#like i know the gods are the assholes they really are in tsoa and that's not compatible with hades supergiant games. but you know

[elvesofnoldor]

Artemis at Zagreus: hey, if you ever see that guy, achilles, from the trojan war, you go tell him i think he’s the best ok 

me, from the other side of the laptop screen: weren’t you the goddess who  demanded the leader of the greek army heading to troy for the trojan war to make a human sacrifice to you just so that you can stop having a fit over them killing a deer or was that somebody else 

[beautifulterriblequeen]

"I have done it." - a TSOA Thetis meta

So I've been listening to the audiobook of The Song of Achilles, by Madeline Miller, for the past week or so, and I just finished the last 3 hours yesterday all in one go because I physically could not do anything else until I reached the end (except cry. I cried. a lot.)

I have two quick thoughts and then I'm going to Muse Deeply And Ramblingly about Thetis, Achilles' mom.

First off, The Song of Achilles is fanfiction. It is, obviously and patently so (at least to my eyes), and considering Madeline Miller's credentials (BA and MA in Classics), I assume that this literary framing was selected entirely and deliberately on purpose, in accordance with longstanding historical traditions. And I love and support her for this. It's amazing, it's brilliant, it's clever, and reading the one-star reviews for her book from people who don't understand this angle and are Affronted™ is some of the best evidence for its fanfic-ness. And also quite entertaining.

Secondly, absolutely mad props to the narrator, Frazer Douglas, who is more than capable of Doing All The Voices and makes everyone genuinely come to life with his voice alone. His soft British accent goes in a jaw-droppingly wide range of directions to cover everyone from the Thor-like Achilles to the breathy Briseis to the absolute death-metal guitar string screech of Thetis. I even heard an Aussie accent for one character, and another had a nearly undetectable Scottish accent that got thicker when he got upset. This man is just a delight.

If you have 11 hours to spare, give it a listen (it's just out there on YT). It's worth it for Frazer Douglas's voice alone, but you also get an epic tragic romance full of war and family drama and sad gay boys who would do anything for each other - and they do, repeatedly.

Alright, Thetis. Haven't been able to stop thinking about her all night/morning, so I need to write it out and see where I'm at. I'll do a cut for spoilers and cw stuff, because her story is uhhh, not happy.

spoilers for TSOA, going all the way to the end

cw: discussion of sexual assault, trauma, sociopathy, bigotry, manipulation of children

Thetis is a sea nymph, a goddess, who's just minding her damn business when this mortal dude named Peleus tackles her on the beach one day, using tips he got for how to catch himself a goddess-wife, because bros are pals like that for each other I guess. He assaults her, and the gods tell her she has to stay with him for a year because uhhh conquest and male rights, I guess. Sure. Thanks, guys, you're fab, love your system, so wholesome, very family oriented-

ohh I'm salty in here, wow who could have preDICTED

SO. So she grits her teeth and does her damned duty and stays for a year, and bears him Achilles, half-mortal, half-god.

A golden son with golden hair. Her hair is long and black like sea wrack. He does not look like her.

He can sing like an angel and play the lyre. She speaks with the sound of tumbling stones in the waves. He does not sound like her.

She got turned into an oven, a vessel, to create this kid. She's very salty about it, even for a sea nymph, and rightfully so. Lost a year of her life to this mortal asshole who just wanted to bone a goddess, and the product of that attack doesn't resemble her at all - only him. Only the mortal piece of shit who attacked her on the beach.

She shows up for events, she comes in like the estranged mom at a family reunion, gritting her teeth, speaking to no one, leaving as soon as she can. The only reason she bothers, is for Achilles - or is it?

Is it really? Does she love her son, or does she just hate his father more?

The book is told from Patroclus' perspective, as the boy who gets a crush on the godlike Achilles, and who is despised by his crush's mom. The layers of Patroclus' youth and perspective as a new and confused suitor really help to obscure Thetis' motives further. He doesn't know her, and he's actively trying to avoid her, or at least avoid angering her. And the best way to do that seems to be to stay out of her sight.

So, early on, it's hard to tell what Thetis is thinking. But in retrospect, I think she was primarily out for revenge on Peleus. She comes to see Achilles rarely, but she does tell him about prophecies and plans. She wants him to become a full god.

If he's 100% god, see, then there won't be any trace of his manipulative, gross, mortal father in him anymore. He will be fully hers. She's trying to cleanse her child of the taint of his father's mortality, because she feels tainted by it still. Elevate her son to godhood, and Peleus ceases to be relevant.

The gods are immortal, generally, and mortals come and go like the tide. They're not really important, and they blend together. One is as good - or as bad - as another. Until a specific mortal grabs Thetis on the beach, that is. That one mortal, oho boy, he made sure she remembered his face, but in the stupidest way possible. She just quietly decided to block him from the acclaim and renown that his son might fetch for him, by removing him from his son's system and making Achilles 100% god.

The Greeks had a lot of names and nicknames for each other, and a common one was the patronymic. For Achilles, he was called "Pelides", meaning "son of Peleus". It was a part of his identity.

So. Everything she does in the book, before Achilles falls in battle at Troy, is aimed not truly at elevating her son for his own sake, but at destroying every bit of mortality in him, because she hates Peleus - and by extension, she hates all mortal men. Because, again, they're all the same to her.

There is no "Thetis" in "Pelides." Peleus just waltzing in here, taking what he wants, and getting immortalized in his demigod son's nickname?

Thetis: I THINK THE FUCK NOT

And that includes Patroclus. This kid shows up, playing nice to her son, and all she sees is another mortal man with designs on his mind. She's wrong, of course. Can't see past her trauma and rage. So she actively tries to split them apart, to drive wedges, to threaten, intimidate, insult. She isn't subtle, either. She is very blunt.

And there is a sort of patience to her actions. She could kill Patroclus anytime she wanted to. But she doesn't need to kill him - he's mortal already. And killing him would anger Achilles, her weapon of choice against mortal men. She wants her plan to go smooth. It's not about Achilles, yet. It's still about Peleus.

This gets pretty ugly when Thetis kidnaps Achilles right out of bed with Patroclus one night, after no doubt listening in with her powers and hearing Achilles say that if Patroclus' oath forces him to war, then Achilles will go with him. She spirits him away to an island kingdom and makes him marry and sleep with Deidameia, the overweening princess there.

Her motive, as stated later, is to keep Achilles from going to war, since that is where he is fated to die, and she has Other Plans. But the marriage really didn't need to happen for him to remain hidden. In fact, that's what trips her up when Patroclus finally learns where Achilles was taken: Deidameia's proprietary attitude over him when he bolts from the dancing girls where he's in disguise and runs straight to Patroclus. That, and her spoiled rich girl attitude through all the scenes that follow.

Thetis why.

She's trying to do too many things at once, and so she ends up not quite accomplishing any of them. She can't hide Achilles very well because Patroclus truly loves him and looks until he finds him. She can't scrape Patroclus off of Achilles' heart, either, because Achilles truly loves him, too.

And then there's the horrible reenactment of her own assault, which she foists on her son. Achilles doesn't want to sleep with Deidameia but Thetis bribes him by promising to tell Patroclus where he is. And then she doesn't. It's not quite the same as Peleus' assault on her, but it's still very horrible. Achilles doesn't want this, and she forces the situation anyway.

Way to learn from the past, Thetis. Oh, wait, no no, that's not what's happening - or is it? There's a little wiggle room here, where she doesn't force force Achilles, as she was forced. She uses a different technique. Her choices are still terrible and cruel, and she is still mostly thinking about herself. She's telling herself "I'm not like them, I won't do that to someone," and she doesn't, but she does something so similar and horrible that many people would see the two manipulations as effectively the same.

Don't tell Thetis that, though. She's trying very hard not to be her demons, and she'd take that feedback poorly. Unfortunately, she still has a very long way to go. Gods don't learn things quickly.

She shows up years into the siege of Troy to drop the prophecy bomb about "the best of the Myrmidons will be dead in two years, but Achilles will live," and Achilles and Patroclus literally sit around and try to guess who that could possibly be.

It's Patroclus, has to be, obviously, but these boys are so battle-focused that they don't consider that a soft dude who spends his time in the healers' tents to be the best of them all. War is all they've known, for ten years now, almost half their lives, and basically all of their romantic relationship.

But I love how this isn't Thetis's prophecy, she's just spinning it. She delivers it to make sure that Achilles hears he can live without Patroclus (ahaha SPOILERS), but at the same time, its wording honors Patroclus as worthy and good! And Thetis can't give the part of the prophecy she likes without giving the part she hates. The part that says that a mortal man is as honorable as her son, the son she has been trying to erase mortality from. What kind of prophetic bullshit is this??

But it serves her ends, so she does it. And apparently the boys never figure it out, so in the end it's just as well.

But then, the unthinkable: Patroclus appeals to Achilles, begs him as his most beloved to hear him out, trying to help, and Achilles listens... softens... and loses Patroclus. The best of the Myrmidons. And promptly falls apart in rage and guilt and grief.

The prophecy said he'd live. It didn't say how well, nor how long. I wonder, because the book doesn't say, how Thetis handled this part. Seeing her son drowning in his grief, seeing him slay hero after hero while hoping only to perish and end his lonely suffering. Did it occur to her here, how different his reaction was to her furious daydreams about news that Peleus had died, or to killing him herself?

She would have screamed with riotous glee, and the shores would've been devastated by her chaotic power.

Achilles was those shores, and Patroclus' death was his ruin.

It must've baffled her, utterly utterly baffled her. He would not be swayed from his course, to die and end, and then to spend his eternity mingled with Patroclus.

I imagine Thetis went through a very slow, angry, reluctant series of baby steps as she struggled to understand: Why is my son different than me? Why can't he see what I see? Why does he think he wants something I despise? But, see, she must have. Very quietly, very mulishly - gods really are slow sometimes - because of where she got to at the very end.

But there's one more piece to Thetis's puzzle of trauma and guilt and grief and anger: Pyrrhus.

Pyrrhus was the nickname given to Neoptolemus, Achilles' only child, with Deidameia. It means "fiery", because he was a redhead. And he had a prophecy, too: Troy would never fall until he showed up to fight there. So he went, when he was apparently 12 years old!

The book takes time early on to show how skilled Achilles was at that age, thanks to his god blood, so there's a case to be made that Pyrrhus had the same boon in his veins - knowledgeable and skilled beyond his years.

This, however, does not go well for anyone, because of one tragic difference between Achilles and Pyrrhus:

Of the two god-blooded boys, only one of them was raised with Thetis' help. And it wasn't Achilles.

Imagine: You've stolen your son from his teenage lover's bed, manipulated him into taking a wife, and your plan to make him into a full god is going swimmingly - until said teenage lover shows up. Achilles bolts from his wife to the boy he calls "husband", your pick of wives starts shouting pettily about all the secret plans she was supposed to shut up about, and in the end, Achilles leaves for the war you were trying to keep him away from all along - with his preferred lover in tow. And you're left behind with this prissy pregnant bitch, her doddering kingly father, and the house of cards holding up your grand plans. What to do?

Start all over with the baby, of course.

Except now, possibly, Thetis is even angrier at humanity than she was before! Twelve years to shape a bright young hero's mind with every little consideration you never shared with Achilles, because now the anger burns hotter than the pain. Whether she meant to or not, I think Thetis turned Pyrrhus into a monster.

He's written very differently than pretty much every hero in the Greek epics. His flaws are not the common sort: greed, selfishness, fear, horniness, cowardice. Oh no. Pyrrhus' flaws are violent, knowing no bounds, honoring no conventions. He kills King Priam of Troy atop an altar - and in one historical version he does it by using a baby as a blunt weapon. He takes a queen as a slave, sacrifices a princess atop his father's tomb, steals another man's fiancée because he wants her for himself.

What a charmer. In TSOA he's first introduced to us as a snotty kid who genuinely believes he can do Anything Tee Emm. So, since he holds his father's honor above all else, he denies Patroclus' name being added to Achilles' monument and therefore traps Patroclus' soul there, preventing him from finding relief and rest in the afterlife, separating him from Achilles. Pyrrhus did that on purpose - of course he knows how that works.

What stands out to me is that Pyrrhus' targets are, notably, not other heroes. His father faces Hector, Penthesilea, Memnon, Troilus. Pyrrhus attacks an old king, a baby, women, the helpless.

Pyrrhus attacks people who are very, very mortal.

He's no coward. He was one of the warriors inside the Trojan Horse. But the way he's portrayed in TSOA, he really seems to have adopted a big, toxic Us vs Them superiority complex. Humanity is weak and bad and terrible, and the gods are strong and powerful. And strength is goodness, see, because with strength, you can make bad things not happen to you.

By making them happen to other people first.

That is what Pyrrhus goes out and does, over and over. He wreaks horrible death and disaster and he thinks that's just the way things go.

Which, karmically, it is, because eventually he goes too far, and someone finally kills him for his atrocities.

That karma echoes, too: Pyrrhus' doom came when he stole Orestes' bride, Hermione and assaulted her, and Orestes, son of Agamemnon, killed him for it.

What is Thetis to do with that?

She has created the monster she hates most, and he earned the fate she wished for the worst of humanity.

It's unclear how much time passes at the very end of the book, when Patroclus' soul is trapped at Achilles' monument. Perhaps it takes Thetis a long time to seek out her son's grave marker. Perhaps she goes there immediately. Either way, it's clear that, deep down, she understands: Achilles was, all along, the better man.

Part of what made him better than Pyrrhus was Patroclus. Part of what made Pyrrhus worse... was Thetis.

She didn't know Patroclus was trapped there, but once she does, she begins to talk to him, to ask him for memories. She has to ask, because she cannot visit the underworld, and Achilles is already entirely lost to her. She held herself away from Achilles all his life, from his humanity, from his very human relationship and loyalty, and so she didn't truly know him. She never wanted to know that side of him, his father's side of him. But she formed Pyrrhus without any humanity at all - and he became monstrous.

Perhaps she truly doesn't know what she did wrong. Perhaps she's just lost, adrift, having no weapons to stab humanity with anymore, and she's tired.

Perhaps asking to hear of her son from the man who loved him most is as close as a god can get to asking forgiveness.

And bless Patroclus for having, in those moments, enough humanity left in his soul to share the Achilles he knew, with the woman who should've loved them both. He's in torment, alone, unable to move on or reunite, and he has no hope of that changing, and the god he hates most in all the world has come to him. He is angry, he is fearless. And he chooses to be gentle anyway. To give her the softest truths of Achilles' life, to show her how very precious and human he was to him.

Two broken people, one dead, one immortal, finding a single moment together over a man who was both god and man. And because of their willingness and determination to keep reaching for something better, even in extremis, they both manage to find a little more humanity. For Patroclus, it is his last. For Thetis, her first.

She carves his name on the monument next to Achilles', marking and remembering him, and freeing his soul to join her son in the afterlife. She doesn't promise or claim the action. She does it silently, and tells him only when it is done, when it is unchangeable.

For a sea nymph, carving something in stone is a wildly powerful act. It is usually the act of centuries, of millennia, the slow grind of will. But Thetis, for once in her endless life, acts swiftly, on a mortal's timetable - as if honoring the short time that Patroclus had on the earth, and with her son.

She doesn't want to waste another moment - not of her time - but of theirs. Finally, there on the withering grass beside her son's memorial, she understands that her experience with mortal men is not a universal, that Achilles truly loved Patroclus, and that his love was pure and beautiful. That Patroclus adored Achilles, too, and never wished to possess him or control him, only to be allowed to remain at his side, no matter where in the wide world they might go.

No matter in any world, above or below.

She had tried to separate them in life, for her own vengeance. But with Patroclus' words in her mind, she could not in good conscience let them remain so in death. It would've been easy for any mortal to join them together again: a simple carving, a single word, and he would be free.

Easier still, then, for a goddess.

"I have done it."

Thetis did not deserve Peleus' attack. She did nothing to invite it. She struggled with rage and disgust for decades as a result. But the purity of the love between Patroclus, a mortal, and Achilles, a demigod, finally reached her heart, behind all its walls. Sometimes when we are hurt and cowering and lashing out at everyone around us, all we really want to hear is that, Yes, there is real love in the world, and it is beautiful and strong and unbreakable even by horror and betrayal and privation and death.

Love is stronger than the things that hurt us.

It's the end of the book, but it's the beginning of eternity for Achilles and Patroclus, and they get to spend it together because of her, despite all the cruelty and chaos she caused them before. So I hope it's the beginning of a new day for Thetis, too.

[caffernnn]

Omg how about this...makoharu but Patrochilles AU! from illiad (tho I'm gonna use the tsoa (the song of achilles) ver for this) with makoto as patroclus and haru as Achilles (i know the physical features don't match patroclus has dark hair and Achilles has blond hair and green eyes and looks closer prob to makoto but achilles is also kinda feminine looking??? As he was able to hide for a long time disguised as a girl)

Not to mention achilles was the son of a sea nymph (wow the water relationship yippee and lived by the sea)

Like in the tsoa book patroclus is described as this shy young boy (i mean he was exiled by his own father but that wouldn't happen to our bby mako in canon would it) then he was sent to achilles' kingdom and was all lonely and Achilles was this boy who everyone flocked to but then went to point patroclus and said "him...i choose him" imagine the playground scene from tm

Fast forward to a few years later with a bff relationship too close to have a heterosexual explanation and achilles is hailed as this prodigy (see the parallel?!?!) And patroclus known as his closest companion and they were swimming together in instances in the book

fast forward again to the war where after every raid achilles comes home and patroclus welcomes him (fuck the "okaeri" "tadaima" is strong in this one) patroclus considering himself a weak warrior becomes a healer and manages to befriend the entire army (if this isn't makoto) and achilles goes "how do you know their names?" "They're my friends" "ugh so many" also patroclus is known as the Achilles-tamer like "achilles is throwing a tantrum quick find patroclus" (very similar to "haru-chan is stripping quick mako-chan!) Rin as odysseus the sassy friend who's like "ugh i know you're gay for each other quit with the pda" and sousuke as agamemnon the asshole Achilles refuses to acknowledge (come on we know the beef between haru and sou) and kisumi as briseis who at one point in the book admitted to like patroclus and achilles got jealous over that (haru def got jealous over kisumi during that steal yo mako flashback in s2)

Gosh hiyori as hector who refuses to return helen which would def be ikuya (guys see the parallelism!!!) And let's not acknowledge the lack of paris, or maybe asahi as paris idk then agamemnon does the dick move of taking briseis from achilles due to some spat (honestly rin and kisumi could switch and let the makorinharu shippers go wild since pat, bri, and achilles hung out like a 3some anyway but more makorin instead of rinharu (in other versions the rinharu could be stronger tho since briseis was Achilles' war prize anyway but that's not the point since we're following tsoa)) and here comes the beef between sousuke and haru making its way into the AU

Achilles goes to sulk and refuses to fight hector (tho it was haru who challenged hiyori to a race in canon) odysseus went to patroclus and went "he only listens to you talk the shit out of him" (this would only work if rin was odysseus)

patroclus wanted to fight for him instead (agghh the showdown between makoto and hiyori) and well...patroclus lost and died (is it a coincidence makoto lost that race too?)

Here comes the mcd angst and achilles mourns (imagine if makoto didn't wake up from his drowning and the look of despair on haru escalated gosh imagine the grieving) the gods at the bottom of the sea heard him and he goes apeshit on hector and killed him (he did win against hiyori after all) and fought until he died bc life without pat is meaningless so similar to "it's meaningless without you" (he was really eager to follow him into the afterlife)

That's about it since the later parts arr hard to fill in (no obe would be able to fill up phyrrhus' role that demon child) and it's difficult to find roles for rei and nagisa (maybe nagisa as achilles' charioteer automedon) and maybe sasabe as chiron the centaur their teacher/no. 1 shipper and amakata as phoinix achilles' mentor but anyway all is well and that's all there is thank you for your time reading this

PS: I've been thinking about this AU for makoharu since i read the iwaoi ver of this named achilles wept but I'm not a great writer so i can only indulge myself in hcs

PPS: I'm the anon who who sent the herc and meg ask haha

Oh dang you WENT OFF, modern myth AU anon 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 so many great parallels!! I haven’t gotten around to reading TSOA yet but the few things I know about it and some of the quotes I’ve seen… WHEW. One thing I love seeing people explore in different AUs with makoharu is how their love for each other can be so intense that it often borders on impending tragedy. Their devotion to each other is beautiful until something happens that makes it mix with their lack of self-preservation to cause a huge explosion, whether that means self-sacrifice (usually Makoto) or confused, grief-stricken rampages (usually Haru). It’s this complicated but ever-present piece of their dynamic that screams “I know you would die for me, but just this once, could you live for me instead?”

Also while we’re talking about Achilles, may I suggest a makoharu take on Achilles Come Down because that song is always a bop

[andessence]

me, going in to the “an arrow’s flight” tags for good pyrrhus content and finding next to nothing: :/ me, going into the general pyrrhus tag for any pyrrhus content and finding it flooded with hate from song of achilles fans: >:/

listen y’all i’m a tSoA stan too but we CANNOT possibly pretend to convince ourselves that madeline miller didn’t do other characters dirty to advance/give sympathy to her OTP. in some cases common iliad interpretation is subverted which is cool but other times facts are straight up IGNORED. it even happens with the main character like !!! patroclus’s funeral is before priam comes to beg for hector’s body back, but miller needed another reason for achilles to gently angst and correct a Straight Fool saying “sorry for the loss of your friend” so fuck the iliad’s timeline! it also probably wouldn’t do to have achilles squash reader sympathy by dragging hector’s corpse all around patroclus’s tomb but anyway.....

shit man before i even talk about pyrrhus i GOTTA say that she made some Real Questionable choices about patroclus’s representation too. i love that boy, i really do, and i think if miller’s characterization existed without precedent it would be totally fine but the undeniable uwu-ification of Soft Boi Sweet Baby patroclus is !! fucking rude and also pretty lame in imagination as it seems to say that one of our gays has to “really behave like the girl” and that’s !! wack !! yeah patroclus isn’t the legendary warrior achilles is.. but that DOESN’T MEAN you make him constitutionally unable to fight and relegate him to the office of femininity in order to code him gay!! it’s demeaning !! YES he can be good at medicine and YES he can think the war is terrible given his specific circumstances of “destined to lose my love in the war” and he can be sympathetic as a conduit character but it’s pretty fucking broke that miller clearly thought that it was necessary to make his character feminine in order to overtly show the gay relationship. it reeks of the “okay but which of you gays is really the man and which is really the woman” rhetoric

so KNOWING DEAD ASS that miller fudges characters to get the means for her love story, you gotta admit her treatment of pyrrhus is really fucking wack. yeah accounts of him generally seem to concur that he was Harsh and Rigid and Made Questionable Human Sacrifices but the specific way miller chooses to portray him is... hhhhh. okay so she wraps it in this guise of “he’s had all  the humanity bred out of him by thetis and therefore He’s Evil And We Hate Him, right?” but we’ve spent this WHOLE ASS BOOK talking about how war and society at large make monsters of us and that even a pacifist like patroclus becomes consumed by the glory of battle in the heat of it, so making your Unredeemable Asshole someone who’s human sense to hate violence is worn down by gods sort of mixes our symbolism up. is it man that corrupts himself? the gods? society? miller’s fucking up the clarity of that message with thetis creating this pyrrhus. it’s ALSO fucked because we spent the whole book building sympathy for achilles by patroclus saying “wow if achilles were raised by his mother he would have been cold and heartless and that makes me feel for the softness that could be lost in his demigod body” but pyrrhus LITERALLY UNDERWENT that tragic dehumanizing and suddenly we’re supposed to hate that instead of empathize with it! 

and of COURSE we had to put the last nail in the coffin of empathy for pyrrhus by having him try to r*ape briseis because miller has been using r*pe as a shorthand for evil this whole time and that sure doesn’t feel tacked on or oversimplified at all! and we have Woke Boy Patroclus whose opinions about women’s rights are SO anachronistic that everyone else looks like a monster (to be fair, it IS monstrous, but i can see the pandering in patroclus being our Feminist Good Guy from a mile away).

and making pyrrhus your plot contrivance not  to bury achilles and patroclus together right away?? idk abt that one buddy! feels like u needed just 1 more homophobic hurdle to overcome and u dropped that burden on pyrrhus! because pyrrhus being the hetero asshole ? y’all EVER read up on pyrrhus pre-troy? the whole ass episode with philoctetes? ENORMOUSLY GAY (even when i don’t mention how some modern retellings make it explicitly gay). the ONLY way i buy pyrrhus trying to stop achilles’ associated memory with patroclus is as desperation for honor and HMMMM WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT! that’s the theme we always return to as achilles’ tragic flaw and that is made SYMPATHETIC AS HELL in achilles because when prophesies control your life and you can’t choose happiness, memory and honor are all you have, but when PYRRHUS makes bad choices to maintain honor and memory then suddenly it’s entirely unsympathetic and evil of him!

i’ll say it again i fucking love the song of achilles but i can do that while also acknowledging that it told a specifically manipulated and narrow narrative that left lots of character complexity on the cutting room floor

and if i have to live my damn life going through the pyrrhus tags just to see blind, belligerent “fuck you pyrrhus! patrochilles 4 LYFE” sentiment, i’m going to lose my fucking mind!

[bcydbeaulieu]

tagged by @hsinlvegas, i mean who else would make me do this. lasdkjf this was forever ago but oh well.

EM’S QUESTIONS

If you had a time machine, would you go back in time or visit the future? Future? I think. I don’t really have any need to go back into the past past. like i’d really want to see where i am 10 years from now. either it’d make me feel less stressed or you know terrible. alsdjf

How can you describe yourself in a sentence? I am way too busy and stressed to be on tumblr but all i want to do is rewatch like 20 shows and read a new book. 

What super-power would you most like to have, and why? The power to heal i think. it’d be nice to make people feel better and be happy in that moment. also myself. 

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? A plane ticket to Australia to see emily, a plane ticket to see haley, and a plane ticket to seattle to see my brother. 

Three places you want to travel to? Australia, Singapore, and some island off the coast of nowhere. 

What is your biggest unpopular opinion? HA. i have two and i’d never speak of one of them because it would upset people and they’re nice people and oh no wait i have 3. the second is about one of emily’s favorite characters and it’s an unpopular opinion to her. and the 3rd well people know but im just not gonna bring that up nope. moving on. 

Write a short headcanon for a fandom we have in common. It’s in your TSOA hardback emily. Pat and Achilles don’t die and live happily ever after on a mountain somewhere and die of old age and are HAPPY!

Do you believe in luck, miracles and fate? Yep, i have too much faith and grew up with too much faith not to. The people i have in my life are a testament to the all three of these. 

Who are you most comfortable around? *mumbles* i don’t wanna say her name again god. but no seriously emily is #1, my best friend since literal like 3rd grade sunday school ben, my son, and haley my best friend since junior high who i shared all my horrifying first shows with. 

Favorite books/series? I will say Harry Potter till i’m on my death bed and beyond but also the raven cycle. 

Top 5 reasons you love me. you’re an asshole, you cried before you even got to the emotional parts of my package, you’ve introduced me to so many people i now love, we share everything and i trust you with everything, you make me happy. 

Laura’s Questions

The movie/show/book that you pick up when life is just too much?

Tell me 2 things you love about a member of your family?

What’s your place in the world that makes you feel safe?

The first show that you watched that made you realize oh no this could be a problem for my productivity?

What would you name a pet if i gave you one right at this moment?

Favorite character, don’t think too hard just go with your gut.

What does your dream home/house look like?

If you could have any career without having to worry about money/smarts/anything what would it be?

Tell me something about someone, give me a secret you’ve been holding in.

If you listen to music while reading books do you always get the same feeling with that song once you’ve finished the book, is there always a stop in time when that song plays?

What music did you grow up on, what did your parents blast in the car and now that song is nostalgia when you hear it?

Ehhh i don’t want to tag anyone everyone feel free, except emily you have to do this!!!

[astion]

A Giant TOZ Fic Rec List

ive been wanting to make a fic rec list forever and now i finally can!!! i havent read every fic in the fandom obviously so this isnt an exhaustive list, but these are some of my personal favs, many of them well-known and some of them not!! most of these are sormik, but theres a few other ships mixed in

ive linked peoples blogs if i can find them, if not, ive just put a link to their ao3 profile

stranger in a strange land (by Authoress / @kiribakus) - rated t, sormik arranged marriages and fancy mikleos and wingman lailah and rose and really, really honestly good writing (as always), whats not to like?

Method Acting (by Metis_Ink) - rated t, sormik + dezerose I WOULD DIE FOR THIS FIC its one of my absolute favs theres so much pining and tension and a FAKE RELATIONSHIP and amazing writing i was grinning and squealing throughout the entire thing

taking back the crown (by hamnet / @happyprompto)  - rated m, sormik the biggest, best adventure a fic will ever take you on. its the captive prince au you never knew you needed, SUPER easy to get hooked on, features (understandably) asshole-ish mikleo and lovable zaveid. i love zaveid so much in this fic

the color of the wheat fields (by namio / @ghostofcrux) - rated g, sormik IVE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN: please let me live in this fic. it features some of the most gorgeously poetic writing you’ll read, a comforting small mountain village aesthetic, and slice-of-life adventures with sorey and mikleo. the only regret i have about this fic is that i didnt read it sooner!!

everything stays (by SportsAnimeRuinedMyLife) - rated t, sormik sorey comes back as a seraph but he’s lost most of his memory which means i cried bittersweet tears through this entire fic, its one of the purest sweetest most uplifting things i’ve ever read

toz drabbles (by centricexit / @saltin) - not rated, sormik if im being honest this is probably my favorite work in the zestiria tag on ao3. there are five drabbles and i love every single one, the first one especially, but i honestly have enough good things to say about all of them to fill pages and pages!!! theyre all achingly beautiful, its 100% worth your time to check them out

a light that never goes out (by lyriumveins / @tactician) - rated t, sormik BAND AU!!!! BAND AU!!!!!!! BAND AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and some of the best characterization ever. this fic was so entertaining and funny and perfect, the found family dynamic of the group was super strong and IM NOT JUST biased bc i live for mikleo playing classical piano, trust me its worth a read

for Sorey, when he wakes (by centricexit / @saltin) - not rated, sormik the epilogue fic you will cry real tears over bc the writing is so beautiful. i actually burst into tears over some lines like how do you even cOME UP WITH SOMETHING SO GORGEOUS

A voice through the darkness (by strikedawn) - rated g, sormik SUPER CUTE SUPER WELL-WRITTEN fic where sorey is a motivational speaker and mikleo is a writer and honestly theres never been a more perfect au??? i loved every part of this and clung to every word

Elixir Vitae (by Brightwinged / @brightwingedworks) - rated e, sormik i was SO elated when i saw sormik armitization smut and i honestly got even more than i was expecting, bc it wasnt just smut it was INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN SMUT, with some sentences that made me pause and set down my phone and consider how perfect they were

demon’s venom (by healing) - rated e, sormik UM HELLO if you read sormik smut then youve probably read this fic bc ITS DEFINITELY ONE OF THE BEST SORMIK SMUT FICS OUT THERE and who doesnt love some good ol’ fashioned elixir induced sex ;))))

dreaming (by healing) - rated g, sormik, platonic edna/mikleo IF YOU LIKE the relationship between edna and mikleo and would love to see it explored more then this is 100% the fic for you. i never thought their relationship could hurt so much but this fic HURT MAN, it was so thoughtful and sweet and beautiful :’’’)))

eternity in the horizon (by aetherae) - rated g, gen ooooOOHH MY GOD THIS FIC. if you like alisha even a little you NEED to read this fic, bc its the most thoughtful, spot-on characterization of her ive ever read and the care with which the author writes blows me away every time i read it!!!!! theres so much knowledge and so much to dive into and it made me remember why i love alisha so much ;;;

ambigram (by SinningShipper) - rated e, sormik HEY this is seriously some of the best smut ive ever read. the way the author dealt with corruption while still balancing sorey and mikleos personalities is just flat out amazing. it was a really really well executed concept and im really curious to know more about whats going to happen, like a smut fic has never left me wanting a plot-filled sequel but theres a first time for everything

take us to glory (by velvetcrowbars / @sogokita) - rated g, sormik yall i started crying the second i read the SUMMARY of this fic, literally before i even clicked into it!!! ive honestly never cried so consistently through a fic like i did for this one. it was SO gorgeous and i lingered over every word and also the tsoa reference really got me good ;;;;

be the overflow (by laskaris) - rated t, sormik pay attention to that major character death warning bc boyyy does that pack a punch. honestly reading this fic felt like having a hot butter knife stabbed through my chest and i loved every minute of it. the writing is rly beautiful too which makes reading it feel a very satisfying kind of painful 

Equivalent Exchange (by MatrixCube / @matrixcube) - rated t, zaveid/mikleo ok i just have to put in a very strong recommendation for this fic bc its ZAVEID/MIKLEO WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGH A FIC THIS GOOD WOULD EVER BE WRITTEN FOR THE SHIP!!!! the plot is so good and the relationship is so well developed and i would honestly be tripping over myself to praise this fic even if it didnt include my rarepair otp!! this fic is the best thing to happen to me all year please check it out

close your eyes and come back (by aspiringpencilcase) - rated g, sormik HELLO I LOVE LAILAH AND MIKLEOS RELATIONSHIP AND THIS FIC IS SO BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN, i was smiling and crying a bit all throughout it. its so sweet and gorgeous ;;;;

For All Her Goodness (by Woofemus / @floopers) - rated t, roseali THE ROSEALI FIC WEVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, its honestly so good and so beautifully characterized and the fact that we get to see so much of what goes on inside of roses head and what happens after she becomes a shepherd is delightful!! i feel like theres definitely not enough fics from roses pov so it was really refreshing and i LOVED how she was written!!!