#like if I'm clearly bulshitting myself about something my brain is usually like 'eHMM that is Noot CORREct' or whatever
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little man on my shoulder whispering into my ear: you are SO so correct about everything ever, all of your fears are reasonable and make total sense, you are always right, everyone is silly for not thinking the way you do
little man on my other shoulder: Friendly Reminder That You Have Been Diagnosed With Severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
#chronic game of 'do I GENUINELY dislike this thing - or is my constant fear response just ruining it for me'?#etc. etc. I jest - but I think actually most of the time I'm pretty good at telling the difference because I have this self awareness#like if I'm clearly bulshitting myself about something my brain is usually like 'eHMM that is Noot CORREct' or whatever#So sadly many of my Unpopular Opinions or etc. are just genuinely me having a naturally different beleife#not me being influenced by my fears. because it will be stuff that has nothing to do with my obsessions#But then sometimes it's something like .. cooking in a kitchen with someone else and being like 'ah no we have to lay the utensils down in#this specific ritualistic way' and then I catch myself and am like....... no. actually lay them down however you what. who said that. haha#secret battle going on in my head of 'GRR how dare they open the DOOR the INCORRECT WAY' ... 'ah I have just been informed by experts#actually that there is indeed NO correct way to open a door and I am just insane. Statement is redacted and mood is calmed'#All the while the person walking through the door or whatever is oblivious to my internal monologue#'what are you thinking about? you're kind of quiet' 'oh haha nothing. just hanging out.' *zoom into inside my head and it's two little dudes#rolling around on the floor exchanging punches beating each other to death*#there's a third guy in the corner working on worldbuilding ideas
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