#like i'm not a particularly brave person when it comes to any kind of nonconformity i just didn't have a second option
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What's the most recent thing you've been obsessed with? x
my girlfriend being, like, a cis woman of they/them experience
#i really admire when people who are cis have like#thought about and explored their gender a lot in order to arrive there#i know i was in deep denial about my gender and sexuality for years and like#only properly interrogated them out of necessity because i felt like i didn't have another choice and couldn't go on as i had been#i really admire when people have the courage to ask questions about that kind of thing#knowing that whatever you find out about yourself could require your life to change#i was really scared for a long time about how my life might have to change if i ever admitted that i like#was a lesbian or wasn't cis#i think deliberately seeking out that kind of self-knowledge knowing that it could change your life is like#very brave and self-respecting and intelectually honest in a way i admire a lot#i think something i've had to accept about myself is that as much as people tend to react to me as a bit eccentric or unconventional#i do have a strong reflexive urge to fit in and not stand out in any way#and if i were actually good at acting or passing or whatever i could have lived very comfortably in denial for a long time#like i'm not a particularly brave person when it comes to any kind of nonconformity i just didn't have a second option#i admire people who actively choose to explore their identities the same way i admire my friends who like#grew up really christian and deconstructed even though it must be really frightening to question something that structures your whole like#life and worldview#it takes a moral and intellectual courage and honesty that i just really really admire and draw a lot of inspiration from#sorry for the ramble i bave insomnia#anonymous#ask and receive
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