#like i dont like being called 'trans' but transsexual is cool yeah thats me lol

[worldwake]

I definitely think I'm like, aro to some extent but I also think that a lot of it is that I don't have the time to dedicate to a relationship and flirting is really not my strong suit 😮‍💨

[feminisedlad]

It's kinda cool seeing you use the word transexual for yourself . . . I want to do it but I feel like people would get mad and send me hate, I see people say a lot that that word is regressive and hurts trans people? But then the same people will get mad if you aren't comfortable with the word queer. It's really confusing and I don't know what I'm allowed to do 😖

aghhhhhhhh yeah i feel this anon :( i mean i think in part youll just be happier if you try to ignore what random tumblr ppl think, its been hard for me too but like. i have to constantly remind myself that just bc a person on tumblr disagrees w me, doesnt automatically mean that theyre right and im wrong. i think the word transsexual can be used in harmful ways, but thats true of pretty much every lgbt identifier -- i also love the word for its historical specificity. it makes me feel grounded, and connected to the trans and nb people who came before me. 

youre right that the same ppl who are really zealous about defending the word ‘queer’ tend also to be the same ppl who’ll get pissed at someone identifying as transsexual, lol.  i think that, while the ppl you describe may seem inconsistent, they’re still operating on a consistent worldview. its just based on self-preservation. i would guess that these ppl see the word ‘queer’ as reflective of their identity and personhood (otherwise why would they ID that way) -- and those same ppl are likely to see the word ‘transsexual’, in its specificity, as harmful to their identities. ‘transgender’ has historically been used as an umbrella term which included GNC people as well as trans people; ‘transsexual’ has always only referred to trans people. so i think some of the ‘everyone should use queer’ people see transsexual as less inclusive, even though trans identities don’t necessarily need to be inclusive -- at least, not of cis ppl, lol. 

but that being said i dont care if ppl use queer or transgender for that matter, and im not saying ‘transsexual is a good word, transgender is a bad one’ or whatever. i just think that most online lgbt discourse centers feelings, validation, and identity because most of this site skews young. it isnt a bad thing, necessarily, but it does mean that its inconsistent and tangled and sometimes..........a lot. tldr just call yourself transsexual if its a word that makes you feel good. it may make some ppl bristle, but those arent the people you want in your life anyway