#like i get it - he's very flawed and frustrating - and some of the Marvin hate posts are jokes but

[moreracquetball]

You constantly say you love Marvin, how can you love an abusive man who hit his ex-wife?

What a great question that could have been asked way morenicely!

But yes, I guess I do “constantly” say that I love Marvin.He is definitely my all-time favorite character of the musical, hands down. Now,and let me just stress this as much as I possibly can, just because he’s my favorite character doesn’t mean that I will ever tryto excuse/justify his toxic behavior and abusive actions. He was veryselfish and overly controlling of everyone in his life, and he was emotionallyabusive to others, and he physically struck Trina. That is not okay behavior,and I will never defend Marvin for that. It doesn’t matter if he was insecureor overwhelmed or scared. That doesn’t negate abuse.

To me, Marvin is not my favorite person in the musical (as in, I don’t love his personality aboveall the others and I don’t blindly agree with all his decisions and I don’t support/forgiveeverything that he did) but he is definitely my favorite character.

Indisputably, Marvin is the one character that shows themost character growth over the musical (/trilogy, if you want me to include InTrousers). In In Trousers, Marvin was aconfused, frustrated, miserable man who overcame his insecurity in his sexualityand grew to embrace himself as a gay man. In Act One of Falsettos, Marvin’scharacter development was even furthered ashe eventually abandoned his overly selfish, controlling, narcissistic, insecureself and became more humble and aware that not everything is about him and thathe needed to both realize and acknowledge his faults and wrong-doings. InAct Two, Marvin is shown to be a better person – he’s kinder and lesscontrolling and less selfish – but he isstill shown to be harboring some remaining selfishness and self-absorption (see:“Year of the Child” and “Everyone Hates His Parents”), which is then further depleted when Whizzer gets sick and Marvinstruggles to comfort and care for him.

To say that Marvin is just “an abusive man who hit hisex-wife” is very trivializing to the character itself. Marvin was also a clearlymentally ill patient of Mendel, an imperfect but adoring father to Jason, a dearfriend to the lesbians next-door, a flawed but nonetheless loving partner toWhizzer. Guys, Marvin wasn’t always terrible all the time – he supported Jasonin “Father to Son” and “Jason’s Bar Mitzvah,” he tried to help Cordelia get abooking in “Year of the Child,” he nervously flirted with Whizzer in “BaseballGame” and “A Day in Falsettoland,” he comforted Whizzer in “Days Like This” and“Unlikely Lovers” and “What Would I Do?” Sure, he had his imperfect moments, and I’m not saying that his kinder momentscancel out his less-than-kinder ones. What I am saying is that hisless-than-kinder moments do not cancel out his kinder moments.

Also, by trivializing Marvin like that, you’re completelymissing the the points that I believe William Finn was trying to get across.

First of all, Marvin’s flaws were carefully cultivated andframed in such a way that it is a very clear societal critique on William Finn’spart. Marvin’s selfishness and need forcontrol is based on his preconception of what masculinity and family means – asif those two concepts have concrete, constraining, narrow definitions. Societytold Marvin that being a man means being the bread-winner and coming home to a doting,domestic partner. Society told Marvin that a family means a husband, wife, andson (and a friend – it should benoted that Marvin did not call Whizzer his boyfriend or partner during “TightKnit Family,” as if he was still trying to keep up a façade of heterosexuality byreferring to Whizzer as just a friend).Marvin is a character shown to have a very narrow mind of what is “right” (see:accepted), and so he tries to follow these suffocating “guidelines” as if thatwill make him happy and content. Marvin is a very insecure man, and by showing how not only that he fails tokeep up these appearances but that he loses nearly everyone in his life,William Finn demonstrates that adhering to societal norms and “going by thebook” can lead to devastating consequences. Marvin is not only a flawed characterin this musical; he’s an example of what not to do, a lesson to those scared ofbeing different and unconventional.

He is also a prime example of just how cruel and unfair thatthe AIDS crisis was. One line in Unlikely Lovers has always stuck with me (it’sarguably the most devastating line of the whole trilogy), and it’s Marvin’s “I can’t help but feeling I’ve failed.”

Because in Act One, the misery wrought to Marvin’s life wascaused by Marvin’s actions. He lost his tight-knit family because he divorcedTrina and left Jason. He alienated Jason by abandoning him and not living up tothe minimum standard of a good father. He lost Whizzer because he was unwillingto ever be emasculated in the slightest regard. He caused his own undoing and unhappiness by being a bad person.

But in Act Two, things are different, right? He’s nicer,more willing to be proven wrong and “emasculated,” more doting on andsupportive of Jason, finally content with not “having it all.” So, by this logic, Marvin deserved ahappy ending, didn’t he?

But he didn’t get that happy ending. The love of his lifebecame sick, and it’s strongly implied that Marvin was also infected. Marvin feels like he’s failed to be thebest version of himself, that he’s being punished. In “What Would I Do?” There’sthe line, “Once I was told that good menget what they deserve.” But Marvin and Whizzer didn’t get what theydeserve.

Marvin’s redemption arc was so profound and pivotal to themusical, but it didn’t guarantee him a happy ending. It didn’t save him orthose that he loves from heartbreak and shatter. Because AIDS doesn’t care if you’re a good or bad person, if you “deserve”a happy or bad ending. Because “deserves” has nothing to do with it.

“I can’t help butfeeling I’ve failed.” Marvin tried to be a better person and get thathappiness, but he failed. And that’s – that’s devastating. And just the messagethat Falsettos was trying to send.

So, yes, I love Marvin. I won’t be shamed or guilted into lyingand saying that I don’t.

In Summary (in case you just skimmed through all that anddidn’t bother to read it):

Marvin was acharacter that was constantly changing, constantly evolving, constantlybecoming a better version of himself. No other character in Falsettos was likethat to that measure of extreme. Inaddition to his phenomenal character development, Marvin is a prime example of1) how preconceptions and socially accepted constrains on such concepts ofmasculinity and family and happiness can lead to one’s own undoing and misery,and 2) how the AIDS crisis didn’t discriminate between “good” and “bad” peopleand that “deserve” has nothing to do with it.

[spikycharlotte]

:0 all of them

y’all better strap in

four jews in a room bitching / what’s your favorite stereotype for your religion?

haha i don’t really identify with one in particular? so i’m not sure.

a tight-knit family / who do you consider family?

i for sure believe “blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” while i do have family members whom i do love and am proud to call family, i don’t think the question is calling for that.

my best friends are like family to me, and i’d do anything for them. i also have a mentor/teacher, and he and his wife are like second parents to me.

love is blind / what makes a healthy relationship?

C O M M U N I C A T I O N ! ! ! you should NEVER be lying to your s/o!! and if your s/o does something you’re not comfortable with/makes you upset, TELL THEM! you shouldn’t be stewing, but also don’t enter the conversation angry and accusatory. and on the flip side, if your s/o comes to you with something you did, LISTEN TO THEM. apologize and explain yourself, even if it was just a misunderstanding! avoid becoming defensive. 

the thrill of first love / what’s something you’d kill for?

answered here!

marvin at the psychiatrist / do you ever feel like no one is listening to you when you talk?

i used to feel this way all the time, but i’ve recently become comfortable with saying, “excuse me, i was speaking” when i’m spoken over. also i find myself in lots of leadership positions in my day-to-day, so i’m pretty good at making myself heard.

my father’s a homo / could you/would you want to be president?

the idea (a loud, genderqueer, butch lesbian with the conscience to do the best for others) sounds great, but i’m not the person that fits that description to be president. i’m infj, so i’ve got the teacher personality, and that’s what i want to do!

everyone tells jason to see a psychiatrist / do people nag you consistently about something? if so, what?

this is such a #relatableteen answer but my room is a goddamn mess and my mom nags me on the daily to clean it (something i never do)

this had better come to a stop / what’s something people do that infuriates you?

i talked about this a little bit, but when people come to me with relationship issues and the issue could resolved so easily if instead of coming to me and telling me, they just went to their s/o. a problem cannot be resolved through outside sources.

i’m breaking down / what makes you crazy/pushes you over the edge?

answered here!

please come to our house / what was the last thing you did to help someone?

ummm to fit with the “therapy” theme of this the other night i helped a friend when she needed to vent about some crappy home things. 

jason’s therapy / what’s the worst advice you’ve ever been given?

i resent this question being with this song!!! i think mendel’s “feel alright” advice (while flawed) at its core is actually kind of pure and good! of course the way he gives it is bad (ignore your problems!)

but worst advice i’ve ever been given was i asked a friend towards the beginning of my last relationship if i should continue it and she said i should, and it ended much later and i was very unhappy throughout most of it. so that was pretty shitty. (i now have a very wonderful girlfriend who is currently having me answer all of these questions :-))

a marriage proposal / how would you want to be proposed to?

actually something very similar to how mendel does it! something private and lowkey, and just having someone word vomit their love for me sounds very cute and endearing.

however i always thought of myself as the one who would propose, so there’s that

a tight-knit family (reprise) / are you satisfied with what you have in life, or do you want more?

well as a student in high school it’s kind of hard to be satisfied, because there’s so much i want to do but i can’t as my student-ness prevents me from doing so.

but considering my place in life, i think i am quite happy!! i have a great gf, great friends, and i’m kind of excited for this school year!

trina’s song / what’s the worst interaction you’ve had with the opposite gender?

every interaction i’ve ever had with a male human being ever in my life. i could go on and on. but one that comes to mind is how one time a dude went on this huge rant during a teacher’s lecture about freud’s psychosexual theories about how homosexuality is an unnatural choice, all while continuing to glance at me to make sure he got his desired reaction

march of the falsettos / who’s the most immature person you know, and why?

um i know plenty, but the worst are some of my younger very intelligent female friends who are more focused on their boyfriends than their academics, which while i love and support them infuriate me to no end.

trina’s song (reprise) / have you ever settled for something better than you’d expected, but not as good as you’d hoped?

while this worked out for trina, as she soon would realize that mendel would be as good as she hoped, settling for less than you hope is never a good thing. 

i’ve always thought this, so i can’t really think of any examples

the chess game / what’s the most petty thing you’ve ever done?

perfect question for this song, op. 

i’ve done a lot of petty things in my life, bc i think everyone does. very recently though a girl was annoying the hell out of me trying to get me to tell her the answers for our summer hw and i gave her the entirely wrong answers.

making a home / how different are you in public than in private?

my personality is very much the same, but i’m obviously more in public. i don’t swear as much. and in private i talk to myself and sing loudly all the time which doesn’t make much sense to do in public

the games i play / do you ever wish you were doing more than you currently are?

constantly. i’m in high school so my options are grossly limited. i’m super excited to go to college and begin my teaching career. i just really want to help people!!

marvin hits trina / have you ever hated someone for being happy?

before i was in a better place like i am now, i really resented my best friend for getting a boyfriend for a while. but now i’m fine and very happy for the both of them.

i never wanted to love you / have you ever liked something you knew was bad? have you stopped?

um in middle school i liked sup/erwhol/ock despite the problematicness of them all (the other two more so than d/octor w/ho), if that’s what this means.

father to son / what is your relationship with your parents?

i love my mom a lot, she’s great. she had me in high school, and my bio dad split when he found out i existed, so i’ve never met him, but i also have no interest in doing so. i love my (step) dad a lot, but our relationship is kind of strained bc i don’t think he fully understands my being gay (even though he’s not rude or anything about it)

falsettoland/about time / do you use labels?

i actually quite like labels ? i like legitimizing my identity by finding out that other people feel the same way, and therefore have worked to put a name to it.

that’s also why i kind of like the femme/butch scale even though it was initially a joke, bc it acknowledges that not every lesbian is lipstick OR stone butch, and idk i kinda like it. but i do hate when nonlesbians ,,,,,, use it ,,,,,,, to describe lesbians,,,,, bc,,, it’s not for them…..

year of the child / when was the last time everything was about you?

idk prob my birthday parties… i don’t like being the perfect center of attention, i feel uncomfortable

miracle of judaism / what’s the last significant decision you had to make?

oh geez idk. i don’t make a lot of those… i can’t think of one right now.

the baseball game / do you play/like sports? which ones?

i do not like them really… i like badminton tho… that’s more of an activity and not a sport though

a day in falsettoland / what’s your daily routine like? 

during the summer, i wake up and fart around on the internet, unless i have somewhere to be. all the while texting maggie all day

everyone hates his parents / what was the last thing your parents did that pissed you off?

my mom is a really bad backseat driver. like swearing and anger is her brand of backseat driving. so it makes me super anxious and angry hearing someone constantly bitch while i’m trying to drive

what more can i say? / are you in love? have you ever been in love? what is it like? 

answered here! 

something bad is happening / do you get frustrated when you don’t know something?

yes i do. its a problem, especially as i’m on academic team

more racquetball / are you a sore loser/winner?

yes yes yes. mariokart comes to mind in particular. if i lose it was lagging or too many items were unfairly sent my way, or if i win everyone else sucks and i’m the best

holding to the ground / how do you react when things don’t go as planned?

i’m not the best. i’m a huge control freak, so when things don’t work out perfectly i freak out

days like this / are you an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?

i think i’m like an.. optimistic realist? like i’m a realist, but with that i’m more likely to say “the worst case scenario is this, so at least that’s not happening”

canceling the bar mitzvah / how do you react under pressure?

i get stressed, but i also get my work done, so good and bad

unlikely lovers / do you have any friends who are extremely different from you?

yeah, a lot actually! i have one friend who listens to hard core rock stuff and has a bunch of piercings and has never listened to a musical in her life and i also have friends super into gymnastics and cheerleading and stuff. i love my friends!!

another miracle of judaism / if you could have anything right now, what would it be?

maggie, next to me

something bad is happening (reprise) / have you ever had to deliver some really bad news? how did it go? 

i had to explain to someone the oak/great comet drama, which was not fun. but i don’t think i’ve ever had to break super terrible bad news, especially not like what charlotte had to tell her best friend

you gotta die sometime / are you afraid of dying/death?

i don’t know…? the idea of nothingness is for sure daunting

jason’s bar mitzvah / what was the last big event you attended?

the other day i went to the first practice of the year for academic team! theres a lot of us and we had pizza and played and whatnot

falsettoland (reprise) / what do you want your legacy to be?

i just want people to remember me as someone who did their best to help others