#like i don't think i've ever cried before???? what about time 8 was the charm

[ambreiiigns]

today i watched sk8 the infinity for. i wanna say. the 8th???? time?? and we are now noticing all the songs in the soundtrack and how all of them slap. like the op i have it downloaded to my phone ok the end credit song is nice we knew. the songs that play during the episodes tho? also slap???

[autumnalwalker]

Character Interview, Round 3

Another week of self-indulgently adding to my own character interview reblog chain. Eris's turn this time around.

Consider this a further open tag for anyone else who wants to do this.

1. Are you named after anyone?

That's kind of a funny story, actually. My real name is after my matrilineal great-grandmother whom I've never met. But none of the kids in school could pronounce it right and if any of the teachers could it was a long time before I had one that bothered to try. The fact that the way it tended to get mispronounced even after attempts to shorten it just so happened to be the same name as a Greek goddess was a happy accident. I actually went through a few different names once I left home - all keeping the same initial - but "Eris" was the one I always came back to and eventually settled on. It just fits, you know? These days the only people that know my real name are my folks, the government, and Lacuna. And probably Sully, the creepy bastard. I actually felt kinda bad telling Lacuna to just call me "E" after all the work she put into finally getting my name right. Hearing it made me think of home more than I like, and I wasn't expecting that.

2. When was the last time you cried?

A little while back when I was telling Lacuna about the closest I've ever come to dying.

3. Do you have any kids?

Nah. Maybe one day though, if I ever meet the right person and stop doing shit that's likely to get me killed young.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

That's kind of a weird question. It's just a part of language like anything else; a tool with its time and place. It's like asking someone if they use a knife when eating, no not all the time, or even most of the time but some dishes work better with one. I'd be skeptical of anyone who thinks they don't. Now, "Do I use sarcasm frequently enough that it's a defining part of my speech patterns?" No. Not unless I'm exceptionally ticked off or stressed out.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Depends on the context. If I'm on a hunt or in a sketchy area, threat assessment before anything else. Other than that, it's a combination of things. General mood, how well they seem to fit in, any hints of magic, a physical trait or two that sticks out to remember them by. That sort of thing. I try to keep any eye out for anyone that looks lost or out of place. I figure if there's something I can do to help then it's only right that I do. That's how I met Lacuna.

6. What's your eye color?

Brown. Imagine the most average shade possible and you're probably right on the money.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Definitely happy endings. The cheesier and sappier the better.

8. Any special talents?

I like to think I've got a good head for picking up languages. Growing up with three different ones at home probably helped. Every now and then I'll get someone asking me why I don't just get a translation charm, but anything other than the crazy expensive ones just aren't the same as really knowing the language. And besides, I like the challenge of learning for real.

9. Where were you born?

Mississippi, and God only knows why my folks ever moved to that backwater little hick town. Must have been the nature, because it definitely wasn't the people. Then again, I might be biased.

10. What are your hobbies?

Well, the monster hunting thing actually was my main hobby, but I guess since signing up with Road it's my actual job now too. That's cool, but I'll need to find something else to fill my free time. Maybe I'll get to actually read something for once instead of multitasking with audiobooks and science podcasts. That said, I'm still planning to continue doing volunteer work with NALSA once a month. That's the werewolf sanctuary. They like having people with thumbs on hand when the full moon rolls around.

11. Have you any pets?

I had a dog growing up that I've got a lot of fond memories of. Nothing since I moved out on my own though. Never could stand the thought of some critter being left alone and going hungry if one day I slip up and don't come home.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

A bit when I was a kid. I... ... Hey. You said this is some kind of meta pataphysics nonsense so nothing I say here's going to get back to our world, right? ... Yeah, so even all the way back in elementary and middle school I was freakishly tall and strong for a kid my age, years before I ever encountered anything supernatural that would make autogenesis kick in. Naturally, trying to get into sports was the obvious thing to do. Assorted P.E. and gym class activities that cropped up, softball for a couple years, soccer for a summer, whatever I could get neighborhood kids to play in the street or someone's yard. Whatever the game was, I was good at it. I had fun. Everyone always wanted me on their team. Then in seventh grade I threw a ball too hard and accidentally broke some girl's nose and her parents raised a fuss trying to get me kicked off the team. That was the first time someone ever accused me of being on steroids. Seriously, who says that about a thirteen year old? No one took it seriously of course and officially everyone agreed it was just an accident, but it opened the floodgates for other rumors. That I was secretly a guy. That I was on other drugs. That I was lying about my age and had been held back in school multiple times. That I was violent. I took it in silence knowing I hadn't done anything wrong for about a year until one day I had enough and hit someone on purpose for the first time. Needless to say, no more sports or extra-curriculars for me after that. No more rumors where I could hear them either. In the wake of that disaster I spent high school going back and forth between doubling down on being as much of a girly stereotype as I could and throwing myself into getting as close to perfect grades as I possible. Anything to shake off the old reputation and find some kind of acceptance. All it got me was getting asked out to prom and then stood up as a prank. Probably the best thing to ever happen to me really. That night I figured out that - one - I know who I am and I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks of me, and - two - getting in near-death situations and beating the shit out of things that hurt people feels good. ... I haven't even told Lacuna all that. Feels nice to get it off my chest. ... So... sports. Not really my thing but since I've got free time for new hobbies now, maybe I'll give them another shot.

13. How tall are you?

Six foot one. Pretty sure it's half the reason I get mistaken for a guy from time to time. It's worth that tradeoff though.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Some combination of math and science. I was briefly a physics major before I dropped out of college. To be clear, the dropout wasn't an academic performance thing. I just came home covered in blood one too many times so my parents cut me off. After that I had to pick two out of working a job, going to school, and monster hunting. At the end of the day I had to eat, and beating up things that go bump in the night won out over studying.

15. Dream job?

I still find myself fantasizing from time to time what it'd be like if I'd stayed in school. I always imagined myself going into some big, complicated, field with a lot of math. Astrophysics maybe. Or something more theoretical.

15 Questions: Character interview edition

Thank you for the tag, @words-after-midnight. I do enjoy writing in-character responses to questions.

Passing the tag to @cljordan-imperium, @theprissythumbelina, @blind-the-winds, @oh-no-another-idea, @dogmomwrites, and an open tag for anyone else who wishes to join in the fun.

Since this week's upcoming Empty Names chapter is from Ashan Glassheart's POV, I'll queue him up for this. I'm tempted to go do the rest of the Empty Names cast at some point in the future as well, like I did last time.

1. Are you named after anyone?

My grandfather, although I have not used that name in more than half my life. I still think of it a name of mine, but it is also a memento of a time I cannot go back to. Meanwhile, "Glassheart" is an homage to my teacher's epithet of "Glassgaze." As is traditional.

2. When was the last time you cried?

When I visited the tombstone my parents put up for me.

3. Do you have any kids?

No, and I would prefer to avoid the possibility. I may consider adoption one day though, particularly if I ever decide to take an apprentice.

4. Do you use sarcasm?

Only sparingly.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their overall demeanor. Tone, body language, and etcetera. Useful elements for planning impending interaction.

6. What's your eye color?

Light brown. Someone once called them "amber," but that was an ill-conceived attempt at winning me over with poetry on his part coupled with odd lighting.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

There is more than enough fear out and about in the world. And besides, I have not seen a movie since I was a child. Perhaps I should amend that.

8. Any special talents?

Other than being a wizard? I suppose I am a passable dancer. My teacher insisted it was good exercise for staying light on one's feet.

9. Where were you born?

Earth, the local anchor world iteration of it specifically, despite having left young. My early childhood memories are of a rural small town. Pray forgive me not being more specific, but my family still lives there and even if they think I died years ago I would prefer to respect their privacy.

10. What are your hobbies?

Finding relatively secluded natural areas to meditate in is the first thing that comes to mind for such a question, particularly since spending hours in a library pouring over tomes on arcane theory and practice is largely considered part of my profession rather than a hobby, no matter how much I enjoy it.

11. Have you any pets?

No, nor is my preferred practice of magic one that typically incorporates familiars.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

The closest I have ever come to playing sports is the time my teacher signed the two of us up as contestants in a gladiatorial tournament of sorts. She said it would be a good learning experience and practical test of my skills. She was correct, as usual, even if I was eliminated halfway through. Meanwhile she made it to the final bout and I have long suspected that she only lost that because she was holding back for the sake of not upsetting my image of her.

13. How tall are you?

Five feet, six inches. Roughly the same as my teacher. Given how much of a role model she was for me, I suspect the Autogenesis Principle may be as responsible for this a genetics. "What is the Autogenesis Principle?" It is the tendency for the bodies of those exposed to the supernatural - particularly those from anchor worlds who had previously been unaware of its existence - to physically warp and change over time to align with their self-image. That is the simplified version at the least. In practice there can be any number of factors complicating this creation of the self, so that one person might be barely affected while another can undergo exaggerations that border on the monstrous.

14. Favorite subject in school?

I was still in elementary school when I... left home with the woman who would become my teacher, but the memories of reading classes are the ones that I recall most vividly. To her credit though, she did make a point of tutoring me in other subjects I was missing out on more formal education for alongside my magical training.

15. Dream job?

Being a wizard and helping those in need. As I am already doing.

[pbandjesse]

I wanted to start this post about an hour ago but I finish watching hereditary and I was so horrified that I had to take a break and watch a couple videos. I mean they were videos about hereditary so it's not like I did much to fix the situation but stop. I'll come back and talk about the movie later in the post.

Today in general has been rough. I'm very tired. Working all week teaching and then doing 3 days in a row at ships is not going to be able to work in the future. I can do overnights but 3 solid 8 hour days after the emotional struggle of teaching, is just way too much for me. Today was very hard. There were good parts. But I feel very tired and I don't know how I'm going to make it through tomorrow. If I felt like I could get away with it I would ask James to switch with me. But honestly the whole day is going to be really really tough. And even though he's doing the lunch shift I don't think it's going to make much of a difference for me.

I slept okay. But I felt pretty terrible when I got up. I let myself stay in bed for an extra couple minutes and got dressed and made breakfast. Pack my lunch. I'm headed out. I got downtown and the river rank is almost finished being put together. I found out that it's $10 per skate but they have a season pass for $150. That might be worth it for me. Since my skating classes last year were just about that and only once a week. So if I get 250 as long as I go 15 times over the season it pays for itself. I'm not making a decision yet but I might be able to work at my budget depending on how long the season is. So I'm waiting to hear back from the email I sent to find out. But that would be really nice for me. Because I could go in the morning before I have to go teach and I would really really love that.

Work was okay. It was just exhausting and I felt very done. But me and Frank open the building. And I made my charge. He said I did a good job and I even gave him attempt on folding the tin foil. I started the day at the desk and mostly played online. Read the news. James came at 10:30 and got me a donut. It was pretty chilly outside and I had brought my wool coat out of storage this morning to wear. I felt very Shippy. And it was an okay day. I always liked working with James.

I was in charge of doing the firing today. And I wasn't not looking forward to it because I do want to be fully qualified on it. But as I was getting ready I realized we only had one primer. Was. We're supposed to have 4 firings this weekend. And if my firing didn't go well the first time we were out of luck. We only had the one chance. And of course I had the most people I've ever had in a crowd watching me. But between my ramming and Frank priming it over and over again. We had a good firing. And I felt very proud of myself at the end of it. Especially because it was right on time at noon.

I had lunch and watched videos. I still felt too tired and really just wanted to go home. But I tried to make the best of it. Having lunch helped. I'll talk to some really nice gifts and was able to share some of my knowledge and stories about constellation. And that was enjoyable. I was going to the desk for a while. And then me and James are outside together. And soon enough it was the end of the day. I felt bad that we didn't have a second firing because a couple people had wanted to see it but hopefully that gets dealt with. I'm not pleased that I'm going to be there tomorrow and have to find out what's going to happen about it. I really really wish I didn't have to be there.

I had been spending basically half the day contacting Marcus from access the elementary school about picking up the cat. And I gave him James's number so they could communicate. I sort of wish I had gone to James's house so that I could help get the cat in the carrier and give Marcus some tips. These Marcus didn't end up getting to him until almost 8. And I totally could have gone over there then done that. But what's done is done and I'm glad the cat is in his new home and I really hope he drives with him. He seems like a really sweet cat even though he needs his nails trimmed.

I had dinner and I did laundry. And while my clothes are in the dryer I took a bath. And put my movie on. Hereditary was one of the roughest movies I have ever watched. Like it's beautifully shot and the story was compelling and the characters were well developed. I felt every emotion that they were going through. Enough that was in the first 15 minutes I thought I was going to throw up because of something that happened to the characters and I cried. In a horror movie I cried at the emotions that these characters were feeling. It was way too long. And the ending was outrageous. I would not watch it again but I do want to read more about it and explore some of the themes. Because some of the parts of the movie were wonderful. But I would not sit down and watch the entire 2 hour 5 minute movie again. It was just way too much for me. And I have seen some shit. Like really bad shit and this movie really upset me. But I'm glad I watched it. Because I don't know it felt like I proved something to myself about being able to focus again. So it was nice to be able to watch an entire movie. After it was finished I called James because I couldn't text him my feelings about this movie. I just had a lot I had to say out loud. But I'm glad that we got to talk for a few minutes.

I finished putting away my laundry and I checked the mail. Just sent me a package with the cutest little squishy dinosaur. So now I'm for sure getting a clear backpack to keep all of my cute charm plushies in. But really I still feel nauseous and it's daylight savings so I'm getting an extra hour of sleep so I don't feel so bad staying up to watch videos for a pallet cleanser. I'm going to go wash my face and have a snack and continue to cuddle with sweet pea who has been so affectionate tonight. He keeps trying to push his face into my nose. Wish me luck getting through tomorrow because it's going to be a lot for me. I hope you all sleep well tonight. Good night