#like idk intracommunal discourse of a kind can be good in the way that like

[genderoutlaws]

Why has there been soooo much biphobic discourse this pride?? When has infighting ever helped us anyways

bruh literally i’ve unfollowed so many ppl on twitter this year over just insane takes hating on bisexuals fr no reason, idk why that was the pick for who to clown on this year lmao. love u tho bisexuals

[rantingcrocodile]

heterosexual people have so many negative stereotypes for us, are trying to tell us who we should date, are trying to completely hide an important part of our sexuality to fit their vision (our ssa), are calling bisexuality immoral and sinful just as homosexuality is to them. my family, they were so disgruntled when they found out. my mom was crying, praying to god that she can have back her good christian daughter again. she blames herself and is so depressed and my family feels similar. i feel like i betrayed them on purpose, letting them think i was a good heterosexual daughter just to stab them in the back.

homosexual people sometimes participate in those things too (not the religious aspects but other things), and gosh, that hurts too, at least to me. ive really looked up to gay people a lot and admired them when i was a child and a teenager, and now to see how they think about me because im bisexual really hurts. many are genuinely great to me, but its just painful to see those couple who are only tolerating me to be in this community. i feel like a huge burden to them. i feel like i should just pretend to be straight because i feel like simply telling gay people im bisexual makes them feel annoyed and irritated. i never had the guts to call out the things some of them have said, because i dont want anyone to think im homophobic and i dont want them to dislike me even more. they probably dont dislike me at all but it just kind of feels that way. im so sad. do i shut up about being ssa and just go with the straights? or do i shut up about my osa and be with the gays? idk, pretending to be straight sounds better, because if i pretended to be lesbian id just be taking advantage of oppressed people for my own selfish reasons. but if i pretend to be straight id feel like im leaving my people behind and using my privilege to escape, something most gay people would kill for.

It doesn't help and you can't win. There's no "privilege" to be had here, because it still boils back down to being forced to closet yourself, and being closeted is never a "privilege." (If we actually believed that, then there would be discourse over the "privileged lesbians" who stayed single and celibate to pretend that they were "straight women," and the same for single, celibate gay men pretending to be "straight men," where we know that's clear homophobic nonsense.)

I can say this completely unironically, because I have very painful experience both ways, but being bisexual in LGB spaces often feels just like being Jewish in anti-racism spaces.

The heterosexuals know that we're bisexual and both hate and oppress us for being bisexual, but then biphobic LG people state that we can "pass as straight," that that somehow makes us "privileged," and therefore we're just part of the oppressors.

White people know that we're Jewish and both hate and oppress us for being Jewish, but then antisemitic POC state that lighter-skinned Jews can "pass as white," that that somehow makes us "privileged," and therefore we're just part of the oppressors.

When there are LG biphobes, that's still harmful intracommunity bigotry being perpetuated that the biphobic straight oppressors latch onto, and that harmful bigotry ends up absolving the straight oppressors of their biphobic actions and beliefs.

When there are antisemitic POC, that's still harmful intracommunity bigotry being perpetuated that the antisemitic white oppressors latch onto, and that harmful bigotry ends up absolving the white oppressors of their antisemitic actions and beliefs.

It comes right down to the basics of ignorance, where, in LGB spaces, the actual root of oppression is ignored for "straight people just hate same-sex attraction" as opposed to the truth that "straight people just hate everything that isn't straight," in exactly the same way that the actual root of racist oppression is ignored for "white people just hate anyone who isn't light-skinned" as opposed to the truth that "white people hate anyone who isn't their complete definition of whiteness."

A bisexual who lies and pretends to be straight is only "safe" with that minority stress hanging over their heads and the fear of being found out and the consequences of being found out. A Jewish person who lies and pretends to be white is only "safe" with that minority stress hanging over their heads and the fear of being found out and the consequences of being found out. Having that minority stress and very real, constant fear or the anguish of feeling in limbo is seriously damaging to mental health, which impacts self-esteem, confidence, encourages addiction and creates vulnerability which is sniffed out by abusers to then weaponise and control.

The difference between being bisexual and Jewish (from my own perspective, you know, actually living this) is that there are plenty of Jewish spaces where Jews can regularly come together, block out the antisemitic world, be together and actually have at least some others come out to our defence and fight against antisemitism. It's not taken nearly as seriously as it should be, there are a lot of Jews with internalised antisemitism, but there are a lot of voices that speak out, there are well-known organisations and there are real support networks, both online and offline, easily accessed. When POC are antisemitic, there are criticisms of that and it is treated like a bad thing in many cases.

For bisexuals... there's really nothing. Nobody takes biphobia seriously. When there are biphobic LG, no one aside from a few bisexuals care. The biggest organisations (let me roll my eyes at saying that) have been overtaken by TRAs that include straight people, marginalising ordinary bisexuals even more. There are no easy-access communities. It's incredibly difficult to find more than a handful of bisexuals to speak about our oppression.

All it does is empower the oppressors. In the same way that POC antisemites end up being racist to other groups and accidentally defend white people to attack Jews, the biphobic LG (and B) end up being homophobic and accidentally defend straight people to attack bisexuals.

It's fucked up and it's all designed to support oppressors while oppressing us even more. It's intracommunity bigotry that needs to be taken seriously.

The hypothetical rich, white woman is still a victim of misogynistic oppression, just as the closeted bisexual in an opposite-sex relationship is still a victim of biphobic oppression.

There are simply too many ignorant people in this space (and beyond) that refuse to understand these most basic concepts because they'd rather engage in TRA-style "oppression olympics" and "enjoy" being able to say "but I'm the most oppressed!" instead of accepting that there are the oppressors, and then there are the oppressed who are oppressed in different individual ways by the very same oppressors. That none of us are more important than the other, but that we all need to fight together to end the shared root of oppression against us all.

But really, far too few are ready to hear that.