#like i've posted a pic of my stomach where im sucking in to make me look as flat as possible

[g0thsoojin]

what the fuck is up with people on the internet thinking they know anything about the real you or your life just because they've seen a small fraction you've shared online?

[putmeingraves]

Im noticing ive been spending more time lately comparing myself to others and being unhappy with the way I look (my weight) and even just comparing myself to myself. In the last year alone I've gone up two sizes and it's all fat. It's not muscle. Only muscle on my damn body is my damn ass calves. I have stretch marks on my stomach. Im pretty sure I didn't have those a year ago. I just want to be able to take cute pics of myself in my undies and feel comfortable going into public pools and just feel good and confident and not worry about my side angles and be attractive and make my partner want to always post pics of me cause I look so good and just im not happy with myself and I can only blame myself. I am a product of my own actions, having taken antidepressants had side effects that fucking sucked and weight gain was one of them. It helped me get through a rough patch in my life, sure, and I'm no where near as bad as I once was but I'm unhappy with my body now and I didn't used to be and I'm struggling with it. It makes me be insecure and weary and I've seen that affect certain things in my relationship and its SO stupid because I fucking know better and haven't been insecure about myself since like highschool and that was many many years ago and this is just dumb and I'm sad. Whatever.