even with the other guests, you can't start up a conversation. They all just repeat the same thing over and over.

Larry: Why are we the only ones who are still normal...?

Maya: This is scary and weird...

KP: As a matter of fact, the only ones who you can converse with are you four.

Larry: Hakkopatra? What about Hakkopatra?

KP: I dunno.

Edgeworth: ...Is this supposed to be some sort of dream or whatnot...?

Maya: All the locals and the guests don't seem... shocked at all, huh...

KP: I then ask, "I hope we'll get something to eat? We should check outside."

Edgeworth: Then let's look around.

Larry: Should we be holding onto something before we go? The whole place feels really freaky and horrifying...

KP: In any case, we should pack up our luggage and head out, and decide where to eat later. If you want, we can keep them as provisions.

Edgeworth: Food, huh... Would we be fine without eating? But then, we'll be moving around on empty stomachs...

Larry: I'm hungry, man. Can't we eat first? It's not like we wouldn't ever return if we just ate something... Anyway, let's just pack up our stuff.

KP: I say we won't get anywhere like this. We should be fine if we eat something.

Maya: So we can go eat?

KP: We can. We won't be getting much of a conversation with people, but they'll at least respond to certain choices.

Edgeworth: When I said "We don't need it" to that worker earlier, she did respond accordingly.

Larry: Okay, let's eat!

Maya: So we'll talk things over back in Nick's room and order something to eat...?

KP: It's still the same helpful desk as yesterday. Or not. You can't really get the same feeling. It's like a system limitation. Anyway, the four of us should gather around think about what to do.

Larry: Then we talk while we eat!!

Edgeworth: First, we should head out and look around... And when our appointment comes, we can go to the library... for the time being.

KP: I agree that we should check outside. We don't really know what's going on.

Maya: "I also think it's all so weird!" I say, but I agree with looking around... but I'll stay close to Nick. It's scary out there...

KP: At least the taste of the food hasn't changed from yesterday. It does feel like we're gnawing on something tasteless, though.

Larry: I may be scared, but the natto is still flavorful...

(Phoenix: Hehe.)

KP: Heading outside into the unknown, you see people going to and fro in the dim moonlight as if it were daytime. They haven't changed from yesterday either; rather, it looks like everything is going as it had been that day.

Maya: Do we have anything we may need in our stuff? Like, something valuable or...?

KP: Well, anything that aren't prohibited items like pruning scissors are okay for PCs to hold. (1)

Edgeworth: I usually keep my personal items on hand anyway, and I don't have many. I'll use this Six Code Compendium as a weapon.

KP: Are you going to use it as a bludgeon?

Larry: The Thinker clock...?

Maya: And now a murder weapon...

Thinker: Now? I think it's 7:00.

Larry: This way, we can even check the time!

KP: Now then... the investigators have come outside, and out in that clear and cloudless night sky, you see "something you could never get used to".

Edgeworth: Mmh...

KP: If you look up there, there's an irregular black circle like the moon floating in the sky and covering up the sun. It's creating a darkness that's not quite from a solar or lunar eclipse, and it swallows up the light, making a completely black, gaping hole in the sky. Dark and darker, a darkness that you've never seen before. You experience a terror that could swallow your mind and soul whole. The investigators will have to roll 1/1D6 for sanity check.

[All roll: Edgeworth, SAN (65) -> 64, success Larry, SAN (75) -> 93, fail Maya, SAN (70) -> 64, success Phoenix, SAN (69) -> 06, success]

[roll: SAN loss (1D6) -> 4]

KP: Everyone loses 1, while Larry loses 4.

Edgeworth: Wh... what is that thing...?

Phoenix: It's... not the moon.

Larry: W-what the heck is thaaat!? It's over! The world is ending!! I cling to Nick!!

KP: Both sides have been held.

Maya: It's so black... What is that...?

Phoenix: Looking at it takes your breath away, doesn't it?

Maya: Don't joke about scary things, Nick!

Edgeworth: ...I don't know what its nature is... In any case, we should check around town. Hopefully, we can find someone to talk to.

KP: You can call it the hole in the sky. Or just "the hole".

Maya: Anyway, let's just check around town...? But no one's going to talk with us...

KP: Well, we haven't yet met someone who can talk. Oh, but other than the darkness, at first glance everything seems to be the same as usual, though you feel uncomfortable with how people are passing by each other as if falling in line. You can roll for idea.

[All roll: Edgeworth, Idea (85) -> 46, success Larry, Idea (50) -> 23, success Maya, Idea (75) -> 82, fail Phoenix, Idea (85) -> 61, success]

Maya: I'm too scared, so I just cling to Nick!!

KP: Then, the three men notice that "everyone is looking like they're recollecting something". Where they once met is scattered all over, but they have the appearance of people they've previously met.

Larry: W-why are they...?

KP: Amidst it all... are those they can no longer meet. Even the dead are mixed in with them. (2)

Larry: Am I the only one who doesn't have someone to see!?

KP: Larry, you also can see them, right? I'll do a sanity check... but everyone can roll too if they want?

Edgeworth: ...The dead cannot be brought back to life. Isn't that right?

Larry: I'm just walking around looking at people without thinking about my past... (3)

KP: Even as the NPC, I'll do a sanity check myself.

[roll: SAN (68) -> 27, no loss]

Maya: Sorry, Nick... I just wanted to come here to check out a power spot and you ended up falling over and getting hurt...

KP: It's fine, Maya... In the middle of town, there's still discomfort mixed in with the scene. A "mineral object" you don't remember seeing is sprouting here and there.

Larry: You mean like the stuff we saw in Limestone Cavern?

KP: The investigators walking through town assume "this object that wasn't here yesterday".

Edgeworth: I'm curious about that cave... but our appointment... Well, I suppose we won't be able to keep it...

KP: Then, I think about the blue nature rocks we saw in that store, and while it's clearly a lot larger than those, it does look quite like them.

Edgeworth: May we examine this stone further?

KP: Examine? How?

Maya: I dunno if we should touch it...

KP: I can be the sacrifice. I'm just an NPC, after all.

Larry: If you're gonna be that careless, then why not me?

Edgeworth: ...We can't let someone who fell do it. Good luck, Larry.

KP: You were holding back Larry earlier, but now you just tell him to sacrifice himself!? (4)

Larry: "Whoa!? What's this!?" I say as I step close and touch it!!

Maya: So carefree!

Phoenix: L-Larry!

Edgeworth: "Hey, Larry!! Don't go and touch it!" Is what my PC says, but well done, Larry.

KP: Uh... How much MP do you have now?

Larry: 15!

KP: Then, your success rate is 75. Give it a roll.

Larry: Huh? Uh, okay.

[roll: ??? (75) -> 15, success]

KP: So, Larry, upon touching a part of it, loses a bit of his body temperature for an instant to the ice-like rock and fortunately moves away in time. After witnessing the strange properties of the mineral, the investigators will roll (0/1D3) for sanity checks.

Larry: Eep!

[roll: SAN (71) -> 33, success]

KP: Hm, didn't drop at all. But, you might not be able to move your right hand's fingers. If you try hard enough, you can still keep them.

(Larry: Gaah!)

(Maya: Waah!)

Phoenix: L-Larry? Are you alright?

Larry: Waaaah!! Wawawaah!! N-N-Niiick!!

Maya: Are you okay, Larry!?

Larry: It's super cold! Freezing!!

KP: You withdraw from the stone in a hurry.

Maya: "What happened?" I say as I help pull him away...

Edgeworth: W-what's wrong, Larry!? That's why I told you not to touch it...!

Larry: It's so cold! It's freezing! I think my fingers are frozen!

Phoenix: Frozen...?

Maya: I-it freezes you!? That's terrible--!!

Edgeworth: ...So it's not something meant to be touched.

KP: We get a sense to leave the mineral alone and not get back to it.

Edgeworth: If he failed, just what would have happened?

KP: Who knows? I even said it was okay that I touch it instead.

Edgeworth: Of course we wouldn't let that happen!

Maya: "N-n-no!! Don't do it, Nick!" I tell him!!

KP: Um, okay then, since the town itself is still functioning as it were, you can still use the hotels, buses, taxis, and such. If you need the town map left at the front and inside the hotel, just ask. And let me know where you'll be going. However, if you ask anything about the mineral, I won't answer.

Edgeworth: Have the accessory straps we bought yesterday changed in any way? If so, we'll toss them.

Maya: Maybe, I'm still holding onto it! Did it change!?

KP: It hasn't. It's safe to touch.

Larry: The townspeople won't answer, will they...? Do they know?

KP: They don't know. Or maybe they do. They'll just repeat the usual dialogue.

Edgeworth: We agreed to meet at the library at 8:00, but I suspect that young lady won't be there...?

KP: If you head there at 8:00, she won't be there.

Edgeworth: ...Can we enter on our own?

KP: It's locked, so you either have to find the key, pick the lock, or break it open.

Edgeworth: Hm... We can't pick the lock... And I figure the library's perimeter won't have anyone with the key. (5)

KP: Nope.

Maya: U-um... So we can't just... borrow it, huh...

Larry: Could we try picking it anyway!?

Edgeworth: Urgh... I'd rather not have to break it... Shall we try picking it? (6)

KP: Initial value is 1.

Edgeworth: Then, it's pointless.

KP: Well, even if you do try something so shady, no one's going to punish you.

Maya: Huh... I get it, but... should we...? Just like that...

KP: There may be someone out there who may be able to talk with you, but everyone around here may just act like NPCs.

Larry: Even Adzukkii and Hakkopatra... (7)

Edgeworth: ...Should we search the town hall again? I have a feeling we may turn up empty, though...

KP: You can search for the key too, there might be some employee you can find.

Maya: Should we go look?

Larry: Let's go for it!

Edgeworth: Hm, we'll search for this employee, and if they aren't cooperative, we'll apologize and borrow the key, for the sake of the truth.

KP: OK. Then, next stop is the town hall. Oh, by the way, there is a scenario for the option to kill an NPC. (8)

Edgeworth: There is...?

Larry: Huh... but aren't we like warriors of light?

Maya: Warriors of light...

Larry: We're no Dark Side! Haaah... there shines a light from behind Nick! ...Wait, behind?

KP: Why are you questioning what you just said yourself?

Larry: I was thinking about it, if you carry Maya on your back, then...

Maya: Huh? Should he carry me?

KP: Maya, as you are now, you're too much...

PC 1: Miles Edgeworth

[SAN: 64]

He's brought both fumbles and criticals. He's also been GM many times, and when he's a PL, he can get a sense for what the GM is planning and he plays with a sound mind and good will. As a GM, he's died to a bad roll and is bothered by it. He's also made three consecutive fumbles (2nd).

PC 2: Larry Butz

[SAN: 71]

Abound with consistent dice eyes. Thanks to that, his CoC runs often have moments of unstoppable insanity. Since he plays characters with lots of energy, he has no choice but to play as "this being known as Larry". He excels at puzzling thought processes, so whether as GM or PL, he leads everyone into confusion.

PC 3: Maya Fey

[SAN: 69]

Abound with consistent dice eyes, but by some special ability, she can also crash and burn. Other than failing sanity checks and evasion, her basic luck is good. The person herself is usually good-natured, yet can also be overexcited, and that creates a PC who often doesn't get what people, herself or others, are really thinking.

KP: Phoenix Wright

[SAN: 68]

Has had many fumbles and many criticals. When faced with dilemmas of many vs alone, he gets really good dice eyes. As the GM, though he doesn't have any fighting skills, he usually gets into fights. Despite the PC he plays, he can last insanely long through endurance battles. He's also made three consecutive fumbles (1st).

Episode 5: Atsuki Town's Bizarre Chapter

(1) According to this KP, he doesn't have any particular restrictions to carry-on items.

(2) During this session, Phoenix sees Mia, Edgeworth sees his father, etc. but due to video complications, they were omitted.

(3) Larry did have a girlfriend he lost back in episode 1-1, but his PL would rather not roleplay it.

(4) The KP is grateful to the players to not let their NPC be their meat shield, but wonders why to this extent?

(5) Whatever their chances, the library is meant to be closed, but the KP keeps that to himself.

(6) As there's not many restrictions on belongings, outside of emergencies, criminal activity will be strictly monitered.

(7) Larry really likes them.

(8) Offering it without context to troubled PLs can raise their intent to kill.

#i translate #nico douga #call of cthulhu #ace attorney

2 notes · View notes